My Brain Won't Be Quiet So Have A Part Two To The "skeleton Dad Au" As I Am Now Calling It Until I Can

My brain won't be quiet so have a part two to the "skeleton dad au" as I am now calling it until I can think of an actual name for it.

As the hero's shade, Link can transform into the golden wolf. He didn't know this at first, but once he realized he could he started using his wolf form quite often. Interestingly, after the curse is lifted and link is "revived", he is still able to transform into the golden wolf.

Malon is just as much of a gremlin as her husband. Case in point: at one point Malon decided it would be funny to try and squeeze herself into Link's ribcage. She didn't consult Link on if this plan was a good idea at any point. She of course gets stuck, and in the end Talon has to help the couple get out of the mess. Malon was -and still is- completely unrepentant. Link was horrified by the experience and refused to leave his wolf form for 2 weeks.

Link got cursed into the form of the hero's shade while protecting lon lon ranch from a demon. During the fight link lost an eye. When Link landed the final blow on the demon, a surge of dark magic knocked him to the ground and surrounded him. When the magic dispersed, Link's transformation was complete.

When Link woke up after getting cursed he had a full blown crisis. It took some time, but with Malon's help he learned how to cope with his curse, eventually embracing it. After the curse is lifted, it takes Link some time to get used to being a hylian again.

Link honestly has no clue where the armor he wears as the hero's shade came from. He never owned a set of armor like the shade's before getting cursed. It just kinda appeared on him when he got cursed. Furthermore, the armor can't be removed by Link or by anyone else.

Link is very guilty of skeleton puns. A rather infamous one of his is "humerus" jokes. He becomes known for pulling out his humerus while making a horrible pun like "well I think my jokes are pretty humerus." Everyone groans and tells him to stop but they all secretly love his puns and he knows it.

Once, when Link got truely upset with something someone said, he chucked one of his bones at the person's head. When the person in question asked what was that for, Link looked them dead in the eye and said "because that wasn't very humerus of you." He had indeed thrown his humerus. This becomes a reacuring event.

After the curse is broken, someone says something that would have normally earned them a humerus to the head. Link on instinct goes to grab his humerus, but instead finds his now fully reformed arm. Link can now only glare at his intended victim as he informs them that they are so unbelievably lucky that he can no longer chuck his bones at them.

Once, An unwanted suitor of Malon heard rumors of how her husband turned into a skeleton, and assumes that they mean Link died. He sees this as a chance to try and win Malon's heart, and sets out for the ranch. The man immediately starts showering Malon in "condolences for her loss" without giving her any room to correct him. The suitor is both oblivious to Malon's obvious displeasure aswell as the figure that had entered the ranch house. He doesn't notice that anything is amiss until a shadow falls over him and a cold, sharp hand digs into his shoulder. Moments later the man is running for his life from the ranch, a golden wolf nipping at his heels, and Malon leaning against the doorframe as she laughs uncontrollably.

Link at some point brings home a stalhorse and declares that they're keeping it. He names the stalhorse Stal-lion, much to Malon's glee and Talon's disbelief. Epona becames the best of friends with Stal-lion, and will kick you if you ever say anything mean about her friend.

If you just found this, here's a link to part 1

You, me, overthrowing the hylian royal family, now.

Oh also this may not be the only instance of the hylian royal family trying to genocide the sheikah in the zelda time line (✿◕‿◕) have fun with that

RAISE YOUR HAND IF THAT ONE PART OF CREATING A CHAMPION SNATCHED YOUR SCALP

I just had a weird dream that could be a dumb au idea, probably.

So, the hero of time after his adventures gets transformed into the hero's shade. Not because he died or anything, he just got cursed or something and now is a stalfos. He spends his time at lonlon ranch helping out with stuff, and malon and her dad are used to his presence. One day link gets thrown through time to the future and now has to save hyrule once again. Que everyone being confused by why a snarky stalfos who is full to the brim with dad jokes is now saving the day.

Bonus points from the dream:

Malon and link are married. They got married pre link becoming the hero's shade, and she still loves her skelly husband.

Link is Zelda's cousin, I know this was important in the dream but I can't remember why.

The hero's shade becomes everyone's dad.

The vilan summons undead, and is trying to revive a dead god. After some time, the villain comes to believe that Link is the god they're trying to revive, and uses their magic on link. This breaks Link's curse, and link returns to being a hylian. After the ensuing battle, a newly "revived" Link finds himself trying to calm down his frantic allies and explain to them that he is actually their skeleton dad, but with organs.

Edit: there is now a part 2 of this nonsense.

As someone who needle felts, let me tell you this:

I have repeatedly stabbed something with multiple barbed needles at once. I have looked on with uncaring eyes as I have plucked a misplaced needle from my bleeding hand. I have snapped those metal needles from overuse after only a few months of having them.

Don't fuck with needle felters.

I don’t get how in fantasy fiction, the women who actually enjoy sewing/embroidering are always painted as the weak, boring, and anti-feminist characters 

Sewing and embroidery take skill, patience, and artistic talent and it was also the ultimate way to ignore the annoying men in your life in past centuries 

If you didn’t feel like talking to a man, you just “took up your sewing” and he’d have to leave you alone, especially if he needed that shirt mended

Women also got together all the time to sew, weave, embroider but also talk, gossip, assist each other’s work, and enjoy each other’s company in peace 

The skill the female character has doesn’t have to be sword-fighting for her to be strong, because there’s strength and power in any skill she has 

Part of me wants to make an actual small bio for my blog, but then again that would take away from the quote i've had as my blog's description since it's creation.

OH. MY. GOD.

Honking. All Star.

IM DYING THEY'RE PLAYING heyayaya IN MY COLLEGE CAFETERIA