Haii Here From Ao3- Was Super Curious But Where Does The Inspiration For "royal Lilies" As Another Name

haii here from ao3- was super curious but where does the inspiration for "royal lilies" as another name for rendocmartyn come from? i can see royal but super curious abt lilies :0

howdy!! so nice seeing you here<33

lilies came from one of the discussions about rendoctyn. at first it was the association of the heraldic lily (fleur-de-lis) with Ren and then became a symbol of rendoctyn loyalty to each other (and not only to Ren--) in my headcanons~

little kitty (may be dangerous)

"I love you"

One day Bdubs had the strength to say it. Not only that, but also a long tirade that the teenager went on for what seemed like an eternity. All the feelings, emotions that he felt towards his friend standing right in front of him. All that he hid inside himself. Everything that he noticed about the white-haired while they were skipping the classes, sitting until late in a half-abandoned classroom next to the exit to the roof, all those memories that he had carefully collected and stored since childhood.

"I can't answer you the same way"

It hung in his head until... Until the end of his life, most likely. Etho tried to explain that he did not feel any kind of romantic attraction to anyone and was unlikely to ever feel it, tried to explain his regrets and his fault, even tried to apologize. But all that was on repeat in the thoughts of the teenager, already overwhelmed by life and most people surrounding him, was that with his stupid hopes he had lost the only important person in life.

He didn't notice how tears began to accumulate in his eyes and then roll down his cheeks. He didn’t notice how his hands began to shake. He didn’t notice how Etho, in a panic, tried to calm him down, tried to hug him, tried to apologize once again... He tried to do at least something while Bdubs felt like the most ungrateful person in the world. Etho didn't tell him to disappear, he stayed with him, he was trying to support him... So why did he feel so miserable?

Clenching his fingers into fists and making his hands shake less noticeably, Bdubs smiled brightly. Tears were still flowing down his cheeks, his whole body, following hands, was shaking, his head was filled with thoughts about how much he didn’t want to get home alive. But a wide smile still appeared on his face, through which Bdubs said something that he had long forgotten. He had long forgotten what nonsense he said to the person he loved, to the person who was experiencing no less stress than he is now, to the person... To the person who did not dare stop Bdubs when he turned around and hurriedly walked towards the exit from the roof, leaving his things lie next to Etho's bag.

It was so unimportant now, absolutely unimportant...

The next day he returned with the same smile with which he left Etho. They behaved as always, they still joked, they still smiled, they still said "oh snappers", they still skipped English class. They still lived, ignoring everything that happened yesterday. Only occasionally Bdubs noticed Etho's glances, in which only one thing was read. Guilt.

Returning home that day, tears welled up in his eyes again. He made his best friend feel guilty... But maybe it was Bdubs' imagination? Maybe he's not really in love? Or it will pass soon? Without attention, without a response to feelings, with the knowledge of how hopeless it all is... Surely this love should wither, like most flowers that cannot survive without stable watering or the sun?

After a couple of months, Bdubs realized that his love fell into the category of flowers that would survive in the least fertile soil, without water and with the least amount of sun in his life. He felt that his love was a weed, which with every week, day, hour, minute, grew more and more in his heart, not wanting to fade. No matter how hard he tried to pull it out, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was hopeless... He couldn’t.

They graduated from school. They entered the same college with completely different majors. And even without almost any pairings, Etho always found time for his “best friend.” Still with the same "oh snappers", still with the same smile, still with the same search for secluded places, still with the same look full of guilt. He knew what Bdubs still felt. And he still couldn’t answer him. At least the way Bdubs would like it to be.

At some point they began spending nights together. At some point, these overnight stays grew into something more. At some point, they became more than just "best friends" who ended up renting an apartment together.

It was the usual quiet evening, in which each of them went about their routine. But unexpectedly, a quiet voice was heard from Etho, clearly intended exclusively for his neighbor: “Do you want to become my platonic partner?”

In these words, Bdubs quickly read the addition “that’s all I can offer you.” Heard unsaid “I’m sorry that this is nothing more than platonics and nights together.” And the sad “I want to do better for you.”

Bdubs agreed. Of course he agreed. Of course, he could not refuse these words when his own feelings tormented his soul and pride for many years. Of course he agreed, realizing that this would slightly ease the self-torment of someone who had already gone through too much for Bdubs' sake alone.

He still wonders what could have happened if Etho had not been born this way. That in some other world, they could be as happy as any other stable romantic couple. They could have been married, maybe they would have lived in the same apartment above the flower shop in which Bdubs now lives all alone. He doesn't know what would happen if everything was as in his dreams.

But now, after more than a decade of this cursed love, he is unlikely to say that he regrets. In the worst moments of his life, when he leans over the sink to wash away all his tears and laughs a little madly at himself and his helplessness after Etho leaves after another night - maybe. But not when he's in the flower shop, his personal chaotic paradise, when too many people in his life are counting on him, when there are too many other broken lives for him to surrender.

He still occasionally catches Etho's guilty glance. And he is still unable to answer “it’s all gone”, he can only smile widely and return to whatever he was doing, ignoring the trembling in his hands.

This is not temporary. But Bdubs resigned himself to the flower and stopped trying to pull it out.

Limited Life ended, just like all alliances from there. But Martyn couldn't let go and so he has two big fluffy boyfriends to fix it

...or just a little something with hurt/comfort rendocmartyn because they deserve the world

happy ptide month!!

Hermit a Day May: Day 18, Joe Hills, The Puppet, the Puppeteer!

@joehills And here's his full portrait without the text and background: