"There's No Thought Crimes And No Thought Heroisms" Is Honestly Such A Good Piece Of Life Advice.

"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.

You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.

So, like... To the Tumblr people who got into ana/mia as a form of self harm, judge their "how sick are you REALLY" status by the number on the scale and are also into the sandman/dead boy detectives:

Despair is the fucking goddess of pain. She understands torturing yourself better than any other being in the universe, she UNDERSTANDS why it gives you a feeling of power to try and chase out the emptiness with more emptiness until you can't see hope anymore. And she doesn't look like fucking thinspo. She doesn't look like regal queen ana. She isn't skinny. She's fat. Because why wouldn't she be? There are so many people who are self destructive and miserable and also overweight, what the fuck is stopping her from being that?

If the fucking goddess of pain can look, not like a 19th century tortured starving artist or like an emaciated goth with no joy left in their eyes, but like a middle-aged fat woman in baggy clothes who sometimes cuts herself to feel something, then your pain is not any less fucking valid if you look more like her than like those fake, imagined thinspo images.

Recovery from your ed won't mean you aren't sick, or miserable, or struggling. I'm not even telling you to get your life and mind together, I know you might really not be in a position to do that. But these disorders could cause damage to you body down the line that there will NEVER be a way out of. (And that's besides the point, but this also applies to drug abuse, so just keep that in mind. Despair of the endless would visit millions of people, every day, who don't need a drug addiction to see her. NOT ALL the cool mentally ill kids are doing this, and neither would you have to to be one of them.) Recovering from the shit that fucks up your body to the point where you can't use it later, will only make it less and less hard for you to get back to the way things were, to when you were able to feel joy and not worry all day every day, one day when you will be ready to try and make your way there.

I'm in recovery now. I've stopped purging, I no longer restrict to the point where I barely have the energy to function. I got out before my body got irreversibly damaged- not that it would matter if I wouldn't have, because this shit can always get worse and you can always put the line as high or as low as you want. And despair still visits me every day, and the misery she brings with her is still real, I haven't suddenly gotten fixed and replaced with a mentally healthy version of myself that doesn't get to complain, I'm STILL SUFFERING, but at least now I A), know that the validity of that doesn't depend on a fucking number, so at least I've got that off my mind, and B), when I will eventually get better and want to, like... Be a functional person, I'll have a body waiting for me to live that happy life through, that will be able to help me with it better than it would have if I kept going. I don't really want to get better just yet, but I do want to want to get better, and one day when I actually will, I'll at least know that my pain on the way there was fucking valid and deserved fucking treatment. Because it always does. Pain always makes you worthy of help against it, no matter what it looks like. Just remember that, and try to stick to the stuff that still leaves the window open for happiness in the future.

Here's your reminder that if you've got your own personal shit to deal with, especially if your health, safety or ability to immediately function in society is on the line, it is perfectly fine to aknowlage political events that are outside of your control as something you genuinely can't worry about. Your responsibility is to yourself before it is to society. If opening the news makes you suicidal, you don't have to. If donating means compromising the money you need to function daily, you don't have to. If "speaking out" means having to cut people you love out of your life, you don't have to. Nobody should be telling you to throw yourself into something that is killing you internally/putting you into debt/taking away your ability to just live your life/meaningfully harming you in any other ways just to perform some kind of moral duty.

Me: (gets up too quickly)

*vision gets fizzy* *brain gets dizzy*

Me: (humming the line from I/me/myself) I've been feeling lightheaded... Since I lost enough-

Me:

Me: OH THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT BY-

Me:

Me: "light hearted since I gained enough weight back to cover my-" oh my fucking GOD that's about recov-

Me:

Me: wait shouldn't skeleton appreciation day have just given it all away?

Just had a dream where Monty had a proana twitter account. The fuck?

Edit: okay so I'm gonna turn it into a fanfic. Someone help me with planning out the plot? If you're into that, dm/comment that

"this term was invented by a bigot, stop using it" can we please STOP tracking everything in our society back to its origin and after finding out the origin is horrible, declaring the thing itself horrible? Like, no, the person on the street using a term that you can trace back to the abuse of minorities has NOTHING TO DO with those origins, and no, they will still not have anything to do with it if they keep using language as it exists today instead of digging through historical anecdotes all day long to determine what language people can and cannot use. If there's not enough connection nowadays between the cultural context around a term and the one it had when it originated to have practical meaning, just... Stop being an asshole to people about it. I'm not saying stop analyzing how language interacts with culture, just PLEASE stop acting like that principle is a rule of morality you get to enforce on other people.