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MY BABES

HIMS USIN TAIL FOR PILLOW IS SO WHB BELPHIE

Idia: You see a lone baby dragon in the woods—

MC: Can I adopt it?

Idia: Let me finish. You have two options:

Idia: You can sell it and get rich or-

MC: I'll go with the latter.

Idia: ...

Idia: Great. You successfully adopted a dragon that will burn your whole village when it grows up.

MC: Are the villagers assholes?

Leona: Motherfucker- You're going to justify everything for its sake, huh?

MC: It's MY CHILD. I will do everything for my child.

Malleus: ...

Malleus: Shroud, when can I divorce Kingscholar?

Idia: Uh...

Leona: You're not leaving me with ten children, you dipshit.

Malleus: I will be taking them with me.

Idia: Er, don't fight. Please.

people make binghe too cool in modern aus. he should be irrevocably weird. he has no interest in friends he's too busy trying to become a housewife. he spends all his free time drawing himself and laoshi on deviantart yaoi bases and updating his followers on his absurdly weird teacher crush community account (he's a microcelebrity because people are expecting him to snap and kill someone). sy is aware of both of these accounts but just thinks binghe is overly affectionate (he had a hard childhood it would be wrong for sy to brush him off!!). binghe abruptly disappears off the face of the internet and everyone thinks he died and he gets youtube essays made on him and then he comes back like nothing happened 6 years later with wedding pictures. only after this do people connect him with a cooking youtube channel centered around making meals for the poster's "beloved," who apparently was the teacher this whole time. he never posts again

Because I accidentally flushed my vibrator, I'm gonna write about it :(

Flushed

Sypnosis: The demon brothers reaction to you telling them you accidentally flushed down your one and only vibrator...

Lucifer

♤ looking amused

♤ can't believe you're telling him this

♤ "is that so~?"

♤ teases you about it and makes you remember the whole day

♤ you'll later find a box containing a vibrator on your table with a note "don't lose it this time ;)"

Mammon

$ "why would ya even tell me THAT?!!*

$ he's looking more flushed than your vibrator

$ blushes while his mind wanders about the thought of you using a vibrator

$ when you're about to go to bed, he will throw a box at your head (accidentally) shouting "The great Mammon is feeling generous today so use it well!"

Leviathan

+ "wh- wha-a a- what??!!"

+ more flushed than your vibrator 0.2

+ blood will squirt out of his nose

+ won't be able to talk and would just run and camp in his room out of embarrassment

+ would give you an akuzon package the next day. His hands shaking and looking away then will run in his room like an anime girl

A/N: will post a part 2 soon!!

MC: Belial, where's Jjyu?

Belial: *writes on their palm with his finger*

Belial: Left him in my room. Sleeping.

MC: He will cry when he wakes up and doesn't see you there.

Belial: I want to spend time with you.

Belial: *smiles* And I miss hearing your voice.

MC: ...

MC: Excuse me.

MC: My heart is fluttering right now. *chuckles*

Entering my TGCF phase…here’s a sketch page of Xie Lian being drunk (rare)