Tired

Tired

[10:37 PM]

“Isn’t it exhausting?”

“What?”

“Always pushing people away.”

Yoongi’s hands hovered over his keyboard, his fingers no longer striking the keys. The weight of Hoseok’s words settled onto his shoulders, causing them to slump. He tried to shrug the feeling off.

“I never pushed you away. I never pushed our members away.”

“And I know you’re glad you didn’t.” Hoseok agreed. “So why are you pushing her?”

“It’s better than the alternative.” Yoongi mumbled, not meeting his friend’s gaze.

“What? Better than loving her? Better than being loved?” Hoseok’s tone was incredulous.

Yoongi heaved the kind of sigh only those who have known true pain can.

“Better than being disappointed,” is what he said. Better than being broken, is what he thought.

“But you’ve known her for so long... when has she ever disappointed you?”

“Never.” Yoongi confessed.

“So what are you so afraid of?” Hoseok smiled encouragingly.

But Yoongi wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was on his hands, still poised above his keyboard, his fingers trembling. 

“If she finds out how I feel about her, there are only two possible outcomes.”

“And you don’t think the best outcome is the most likely?”

Yoongi curled both of his hands into tight fists.

“I’m not that lucky.”

Hoseok scoffed, then shook his head.

“Maybe I’m wrong, but I think the only way the outcome could be bad is if you continue this self-sabotage.”

It was Yoongi’s turn to scoff.

“Look,” Hoseok continued, “I don’t blame you for being scared, but I know she cares about you. Aren’t you tired of pretending like you don’t care about her?”

“I’m tired of this conversation.” Yoongi grumbled, but Hoseok wasn’t wrong. He was tired. Exhausted, even. Being alone took so much effort. Too much.

And acting like he wasn’t completely drained was the most exhausting part.

“Hyung, listen to me,” Hoseok persisted, “I get that closing yourself off is what you do, but maybe just this once you should try getting out of your own head. You’ll probably be surprised how easy it is to stay when you stop looking for reasons to run away… and I think only good things will happen if you do.”

“You think I don’t know all of this?” Yoongi asked, but though his words were sharp, his tone was flat. He didn’t even have the energy to be mad. “You think I haven’t already told myself everything you’ve said?” 

A knowing smile blossomed on Hoseok’s face when Yoongi relaxed his hands and finally looked at him.

“Maybe you just needed to hear it from someone you trust.”

[1:04 AM]

“I should probably say goodnight.” You exhaled sleepily. “It’s late.”

Yoongi held his phone to his ear, but he made no response for several long seconds. Finally, he cleared his throat with a low rumble.

“What if... we keep talking for a while?”

“Aren’t you tired?” You stifled a yawn.

“Yes.” Yoongi agreed, his voice heavy. Only he knew how truly tired he was. “But I don’t want to say goodnight.”

“Really?” You sounded surprised, and he hated that you had good reason to be. “You’re always the first one to hang up. If you even bother answering my call at all.”

“I want to keep talking with you.” Was all Yoongi could say.

“Okay, but don’t go falling asleep on me.” You teased. “You can’t leave me hanging.”

“Don’t worry,” Yoongi assured you, already feeling strength returning to his limbs, “I won’t.”

Revamped my theme again, isn’t it pretty?! 😊

Interview Tag

Stole Borrowed this from the lovely @bangtan-sonyeonddaeng 😘

Rules: Answer questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

Name/Nickname: I go by CJ online (my initials)

Pronouns: She/Her

Star Sign: Aquarius ♒️

Height: 5’6” / ~168cm

Time Currently: 10:40 PM

When is your birthday? In 3 weeks! 🥳

Favorite Band/Group: BTS, Maroon 5, 5SOS, R5

Favorite Solo Artist: Josh Groban

Song Stuck in My Head: Some children’s song (I have a toddler) 🤦🏼‍♀️

Last Movie Watched: Hidden Figures

Last Show Binged: Start-Up

When I Created My Blog: December 2019

Last Thing Googled: “Kim Namjoon in Hangul”

Other Blogs: None

Why I Chose My URL: Woodstock is my favorite character from the Peanuts comics (and I grew up in a town called Woodstock) and I write about BTS

Do you get asks? Occasionally, but I would really love more! Please talk to me, don’t be shy!

How many people are you following? 26

How many followers do you have? 478 - so close to 500! And I love you all! 💕

Average Hours of Sleep: 7 - 8, but I would love more 🥱

Lucky Number: 7!

Instruments I Play: Piano, flute, dulcimer

What are you wearing right now? A burgundy long-sleeve thermal shirt and black fleece-lined sweatpants (It’s cooold here 🥶)

Dream Job: Residential architect (but also a mom, and I’m living that dream 😊)

Dream Trip: London, Ireland, Denmark, South Korea

Favorite Food: Pizza 🍕, pasta 🍝, and potatoes 🥔

Favorite Song: Telepathy by BTS is my current jam

Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like to Live In: Hmm, does the BTS Universe count? 😄 Maybe the Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Lord of the Rings, or Star Trek

Tagging @inaffiare , @bucky-thorin-winchester , @animeenthusiastxoxo , @munkey888 , @sleepyjhs & @yvemoon , but no pressure! 💕

Boyfriends: You Accept the Club Owner’s Offer

“I would be honored to join you on Vante and be your queen.” You tell V. “When do we leave?”

V gives you an endearingly boxy smile, obviously pleased by your response.

“Immediately.” He says, pushing another button on his desk. “You may want to hold on.” He adds, nodding towards your chair.

You grip the armrests of your seat as the walls of the spherical room start spinning, quickly gaining speed.

“Don’t be afraid.” V reassures you. “Once we reach orbit, the journey will be perfectly smooth, and it will pass quickly. We’ll travel directly to Vante and reach our destination in approximately one Earth hour.” 

You take a deep breath, calming yourself, and through the transparent walls of the orb, you can see that you’re rising straight through the ceiling of the night club and heading up, up, up into outer space. 

A few weeks later, it’s another typical morning on the beautiful planet Vante, and you awaken in your luxurious, opulent chambers, with King V (still in his gorgeous human form) snuggled up next to you in your massive, silky, pillowy bed.

After exchanging a lingering good morning kiss with your handsome lover, you begin your daily routine: a full spa treatment that includes a head-to-toe massage, a facial, a manicure, a pedicure, and a soak in the hot springs while you’re served chocolate-covered strawberries and piña coladas. And, in accordance with your wishes, every servant that waits on you has assumed the appearance of either a K-drama actor or a K-pop idol. 

After your morning routine, one of the council leaders enters your chamber and reminds you that it’s Tuesday, and every Tuesday the queen will typically go out on her balcony and make a proclamation to her subjects. Many of these subjects have traveled thousands of kilometers just to catch a glimpse of their ruler. 

You open your balcony doors and look out on the impressive scene. Hundreds of citizens of Vante have gathered in the courtyard below, and they greet you with thunderous applause. You raise your hands, signaling for them to quiet, but they don’t stop clapping and shouting.

“They adore you, My Queen.” V says, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around you. “As do I.” He adds, pressing a kiss to your cheek before nuzzling his face into your hair.

According to V, you are by far the most popular queen in Vante’s history, and you are celebrated everywhere for your kindness, generosity, and wisdom. 

Needless to say, life on this alien planet sure beats a life of bad blind dates back on Earth. 

The End

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Movie Tag

You’re starring in a movie with the last person saved to your camera roll as your costar, and the last song you listened to is the title!

Thanks for the tag @sleepyjhs ! 💕

Now that’s my kind of movie right there. 🤩

Not tagging anyone, but if you see this and want to play, please do!

finding out the heights of your internet friends is always the weirdest thing