108 Notes...

108 notes...

*opens a Google doc labeled "insults/smack talk"*

Talking smack with characters in Impostor Au

Inspired by Jetstream Sam from Metal Gear Rising

(Warning: Use of a curse word)

Gorou:

"Y'know, for a male dog. You surely are a bitch"

"If you don't follow your orders, then you won't get a treat, eh?"

"Hey, can you give Ms. Hina a message for me?"

"Has Kokomi gotten you neutered yet?"

Kojou Sara:

"Good birdie, want some bread?"

"Oop, missed me"

"I wonder what you would feel when your vision gets taken?"

"How does it feel knowing your Archon likes another bird?"

Ei:

"You're not doing well honoring your sister"

"Have you asked on what Yae ate today?"

Raiden Shogun:

"You're pretty good for a bucket of bolts"

"I can't tell if Scaradouche is better than you or not"

Valentines Day

Beidou:

You two would spend the day at a nice little hotspring area she found on her travels. If a monster comes to ruin it, let's just say you're helping make a meal out of it.

(To be honest, I wonder what a geovishap would taste like)

All in all, you two would just spend the day cuddling, relaxing, drinking, and more...ahem, "mature activities" if you will.

Ningguang (Mora mommy):

To say she'll spoil you in jewelry or chocolates is not close. She'll spend millions on you and all she asks for is that you return the same affections to her.

(You better put a lot of glitter on that Valentines card)

Jean:

It took a lot of convincing to have her stop working and enjoy the holiday. The both of you would enjoy a nice picnic that's FAR from her office.

Eula (she should start saying revengeance):

It would start off with enjoy a ice cream then hang out for a while. Later, let's just say she'll exact her vengeance on you at your place (bow chicka bow wow).

Ei (you would be in debt if you show her anime, manga, and it's collectibles):

You're either spending your time in Plane of Euthymia with her or get her out of there and actually enjoy the holiday.

Yae Miko (I think I can see simps in the distance):

Oh god, the amount of teasing she'll do. You two would be reading a book together and she'll make the move and- (insert your own doujin story here)

I swear, one of these days ima work hard on getting several bots that can screenshot stuff and pull the greatest NFT heist

Yae, if you don't come home. Ima walk to that shrine and you better hope you're a masochist for what I'm about to do to you

Sagau cult edition x reader who's sick (totally not me rn) also, you have your phone

When the cult woke you up this morning, you began to hacked up mucus, cough, and gained a stuffy nose. They freaked out seeing you in this state. Soon great scientists and doctors began to examine you and prescribed medications.

After that whole ordeal, you told your cult- I mean faithful followers home remedies you learned about (from online or parents). One of which was to obtain oranges for the Vitamin C and to start using oils around ya, like 4 drops of Peppermint, 4 drops of Lavender, (and 2-4 drops of breath easier, but that doesn't exist there) in a diffuser of sorts.

The definitely not insane people who worship you find this through anything and some wrote this down for future use.

(I also cover my feet in Vics rub stuff then put socks on. I don't know how the feck that works but it does)

Anyway, the big group of simps came back and attended to you as you suffered in relaxation. If what you have infects other people, then we'll definitely have a bubonic plague situation as they believe that you're sickness makes you weak and they catch it, they'll die.

WHICH IT DOESN'T...hopefully

(I got a list somewhere)

"Craven Morehead"

"Eric Shin"

Or

"Jack Kinoff"

Okay in sagau, i know there's this scenario where the khaenri'ah bois know that the imposter is actually the real deal and they either go to the abyss with them to protect them or try to prove people that the imposter is legit.

So I have this short brainrot scenario where they would try to prove people that they're wrong. They're holding a meeting in the abyss and the reader is included (they're seated at the very head of the table). They talked about infiltrating a party hosted by some rich person but this party is also a huge info exchanging fest so they gotta go in disguises.

Not wanting the reader to feel left out in the meeting, they let the reader make their identities and fake names, since reader really can't come with them to the party.

Kaeya: ...then, our disguises are handled by our alchemist, Albedo. Your grace, will you be okay making our identities and fake names?

Dain: The names don't have to be so complicated or sophisticated. Simple is more preferable to avoid catching any unnecessary attention.

Albedo: Here's the official guest list, just write our fake names down, starting with the last names. After that, we'll immediately transport this back to the worker's office table as if it was never stolen.

Reader:

Reader: 'the absolute power I hold right now'