Yeah Yknow What Time It Is Gimme Some Chaotic Valentine Headcanons For THE SANZU PLS

<33

Yeah y’know what time it is gimme some chaotic valentine headcanons for THE SANZU PLS 🌸✨

╽ ▸ ᵧₒᵤ’ᵣₑ ₗᵢₛₜₑₙᵢₙ𝑔 ₜₒ ◂ ╿

『 -ˏˋ𝙑𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙚’𝙨 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙯𝙪 ˊˎ 』

════ ════

Host Note: Ngl I think Sanzu is the kind of guy to either to go all out for you or totally forget, but writing about nothing isn’t fun so here ya go. I also rushed the end cause I couldn’t find what I wanted to say, but I still think it works 😋.

╒══════════════════╕

♡ This guy showed up late to pick you up but not empty-handed. He came bearing the classics; flowers,chocolates [- you checked if they were laced before eating -] and a stuffed animal, but this guy doesn’t even remember where he left it.

♡ On the way to wherever he has planned he’s compiled enough songs to serenade you with all the way, apparently Sanzu’s a good singer [- said no one EVER -] so good luck with that.

♡ Finally arriving to the place [- bless the heavens -] and it’s a nice restaurant with a rooftop bar for VIPs, inside there were tanks with all sorts of exotic fish and sea life. But that’s not all, if you pay enough, you get seated at the booth where they cook right in front of you which was for Sanzu’s pleasure and yours too.

♡ While eating Sanzu was kissing all up in your hand and arm happy that you were enjoying time with him, while you were happy Sanzu wasn’t finding any chance to shove drugs down his gullet. After a hour or two of good food and company [- I feel like he eats slower when sober -] you both made your way to the roof to clink glasses and drink the night away.

♡ After getting piss drunk and wobbling your ways back to your home [- somehow getting there anyway -] you both were still buzzing from the night and all the alcohol. Crashing inside while sucking each other’s faces off and shuffling up the stairs to the bedroom for the grand closing for your Valentines.✨✨

╘══════════════════╛

This>>

I have a personal headcanon that Zhongli and Venti have something kind of similar to a period every month for a week where there's no blood but they get so very horny and it's only during this small window of time that they produce actual sperm and not the god equivalent. (Don't know if that makes sense.)

Like I like to believe the male archons create something akin to sperm naturally but it can't produce children until that week of every month.

But of course Venti and Zhongli handle it very differently.

Zhongli doesn't leave the house and the first time he goes through it when the two of you start dating he just spends all day cooking and tidying up the house. You don't even realize he's been aroused all day till you settle in next to him and feel just how hard he is against your back. He'll admit to it then because he has no choice but he's spent six thousand years dealing with this so he wasn't about to force you to take care of him now. He does let you though if you insist. During this time he's far more vocal and a little rougher. Once the week is up he promises he'll teach you everything you need to know to prepare for his future cycles.

Venti's a mess. Poor thing starts that Monday off rutting up against you. He's like a rabbit humping the sheets and touching himself constantly. He cums so easily too from any of your touches. He calms down a little at night but when morning comes he's back up and needy. Once his cycles up he spends a day sleeping but he promises he'll calm down next time. He probably won't but he was so cute begging for you that you don't think you'll mind helping him in the future.

𖥻 ‹𝟹 pairing: dilf!bokuto x fem!reader

𖥻 ‹𝟹 tw: fluff, oral sex (f), love confession (?), dILF BOKUTO. (not proofread like always :p) nsfw content mdni.

𖥻 ‹𝟹 wordcount: 1,6k

you’ve been looking for a job for the longest time know, applying to every place you found, not even minding what the job was about. that is until one of your father’s coworkers, called bokuto, asked you about giving some general classes to his 8 y/o son. all you needed to do is help him with his homework and assigments. an easy job and well paid, that is.

you knocked on the door, waiting for your dad’s coworker to open it. you would have expected a normal size house, like yours for example. but man, this house was huge. a far “coming!” could be heard and the most handsome, big and attractive man opened the door with the brighest smile.

“ah, you must be (y/n), right?” still amazed by his presence, you just nodded, cheeks now a pinkish color. “well, c'mon c'mon, don’t just stand on the doorway darling.”

he pulled you in to his house, still smiling to you. the nickname he gave you taking you by surprise, making your cheeks to grow redder. the interior of the house was almost blinding due to the white walls and furniture being reflected by all the dazzling lights. just a few pictures of him and his kid hanging around.

“your father told me you were a really good student, so that’s why i thought you could help my son, but he didn’t tell me you were this pretty.” he approached you, big hand on your lower back montioning you to keep walking inside, making you shiver a little. “my son is in his room. just walk upstairs to the second room on your right.” he kept that bright smile on his face the whole time. “i’ll prepare something for the both of you!”

and with that he went to the open kitchen. you just muted an almost inaudible “okay” and went to his son’s room where a kid looking exactly the same as his father was waiting for you.

after the first day, came a lot more. then weeks and months, you were earning a lot of money thanks to bokuto. and his son was doing pretty good in school thanks to you.

everyday you got to know a little more about him, since he always had a little chat with you after the study session was over. your learned that he divorced his wife after he knew she was cheating on him. that was when his son was barely 2 years old. then, he won the trial and the custody of his son.

he didn’t get married again because he was really focused on his job and his son. that taking all his time in the day. you didn’t know why but that information gave you some sort of relief. you learned that he was indeed way younger that your dad, 35 years old.

you noticed his behaviour towards you changed a little everyday, for the better of course. he would always compliment your outfit or hair, even if you just wore some sweatpants and a shirt. he always assured you that you looked good with anything.

you even started to put a little more effort on the way you looked just to hear his “you look really pretty today (y/n)!” or his “wow, you sure are beutiful!”. every compliment igniting somehing in you, something you were to scared to accept. 

today was like any other day, your dad drove you to bokuto’s house, you waited outside of it after knocking a few times and waited for him to open the door for you. but this time he opened the door a little surprised to see you here, a frown adorning his beautiful face.

“what are you doing here today? my son’s in a birthday party!” you just looked at him, mimicking his frown. then it hit him, he didn’t tell you that piece of information. “oh shit, i forgot to text you about it right?” he looked through his phone, searching for the message he never wrote and never sent you. 

“don’t worry bokuto-san! i can call my dad again to pick me up.” you smiled at him, a smile so bright and wide that made his heart jump everytime. a smile that he caught himself thinking about at anytime in the day. that derived  on him thinking about you; the way you talked, how your eyes squinted when you smiled, the way your hips moved, the shine of your hair, the colour of your lips. fantasazing after how good they would look around his cock or moaning his name. 

he thought this opportunity was given to him by god himself, he could not let it slip through his fingers. “oh no please! come inside, let me invite you to some coffee for the drive here! it’s my fault after all.” 

the evening with bokuto went by so fast with all the jokes and story telling, really enjoying spending time with him. in one of all the fit of laughters that you had during the evening, you placed your left hand on bokuto’s arm while you grasped your tummy with the other one, crying and laghing because of some of his colleges stories. 

that subtle touch and the happiness on your face made something ignite inside of bokuto’s chest. something that he hasn’t felt since the first years of marriage with his ex wife. something that he’s been longing for so long. something that he only found on you again. 

he put his own hand on top of yours, making you to look up at him. your heart doing backflips on your chest. this is where you realized your feelings. feelings that you kept bottled up, afraid for he outcome of it. 

you were afraid of his reaction. did he felt the same way? there’s no way, he was your “boss”. but if he did correspond your feelings, how would people react to it? it frightened you, what people would think about it, how would your parents react to it. for god’s sake he was your father’s coworker! this was supposed to be a job relationship with no feelings involved! 

all of this blurred out when you caressed his face and pressed your lips on his. a kiss so awaited by both of you, that took bokuto by surprise, but that he happily returned ignoring his inner voice telling him that this was wrong. 

he succumbed to the kiss, to the way your lips moved along his, the sound you made when he granted access to your own mouth with his tongue, to the feeling of your fingers caressing his cheeks and neck. he succumbed to you.

soon the kiss turned messy and desperate, tongues lapping and teeth clacking. his hands roamed your body, scared that if he stopped you would disappear. breaking the kiss you both looked at each other lovingly as if you were trying to express your feelings with your eyes. feelings that tip toed on your tongues, too scared to say something.

“y/n, i know this sounds crazy but fuck, i really like you.” your eyes widened at his confession. “i know this is wrong and i’m too old. but no matter how much i want to, i can’t seem to get you out of my head.” bokuto looked nervous. surely his confession was something that you didn’t expect but damn if it didn’t make your heart burst.

taking both of his hands on yours, your eyes met his and with a warm smile you leaned into him again almost pressing your lips on him. “i like you too bokuto” the kiss was nothing like the first; it was soft and lovingly, pouring both of your hearts into it — all of your feelings exposed to each other.

your bodies soon moved upstairs to his bedroom. you laid on your back with bokuto’s lips still on yours. his hands were everywhere: your waist, your hips, your thighs, your face. every inch if your skin was covered with his kisses and hands.

playing with them hem of your shirt he stopped, his eyes looked at you with pure lust and love. “can i baby?” you nodded too lost in the scent that surrounded you — bokuto’s scent. “i’m gonna need more than that. use your words pretty” your eyes never left his face. “yes kou, i give you full consent to do anything with me”

he growled, pressing his forehead on your tummy. “you’re gonna drive me crazy” resuming his movements, he took off your shirt with your own help. his shirt and sweatpants came after, only you left in a pair of shorts. pulling them down he almost salivated at the sight of your covered pussy in some blue underwear.

pressing wet kisses on your thighs, his fingers played with your covered folds earning some whimpers from you. he then proceeded to take off your underwear, now dampened with your slick. placing both of your legs on his shoulders, he looked back at you and smirked before giving a little kiss to your clit.

that little kiss turned into kitten licks and then into long desperate ones. his hot tongue ran through your folds, tasting every part of you as if your pussy was the first meal he had in ages. his tongue played with your pussy while two of his fingers thrusted into you. wet sounds and moans filling his senses.

he felt your walls clenching around his fingers, announcing your upcoming orgasm along with your high pitched moans and some “please, bokuto” he never stopped his ministrations, if so, he increased them. “i know baby, i know. just cum for me yeah? be a good girl and cum on my tongue” and with that you reached your high, the coiling feeling on your stomach unraveling.

at that exact moment you didn’t care about what people would say. the only thing you knew was that bokuto was the man you would like to spend the rest of your life with.

©️ zzztobi 2022 — all rights reserved. please don’t repost, translate or copy any of my work.

When @cloudminx tries to tell me that RINDOU is superior to RAN:

Update: lost my 50/50 to keqing gonna riot I WAS GONNA POST SMTH BUT IM LITERALLY TOO UPSET IM GOING TO BED 🥰🔫

Your smiley headcanons for the wash hair day gave me serotonin and high expectations for my future boyfriend thank you for existing 💕

You’re so nice tyy <3 and obv!! if you are treated any less than royalty then kick em to the curb 🙄💅🏾🌸❤️