Oh, The Longing. To Be In His Arms, I Feel That In My Soul.

Oh, the longing. To be in his arms, I feel that in my soul.

I can't wait for the rest to unfold.

FLUX Chapter 2

Link to Ch. 1

Music used to write this chapter!

Warning!!!

You read at your own risk! 

I can’t possibly predict what may or may not trigger you!

So, with that being said, READ RESPONSIBLY! If something triggers you, STOP READING!

Also, if you’re a minor, and you continue reading, that falls squarely on you! I don’t work for Tumblr and refuse to stalk every single profile on here to see if you are in fact over 18!! 

I write for myself. If you like what you read, give it a like and a reblogg! No pressure! It just helps get the word out! 

Thanks for stopping by!

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What is life, if not but a long, and terribly winding road that leads directly to our predetermined fate? 

Are the rules ever so simple? 

Are there any rules? 

I mean really? 

Aren’t we just specks of dust floating around in an entire catastrophic arena of galaxies? 

Can we really close our eyes and for just a second, just a brief moment, touch the past? 

Are we able to look down a long hallway and see our future staring back at us? Reaching back for us? 

Are we really, then, so eager to pick up the pace and take the most often empty hand of fate? No matter where it leads?

No matter what it offers?

…………

Eyes closed, heart hammering against his ribcage, Leo reluctantly recalled his most recent dream, (or as he had come to call it, a nightmare) as he sat at the kitchen table, nestled in the center of the lair, seemingly safe from any would-be foe. Any physical one anyway.

 His tea, long since grown cold, sat before him in his favorite bright blue mug, donning a chicken wearing a T-shirt that read: I’m not telling you why I crossed the road. 

Dreams never really bothered him to this extent. Before, he could just let them go. Chalking them up to a previous night of hard patrol through the city or a fight with his brother Raph. But these dreams? Dreams of her? If he had hair, it’d be gone. His fists full of it.

Leo shook his head, trying in vain to dispel her image. It was futile. She stubbornly remained. Her long curly red hair framing her reddish-brown furry face was firmly stuck in his mind. Along with her bright green eyes. Burned into his very psyche. 

At first he thought she was someone he had seen in a movie, someone on the street, or possibly one of Mikey’s manga books, but no. Now he knew better. This woman. This unbelievable mutant fox woman was someone he now needed. Craved on a primal level.

His thoughts wondered where they so often did when his leader's mind took over. If she was a mutant, that must have meant that they missed a canister of mutagen. And this woman, whoever she was, must have come into contact with it, or worse. What if some other bad guy-

Leo puffed his cheeks, then blew out a long exasperated sigh. “I don’t even know where you are.” He breathed, staring down into his tea, his blue eyes reflecting back at him. “How can I even begin to look for you?”

“My son? Is something troubling you?” Master Splinter asked, tightening the belt to his robe as he walked into the kitchen.

Leo placed his hand over his mug, gripping it tightly as he stood, his thumb completely covering the chicken. “I can’t stop dreaming of her, Master Splinter.” He sighed as he turned to pour out the cold tea.

Master Splinter appraised his son with cool brown eyes. “I see.” He gently stroked his goatee. 

“I tried to meditate, I tried to do my kata’s, and I tried to do hundreds of laps around the sewers.” Leo growled. “But she’s always there! When I close my eyes, I can see her as clearly as if she was standing here beside me.” He shook his head, a wave of sudden grief passing through him as he placed a small pot of water on the stove, gently turning the dial. 

“What’s more, Sensei, is that I can feel her,” he said softly, moving his right hand to the center of his chest, “right here.”

Splinter nodded. “Yes, I believe that the universe has found a way to make her connection to you much stronger than before. We must find a way to discover where she is so that you two may finally see each other face to face.”

Leo leaned against the counter, his arms crossing over his chest. “I agree, Sensei. I do. But I don’t even know where to begin. Just when I think I have an idea where she might be, everything fades away and I wake up.”  He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “In the last dream, I gave her a red rose, wrapped in black velvet.” He opened his eyes, locking them with his Sensei’s. “I could literally feel the fabric slip between my fingers.”

Splinter’s furry brows rose slowly as he let out a breath. “It seems the universe is about to bring about something very special. I only hope it happens swiftly, for your sake as well as the woman you're dreaming of. I can only imagine the ache she is also experiencing.”

Leo’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as he nodded. He knew all too well what she had to be feeling. 

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Foxes.

Red, brown and white.

Fox.

I can hear them. 

Pulling me from my life.

Leading me towards a new one.

They're telling me to run.

To run with them. 

To be free.

To feel everything around me.

To be me.

I need to save them.

I have to.

Who?

The foxes?

Wait?

Where did they go?

They were just here!

I can’t see where I’m going anymore!

“You can’t expect me to take care of everything, sister!” Star’s brother’s voice echoes all around her. “They’re your parents too!” 

“Skylar!” She shouts into the void. Instantly, she’s transported to her childhood home, her human feet firmly planted on the driveway, her brother’s face intense as he stares at her. 

No. Not this again. Star tenses, waiting for the scene to play out. 

“I know that! God, do I fucking know that!” Her lips move, words that were said a million times in her dreams come flowing out once more. “What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? Sitting on my ass?” She glared at him, her eyes flicking momentarily to the bright blue suitcases sitting on the ground next to her brother’s brown van. 

Bright blue? Wait. They weren’t that color-

Star sighed, knowing what her next words would be. “Just get them to the airport. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Skylar asked, his tone softening as he reached for the nearest suitcase. A small fox quickly ran out from behind it, then under the van. Didn’t he see that?

Star took a deep breath, casually bending down to try and see if she could see the small fox.

“Star? Are you even listening to me?” 

Star shook her head as she stood. “No, Skylar. I don’t. I can’t.” She closed her eyes against the sudden rush of tears. “It’s enough for me to know the you’ll be there. That you’ll take care of our dad’s.”

Star watched helplessly as Skylar loaded the last suitcase in the back of the van, that familiar look on his face. His heart was also so very heavy. She knew what he was afraid of, because it was exactly what she feared as well. That their father would never get better. That there wasn’t any hope for him. No matter how much any of them wanted it to happen. 

“It just really sucks, you know?” Skylar sighed. “For him to go from being a top surgeon to-” He choked. 

Star nodded, her chest tightening. “I know.” She whispered. 

Star suddenly caught the small fox out the corner of her right eye and gasped. All at once the scenery blurred, filling the space with a bone deep chill. Dark shadows crept in at the edges, threatening to overtake her if she didn’t run. 

Run for her life. 

Run for her death.

Run for any reason at all.

Star could feel the blood rushing through her body, pounding in her ears as she was enveloped in the swirling colors of the portal, then finally stepped through, emerging on the other side of the portal, almost walking straight into a department store window.  She turned around just in time to watch the portal spin, its colors more vibrant than before, then roar one final time, before fizzling away, then disappearing with an audible POP! 

Star looked back, her head tilting back to see that she had been transported in front of a MACY’s, blue, green and pink lights flashing in the front window. Was it Christmas here? Here! Star sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes wide as she looked around. Off in the distance the Chrysler Building lit up the night sky, shining like a beacon. 

“I’m here! I’m in New York!” She breathed, trembling as she turned back to the window behind her. There, she saw her reflection a second time in less than an hour. In full fox form, her fur blew slightly in the cold breeze, soft white snow catching in her deep red curls. 

“Hey! You!” A man suddenly shouted, making her jump.

Shit! She needed to hide. Although she may be where she belonged, it was still quite dangerous to be out in the open. Humans couldn’t be trusted in any world. She quickly darted to her left, running down the snow covered sidewalk, then ducking down an alleyway. She needed to find Leo, but had absolutely no idea where the lair was. 

Sure, she had watched the movies and seen the animated episodes, but it's not like anyone ever drew a map. One thing she definitely knew was that it was located in the sewers. Trying to catch her breath, she frantically searched the ground for a manhole cover. 

“There’s got to be one around here somewhere!” 

She shuffled her furry feet through the snow covered, trash strewn ground, her heart galloping away in her chest as she heard footsteps approaching. Please! Oh God, please! After a few more seconds she found it. She crouched down, digging her claws into the crevices that surrounded the iron circle, and heaved the metal disc upwards, her muscles straining as she slid it to the side. 

The smell of raw sewage slammed into her and she fought not to hurl. “Ugh!” She waved her hand in front of her, her eyes squinting. 

“I think it went down that way!” A woman said loudly behind Star. 

Ok. Time to go. Star took a quick breath, then turned, placing her feet on the top of the ladder below, descending into the sewer. After she pulled the manhole cover back over head, she looked around. Pipes of every size ran off in every direction. While nasty brown water ran all around under her. She sighed. How was she going to find him in this enormous maze? 

When she lowered herself to the ground, she closed her eyes, fighting to listen. She could hear steam, running water and a sort of odd banging off in the distance. Was that music? She opened her eyes, hope lifting her heart. Could it be just that easy? Was she that lucky to have picked the one manhole cover that was close to the lair? 

Her left ear twitched, picking up a faint melody off to her left. She grinned. Oh my god! Every part of her tingled as she took off in the direction of the music. This was it! The further she went, the louder the music became. 

Star froze in place when her bright green eyes landed on a large closed wooden door, a beam of yellow light shining out from underneath. Trembling with confusion, excitement and fear, she took a deep breath, steading herself, then reached for the large iron handle with her tiny brown fur tipped fingers.

As the door opened, Star nearly fell to her knees. There before her, in all its glory, was Donatello’s security setup. Dozens of monitors displayed various areas of the city, backlit in purple and green. Some flashing with warning symbols and others continuously running codes.

As if on autopilot, Star’s feet carried her into the lair, the feeling of home washing over her. The smell of fresh baked pizza filling her nose. Tears stung her eyes. 

“It seems the universe had other plans indeed.”  A soft male voice said. “Welcome home, Star.”

Star’s heart skipped a beat as she turned to see Master Splinter standing by the entrance to the lair, holding a candle. Tears now wetting the fur on her cheeks, She swallowed. “How do you know my name?” She asked, even though she knew how. He wasn't a master for nothing.

Splinter was quiet for a second as he took in her presence. “This has been in the works for sometime, my child.” He motioned for her to sit down on the bright red couch next to Donnie’s workstation.  Star slowly sat down, her tail curling around her waist as she rubbed her forearms. 

He smiled softly, his brown eyes glinting in the soft light. “Leonardo has been dreaming of you for some time. He has told me all about you.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, Master, but where is he?” She whispered, looking around.

“Ah!” He grinned. “You are not being rude, my child. They are on there nightly patrol around the city. They should be back-” He was blissfully interrupted by a series of whoops and shouts just beyond the door. 

Star watched, her heart immobile in her chest as all four of them came bursting through the door. Raphael was the first, then Donatello, followed by Michelangelo, then finally Leonardo. 

“Whoooo! I beat all ya! Again!” Raph shouted, then came to a jarring stop, his sea green eyes landing on Star. 

Leo’s eyes widened as he came around Raphael to see Star as she stood, visibly trembling. He was everything she had imagined AND MORE! His blue eyes locked with hers, their chests rising and falling in tandem. 

“My son, it seems you were never meant to find her. She in fact has found you.” Splinter smiled, glancing between Leo and Star.

“Leo I…” Words failed her as her throat began to tighten. 

Sheer relief flooded Leo, his lips twisting into a wicked smile. “This is unreal! Oh my-” He shouted excitedly, running towards her. 

Star held her arms out, reaching for him, her chin tilted upward, ears laid back as she took him in. He towered over her small frame. But it didn’t matter to her. She just wanted to be in those strong arms of his. To feel his plastron against her fur covered cheek. 

Leo chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her, picking her up. Breathing in her scent, he held her tightly to him, running his right hand over her fox ears, then through her long hair. She felt even better in person than she had ever felt in his dreams. She was so soft. So warm. So his.

Then everything around them disappeared. They were the only two souls left in the universe. In all that ever was and ever will be, it was just them. Two single shafts of light that had beat the odds and found one another. Ripped from time and placed among the void. Every cell inside them exploded, then mended back together. 

She was a part of him.

He was a part of her. 

Soul Mates.

“Whoa! Is that the fox chick that Leo was talking about?” Mikey asked, a huge grin on his face. 

“How did she even get here?” Raph’s eye ridges rose as he watched his brother smother Star in kisses. 

“None of that matters right now, my son. All things will be revealed in time.” Master Splinter said, then turned to leave the room, a wide grin on his furry face. 

Tags: @thelaundrybitch @wynndigogh

Author's Note:

FLUX is my escape. But it also helps me to tackle issues that arise in my life. Through writing I can work through my thought processes and interact with characters that I deem safe and at the same time necessary for my psyche. 

My OC Star Lanteen is very much and in every way, me. It’s true that I also see myself in my other OC’s, but not like Star. Do I want to be with Leo and Raph? 1000% YES! Do I want to be a shapeshifting elemental? Also 1000% YES! If I could escape this life, I would do so in a heartbeat! 

All the feelings in FLUX are first processed through my mind, then put on this wonderful screen for you all to read. Trust me, it’s not an easy process at times. I catch myself needing to step back or take a break because of it. I can’t write and not feel what the character is feeling. To me it just feels odd when someone can. 

How do you not get attached to your children (I mean characters)? HA! 

Are there things I’m not willing to write about? Yes. But it doesn’t mean I’m not open minded! To each their own!

I hope you enjoy FLUX as much as I do! Thanks for stopping by!

The boy is perfection

Been thinking about doing this for a while, and about writing all the lads. But Leo comes to me the easiest, I guess?

Lowkey vent session!

Leonardo × F!Reader w/ Nightmare Disorder

Bad Dreams

He couldn't sleep.

Leonardo was endlessly tired. His eyes closed. But he was stagnant. Just laying here; thinking. Fretting. Totally unable to drift off.

The days events had been stressful, and he was overwhelmed with new information. Leo's mind raced with tactical strategies, leads, and contingency plans- wishing to handle the multitude of new problems NOW. But unfortunately, nothing was going to be solved anytime soon.

Which was all the more reason Leo should be asleep. No gear. No mask. No more new information. Everyone was gone. Asleep.

Leaving him ansty.

But he stayed here. Silent in the dark. The only thing keeping him in bed- fighting the temptation to walk around- was her.

Leo reveled in the warmth radiating at his side. The extra weight on the bed brought him a peace he was still getting used to; listening to her quiet, even breaths. He knew she was staying tonight out of sympathy or worry for what today had wrought- Leo wasn't sure.

She rarely stayed in the sewers for long. Let alone overnight. When he met her, it had bothered him. A flare of indignation and protectiveness would burst in his chest at the fact sometimes, and he had fought to ask why.

But she soon told him the real reason why she never stayed; told him while they were curled up on the couch. She was slumped against him, exhausted and upset, eyes red from crying.

Leo's heart had broken over her tired, nonchalant confession. And even more so at the graphic and horrible details. It got worse and worse, and he had almost asked her to stop.

Which was why now; Leo wasn't surprised when something in her changed.

It was still pitch dark in the room. But her peaceful breathing shifted. Just slightly in the silence. Quickening just enough- to click Leo into high alert, and he blinked his eyes open.

She wasn't awake, but he lifted his head quietly just enough to look at her. His nocturnal eyes could see her clearly, where she was curled away from him. Leo watched her back. Her sides.

Her torso was moving in tiny jerks with her small huffs. Her hand, the one bundled up close to her face holding the blanket, twitched.

Leo watched, saddened. The condition wasn't as dramatic as he had first thought. Always subtle, just like this. Nothing like his night terrors, which would wake him up in a cold sweat, leaving him so paranoid he'd sometimes get up to check on his family. He wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

Hers were so quiet that most of the time, it didn't even break his sleep; that alone being a miracle.

Leo was still watching.

She had explained that it is normal- and they happened every night. A life-long chronic issue, dating all the way back to her first memories. Haunting her night in and night out. Though sickness and in health.

Leo didn't have to wake her every time. She'd even explained that sometimes it was worse to jerk her awake. That it was even more disorienting to have an actual person grabbing and shaking her.

It was always going to be there, she had whispered, and Leo had actually believed her. His critiques, his suggestions and easy fixes dying on his tongue at the way she had been looking at him- like she was sad and resigned. Studying him. Watching for his reaction. Waiting for him to leave.

But Leo was here now. He hoped he always would be. His hand hovering over her arm, in the middle of the night, witnessing just another little fit.

Leo decided he couldn't wait. Couldn't watch.

"Y/n." He whispered. "Y/n, baby." He wiggled her shoulder just a little before he got up, bending his legs, resting on a hip and hand while he leaned over her. "Y/n?"

She blinked her eyes open, then suddenly grabbing for the pillow, squinting in confusion. Leo was there in a heartbeat, petting her back and brushing her hair away from her face. "It's me, it's just me. You're okay."

She sighed, eyes closed again as she slumped back onto the pillows. "Did I wake you up?" She whispered weakly, that pretty voice rough and broken.

"I never fell asleep." Leo moved again, scooting closer and switching his supporting hands, leaning even further over her form. Giving him room to comfortably pet her face and neck. To look at her. To sheild her from the room. "You okay?"

"Yeah." she said easily, eyes still closed.

Leo learned early on that prying for the details of a nightmare would only exhaust and hurt both of them. Sometimes, it even scared Leo, though he would never admit it.

"Need me to keep you up?" Leo offered instead.

She twitched, as if not expecting the question. She opened an eye, and Leo gave her a small smile, still petting her face. "I can keep you up."

"You sure you're not tired?" She asked.

"Yep." Leo whispered and leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'm right here. C'mon. Turn around."

She did as told, scooting around as he fell back into the sheets. This was always Leo's favorite part. They slotted together with practiced efficancy, and Leo buzzed with satisfaction at having her curled up under his chest and arm. Like perfect puzzle pieces. A position that allowed comfort for both him and the shell. And unlimited nuzzles and kisses to her head.

"Want to hear what's keeping me awake?" He asked.

"Yes, please." She muttered into his chest, then rested a hand over his collar bone. Pressing lightly there. "Thank you."

Anything for you. Always.

Leo pressed one last, sad kiss to his girlfriends head. Then he relaxed into her and the mattress, filling the dark with his quiet voice

Yessssss!

TMNT 2003 | The Shredder Strikes (Part 2)

Awesome! You have given me an idea to have with my stuff. Your mind is wonderful ✨️

FLUX-YEAH!

New story line brings about a new story board! This is my morning 🦊💙❤️

Omg...he's Flipping ADORABLE!!!!!!!

(Donnie vibes!)