Friday The 13th Oneshots: Michael X Jason

Friday the 13th Oneshots: Michael x Jason

Chapter 2: Halloween Headache

It was almost that time of the year again, Jason thought as he eyeballed the calendar on the table. He had never cared about holidays until he came along.

Right on cue, Michael trudged in from the back door, dragging mud all over his freshly mopped floors. Jason let out a huff, gesturing angrily at his partner who barely spared him a second glance. Michael was always 'moody', especially around Halloween. Jason wasn't exactly sure why the holiday had such an effect on the Haddonfield slasher, and Michael himself wasn't certain why either. But neither of them cared enough to stew over it.

His mood swings got worse around that fateful day, and Jason had to constantly watch his back to make sure the smaller man wouldn't jump him with a knife to the shoulder or rip off his clothes. Personally, he preferred the latter. But this year, he had a peace offering. Jason smiled giddily under the mask, feeling the weight of the candy hidden beneath his old, bulging jacket.

He knew Michael had a massive sweet tooth, despite his efforts to conceal it. Any desserts that Jason made or stole would immediately disappear before he even had a chance to taste it. Personally, Jason didn't care much for sweets, so it made no difference to him if Michael decided to hog it all. Unfortunately, most trespassers knew better than to carry aromatic foods into the forest, lest they wanted to attract unwanted attention from bears or worse.

Clearly, the hikers yesterday were not so smart, bringing an entire bag of candy into the woods to stuff their faces. Jason had found and dispatched them in an instant, claiming his prize and doing his best to hide it from his lover. Luckily, Michael didn't seem to suspect anything, too caught up on his yearly Halloween bloodlust to pay much attention to Jason.

Jason grinned, sneaking over to their shared bedroom where Michael was already hard at work staring out of the window. Michael didn't react to Jason's heavy footsteps, and it wasn't until he heard the unfamiliar sound of crinkling plastic did he finally turn around.

Jason pulled the bag out of his jacket, showing it off proudly to Michael. Hidden by the pale, white mask, Michael's eyes widened in shock. How long has it been? Over a decade at least since he's last tasted Halloween candy. It was the night he'd killed his sister, Judith. The food at Smith's Grove was bland and repetitive, and there was never the luxury of anything sweet or even food that tasted remotely edible.

But Jason didn't know that. If he had, he probably wouldn't have presented Michael with the whole bag at once. It seemed to trigger something in the Boogeyman; Jason had never seen him move so fast.

Michael lunged, startling a surprised grunt out of the normally mute killer, grabbing the bag and speeding out of the room. A door slammed in the distance, the distinct click of a lock loud in the empty house. Jason stood rooted at the spot, frozen in confusion for a few seconds before a thought hit him.

Was he going to eat the whole bag at once?

Even Michael wouldn't be able to stomach that much candy at once, he was going to get a massive stomachache, Jason worried.

Quickly, he found Michael in the spare room, but the door was locked. The sound of movement slipped through the cracks at the bottom, and Jason pounded a heavy fist against it. Something was thrown against the wall in a clear indication of 'go away'.

Jason exhaled loudly, knocking again, only to be ignored. Michael wouldn't budge, he was too busy tearing into the bag, damn the consequences! No way would he let Jason take it away.

After about ten minutes of fruitless knocking, Jason finally gave up, sliding against the wall as he sat down next to the door.

Eventually, Jason dozed off, leaving Michael to scarf down the candy in peace. It must have been hours later until Jason awakened. The sky was dark, blanketing the small cabin in a soothing darkness. It was quiet, too quiet. Jason perked up, ears straining for any sound behind the locked door.

A soft groan caught his attention and he immediately broke the lock on the door, resigning himself to fix it later. Jason burst through, halting as he saw the figure of his unmasked lover curled up on the sheets, candy wrappers strewn on the floor and bed. There were still a few pieces left, but the rest of it was gone. A loud gurgle echoed through the room, coming from Michael's stomach, Jason realized.

Shakily, Michael reached for a wrapped chocolate and Jason had to hold back from face-palming as he watched. He grabbed Michael's wrist, pulling him away from the candy.

Michael shot him a venomous glare, growling loudly and jerking weakly in his grasp. Jason tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at the smaller male as if saying, "Really?"

Even with a stomachache he was still trying to eat. He moved the candy away from him, sending Michael into a thrashing fit. A knee was suddenly thrust into Jason's ribs, briefly winding him enough for Michael to break free and make a wild dive for the candy.

Lunging forward, Jason grabbed his ankle and pulled him back, promptly collapsing him onto his stomach and locking his arms around his chest.

Michael let out a grunt as all of the air was expelled from his lungs, the sound muffled by the duvet pressing into his face.

He went deathly still for a moment and promptly threw up all over the bed and rug, letting out a few raspy coughs as he finally finished expelling all the colorful fluids. Jason could do nothing except gently pat his back through the violent heaving, hoping that it wouldn't stain the already deteriorating floors.

It reminded him of that year when he caught his counselors watching The Exorcist, and back then he had covered his eyes as the girl projectile vomited everywhere on screen. Except this time he had a front-row seat.

This Halloween was certainly shaping up to be an unusual one, Jason thought as he moved Michael's head away from the puddle of foul-smelling, partially digested candy on the corner of the bed. It seemed like all the fight had fled from him along with the contents of his stomach.

He tried scooping Michael up to take him to the showers but being a stubborn bastard he refused, pushing Jason away and rolling onto his side with an irritated growl.

He fell asleep almost immediately, and Jason didn't have the heart to wake him. A small smile worked its way onto his face as he watched the rhythmic rising and falling of Michael's chest, dark lashes fluttering lightly every now and then. Carefully, Jason lowered himself next to his sleeping lover, heart swelling with unbridled affection. Slowly, he too was lulled to sleep, dreaming about sharp blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Michael may be a shithead, especially around Halloween, but he was Jason's shithead, and no one would be able to take him away from him.

Goku Black x Reader: Forbidden Fruit (Chapter 17: Red Lights)

It was the smell of smoke that woke you up first. Then the frantic chittering and trampling of undergrowth as various animals rushed passed your tree, squirrels, deer, and even wolves. They all ran towards the same direction, away from North, where you were originally headed. You were so confused by the sight that you failed to notice the red claws drawing nearer and nearer, rapidly consuming everything in its path.

It was only until you realized that they were running from something that you finally turned your head, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. Then it hit you. There had been no rain during your slumber, there was only the sound of thunder and the crackling of lighting. Of course. It hadn’t been a rainstorm. It had been an electrical storm. And you were in a forest, surrounded by tall trees. Shit.

Everything was on fire.

The flames licked at the treetops, quickly approaching your hideout.

Oh fuck! You leaped out of the branches, hitting the ground hard and sprinting away immediately, not wasting a single second. There was no time to contact Black, and even if you could, there was no way you would be able to concentrate on escaping the fire and talking to him at the same time. As if it couldn’t get any worse, a bolt of electricity split the tree not too far from you, and it burst aflame. You could feel some of the aftershock coursing through your body, but it passed eventually.

Focusing blurrily on the shapes running past you, you followed in their footsteps, hoping one of those massive canines wouldn’t become hungry.

A large force suddenly shoved you off your feet, causing you to crack your forehead against a boulder jutting from the green grass. Well, it wouldn’t be green for much longer. The air seemed to dim around you, and everything began to swirl and blend together. The smoke invaded your nose and crept through your lungs, where it nestled like a dark gray cat, mauling and biting at your insides.

Ignoring the pounding in your head and your fading vision, you grasped onto the trunk of a tree and tried to force yourself into a standing position, a hand clasped firmly over your gasping mouth.

Well, you had never been burned to death before, but you weren’t exactly eager to experience it firsthand. It seemed as if all the forces of nature were after you, first drowning, now burning. What was next, a goddamn tornado?!

When will I ever catch a break?! You thought irritably as a mouse jumped over your shoes.

Even after about two days of rest, your body was still recovering from your escape from the underground prison on the beach, and the lightning strike definitely didn’t help.

Oh Black, where are you?

That’s when you caught the sound of splintering trees followed by a deep bellow. You turned your head to be met with a massive elk, barreling through the fiery vegetation towards you, giving you a crazy idea. Stepping to the side to avoid being trampled, you waited until the colossal creature had galloped next to you before jumping and looping your arms around its neck, and holding on until it ran past another tree and pushing yourself off the trunk and onto the elk’s back.

It let out a snort but didn’t seem to be particularly interested in bucking you off, too busy trying to outrun death. Hopefully, it wouldn’t end up electrocuted, but it was the only plan you could come up with on the spot.

“Black!” You hollered as you bounced on the elk, trying to keep your head from spinning and throwing you off. “Black!”

It leaped clumsily over a fallen log and you were nearly sent flying, clutching onto its rough, thick fur for dear life.

Can’t I have one fucking day of peace?! You lamented silently. Life was constantly throwing curveballs at you as of late, more than the past decade combined; first, you had been trapped in that godforsaken torture cave, then the entire forest decided to set itself on fire, and then you got electrocuted and your getaway rested on a weakening elk that was beginning to stumble and huff.

If you had been able to fully recover all your energy, you would have been able to signal to Black with your chi, but you were still too weak.

Every time you turned your head, the fire crept closer and closer, until you were barely outrunning it by more than a couple meters. No matter how much you tried to spur on your ride, it had inhaled to much smoke just like you and it was wobbling badly on its spindly legs. The poor thing looked like it was about to pass out any minute, and then you’d both be goners. Trees began to fall as the fire consumed them, and the smoke was so thick you could barely see. Most of the animals seemed to have evacuated, though every now and then you would see a small critter or so lying dead, caught by the gaping maws of death.

A weak squeal suddenly caught your attention, coming from a bit farther up ahead and to your right. As you approached, you realized that it was a brown boar, a juvenile by the looks of it. Its hooves scratched at the dirt as it tried to free its foot from a hole underneath a twisted root, the noises getting softer and softer by the second, before it mournfully put its head down to accept its demise.

You looked down at the wheezing elk, white foam crusting its lips and water glazing its wide, frightened eyes. Your brows furrowed before giving its neck a quick pat, steeling yourself to jump off. It would be able to flee faster without your weight, and there was no point in you both dying. And perhaps you would be able to save the boar. You, out of everyone understood the fear of death, and there wasn’t any end much worse than burning to a crisp, alone and terrified.

Well, it’s always a good time to try something new, you managed to scoff dryly at your own joke. It’s not like I can die anyways.

Sprinting to the trapped animal, you began to furiously dig around its hoof, and it began its struggles began anew as the boar came to realize that it still had a chance at surviving. You ripped at the hard roots that curled around its leg, gritting your teeth against the pain as your flesh tore at the force. If you had been at full health you could have snapped them like ropes, but alas, there was no use wishing for something that wasn’t there. Next time you saw Zamasu, you’d shove his balls down his throat and then watch him choke on it.

“Just a little more,” You puffed, sweat dripping down your face. Your lungs were in agony, and your eyes felt just as bad. Everything hurt like Hell, but there was nothing you could do about it.

The first fingers of the flames began to lap at your sleeve, causing the boar to get even more hysterical and continue to fling dirt back at an accelerated pace.

Finally, you were able to wriggle its foot free and it sped off, leaving you covered in ashes and grime. Crawling away from the approaching flames, you didn’t even get a chance to catch your breath before pulling yourself to your feet and staggering away from a horrible roasting. Mind reeling, you could barely see over the torrent of tears the fire forced out of your eyes.

You were so focused on limping away that you didn’t notice the loud groan of a blackened tree, falling towards you. By the time you were able to realize something was wrong, it was too late.

It fell with a thud onto your back, completely crushing your legs and back under its weight. You didn’t even have the energy to scream anymore, the heat and smog had made you nearly delirious. The dead tree had paralyzed everything below your lower back, so at least there was no pain.

It almost felt nice not to feel anything anymore, though through your closing eyes everything was being swallowed by the fire and being painted red or black. How you had come to hate the color red.

Black…..You managed to whisper weakly inside your rapidly failing consciousness. Black….please help….me….Look for…..red lights….

The last thing you saw was the cloudless open night sky as the trees fell around you and two dark shapes began closing in on you, one with familiar black tufts and the other with light blue hair, unable to hear their voices as they cried for you.

Attack on Titan Short Story Collection: Fireworks

"Alright you brats!" Captain Levi shouted over all the commotion of the gathered recruits. "We'll be trying some different training today." A dangerous smirk crossed his features, and Erwin stalked up behind him, holding a large bag. All the teenagers gulped when they saw the expression on the short man's face.

Soldiers who were lucky enough to not be dragged into this special training snickered to each other from behind the windows of the surrounding buildings, and it seemed as if everyone except the people involved, namely Eren and the others from the 104th Cadet Core, seemed to know what was going on.

"Hey guys," Jean whispered uneasily. "Why does the Captain look so happy?"

"I don't know, but it's creeping me out," Connie responded, shivering in anticipation. The last time Captain Levi had smiled was when there had been a sale on cleaning supplies in town two months ago, and he hadn't smiled since.

It wasn't exactly a smile to say, it was more of a look that would anyone know that they were completely and utterly screwed.

"Ymir, I'm scared," Christa cried, latching onto her friend.

The brunette seemed mostly unfazed, though she did look somewhat uneasy. "What I'm more concerned with is why Commander Erwin told us to wear our shabbiest casual clothing that we wouldn't mind discarding. I thought we were training."

"What's that short stack planning?" Mikasa growled, narrowing her dark eyes at him.

The new recruits were gathered in the courtyard in front of the castle, apparently preparing for some sort of new exercise. Under the intense stares of their superiors, they huddled together like a bunch of terrified lambs.

Suddenly, the doors burst forth and the eccentric scientist leaped out, waving around a lighter and drawing out a wave of murmurs from the spectators.

"They're dead meat," Eld commented, the rest of Levi Squad nodding in the background.

"Levi!" She pranced over to the Captain and Commander, who dipped their heads together and shielded whatever they had in their hands from view. The occasional giggle from Hange could be heard, and the teenagers could only wait anxiously for a few minutes before they ended their conversation.

"So," Levi said, turning around to face them. "I've noticed that the majority of you idiots don't know how to dodge properly during training." He looked pointedly to Eren, who yesterday had gotten sent to the infirmary from getting smacked by a fake Titan cutout when they were practicing in the forest.

Swallowing down his fear, the Titan-shifter struggled not to look away as he was pierced by steely gray eyes. He could feel them boring a hole into his soul, causing sweat to drip down face almost enough to rival Bertholdt.

"Thanks, loser." Jean muttered, shooting a glare at the brown-haired boy, who turned to glower back.

"That's why," Levi continued, snapping the two teenagers from their staring match, "We've come up with an alternate exercise to test your abilities."

Turning to look behind him, Eren could see Mike and Moblit each holding the ends of a long rope, walking away from each other and pulling it taunt once they had reached the side of two buildings. Now the recruits were trapped inside the rope-boundary and between the buildings, along with a very intimidating Captain who seemed to eat up their fear.

Erwin dug his hand into the large brown bag he was cradling, slowly drawing out a long, thin cylinder object with a stick protruding from one end.

Is that really what I think it is? Reiner stared in disbelief, and Bertholdt visibly began sweating. Even Sasha had stopped eating a piece of bread she snuck out to stare at the object in the Commander's hand, a visible look of confusion and realization flashing across her face.

At that moment, everyone had a vague suspicion about what was about to go down, but they all prayed to the walls that it wasn't going to happen. Unfortunately, they had no such luck.

"There was a sale on fireworks!" Hange declared gleefully, her eyes gleaming crazily. "So we decided that we should change things up a bit! Make life more interesting, ya know?"

"Since normally you have no incentive to do well during training, how about this? There are five hundred of these fireworks, and I'm not gonna stop until every last one has been used. And by the way, these things hurt like Hell so I don't recommend being hit." Levi warned. "And don't cross the line, or you'll have me to deal with."

Whimpers of fear emitted from them, the other Scouts watching in pity and amusement.

"We're so dead," Eren moaned, giving up all hope of survival.

"And another thing," Levi continued, tossing one of the fireworks up and catching it, the teenagers flinching at the audible smack it made as it met his palm. "I never miss."

"Begin!" Erwin yelled, handing a bundle of twenty-five to Hange, who quickly lit them and passed to Levi. Shrieking, the soldiers all scattered, Jean and Connie sprinting to a tree where they were promptly forced away by senior squad leaders positioned behind the trunk.

"Stay out in the open!"

Finding no other shelter, Christa and Ymir darted behind Reiner and Bertholdt, the largest of all the recruits and who had collective looks of terror on their faces.

"Hey I'm not a meat shield Ymir!" Reiner protested.

"I don't care just protect my Christa with that fat body of yours!" She screamed back, covering the smaller, blonde girl with her arms.

"Fine! And I'm not fat!"

"Is this really the time Reiner?!" Bertholdt wailed as a yellow rocket narrowly whizzed by his face, which he barely managed to avoid.

"I don't think clumping together is gonna help!" Someone hollered from the windows, drawing Levi's attention towards them.

"Oh shit! Scatter!" Reiner howled as seven fireworks were aimed at them. He dove to the side just in time as they flew by where his head had previously been. But it just so happened that Jean was running past behind them, and one of the fireworks rammed into his crotch, where he collapsed screeching in pain.

"Oh God why?!"

Levi focused his attention on another group, the three from Shiganshia. Armin was standing next to Eren and Mikasa, who were in a heated debate about something. Armin, seeing the packet of fireworks being pointed towards them, tugged desperately at Eren sleeve, only to be ignored.

"Eren!" He shook his shoulders desperately, finally getting pulling him away from his argument.

"What?!" Eren whirled around just as two blazing red rockets propelled into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him and searing a hole in his clothes.

"Eren!" Mikasa screamed, dodging a blue one that flew past her face.

Another one hit Armin in the chest, and he too was blown off his feet.

"What is this cynical Hell?!" Connie squealed as a green firework sped past his nose. He wasn't so lucky with the next one though, as it hit him straight in the backside as he was turning around.

"AAAHHHHH!" He hit the ground hard, rolling around in the grass to smother the dying embers.

"Don't touch my bread!" Sasha squawked, jumping over a firework and accidentally shoving two other recruits to the ground. "Oh shoot my bad-"

The freshly-baked food disappeared from her hands as she looked the other way.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" She doubled over sobbing and crawled over to her now badly seared piece of bread, desperately attempting to salvage what was left of it.

"Sasha don't!" Reiner rushed over to try to pry it out of her mouth, bending over and giving Captain Levi the perfect target.

I'll teach you to be so tall, Levi thought jealously as the rocket found its target, a straight bullseye into the six-foot boy's ass.

"OW!" He fell over Sasha, batting out the fire from his singed pants, which fell away to reveal his light blue boxers now turned gray.

I knew the Survey Corps was a bad idea, Bertholdt thought to himself as Levi turned to him, the most obvious target as the tallest in the courtyard, excluding Mike who was observing silently behind the corner of the building and thanking the Walls that he wasn't a recruit anymore. The smoke was annoying his nose quite a bit, but it wasn't every day that you got to watch Humanities' Strongest (And shortest) shoot fireworks at a bunch of terrified teenagers. But to be fair, who wouldn't be?

"Hey Titan," Levi aimed at Bertholdt, who visibly paled and shrunk.

Oh crap does he know-

His train of thought was interrupted as two rockets hit him in the temple and another three hit him in the pelvis, knocking him clean off his feet.

"Only one hundred left!" Erwin bellowed over the chaos; kids were bumping into each other and tumbling down with a firework or few lodged in their clothes. The blue-eyed man whipped out the last one hundred, which looked petrifying. They were twice the size of the regular ones Levi had been shooting, and the ends were in the shapes of sharp points.

"If you can't handle this, you'll never be able to beat the Titans!" Levi began chucking them as they launched, making them twice as fast and hit much harder, and if they thought that the old ones hurt, it was nothing compared to the agony of being hit by one of these monstrosities. The Scouts cringed from the window, smoke rising in the air and assaulting their nostrils.

"Join the Survey Corps they said!" Connie squalled, his pants aflame. "It'll be fun they said!" He ran into Bertholdt, who had just gotten up, catching his clothes on fire too.

"Connie! Bertholdt!" Armin dashed towards them, only to be tripped as Levi hurled one at his feet, and it began exploding in a shower of colorful sparks and loud booms.

"Oh yeah! I forgot we had those!" Hange whooped, shaking Levi just as he released another one, which flew towards the building to his left. Olou and Gunther jumped back from the window just in time as it blew into a thousand sparks, knocking back into Petra and Eld and the Levi Squad all fell unceremoniously into a pile on the floor.

"Don't touch me shitty glasses!" Levi snarled. "Or I'll shove one of these things down your damn throat!"

Laughing, Hange danced out of reach and went to hide behind Erwin. Rolling his eyes, he went back to demolishing the recruits. He could always deal with her any other day, but it's not every day you get to play dodgeball with fireworks. Well, one-sided dodgeball.

"You couldn't tell us earlier they exploded?!" Eren roared, immediately regretting it as Levi started directing all his strength towards knocking the angry teenager down.

"Augh!" One skimmed the top of his head as he evaded a firework at the last second.

"Last one!" Erwin declared, bringing something out from behind his back. It looked like an actual bomb.

"You're going to throw a bomb at us?!"

"Of course not," The Commander chuckled, handing it to Levi. "He is. Once it explodes, there's a coin inside. Whoever catches that coin will be excused from their chores for a week."

"WHAT?!" The effect was instantaneous. Everyone scrambled up, looking fixedly at the object in Levi's hand. He waved it from side to side and they all followed.

"Tch, brats." Tensing up his muscles, he heaved it into the sky where it disappeared from view.

"Get ready!"

It came back down, combusting into pieces fifty feet above their heads. A glint of gold could be seen flying towards them, and they bolted after it.

The coin whistled through the air towards the two superiors, and a stampede of feet followed after them. They were so entranced that they bulldozed right into Erwin and Levi, the latter who was swept up in a tidal wave of bodies. All the Scouts held their breaths as everyone toppled into one big heap on the grass, Levi and Erwin at the very bottom. The entire clearing was silent.

Then, a very pissed off "Get the fuck off me!" could be heard from beneath the recruits, and people rushed to get off spewing apologies and begging for their lives.

"Who got the coin?"

"I'm so sorry!"

"Please don't kill me!"

"Where is it?"

"Get off of him!"

"HEY!" Reiner shouted over the noise, and everyone quieted down a bit. "Who's got the coin?"

He was met with empty stares as everyone swiveled their heads to look at each other and holding up their coinless hands.

"I don't have it."

"Me neither."

"Same."

"Then who the Hell has it?" Jean demanded, glowering.

"I do." A low baritone rumbled, and everyone's hopes and dreams for a relaxing week was plummeted into the darkest recesses of their minds.

Levi held up the coin, smirking triumphantly. A chorus of sighs and complaints erupted.

"Is that even allowed Commander?"

"This has got to be a joke!"

"But he likes chores!"

"Come on!"

Connie and Sasha looked like they were on the verge of tears, and no one appeared much better. Soot and dirt covered their bodies from head to toe, and the majority of their clothes contained blackened holes. Bertholdt had fallen into a horse trough, leaving the gentle giant completely drenched. Christa and Ymir were covered head to toe in mud, and even Mikasa wasn't able to leave unscathed.

"Well I didn't say who was qualified to catch it." Erwin smiled apologetically.

"If you all want it that badly, you're free to fight me for it. If you win, you can have it." Levi flipped the coin in his hand, glaring challengingly at the teenagers surrounding him. "And if one of you brats really can beat me, then I'll extend it to a month."

They all looked at each other, weighing their options. He had to be tired from firing all those rockets, right? Right?

"C-can we fight in doubles?" Armin asked meekly.

"Whatever, sure."

"Mikasa?"

"No thanks," She shook her head. "I don't feel like it and I don't mind the chores that much." The truth was, one of the fireworks had ripped the waistband of her pants, and she didn't really want to fight singlehanded while the other held up her clothes.

"Reiner?"

He seemed to contemplate it for a second, before saying, "Only if someone else fights with me."

"Bertholdt! You were third in the entire 104th!" Connie urged, nudging the quiet boy.

"What?! No thanks! Uh, Eren why don't you? You were one of the best at hand-to-hand combat!"

"Um...."

"Come on! At least try!" Ymir encouraged, though she only wanted to see him get his ass kicked.

Flashbacks of the courtroom flew through Eren's mind, before he was rudely interrupted.

"Are we doing this or not? I don't have all damn day!" Levi spat, crossing his arms. Everyone stared at him expectantly, and he knew if he didn't do it Jean would mock him for the rest of eternity.

Swallowing, Eren finally agreed, though he would rather face a Titan emptyhanded. "Fine! I'll do it! Reiner! Let's go!"

"I've gotta see this!" Hange darted out, followed by other excited Survey Corps members.

"Alright then I guess-" Reiner hit the floor so fast that no one even saw Levi move. Everyone backed up a few steps, leaving Eren the only one within twenty feet of the world's strongest man.

"Um i-is it too late to back out now? Captain?" Eren, cowered back, preparing to have every bone in his body shattered and rearranged.

"Yes, brat."

From that day forth, there was an Eren-shaped dent next to the pavement, a grim reminder to humanity to not mess with the Captain scarier than Titans.

Not Really Katsumi

Retsu hasn’t really met many other Kaioh’s in his lifetime, as most of them remained in China while he bounced back and forth between Bailin Temple and the ShinShinKai in Japan. Therefore he was more than surprised when he saw Katsumi standing in the hallway with the famous Poison Hand User, Li Kaioh.

When did he fly to China? And how did he lose that much weight?

“Katsumi?”

He halted in his tracks, staring confusedly at the back of his head from the distance until Li Kaioh awkwardly cleared his throat and whispered something in Chinese to the other man.

Strange. When did Katsumi learn Chinese?

“Retsu! There you are, I had something to discuss with you!” Baki sprinted up to him with a tired smile on his face, effectively drawing his attention away from the pair. “Oh, hey Katsumi. Talk to you later!” The scrawny teenager waved and pulled Retsu away, missing the moment when “Katsumi” turned around.

“Who were they talking to?” Han Kaioh asked his brother, who could only shake his head with a puzzled look on his face. “Does ‘Katsumi’ mean something in Japanese?”

“No idea. Perhaps they were calling you ugly.”

“Mm, unlikely unless it was directed at you dear brother. Even if you are the younger one you still look a decade older,” he laughed lightly at the expression on Li’s face as a tick popped out on his forehead. It would be quite unfortunate if he got poisoned tonight, wouldn’t it?

“Oh don’t look at me like that brother, I was just kidding. Kind of. Hm, not really. Seriously though, what is a ‘Katsumi’?”

***

It wasn’t until later that they were in the same room did Retsu finally get a good look at who he had originally assumed was the thick-set karate practitioner from the ShinShinKai, though the only distinguishing features were probably his thinner eyebrows and leaner body. Everything about Katsumi Orochi was large, from his boulder of a fist to his non-existent waist, courtesy of a heavily muscled and wide torso. The man was honestly built like a goddamn tree trunk.

Even with all the differences (all two differences), he still heavily resembled Katsumi, and Retsu was subtly wondering how to get a picture of him to show his friend when he got back.

“Brother, Retsu Kaioh is staring at you again,” Li Kaioh glanced over shoulder, catching his eye and quickly looking away. It began to dawn on Retsu that he may be looking like a creep with his constant staring, and it didn’t help that when he first tried to talk to him the first words out of his mouth were in Japanese. All because he looked so much like goddamn Katsumi.

“Just don’t make eye contact Li,” Han sighed. “I hope I don’t have to fight him later. Mixing crazy with genius never ends up well.”

Muscle Heads: Ohma x Raian

Chapter 1: Shut up, Raian

“Oi brat, wake up.” A large fist rapped on the Japanese-styled door separating the man and his neighbor; the occupant still fast asleep on the other side. He waited impatiently for a few seconds before knocking again.

“Hey,” Ohma Tokita raised his voice this time, eye twitching slightly as the sound of Kure Raian’s intense snoring somehow increased in volume.

Noisy idiot.

It was the middle of the night, the only light illuminating the room was thin, slivers of silver moonshine slipping through the curtains. The lithe fighter had about all he could take from his neighbor’s incessant snoring, if it could even be called that. It sounded like a motor engine malfunctioning, dying down every now and again only to suddenly start back up. Raian woke him up three times already, three times in the last five hours, and at this point he was on the verge of throttling him in his sleep. 

As expected, Raian wasn’t exactly the quietest roommate, but it wasn’t exactly like he had much of a choice. The main Kure mansion was mostly full, with the only room left at the end of this hallway a joint room next to Raian. Ohma could guess why his room was the only one unoccupied. Raian, the troublemaker that he was, liked to train late at night, meaning midnight or after, and oftentimes Ohma could hear him smashing something at one in the damn morning, a peal of his familiar cackling laugh piercing his peaceful slumber. For the sake of the old man Erioh who let him live there without rent, he grit his teeth and bore with it. And boy was it hard sometimes.

There’s free food here, Ohma reminded himself. Free food and all the strong fighters anyone could wish for. 

The first day he had moved in after his surgery he had found Raian squatting and looming over him at three a.m., staring down at him with a silent, toothy grin on his face right next to his futon. Ohma never thought there would be anyone weirder than Kiryu Setsuna until then, and in a sleepy haze he threw a sloppy punch that Raian easily dodged. And then that fucker proceeded to jump out his window. In his defense, Ohma was still a bit woozy from the medication for his heart and wasn’t expecting Raian of all people to break into his room, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have missed his target. Karla he had expected, which was why he made sure everything was locked down before he went to bed. But somehow Raian had managed to get through the locks without a sound and then proceeded to leer at him like a stalker.

Regardless, Ohma had grown accustomed to his weird habits as he himself was not exactly normal. But these past two days Raian had begun snoring loudly and constantly, and he was at the end of his rope. Or else he wouldn’t be standing in front of the backdoor, freezing in the chilly winter night in nothing but his boxers.

Damn, Ohma growled as Raian let out a particularly loud rumble, opting to just break the lock and deal with him before he was sentenced to another sleepless night. 

The bolt snapped easily under the pressure of his hand, the door creaking softly as he slid it open, revealing Raian spread-eagle on his back in the middle of the room. Somehow the demon Kure had migrated from his bed to the floor during the night without waking up, mouth parted and drooling.

The wool blankets were strewn around him, tangled around his powerful legs and barely covering what Ohma assumed was his naked groin.

Really? During the winter? Ohma sighed.

He let out an irritated huff and padded towards the younger fighter, nearly tripping over multiple items thrown haphazardly on the floor. Nudging him with his foot, Raian just snorted and rolled over to the other side letting out a string of curses under his breath. Several prods later and he was still snoring soundly, and Ohma subtly wondered how he hadn’t been murdered in his sleep yet. The Kures had a lot of enemies, and he was sure Raian had even more than the average clan member.

“Hey wake up,” Ohma stooped down and shook his shoulders hard, finally waking up the resting boulder.

Apparently Raian wasn’t used to being woken up in the middle of the night, immediately lurching forward and pushing Ohma to the ground with a snarl. “What the fuck do you want bitch?”

“For you to stop snoring, moron,” Ohma squeezed the wrists that were holding him down, eye blazing and rearing for a fight.

“Oh yeah?” Raian taunted with a wide smirk on his face, applying more pressure to his grip and drawing out a growl.

Pulling his leg back, Ohma rammed it into Raian’s stomach and threw him across the room, sending slight tremors through the walls of the house from the force of his kick. It was a miracle none of the other Kures were woken by the racket, but then they were probably already used to whatever unholy sounds came from Raian’s room at night.

Barely fazed, said Kure lunged forward and met him halfway, locking hands and wrestling each other to the carpet with an audible crash.

They rolled across the floor, knocking over any furniture in the way and spitting insults that would make any sailor blush. Normally Ohma was relatively immune to threats and curses, but something about Raian made his temper short-circuit sometimes. Perhaps listening to him “snore” that loudly for over a week had done it.

Eventually, Raian was able to get the upper hand on Ohma, hard knees digging into his waist as he rocked his weight back on the other man’s thighs. His body weight kept him pressed down on the ground, though Ohma could have easily broken free. 

But he was feeling generous (tired) today.

Ohma was almost tempted to smack the sneer off his face, but he knew that would just escalate the fight. Honestly he was surprised the whole place hasn’t been demolished-excluding the fist-sized holes in the plaster-and waking up the entire neighborhood wasn’t exactly on his to-do list.

Just bear with it for now, Ohma thought grumpily. I’ll slap the shit outta him in the morning. Just you wait kid.

He had completely forgotten about Raian’s state of undress until he glanced down, suddenly bucking up his hips and trying to push him off. It wasn’t like Ohma cared much about nakedness, but he’d much rather not have a grown man sitting on his dick when he was only in his boxers. Especially not Kure Raian, who was fully naked like the weirdo he was.

“Get off and put some pants on dipshit!”

Raian’s grin grew impossibly wider and he stuck out his tongue, forcing Ohma back down with his ass. “What, does it bother you or something, you perverted fuck?” With a harsh bark of laughter he roughly ground down on Ohma making him hiss.

“Son of a bitch!” Ohma swore noisily and redoubled his efforts to escape, whipping his head back and forth. This was giving him serious flashbacks to Imai Cosmo. Except back then his adversary was thankfully clothed.

“Uncomfortable? Or just excited to see me?” Raian thrust his face close, making Ohma bang his head on the ground with a solid thump to avoid being headbutted.

“Motherfucker,” Ohma grunted and turned his head to the side, too tired to deal with his bullshit anymore. His eyelids felt heavy, he had barely slept the last two days after all, and training over eight hours a day definitely didn’t help.

For a moment the only sound in the room was their panting, and neither men moved. 

“Going to sleep already?” Raian’s breath was hot on his face, so close that Ohma could smell the scent of the udon he had for dinner mingled with a faint trace of sweat and cologne.

Cologne? Since when did Raian wear cologne?

“Back off, your breath stinks,” Ohma groaned and held a hand between them.

“Oh yeah, you fuck? How about a closer whiff?” Raian cackled.

“For fuck’s sake-” The rest of his sentence was abruptly cut short as Raian surged forward to collide their lips together, or at least tried to. A jolt of pain shot through Ohma’s mouth as their teeth clashed, the familiar metallic tang of blood on his tongue.

Raian latched onto his bottom lip with his teeth, biting down hard as Ohma moaned in pain. Grabbing his shoulders, Ohma tried once again to push him off, but Raian had his biceps in a vice grip and neither fighter was budging.

Fine then, if he wanted to play rough then so be it. 

Snarling, Ohma shifted his weight onto one side and rolled Raian under him with all his strength, placing him on top this time. It shocked the Kure enough to let him go-finally, he was about to chew through his lip, and damned if he had to answer questions the next morning.

“You mothefucker! You call that a damn kiss fucking brat?!” Ohma roared, blood spilling from his cut and dripping down his chin, where it splattered in crimson pools all over Raian’s chest.

“What, like you can do better you dumb virgin fuck!” He flung his head forward again, but this time Ohma was one step ahead of him and got there first, trying to force his tongue in his mouth.

The ensuing battle for dominance was nothing short of a gross mess with an excessive amount of spit and blood, but as Kengan fighters it was nothing compared to the battles they’ve experienced. As expected, neither gave an inch, at least not until Raian suddenly grabbed a fistful of his seaweed hair and gave it a vicious tug, strong enough to pull out a clump of dark brown strands.

“Fuck!” Using the opportunity to slip into his opponent’s mouth, Raian’s victory was short-lived as Ohma took the chance to exact retribution by sinking his teeth deep into his tongue. Huffing through his nose, Raian saw red as Ohma bit down even harder. 

Sharp stabs of pain shot through Ohma’s back as Raian dug his fingers hard into his muscles, which Ohma returned by jabbing as hard as he could into his bulging biceps.

White hot agony exploded behind Ohma’s eyes as the delinquent rammed a knee into his groin and his legs gave out, his forehead bashing against Raian’s upper lip. 

“That...was for the fucking tournament…” Raian wheezed between breaths, chest heaving with the other man still laying on top.

“Shut up...Raian…” Eyes shut tightly, Ohma could feel himself drifting away in the darkness, too tired to even bother getting off of him.

“...You weigh...like a goddamn truck.”

“Shitty brat,” Ohma’s voice was barely audible and he didn’t respond to the poke in his ribs that would have normally pissed him off. There was the soft sound of rustling as Raian shifted underneath him before falling still, hand relaxing on his shoulder.

Giving up trying to fight back the darkness threatening to engulf him, he let the sound of Raian’s quieting pants and warm body lull him to an easy, dreamless sleep. He could always beat him in the morning, after all. 

There was no more snoring for the rest of the night.

***

“What the hell?” In the doorway stood Kure Hollis and Reiichi, who were sent to find them after neither man showed up to breakfast.

“Should we wake them up?” Reiichi whispered. Raian twitched from his position on the ground, face scrunching momentarily but didn’t wake. 

“No, I don’t want to deal with waking up that devil Raian in the morning.”

“Why are they covered in blood? And why is he naked?”

“I don’t know, but don’t tell Karla.” Hollis sighed.

“Don’t tell me what?” Speak of the devil, and she shall arrive.

“Oh fuck.”

Goku Black x Reader: Forbidden Fruit (Chapter 22: Back Again)

You had thought Black was inexhaustible before then, but nothing could have prepared you for that night. He seemed far too eager to strain your limits, making love to you throughout most of the late night and into the early morning until you nearly collapsed in exhaustion. By then, the darkness began to ease its hold and streaks of dull orange began to creep through the cool, dawn sky. You barely managed to muster the strength to drag your weary body next to Black’s against the cool moss, covered in love bites and bruises from your excursion. Eyes drooping, you had only managed to nuzzle your head under his chin before promptly dozing off against his side, not conscious of him affectionately curling a firm arm around your shoulders. There was no doubt that you wouldn’t be able to walk properly the next morning, even with your accelerated healing capabilities.

Smirking silently to himself, Black allowed his awareness to slowly dissolve into a serene nothingness. The ritual had been successful; he could no longer sense your chi. No longer would he have to hate himself for giving in to a mortal.

He scowled at that wretched word, not realizing he had begun squeezing you too tightly until he heard you whimper in pain. His grip loosened immediately and he stroked your arm apologetically, gazing lovingly into your face.

Never in his entire life had he expected something like this. All he had ever known was violence and servitude, and he had been content to trek the long road alone. Murder didn’t bother him, not with how much he had seen previously as a Kai. Yet the humans cried out against him unaware of their own hypocrisy. The strong dominated the weak, as were the laws of nature. And there was no one stronger than him.

Therefore it was his right to take back what was so deservingly his.

Zamasu, however, was a welcome addition, if he could even be considered that. Moreso than that, he was part of him, figuratively and literally. Finally, someone who completely and utterly understood him. That was why he needed him. Someone to share in the glory of godhood, someone who knew exactly what was going on in his brain.

And everything had gone stellarly according to plan. That was until you had come along and threw everything off its axis. He wanted to hate you, to kill you and rid of you the same way one would rid themselves of a pesky tick, but he just couldn’t. Son Goku’s blood ran too strongly through his veins.

Zamasu still hated you, Black knew.

They were essentially the same being, yet their paths had diverged so drastically.

He had never expected you.

Black had always thought that he and Zamasu would be the only two left in the empty universe, reigning supreme as the only Gods.

And now, you belonged to him and only him, and would be until the end of time, just as it was always meant to be. You would have to leave the cave eventually, but for now, it was time to sleep.

You woke to the sound of shuffling clothes a few hours later, missing the warmth of the solid body next to you. Opening your eyes, you were greeted by the sight of the Saiyan’s muscular back as he pulled on his black shirt.

“Come on, we have to get going,” Black said without even turning around to look at you. “ I have to reunite with my partner.”

“He’s not going to try to kill me again, right?” There was a twinge of unease at the mention of the white-haired Kai; you still didn’t trust him completely and you weren’t exactly keen on seeing him again.

“I doubt he’d try if I’m around,” Black reassured, but the word “doubt” continued to echo through your ears. And it wasn’t like he could stay with you all the time, right? God knows what the Kai would do if he wasn’t around, and you sure as hell didn’t want to find out. What if he decided that he no longer needed either of you if they really did end up eliminating all mortals and went back on his word?

“Hey,” Black snapped you out of your trance, glancing at you with a knowing look. “Don’t worry about it.” The way he said it left no room for discussion, and you were left to hope that it was true.

“Okay, let’s just go,” you murmured, and Black almost felt bad for dismissing you. But he had other things to worry about. Even now, he needed to complete his mission, just as much as he needed you. No matter how much he loved you, or claimed to, he couldn’t just abandon his ambition.

Grabbing you around your waist, he lifted off into the sky, head figuratively and literally in the clouds, while you clutched at his gray gi as the ground flashed by in a haze. The journey was long, but it could never be long enough for you. Black could feel your hesitance, rubbing soothing circles upon your back as you cuddled closer for warmth.

After what felt like hours, you were nudged awake as Black touched down weightlessly on a familiar wooden deck. Another wave of nausea washed over you at the thought of the green goblin. As if sensing your unease, the hand around your shoulders tightened as he guided you towards the door.

It creaked deafeningly loud in the tranquility of the forest, revealing a darkened cabin interior.  

Silence.

You gazed around the room, staring fugitively at the sparse furnishing looking for the telltale shock of bright white hair. The kitchen and hallways were clear. Shadows crept up every plane and shrouded the furniture in darkness.

Then you saw him.

Or at least part of him. He was sitting on the gray couch, facing away from the two of you. He gave no indication that he had heard the soft padding of your combined footsteps on the floor.

Inadvertently, you shrunk into Black as he steered you forward.

“Zama-”

Black wasn’t able to finish the rest of the sentence as a glowing chi bomb blasted the two of you backwards. The heat engulfed your entire body in a fire so intense it felt as if it were infiltrating every pore in your being.

You didn’t even have time to make a sound as you were thrown into the forest, leaving a dirt trail in the grass as more explosions rocked the earth. Ears ringing, you could barely make out the blurry image of the cabin that was now missing most of its South side.

Two figures off in the distance shot out from a barely-intact roof and flew towards each other at light speed.

Vaguely, you could hear the sound of shouts and more explosions, but your body wasn’t cooperating with you as you tried to scream for Black.

Sighing in defeat, all you could do was drop your head back and wait for your scattered senses to return, eventually drifting off to a welcome slumber.

Meanwhile, things were not going so smoothly for Zamasu and Black as they battled.

“Why are you so stubborn to disagree with me? She’s no longer mortal!” Black spat, dodging a swipe from his other self.

“That’s not the problem! You cannot dress a sheep up as a wolf and pretend it is a wolf! It is destined to eat, shit, and think like prey no matter what form it takes! It was enough to turn her into a God, but I don’t want to be anywhere near that abomination! You made no mention of keeping her in my presence!”

“That is impossible! I require her assistance!”

“Assistance?” Zamasu scoffed, venom in his voice. “To fill your mortal urges? How vile.”

Black looked affronted, quickly parlaying another blow as Zamasu continued to charge at him. “That is not the only reason, don’t you dare imply that I am anything close to those animals!”

“Then why?” Zamasu roared, coming to a halt midair.

“Because she is part of my destiny! She is the last remnants of my conquest of this blasted race, and the harbinger of our new future!” It was only a half-truth that seemed almost false as it left his mouth, and Black himself wasn’t sure if he himself believed it.

But he was unwilling to expose so much of himself to his partner, especially when it was clear that Zamasu disapproved.

Black almost laughed at the irony of it all.

But it didn’t matter to him anymore as long as they completed what they had worked so hard to achieve.

“Look,” Black held up a mediating hand. “She is insignificant to the eradication of mortals, which is what we need to complete right now. I’ll try to keep her away from you, but she is mine. You don’t need to talk to her or even look at her.”

The green Kai sneered, seeming to contemplate Black’s proposal.

Finally with a huff, Zamasu agreed. “And she won’t get in the way of the Zero Mortal Plan in any way, is that clear? If she does anything to jeopardize it I’ll lock her in a place where even you can’t find and make her suffer for the rest of eternity.”

“Fine.” Black held out his hand, which Zamasu reluctantly clasped.

“Just keep her the hell away from me. Now help me fix the damn cabin.”

Black was tempted to roll his eyes but followed obediently behind him as he landed on the deck.

Now was not the time to start another quarrel, he would just have to try to pacify Zamasu as much as he could before gathering you back into his arms.

He stared off in the direction that you had been tossed to before turning back as Zamasu made a noise of annoyance.

Confusion flooded your senses as you finally came to, eyes opening to a leafy canopy without Goku Black by your side.

In a moment, everything flooded back and you groaned, pressing your palms to your eyes.

Well, there goes that for making peace with Zamasu. You were really getting sick of getting thrown around like a sack of potatoes every time that idiot got angry.

Your body still ached slightly from the blast, but it was manageable.

And it was all because of that stupid sack of shit.

It’s not like you were happy with the arrangement either, you thought angrily. Your head pulsed painfully at the thought of him.

Who the hell wants to live with a guy who tries to murder them at every possible instance?

But it was all for Black, you reminded yourself.

No, not just for him but also for you.

Even now, the human part of you reared its ugly head. It was selfish and cruel, and you knew you would eventually be forced to lose what little you had left. Either Son Goku and Trunks defeated Black and reclaimed their universe, or he and Zamasu will destroy everything leaving you utterly alone with two murderous Gods.

Even then, you still loved him.

Hot tears welled up in your eyes and the pressure began to mount like an erupting volcano inside your breast.

And as you lay there all you could do was weep for everything you had lost and loved, and everything you have and would become.

By the time you had made the trek back to the cabin, darkness had coated the sky with cold, twinkling stars.

Cursing slightly, you climbed up the long ladder on one side of the newly renovated residence, noticing the telltale dark, spiky hair in the well-lit living room. Like Zamasu had been earlier, he was reclining against the couch seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

Carefully, you cracked open the door and tried to walk inconspicuously behind him.

If Black heard you enter he gave no sign, barely sneaking you a glance as you took in your surroundings.

He could tell you had been crying from your puffy, red eyes but didn’t push the subject.

He was still exhausted from today’s events; he had added a whole new section to the cabin just for you and still had to listen to Zamasu’s complaints the entire time. (Zamasu hadn’t helped, not to his surprise.)

Not to mention the scuffle earlier had left him slightly battered (though he’d never admit it). Luckily for him, he was the one who had inherited the greater combat skills thanks to a certain Saiyan, so the damage was only minimal.

Black watched disinterestedly as you trudged to your new room, furnished with whatever he was able to scavenge from the abandoned cities. He stared as you made a beeline straight into the darkness without turning on the lights, hearing the gentle squeal of the mattress from behind the closed door as you landed face first into it without bothering to undress.

Subtly, he wondered if he should pursue you but decided against it, opting to just pass out right then and there on the couch.

Tomorrow’s problems could be dealt with by tomorrow’s self.