Eating Disorders - Tumblr Posts

The Borderline Personality Disorder subtypes. Theory developed by Millon, though not officially recognized as subcategories of the disorder. Crossover is common, but subtypes do help with treatment since people present differently.

Notes from a Petulant Borderline

I'm a mix of quiet and impulsive.

My brother and I were hugging, he's like a huge teddy bear, and he stopped me from parting and was rubbing my back and said, "Are you okay? Your spine is so boney!" Ksjshdjekekdh!!!!!! Yes!!!!! Verbal affirmation!!!!!

For the love of my mother, please don't let me binge today!!

I've planned a higher intake today because we're going to a restaurant for Mother's Day. I'm planning on just tipping the 1000 scale, it'll probably come to about 1200, which is my general bmr. This is the plan:

Glass of water, no ice (for digestion) Cappuccino 250-300ml - 80-100 Ask for tabasco (spicy make metabolism🔥) Chargrilled rump steak 200g - 422 Roquefort sauce 150 ml - 240 Garden Salad 2 cups - 24 Total: 800 (786) One of the following: Castle lite 300ml - 100 Rainbow paradise cocktail - 228 Gin and tonic watermelon - above 200 Amarula hot chocolate - 300ish

The calories are not on the menu or website, so I'm relying on the internet, which isn't always accurate. Thus, I'm rounding it to 1200. I find if I just keep track of my cals, I generally don't binge. If anyone has tips for digestion I'd be so grateful😇

I can't tell you how mad I am at you lot!!!!!!

So no one thought to tell me that fat-free, plain cottage cheese has 70 cal for half the tub (125g) and 13.5g of protein?!?!?!

You guys?????

Update: I wouldn't say I binged, but I did go over my cal target by about 250. The salad was higher than expected, and I had the amarula hot chocolate. When I came home, I tried to have the things I'd been craving, like wine and half an orange. But then I got hold of the sweets I'd been saving and ate a few of those🫠 so I took the amount I went over and subtracted it from today's target. Hopefully, I'm at my next gw tomorrow.

For the love of my mother, please don't let me binge today!!

I've planned a higher intake today because we're going to a restaurant for Mother's Day. I'm planning on just tipping the 1000 scale, it'll probably come to about 1200, which is my general bmr. This is the plan:

Glass of water, no ice (for digestion) Cappuccino 250-300ml - 80-100 Ask for tabasco (spicy make metabolism🔥) Chargrilled rump steak 200g - 422 Roquefort sauce 150 ml - 240 Garden Salad 2 cups - 24 Total: 800 (786) One of the following: Castle lite 300ml - 100 Rainbow paradise cocktail - 228 Gin and tonic watermelon - above 200 Amarula hot chocolate - 300ish

The calories are not on the menu or website, so I'm relying on the internet, which isn't always accurate. Thus, I'm rounding it to 1200. I find if I just keep track of my cals, I generally don't binge. If anyone has tips for digestion I'd be so grateful😇

Does anyone else feel like meta days are a bit of a scam? I'm not saying that they don't work for people, just that they don't seem to work for me. Who knows, maybe if I didn't eat 3x my usual limit, I might actually have been at my gw2 today, instead I'm 300g above..

Am I doing the meta days wrong?

"Some research says that L-theanine can help in losing weight. The combined effect of L-theanine and caffeine can reduce triglyceride and non-esterified fatty acids (NEFA) levels and assist in lowering cellular fat accumulation"

I read this somewhere else on tumblr as well, so I'm happy to say that I am now taking L-theanine with my coffee and usual vitamins (and a probiotic because I had a bug)

Ps. I initially started taking L-theanine for stress and anxiety. That's what my brand is marketed as💌

I keep the 30 day thinspo challenge in my notes app, but I thought I'd just share the ones that I've answered so far. So here it goes:

19 Feb - day 1

Hw: 60

Sw: 55

Cw: 52.6

Gw1: 50

Gw2: 48

Gw3: 46

Ugw: 45

* it's May now, but I answered these earlier.

20 Feb - day 2

I am 155 cms/5'1. I do like my height, I think it's sweet. But it makes losing weight and looking thin a lot harder. Because I have to eat less than someone that is taller than me.

Darn darn darn darn!!!!!

I forgot that this is why I fast the whole day and only eat between 6pm and 8pm!

I had a small slice of carrot cake with icing (122), and all I can think is that I need to eat now. This is the first time I'm actually feeling like I might binge in three weeks!!

What do I do??? Kinda don't want to drown in tea and water, but I will if I have to.

Ps. Please don't be mean. That will just make me eat for emotional reasons🥲

22 Feb - day 4

My greatest fears about weight loss are as follows:

• gaining the weight that I lost

• being really weak and unalive when I do reach my goal

• thinking it's not enough and wanting to go further

• my mom making me gain it all back.

• my gw not looking good on me

02 May - Day 15

I would like to be vegan because that allows for fewer calories, but my mom would never allow it for that same reason. Plus, it's so expensive to be vegan.

COUNTERPOINT, YOUR HONOUR, WE COULD MASSIVELY HURT THEM INSTEAD

I present, Self Aware and Self Depreciative Dream.

[TWs: dealing with an ED (throughout post), mention of panic attack though it does not occur. Marked where the panic attack mentions happen]

Dream is an idiot, but he can see that Hob doesn't like him too much, especially now that they're spending time together when no one else is there, and Hob isn't obligated to hold up the façade that he doesn't like him

He's there because Death asked him to be, and he makes sure Dream knows that

Dream withdraws a little more, barely speaking during their meals unless he is asked a direct question, which is usually answered with a few words that provide a glimpse of Dream's massive trauma

Dream used to resist this arrangement and Hob would sometimes just swing by wherever he was hiding and literally toss him over his shoulder to take him to the car,

But now Dream feels too guilty about making this ordeal even more taxing than it has to be and just meekly follows Hob to wherever he wants to have lunch that day

This^ on top of Hob's responses to the media just really cementing his unhappiness about bothering Hob

This whole thing becomes How Hob Learns About His Costar's Various Traumas: The Show

Dream was trying, but still wouldn't eat much

Hob could understand that suddenly trying to eat regular amounts would not be possible, so he doesn't object but tries to encourage him to get desert or an extra fries

Hob won't admit it, but he is relieved when Dream starts to look a little healthier after some time

He also starts to learn that Death was Not Kidding when she said he's awkward

He's extremely skittish (Hob thinks it's a wonder that he never noticed before) and literally hides from fans and paparazzi, especially when they're loud and hurling questions

Hob found it annoying that Dream would be basically cowering, and leaving Hob to deal with them, until he found out about his sound hypersensitivity

Dream feels too much, and it makes it harder for him to express himself without being massively awkward

It's worse on some days, and Dream speaks even less than normal

Hob is regularly dragging him to meals, so Dream's exponential reduction in speaking becomes rather obvious

Now, Hob thinks that Dream is upset about him not fully hiding his dislike, being completely used to everyone loving him

And Dream thinks that now that he's approaching a slightly more healthy weight, Hob thinks he looks hideous and can't stand to even see him anymore but is staying for Death

Thinking of this, he checks his weight some time before they are supposed to meet

Bad idea™. Dream decides that he needs to lose weight again and tries to cancel their "appointment." He also mentions that it would probably help in getting the paparazzi to back off

Hob, armed with Death's blessing to (softly) yell at him, shows up at Dream's trailer to physically drag him to his car, as he had in the initial days of this set up [TW Panic attack mentions start]

He finds him curled up under his little desk, clearly fighting off a panic attack

Even with how much he hates Dream, he can't exactly leave him to suffer like this

He gently coaxes Dream out of his hiding spot and guides him to stop hyperventilating and calm down, which floods Dream with more affection and care and most prominently: guilt

He's exhausted after staving off the attack for so long and just collapses in Hob's grip [TW Panic attack mentions end]

Exhaustion=no filter, so he ends up blurting out everything he feels about Hob in the middle of a flood of apologies about being such a burden, looking horrible and for existing at all. Or maybe just the latter

Hob finally realises exactly how much of an awkward idiot his costar really is

Now Hob is saddened about Dream thinking he looks horrible, because he is really one of the most beautiful people on the silver screen. This is the moment when he really realises the effects and causes of an ED, the moment when his research makes sense

Oh no, what to do except reassure him that he is not hideous and not a burden and he has actually kinda started enjoying hanging out

Dream isn't convinced, obviously

So Hob pulls him into a hug, the same way he had to when cameras were rolling on their third project together and tells him about how the way Dream made him feel watching one of his earliest projects was a catalyst in Hob saying yes to Destiny's offer

He hadn't really realised it, but Dream had grown on him again through this ordeal, as he learnt what makes his colleague tick

"Come on. You need therapy, but you're beautiful, and we're going to go to an ice cream parlour and get the largest fucking sundaes that have been made in the history of the world."

"Stop fucking complaining you don't have a choice" but also really gently pulling Dream to his feet and letting him hang on to his arm because he's fucking exhausted

Dream falls asleep during the ride and cat-heat-seeks his way into Hob

Hob... can't bring himself to pull away

This isn't two cents I am approaching a dollar

OK @youcanseethecosmos I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR AU IT HAS TAKEN OVER MY BRAIN

[TW: mention of ED, fainting. I have marked where both these start and end]

Dream, being the most introverted person imaginable, hides in his trailer almost all the time, alternating between rehearsing and writing

He does like to help out the BTS departments whenever he can, and can often be found quietly painting props and sets whenever there are less people on set

Hob on the other hand is the guy always telling jokes and making people smile on set

Sometimes people accuse him of getting the jobs he does by pulling strings via Dream, but then meet him and realise just how sweet and talented he is

Dream seems to forget that he's an A lister most of the time and does not know how much power his word/recommendation has in the industry

This is why Hob never really snaps back at Dream's accidental barbs. He has fallen in love with his new world and cannot exactly risk Dream saying he is not worth working with

(Dream would never say that but he is an idiot)

Hob is friendly with Death and often goes out for coffee with her whenever she is in the area

Dream is closest to Death out of all his siblings - she is his confidante about everything that even mildly bothers him, even if it takes a bit of prodding to get him to spill - and she makes it a point to regularly visit sets of projects he's in so he can unwind/let out everything he keeps bottling up

These visits are some of the few times Dream doesn't hide in his trailer, and they can be found chatting on a couch or floor or something until Dream falls asleep (going off on the point about Dream sleeping between takes)

Dream is always cold, and seeks out sources of warmth like a cat, but only when he's asleep, because he's too awkward to do so casually enough when he's awake, and holds back anyways because he doesn't want to be a burden. He curls into Death's side once he drops off, and she has never and will never tell him about it [ED mentions begin]

Dream has an ED, as a result of being in the movie business for so long, which is why Hob hasn't ever seen him eat, despite having known him for so many projects

He thinks Dream is so lean/slender because he just works out a lot, but is always a little alarmed whenever he has to touch him for any takes/photos/etc because his bones seem to be literally hanging out

He's always worried until exactly the moment Dream opens his mouth and says something mean

(I know you have something planned about The Big Reveal™ but my brain fixated on Dream having an ED and went off)

In one movie, Dream is to have a shirtless scene and he goes into overdrive with his workouts so he looks Perfect™, plus it's with Hob so he's even more anxious about looking good. He also subconsciously starts restricting his food intake even more. [Fainting mentions begin]

When filming the scene, he does look great, but in a slightly sickly way. The script calls for him to "faint" into Hob's character's arms, but he actually passes out

Hob thinks it's just his usual stellar acting and magnetic fervour that he brings into each role and scene

Until the director yells "Cut!" and Dream... doesn't wake up.

Cue panic

Death is conveniently on set that day, and realises what's going on

Oh no, we need to take him to his trailer and need a big strong man because he obviously can't walk there himself

Hob, thoroughly confused about what to feel, takes Dream to aforementioned trailer

While Death takes care of his idiocy, she ends up ranting about how he is Utterly The Stupidest, Most Self-Centered, Pathetic Excuse For An Actor on This, Or Any Other Form of Media, and simply cannot take care of himself or even ever say what he means

Hob, awkwardly hovering around and trying to not get in Death's path, asks what happened to his dearly detested

"He's been starving himself for this stupid scene. Probably hasn't drunk anything in a day or two."

Oh shit now things make a bit of sense

Hob is now extremely overbearing when it comes to making Dream eat regularly, now that Death has given him her blessing to yell at him to eat [All TW mentions end]

Death has also now informed him about how awkward he actually is, and how often he ends up implying exactly the opposite of what he means

Oh shit, he's trying to compliment me.

I've gone overboard and it is now very AM. Good night.

Me: (gets up too quickly)

*vision gets fizzy* *brain gets dizzy*

Me: (humming the line from I/me/myself) I've been feeling lightheaded... Since I lost enough-

Me:

Me: OH THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT BY-

Me:

Me: "light hearted since I gained enough weight back to cover my-" oh my fucking GOD that's about recov-

Me:

Me: wait shouldn't skeleton appreciation day have just given it all away?

That's the point where I should say, DON'T FUCKING DO THAT TO PEOPLE.

Tumblr won't help them. It will send them the number of a hotline and delete their account, and then they'll just be left without their online support and with a feeling that they're too broken for society. Because this report option literally does nothing but to report someone for the "promotion" of self harm, which is a, framed as an offense, and b, 90% of the time is just targeted at people who are just crying out for help. That could leave someone way, way worse. Don't do that. Instead, the best thing you can do is offer to talk. This CAN actually save a life, unlike forcing someone to lose all their online friends.

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

Sparse - Novelty daughter

to everyone who's ever written a comic about their experiences with an eating disorder, thank you for your service o7

seeing people talk candidly about it helped chill a lot of ocd thought spirals about my own weight, like the time i weighed 130 and said that was "overweight for me"

i don't know if i would've developed any of the more severe compulsions, but the way i was thinking about it was definitely unhealthy – now i simply don't care what i weigh, and my body and mind are all the better for it!

so thank you to anyone who's been open about eating disorders or body positivity. seriously 💙

It's fun to have ed friend

I have one

Why is that fun ?

Because we hype eachother

We remind ourselves that we have a goal

And for me it helps me to keep motivation for not eating or eating less

You should find someone like that

I like everything about ed really....

But feeling cold all the time ?

Please no

I can feel bad physically but not cold

Even fireplace is not helping

The way I eat better (that means less and burn more) when I'm out of my house (on a trip or smth) is just amazing

I can feel, and see, the fat disappearing out of my body, it feels so perfect