Was Rewatching Two Towers (extended Edition Obvs) And When The Battle Of Helms Deep Came Up, I Absolutely

Was rewatching Two Towers (extended edition obvs) and when the Battle of Helms Deep came up, I absolutely refuse to believe that when Theoden ordained that the elderly and young boys would also pulled into fighting the Uruk-Hai, that the mother, wives, sisters, and daughters that heard this didn't immediately start undressing and forcing their loved ones to swap clothes with them because if you think for one second I am about to let my 14 year old brother or my ill grandfather (who probably can't even LIFT a sword) go fight for our freedom when I can, then Theoden King better step up because I have a few things to say

The Union of Maedhros

Melkor

I’m still crying about the Maglor in the Fellowship thing by @most-definitely-human and I’m absolutely in love with it as a concept.

When the Counsel of Elrond starts screaming at each other Maglor just stands up and starts shrieking because he’s the only one who can make himself heard. Elrond is like, “dad, this was supposed to be SECRET and now the whole Shire knows whats going on.

Elrond doing his bit about swearing no oaths and just looks at Maglor very pointedly like “this is for you. Its because of you I have to say shit like this.”

Bilbo singing his song about Earendil and instead of Aragorn telling him not to upset Elrond he’s like, please don’t do this in front of him, he will start a fight.”

Saruman’s doing his magic snow stuff and Maglor starts yelling back at him.

Maglor and Gimli because fairly fast friends because Maglor has met pretty much all Gimli’s heroes: Narvi, Azaghâl, several of the Durins, and even Aulë (Mahal). 

Sam is easily won over for the same reason, and because Maglor probably wrote a few of the songs Bilbo taught him. Maglor also spoils some of the fun because he’s like “I know you think these guys are awesome and magic and all wise and stuff, but trust me I’m related to them and they’re all idiots.”

Maglor gets them through the gate at Moria in like five seconds. Gandalf makes a smart remark about the Star of Feanor and Maglor just glares at him like “I refuse to take the bait.” They get into a fight about history at least once. 

The Balrog doesn’t phase him at all, he’s just like “listen I’ve fought off dragons, LET ME FIGHT IT” (there’s also probably a degree of “no one will care if I die so I can buy you time”) but Gandalf makes him leave with the Fellowship because they need someone with a knowledge of land and history (Maglor’s been wandering for millennia, he knows Middle Earth like the back of his hand).

They probably do get into Lothlorien - but only because Galadriel sees this is his only chance at redemption - Celeborn isn’t happy and probably tells Haldir to follow him around so everywhere Maglor goes theres just a group of scouts trailing around behind him like angry, overly armed ducklings.

Galadriel looks Maglor right in the eye when she gives Gimli the three hairs, because they both know that Feanor tried to get hair from her and she was like “fuck off.”

Galadriel gives Frodo the Vial of Earendil and just looks at Maglor and goes “keep your hands off.” He spends the whole time being like “keep that thing away from me, I want nothing to do with it. Get that thing within ten feet of me and I will throw it in the nearest ocean. Oh, by the way, HOW AND WHY DID YOU PUT ELROND’S DAD IN A BOTTLE. CAN WE AS A SPECIES JUST AGREE TO STAY AWAY FROM SHINY THINGS??? Damnit, cousin your hair started this whole thing.”

What would she give him as a present??????? 

Frodo and Sam leave and Maglor’s like “I CAN’T LET KIDS WANDER OFF ALONE” and Aragorn spends at least half an hour convincing him that 1) they’re not actually kids, 2) YOU CAN’T ADOPT ALL THE PAIRS OF SHORT THINGS YOU FIND, and 3) we need to get Merry and Pippin.

Gandalf comes back and Maglor isn’t surprised. “Does everyone except my family just refuse to stay dead?”

Theoden tries his “women can’t go to war” thing and Maglor absolutely calls him on his bullshit because listen, we need everything we can get and she could probably kick half your army’s ass with one arm tied behind her back.” Maglor has seen some really powerful women and he does not want to risk pissing off yet another one.

Gandalf is like “pippin don’t touch the Palantir” and then he turns to Maglor, hands him the Palantir and says “just start singing at him.” 

When Elladan and Elrohir show up with the Rangers Maglor’s like “does your dad know where you are? Did Elrond okay this? Are you helping your sister flirt with the guy your dad expressively does not want her to date?” 

Unlike Legolas, Maglor doesn’t pitch a fit about going underground because he’s almost definitely lived in a few caves over the years, and the ghost army probably doesn’t faze him at all because he probably knew them when they were alive and he’s like “YOU PEOPLE KEEP MAKING OATHS AND PROMISES AND NOT KEEPING THEM!”

At the end when Mordor is falling apart and everyone is screaming “help we’re gonna die” Maglor just looks up at the sky and goes “okay this is where Manwe decides to get off his ass and do something.” The birds pick him up last.

At some point before Aragorn’s coronation he brings up the fact that Maglor was a high king once (Aragorn probably wants advice, like, at lot of it) and Mags is just like “You have to find the thing that motivates you. For example: the only reason I did it is because I knew my brothers would have been worse.”

Maglor gets his redemption at the end, because HE DESERVES IT GOSH DARN IT.

one thing about me is I love brutalism. I love concrete. I love not living in a house with cardboard walls and I love looking at a building and thinking this imposing boy would survive a nuclear war

movie sub-genres • dark fantasy

dark fantasy sub-genre is typified by a deliberately ominous tone, reinforcing what is commonly perceived as a “gloomy” atmosphere. standard features of fantasy are deliberately intertwined with a sense of terror and dread to create this sinister subcategory of fantasy.