xxmellowmelon - blogging my life one day at a time
blogging my life one day at a time

🌼 !! it's melon !! 🍂 personal blog ; not an online safe space ,, dazai osamu fictionkin & DID system

664 posts

I Kind Of Want To Do A Source Call, Purely Out Of Curiosity. I Do Hope If You Answer This Source Call

I kind of want to do a source call, purely out of curiosity. I do hope if you answer this source call you at least understand you are not the only version of your source.

I am Dazai Osamu, source calling for essentially anyone. Preferably anyone from my mafia days, given my life compared to canon diverged. I never met Oda-san, or Sakaguchi-san. For simplicity's sake, my name online is Sin. I use he/him pronouns. Nobody is banned, however I would prefer to not meet Mori-san. Another version of me would be interesting to meet.

Please message me, I will not take liking as an indicator of wanting to chat. Fictionkin and other alters are all fine to interact.

Bodily we are 19. As an alter, I am also 19. Please keep this in mind.

  • virtue1nvain
    virtue1nvain liked this · 6 months ago

More Posts from Xxmellowmelon

6 months ago
Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

edit: as of 11/20/23 this will no longer be updated - please go to @saradika-graphics for requests & new resources!

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

FANDOMS

Star Wars

— Andor (The Eye)

— Dark Blue (& R2D2)

— Din Djarin

— Din Djarin & Boba-themed (Star Wars)

— Endor (Forest)

— Pastel Colors

— Pink/Mauve (Star Wars)

— Poe Dameron

— Red & Orange-themed

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

Marvel/DC

— The Batman

— Blue Beetle

— Bucky Barnes

— Marvel Inspired

— Loki Inspired

— Miguel O’Hara

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

Games/Series

— Astarion (BG3)

— Call Of Duty

— House of the Dragon

— The Last Of Us

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

AESTHETICS

— Ace (Moon/Stars)

— Alchemy

— Bi-Pride Colors

— Blush Romantic

— Burgundy & Gold

— Constellations (Blue/Green)

— Cottagecore / Dark Academia

— Forest-themed

— Golden-themed

— Halloween

— Hyacinth

— Maroon/Purple Witch

— Misty Forests

— Orange-themed

— Seasonal Aesthetic

— Skulls & Lace / Skeletons

— Taupe and Teal

— Yellow-themed

Masterlist Headers + Matching Divider Sets

✨(Everything was made in and using Canva - so definitely check that app out if you’re looking to make your own! Here, here, here and here are some tips on using the app / making graphics if you haven’t before!) (and credit is not required but a reblog would be great if you use! 💕) ✨


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6 months ago

This!! Work becomes easier when you suddenly switch in and your coworker is talking to you and you have someone there, whispering in your ear what to say so you just repeat it and it goes fine and then once that's over you get an update on what's going on. Without that I'd be screwed.

Like sure my alter didn't sleep well last night or our anxiety got horrific but that's okay, we're still here and we can work on things and handle things. Everyone can be helpful and annoying at the same time.

The problems are the amnesia. The problems are the trauma responses.

Other people have this idea that alters are the worst part of DID.

And yeah, some of our alters are scary. They hold bad memories, they have bad coping mechanisms, it wouldn’t be exactly safe for us to let them front unsupervised. But why do they act like that in the first place? Usually because they’re scared, stuck in flashbacks, panic attacks, dissociation, unable to get out of the moments that hurt them so badly.

And the rest of us? The alters that can be in front and are safe? They can only do it because we have other alters constantly providing positive feedback, encouraging us, reassuring us, grounding us. Just because we shut down instead of act out when we experience the other symptoms doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

Can you imagine eating dinner and suddenly you’re 6 years old again and your mum is yelling and it’s Christmas Eve and it’s all your fault that Christmas is about to be cancelled because you made a mistake. And she’s so loud and so serious and then you’re 9 and you shut the door because your parents are yelling at each other again and your mum marches over and throws the door open, and tells you to stop being so sensitive because ‘you do not live in a broken home and I won’t have you acting like it’.

And you switch and you’re confused and dazed because that was so sudden, and what was just happening, but no, that happened days ago, you’re in different clothes, it’s dark outside now, wasn’t it morning last time you were here? How long has it been? Hours? Days? Weeks? Years? And the voices in your head are muffled but loud and they’re all talking over each other trying to figure out how to look after the one who’s having the flashbacks and how to hell you, who’s just switched in, and you still have to keep up the conversation at the dinner table.

Basically, alters are the least of our worries. They’re actually, most of the time, pretty helpful to have around. Even if they get annoying.


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6 months ago
Well, This New Chapter Sure Has Been Eventful. Idk Where Exactly All Liquified Folks Go, But Ive Decided

Well, this new chapter sure has been… eventful. Idk where exactly all liquified folks go, but I’ve decided to let them just hang out in some other realm and be pals. When Ame no Gozen liquifies another one, I’ll add them to this group. New drinking game unlocked~


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6 months ago

"omg you're a system!!! it just be so fun to have friends in your head!!!"

Yeah. They are my friends but you know what's really not fucking fun? Seeing how intelligent an alter is and how much they want to pursue their dream career but they can't because we share a body. Seeing how creative and talented alters are but we can't spend hours and hours drawing because we share a body and the body has to work. Seeing that an alter really wants to do something and we just don't have time, they say it's okay but we share a body and I know how they really feel.

Yeah I have friends in my head and I'm constantly letting them down because the things we all want aren't physically possible. Yeah that's really fun.


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