11/20/21

11/20/21

the cards i pulled for myself under the full moon: 

X of Cups -- Page of Wands -- Knight of Cups

my emotional state has taken a huge improvement in the last month, it’s been like six months since i moved out of pennsylvania back to puerto rico + what was difficult at first was reacquainting with estranged family, because i held a lot of shame around not pursuing contact with them in the past ten years, but i realized that narrative was negating my experience as a child immigrant, the anxiety i was internalizing was distracting from the opportunity to learn about my family and immerse myself with the place i was born

my mental state is better for the realization that i know what i want, i recognized that my love language is quality time + i can’t expect that from everyone bc i know that we’re only able to give in the way that we know ourselves to be capable, but i used to take rejection seriously personal as i struggled to accept my social anxiety throught adolescence, which was really just my underdeveloped indicator for psychic boundaries as a clairsentient person, so being in this new dynamic where i’m reintroducing myself to family who only knew me as a toddler is a direct challenge of expressing my personal truth

my water houses are all ruled by fire signs, which this pull is bringing a focus to as chiron transits my 8th-- the house of my natal saturn, planet of my life’s lessons

my current manifestation cycle is pointing towards the kind of work that is possible for me through the type of values that i exude + what is inherent to my journey, it’s very important for me as a writer to recognize my voice, that means understanding the influences behind my personal experiences a.k.a what beliefs i allow to drive me in life

As a life path 8, the major lessons in Felix’s life are ruled by Saturn’s placement in his chart. People ruled by Saturn tend to achieve an understanding of their greater potential. The value and meaning of this achievement depends on how naturally the native has defined their life purpose. While Saturn represents severity and authority, it mainly symbolizes the quality of autonomy that one is able to embody.

In Felix’s case, his placement of Saturn in Gemini highlights the multiplicity of personal accountability. The Red aura resonates within abilities of the Root chakra, which rules Scorpio. While Saturn shares rulership over this chakra along with the Moon, in Felix’s chart: the Moon is placed in Aries. This reveals the degrees in which life lessons are absorbed.

I’m picking up on an energy leak through the Throat chakra. I see that his conscious expression is affected by detached thoughts and underdeveloped concepts. He would have to work on defining his passions in differentiation with those around him. I’m getting that he’s underestimated because he blends in too closely with his peers. His individual growth gets stunted if he molds motivation around who is likely to agree with him.

This energy leak takes away from the quality of his individuality, which is a huge factor in attaining healthy autonomy. He’s meant to present his personal beliefs through his actions, as a way to clear his own path. However, his ability to consider other perspectives can distract from his unique imagination. With his jovial attitude, he may get swept up in trivial causes that lack direction. If he could differentiate his personal visions in life then he would realize stronger passion to build motivation and connect with causes that matter.

During the months of February as well as November, Saturn is a stronger influence for Felix. There are seasonal activations of his Aquarius and Sagittarius placements which surface insight around recovering from obstacles.

I really enjoyed this film, actually I imagine this would be stronger as a continued series because I want to spend more time with the side characters.

12/01

The cards I pulled for myself:

V of Pentacles -- X of Cups -- VI of Wands

December begins my personal month of The World... which represents Jupiter’s influence over the Root chakra. Jupiter sits in my 6th house where I learn how to contribute through my lifestyle. My emotional state has been recovering from isolation, I can tell because even while my time online has averaged to 9 hrs a day the past three years, I’m not taking on and digesting all of the energy in the same way.

I used to wallow in my envy for others who seem to have it better than myself, and I allowed that to take from what happiness or peace I found in my own life. I recently commented on a discussion about learning appropriate language to express your intellectual opinions and the irony of engaging in nuanced discourse with people who won’t ever understand your point of view. I realize my experience in both of these sides, for example in my lack of education I compensate by teaching myself with whatever I have access to. The 5 of cups shows how we measure our values based on what is structurally coveted. By depicting two sickly characters waging against the harsh of nature while the Church window glows over them. I’m emotionally mature enough to understand the poverty that my “privileged counterparts” face, is just a different form. (My guides tell me it’s a lack of character value.) My mental state has cleared up so much. I think I’m still too obsessed with social media and I definitely catch myself reading far too deep into arbitrary information. But I also recognize my inner voice apart from the collective consciousness. Which I feel that is what I find addictive about the internet-- as a looking-glass into the collective. I no longer take my own emotions out of context from where they belong: in myself. Social media is especially confrontational about what people feel, constantly in demand of emotional exchange. People learned to bet on false projections which they know cause arguments or controversies, because that’s how they find the attention they need. I have an entirely new approach to utilizing the internet in a way that allows me to appreciate connection with the collective. I believe this connection is what motivates me to share ideas and stories. (My guides want me to write about my addiction.)

As a life path 1, the major lessons in Joy’s life are ruled by the Sun’s placement in her chart. People ruled by the Sun tend to progress in unconscious ways. The nature and pace of this progress depends on how strongly the native has tapped into their own personality. While the Sun represents the personality itself, it mainly symbolizes the quality of character one is able to streamline without inhibition.

In Joy’s case, her placement of Sun in Virgo highlights self-awareness as the method to progress into wholeness. The Violet aura resonates within abilities of the Crown chakra, which rules Aries and Leo. In Joy’s chart: Saturn in Aries could reveal where the main obstacles in her life are rooted, while Black Moon Lilith in Leo speaks to the depth of how that affects Joy’s character.

I’m picking up on an energy leak through the Solar Plexus chakra. I see that her unconscious personality is affected by indecision, largely around the actions she takes regarding the obstacles in her life. She would have to work on accepting the reality around things she can’t directly control. I’m getting that she is overwhelmed by coworkers and employers because of inconsistent communication. Stress around those situations goes straight to her head if she’s unable to express her thoughts candidly.

The energy leak takes away from the quality of her bright personality which is a huge point of magnetism in her life. She’s meant to draw in the right people who share the same work ethic. However, her ability to enjoy the work she does may be thwarted by her ideals and expectations. With her awareness for detail, she can get hung up on micro-managing her environment. If she could build up the confidence to turn away from what she can’t control then she would realize that people naturally look to her for advice.

During the month of July, the Violet aura is activating her placements in Cancer. This period of time personally surfaces insight regarding blockages around ego attachments and conditional forms of self-expression.

As a life path 7, the major lessons in Siyeon’s life are ruled by Neptune’s placement in her chart. People ruled by Neptune tend to align with opportunities by surrendering to their spiritual beliefs. The extent of their surrendering depends on how strongly the native believes in their dreams. While Neptune represents the higher self, it mainly symbolizes the quality of our own imagination.

In Siyeon’s case, her placement of Neptune in Capricorn highlights self-accountability as the method of integrating the higher self. The Magenta aura resonates within abilities of the Soul-star chakra, which rules the sign of Pisces. In Siyeon’s chart: Saturn is placed in Pisces, revealing the way she can learn from the obstacles in her life.

I’m picking up on an energy leak through the Heart chakra. I see that her deepest desires conflict with certain beliefs that were taught to her. She would have to work on realizing her personal needs and having the confidence to express that. I’m getting that she can easily integrate other people’s wants and needs. Her ability in understanding what others want and need can distract her from pursuing her own dreams.

This energy leak takes away from the quality of her emotions, which can purify false belief systems. She’s meant to express herself in a way that honors her feelings. However, her ability to be honest might at times compromise her boundaries. If she could express the content of her heart’s desires in responsible ways then she would realize how her personal beliefs maintain a standard for her emotional wellbeing.

The stellium of Libra placements in Siyeon’s chart is notable as a focal point with respect to the lesson’s she’ll have to work through in this life. There’s a deeper fear rejection which prevents real bonding with others. By feeding attention and energy into shallow relationships, she is inadvertently sabotaging her spiritual growth. So she is here to work on expressing her emotions in responsible ways that foster honest relationships with safe boundaries.