Cookie Reapers AU: Caught Red Handed (part 1, Written)

Cookie Reapers AU: Caught Red Handed (part 1, written)

Part 1 ~ Part 2

Author's Note: Okay, so this is the scene of the au that I said was my favorite. Just a heads up: it's super long even as individual parts, so I'll have to post this in multiple parts for the sake of my sanity and possibly yours depending on what kind of reader you are. I shouldn't take too long, though I'll give myself a little time between posting parts so there's at least some time for people to read.

Story below the cut

 Click click, click click click…

The distinct clicking, sliding, scraping, and tapping of chalk against the board filled the classroom as Espresso Cookie wrote up the outline of the morning's lesson. The room's lights were not on, as the warm golden rays from the sunrise outside provided sufficient light for him to prepare for the day without them. It was, admittedly, early even for Espresso, but he didn't mind at all. Perhaps with this routine out of the way quickly enough, he could take a moment to have some coffee in the faculty room before classes start, something he had been meaning to do for a long time.

Finally, the last smooth stroke of writing was made, and Espresso finished off his outline with one last tap on the board to create a period. He set down the chalk and stepped back, quickly looking over the white markings to make sure his grammar and spelling were perfectly in check. Satisfied with his writing, he took his coffee cup off his desk and walked out of his classroom.

Calmly and swiftly, Espresso walked through the halls and up the stairs towards the faculty room. Just before he reached the door, his ears perked up a bit as he heard hushed yet frantic muttering on the other side. The nervous yet overexcited tone immediately told him it was Eclair Cookie, who must have shown up just as early if not earlier than Espresso had. As much as Espresso would have liked to know what on earth Eclair was so excited about right then and there, however, it was too quiet for even him to decipher from where he was.

He shook his head. It didn't really matter that much; he just wanted to enjoy his coffee before class, even if it meant putting up with that little thorn in his side. Thus, he twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

Espresso's hearing was just as accurate as ever; Eclair Cookie was sitting at the table next to the counter where the coffee machine was. Unlike Espresso, who was fully aware of his being there, Eclair was not expecting the door to open so soon, and he jumped a little, slamming the notebook he was looking over shut. He abruptly turned his head towards the door with wide eyes but then gave a warm yet ever so slightly suspicious smile.

"Ah! You're here sooner than I expected," Eclair greeted Espresso with a sweet little smile.

"Yes, well, I happened to wake up a little earlier this morning," Espresso replied nonchalantly as he shut the door behind him. He walked over to the coffee machine as Eclair spoke up again in that same strangely casual tone.

"Did you get a good enough sleep?"

"Of course."

"Good."

Espresso noticed some of what he needed was already set up for him in precisely what amount he needed, making him suspect that he was expected to come to this room already. Even more suspicious was what his ears picked up from Eclair muttering right at that moment:

"You're gonna need it."

The fluid movements from Espresso's hands paused for one second exactly before Eclair spoke to him again.

"How's life?"

He wants something, doesn't he, Espresso thought. He's rarely ever so outright friendly towards me.

"Fine, I suppose," Espresso responded without looking away from the coffee machine. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, you know, just making small talk."

"A valid response considering you rarely ever ask."

Espresso glanced over at Eclair for just a second and noticed that casual, friendly little smile was slowly shifting into what looked like a smug smirk. He looked back at the coffee machine and pressed the button that would have it start making his cup of coffee.

"Well, I just wanted to know how you were holding up," said Eclair, who Espresso suspected knew his little facade was unearthed.

"Yes, yes," Espresso responded bluntly, his brows furrowing, "but normally you're in a certain… how do I put it"—His eyes darted over to the librarian again—"You're in this… mindset whenever you do ask me."

Eclair laughed, his hand going up to his mouth as he did so.

"Oh, you know me too well," he said lightheartedly. "In fact, I do have something to ask you," he added in a matter-of-fact tone.

Knowing too well that whatever he was going to ask was not going to be good, Espresso reluctantly decided to respond.

"Very well," he intoned. "Out with it."

"Do you know how much you slip up these days?"

That made Espresso stop completely. That tone… Eclair knew something, didn't he?

Espresso couldn't help but splutter a bit. "...Excuse me?"

Eclair continued on like he didn't hear him, even though that pause allowing his coworker to speak surely indicated he did. "Oh, you know, not just physically—the ears, teeth, 'demon' face—but also with your habits and urges."

Demon face? Espresso clenched his teeth, waiting for his coffee to be finally done. Latte told him something, didn't she?!

"Did Latte tell you about our shared time in college?" he questioned seethingly.

Again, Eclair continued on without answering him.

"You have some rather interesting pain spurts. Heck, Cocoa Cookie witnessed one and she was absolutely distressed!"

"....."

There is absolutely no way he should know that! Unless…

"Oh, and speaking of Latte… you really don't like her lattes, do you?"

"You are trying to investigate into the private lives of your coworkers, aren't you?" Espresso chided accusingly, turning around to face Eclair.

"Only the ones I deem important," Eclair replied with a self-righteous smirk. He picked up his notebook off the table.

He was most certainly preparing for this conversation before I came in, Espresso thought, a feeling of anxious rage rising in his chest. He turned back around to grab his cup of coffee in a futile attempt to ignore Eclair's next words.

"You know, you were quite an important case, being a… demon, was it?"

Espresso did a sharp yet near silent intake, eyes widening and grip tightening on his cup so suddenly and so hard that it nearly broke. He did what he could to calm himself so his hands wouldn't be shaking so much and Eclair wouldn't see the true extent of his reaction as he turned around. Eclair, seemingly expecting this reaction, stood up from his chair to fully face him.

"Tell me exactly what makes you say that," Espresso growled before taking a sip of his coffee.

Eclair, clearly having waited for this response the entire conversation, beamed, saying, "Gladly!"

He opened his notebook and flipped through a few pages, stopping at what appeared to be a list of notes for his claim, but before Espresso could read any of it, he flicked his wrist upwards so only the cover could be read from. Fixing his glasses, Eclair cleared his throat, an all too clear indication that he was about to give an explanation that would likely take up the remainder of time until class starts.

Cookie Reapers AU: Caught Red Handed (Part 2, written)

Part 1 ~ Part 2

Author's note: It definitely took a while for me to figure out a specific stopping point, huh? Even then it's a pretty bad cliffhanger lol.

Here we go, Espresso thought irritatedly, his expression darkening ever so slightly as he took another small sip of his coffee.

"First point," Eclair began. "Your demon face."

Espresso was glowering already, his ears slowly starting to droop against his will.

"'Narrow, slit eyes; sharp teeth (as confirmed by Latte); and a growl that no human could ever make," the librarian read aloud. "Oh, and hissing! Don't forget the hissing!" he added quickly.

"Hm…" Espresso tried to think of a response. "Any witnesses to this behavior? Latte Cookie does not count."

"Cocoa Cookie, of course. You scared the poor gal!"

Espresso's fingers and upper lip twitched. Of course, Cocoa was mentioned earlier. How could he be so careless?

"She was just trying to check up on you, and you looked at her so scarily, she had a complete meltdown even after the initial incident!" Eclair snapped his fingers. "Oh, and that reminds me…" He flipped to the next page. "Point two. The pain."

Eclair paused, taking in the look in Espresso's face as if he knew nothing could be said from the other side of the conversation. The trees rustled from outdoors, their shadows dancing in the panes as much as the fiery fury that started in Espresso's heart.

"Yes, yes, everyone has their fair share of pain, but you?" Eclair Cookie made a small, dry laugh. "Oh, it's all in the same few places! You see, many of the staff have seen you in an uncomfortable state, and it's gotten them so very concerned about you. You'd look like you would be having some kind of back pain, or, considering how you've always press yourself against a chair or the wall, perhaps you are trying to prevent something from happening? Maybe you're attempting to… stop something from coming in or growing out?"

"And what would I be trying to stop or prevent, if you would be so inclined to tell?" Espresso scowled.

"Hmm…" Eclair moved his free hand into a thinking position, though it was clear he was doing it out of pure sarcasm. "Wings, perhaps?"

While Espresso Cookie was now looking more provoked in anger than completely baffled, he could feel his heart give a hard pang as soon as he heard the answer. He drank some more coffee to calm himself.

"I would rule that out, but… it doesn't seem like you want help from a nurse or doctor or anyone else for that matter!"

"That could just be because–"

"Because you can't ask for help?" Eclair interjected. Predicting a retort, he continued, saying, "'Now Eclair,' you may ask, 'why on earth would a human not want help from a recurring problem?' And I must say, that is a fair question. Well, I know you have the resources to go to Milk Cookie's office, and you would never waste time in trying to find solutions to your problems, but you don't want to be outed, do you, Espresso Cookie?"

Espresso was glaring at Eclair Cookie, his ears now pointing down as far as they could go without them hurting.

"Oh, and that reminds me of my next point, which is…" Eclair flipped to the next page. "Ah! Right here."

Espresso stormed to the circular table, purposefully sitting directly across from the seat Eclair was in earlier.

"I just love how young you look," Eclair marveled, sitting back down in his seat. "You know, Latte says in the ten years she's been your friend, you haven't aged a single bit!"

Espresso drank more than a little sip of coffee to pacify his rage this time.

"Now, stress ages everyone, doesn't it? And how long do you work? How many rest days or sick days have you taken?"

Not a single one. And he's using this against me, too? Espresso was starting to regret coming to the faculty room at all now.

"Surely you've been really stressed, but you haven't aged a single bit! Now, I would just LOVE to ask what skincare routine you use, but"—Eclair's eyes narrowed as he stared into Espresso's slightly slitted pupils—"we both know you don't do any of that."

Espresso's face started twitching again as he struggled to keep down his anger.

I. Will. Not. Use. That. Face.

"I mean, you truly are a top notch teacher! Staying long hours, getting up early…" That self-righteous smile was on Eclair's face all the while. "...never taking a day off, seemingly never getting sick… I applaud you! Truly, I do! It just seems a little… suspicious, you know?"

Eclair set the notebook down in front of him, resting his elbows on either side of it and putting his chin on folded hands.

"So much stress in so little time… How could someone like you stay so young as to look like they were still in their freshman year of college? I truly am envious!"

"I am fairly certain that there is at least ONE human being in this world with a life similar to my own!" Espresso snapped.

"Oh really?" Eclair questioned. "A human being that has pointed ears, sharp teeth, slit eyes, and an unnaturally youthful appearance for being thirty one years old? I highly doubt it. See, even if we take your behavior out, you're still too mysterious to ignore."

"Nature can still be quite a strange thing."

"Oh, it can, especially if you're not a human being."

Espresso scoffed.

"You know, your mannerisms always were strange. Every single time you discussed history, whether it be in a class lecture or an argument with myself, you would always talk it like you lived in it. You've always seemed to know more than pure research could tell, and that's coming from someone who has researched history for so many years in his life!"

Espresso took the moment as another chance to pacify himself with another drink of coffee.

"How's your coffee?" Eclair queried, taking advantage of Espresso's choice of action.

"It's fine, thanks," Espresso said through gritted teeth, "though I could certainly do without that pompous attitude and arrogant smile."

"Great," Eclair said, completely ignoring the second part of the response. "You know, every time Latte Cookie had one of her lattes, it would always smell so amazing! So…"

Eclair got up from his seat and carefully took something out of one of the cupboards. While he was walking back to his seat, Espresso saw what it was: a latte, the cup resting on a small dish as Eclair sat back down and placed it in front of him, sliding the notebook carefully to the side.

"...I asked her to make me one."

I feel like this should be said.

Don’t just, repost things on other socials, I have had a few friends this has happened too. In particular @im-the-ant , @misscloudiedays , @weirdozjunkary, and @msdancealot .

If someone does not directly state their status on reposting things, ASK, for the love of god just, ASK. And if they do not answer, DO NOT REPOST. Another thing, don’t change the post, do not state a piece was a ship piece unless they CLEARLY STATE IT IS. Don’t take something that isn’t one and state it is purely because YOU want too, this can ruin the original piece meaning. You all need to learn basic manners for the love of god!

I hope there’s an afterlife so that whoever made this pot 2,000 years ago can brag that their cookware is so good it’s still usable literally millennia later. Something about this object being lost for centuries and then rediscovered, and being put (successfully) to its original purpose again is so pleasing to me.

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

im having very strong feelings about AI art in this chilis tonight. [ID in alt.]