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I LOVE IT!!!!

so let's go see the stars

wk: 3k

TW: mental illness, manic episode, use of medication. might be hard to read for some, pls make sure you're in the right headspace before proceeding :)

song: plug me in - lil soda boi

Kim Donghyun. Your sky blue, your peach pink, your crimson purple.

You pull your knees to your chest to make room for Leehan in the windowsill nook. The two of you loved people watching from your apartment window. It was your favorite activity to do together.

“My new medication has been making me nauseous and giving me the worst headaches. Doctor said this one wouldn’t do that.” You complain with a huff. Leehan has always been an amazing listener. He always heard you out and never complained about his own problems. Everyone needs someone like him in their life, you think to yourself.

“It must be too strong. Tearing up your body from the inside. Stop taking it, missing one here and there won’t hurt.” He offers.

You sigh and bore a hole into the empty bench across the street. “I know it won’t, but the doctors lectured me when they found out I had started skipping. They were real serious – I hated it. They always try to make me feel like there’s something - something wrong with me.” You say. “How come you haven’t been coming around lately?” You add.

He looks at you and responds, “I don’t know. You just haven’t needed me lately.” He grabs the top of one of your knees and says, “Hot chocolate?”. Smiling, you simultaneously get up to make your way over to the kitchen.

You had known Leehan for what felt like forever. It might have been forever. You must’ve given him your apartment key ages ago, because you don’t even remember doing it. He’s been by your side through thick and thin.

Sometimes you wonder how he hasn’t gotten sick of you yet. He stays until you fall asleep, then quietly lets himself out. Sometimes you’ll wake up and see he’s already come back – like he never left. Sometimes, though, he’ll go MIA. No text or calls back, completely off the map. You’ve learned not to take it personally, and figure he needs his alone time as much as everyone else.

He doesn’t seem to have any other friends, which he doesn’t seem to mind. You don’t have that many friends either. You don’t think your parents like him though. Everytime you brought him up in your formative years you saw their eyebrows furrow, like they were holding something back. You wondered what rubbed them the wrong way about him, he’s never done anything to offend.

Leehan always has your back. He’ll hype you up when you need motivation and comfort you when all you need is a shoulder to cry on. But most importantly, he understands you. He made you realize that it’s okay not to be okay. When the meds fogged up your brain, he helped you work up the courage to stop taking them. When you couldn’t manage to go outside, he kept you company inside. He helped you wash your hair in the sink when getting in the shower seemed like an impossible task. Leehan has and will always be there for you.

Leehan made you think deeper about things. One night, he and you lay in bed together, enveloped in a comfortable silence. He sat up and scooted closer to you. You noticed and diverted your attention to him. He stared at you for a few seconds, then put his hand over your lower left rib cage. "Fear," he said. Confused, you cock your eyebrow but let him continue. He moves his hand up to your heart and makes eye contact with you, "joy." As he moves a little to the left to your sternum he scrunches his face and says "anger." He then trails his hand up to your jaw, lingering on your neck for a few seconds, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. "Sadness" he says. After this, he retracted his hand all together and let himself fall onto the pillow next to you.

After coming home from a doctor’s appointment in one day, Leehan ran up to greet you. “How did it go?” He asked.

“Not the best.” You respond, setting your bags down on the kitchen counter. He picks up a small paper bag and shakes it. It lets out a rattle. “More pills?” He assumes disapprovingly. You nod your head. 

“What, you’re just going to let them control you like this? You said it yourself, you can’t get anything done on these stupid pills. And the side effects – I can’t bear to see you in pain. They’re not worth it.” He reproaches.

“I know. I agree. But you know it… it gets bad when I’m not on something. I have to keep trying until one of them works.” You counter.

He huffs and puts the bag back on the counter. “Not with this bullshit. Find another solution. Truthfully, I don’t come around that often when you’re on meds because I can’t stand being around someone I don’t know. You change when you’re under their spell.” With that, he storms off.

You’re surprised and a little upset at the very least. He never gets mad at you. The last thing you want is to drive away the only person who’s stuck around. You stand with a hand on the counter for a moment to compose yourself.

When you finally gather up the courage to go speak to him, you find him at the window nook. You stand in front of him and he looks up at you. You start, “I’m sorry. I know it’s annoying and unfair for you to have to keep up with all my mood swings and problems. I’m sorry you have to deal with me at all. That being said, you’re all I have. I’d rather spend time with you than have you not recognize me when I’m taking some medication. I choose you.”

Not knowing what to do after that declaration, you looked to the side sheepishly. Silently, he wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed his head against your stomach, pulling you closer in the process. You wrapped your hands gently around his head, fiddling with his long hair in the process. You loved this. You loved him, and wouldn’t trade him for the world.

A few days and an annoying phone call later, you sigh and leave the comfort of your bed to go find Leehan. You see him on the couch, reading the book he had most recently brought home.

“I just got off the phone with Sophia, you remember I told you about her? My friend from high school.” You start. He nods, and you continue. “She’s asking why she hasn’t met you yet.” He shifts uncomfortably. “What did you tell her?” He asks.

“I just told her because you’re busy and a bit introverted. She doesn’t need to know that you basically live here.” You say, making your way over to the couch and plopping next to him.

“Good, thanks.” He says. “As we both know, I’m not really a people person. Besides you, of course.” He says, face illuminated with a smile. You immediately felt warmth grow in your chest. Seeing him smile felt like winning a prize at an arcade, like the smell of jasmine. You never wanted to lose him.

One night, it got particularly bad. You had been up for at least 24 hours, full of energy. You paced back and forth behind the couch where Leehan was sitting, thoughts racing 100mph. Leehan notices how antsy you are, and intervenes, “What’s wrong?”

Heart pounding, you try to respond. “I don’t know, I just, I feel so helpless. I have so many ideas but I’m too useless to do any of them. Why don’t I always have this sort of motivation? It’s burning inside of me.” You grab a fistful of your oversized shirt and pull it out and in to fan yourself lightly.

“Do you want some water? I can grab you a glass.” He asks, feet already moving towards the fridge.

Unable to properly respond, you just let your feet guide you over to the kitchen. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, you decide that you need to shower instead. “Shower!” You yell over your shoulder, already halfway to the bathroom by the time Leehan registers where you’re going.

The shower is refreshing, but mid-shampoo, the buzzing feeling in your heart seems to shift. It feels heavier, uglier. You slowly drop your hands, letting them swing to a still at your sides. You don’t feel so good anymore, about anything. Everything felt a horrible shade of brownish green and the taste of lemon lime gatorade.

20 minutes pass, and Leehan decides to check up on you. With a soft knock on the door, he says, “Hey, you alright in there?”. Ear pressed against the door but still not hearing any response but the running water, he knocks again, calling your name.

Now it’s his turn to pace. Finally deciding, he turns back towards the door and says a bit louder this time, “I’m coming in!” Hand shaking a bit, he grabs the door handle firmly and opens it.

When he gets inside he sees you curled up on the floor of the shower. He grabs a towel and rushes to open the door. You don’t seem to mind – or even fully acknowledge his presence. He tries his best to wrap you in the towel and slumps on the wet ground next to you. The last thing he’s worried about is his clothes.

He grabs the bottom of his face and guides it to face his own. “Breath, breath. What’s happening?” He asks.

Sobs racking your body and hot tears streaming down your face, you (unsuccessfully) try to pull yourself together. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why everything is so hard. Why is everything so hard? Why can I not fucking do anything? What’s wrong with me?” You babble.

He quickly pulls you impossibly closer to him, legs clanging against each other and your head on his chest, his chin resting atop it. He tries his best to sooth you, hands stroking your wet hair.

“You’ll get through this. I won’t leave until you do. I promise.” He says assuringly.

All you could do was sob into his chest for what felt like hours.

He didn’t leave.

You slept for most of the day, woken only by the ring of your phone. You both woke up in a haze, stiff from sleeping upright on the bathroom floor. You reach to the counter to grab your phone. It’s Sophia. You call her back.

“Hey! Where have you been?” Her voice stings your ear. “I, uh, I slept in.” You reply. “Until 4pm? God, okay, well, have you read any of my texts? I’m in the neighborhood so I thought I’d stop by. I’ll be there in 5.” She says all at once. “Okay, I – okay. See you then.” Instead of arguing, you decide you’d use the few minutes to make yourself look presentable.

Once you hang up, you tell Leehan about Sophia. “She’s coming over in a few minutes. I didn’t really have a choice, believe me.” You say, going to your room to get changed.

When she arrives, you let her in with a fake smile. She wraps you in a half-returned hug. “Didn’t you say you just woke up? You look exhausted.” She says with a grimace.

Did she come here just to insult me? You wonder, annoyed by her blunt comment. Brushing it off, you retort, “I didn’t sleep very well to be honest. Can I get you anything to drink?”

After a somewhat pleasant visit surrounding small talk of where Sophia’s moved since high school and what your lives have been like the past few years, it seems like she’s finally finished with her stop by. Walking to the door, Sophia quips, “You know, I was sure I was going to catch that Leehan boy here. You always mention him but never offer to introduce us. Is he really that shy?”

Thinking that this might be the right time for Leehan to meet someone else from your life, meaningful or not, you respond. “Actually he is here! Let me go get him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” As you go to find him, she mumbles under her breath. “He’s here and he didn’t even come out? How rude. I don’t know why she hangs around that guy.”

Oddly enough, you search all the rooms in the apartment to no avail. Leehan isn’t there. With a frown on your face, you go back to the entrance of the apartment to try to explain yourself.

“He actually um, he must’ve left while I was changing. He really is that shy.” You say with a light chuckle, in an attempt to make the situation less weird.

Sophia nervously laughs. “Okay, okay. Maybe another time then. Also, are you taking your meds?”

Your heart jumps at her question. “How… How do you know I’m on meds?” You inquire.

She shifts her weight a bit with a pause, looking as if she’s carefully choosing her words. “I bumped into your parents recently when visiting home and, you know how your mom is…” She says.

A sting of betrayal sparks in your heart. “Did she ask you to ask me about the meds? Does she not think I’m taking them? Actually no, I’m not going to discuss this with you.” You extend your arm past her to open the door, insinuating that she needs to take her leave.

All of a sudden, Sophia grabs your shoulder. “Please, your mom is worried about you. Both of them are. I am. Can you just take your medication for us?” You screw your face up at her sudden request.

“Sophia, I’m really fine. I can manage without them. They don’t make me feel good, do you understand? Plus, I have Leehan-” You begin to express, being cut off abruptly.

“That’s just it though! You’re not! You sleep all day, don’t respond for days, and your only friend is someone no one else has ever met! You’re not fine! There is something wrong and you are scaring us.” She outbursts.

You’re in shock for a moment. “You don’t care about me. You never did. You’re just a henchman for my parents.” You shake her hand off your shoulder and it falls back to her side, defeated. The look in her eye turns from concerned to blank. Her fallen hand goes to clutch the strap of her bag. “Okay. Good luck then.” She says, turning and opening the door in one motion. She leaves without another word.

Even though you didn’t appreciate Sophia’s visit, it held a little more weight to know that your parents were involved. They were concerned, scared for you?

That evening, you thought about this standing by the kitchen counter with the new medication in front of you. 

All of a sudden, Leehan walks in. He sees you and walks over to you, patting your head like a puppy. You beam up at him, the first time you’ve smiled all day. “How are you feeling?” He says, taking off his jacket and draping it over the closest chair. “Utterly and completely exhausted.” You respond honestly.

You turn to face him directly. “Hey, I think I might give this new medication a chance.” You say. His eyebrows knit almost immediately. “After everything they’ve done to you so far? Really? They practically make you a zombie.” He says.

You move to grab a glass from the cabinet and fill it halfway with water. “Yes, after everything. I can’t afford to go through last night over and over again. I can’t handle it.” You say.

He goes silent. Too silent. “What are you thinking?” You ask. It takes him a few heartbeats to respond, but when he does, you wish you never asked.

“How do you think I feel?” “What?” “How do you think I feel? I’m by your side through all of this. You don’t think I’m sick of it too? This is just as much my battle as it is yours. You… you couldn’t do any of it without me. You need me. These pills, they just make you some brainless loser. Those ideas and dreams you have sometimes? You won’t be able to achieve any of them on those damn pills, I can guarantee you that.” He says.

Your jaw tightens at the shocking and harsh comments he just made. It turns to anger in your heart. “What, are you trying to control me too? Is that it? If you feel so burdened by me then why don’t you go and leave me too? You are by no means obligated to stay here with some brainless loser.” You angrily swipe the pill bottle from the counter and shake out a pill. You toss it in your mouth without and drink from your glass without hesitation, looking him in the eye while you do it. You felt like you could see his resolve break through his eyes, and your jaw tightened with sadness again.

You left for your room. You got in bed and immediately burst out in tears. You left the door open, though. With Leehan, an open door meant the other could come in, even if you weren’t in the best of moods.

After a minute, Leehan slinked in. He silently climbed into bed with you. Instinctively, you put your head against his chest and continued to cry. What you didn’t expect was for him to start shuddering. You open your eyes to see tears coming out of Leehan’s eyes. The look on his face brought you so much anguish. His shade wilted to a dull ash and it broke your heart.

You sit up and try to wrap your hands around him for once. Still crying, he says, “I just… I don’t want to lose what I have. Don’t let them take you away from me. Please. I need you in my life. I can’t live without you. Please let me stay.”

You hold him close until you both fall asleep, just like he’s done for you time after time. When you wake, you see that Leehan has already woken up. After you fully wake up, you return to your room. You sit on the window nook, legs to your chest to make room for Leehan out of habit. He’ll turn up soon, you think to yourself.

He never does.

hi guys! this is unedited so i apologize for any mistakes :,) wrote it in the spur of the moment, i hope u enjoy! also i realized how little works there are for the bonedo community to i'm officially joining the forces 🫡

p.s. i got inspo from the forest fic…

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⁂ 44/100 days of park jimin | serendipity

YES

240814 - bts on weverse: Hello.

We wish to inform you on the premier of BTS member Jung Kook’s documentary film.

The film JUNG KOOK: I AM STILL will premiere in theaters worldwide on September 18, 2024.

The documentary JUNG KOOK: I AM STILL follows the talented and ever-growing artist Jung Kook on his eight-month journey toward becoming a “global pop star” who captivated the global music scene, and takes a dive into the star’s heartfelt love for his fans, ARMY.

Catch a sneak peek into how Jung Kook prepared for his first solo album GOLDEN, scenes from the lively, internationally loved performance at various venues, and never-before-released behind-the-scenes footage of Jung Kook’s inner-most thoughts —all in his first documentary film.

my cute vampire

(he’s my bf)

NO CUZ THE WAY THIS MAN DID THW CHORUS DANCE IN THE MV…. WITH HIS SMIRK!??

I DIED

he’s mighty fine

anyone wanna buy this for me 🤭

any onedoors on here? looking for more bnd moots!!!

i absolutely love and live for the accounts that write imagines.

thank you for feeding into my delusions!!!

i love y’all sm 😭

just jungkook checking himself on the camera ♡

boyfriend stories.

엔하이픈 제이크 ੭୧ f .. r （ 𝓲 ） mention of kissing ˃̵ᴗ˂̵ fluff ！

jiah says ： this is really, really silly but i’m currently writing some stuffs and getting ready for vacation so .. i hope you enjoy this ! ♡ㅤ

ㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open ！

god. what a handsome boy.

240810

/ ★ / #jin #seokjin #bts #bangtan

cutie

240810 🫧 © ACE

too cool for school🖤

his long hair, the glasses and his sleeve rolled up 🫠

oh how i love this man

HYUNJIN 🧸🤍 240806 INSTA LIVE

i was watching this and was hoping someone would cut this part!! in love!

barefaced jungkook is the prettiest ♡

i love this man

emergency contact | park sunghoon x reader

prompt: weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. pairing: non-idol sunghoon x implied female reader genre: angst with hopeful/happy? ending; second chance romance??; exes to lovers??? word count: 2800 note: i’ve had a cute fic idea that i wanted to write forever…but this is not it. the sad demons have visited me once again. hope y’all enjoy nevertheless and any feedback is much appreciated <3

sunghoon was miserable. 

it had been three weeks, five days, two hours, and thirty-two minutes since the two of you had gone no contact.

he wished he could say he was happy to be single, that he was no longer “locked down” and “whipped” as his friends had always called him. but the so-called “freedom” felt like hell since it meant losing you.

at first, he kept telling himself that time would heal the pain. “it’s natural,” he had repeated like a mantra, “she was your best friend and lover for years.” but no, this heartbreak was inhumane. his desire to see you, apologize endlessly, and spend days holding you until you could feel every ounce of his love was gnawing at his soul. if anything, it got worse by the minute.

he had tried so hard to balance work and the rest of his life, using the excuse several times that he was securing this future for your shared life with him. that one day, you’d be able to reap the rewards of his efforts and live comfortably together without stress.

but what was the use of all of that now? the future he had worked so hard to create was ripped out from his hands by no one other than himself. 

you had accused him of being too busy for you. dates canceled at the last minute, a birthday forgotten, and all the texts left on read had built up to the argument that ended it all. he was always good at fighting, a little too good. he had retorted that you weren’t being supportive, and he was never one to sugarcoat his words. his tongue was sharp, and he did nothing to dull its blade.

but there wasn’t too much yelling on your part, and he thought that that hurt more. he wanted you to fight back, to stand your ground because he knew deep down that he was being the asshole. his toxic thought was that by you fighting back, this meant that you were still fighting for your relationship. but instead, you just stared with silent tears and a blank expression. seeing the indifference in eyes that had previously held so much love was a sight that would stay with him forever. so, in fear of you leaving, he ran instead.

he was a coward, leaving your shared home to run back to the apartment he had still technically owned but hadn’t lived in for more than a year. he locked himself away for a few days, but the realization that you hadn’t attempted to contact him burned more than he could put into words. you were done with him. he had hurt you, had the audacity to be the one to run, and now he had lost you.

he had even run from his job. he couldn’t stand to walk into the same building he stayed in when he forgot dates with you. his coworkers wouldn’t stop asking what happened to him, why he looked so rough. he even found an empty container that had once held lunch you made for him. but his final straw was getting promoted. his first instinct was to call you, but he remembered the sad truth before he could dial. any ounce of pride was washed away with shame in that moment. that same day, he quit without notice.

so there he was: miserable, alone, and unemployed with nothing left to run from but memories. he had spent the last week going through his phone and saving your pictures together in a locked album. he wouldn’t dare delete them, but he couldn’t stomach looking at you either.

he wished he could get drunk and sleep away the pain. he had tried, he definitely did - but that night, he dreamt of you. you were smiling at first, eyes ever full of love. you were speaking, yet he couldn’t hear you. but he could see how your words started to gradually look sadder, and slowly, tears started to fall as your grin dropped. he woke up that next morning crying with the conclusion that he would have to face this heartbreak sober.

but another day of scrolling through albums had stopped abruptly when he saw the notification that changed everything.

SOS i called emergency services from this approximate location after my watch detected a hard fall. you are receiving this message because i have you listed as my emergency contact.

sunghoon had to remind himself to breathe.

he had purchased that watch for you as a “just because” present months ago. you had complained of bad sleep and he wanted you to use it as a way to track your slumber. he hated seeing you tired. he knew that the watch had a fall detection function, but it had never been used before.

his heart was in his stomach as he went to his favorite contacts page and selected your name for the first time in weeks.

“please,” he begged, all notion of running away from you leaving his brain, “pick up please.”

but you just weren’t answering. so he tried again and again and again.

for a moment while the line attempted to connect, he wondered if this was how he had made you feel for months - desperate for a sliver of attention from him. but instead, he was desperate for a sign of life.

finally, after about two minutes of trying to reach you, his body moved of its own accord. before he knew it, his car keys were in his hands and he was out the door.

the car ride there might have been the worst part. the speed at which he drove at almost defied the laws of physics. other drivers were cursing at him but he wasn’t registering anything except the thought of your safety. he just needed to get to you.

why did he run? why didn’t he try to talk it out? if he was so afraid of losing you, why did he do the one thing that would guarantee that? he should have been there like he promised to be from the beginning. you would have been safe with him.

when he pulled up to the house you had shared for so long, he suddenly felt the world slow down. why were emergency services there? you should’ve canceled them by now.

he had to double park as the ambulance was blocking the driveway. why were they here?

the emts and police had arrived at the same time as him, which both increased his anxiety and soothed him. for one, that meant he had been quick enough. but why did you need them?

“sir, do you know–” an officer had approached him as he stumbled to the front door. all he could understand was your name. why were they asking if he knew you? of course he knew you. you, the love of his life. you, his soulmate by every meaning of the word. you were you. and you were safe.

as if sensing his distress, he felt an emt worker pull him to the side as the same officer prepared to break down the door. seeing this, sunghoon finally returned to his senses.

“w-wait! sorry, i have a key.” sunghoon’s hands were shaking. the only way that door had unlocked was by pure muscle memory because he didn’t understand what he was doing at all.

as soon as the door opened, sunghoon tried to step in. finally, he was close to you. 

the officer, however, pulled him back.

“sir, you should wait here. we need to make an initial search before you can go in.”

“what, why? if she’s in there, i want to see–”

“sir, it’s just in case we find something we wouldn’t want you to see.”

all of sunghoon’s hesitation and fear went out the window at those words. his body flew automatically as he ran inside.

he screamed your name as he rushed in, ignoring the yells of the police officers who followed him in. as it had been for almost four weeks, his only thought was you. he just needed you.

he checked the ground floor first, eyes scanning the open space in less than a second as his body avoided an officer trying to grab him. sunghoon then moved to the staircase, long legs prepared to skip steps to reach you. then suddenly, he heard the voice his ears had been longing for,

“sunghoon?!”

his head shot up. there you were, finally. he saw the sadness, confusion, and fear all flash your face as you registered the emergency workers behind him. you looked exhausted and unruly, but he had never felt more in love.

he didn’t even remember climbing the steps, but suddenly he was at the top of the staircase and you were in his arms. 

you could feel him trembling as he held you. you took his face into your hands to look at him, “sunghoon? what’s wrong? why are you here? is it my parents? is someone hurt?” you watched as his mouth opened but no words came out. after a few seconds, one of the officers spoke from the bottom of the steps,

“ma’am, we received an alert from your device that a hard fall had occurred.”

suddenly, you understood everything. taking sunghoon’s hand gently, you led him down the stairs, afraid he’d fall from shock. he followed you silently, but his grip tightened seemingly with every step.

that’s when you noticed your shattered watch on the third step.

you let sunghoon go and you could hear his deep breath when you did. you picked up the watch and offered it up to the officer as an explanation, “i’m sorry officer, it looks like there’s been a misunderstanding…”

the officer nodded in understanding, and dismissed the emts, “got it, ma’am. we will still need a formal report for our records since this was registered as an emergency call.” he motioned to your couch as he took out a pen and paper.

you reached for sunghoon’s hand once more and led him to sit with you. in the moment, you knew he needed you more than you would ever understand. so, as you explained to the officer, you held his trembling hand, rubbing soothing circles with your thumb.

“i was doing laundry here downstairs and had taken off my watch to prevent it from getting wet,” you recounted, “i put it on top of the basket of clothes that i took upstairs. i remember tripping a little going up the stairs - i didn’t fall, but that must’ve been when the watch fell."

"what about your phone, where is it? i'm sure your boyfriend must've tried to call you."

sunghoon slowly nodded at that, turning to look at you. you smiled sheepishly, "i left it upstairs and it was on silent while i folded the clothes. i’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

after finishing up your statement, the remaining officer prepared to leave. as he walked out the door, he gave a soft smile to the both of you,

“glad to see it was a false alarm, ma’am. you had this gentleman quite worried - ran so fast i couldn’t even grab him!” the officer laughed, “you two have a nice day now! sorry about your watch, though!”

after he shut your door, the silence enveloped your home. you closed your eyes and breathed deeply to prepare to speak to your ex-boyfriend. but as soon as you opened them, sunghoon started to cry softly.

he hugged you tighter than he ever had, and soon enough, his face was buried in your neck. his cries were silent, but you could feel his body shaking as his tears soaked your shirt.

“sunghoon…” you started, stroking his back, “i’m sorry i worried you, honey.”

you knew you shouldn’t be calling your ex pet names, especially an ex that had run from you without properly ending the relationship. but your heart still held so much love for him that it flowed out naturally. and you knew he was crying from more than just worry, so you doubt he minded at all in the moment.

his crying slowed down as his arms took to loosely wrapping around your waist instead. he pulled away from your neck to rest his forehead on yours. from this angle, you could see his swollen eyes and red nose - a sight so rare in all the years you had dated. he was never a crier after all.

but memories of several late-night conversations rushed your mind. he always said his number one fear was your death, and now you could see he had never lied about that.

he could see your mind go elsewhere so he called your name softly, “don’t say you’re sorry. i’m so happy, these are relieved tears. and i just really, really missed you.” he croaked out. you knew he had more to say, so you just nodded, letting him go on.

“and i’m sorry, baby. for everything. i shouldn’t have run, i shouldn’t have tried to egg you on to fight me back. i shouldn’t have even fought anything you said that night. you were right. i didn’t prioritize you. in my attempt to secure you for life, i let you go instead. i’m so sorry, i never wanted to break up.” he was rambling in earnest now, afraid that no words would make you take him back.

you listened quietly as he went on for a few minutes after that, hand continuing to rub his back, “i know honey, i know.”

“baby, you need to understand that i almost died thinking you almost died today,” you could’ve laughed at how dramatically he spoke, “i couldn’t breathe right thinking that our last conversation could’ve been an argument. that you wouldn't have ever known just how deeply i love you and need you. i have so much regret for how i treated you, but if you’d give me the chance, i have all the time in the world to make it up to you…let’s go on that vacation i promised you. we can leave tomorrow if you’d like.” he smiled hopefully at you.

“hoon,” his heart soared at the use of his beloved nickname, “what do you mean? don’t you have work? can you really leave with such short notice?”

“i quit my job.”

“excuse me?”

“no job that made me work that much is worth it. i’ll find one with better work-life balance…after our vacation. if that’s what you still want of course…” he spoke more quietly, as if afraid of rejection.

you sighed. you really should be realistic with this - you two had been broken up for a few weeks at that point. you knew the love was still there, but was this a good decision?

while there was still some hesitation on your part, you couldn't help but notice how gingerly he held you. his arms were still around your waist loosely, yet there was something desperate about their hold. you knew he was holding back from hurting you - you could tell how tightly he wanted to hug you.

he was so shaken up at the idea of you being hurt that he rushed over there despite the two of you not being on speaking terms. for someone who had trouble communicating how he felt sometimes, you knew his actions spoke louder than words. he always acted brave, but there was so much he feared. and you knew losing you was always at the top of this list.

you could also feel how he was simply soaking in the sight of your face. his eyes were shy, yet determined. he wasn't going to risk missing another second of staring at you. a part of you grew conscious, but you knew he was just taking in what he had missed for weeks.

“what about…” you started and almost giggled at how he perked up, “we take it slow - another two weeks or so to talk everything out and relax? to get us to a good place again before you hold me hostage in some foreign country?”

sunghoon smiled softly, kissing your forehead. you leaned in naturally to his warmth, to his touch that you missed so much. “that sounds like a great idea, love.” he spoke, “we’ll get you a new watch too. and i’ll do all the itinerary planning and packing whenever you’re ready, okay? i love you.”

“okay. and i love you too. can’t wait to enjoy your unemployment with you for now!”

one smile and nod from you had him taking you into his arms once more, relishing in your being. he was back where he belonged. he had experienced the scariest reminder ever that he needed you, and sunghoon was never letting you go now.

SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

or

enhypen texts when you sleep on the couch and not next to him

luna's diary : wrote this instead of sleeping

© @leaderwon 2024. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

arguing on dti is so me

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PREC𝓲S your grumpy co-worker fell in love with you.

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내 책장 ; 𝒾f enjoyed, please 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 (..◜ᴗ◝..)

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