You Said This Far Better Than I Ever Could. I'm Autistic Myself, And I Can Relate With Tech In A Few

You said this far better than I ever could. I'm autistic myself, and I can relate with Tech in a few ways, especially the infodumping (and being ignored or silenced when I do it 😅) and being WAY too literal, so it's nice to see that there are others who feel the same about Tech.

i decided to yell into the twitter void about tech today because i’m an autistic person who is tired of seeing a fictional character who exhibits behaviors similar to my own condemned for those behaviors and called a negative stereotype.

yall. i see a lot about masking, and i just wanted to ask that, well personally, i dont mask. and i feel like thats weird because i keep hearing how, it feels like everybody else is in some form masking?

i dont even know what masking entails, what it is, i only know some very few information that it is like, well one is wanting to touch stuff but dont? idk, i just, if i wanna touch something, i touch it. but im not obsessively touching stuff. i dont like, stim either, in the autistic way, im sorry if that came across as rude i just wanna say i dont do it because of autism, i do it because of my severe anxiety. i only do stuff, crossing arms, twisting foot, idk how to explain it, if im stood still, i will like, bend my foot so it looks like it might break but it wont lol...etcetc, are those even stims? they dont sound like it now that i wrote some down haha, because i have severe anxiety and i feel like im gonna pass out and vomit when im out of the house. i have a whole ass YEAR left until i begin my cbt therapy. i dont even know if thats gonna help, i tried it before years ago but pretty much gave up because i felt it didnt do anything and im depressed af and have zero motivation. because im never gonna get better anyways. i had a nurse telling me that too ages ago and i still remember it because he was all like "so im not supposed to tell you this because its private information about me, but you'll never get better from this. this is a lifelong issue you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life, because i have it too" real comforting when you just told that person you wanna kill yourself because you suffer so bad. i feel like he wants me to kill myself so they'll rid a troubling annoying person. but anyways!

oh yea! another one is forced eye contact, i dont do that either haha, i look up people in the eye, or in the middle, and then if i dont wanna, i dont. so im sure i dont mask and is that normal? is there anybody else out here that dont either?

yall, a list of various ways of masking would be appreciated so i know whether i am or not, even though im preeeeeetty sure that i do not.

thank you. and i hope you have a good week.

I'll answer this in parts.

1 - Autistic masking is the conscious and unconscious act of pretending to be neurotypical.

Conscious versions of this are things like practicing conversations, practicing facial expressions in a mirror, watching others communicate so that you can mimic them. However, unlike neurotypicals or allistics (non-autistics), at no point do we feel comfortable or confident in doing these performances. It's exhausting and we're very aware of our actions and other's actions.

Unconcious versions of masking are those that are drilled in to us either by society, family (on purpose or not), bullying etc. These include forcing facial expressions, forcing eye contact, forcing vocal tone, holding back or permanently repressing stimming, ignoring special interests due to mocking or bullying, enduring adverse sensory experiences etc. These are often enforced from infancy and we may not even be aware we're doing it. But we are aware we're exhausted from tasks others are not.

Unconcious and conscious masking mix and match. They're fluid, and not everyone experiences the same versions.

2 - Not every autistic masks. Higher needs may not mask, intellectual disabilities may prohibit it, and supportive families may never enforce it. Some autistics grow up and refuse to mask any longer. And many different versions of this, too.

3 - Everyone stims. Stimming is any repetitive behaviour that is used to modify external or internal input via a soothing behaviour. Autistics and many other NDs simply do it a lot more and have more variety. So, yes. If what you described is done in order to add input or block out input, it's stimming.

4 - Not all Autistics struggle with eye contact. Whilst clinicians use it as this big indicator, it's really not.

5 - Lastly, that nurse who spoke to you in that moment of need was a complete ass. Anxiety is difficult, but it's not the end of the road. If CBT therapy didn't help, it may be that you need a modified version, or try something different all together. There are many different therapies and avenues. There is hope, you just need to figure out what road is yours.

i feel like the infantilisation of autistic people in the eyes of science and psychology really stunts them when it comes to talking about some of the issues that come from being autistic in a world built for nt people. like i dont think ive ever seen substance abuse rates discussed wrt autistics because thats an “adult problem” and the public at large has an image of autistic adults as overgrown kids, despite the fact that almost every other autistic adult ive met has had a history of substance abuse issues at least partly in response to the stress of existing in the world as an autistic person. like if youre constantly beset on all sides by stress and sensory overload of course youre going to gravitate towards drugs and alcohol and things that smooth over those sharp edges, make socialising easier, etc…

I die every time I see this! Fives delivers that line PERFECTLY. It was nice knowing you Kenobi. 🤣

Dunno enough about cars to agree or disagree with the Firebird bit, but I do know that regardless of what vehicle he would have, he would not only drive it like crazy, he'd put a lot of work into it, too (with Wrecker's assistance for the heavier parts, of course).

I feel like if Tech existed in our world he would drive a firebird and just be drifting it like crazy.

Which is great because my husband has three. 🏎️🏎️🏎️🔥🦅

Come drift with my husband, Tech. Pls?

Remove the stereotype of knowing everything about the so called special interest, I have never had one, but I'm curious why is it called like that, when it isn't for Neurotypicals?

So the list you posted, it just sounds like something a person likes, but why is that it is called special interest?

Because if a Neurotypical would say, if they had those interest(s) that are on that list, or more. Its just...likes. hobbies even. But when a Neurodivergent has any of that, its called a 'special interest' why is that? It just occured to me too this question, I find it strange. That it has a name like that for Neurodivergent but not for the Neurotypicals.

I also feel like, if you utter you like something, then people just assume straight off the bat that it is a 'special interest' when it may not be.

Its the same with the Autistic Meltdown, or that other thang I forgot what the name of it is. Why is it called like that? Because again, if a Naueotypical has, like a big outburst of anger and they get real mad even throwing stuff, whatever someone does, it's not called specifically a meltdown, or that other thing i forgot the name of it. I'm genuinely wondering btw, not trolling.

This is a good question, and completely understandable.

Firstly, a special interest is specific to autism. My post lists a variety of ways that they can manifest, but obviously it's not the only ways.

A special interest is different to a hobby in the way that an autistic engages with it. A hobby for a neurotypical is something they know all about and do to pass the time. They may even take breaks from it.

A special interest for an autistic may not even have a physical component, we have anxiety about not interacting with it, and it's not to just pass the time. It can feel like a core part of us.

Which is why if a special interest fades, we can be left in a state of deep loss. It's like losing a loved one. It can cause grief.

Autistics can also just have hobbies.

Now, an autistic meltdown or shutdown is once again specific to us because it's linked to how we engage in the world. Specifically, sensory input.

A neurotypical can have a "meltdown" after a bad week at work, a break up, plus their car won't start and they'll scream and need a day off. It may even lead to a breakdown. They are serious, and they need self-care. But it's a long build up of stressors.

An autistic meltdown is a painful experience of no longer being able to endure sensory input. We need to escape, and harmful stims, screaming, crying etc are our only coping skills we have left in our arsenal. There is no emotion behind it, no end goal, except to make the pain stop.