AMORTENTIA ; Joshua

AMORTENTIA ; joshua

view the whole series here!

DESCRIPTION ᝰ The first time they met was when she reached for a chocolate frog which he helped her reach and after that, they’ve been seeing each other everywhere. A story of how a Slytherin became undyingly soft for a Hufflepuff

WARNINGS ᝰ unrequited love, slytherin!reader x hufflepuff!joshua, one beat up scene, y/n is a sexual assault survivor!!!!, themes and trauma of sexual assault

PAIRING ᝰ hong joshua x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ᝰ 16.7k words

BEFORE YOU READ:

this ends in a cliffhanger but i'm unsure of what to do after it. so i wanted you guys to decide whether you want me to make a part 2 immediately or just continue the series and upload jun's part next.

the poll will be at the end of the story and i'll pin it to my page too! i'll tag you in 24 hrs and tell you guys what i'll do.

anyways, enjoy!!!

A Quaffle passed your sight as you cascaded from the great height. Home is when you’re meters off the ground, ass on a broomstick and pride worn with the Slytherin Quidditch uniform. 

Eric and Sunwoo were hot by your side, but their skill couldn’t compare with yours. You sent Sunwoo a minute smile at the furrow of his eyebrows, all his concentration on the Quaffle. Even the goggles he wore didn’t protect the falter as he caught your gaze, wondering why you were smiling at him despite your cold shoulder most of the time. 

Only it couldn’t be helped when you saw the underclassmen trying hard, pride pleasing you that he was working hard to beat you.

You sighed, turning back around and speeding on your broom. Hands steady and easily finding the Quaffle again, Eric’s hands nearly at it. It was moments before he would meet with utter distress as you swept through the air. A whistle let you know it was game over.

“Aw, man!” Eric yelled grumpily.

You let the Quaffle drop from your fingertips, not bothering to watch it touch the ground. Yuna, one of your managers, had quite the liking for wanting to catch the falling balls. You glide to the ground without another look, the others in your team following suit. You kicked your legs off your broom, the stick tumbling to the ground.

“That was one-hundred-fifty to eighty, I believe.” your main manager, Lia announced, her hands with a clipboard and a pencil, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Disappointment aroused the younger members of the team.

“It’s not fair, you guys always win!” Sunwoo argued.

You looked at him, his face contorted into a pout and a glare.

He really wanted to win...you liked that competitiveness. Then only, in a real game, he would play his best. He was a Chaser after all.

“Hey, we gave you guys Ryujin this time.” Jun, the vice-captain of the team, answered.

“Yeah. We gave you a chance to find the Snitch but you guys didn’t. Who’s problem is that?” you asked them. The younger members couldn’t say anything.

“You can’t deny. Jun and Y/N alone are a powerful duo for this team. If you guys lose either of them, it would be the end for the team.” Yuna bantered, holding out the crate of water bottles. Hands attacked it mercilessly, everyone going for their individual water bottle.

You didn’t say anything about what she just said, but you did accept it silently. Jun was an excellent Beater and you were Chaser, Captain and realistically, the ace of the team. Without one of you, the team would be at stake.

“You hear that, Y/N?” Jun nudged you playfully by the elbow. He loved hearing those types of compliments reeling from others’ mouths. Almost as much as compliments honouring your looks and honestly, you didn’t know what to say to that. It was like you grew up enduring his over-confidence. Though, if you weren’t the leader of this team, you couldn’t even begin to see in your head how the team would’ve turned out. They all would’ve been little servants of Junhui, the Beast Beater.

“Guys, guys!” You all turned your heads to see Wonyoung sprinting down, her hand high in the air. How she looked that beautiful while running, the secret remained with her genes but it would be a lie to state that everyone didn’t stop for a second to cherish in the angel’s running. Wonyoung, the currently benched first-year Beater, stopped at last in front of you all, looking like she was going to spur her words out but couldn’t because of how much she was running.

“Where did you run from?” the Keeper, Kevin, as if it was any much of a good time, asked.

“F-From the back of the—does it even matter?” the tall girl questioned, her eyes squinted as she gave Kevin a querying look. He had the energy for asking questions that surely didn’t matter. Sweat glistened her forehead under the light atmosphere. “They’re gathering to leave to Hogsmeade in ten minutes. If you want to pack up and leave, let’s go!”

The idea of going to Hogsmeade at a time like this sounded surpassing. You had quite some stuff to do before even thinking of doing so. You looked over at Jun for ideas but the third-year Vice-Captain seemed pretty chill about it.

“I say, we go. How about you, Y/N?”

You looked to your team where pleading eyes abode to convince you. For starters, you weren’t a very lenient person to please nor convince so this was the most they were doing without getting on your nerves. You gazed through each individual staring back at you with cutesy eyes and a sweaty face, belatedly feeling the tiniest bad that your efforts as Quidditch Captain were going to dissipate if you weren’t fit to treat your team at least humanly.

So you gave a little smile. “Fine, but here’s the plan...Lia, Yuna, Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric start packing up the stuff. The rest of us will get changed and then we swap in five minutes, so that Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric can go get changed. Then, we run. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

And just like that, you and your group of green dispersed in the foggy fields getting to your designated locations to do your things.

After packing up the equipment and changing, you were running towards the back of the school in a hurry to find yourself in McGonagall’s annoying nearness within no time, or more like, near late time. Fortunately enough, McGonagall was the type to not see differences in houses even if she took the Gryffindor’s pride to her heart. Unlike Snape who was always on your side no matter what. But if she saw you even a second late, you wouldn’t be excused and she would always wave you with: “Should’ve been here five seconds earlier.”

Had she been a dark witch, you would’ve told your auror parents to get rid of the woman.

Though, luckily enough, you were able to get there quick enough to find her just taking out her clipboard. She gave you and your Quidditch team a stern look in between.

“May I suggest that you make sure that your extra-curricular don’t clash with the times we’re not at school because it would be unfortunate for you to miss out on this. It’s a good way to relax for you students,” she said. And the group of students gathered around her agreed simultaneously.

You didn’t understand if it was a tactic to hinder your team from training more or actual advice, but you willingly wanted to listen to that piece of advice anyways. Maybe you should push Quidditch a few hours earlier on Saturdays so that you can go to Hogsmeade.

“We will be leaving now and no being bad, especially you, Weasley twins!” The woman turned around with a chuckle from Fred and George Weasley, walking down the icy path. Your team took in the snow environment as you cascaded down the group of students to bake in each other’s proximity and relish in your time together.

If you were being true to yourself and for once, not relentless nor greedy, you and your team had a stabler connection with each other than the school's other teams. Which not only made you feel superior but gratified. Because the team you had strived strong together and even the managers and the benched member felt like family, you were simply reliant on each other to the point that you were more than friends. You were all like family.

You could see it in the way you didn’t mind that Tzuyu would link her arm around yours or that Ryujin was hitting Kevin for twerking in the middle of the street and the how you all laughed in harmony together while another man stares. To which, Junhui replied: “Whatchu looking at?”

When the other person floundered away, supposedly an average citizen of Hogsmeade village, another laughter rocked through the members of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. You hit Junhui as he barked with laughter.

“You’re so rude, oh my God!”

Junhui yelling at the old man obtained you to apprehend that you were messing around so much that you didn’t come to the realisation that you were already treading into the village Hogsmeade. It seemed that the younger members were already finding themselves looking around, wowing at the Christmas decorations amidst the village. It shocked you too that they were already getting ready this time in November. However, you were amazed at certain decorations that were better than others. People didn’t fool about Christmas at Hogsmeade. Preferably no one jokes about Christmas in Hogwarts too. It was pretty huge over there as well.

From the delicious banquet to the present-opening morning in which you trade and replenish the air with gratitude.

“Please, please, please, can we go into Honeydukes?!” Lia asked, coming to your free side and taking over your arm.

She pleaded with her eyes. You remembered it like it was just yesterday—how she used to be so scared applying for her position as manager and here she was, for once, acting like you weren’t a ticking time bomb close to exploding. You allowed her to link her arm in, thinking about the thought of Honeydukes. It felt nice to be in the lead sometimes.

“Sure, why not? Where else would we go anyways?” you asked, leading the two girls in the direction of the infamous candy shop. The boys, Tzuyu, Ryujin and Wonyoung were just behind.

It was going to be bustling with students in the miniature candy store. You were precise in your estimate as you entered the store. It was mobbed with Hogwarts students, sprinting around the cramped scope to bestow to their friends what tricks their candies can do and it was no astonishment. Every Hogsmeade visit, the students would infiltrate Honeydukes as it was where the primary consumption of serotonin was—candy.

If you wanted to pay Honeydukes a visit, you had to get there early. That’s what you discovered over the years.

You managed to shake loose Tzuyu and Lia, forming your way within the crowd on your own exploit of confectionery. 

It was surprising someone so cold-hearted would intrigue themselves in something as lovely as the taste of sweets. This could be said again at the end of the story, but this tale will point through a wondrous roller coaster of emotions comparable to tasting Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans in the sense that it would end with relief that the candy was over.

Subsequent to the wandering around the shop, you found yourself in front of your favourite chocolate. A small smile found its way to your lips. You’ve always liked this type of chocolate. Its gold-flared wrappings to the elegantly ripped taste of cocoa brought you to heaven and back for two Galleons and a Sickle.

The chocolate made you wriggle in serotonin, made you feel as if you were bouncing in the clouds of heaven. 

It had been a while since you had it too so you had to get it.

Just as you were about to bandage your fingers around the golden wrapping of the box, another hand reached through and got it. It appeared to be the last chocolate box stacked on the shelf too, so a broad disturbance sank your heart like quicksand that someone else also had a desire to get the final box of your favourite chocolate.

You whipped your head around, meeting a face that felt familiar. Kind eyes faced you. You backed away from the box but the boy stretched it out towards you.

“You can have it,” he told you.

“No,” You looked away, not aspiring to look at him for too long. You noticed the colour of the robes straightaway. 

Yellow stained your sight, disgusting you because you never experienced talking to a Hufflepuff face on. It was always through someone. This was the first time in all your years in Hogwarts a Hufflepuff has actually approached you and that alone said a lot about the type of person you were.

“Have it,” you told the boy. He must’ve been in the same grade as you because he looked more mature than most of the students in the shop.

“I insist. I didn’t really want it anyway, I was just taking it because you were—“

You squinted your eyes, wondering if you were certainly hearing stupidity or it was just you. Suddenly, a hand made contact with you. Whipping your head to the right, you made out the face of your best friend.

“What’s going on here?”

“I was just leaving.” A small smile covered his lips. The obscure Hufflepuff pushed the box into your hands and swung around, shouting out to what resembled to be his friends and followed to merge with his group. You looked at him.

You were staring so hard at the back of his head you didn’t realise that Junhui was blabbering about something—probably nonsense again. You weren’t sure.

“Hey, Jun,” you said, interrupting whatever he was talking about. “Who was that kid?”

“Pfft,” he replied, widening his eyes and getting saliva all over your face.

“Yah, Junhui!” You wiped your face desperately, not noticing the stares you were suddenly getting. The saliva luckily rid your face as you were alarmed to be scarred by his spit forever. Only one of the many perks of being Jun’s best friend, you accepted it as a rare privilege, in fact. You loved being spat in the face—sarcasm involved. “Why would you do that?”

He laughed, slapping your arm. “My bad.”

“Get to the topic.” you glared, delivering a glance at the Hufflepuff. “Who is he?”

“You don’t know him?”

“No, I don’t. Why would I ask that then?”

“Oh my God, Y/N.” Jun fake-sighed. “You don’t pay attention, geez. He’s Joshua Hong, does that ring a bell?”

And it felt like a thousand bricks crashed your head. You remembered who it was. The familiar kind eyes came into view again as you marked the prior vision of him accepting a badge fixed on his chest fled into your mind. You recollected that night as the same night when you got your Prefect badge. He got his Prefect badge and Head Boy badge.

Not only that, he was in your dull History of Magic class and Potions.

Now it made sense that he was giving you the chocolate box.

It was not only because he was a Hufflepuff but additionally for the reason that he was a Prefect and Head Boy, he had to keep his kind status up since he was liable for his entire house.

“So he just gave you that?” Jun asked, eyes wide when you told him what happened.

“Yeah, he did. Weird.”

“Yeah, but no. He’s known for doing that around the school. Maybe you should keep your eyes out in case he does anything else…remotely kind…exclusively to you?” Jun suggested. You didn't discern the tease in his voice.

You exhaled and then linked your arm around him even though the touch of another male's skin made you remotely disgusted. It was just too exhausting to think about. You rather go about your day without having unnecessary things in your head.

“Y-You’re holding me.”

“Right I am, Junhui. Let’s go pay for this.” You waved around the box of chocolates, putting an end to the conversation prior to him questioning anything else.

Junhui didn’t question anything else, knowing this was one of the times his best-est friend was actually revealing skinship. Instead, he walked you towards the counter, passing by Joshua’s group of friends. Your eyes managed to wander into the group unwillingly, filled with students from other houses with the exclusion of green robes.

To find that he was already looking at you. 

Was there a possibility that he did something to the chocolate—

No, he doesn’t seem the type.

He smiled.

I’ll never know.

You glared his way and rotated your head back, presenting a grin to the sweet old woman who worked at Honeydukes Sweet Shop, ready to buy your candy.

“Don’t forget, you owe us butterbeer, Captain~” Eric sang into your ear.

―

The dead have too much to say.

That’s what you concluded by the next History of Magic class. Because the teacher you had was an annoyance to the society of wizards and witches. Like, go rest or something? You rather catch Peeves the Poltergeist around the school than deal with Professor Binn’s shenanigans.

You flipped through the pages of your workbook, not really focusing on the class. No one was, no one ever did. In fact, every one of his classes you had attended made you want to drop your head to the table and sleep. Junhui not being in the class made it more vexatious as there was no one else to talk to. The other Slytherins already had friends and were sitting with them, talking and having a good time, leaving you singly at the back of the classroom.

You searched around the classroom, seeing if there was anything interesting to even lay your eyes on. Nothing.

It was peculiar how Binns’ classroom was set up, it was different to a standard Hogwarts classroom. It was one of those classrooms that had rows and rows in an ascending manner in the shape of a semi-circle, so it was easy to fool around and not have the ghost catch you when you were off task. 

As you were busy scanning around the classroom, your sight landed perfectly on something you hoped you never saw again.

Alas, there it was. The same kind eyes you were trying to avoid since the commencement of the class.

How Joshua Hong had been looking at you, you didn’t know but what you did know was that you didn’t like it one bit. 

You looked back at the teacher, aspiring to find more enthusiasm in the lesson than the Hufflepuff but it was painful as the teacher tended to slur his words into a hybrid of saliva. And then you were inquisitive about Joshua again so in a matter of seconds, you were glancing across the classroom to see if his eyes were still on you.

They weren’t—they were back on the teacher, thank God. A breath of relief slipped through your lips, only to be caught by you again. Suddenly, he looked at you. Your stomach drove itself in nervously, determining the situation awkward because you were never the type to be accused of making friends with Hufflepuffs. Nowhere near that behaviour.

You didn’t have time to shift your eyes too because he caught you into a smile.

It annoyed you—his face, the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled at you. He appeared so punchable with that smile like he had some authority over you that you were hesitant of. That was the last thing you would let a Hufflepuff have of you, it'd be like someone striping your dignity off of you.

And because of that, it made you smile back, sarcastically.

“So, when did the witch trials happen, L/N?” Your smile was revoked. You whipped your head around so fast as did everyone to look at you to answer the question. Binns was looking at you with the same straight face.

Since you were just so out of focus, the first thing that slipped out of your mouth was a: “Your mum.”

Ugh, Jun! You need to stop saying that around me. 

Your face heated up. You felt yourself drown in your own misery almost instantly that you looked down at your textbook for some sort of virtuous support. Inanimate objects don’t give that, do they?

It was worse in a second. Because before you knew it, inhumane wails sought the class. You’ve never heard such blues leave a human before and it concluded that it wasn’t a human. You felt your disgrace pass more profound with the race of your heart as you looked at Professor Binns.

“M-My mother died in a terrible Muggle accident! How could you bring that up, L/N? I am so offended!” This was the first time that you were seeing Binns so expressive but that was not the point―at all. You had a problem that you did not want to be dealing with.

Someone save me. Anyone, anyone.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see any of your peers looking back at you with humour lit in their eyes. Not only did you make yourself a fool to your classmates but no one was stopping the crying ghost either. It was an eventful day and it was only your third period. You felt your breath clog up in your chest and it was held there for several seconds until the bell rang.

A soundly sigh escaped you as you practically rushed to pack up before anyone in the class could move an inch. “Apologies, Professor Binns. Didn’t know your mother died. I hope she, um, rests in peace or whatever.”

Binns was in another round of tears at the completion of your apology and you were hurrying out of the class, acting as if you didn’t hear his crying. The last thing you wanted to do was comfort a teacher. Your reputation was far more influential than a dead man.

So as you cleared your books off of your desk, you mourned in the fact that the Binns’ situation may have scuffed your standing a bit. You were speeding off to your next class not stopping by any familiar faces that would only give you a run for their money—tease you, your roommates would relentlessly taunt you for the fool you made out of yourself.

You ran out of the classroom, practically wanting to fly.

“Y/N!”

You turned back around, realising that you left the sweet Wonyoung behind at the entrance of your classroom. She seemed to be waiting for you.

“Hey.” you greeted your benched Beater.

She grabbed your shoulders authoritatively, pushing you away from your classroom door where you were in the way of others coming out from the History of Magic class you wished to have forgotten. It was typical for the towering Wonyoung to do so, her generosity was regarded as the taste of honey.

“You seem a little feverish,” she said as she furrowed her eyebrows worriedly. Once again, worrying over her dear Captain that benched her for all she was worth.

“I’m fine. What is it? You should be going to your next class.” you told her dismissively.

“Ah, it’s nothing much but Jun told me to tell you that he wasn’t in class because he skipped.”

You nodded, knowing that was the case anyways. “Okay, get to class now.”

You sauntered down the hallway, requiring to go to the dungeons for your Potions class. Wonyoung tailed on casually, her face peeking between your shoulder. There was a suggestive consideration coming from the girl as you walked down the employed halls. As a Prefect, it was an anchored duty for you to be punctual. You couldn't be messing around here with your underclassmen.

“Did anyone tell you how beautiful you look lately?”

The compliment didn’t even slit through the outer part of your softness (was there even any?). But you knew exactly what her intention was. You glanced at your underclassmen, furrowing your eyebrows, though not showing much agitation at the same time.

“Is this your way of running from the benches?” you asked blankly.

The beauty jutted out her bottom lip at you, her eyes becoming more doe than they seemed to be a few seconds ago. She was good at using her charms.

“Please.”

“Sorry, Wonyoung. I would love to have you not be benched but we already have two remarkably strong Beaters. I know it’s hard on you...” you told her in an attempt to comfort someone. You didn’t do this often, she should appreciate it as much as she could.

“You have no idea.” the girl replied and the once sugarcoated words were drawing out with grief you’ve never seen from her. She was the happiest on the team, the hype woman for everyone and you seeing her this vulnerable had to mean that the girl was fading in her sweet ways, one by one, slowly.

“If it helps, I used to be benched too.”

Wonyoung’s eyes widened. You smiled softly at her.

“Seriously? I don’t believe it.”

You looked away from her intriguingly sparkling eyes. It was a big insecurity of yours and as much as some members of the team knew about the past preceding their arrival of the team, you would never speak on it, requiring the situation to stay succumbed in the happenings for your individual mental health.

“Ah, long story. But the captain was bad, Jun and I made a plan and overthrew him. He was a perverted little shi —“

Before your words could come out themselves, something hard bumped into your back. You jumped, turning around to see what it was.

For once, you were so within talking to another human being that wasn’t Junhui that you didn’t know the crash would make you cross. You were trying to talk to your underclassmen heart-to-heart, who would be so ignorant to destroy that dainty time?

Joshua Hong would.

You glared at the boy as he picked up some books that got knocked down.

Fury rested inside you, finding yourself try to maintain stability for the sake of comprehending his excuse. The last time you checked he was assaying to make eyes with you in the class not even ten minutes ago and now this? You were so close to just grabbing him by the throat and shaking him until his head popped off and wheel down the hallway.

“So sorry, Y/N! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I—“

“Save it.” you seethed.

Joshua stared at you, unbelieving of your response, as if. He better start believing it because you weren’t falling for his nice guy scheme. Whatever this was, you wanted it to stop. You didn’t like it.

Just looking at the way a few strands of black scattered across his forehead, messily and his stupid, sorry eyes made you annoyed.

You couldn’t stand him.

Grasping Wonyoung’s wrist, you tugged her towards you. “Let’s go, Wonyoung.”

—

Were you hard on Joshua? In your fine opinion, absolutely not. The guy had it coming for him, why would he even try his chances with you? Nevertheless, like every human, there was this slight conscious asking you if what you did was moral? As in, what if it really was an accident? Your attitude or personality couldn’t fall for such idiocy. Which was why you let the Joshua situation slip between your finger like quicksilver and by the next morning, it was like he didn’t even exist.

You did your usual morning routine from showering and putting on your school robes, answering questions from younger dormmates and breaking up fights, as a Prefect should. You weren’t one to mess with when coming to fights and the students who encountered you felt the same.

You left for The Great Hall beforehand, without Junhui as you didn’t have the same first period together. Times when the two of you weren’t in the same class, Junhui would lay back with other friends and you would too but no one was going to the dining hall as early as you, so you were all along among your travel to The Great Hall.

It wasn’t until you entered The Great Hall, the early morning chirping dwelled inside your eardrums, awakening you. You walked down the pinched gap between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table after recognising a group of familiar girls near the front of the table to sit with. Students here and there avoided the contact with your shoulder, giving you free way nonchalantly as you walked, so you weren't paying attention to your surrounding as much as you should have been.

And then, it all happened so quick.

CLINK!

A little pot, it must’ve been the size of your palm, spilled gravy all over your uniform. Your eyes widened, the light brown colour denting the white and green on you.

In brief, you couldn’t differentiate the fine line between time actually stopping or if everyone was just scared for your reaction.

You slowly looked up, your mouth agape with offense. You found big round eyes looking back at you, widened like you. Like they made the biggest mistake ever. You examined the face, finding familiarity from the glasses to the neat Ravenclaw uniform. Sixth year, Xu Minghao, Prefect and an absolute genius one. You’ve heard about his marvellous expertise in academic work, yet didn’t care for who he was until now.

Your face churned, small chatter picking up slowly around you.

"Oh no, is she going to curb stomp him?" 

"Poor Xu Minghao. I pity him."

"Rest in peace, Haohao."

Even the teachers paused to watch. You heard an: “Oh!” from McGonagall who was making her way towards you. She was far away though. 

If you grabbed your wand now and hexed this Xu MInghao who was looking at you blankly, your rage would compensate. Your hand made its way to your pocket and—

Someone grabbed you from behind and when you looked back, your anger only furthered at the face of Joshua.

“Hong, get off me right now. I might punch the both of you in your manhoods.” you threatened lowly but grateful to the quietness in the hall, it seemed that the Gryffindor table could hear it from all across the room but not the teachers.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to when you have all that trickling down you.” he began.

You wanted to lean back and punch his face.

“Go, Joshua!” you heard a Lee Seokmin say from a distance, the insolent Gryffindor who you had once collided into after practice and being pestered by your teammates. He got one hell of a lecture from you, you weren’t sure why he was talking like he had it easy from you.

But you weren’t able to even get your word in about this mistreatment because before you knew it, you were being dragged out, out of your own will. A spell? You didn’t know, neither could you meet the eyes of McGonagall anymore because she was lashed into a conversation with Dumbledore. And this was the accurate cause why you shunned all the teachers in this school except Snape and sometimes, Hagrid.

Joshua was in lead, your body somehow hexed and following. All that flooded your mind was how wrong this was. Because it looked like you were the one that was following him despite the desperate looks from your body to him.

“Let me go and you’ll have less of a problem.” you seethed dangerously between your teeth.

Joshua smiled back at you as the two of you exited the dining hall like it was nothing. “You need help.”

Did he not get it? You didn’t want his stupid help, neither did you want to see his stupid face. “Hong, I will scream.”

“And I’ve already hexed you so I don’t see your point of trying.”

This was trivial. Joshua was acting like a whole different person. A badger once dripping with honey in his words and actions was now the one to drag you up the stairs without a question from everyone else. You were barraged with the sheer lack of care the people had around you. Did no one dare blink into the troubled face of yours and thought of helping you? That seems not to be the case.

When Joshua was pushing through the students (nicely) with his Head Boy privilege, you could tell where you were going. The one place where you had more advantage than most of your dorm—the Prefect bathroom. You saw students around you sneaking glances as Joshua entered the Prefect bathroom and you entering after him, sadly, with no choice. 

Now they wanted to stare. Oh, did the anger in you wanted to burn the whole school down.

“What the hell was that about?!” you roared when the door slammed shut behind you. Your limbs felt free, you could only assume that he took the hex off. And it was later confirmed when you saw his wand clutched in his grip.

Joshua’s eyes finally widened and you could see the fear slip into them. You weren’t falling for it. “I really wasn’t expecting you to know who I was.”

“Oh, of course, I didn’t know who you were until Mr Gentleman here decided to give me a run of his money. Last time I checked, Hufflepuffs stayed in their place.”

Joshua was quiet.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes reached the floor before a smirk sculpted his lips. Your mouth was agape at the audacity. Not once had you encountered such a Hufflepuff.

“I keep warning you—I won’t hesitate.” Your fingers found your wand tucked in your skirt, the slippery consistency of gravy between your fingers. And the vividly distressing memory of being humiliated was back.

“Okay, Y/N. Gravy is spilling between your legs, you look like a mess, and I’m the one who currently has the Slytherin girls’ spare uniform...you make the decision.”

You had been far too patient. Balling your fist, you did not hesitate in having a good run-up and punching him right in the stomach.

“You set this up! I’m seriously gonna—“

“No, wait, listen—“

“Why should I listen to a pervert who is obviously trying to bargain me into taking my clothes off in front of him after getting someone to spill gravy all over me. Do you think a Hufflepuff could ever get in with a Slytherin? And me, out of all people?” you spat, furrowing your eyebrows in disgrace.

You punched him.

Joshua clutched his abdomen, doubling over from the pain. You could feel the throb roam aimlessly within your knuckles as you retrieved it. You tilted your head sharply so the crack from the root of your neck would resonate in the bathroom. It was a known fact between the Prefects that the bathroom had a reverberation throughout.

“Stop, okay? I’m sorry. Mingyu helped me set this up. He thought if I was more upfront with my feelings, it would help me land you.” he told you, eyes sincerely drawing into yours

You seized him by the collar and pulled him inevitably closer. And with that move, it felt like Joshua’s whole body stopped working. But he let his words flow warmly.

“Land me? What do you mean by land me?”

“I have a crush on you and Mingyu planned this whole thing where I would take you out of the cafeteria and help you out and he gave me this huge script thing and I-I believed him instead of—“ His eyes could only accept fear into it.

“You expect me to believe this bullshit?” you questioned him, feeling mocked he would mess you with something like that. How low.

“Yes? Why would I lie about this? And to you? You will never find me doing that.” he challenged

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say I like you a lot and this whole thing was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have pulled moves on you because it was wrong to you and set a bad example for my underclassmen. I’m sorry for getting in your way.”

Joshua saying he liked you had no effect on you. In fact, you were fairly ashamed. How could he take a careless word from an underclassman when he had girls upon him constantly? He should’ve known what to do. Your clutch loosened on the boy, letting him from your fury grasp.

“You should be. I don’t want this crush nonsense anymore. Stay out of my way, if you know what’s good for you..” you threatened him.

Joshua couldn’t even look at you. He must’ve known from the way you were no one to be fooled with. After all, you were known for your malicious words and merciless tendencies. For him to even attempt was an exceptionally brave and stupid thing to do. You wished he never tried, you would’ve been less stressed about your day.

“Understandable…the uniform is in the third bath cubicle, have a good day.”

He doesn’t blink into your face as he left, leaving you in the Prefect bathroom alone. You let out a loud sigh, feeling the inside of you collapse from the stress. He was just hitting on you and it failed horribly. You shook your head, unleashing the tight furrow on your eyebrows. The longer you thought about it, the longer it would have an unneeded effect on you.

Right, you were merciless and angry but you had a rationale conscious. You sighed and decided to go into the third cubicle, where a huge bath was already bubbling, surprising you. You figured it must’ve been Joshua’s doing.

This is the bare minimum.

You squatted right at the edge of the concrete where the sumptuously built bathtub was and dipped the edge of your fingertips of the water. It was warm. How?

Undressing, you wondered how the boy managed to keep the bath still warm. You had to have been in the Great Hall for a good five minutes and to get to the Prefect bathroom was almost ten minutes. Dipping yourself into the bath, the water welcomed you cordially. The foam covered your nudity from above and there was no doubt in your mind that Joshua must’ve got someone to do this minutes before you hypothetically entered—the only explanation that could be offered. If there was a spell, he would’ve had to go back into the third cubicle and take the hex off.

So that meant that he went super far into planning this.

He’s genuinely interested in me…

Who cares?

A booming “woooo~” scared the living daylights out of you. Your thighs clenched tightly as you backed to your dirty robes where your wand remained in case of danger.

It was nothing to be afraid of though.

Moaning Mrytle came from under, her body loose next to you so suddenly your body paralyzed for a whole second.

“Bathing so late in the morning, are we? Classes start soon.” Her eyes lowered a little. You pushed the soapy foam closer to you despite her seeing you from under anyways. There was something about Mrytle perving on you from above that made you generally awkward. She never hid her lustful tendencies as a spirit.

“If it wasn’t for an idiot, I wouldn’t be here, would I, Mrytle?”

“Badger boy~! Oh, he’s so incredibly handsome! Ah! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t fall in love with such a heartthrob.” she said, pouting at you. She perched her face on her hand, sighing heavily. “If I was still alive and in this generation of students, I would’ve had a huge crush on him or his incredibly handsome friend.”

Something little quipped in your heart at her words. You let the sound of the Moaning Mrytle's legs kicking her legs under the water sit a little. Gears were working in your head, finding a solution to that feeling. Why were you feeling that? It was like you could coincide with what she was saying. 

But finding Joshua conventionally attractive didn’t mean you liked him like that, in fact, it was the opposite. But Mrytle must’ve known what was going on, at least more than you did. You might as well dig for more information.

“Mrytle, did he come in here earlier?”

She smiled. “Whyyyy~?! Do you have a crush on him?!”

You were afraid that the question was going to come up, but you defended yourself nicely.

“Well, it must be every girl’s inquisition if a boy has a crush on her. You would know that Mrytle, you’re such a gem!” Being nice was definitely not your forte, but you had to try to get the truth out.

But she smiled, taking it which made it all worth it. “Oh, stop it!…well, he did bring that incredibly handsome Hufflepuff Prefect in here and they were discussing something about you. I heard that older boy say that he was in love with you and it hurts liking you. They were talking about something about you but I wasn’t paying much attention. The other one’s face was such a distraction, honestly!”

No one has talked about you that way. You felt empty.

Your thoughts were getting nowhere. All you could describe was shock at the situation that was ducked. Never once in your life have you heard about another person talking about being hurt while liking you.

Your heart felt as if it was weakening, but you retained quickly, remembering that he brought you into this current situation with his stupid action plan, thinking it would make you weaker. And that instantly made you fed up. The aggression wasn't as strong anymore and you wanted for it to be badly. 

He couldn't just do that and expect to win you over, that was beside the point.

He was messing with you.

Joshua Hong was trying to distract you.

—

The moon had always captured your eyes. It was like the big glowing circle would enlarge whenever someone fed it attention and admiration, becoming more beautiful. You couldn’t help it, indicting it on the divine sight the library had of it. Nonetheless, you couldn't let go of a certain topic knacking you on the back of the head—a bigger inquisition than the merit the moon offered.

"Do you think what Moaning Mrytle said was true?" It was a day following the event at The Great Hall.

Your best friend slid to your side. He grabbed a pebble on the windowsill and flung it back, letting go at the fit angle. The rock wheeled through the gaps of the circular window frame and into the atmosphere for a stable second, awarding unneeded silence to answer your question. Both of you paid attention to the rock's adventure until it decided to stop midair and drop down at an increasingly fearful speed. 

Junhui let out a sigh and then turned around to you, leaning his figure against the window frame. 

"I mean, I don’t know. It seems like anyone would be dedicated if they were planning to embarrass themselves in front of their crush. I wonder if Mingyu bribed him.” he stated.

You could hardly see it. Even on the court, Mingyu was too much of a good sportsman. It was beyond his abilities.

“I doubt it..." You leaned against the window frame like your best friend, giggling a little."Funny how I know nothing about him and he’s confessing.”

“Okay, but what do we do now that everyone thinks he brought you into the Prefects bathroom to screw?” he asked you. It was a question he ached to ask for so long, you could see it since this morning in which he gave you the most bewildered face when he learned that the rumours were totally muddled up. Students must've thought otherwise when they saw you and Joshua on the way up to the bathroom.

“I don’t really care what they think. I just hope he doesn’t come to mess around with my breakfast times again.” you shrugged, a small smile on your face at the recollection of humiliation on Joshua's face. You felt embarrassed for him, you couldn't begin to imagine how he was feeling.

"Oh if I was him, I would be scared to death.” 

"As he should be...should we go back? I wanna sleep so bad," you suggested.

Jun pressed his lips tightly together and nodded, agreeing with you. "Me too and we have practice tomorrow too."

"That we do."

You collectively exited the library, not forgetting to wave Madam Pince a 'good night'. Jun and you made your way down the many stairs from the library, engaging in a humorous conversation, distant from the drama in your life that had been missing for a while. It didn't seem like it but Junhui was a big gossiper. You would hear everything from him before it would come from anyone and it was because of how he was always able to be at the scene of the crime. All the time.

Of course, except yesterday when Joshua was dragging you out of the Great Hall.

You felt a little uneasy on the ground floor, knowing that the two of you had to go past the Hufflepuff dormitory on the way to the dungeons. It was a pain honestly and it showed that the event affected you more than it should've.

"Not you thinking about him already."

"Boy, shut up," you told him as you took the lead into the hallway, guiding towards the dormitory to show that you weren't anywhere near thinking about Joshua.

It hadn't even been ten steps.

Your breath hobbled in your throat as you came to an instant stop. Jun knocked into your shoulder from behind.

“No, Momo. You’ve had too much to drink. Go inside, I’m gonna go get something from the kitchen and I—“

"NoOoO, I wanna see her now. She’s all I think about Joshua, she’s all I—“

Joshua was holding up a girl, trying to get her to stand upright on the wall and from the looks of it, it was something scandalous. Her eyes were dull, somewhat trying to find their way into slumber. She was drunk. Drunk as hell.

His back was facing you so there was no way he would see you. How would you slip by without him noticing? What if he sees you? Questions waved in your mind, all of 'the avoidance'. Whatever it was, you didn't want to be dealing with anything involving Joshua.

"Oi, Hufflepuff. What happened?" Jun asked loudly, leaving you flabbergasted. 

What is he doing?!

Joshua turned around, hands busy holding the girl's shoulders. He looked back at Jun and his eyes widened a little. It was moments before his view fleeted to you. You wanted to scream with frustration. Your best friend—

You were betrayed.

He didn't look at you for long, his glance gliding towards an allegedly helpful Jun. It was the truth that he was only doing this because he wanted to get on your nerves somehow.

"She drank something the sixth years gave her and now she’s drunk. I don’t know what she drank though,” he replied.

It was surprising that a situation like this would arise for a Hufflepuff. Nevertheless, you paid no mind to them conversing. You could feel Jun's eyes penetrating through you as you shied your eyes to the ground that was far more interesting than what they were talking about. The drunk girl let out yet another groan of disobedience.

"Stop, Momo," Joshua said sternly. 

Without a second after his words, you felt yourself being thrown forwards. Pushing back Junhui's hand, your jaw clenched. It took everything in you to keep your mouth shut from the words you wanted to spew out.

"Y/N here happens to be an alcoholic at a young age—"

"I am not!" you interrupted at the out-of-proportion lie. You only drank a couple of times and he knows it was for family events. The snarky smile on his face made you want to punch him.

“What I’m trying to say is she’s good at sniffing out drinks, why don’t you let us in and we can help you out?" Jun suggested casually.

Jun was in big trouble for sure. Any second now and he was going to find himself in a headlock.

"I don't know....that's not allowed." Joshua's chin tilted downwards, rejecting Jun's offer.

At least the goody-two-shoes himself wasn't letting you in anyways.

“Yeah, Jun.” you pressed, glaring.

Jun spoke up though, “Oh well, it’s your loss, really, Hong. You’ll have no idea what went into your friend’s body and you’ll have to go to the teachers and ask them if she has some kind of reaction. And won’t that be an embarrassment for you to have to tell, as Head Boy, that your underclassmen were messing around with alcohol under your nose? But I guess, it’s your decision.”

Junhui being snappy instead of being full-on aggressive was a rare scene, meaning that he was farming a lot of force to embarrass you. Of course, he was. Sometimes your misery was his happiness.  

Joshua's stare followed to the ground, yielding you relief that you weren't going to deal with him or the drunk girl. You felt a little bad for her but anything for your rep, right?

"He doesn't want us, let's go." You grabbed Junhui's wrist and dragged him down the hallway without another look. After this, you planned on having an early night so that you would have enough energy for tomorrow's practice.

“Joshua, please. I want to see Dahyun, I have to apologise to her. She’s the only reason I’m living. I—"

“Fine.” His voice stabbed in the hallways and it was plain that Joshua was aching in the drunk girl's antics. Chills ran up your body unexpectedly. He did not agree, did he?

"You heard our boy, Y/N." Jun reversed your positions, grabbing your hand instead to drag you down the hallway excitedly. A million-dollar smile was cemented on your best friend's face and dumbfoundedly, you were led by him down the hallway, helpless to understand it. There was no way Joshua, the Head Boy and Prefect and above all, Hufflepuff was letting you into his dorm. 

You clung onto Jun's hand for dear life, his clutch so loose that he would probably let you cluster to the ground if he were to let you go. 

Momo's half-shut eyes blinked into yours, reaching you right in the abdomen. She was drunk, you didn’t know what went into her body. What if it was poison? What if something horrible happened to her? God damn it.

You couldn't leave now.

Her eyes would haunt you forever then. This wasn't for Joshua, it was for her. The sudden change of heart was noticed greatly by Jun as you swayed his grip off of you. As much as you were doing this, the touch of men, you were disgusted by.

Joshua told his password in front of you and got in with the girl and with you and Jun following. Neither you and Jun were scared of basically infiltrating another house's dorm being rebellious students already but the way Joshua was worrying his lip between his teeth didn't pass you.

His lips are so plump—oh my God, what the hell am I thinking?

Your eyes widened at the side of his face, ensuring Momo that everything was going to be okay. That's how you were able to see his lips perfectly, excluding the gloom cast atop the dormitory. The thought shook you on the inside, you disliked it. Why would such a thought pass you, in the first place? Were you losing control?

“Guys, calm down. They’re just here to help Momo out. There’s no need to look at them like that. Seungkwan, take her.” Joshua announced to the many eyes staring back. You felt no astonishment to them.

A boy walked out and helped Joshua wrap an arm around Momo and bring her to comfy armchairs by the fireplace.

“If this keeps happening, we’re going to have to discuss with our companies—I mean, school. I mean, school. Why the hell did I say company?" Seungkwan patted her head slowly as she lulled her head on his shoulder without a care in the world.

"Where's the drink?" Jun asked from your side.

Joshua picked up a glass from a small table in front of him. He passed it to you. The remains of the drink were still evident on the bottom of the glass and you hoped hard that no one changed the glass while you were gone. You looked at the remains for a second before sniffing the drink, the smell already familiar to your nose.

"It's just regular ale, nothing bad will happen to her," you declared. 

The tension in the air dispersed. Joshua exhaled with relief as you put the glass back onto the table. 

"Let's go," you said to Jun, whining slightly. The longer you stayed in here, the more you wanted to die from embarrassment.

"Um, excuse me?" Joshua asked you and the desperation in you grew. Did he not understand? "How do I, um..."

"Sober her up?" you questioned. The yellow started to feel like a perpetual blot to the eyes and a steadfast reminder that he was within few feet of you.

You reached into your robes quickly and pulled out a vial that was the size of your palm. You couldn't believe you were giving away your last vial, but there was no choice. Gazing at Momo as you pass the concoction to him, sorry flooded you. Poor girl—

"Just make sure that...she doesn't drink anything handed to her."

You couldn't hold back the tongue of empathy clawing you, tormenting you. The ends of Joshua's lips quirked up slowly and you couldn't help but know exactly what that meant. The nice boy in him was going to spurt with gratefulness. Deciding quickly that it was time to go, you grabbed Jun and turned to head down the way you came.

However, a persistent word of gratitude slipped from between his lips anyways. "Thanks, Y/N!"

Disregarding him, you were beholden to find your palm on the door with a very giggly Jun on your side. As soon as you were in the hallway again, you let Jun move away from you before you punched him harshly in the chest. Even though you were doing this for Momo, he was still to blame for dragging you into it in the first place and making you blink into her face and feeling sorry for her.

To your surprise, the boy didn't flinch at all.

You almost forgot. The Beast Beater, what were you expecting?

"What was that about?!" you yelled at him.

He threw his head back, laughing at the glower you had. Was it funny? Was it really entertaining to him that you were suffering? The boil in you was proceeding to the edge as a hand weaved through your robe. Your wand was seconds away from meeting your grabby and desperate hand.

"Just teasing you..." Jun said, waving his hand dismissively. He walked towards the Slytherin dorms. You followed him, still heated but you let go of the wand for the reason that you didn't want to hex him so bad that you would get into trouble. There you went with your rational conscience again. "But hey, he's not a bad lad, you know? You could do with someone like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" If you were to know everyone in the whole wide world, Junhui would still be the person to hate Hufflepuffs the most. Overly to the extent that some of the bitterness rubbed off on you throughout the years since the two of you were practically inseparable.

“It means that you need water for your fire, an eggplant to your peach, a—"

"Jun, I'll hit you!" 

He ran away before you could even get to him.

—

The Gryffindor teacher yet again had a lot to say. With a hand clutched onto the parchment with your excellent grade, you exited the class with heat radiating on your face. She had a problem with your continuous obsession—as the woman labelled it—with talking about her when her back was turned. You had no response for once because you had no idea she could hear you.

You could assume a student told her but then again, she's McGonagall.

You let out a sigh, looking down at your Transfiguration test. 

"Good job on the test though. You must've studied hard, L/N."

You pushed the test down, unable to look at it as you strode the halls with quick, angry steps. Was there a second where you weren't mad? It was a side of you that was always growing whether you liked it or not.

It relinquished within a second when you found the show of a familiar figure by the entrance of the school. She peeked her head out tentatively before rolling her heels back in the shadows, tending her back against the wall. Her eyebrows knitted in. 

You walked up to Lia suspiciously, crossing over a bunch of first-year Gryffindors who let you go first. They whispered harshly to each other in what you could assume was talk about the person you were. Not that it mattered—everything was interesting to the first years.

You were curious about Lia's behaviour since she was meant to be at practice right now and not wandering around the castle.

"You're supposed to be at practice."

She jumped, her hands flying to her chest. "Oh, it's just you."

"What are you doing here?" you asked.

Lia avoided your eyes.

"Well, tell me." you pressed on.

"Ugh, fine," she groaned, stamping her foot on the ground. "I fake-confessed to Eric because it was a dare from Ryujin and now he thinks I'm for real. He won't stop talking to me, even during class. It’s so annoying."

She scanned your face for your reaction.

"Why would you do that, stupid?" you said, holding in a small giggle.

Lia smiled a little subsequent to your light heart towards her reason. "I don't even know. I just wanted to prove myself, I guess...but! It's whatever now. I can go with you, Captain."

She linked arms with you, notwithstanding another second and led the way through the exit of the castle. The breeze felt a little heavy. It was an overcast day, murk weaved in between the students on the late Wednesday afternoon. It was an exhausting week already and for the students to keep going felt like a burden in the disguise of an obligation.

Lia glimpsed down at your test paper on your other hand.

"Ninety-five per cent?" she questioned, an impressed hum leaving her. "I thought you hated McGonagall."

"I do. But I have parents to make proud of," you answered, walking uphill.

"Don't all Slytherins?"

The slash of green and red from a distance didn't allow you to continue your conversation with Lia. As you were on top of the hill, you could see the anger on Ryujin and Sunwoo's faces, sensing something was wrong as they were meant to be getting ready to practice.

"Gryffindors? But we booked the field!"

"That we did, kid, but we know that Bradley Ainsworth is a little persistent, isn't he?" you dangerously chided under your breath. You drew Lia with you as you stomped determinedly downhill and towards the merged teams in an obvious fickle.

But something else hit you as you got there.

"Where's Jun?" you asked.

"He's in detention," Yuna replied to you prior to looking back at the Gryffindor Captain."We already booked the field. You guys can’t just come and interrupt our practice time like that.”

It was impressive that she could talk like that even though she was only the assistant manager. You felt proud that you taught your managers well and not to take shit from other people.

"No, you didn't. Check again. We booked it today and swapped you out for Sunday." Bradley looked at you with a smile. 

What a pain to look at.

You felt your frustration reach its peak.

"Are you kidding me?! No, you didn't!" you shouted as you ditched Lia's hand aggressively. The test paper in your hand was getting scrunched with every second of your talking.

"Hoshi," Bradley demanded, smirking. Their Chaser, Hoshi, picked up a piece of paper that was apparently worth millions and above all, proving his point. Indeed, you were swapped out for Sunday, but that would mean no break for your team on the weekend. You would already spend four hours practising on Wednesdays and Saturdays. For you to practice eight hours over the course of two days would take a toll on all your bodies.

"Ainsworth, you can't just do this stuff without telling me!"

"I'm sorry, L/N. But we have practice to get to," he said and was about to leave.

“Stop. Because you know that you’re not supposed to book the field out on my day unless you have special permission! This is absurd.”

"Absurd, she says." Fred and George mimicked and Hoshi laughs loudly.

Bradley was going to get it from you today whether he liked it or not because you weren't a fan of letting you and your team not practice when they were all already changed.

"Ainsworth, I suggest kindly that you all leave the field before I tell Snape about this and land you all in detention. Oh, and won’t that be your fifth detention from Snape this quarter? Doesn’t that mean a suspension?”

He pursed his lips tightly. As expected, all Gryffindors had intimidation towards Snape as a teacher. You never fully understood it until you actually came to Hogwarts where he treated his own house better than any other house. 

“Wait…why don’t we ask outside our own perception of this…um,” Bradley looked around nervously. You scoffed, finding this aspect of him different from how he usually acted. He would act all high and mighty all the time, he walked like he owned Hogwarts, he was such a tryhard with girls too. 

You smiled back at your team.

Until he did something unexpected.

“Hong! Get over here!”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You hadn't seen Joshua Hong in two whole days and you were praying not to have to bump into him. But there he was, walking around with Momo, supposedly going to the lake.

“You are so not asking a Hufflepuff right now,” Sunwoo stated as Joshua and Momo walked over. She was looking a lot better today, you noted.

“Do you see any other alliances Slytherins have?” Bradley asked.

He was foul-mouthed and the steam of outrage touched the edge. You whisked out your wand, bringing it near his button nose. Bradley froze, brazen words leaving his mouth one second ago, all disappearing within the nanosecond. Kevin immediately pushed your hand down before things got too violent. You breathed out sharply, glaring at the Captain of the opposing team.

“You can’t just speak to our Captain like that!" Ryujin shouted at him, furrowing her eyebrows.

Bradley let out a small chuckle. “Oh, wow. Your team actually respects you, L/N. I remember what happened last time when you got—“

Triple homicide—Eric’s fist met with his abdomen, Tzuyu kicked him right in the knees and George, surprisingly, kicked him from the back. It was unexpected he was defending you but you appreciated it regardless. 

Bradley fell to the ground, his eyes widened at the abrupt fighting. Your fist was shaking as you drew it back, rubbing it slowly with the other. Tears threatened to follow down your face from the shock. 

You never really got over it...he had no title talking about you like that, you had no control over what happened then. The way his team didn't say anything and the twins glaring at him for his actions proved that he deserved it.

"What was that for?!” he had the audacity to ask

“How could you bring that up here?! You are seriously an asshole if you think we’re not going to do anything about this!" Tzuyu yelled at him.

Joshua held a hand out at the fallen Captain to your astonishment. "Calm down, the two of you. Why are we yelling here?"

Momo pulled Joshua back, letting the Gryffindor fall back to the ground with a thud. Joshua was persistent, pushing back Momo with a shoulder shrug. You felt like you should've punched him too.

“Joshua, stop—"

“No, I’m not going to stop! It can’t just suddenly be okay for her to push Ainsworth just because she wants the field.”

Tzuyu placed a hand on your shoulder, an attempt to calm you down but all you could do was push it off as a tear slid down your face. Joshua's mouth fell agape slightly at the sight. It was like he could capture every detail of you. Then he should've known what he was sticking up for, especially when it was about you.

“So it’s okay for Ainsworth to bring up how I got sexually assaulted in front of everyone?! Wow, thanks, Joshua. I can really see which side you’re on.” You left with tears, not wanting to see his face again, although, his eyes intruding when you ended your first sentence was stuck in your head. The amazingly graded test paper flew from your grips too, abandoned on the grass.

“Good job, Hong. Good fucking job.” Ryujin spoke up and you apprehended the steps of your team following you, guarding your back against a backstab you didn't expect from a person who pleads his case of crushing on you.

Was it all a lie?

—

"Where is she?" you heard Jun ask from outside the bathroom.

“She’s in there,” Eric answered and there was a moment of silence. You basked in it, letting the girls cling onto you like you were spending your last few moments with them. In truth, the younger ones didn’t know what was going on at all but Tzuyu and Ryujin knew for sure. Tzuyu was on the team at that time which was why she was the prime caretaker when Junhui wasn’t there. 

The tears just wouldn’t stop—not even when Wonyoung was wiping them away, not even when Lia was stroking your back with her soft palm, not even when Yuna was holding your hand and not even when Ryujin was laying on your shoulder. Until, of course, the door burst open with the presence of the Beast Beater.

The girls jumped in surprise.

“What did bloody Ainsworth say to you?” Jun asked, showing no action to the girls. His eyes were stuck on you defensively.

“It’s nothing, Jun.”

You didn’t understand how vulnerable you were at that moment. 

Jun’s fingers reached his temples in frustration before he grunted. He walked over to you and the girls, letting his hand reach the shoulder that wasn’t occupied with your Seeker. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but I’m here now.”

His genuineness closed the crevice where your tears poured mercilessly—you felt enlightened by Jun and in no doubt were you going to handle the circumstance yourself as you did before. You were going to talk.

Looking at the girls hopefully, they caught the message. 

“We’ll be guarding the entrance, okay?” Yuna said.

You nodded, the weight of them leaving you in a matter of seconds. They left through the tattered dark door of the second-floor lavatory in an orderly fashion, Lia peeking over at you, her eyes smiling at you lovingly. You nodded at her. She smiled and then closed the door behind her, enabling privacy between you and your best friend.

“Now, explain everything,” Junhui said, putting his hands on his hips. 

You sighed, then, you explained everything. In full detail. He nodded, taking in your words as this was the first time that Wen Junhui wasn’t at the scene of the crime. Actually, second because of the time with Joshua at The Great Hall, he was slumbering in the dorms. Junnhui listened carefully unto you told him what Joshua said.

“Hong did that?!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, he did that.” you sniffled, the tears about to come back. You were about to lose it, remembering his eyes and the understanding that hit him then. Again, it was on Joshua, himself. He messed up, you couldn’t go around feeling bad for him. But you felt so bad when he realised. He was only trying to diffuse things and not let anyone get hurt.

But he didn’t have to glare at me like that.

“He was defending him all it was worth. I’m just disappointed,” you told Jun.

“Why?!” he questioned.

“I mean, I helped him out and he just accused me of something. He doesn’t even know how shitty of a person Bradley is,” you told him.

“I’m more worried about Bradley. I think we need to show him what Slytherins are about.”

You knew exactly what that meant but you didn’t want him to do anything bad that would result him in getting in trouble.

“Don’t get in trouble for me.” you smiled through a blurry sight of Jun.

“What else can I do?”

—

“This is your final warning. Next time, I’ll actually murder you..” Jun pushed him again against the sacks of flour behind him. It was impressive how he was madder than you about this. You admired his attempts in beating Ainsworth up and you also admired his bloodied knuckles with his fine set of rings which were inherited from his great grandfather. Jun bounced back, tilting his head to the right, a crack heard clearly in the room of working House Elves.

They paid no mind to you guys beating him up, they were profoundly focussing on their work for making dinner for the thousand students that attended Hogwarts. In fact, you were sitting on one of the benchtops, enjoying a tall glass of milk and iced cookies made by the elves for you. It had been long since you knew that Dumbledore had House Elves working beneath him than the food being magicked up itself. It was an easy way for you to beat Ainsworth up in here because you threatened the elves that if they were to tell anything to old man Dumbledore, they would find themselves in a little accident—or more or less, a kitchen fire. Not that Dumbledore would ask them anyways, you would make sure that Ainsworth kept his pretty mouth shut about this after.

“Do you think it’s funny to make fun of someone’s trauma?” Sunwoo yelled, kicking him right in the abdomen. This was beyond evil but he didn’t leave you with any other choice. Ainsworth was there when you were ushered into the hospital wing for immediate care, he watched you with his eyes that were half-awake because of the drug you were under.

Tzuyu bent down to her knees into a squat, grabbing Bradley by the collar. She pushed his face into his and smirked. “It hurts now, doesn’t it?” 

Bradley whimpered.

“God, that was hot.” Junhui cleared his throat.

You all looked at him expectantly. He rubbed his knuckles in his other hand, looking at the details of the ceilings, far from realizing that you were all looking at him. Excluding, Tzuyu, who just slapped Bradley in the face. He looked back at you and you beamed slowly. Did he like Tzuyu? 

“W-What? I said it was hot in here, you know? Because—”

He was so dumb, it was literally freezing in the kitchen, you didn’t know how the elves wielded in such harsh living conditions. You shook your head and then joined Tzuyu down on the floor, squatting right in front of Ainsworth. Holding him up by his blonde locks, drenched in sweat and little specks of blood, you smiled at him. You already had your time with him before, in fact, you were the first to land an excellent kick in the groin.

“Now you know to not mess with me again, we’ll leave you to tender your wounds, how about that?” you asked, crinkling your eyes as you smiled at him. You stuffed a cookie into Bradley’s bloody mouth as he whimpers in fear. You patted his cheek gently, his eyes exhaustingly peeking into yours. “Guys, let’s go now.”

“Righty-o, Captain.” Eric began making his way through the gaps between the short countertops made especially for the elves. You followed through, a satisfied feeling closing you with a breath of relief. Sunwoo opened the door for you, letting you go first as a way to show his pride in your wondrous bravery. 

You wished you didn’t go.

The smile that was on your face disappeared within a second. You relaxed your face and walked towards the left, a dire desire to leave.

“Please, Y/N. Let me explain myself—” 

“How many times are you going to apologize, Joshua? Actually—how many times are you going to mess up? You know what? Don’t even talk to me. If I look at you any longer, I’m actually going to start feeling sorry for you.”

Joshua’s eyes were big and sad, “I—”

Jun pushed him with his shoulder, making it to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You heard her.”

You turned around and walked off with Jun.

Guilt swarmed through you, you felt that you were too harsh, you knew that yourself. The sorry in his eyes were prominent, so prominent that they shouldn’t be ignored. He was genuine—it was an innate characteristic of the Hufflepuffs and he wanted to make up for his mistakes. 

Why were you such a bad person? 

He’s a Hufflepuff.

“God, is it bad that I feel bad?” you asked under your breath, moving Jun’s hand away from you.

He smirked, nudging you with his shoulder. Nevertheless, you appreciated that he kept his voice down as your teammates fitted nicely into their own conversations. 

“Look at you being soft…no it’s not. He shouldn’t have reacted like that regardless. He basically minimized your problems.” 

How, though? You wanted to ask. How did Joshua minimize my problems when he was only trying to diffuse the heated problem between Bradley and I and was trying to make sure that no one got hurt because, in truth, that was the best for all of us? Plus, he didn’t know about my circumstance, that’s not his fault.

The realisation of your self-acceptance of the situation only made you want to bang your head on the nearest wall.

—

When Ainsworth came through to Ghoul Studies class the next day, you had to bite back a smile that was coming onto your face. There was no Jun to nudge and talk to about how his fingers were cuffed in bandages.

“Oh, Ainsworth. What happened to you?” the teacher asked, a frown settling on her lips.

“He fell off his broom during practice. It’s horrible, isn’t it?!” one of his many fangirls asked the teacher. You put your hand on your mouth, seeing how dejected his excuse was. So that was the excuse he gave to others? Ainsworth didn’t acknowledge you at all, taking a seat rows in front of you so that he couldn’t see your face.

You leaned back against your chair and smiled to yourself slightly for the rest of the class. When the class had finished, you were off on your feet swiftly to find Jun. But there was no seeing him come out of his Transfiguration class at all. You decided to pop in, at last, seeing McGonagall packing her things up with her wand. You couldn’t hold back your words at your least favourite teacher.

“Using magic for selfish needs, hm? You’re always telling us not to do that.” you scolded pretendingly, crossing your arms together across your chest. Her books nearly dropped her books down to the ground at you being in her class.

“Merlin’s beard, having you in this class four times a week is already a hassle but having you here for another day is just too much.” she sighed, shoving her wand into her robes. Abruptly, she smiled, causing you to do them. As much as you didn’t like her as a teacher, the woman reminded you of yourself at some times—the way she scolded students and her comebacks that were so blazing. They almost proved you wrong too but if it wasn’t for your own cunning remarks, you and McGonagall wouldn’t be in this puddle of disagreement and sharp words that pricked your flesh like a broken mirror.

And not to mention, there was a point in time where you were close to her. A dark time for you.

“Mr. Wen, I presume?” she asked you, walking out of the classroom. You followed her towards the door, getting there before her so you could open it wide for her. She had some things in her hands. “Thank you.”

“Of course, always. Where is he?” you asked. “Or did he skip again?”

“Ah, not this time.” the teacher told you. “I let the class go a minute earlier so I assume that he’s already feasting in the Great Hall. Very fidgety, something to tell him? Confess?”

“Oh, professor!” you exclaimed, putting your wand that you were playing with into your skirt. The teacher’s smile was not to abstain, she was undoubtedly amused at your behaviour, although, she got the wrong message. You were only excited to tell Junhui the message of Ainsworth behaviour in class that was amusing. “It’s nothing like that! Jun…please.”

“Well, the two of you seemed to be very close. One could only think so,” She was going to turn right and meaning she was going to the staff room because of the number of books she had. “Eat well, I’ve got to go drop these books.”

You couldn’t believe you talked to her nicely after these past two years.

You nodded. “You too. Bye, professor. Have a good day!”

The words slipped out before you could stop them. Though, there was no regret in them, only slight embarrassment that you would be soft around the Gryffindor. Oh, you couldn’t help it. She’s done many things for you, you could only do the bare minimum. McGonagall’s face softened. She didn’t say anything back, so you turned around and kept walking down the hallway, the aroma of food filling your nostrils quickly.

“L/N.”

You whipped your head at her. She was rooted in the same spot, her hands holding the books as if she was going to put them on the floor right then. There was an unreadable expression on her face that even you couldn’t decipher for the life of you. It was like McGonagall was questioning everything at that moment until she covered the look with a smile.

“Yes, professor?”

“If you ever need to talk again, I’m always here for you.”

You blinked a couple of times.

The nights of crying in her office were soon brought back, clenching your heart tightly. That was two years back but it felt like a lifetime away from the warm sense of her office. She was so kind to you and all you’ve been was a rude student. 

You still remembered not being able to sleep and going to hers or Snape’s office to sit there for a while just to bask in their safe presences before they would accompany you to the dorms again. It was crazy how you let it all go like it was nothing when in truth, every moment filled you with delight that someone was there for you besides Jun. 

And then, you looked at her for the house she was in. That she was just a Gryffindor, that she was not worth your care or respect.

It was a betrayal at its finest.

“O-Of course, professor. I’ll see you tomorrow for class.” Your heart pulled itself as you stepped away, walking towards The Great Hall, the aroma no longer satisfying your senses. Instead, all you could do was drown in sorrow. That was the first time in years that you spoke to the woman like another human being. You still remember being in Dumbledore’s office the day after it happened. 

FLASHBACK

“How can you let this happen, Professor Dumbledore?! How could you let such an occurrence happen to my daughter?!” your mother yelled as you held your father’s hand tightly. It felt like shame in there, you felt as if this was all your fault. Being sexually assaulted earned this trauma on you—one you couldn’t decipher then, but all you knew was that the worst came out of it and it brought the weakest side of you out. You hated it and you hated everyone. There was the thought that it could happen again.

“I apologise dearly, this shouldn’t have happened at all,” Dumbledore spoke calmly.

“Is this how you always handle situations like this, professor?” Jun’s father asked.

“Putting him in juvenile and serving time in Azkaban for a few years is not enough for you, Mr Wen?” Dumbledore questioned. “I have expelled him, he has no future at all now.”

“Her Quidditch Captain raped her and now you’re not offering anything to her. Counselling is the least you can do.” your mother yelled again. Tears pricked her eyes, drowning your heart in your stomach. Seeing her cry took a toll on you, one that felt like the worst burden in the world. You grabbed her wrist and pulled her to sit down beside you. It was quiet for a second.

The night was cold on October—it was evidently fall and the hushed breeze let in by Dumbledore’s window aroused the hairs on your skin to come to standing. 

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you.” Your mother’s hands shook as she held your face. It was sadistic—the way that guy was making you all feel, the trauma he put you and your family through. An empty hole formed inside of you, destructing you painfully slow. The sobs that reeled from you didn’t feel enough. Nothing would feel complete, nothing felt right.

“It’s not your fault, Mum.” Your hand weakly grabbed hers as you looked into her eyes. She simply pulled you into her chest, letting the two of you sob. She knew how broken you were from it because for once, you were genuinely crying sad tears in front of her. “It’s not your fault, don’t cry.”

“I know but you didn’t deserve that. At all. You’re the sweetest girl I know and you got—I can’t even think how traumatic that could’ve been.”

“It is truly such a thing nobody deserves—getting their body taken advantage of without permission. I am extremely sorry you have to receive such pain, Ms L/N. We have offered your daughter counselling. She has rejected it kindly.” Dumbledore continued.

“You rejected it?” your father asked. “I demand you go.”

“Dad, I can’t,” you said, looking back at your father. Talking about it would only make you feel pressured and labelled.

“I don’t care, Y/N. You have to go—”

“Don’t force her. She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t feel comfortable.” your mother said. “But—you have to, at least for two weeks, okay?”

Your breath hitched in your throat but you nodded. You had to do it for her and maybe, you might be able to cure. You had hope.

“I assure you Madam Pomfrey will take great care of her,” McGonagall told, nodding at your parents with a small smile.

“I hope so, Minerva or else I’ll have to be filing a complaint to take Hogwarts down.” Mrs. Wen started. She was definitely a force not to be reckoned with, she was powerful among the Ministry of Magic. Even in her own house where she demanded what she wanted when she wanted it. You’ve witnessed it yourself.

“Also, the teachers are always here so don’t feel burdened to go tell them what you’re feeling at any time.” Dumbledore told and your family seemed to have taken that bit a bit too seriously.

—

“Severus, I don’t care what you think but you need to be taking extra care for her. My daughter is everything to me.” your mother said.

“You have my word, Mrs L/N. I will watch over her, no doubt.” 

“We’re serious, we’re depending on you for her journey to better mental and physical health—oh, come on, Severus. Look at what that boy did to her, look at her bruises.” your mother pleaded.

You stayed silent like she had told you to be.

“If you are asking me to take special care of her, I, unfortunately, cannot do that for you. She is like any other student to me, I—”

“Please. Give her some lack for a few months and take good care of her. I assure you that’s all she needs.” your father interrupted, his eyes glowing.

Your bloodline ran with Slytherins and above all, your parents and Snape went to school at around the same time. 

Snape looked over at you, his cold eyes unfailingly bringing light into you. They had convinced him.

“Don’t worry about her.”

FLASHBACK ENDED

You roamed the halls with the reminder of those days, your shoulders weighing heavier than a minute ago.

“Hey! Hey! Wait! Wait up! Pretty Slytherin Captain, WOAH—!” A scream rang through the empty hallway. Before you could turn to see who it was, they thudded into you on the left corridor, causing you to almost knock over to the ground. 

“Man, what the—”

You stopped when your eyes met with Hirai Momo’s.

“What do you want?” you asked, putting on your blank face. Momo seemed jumpy, considering your thoughts into if she was drunk or not. There was no scent of alcohol this time so it gave it away. You were wondering what she was doing here instead of being at The Great Hall where she would be with him.

“I just- I just—damn, that was a long run,” she said, puffing out large breaths as she located her hands on her knees.

“Alcohol damages the lungs.” you slipped out smartly but you didn’t expect her to let out a giggle at your words.

“Thank you for that by the way. Sniffing my drink.” Momo stood up fully, something folded in her hands. Her smiled weaved you in like a distraction.

“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” you said, shrugging.

“Uh, I don’t really remember, remember?” she laughed, an attempt to reduce the tension in the space between the two of you. 

“Why are you here?” you asked straight away.

“Right!” She passed you the folded parchment but it hung from her grip as you didn’t try to take it from her. You found it a waste of time to be talking to her when you knew exactly what it was. Could he have been dumber than to think you would accept such a thing?

“What is this? An apology letter from Joshua?”

She laughed again. “Oh my God, no! It’s your test paper! You dropped it the other day. Although, an apology letter would be too far.”

You were enlightened, grabbing the parchment at your wrongness. You didn’t expect a Hufflepuff to be so easygoing—but since when did you know? Just now. Thanks to the fact that you never mingled with others in different houses. Even those who opened their hands for you. Like McGonagall.

You never realised how much of a pain-in-the-ass you were until that moment. Momo treated you kindly and you refused to even look into her eyes for a second longer because it made you seem weak. It did not. You were just discriminative of other houses.

“I agree,”

“Honestly, I thought you would be scarier to approach than this. Was everyone lying to me?” Momo asked, her smile brighter than the Sun. The way her eyes crinkled made you think that she was in fact completed of natural beauty. 

“Yeah, well, I need to go tell my team to jump on you for even thinking about talking to me after this. So don’t be surprised when it happens,” you told as you folded the test paper. You slipped in into your Ghoul Studies textbook, silence flying from Momo’s side. You would sort it out later when you go back to your dorms. 

You wondered why and then you realised what you said. She had to have been scared.

“Joking,” you said blankly and then continued walking down the hallway. The girl followed you, laughing. 

“Please. I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life, I was so scared!”

“Yeah, your soul left you.” you agreed without an expression.

“It felt like it…! Hey, I just wanted to apologise—“

“For what?” You looked at her dead in the eyes. She didn’t falter one bit.

“Come on!” she exclaimed, dropping her smile as she stamped her foot charmingly on the tiled floor. “What Joshua did was so not cool! You know, he doesn’t shut up about you in the dorms but he doesn’t even know the inkling details about you?!”

Your stomach felt like it was full of butterflies—something you took seriously. Because when Momo said that, you didn’t feel like yourself. You heated up at the thought of him talking about you a lot. 

“I tried to stop him that day but he was such an idiot and—“

“I know, I saw,” you interrupted her.

“I just hope you know, he’s extremely, super-duper sorry and I’m sorry that I didn’t slap him when he said that. He won’t stop looking at you from a distance and he’s just not himself these days.” Momo stopped at the entrance of The Great Hall, just at the side of the door so no one could see the opposite houses talking to each other. You respected her for doing so.

“Yeah, sure…he can come to me and apologise to me properly and I’ll think about it.” What a liar—you just want to talk to him again. No, I don’t—

Her eyes lit up. “Seriously?!”

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

“No, no! I was just making sure! Oh, thank God. I’ll tell him later tonight if I happen to bump into him, if not, tomorrow! Thanks so much!” Momo opened her arms.

You pursed your lips together. She quickly noticed, pulling her arms back together. “Right, you don’t do hugs. Ah! But thank you, I’ll see you around! Have a good day.”

“You too.”

Momo entered The Great Hall. 

You tilted your head slightly, finding yourself going over the conversation in your head as you leaned against the brick wall. You felt light talking to the girl, she radiated the vibe that you could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge you for it. You smiled. Maybe you should get to know the other houses and possibly, Joshua too. 

And what the hell is this thing I have for Joshua? I know I am not falling for his ass.

—

He managed to weave into your dreams in the dead of a full moon night. How did your mind let it happen? It felt so calm and this dream soothed your mind into relaxation you never felt around the boy. It felt like the discrimination between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs didn’t even exist. Like you were away from the real world, just the two of you basking each other’s warm presence, fulfilling each other with comfort.

Joshua laid in your lap in a meadow of tall sunflowers, sun rays dawning on you two, too bright to be real. The two of you were sitting on a picnic mat with food set aside, seemingly have eaten already. 

You couldn’t feel anything. No sadness was felt, it was like everything was going right for once in your life. However, there was a slight difference in you. 

Scars...your old scars that used to make you feel disgusting. He took your hand and kissed them. One by one. Slowly. While smiling at you. And then, you shot up in your bed.

“Fuck—” You grabbed at your scalp. Sweat beaded your forehead as you frantically looked around your room, your heart racing from the dream. It felt so real, so real you had to look around to blink back the reality in front of you. The boy had easily milked his way into your dreams—how? How?!

You thrust yourself off your bed, quickly finding your slippers beneath on the dark oak floor.

“Ssh!” one of your roommates said in her sleep. You didn’t mind her, leaving the room immediately. You went down to the luxurious common room your dormitory had to offer. A few students were still awake, not to your surprise, other seventh years. You looked at the time. It was two in the morning.

You nodded in acknowledgement at one of the seventh years prior to leaving the dormitory. It wasn’t permitted, of course. But you didn’t care at this point, things were going too far. It seemed like even when you were trying to console yourself that this wasn’t real, that it wasn’t happening for real, the rush of the possibility of having feelings for Joshua would always beat it. Truth be told, you still had the slight anger for him because of what he had done in the past and that included the chocolate situation from the beginning. You didn’t like how he was so easygoing around you but then again, why did he need to be scared of you? You guys were classmates, he didn’t need to cower in your presence. 

Ahhh! I don’t know! Why am I like this?!

The darkness welcomed you once again as you sauntered the hallways aimlessly. The coldness brought you in like a friend you didn’t like and you started to regret not wearing something to cover you. You were only dressed in a nightdress, silky and soft to the touch.

“Lumos,” you whispered, ignoring the harsh words from the prior-sleeping portraits. Your mind was finally clearing a little.

“L/N? Is that you, young lady?” a cold voice asked. You stopped in your tracks, feeling the hairs on your skin rise. You reached your wand outwards a little, meeting Snape’s face.

Screwed.

“You know the rules. No roaming after hours. Come with me to my office for your detention slip.” he said.

You sighed. “Come on, professor. You know me!”

“Minerva is in the next hall. It’s either you get it from me or receive multiple from her and points off the house.” he whispered,

You didn’t answer back, you just followed him to his office. Detention seemed to be no remedy to your problem, however, a walk to Snape’s office was one because you felt like your head was clearing even more. Maybe you couldn’t come to a conclusion to this cluster of feelings but you were at least feeling like you got fresh air in your lungs.

Even though a detention slip was now in your hands because of your careless actions. 

You sat in front of him, the slightest feeling of dissatisfaction nagging you at the back of the head still. The thought of his lips on your skin kept playing on repeat in your head, an aimed loop to make you fragile.

“What do you think about a Slytherin falling for someone else who isn’t a Slytherin?” you asked suddenly. Silence occupied the space, Snape’s eyes sparkling into yours. His office already felt empty as it was with no fire lit up to warm it up and only moonlight shining inside. You were sitting in nearly utter darkness. “You know what—“

Snape sighed. “I obviously don’t get paid enough for this. How bad are we talking about this crush?”

You gasped. “Crush? No! It’s just— I had a dream that I and he were together and it’s really bothering me. It’s so weird of me telling this to a teacher, right?”

“You have no idea how many confessions I got from Pansy herself this week about her obsession with Malfoy itself. Who is the kid?”

You felt the inkling of curiosity from Snape.

“Joshua Hong...”

You expected no reaction from the teacher but he raised a brow and that in itself was a lot for you. It felt like he was really taking in what you were saying and you knew you were lucky to be on his good side. Though, a teacher is always a teacher. “A Hufflepuff? Hm, work out your own way.”

You weren’t going to get anywhere with this, especially with Snape. He was too closed off for your own good, you rather have a girl-to-girl chat about this with another teacher whom you were comfortable with. Though there doesn’t seem to be a teacher that you could talk about this to. Which is why you got up, letting the chair skid back a little.

“Fine, professor. Have a lovely night.” 

You exited his office with the detention slip in your hand. “Lumos.”

Walking down the hallway, you felt a little heavier. The dream was still fresh on your mind and it messed you up so bad on the inside. Obviously, you were not used to this kind of dream, especially from a Hufflepuff. If the dream was rather about Jun or another Slytherin, the two of you would laugh about it. But the dream had to be about him. His lips, were so plump and soft when they touched your skin. It was like you could feel it. 

Was it just admiration for his beauty? Was a question that remained unanswered. Although having his lips pressed against yours was something you wanted to feel too, did it answer the previous question? 

A figure was walking down the hallway, causing you to shine your wand at the person. You gulped immediately. How was this even possible?! 

You had to be seeing things! 

Seeing him as a hallucination could also prove to be just as bad. But you didn’t want to believe it.

Joshua jumped back. “I’m only here to see Professor Sprout! I came here with permission!”

“Why the hell are you up so late?” you asked

Joshua was shocked least to say that you were standing there in front of him. You were too, you were also better at hiding it. He paused for a second, gawking into your eyes. Dressed in simple striped blue pyjamas, his black hair slightly tousled, you were brought back to your dream. His divinely heavenly smile, the way the sun sparkled in his eyes, how you looked at him like he was the entire world—

He avoided eye contact as you welcomed his sincerity through. Joshua was just a package of sincerity in himself. He was not one ounce of bad blood but you treated him like he was.

“I had to deliver a complaint from a student…” he explained quietly.

“This can’t be a coincidence.” you pressed on. You didn’t mean anything bad when you said that, you were rather talking to yourself because of the dream you just had. His lips looked just like they did in the dream.

“Oh, come on, L/N. I’m not stalking you, okay, I just—“ You acted out of instinct, suddenly cornering him against the wall. You forced your eyes to look at his pretty face, letting the butterflies come in and settle in your stomach. There was no way you had him cornered against the wall right now but you had to see this for sure. 

“it seriously can’t…this really can’t be.”

Joshua was red under the grip of your wand as he looked to the side. It was like you were contradicting what you said earlier about him touching you. But you could tell Joshua Hong liked it from the redness of his face and his completely relaxed figure against the wall. So you continued.

You pushed a knee beside his left thigh, locking him in place.

“I’m not—“ 

“Be quiet,” you whispered, drawing his face closer with one hand, examining it in full detail. Whether this was a hallucination or not, you only started accepting the fact that this boy was actually pretty. Your heart was speeding just looking at his face. You forgot about the problems you had with him as your eyes followed his nose, lips, hair and back to his eyes, all defined and sculpted by the heavens to fit him. If someone had told you he was an angel from heaven, you wouldn’t question it one bit.

Finally getting a hold of yourself within the lost maze, you threw his face to the side, your fingers slightly piercing his cheeks. You moved off of him. 

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows at you. “What was that about—“

“Your mum.” You left.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: u got to the end!!!

here's the poll as promised, i'll make my decision in 24 hrs

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𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝐹𝑖𝑐 𝑅𝑒𝑐𝑠

♡ Fluff || ୨୧ Angst || ★ Smut || ꗃ SMAU || ✦ One shot || ⌗ Series || ✿ Drabble || ♤ Mature (No smut) || ✹ Humor || ⸙ On hold ||

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Love café ♡ ୨୧ ★✦ -> @chocosvt

synopsis: while you’ve spent the last few months pretending the love café doesn’t exist, you realize you need its services now more than ever. this brings you face to face with jeonghan, the son of a luxury fashion designer who’s got money to burn. your exchanges are strictly business. until they’re not.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Miracle Bunny ♡୨୧★⌗⸙ -> @caramellohigh

synopsis: Minghao impulsively adopts a hybrid for you and you hate him for it. But after getting to know your new hybrid, you realized it wasn’t such a bad idea after all. You’ve gained a new friend, a companion and… perhaps more?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ illicit whispers ♡★ -> @httphannie

summary: yoon jeonghan's wanted in almost every country but there's no denying that he's handsome so should it come as a surprise when you end up in his prison cell?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ KIDULT ♡✹୨୧ -> @hvae

synopsis: jeonghan always believed he was never fond of children, especially when he took the job at your daycare. little did he know the child in him was playing hide and seek, finally revealing itself after growing to love the kids. oh, and you too

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ The selfish dilemma ♡୨୧★⌗ -> @joonsytip

Synopsis: It was love at first sight ever since you laid eyes on Jeonghan. To him, you are the annoying co-worker who keeps asking him out. No one is new to your courting agenda which only pisses off Jeonghan but what happens when you stop, all at once....

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ How to give a blowjob for dummies ♡୨୧★ -> @multiland

summary: your friendship with Jeonghan takes a turn the day the two of you cross the line when he decides to teach you how to give a blowjob, despite your promises of everything staying the same. Tired of waiting for him to acknowledge the elephant in the room, you decide to go on dates. Needless to say, he doesn't like it one bit.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ In her shadow ♡୨୧★⌗✹ -> @hoshzone

summary: you never were the one to fall in love but, just when you think you might’ve found the one, he turns out to be your estranged bitch of a sister’s fiancé. you and jeonghan both know better but, he can’t help but wish he’d met you first, thinking you’re a far better match for him than she’d ever be. #trusttheprocessordon’t…

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Little miss naughty ♡★ -> @hoshzone

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : not being able to wait until Jeonghan gets off the phone with Joshua, you decide it’d be a good idea to get yourself off on his thigh. He makes sure you pay for that.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Holidate ♡୨୧★ -> @onlymingyus

synopsis: It's only for a week, he's doing you a favor, and he's your fake boyfriend. Why do you have to keep reminding yourself of that?

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Fall back down to earth with you ♡୨୧ -> @97-liners

Synopsis: in which your manager, jeonghan, thinks it’ll be good publicity for you to date hollywood actor and notable heartthrob, joshua hong. of course, everything would be nice and easy if you ended up falling in love with your fake boyfriend joshua, but life is complicated, and your heart ends up pulling you in another direction completely.

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Cigarettes and coffee ♡★୨୧ -> @gyukult

❙❘❙❙❘❙❚❙❘ ⌕ Responsibly irresponsible: white shoes ♡୨୧ -> @twogyuu

Synopsis: Seemingly exciting at first, Jeonghan slowly comes to realize that being a dad is more than meets the eye, especially when he meets your mother (unexpectedly) for the first time. Did you mention? She doesn't know you're pregnant.

[ More Jeonghan fic recs will be updated ]

Want more Seventeen fic recs? -> Click Here

---

Nameless

Pairing: Wonwoo x fem!reader

Synopsis: Perhaps you were both fonder of one another than you thought - it only took one night in the city founded on two forbidden lovers for the two of you to realize. 

Alternatively, Romeo and Juliet, but make it ATLA :P 

Genre: Fluff, crack, some angst, atla!au, Of Flames and Fate!couple, firebender!wonwoo (he bends blue fire!!!), bounty hunter!wonwoo, former general!wonwoo, waterbender!reader, southern water tribe princess!reader, earthbender!jeonghan, old man!jeonghan (jeonghan is oc’s caretaker), my cabbages guy!mingyu, they’re in Omashu

Warnings: Mentions of war/weapons/violence, profanity, food, injury with a cabbage cart, one sexual innuendo at the end, unedited (I wrote most of this at like 3AM 😭💀 I will go back and fix this so it flows better some day–)

WC: ~6k

A/N: For my biggest firebender!wonwoo agenda supporter, @wisteria-woo . She be knew from the beginning ✊

Loosely inspired by ATLA, Love Between Fairy and Devil, and Hotarubi no Mori e.

read the original drabble here :)

. . . .

The screen door slid open abruptly, the bright light of the morning sun spilling into the small room, taking Wonwoo by surprise. A basket of damp clothes in hand, you grumpily pushed past Wonwoo, without a care for the firebender. You bumped his shoulder roughly on your way inside, though it was hard to tell if it was purposeful or out of ignorance. The young man watched you curiously for a moment as you lugged the heavy hamper towards the backdoor. 

He figured you must’ve gone to the Common to do laundry at the fountain today and were just making your way back to hang the clothes in the courtyard of the hostel. Wonwoo did find it strange, however; you usually never went to town on your own without him (Jeonghan’s rules – not that he always wanted to nor did he mind these days) and as of late, he had been attempting to be more helpful – washing clothes being one of them. 

That said, it was clear to him that you were bitter today – and Wonwoo had an inkling as to why. 

Rushing to your side as you stepped over the threshold and onto the porch, he lifted the basket from the bottom to take some of the weight off your shoulders. Immediately, you stopped in your tracks and shot him a scowl.

“Can I help?” he offered you a small smile.

You only scoffed, though not refusing his help. You let go of your side, Wonwoo nearly stumbling forward with the additional weight.

Quietly, the two of you picked the damp clothing and flung them over the free space along one of the wires towards the end of the courtyard. Despite pretending to be interested in the worn beige blanket he had just pinned up, Wonwoo watched you carefully out of the corner of his eye. You were rather efficient today; like a robot only programmed to move from the drying line to the basket, furiously shaking out the clothes and blankets and clipping them to the wire. Your usual gentle and bright expression was replaced with a hardened look, the space between your brows creased. It worried Wonwoo that if you kept scowling for that long, your face might get stuck like that. 

Admittedly, it wasn’t a cute look on you. 

Silence ensued – only the slight breeze rustling the leaves of the tree overhanging the hostel and the occasional chirp of spring birds in the distance. The hostel was empty for the most part – the innkeeper and his wife were busy at the front calculating last night’s profits and cooking lunch. Most travelers had already taken off in the early hours of dawn and the few guests who extended their stay seemed to have business elsewhere during the day. 

When enough was enough, Wonwoo parted an opening past what he thought was Jeonghan’s trousers and one of your overshirts, invading your side of the barrier. 

“Can you at least acknowledge my existence?” Wonwoo asked. 

Face still stoic, you slumped your shoulders and let out a long, heavy breath. 

“Good morning, Wonwoo,” you said monotonously before marching off to your chore. 

“You’re still upset,” he noted. 

“And what’s it to you, bounty hunter?” you shot back. 

“It’s just a silly festival –”

“Stop.”

Your face hardened as you continued to stare at him. As the seconds pass, the corner of your lips downturned into a tight frown, the rage from yesterday clearly still fresh in your heart. 

“It’ll be fun!” you tried, leaning over the table, nearly knocking over your bowl of soup. It was fortunate Jeonghan was sitting next to you, the elder earthbender having impeccable reflexes for his age. His hand flew up immediately to slide the bowl back towards the center, sending you a warning look. 

While entering Omashu today, Wonwoo had noted the decorations going up around town. The marketplace was bustling, with several merchants selling rich fabric, gold-encrusted pendants, and treats – a rare sight for such exquisite and exclusive items to be sold in such a place. In particular, Wonwoo had noticed the massive array of animal masks hanging in various stalls, some clearly representing animals in the surrounding area, others more artistic and painted with bright shades of blues and reds. 

When he had asked about it, Jeonghan had explained the city was preparing for the Festival of the Badger Moles: an annual celebration of the birth of earthbending. Traditionally, people wore masks of the badger mole, but for the sake of festivities, within recent decades it has extended to other animals as well – mostly worn by children. There would be steam carts, live music, dancing, and goods being sold. 

To you, however, the Festival of the Badger Moles was merely a legend Jeonghan would tell you stories about for the both of you were never in Omashu whenever it happened. With the nature of Jeonghan’s profession as a freelance welder, the two of you moved around frequently. This would be the first time you were in the city during the festivities and you were eager to experience it. 

Though . . . that came Jeonghan’s condition that Wonwoo had to go with you. 

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Wonwoo shrank back at your suggestion. 

“Why not?” you pouted. “It’ll be a nice break from . . . everything. Time to breathe.”

“It’s . . . dangerous to be around a person like me,” Wonwoo tried to explain. 

“You’re with us, right now?” you frowned, not quite understanding where he was coming from. 

“No,” Wonwoo huffed in frustration. “Like out in public – in the masses. If you forgot,” he peered around to check for any listening ears and leaned in closer, lowering his volume. “I’m a bounty hunter, discarded son of the Fire Nation general . . . I’m a wanted man.”

You sat back on your heels, finally starting to understand – though, there was a tinge of selfishness in you that night. 

“We’ll be wearing masks?” you tried. 

Wonwoo only shook his head firmly. “It’s not safe – for me and you.”

You nodded in disappointment, though moments later turning to Jeonghan excitedly, a new compromise on the tip of your tongue. 

“No,” Jeonghan shot you down before you could even try. His tone was harsh, but his expression was serene as he sipped on his soup. 

“But–”

“My condition was that you’d go with Wonwoo, but Wonwoo doesn’t want to go,” Jeonghan laid out his rationale. “End of discussion.”

“Y/N,” Wonwoo tried. He took a step closer to you, but you took another one back. 

“It might just be a silly festival to you, but it’s important to me,” you muttered. You inhaled sharply and squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. “I don’t expect anyone to understand, but it’s whatever,” you waved him off. “I know, Wonwoo – I understand. I’m just . . . upset at the situation, not at you.”

Wonwoo’s footing stuttered again as he extended a hand towards you. He was quick to stop in his tracks, his long fingers curling into a fist. His arm hung in the air a moment longer before he drew it to his side, muttering a quiet apology. 

“I just need some space for now,” you mumbled, taking your leave.

There it was again: the sudden urge to chase after you and pull you into an embrace and comfort you. The look of disappointment etching into your features made his heart ache because he knew none of this was your fault, yet you silently suffered the brunt of it. You were kind and carefree – admittedly a little naive at times, but your intentions were good. It was unfortunate out of all people, it had to be you. He only complicated the situation. 

Wonwoo wasn’t sure when he grew soft for you, but before he knew it, he was.

However, he knew better than to grow attached. 

You were the hidden daughter of the Southern Water Tribe Chief. 

He was the renounced son of the Fire Nation General – without a country and title. He was basically demoted to a righteous nomad at best. 

At least, nomads had a group of people to call home. 

Your lives weren’t supposed to cross; they were meant to run in parallel. Only this once where you needed one another would fate allow it for what seemed like a second in the infinite stream of time. 

. . . .

You couldn’t sleep well that night. 

You tossed and turned, the mat suddenly seemingly too thin and your mid-back ached from the floor boards. The early summer breeze whistled too loudly through the slits of the walls and did nothing to calm the sweltering heat of your room. It especially didn’t help that you could hear the festivities from the city – the occasional outburst of giggles of groups of girls passing by the inn, sparklers crackling in the distance. 

Giving into every little thing making you miserable tonight, you threw off your covers and pushed yourself up in bed and leaned against the wall between yours and Wonwoo and Jeonghan’s room. You twisted the base of your lamp, the flame inside flicking on instantly as you let out a long breath and rested your head up against the wall. 

It could’ve been you out there tonight. 

Alas, society had bigger plans for you, in which you couldn’t even enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

It wasn’t always like this.

In fact, it was only a few weeks ago when life was still simple: metalworker Jeonghan and his clumsy kid apprentice against the world – or more precisely, most of the Earth Nation. There just happened to be a quiet, but emotional, young man who followed the two of you around for a bit. 

You had yet to see the world. 

Though it was mundane, on days like this, you preferred it that way. 

There was no title of “chief’s long-lost daughter” or “princess” hanging over your head like a market sign painted red; no need to second guess everything you said or did in fear of revealing who you were. You kept your lips sealed and your thoughts locked away in your heart. 

The scariest part?

A heavy thud outside your window startled you from your late night musing – it almost sounded like someone threw a sack of potatoes on the wooden porch leading into your quarters. Your thoughts and unanswered questions long forgotten, you spun around to face the screen door and reached for your dagger in the wool knapsack at the foot of your bed. 

A silhouette of a man crouched on his knees fanned across your screen door. Jeonghan was always cautious. From a young age, he trained you for moments like this – “surprises” he called them, but not the good kind. How to attack, signals to send if he wasn’t there, where to meet him if they parted ways, etc. 

Though you knew it was for your own safety, not until recently, did it occur to you that it was because Jeonghan’s mission was to keep you alive as the Southern Water Tribe chief’s daughter. You begged to differ, but some viewed your life more worthy of gold than others. 

Just as you were about to knock against the wall to signal to Wonwoo and Jeonghan, the figure moved swiftly. The door slid open, his figure a blur. You blinked and Wonwoo was in front of you, one finger against his thin lips, and the other resting atop yours that was wrapped around the dagger. 

“Wonwoo?” you whispered, your heart sank. Relieved, you sat back on your heels. 

“Keep quiet,” he replied. He turned slightly to the room next door. 

“You scared me!” 

He smiled sheepishly. Realizing just how close the two of you were, he shuffled back to create some space. 

“Sorry.”

“What are you doing here?” you asked, eyes scanning his figure. His hair was matted against forehead, his usual form-fitting faded red suit and threadbare brown cloak traded for something a little more . . . familiar. “In Jeonghan’s clothes?”

You stared at him incredulously, the pitch of your voice going up with the end of the question. 

Wonwoo peered down at his (or rather Jeonghan’s) outfit, a beige undershirt and loose green vest, and tugged at the front.

“Looks classy, doesn’t it?” he asked cheesily. 

You scoffed and looked away. 

“I don’t want to waste any time since it’s already late so I’ll cut to it,” Wonwoo stood up, his long legs stretching high above you. Extending a hand in your direction, he tilted his head coyly and smirked. “Wanna go to town with me? For a silly festival?”

. . . .

Despite the festival being half over, Wonwoo had insisted on both of you wearing masks – for safety of your collective identities, of course, not for childish celebratory reasons. 

What would society think of the Southern Water Tribe princess running wild with the former lieutenant general of the Fire Nation military?

With the few coins in your silk pouch, you had hastily bought two at the first stall along the dirt road that came into view as you arrived in town: a white fox antelope one with red whiskers for him and a classic brown black badger mole one for you. 

Admittedly, however, it was probably a bad decision on Wonwoo’s part as you were impossible to keep track of. The design of your mask was rather unoriginal – it seemed as if every other person was wearing the same one. Not to mention, the straps of his own were thin and slippery, the knot undoing itself in the all the commotion of trying to keep up with you. 

You happily bounced from stall to stall in the marketplace, refusing to buy anything since you only had a few coins left, but mouth watering over steam buns and your eyes were wide with desire at colorful silk fabrics – the dye a rare deep shade of green. Over the drums and shouts, He thought he heard you muttering something about it being nice for making a new coat for Jeonghan.

It was cute, but tiresome. Wonwoo wasn’t sure how you had so much energy at such hours of the night. Then again, you had been waiting for this moment your entire life it seemed. 

You had taken off again and disappeared into the crowd, just as Wonwoo felt his fox antelope mask slipping off for what felt like the tenth time in the last hour. Annoyed, he pulled it off, holding it by the tails of the ties and ran in the same general direction he had seen you go. He whipped his head back and forth, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of you. The streak of white in your hair that framed your face was hard to miss most days, but you had tucked it all into a bun and again, that damn badger mole mask. 

He grew anxious the longer he couldn’t find you. Each minute that passed meant another meter between him and you. Each meter made it harder to protect you if anything happened. Indeed you were supposedly destined to be a power waterbender, but currently, you were a very bad one. Your powers had been suppressed until recently and even then, you lacked the right scrolls and a competent instructor to harness your abilities to your best potential. Jeonghan shouting, "It's okay – just try again!" was rather not ideal.

Just as he was about to lose it, heat coursing down his arms, threatening to set the square aflame to just clear a way to find you, someone's hands wrap around his wrist. Wonwoo wondered just what beggar had the audacity to bother him now when he was busy. 

Turning around furiously, a short but impactful (and loud) lecture prepared on the tip of his tongue, he was met with a person in a badger mole mask. This couldn’t quell his worry nonetheless – he had a fifty-fifty chance it could’ve been you or some annoying kid who lost their parents. 

“Wonwoo?” the familiar sound of your voice echoed through the mask. You lifted it to get a better look at him. The sight of your plush lips, immediately bringing him relief. “Why aren’t you – oh!” 

The firebender quickly pulled you into a tight hug. His eyes fluttered shut as he let out a breath against the exposed skin between your shoulder and your neck. Goosebumps rose along your spine at the gesture and you stiffened, too stunned to speak. Wonwoo never initiated skinship with you, let alone attempted to get close to you physically and emotionally. During dinner, he always made a point to sit across the table. If you were camping out in the forest, you both slept on either side of Jeonghan. When conversations got too deep into his past, his replies grew curt or he’d politely ask you to change the subject. 

When walking up to him earlier, he seemed frazzled . . . maybe he was claustrophobic? Slowly and awkwardly, you raised a hand to pat his back in an effort to comfort him. You tried to look at him to get a better gauge of his mood to no avail. 

“Hey,” you said softly in his ear. “You okay?”

Immediately, Wonwoo separated from you and pulled his arms back to his side. That seemed to have been effective enough to stun him back into reality. You noted how his fox antelope mask is sitting in his hand rather than on his face. 

“Wonwoo?” you tried again. You took a step towards him.

For the third time tonight, Wonwoo took you by surprise again. He reached for your hand, slipping his fingers in between your own and giving you a tight squeeze. His touch full of affection and reassurance, but his surly expression suggested otherwise. 

“Don’t do that again,” he said harshly. He was quick to change his tone when he noticed the frown forming on your face, however. “Just . . . running off and around. I don’t want to hold you back tonight, but I just need to be able to be close to you in case anything happens. Okay?”

You nodded, mumbling a small apology. 

“I-I’m sorry for startling you,” Wonwoo stuttered in reply. He wasn’t used to apologizing, let alone for something so seemingly miniscule. “I was just . . . worried.”

It was out of concern, duty, and promise to Jeonghan, yet there was something about the way he held your hand and the tone of his voice that made your heart skip a beat when it shouldn’t have. Your face grew warm realizing he was still holding your hand. You wondered if he could feel the slick of your sweat forming on your palms. 

A beat passed with bated breaths, the moment seemed to last an hour though it was fleeting for the life of the party that surrounded the both of you.

Realizing that he was still holding on, you quickly found an excuse to pull your hand away from him. It was nerve-wracking and not good for your heart. 

“Let me help you with your mask,” you announced. You peered up at him briefly, offering him a tight smile, then reaching down to take it from him. 

Wonwoo complied, nodding slowly and leaned over so you would have better access to his face. You didn’t expect him to come so close; you shrank back on instinct, eyes instantly flying to his lips sitting fingers-width away from yours. You silently scolded yourself for having such a reaction – letting your mind go there. Unconsciously pulling your bottom lip in between your teeth, you lifted the mask to his face, making sure the parts aligned with his face. Your hands reached behind and twisted the strings together. Without much choice, your fingers carded through his hair as you tied off the bow, the tips of his hairs at the nape of his neck grazing against your skin. 

“Done,” you announced as you tightened the knot. 

He whispered a soft ‘thank you’ and stood up straight again. He reached over and pulled down your badger mole mask over your face. Though you couldn’t see his eyes through his mask, you’d like to imagine his eyes were narrowed in concentration as he adjusted it to better fit your face. 

“Shall we?” Wonwoo extended his hand once more. 

Your eyes flickered to his hand and then back to him; silently wondering if he was sure about all this hand holding thing. 

As if he read your mind, he chuckled heartily and grabbed your hand. He didn’t say anything else; Wonwoo just turned around and gave you a sight tug, urging you to start walking next to him. Your footing stuttered a bit, knocking into his back slightly. You were quick to straighten yourself out and regain your footing to walk properly again.

This wasn’t the night at the Festival of the Badger Moles you were expecting – it was better (though you’d never voice that aloud). 

. . . .

“You should wear this one,” Wonwoo said, gently shaking your interlocked hands. 

You spun around from the display you were looking at to see him holding a gold encrusted pin with a jade crystal at the end. It was simple, but elegant. He handed it over to you, the accessory much heavier than you expected as you turned it in your palm. 

You shook your head. “It’s nice, but I can’t.” You handed it back to him to place it back where he got it from. 

“Why not?” he asked. 

“It looks expensive,” you chortled. You leaned over and gestured for him to come closer. In a hushed voice you mumbled, “Let alone, would it make sense for a water tribe girl to be wearing a treasured piece from the Earth Kingdom?”

“Nonsense,” Wonwoo insisted. He lifted the pin into the air and admired it himself, a fleeting thought in his mind of how nice it would look in your hair. “You’re basically an Earth Kingdom citizen with how long you’ve lived with Jeonghan.”

“No,” you waved him off. You were growing uncomfortable, your eyes darting to find another attraction to attend to. You spotted a cart of steam buns and took a few steps away from Wonwoo. “C’mon, let’s go get some food.”

Wonwoo pulled you back and slipped the pin into your bun. He was glad you secured the fox antelope mask well. For once, he didn’t have to hold back the stupid grin on his face that seemed to only be reserved for you. He could only imagine how nicely it complimented your complexion. The decoration was subtle, but when the flames of the torch crackled when the heat became too much, the jade glowed prettily and illuminated the gold handle. 

He wondered what it would look like under his blue flame. 

“Wear it for me then?” Wonwoo asked. 

As the minutes ticked by, the longer your hands were interlocked, the deeper you went into the city, the more your masks didn’t seem to be for the sake of privacy and safety, but to shield the feelings that painted both of your faces that neither of you could hold back that night. 

Surprise, embarrassment, nervousness, happiness . . . what did these feelings mean altogether? 

His words were apparent, yet seemingly cryptic. Each simple gesture and small request felt exponential. 

By no means was he getting on one knee and asking you to marry him, but wearing a hairpin by his request felt burdensome – a promise that couldn’t be kept. 

Once you left here, you weren’t simply a girl who roamed the Earth Kingdom anymore, but the Southern Water Tribe princess. 

When you didn’t reply, Wonwoo plucked it out of your hair and handed it to the stall owner. He pulled out a few coins to pay for it. 

“Wonwoo!” you exclaimed, a hand outstretched to stop the exchange from happening. The elderly woman running the shop halted and looked from Wonwoo to you, then to Wonwoo again. 

“It’s okay, I’d like to buy it,” Wonwoo explained. When the woman handed it back, Wonwoo perched it in your hair again. “At least for tonight, wear it. It makes it easier to keep track of you.”

Your shoulders slumped over, your heart slowing down for the first time tonight. 

So . . . it wasn’t out of affection. Bold of you to think it was. 

“I’ll give it back at the end of the night,” you muttered awkwardly. 

“No need,” he chirped as you crossed the street. 

“But–”

“Consider it a souvenir,” he explained matter-of-factly, though little did you know there was a gentle smile dancing on his lips behind the mask. “A keepsake from a firebender you once knew.”

It was only in the Earth Kingdom where Wonwoo and you could exist just as you are and together after all. 

Simply, a firebender and a waterbender. 

. . . .

You were a waterbender by birth, but an earthbender by heart. 

Wonwoo came to this conclusion as he stood to the side and watched you dance happily with the little boy in the town square. Stepping to the beat of the drums, you held onto the skirt of your tunic and placed your palm gently against the little boy and the two of you stepped counterclockwise. Though there was a lightness to your step, the way you moved your limbs were stiff and poignant, contrary to the fluidity of other waterbenders he has met. 

Had he met you under different circumstances, he would’ve never guessed you were one. It must’ve been from years of watching and combat training with Jeonghan, he figured. 

As the symbols clanged together, announcing the end of song, you bid the little boy goodbye. Giggling, you ran over to Wonwoo and took him by the crook of his arm and dragged him towards the center. 

“Join me,” you told him. 

“Y/N, I can’t – I don’t know this routine,” Wonwoo protested. He pulled his arm back, though you didn’t let go. 

“It’s simple,” you declared, “I’ll teach you.”

Wonwoo stood stiff and unmoving, pausing. The drum master began to beat his mallet against the canvas of the instrument again, announcing the next song again. You didn’t seem to be in a rush, however. You pulled him closer to the edge of the dance floor, undoing the knot of your mask and pulling it off to reveal shining, hopeful eyes. 

“Never heard of a firebender who can’t dance,” you teased. 

His eyebrow quirked, shocked that you even remembered. 

“If earthbending is about listening to your opponent, firebending is like dancing with the enemy,” Wonwoo explained as he stood next to you, angrily staring at the river – as if you stared hard enough, you could lift a droplet. It was shortly after Jeonghan had revealed the truth of your identity. Though there was still an element of disbelief, part of you wanted to put his word to the test. 

“Don’t you have anything you could compare waterbending to?” Wonwoo asked. 

“Not when I’ve never met another waterbender,” you grumbled. 

“Is that a challenge, princess?” Wonwoo asked in a low voice. 

You smirked and took two steps back. Following the other women in the crowd, you curtsied towards Wonwoo and extended a hand for him to take. 

And he accepted.

Facing the opposite direction, you stepped in line with him. “Just follow my lead.”

The two of you circled around each other, following the rhythm of the song. 

Two steps away, then three steps toward each other. You reached for Wonwoo’s hand, gently settling it in the small of your back in preparation for a spin. 

Like a light of a flame, however, the firebender seemed to have other plans. 

He pulled you close until your chests were flushed. He leaned in, trying to better see you through the slits of the mask. It was a full moon tonight – he could see the pearl-like orb reflecting off the corners of your own eyes. There was confusion, perhaps fear as well, that glistened in your wide gaze. 

Wonwoo didn’t like the way the mask limited his view. Without a thought, he tugged one end of the bow you secured earlier and the mask clattered to the concrete beside the both of you. A sense of satisfaction filled his chest, knowing that tonight, there was nothing in between him and you. 

His eyes traced along the bridge of your nose and rested on your plush lips that were held agape. Reaching up, he slowly traced your bottom lip with his thumb, then tapering off to the corner and following the curve of your cheeks. 

He smiled – they were warm like his own. 

Wonwoo felt the press of your hand against his chest, your throat bobbing up as you swallowed harshly. 

“It’s your turn to spin,” you stammered. 

He didn’t seem to be listening, mesmerized by something else – or rather someone, though you didn’t want to admit it to yourself. Wonwoo wasn’t holding on very tightly to you; rather, it was more of you who let yourself stay within his embrace, unwavering. When the flute reached its climactic note, you pushed him roughly and stepped away. 

He was supposed to twirl in the opposite direction, but his position was less than optimal for the move. His feet stumbled over one another and he sailed backwards as he started losing his center of gravity.

The music ceased as everyone watched on in terror.

There was a sickening crack of a crate, but thankfully, the landing was cushioned. Wonwoo wasn't sure by what, but it was better than landing on the concrete. 

"My cabbages!" a husky voice shrieked behind him. It was followed by a string of cursing. Wonwoo could make out the sound of your laughter nearby. 

He peeled open his eyes to find himself amidst a pile of wood and well, cabbages.

That would make sense. Cabbage were dense enough to hold his weight, but still soft enough to land a blow.

Wonwoo was rubbing the back of his neck when you suddenly came jogging over and grabbed his wrist.

"Run!" you hissed at him. A grin graced your face, tears from laughter steaming in the corner of your eyes.

For the first time in a long time, Wonwoo was happy.

. . . .

“Try it – they’re tasty,” you explained. You handed him the skewer with the last candied fruit.

He stared at it suspiciously to tease you, before peering up at you again. 

“Try,” you giggled, pushing his hand towards his mouth. 

After the cabbage cart accident, the two of you had decided to call it a night, purchasing some late night snacks at the edge of the festival and seeking refuge on a hill that oversaw the city. Though the celebration had come to an end, neither of you wanted to go back to the hostel just yet, hoping to hold onto the last few pieces of freedom and whatever was blooming between him and you. 

Since then the teasing and the laughter hadn’t stopped; Wonwoo even found himself chuckling along every now and then. The jokes cracked weren’t even funny, perhaps it was the sugar from all the candied fruit you bought, but at some point neither of you really knew what you were laughing about. 

Without knowing it, you both were running on giddiness, and just maybe, love. 

If Wonwoo could describe it, it was that same fluttery happiness and breathtaking feeling he had when he was seven and had a crush on his friend. She was a blurry memory, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like, but the emotions associated with her were timeless. 

“Thank you.” 

Wonwoo looked up to find you settling against the root of the tree next to him. You let out a long breath and rested your head against his shoulder. As if it was already second nature, Wonwoo shifted to better accommodate you and lifted his arm to wrap around your shoulder. You snuggled into his hold, molding yourself into his side. 

“Thank you,” Wonwoo replied. He pressed his lips into your temple. You tensed at the act, though quick to relax, eyes fluttering shut. 

“What are you thanking me for?” you mumbled. “You’re the one who snuck me out.”

Wonwoo hummed softly and looked off into the distance. The torches and lanterns around Omashu made it glow gold, reminding him of the  hairpin in your bun. The mailing system was even lined with colorful fabric, he could see. If he was quiet enough, he could still hear the lingering slivers of children shouting and hearty laughters in the distance. 

“Just . . . because,” Wonwoo replied. He paused. “I’m happy.”

He felt you snaking your arms around his waist, hands clasping together at his hip. 

“Can we just stay like this for a while?” you asked, lazily. “Happy?”

Closing his own eyes, he gave your shoulder a squeeze of reassurance. He relaxed against the tree and huffed. 

“Just for a little while.”

. . . .

Bonus:

“A little while” turned into the rest of the evening into the early morning. 

You woke first with sun shining through the leaves of the oak tree hanging overhead and blinding your sleepy vision. As you returned to reality, the birds chirping and shouts from the marketplace entering your ears, you slowly started to realize your current predicament. 

Wonwoo and you snuck out. 

Wonwoo and you spent the whole night together. 

Wonwoo and you fell asleep on the hill. 

Wonwoo and you didn’t go home.

Jeonghan. 

The two of you were so screwed. 

“Wonwoo!” you shook the said male, “Wonwoo! Wake up!”

He groaned, raising his limbs to stretch over his head, though his eyes remained sealed shut. 

“Wonwoo, we have to go,” you urged, “Jeonghan’s gonna murder us!”

It seemed as if the elderly earthbender’s named held some sort of deadly edge to it as Wonwoo’s eyes shot open and he too began scrambling. 

“Not a word about this to Jeonghan,” you warned him as you laced your hands together and took off in a run. “I’m never hearing the end of it if he knew I spent the night with you.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing?” Wonwoo teased. 

“Jeon Wonwoo!”

. . . .

“So,” Jeonghan stroked his beard. He paced back and forth in his and Wonwoo’s quarters while the two of you kneeled before him in apology. “You’re telling me that you woke up at the crack of dawn to go to town for soup ingredients, but you forgot your money pouch?”

“Yes,” you replied curtly. You nodded once, keeping your eyes trained on the floorboard.

“Interesting,” Jeonghan noted and turned to Wonwoo. “You don’t have anything to add, Mr. General?”

“I do not, sir,” Wonwoo answered. 

Jeonghan whipped out his wooden cane and pointed it in between your eyes. You startled, though you remained in your kneeling position. In the corner of your eye, you could see that Wonwoo was looking on anxiously. Jeonghan never resorted to corporal punishment with you . . . he wouldn’t now right?

Jeonghan extended his cane a little further and poked at your hip, causing a jingling sound. 

Not of bells that decorated your outfit, but rather . . . coins.

“Your pouch is full of money here,” Jeonghan said matter-of-factly. 

“Uh, she didn’t have enough,” Wonwoo added. 

Jeonghan cocked an eyebrow at the younger man and walked over, poking his hip as well. “And you didn’t think of lending her some? Also, why are you wearing my clothes? I admit, my sense of fashion is impeccable, but flame boy, this doesn’t really suit you.”

The both of you were running out of excuses as Jeonghan waited for a response. Per usual, it didn’t take much for you to crack under Jeonghan’s pressure – even when it was your idea to lie to him that Wonwoo and you went to town in the morning. 

“I’m sorry, Jeonghan!” you exclaimed. Your forehead was planted on the ground now. “Wonwoo and I went to the festival without telling you and then we fell asleep on the way home and are just coming home now. I’m sorry!”

There was a long pause before Jeonghan answered, or rather, he laughed at you. 

Slowly, you sat up, confused. Wonwoo looked equally as puzzled. 

The old man was hacking up a cough now, clutching his stomach in humor. 

“D-did I miss something?” you sank back on your heels. 

“No, silly girl!” Jeonghan managed to say in between breaths. He did his best to quell his laugh, though his shoulders still bounced happily. Wiping the corners of his eyes, he continued, “I told you were allowed to go if Wonwoo agreed to go with you, didn’t I? I was just pulling at your leg when I made you kneel.”

“Yoon Jeonghan,” you growled, preparing to launch yourself at the old man. 

Just as he was about to step out of the room, Jeonghan quickly added, “That said, neither of you are still allowed to sleep with each other as long as I am alive. I’ve never been a third wheel in my life and I’m certainly not starting now.”

"Hey!"

"Yah!"

---

The Library of Illusion :: Cult of Dionysus Event

Welcome to the Library of Illusion. A place where legend and reality go hand in hand.

Enter each section if you dare. Your task is simple: collect the keys to unlock the Restricted Section and find the treasure hidden within. Will you suceed?

Updates at 7PM CST on Wednesday and Friday.

➥ ateez ot8 × fem!reader

summary: After finding a box full of information on the infamous Library of Illusion, something only spoken about in her childhood, and the hidden treasure it contains, Y/N decides to track down the library and find out if the rumors are true.

genre/themes/au: non idol au, fantasy, science fiction, horror, history, crime/mystery, adventure, supernatural themes, slight biblical & demonic themes

warnings: adult dialogue, sexual content (mdni 18+), elements of bdsm, female reader × ateez, see each part for further warnings

a/n: this has been a long time coming. I'm so excited to finally be able to unveil this event as we've been holding onto it for a while now. Please make sure to check out the other wonderful works by the other writers on this masterlist!

Thank you so much for reading, as always this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. Banners made by me with help from a template made by @imlevis. All my works are ©️ kwanisms. If you enjoy these works please reblog!

permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife @luvsooby @thesolarplanetarysystem

ateez taglist: @2hodefender @cixrosie @pyeonghongrie-main @flowerboykun @sanjoongie @anyamaris @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @wooyoungmybelovedhusband

special tags: @thelargefrye @hwasdollie

join my taglists: permanent | ateez.

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The Selfish Dilemma || Jeonghan - Part 2

Pairings: Jeonghan x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: It was love at first sight ever since you laid eyes on Jeonghan. To him, you are the annoying co-worker who keeps asking him out. No one is new to your courting agenda which only pisses off Jeonghan but what happens when you stop, all at once....

Word Count: 8k

Warnings (specific to this part): this part is SFW, pinning, lots of office jargons, profanity, tears, everyone is sad, redemption, Jeonghan turns into a love sick puppy, poor Seokmin again, wholesome co-workers Wonwoo, Soonyoung, Jihoon and Joshua, wholesome bestfriend Myeongho, wholesome Seungcheol makes an entry (lmk if I missed any)

Banner credits to my baby @hoeforhao <3

A/N: Thanks to all for showing immense love to the first part of the story. Though initially it was planned to be a twoshot but there's gonna be an Epilogue to this.

[SVT Masterlist] [SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist]

Please heart, comment and reblog, it would really help to keep me going <3

Teaser | Part 1

It's been a week since you started working from home.

Walking out of Jeonghan's cabin had lead you to knocking on your manager's. Mr. Choi, the old man was so worried on seeing your bloodshot eyes and deemed demeanor that as soon as you requested for a week's work from home, he approved it immediately, no questions asked.

It's boring, you'd admit but it's also helpful when you don't have to see Jeonghan's face everyday and sliding over the reject button doesn't really need any effort whenever he calls. His messages are stacking up in your inbox, unread.

Your heart is still hurting, mind is still clouded with the thoughts of that one man whom you love. However, staying at home, away from that ambience, gave you a lot of time to think.

And for the sake of your own peace, you're justifying him. Truth said, you were never lead on Jeonghan. Just brief eye contacts only when talking work. The guy known for having manner hands obviously had no touchy business with anyone except for the times when your clumsy legs slipped, he was somehow there to hold you, everytime. That's it.

Your mind is slowly taking over with rationality and the progress is good enough for you to pretend that you're unbothered when you go back to office next Monday.

Key word: Pretend. And maybe because you're a master in it, thanks to that, you aren't miserable.

Jeonghan is miserable. Because the moment he realises he's with love with you is the moment you're walking out.

He doesn't see you at office for a whole week. You always reject his calls, never respond back to the enormous amount of text he has been sending.

He looks so grief-stricken and he is. Aloofness is something in his nature that he can't do anything about. Always being used to scare people away with one sharp look, he was flabbergasted at your boldness and determination to win him over, which honestly had pissed him at first.

But as the days passed, the itchiness on hearing your voice faded, the furrow in his brows stopped appearing and his heart vacuumed out in his chest whenever he sensed your presence.

He ignored it, all of it because he was sure office romances, well any of sort romantics wasn't for him, proof his last relationship, which had undoubtedly left him scarred and cautious. He has moved on long back and getting adjusted to loneliness shouldn't be a big deal when it always returns to him.

He has been afraid because as you said no one would take his shit, people would leave him one day and he'd just be a spectator at the sidelines holding himself, only having him as his own to pick up the scattered pieces.

When you had joined first, in official terms you were Yoora's replacement. When you started courting him, Jeonghan's mind squared back, afraid of history repeating itself. But he soon realised he was wrong, you weren't Yoora's replacement, you were you and so much more that. You were filling in the cracks formed on his heart with patience, persistency and love. So to save himself from dipping deeper, to save another heartbreak he rooted to his indifference agenda towards you. He chose to ignore his own feelings, chose not to seek answers until it to came down to this.

Turns out by turning you down he wasn't avoiding the inevitable, his heart did break afterall. He wonders how did you handle so many rejections when his gut is withering just from lack of your attention.

Mondays are always blue, but for you it's bluer. Because you know Jeonghan's gonna not let you have it your way.

Till now it's all good, you haven't seen Jeonghan yet. He has already been cooped up in his cabin when you arrived at your desk, he hasn't yet come out of that room once and it's lunchtime.

Chaein doesn't allow anyone else to sit beside you, that's her seat as she claims, "Gosh, I've missed you so much Y/N. It's so difficult to deal with these dumbos without you."

Joshua and Soonyoung gasp in unison.

Seokmin just smiles, he's happy to have you back. But that smile doesn't reach his eyes and you notice that he's unusually quiet. Taking a mental note you corner him later you resume eating. Amidst the chatting and teasing, your eyes stray away searching for that one person.

"He doesn't come here for lunch since last week.", Seokmin says dryly, eyes on the plate, hand which is holding the fork stabbing that poor broccoli. There's no hiding away, you know that Seokmin can read you like an open book.

It's evening and you're mentally preparing yourself because you've to get your design document of a product to be reviewed by Jeonghan. Taking a deep breath you knock on the cabin door. A faint 'come in' reaches your ears and you're suddenly panicking. However, another deep breathe calms you a bit.

Upon entering, the first thing you notice is obviously Jeonghan but what concerns you is his unkempt apperance. The man who falls under the dapper category looked so lost, so deemed. You wonder how could a week do so many changes to a man. Large bags under his eyes, hairs dishevelled, potential weight loss and the list continues.

Jeonghan had been walking on eggshells, even when not around you. He arrived early to office on purpose, avoided crossing the threshold of his cabin and had his curtain blinds rolled over just to not cause you any inconveniences.

He does this because he's scared. What if you see his face and decide to extend your work from home or press on the transfer application. What if he gets to see you lesser and lesser until to the point he doesn't see you at all.

Yes, he's a overthinker.

But he's often taking a peak at you from the gaps of those blinds. You, sitting at your desk, pivoting your full concentration at whatever is there on the screen has Jeonghan admitting that this is the most gratifying sight for him, recently.

"H-How are you?", he avoids eye contact and asks so quietly that you that almost miss it.

The concern for him within you never receded so before you could comprehend the question slips out from your mouth, "Did you have lunch yet?"

Jeonghan's gaze whips at you in shock. Shocked because inspite of everything you're still looking out for him, he's also relieved because of same.

"I'll grab something later--"

"It's almost evening Jeonghan, you shouldn't be needing anyone to fill you about your health and eating habits.", you say sternly, "Anyways it's upto you. I just came to get the document reviewed."

You take the seat opposite to him and just as you were about to speak, he beats you.

"Will you go out with me?"

You are choking on air, eyes round as saucers, almost jabbing your ears in case you're hearing everything wrong.

Jeonghan thinks his heart could burst in chest any moment, it wasn't the plan to ask you so abruptly, then again when has Jeonghan did the right thing at the right time.

"Yes.", you say nonchalantly, out of anger, out of spite and out of hurt. You're in disbelief of his audacity to mock your feelings again, that he's the same selfish prick you've known.

Jeonghan thinks this time he's hearing you wrong, so he gapes at you.

"I can go out of this cabin with or without you.", you continue, lips curled up in mockery, "For all other places, it's a no."

Jeonghan slumps back a little, what did he expect.

He nods and you resume to brief him on the design model. Once done, you're walking out. As your hands hover over the handle of the door, he calls your name.

"Do you hate me?", you hear him ask.

You don't turn back when you say, "Yes.", and walk out.

Jeonghan wonders if the first one hurts like hell, how will he handles the others and he hasn't even started.

The whole office is murmuring. But what all can be prominently heard are gasps and breath hitches.

The reason, Yoon Jeonghan. The man who's always wearing staple colours and long coats is donning a scarlet satin shirt paired with a high waist tailored pant today.

A chic office attire to suffice it subtly. And people are finding it impossible to take eyes off him.

"Woah, what's the occasion?", Jihoon asks Soonyoung, the two standing by the entrance on hearing the mild commotion.

Soonyoung scoffs, "Isn't it pretty obvious? Y/N's the occasion.", he is utterly pissed because all he could think about is his dear friend Seokmin and the zero progress made on his end.

You have just settled on your chair, almost exhausted even before the day started because of the scorching heat draining your the energy.

Taking your phone out, you are putting your work playlist on when you sense something vibrant from the periphery of your vision.

Head up, your eyes go wide, mouth agape on seeing Jeonghan walking through the door. Your favourite colour on him makes no sense at all when you could think that it has been all wrong, no one had ever did the minimum justice to that colour.

Jeonghan's gaze perks up at you, lips curled up in a triumphant smile. He watches as you legit choke on air, eyes locked on him. He saunters to your desk and says, "I've never worn something like this to office before, does it look okay?"

Your mind squares to zero as it produces absolutely nothing. Blinking owlishly at him, you somehow manage to give him a nod. When Jeonghan enters his cabin you slump on the chair, pinching the bridge of your nose because you're sure that you're gonna get a nosebleed today.

And then the torment starts. You are getting called by Jeonghan frequently and everytime he demands your attention you're finding it difficult to maintain an eye contact with him.

"So which model are we going to approach, Y/N?", Jeonghan knowingly puts you to test.

"We are going with A.", you say uncertainly as you look up at him.

Jeonghan bites back the smile, "I thought we decided to go with B?"

Your eyes widen and you're mumbling an apology, "Sorry, yes. I'll setup a meet with my team and come up with possible queries pertaining to it."

Jeonghan nods and you take it as a que to leave.

"Will you go out with me?", your hear him ask.

"No.", you're amazed how it naturally slips out of your mouth and wonder if someday you'd actually mean it for real, not out of hurt or spite.

"Do you hate me?"

You sigh and look away before muttering a 'yes'.

You are aware very well that Jeonghan's attire for the day is of your likes. While you wonder how he knows about your favourite colour, Jeonghan reminiscence why whenever he sees anything in the shades of red, you cross his mind.

"Oh my god! Taylor is re-recording my favourite album of hers.", you squeal out scrolling through your tumblr feeds and look at Jeonghan, "Red will always be superior because those tracks build me in a way and it's my favourite colour as well."

You fill in Jeonghan at the lunch knowing he won't lend an ear to your words. But you've developed this habit and you like to do it anyways.

Jeonghan misses your monologues so he avoids going to canteen for lunch because it hits him how lonely he'll always be and the image of the empty seat in front confirms it. He never responded, never heard but he always listened.

Also, that wasn't the only evidence, the colour of your car, to the frame of the family photo on your desk to your earpods, to the souvenirs you've bought or showed him, to the nail paints you'd put on, they're all something in the shades of red.

It did leave Jeonghan amused as well when he realized he remembers all of this. Like his heart, his brain too by hearts anything and everything related to you and he doesn't need to be genius anymore to know the reason.

He watches you leave but a small smile sets on his lips because today he realised he still has that effect on you so he wishes he can make the thwarting from your end to cease soon.

You wanna make him wear his heart on sleeves and he's willing do it just for you.

Seokmin is done for the day and he plans to drop by the grocery store since he's running out of stock. Just as he enters the parking lot, he finds you leant against his car door.

You wave hands at him and he gives you a small smile.

"I thought you left.", he comments casually, hands searching inside the bag for the car keys.

"I was waiting for you, we need to talk.", you sound so serious that Seokmin halts his actions and looks at you alarmingly.

And his eyes urges you to speak further.

"Not here definitely.", your eyes scan around as you speak, "Do you have other plans tonight?"

Seokmin nods, "I have a friend to meet.", he lies and then proceeds to tell his actual plan, "also have to do some grocery shopping."

You nod dejected, "Okay, then. Let me know when you're ready to talk, I feel there's a shift in our dynamics and I'm afraid that I might have done something wrong unintentionally."

You don't wait for this response as you walk out of the lane leaving Seokmin frozen. He didn't think you'd have time from thinking over Jeonghan to focus on something that's related to him. He never thought you'd notice.

Now, he feels sorry when he sees your slouched demeanor, how did he end up adding more to your plate when you're already brimming.

So he decides to do both of you a favour.

Next day at lunch, you are eating quietly with Chaein gushing in about the hot and also smart guy she went on a date with when someone unpleasant suddenly crosses your mind.

"Where's Seonji? I haven't seen her since I started working from office again."

Joshua's bambi eyes widened more when he realises he had missed to spill this tea to you, "About that...", he takes the weightage when your undivided attention pivots on him, "Remember that day at the cafeteria when she intended to claim that she would be dating Jeonghan? So after you left, Jeonghan warned her about reporting to HR and when she failed some submissions by EOD, he immediately reported to her manager and had her removed from the team."

"Not gonna lie, he's damn scary. Remember how he berated me that day, what a meanie, I could still cry thinking about it.", Chaein claims and shrugs as she throws you a knowing look, "I've heard that he has had over three women reported to the HR department because they over stepped the boundaries they should never as a colleague."

"Since he's behaving out of character for the past days, I realised that apart from the indifference, I've never seen him being a scrooge to you actually.", Joshua almost talks over Chaein, "Rather he always seems to casual, if I might add, comfortable whenever around you. I don't know how it was at the beginning, this is what it has been since I've joined."

"That's what. Jeonghan is scary to everyone. And since he started pulling whatever shit nowadays, he is only doing it for Y/N and he has done it for no one else ever.", Chaein claims.

You gape at the two faces mutely before asking, "Is Jeonghan paying you both for saying this?"

Chaein rolls her eyes. Joshua snorts.

You turned to your last resort, the man whose sole focus is whatever on his plate, calmly eating which makes you doubt if he is even aware of any the conversation that's taking place around him.

"Jihoon", you try to gain his attention and when the said man looks at you with the most neutral expression, you know it's useless but still you tell him anyways, "These two", you point at Joshua and Chaein, "are potentially fraternising with my enemy. But I can trust you right?"

"We're not Y/N.", Chaein chimes in, "and after witnessing everything, we'd never support Jeonghan. It's just... we spoke out our minds."

Jihoon stares at Chaein, at Joshua and then at you, mutely, making the three of you anxious.

"Honestly I'm not at all amused at Jeonghan.", he says and before anyone of you could intercept he continues, "Because you were the one I was amused at, it was beyond my comprehension how persistent you were when he didn't even bat an eyelash at you. If you could show persistence, I believe Jeonghan could also show.... what I'm guessing is redemption. We all have different mechanism. We all work differently."

You gulp nervously at his words but an assuring pat from Jihoon washes the weariness away.

"But at the end of the day, it's you and your validations. If you think he's gimmicking slap him accross. If you think he's sincere, give him a chance at explaining. If you think he had made you suffer enough, either don't waste another ink of thought on him or return all those sufferings to him before allowing him to do anything else.", he wiping the corners of his lips with the tissue and getting up, "That's what. At the end, it should be you. How you treat Jeonghan should come from within you, not me, not anyone else, no third party opinion should matter unless you want to adhere onto some."

And when Jihoon walks out leaving you speechless, Chaein squeals, "And what if I develop a crush on Jihoon because of the damn clear headed man he is?"

"Then you'll have me as your competition.", Joshua quips back instantly and though you don't react, you relate to both of them. His words ring in your head and suddenly you're feeling dizzy.

When you return to your desk, as always a red rose awaits you in the vase and as always you never have the heart to throw it away, so it stays because you know Jeonghan's gonna replace it the next day.

He is always waiting for you at the entrance nowadays and even all you do is wryly greet him out of courtesy he follows you like a puppy.

"Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep well yesterday? There's going to be fest, do you wanna go, I can try to get the tickets even though there's a huge demand...."

While the security gives you both a meaningful look, now that the roles have reversed. He glares at them and proceeds with his attempts of small talks even without getting a response as if he's talking to himself until you halt at your desk and he halts on his words followed by a 'have a nice day' before entering his cabin.

It's intriguing how a man could self sabotage his dear vehicle often because most of the days he says his car is given for servicing or the tyres are punctured, flat out so he could ride home with you, albeit to spend some extra time with you in solace.

"Why is there no traffic today?", Jeonghan says dejected and doesn't realise he has let out his thoughts a little too loud.

"What?", you turn to side, just to glare at him when you see the man sitting beside you practically freeze.

"I-I mean, there's a lot of traffic generally but it's a lot less today... It's a g-good thing..."

"Do you want me as your designated driver now because at this rate I'm driving you home almost everyday.", the words come out of your mouth harsher than intended, "You don't have anyone else to put you through right?"

Jeonghan has his eyes wide in horror and he blurts out a no, "Please that's not my intention. I-I'm sorry for making you feel this way. I-I'll stop. You can pull over. I'll get off and take a taxi from here."

You don't do so and also feel bad when he goes mute throughout the rest of the ride.

You find it funny how Jeonghan is never subtle about his business with you. People who see you two would believe that he's courting you and if you didn't know him better you'd think that he's in love with you.

But that's what, you do know him so you know his motive could be anything but love.

Jeonghan's mind is filled with all the things he had been trying to get your attention and how he failed in all of them.

He is frustrated throughout as the days pass by and that seeps into him deeper today so much that he's sobbing when he punches the passcode of his house.

He's worried about the sincerity which either he's not able to express or you're not being able to see, rightfully. He has thought of confessing his feelings several times but he knows by doing that now, he'd gonna loose you faster, you're never gonna believe him because you don't trust him anymore.

He walks in, sets his bag and gets the scare of his life when the lights turn on and he hears someone.

"I thought I'd never get to see you. Do you always work this late? I got bored waiting, so made myself something barely edible because you're fridge needs restock--"

When their gaze meet, Jeonghan's teary eyes cuts off the one speaking.

"Cheol...", Jeonghan sounds so defeated as he stays rooted to the place, gaze dropped, calling out his best friend's name. Seungcheol nearly freezes, but next he's running to Jeonghan, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey, it's okay.", Seungcheol gently caresses his back, keeping his own shock at bay because it's rare to see his friend crying. In the span of seventeen years of their friendship, he has seen Jeonghan cry only once and now it's the second time he's witnessing it.

After he calms down, Seungcheol asks, "Do you wanna talk about it?". Jeonghan just nods but doesn't say anything so Seungcheol waits.

"I'm in love, Cheol...", and this is how Jeonghan starts and vents out anything and everything he thinks he need to let his best friend know.

All Seungcheol does is give him a smile and that sets Jeonghan really off.

"Seriously? You're smiling?"

Phone calls or facetimings aren't the things that work with Jeonghan, particularly. So it's always Seungcheol who's calling him to get updates from him, very well knowing that he is only termed 'close' friend Jeonghan has and even though he never admits but Jeonghan always looks forward to get his calls.

"Thought you were dead. Didn't take you the kind to control your urge of disturbing my peace for a whole month."

Seungcheol could hear the gruffness from the other side and he answers with a laugh, "It wouldn't actually kill you to admit that you were so worried that you dropped me a text and you actually missed me."

"Whatever floats your boat."

Seungcheol knows about you, ofcourse through Jeonghan's words as an annoying colleague who kept asking him out. And so does Seungcheol know that you maybe not be actually annoying, that you must be someone special to Jeonghan for him to mention you in almost every call he had with his keeper, his best friend.

"Are you sure, you hate this Y/N? Because you never fail to mention her... It's just you don't bring up anyone this often."

"Uh puh-lease, I'm allowed to rant about something that irks me and you've no choice but to listen."

Often termed as tsundere and ignored by people partly because of the aloof aura he emitted, it was the same factor for which Seungcheol found Jeonghan intriguing and as adament he was on being friends with him, he actually achieved it.

So whenever he heard about you, he always got reminded of himself.

"You should have called me, Han--"

"But you were out of country for the conference, I didn't wanna bother you--"

"Nonsense.", Seungcheol scoffs, "So it took her to walk out on you, for you to realise that you're in love with her. That's so typical of you."

Jeonghan sighs and his lips sets out in a pout as he rants further, "I'm such an idiot. That day she was having a headache so I made her a cup of black coffee but...", his eyes are set on his fingers those are drawing random pattern on the fabric of the pants he's wearing, "I could see that she was looking forward to having it. And after she took the first sip, her face literally fell."

Jeonghan gets teary again on reminiscing the memory again,"I had put two spoons of sugar because I thought it turned a lot bitter but that's how she'd would have liked it.", then he looks at Seungcheol, "I know how dampening a wrong coffee could get you but she didn't scold me whereas if it would have been me, I'd given shit to anyone who would have gotten my coffee wrong. She always knew my preferences and likes but me...", he exhales sharply, "I know nothing compared to that. I can't even get her coffee right. I really don't deserve her."

Seungcheol's heart pains seeing his best friend in this plight. He hopes you're just going through a phase because he knows apart from him, you're the only one who actually didn't cower away from Jeonghan because of his cold exterior.

"Did you confess to her?", Seungcheol asks.

Jeonghan shakes his head, "I want to but... She won't believe me and I-I think she hates me enough, I don't wanna add to it."

"Are you serious right now?", Seungcheol chuckles in disbelief, "Imagine yourself being in her shoes once. You confess to someone everyday, only to get rejected every single time and suddenly when you decide to stop pursuing him, he's doing questionable things for you which is all new to you and what would it feel like--", he walks up to where Jeonghan is seated and crouches, "It would be confusing, it would hurt you because all you could think about is why he would be doing all this, what can his motive be."

Jeonghan's eyes widen as the realisation gnaws on him. He stiffens for some moments. His gaze drops as he speaks, "And she'd never think that it all might be out of longing and love because all I've given her is 'I hate yous' but never a single 'I love you'."

"So she needs to know that, Han. You need to confess, and we both know believing is hard on her part. So that's on you, to pursue her, to make her believe that your feelings are sincere because for the past years she has been doing it everyday, without a fail.", Seungcheol pats on his arms, "Bare yourself out infront of her, keep trying but stop when you think it's time."

Jeonghan's eyes are twinkling with new found hope now, all thanks to his best friend.

"How long are you planning to stay here?", Jeonghan asks, "You're out by tomorrow right?"

Seungcheol tsks, "This is what I get for being the best friend. How disappointing."

"I'm hungry, make me something.", Jeonghan is back to his unbothered self as if a switch is flipped, "And also, don't you dare to sneak into my bed later, I'll kick you out."

Seungcheol feigns hurt and gives him the biggest puppy eyes, "You know I need to hug someone when I sleep--"

"I have given you extra pillows for some reason--"

"But they're not as cuddly as you, Han.--"

"Get yourself a partner, gosh. And spare me."

"About that, I went on a date the day before yesterday and--"

"I'm not interested Cheol. I'm hungry. Give me food."

"It's your birthday next week and you won't be getting any gift from me for being shitty."

The banter ends at midnight with Seungcheol sneaking into the bed when Jeonghan is awake but good news, he doesn't gets kicked out of the bed.

Seokmin is finally ready to have a heart to heart time with you.

When he proactively texted you this instance, you immediately invited him to your house to talk over dinner in hopes to mend any mistakes you made, in hopes to reunite with your same old dearest Seokmin.

But you notice him being oddly quiet today as he has been for the past few days. The Seokmin who always talks animatedly is not uttering a word unless it's a reply to a question coming from you.

You hand him the ice cream bowl while he's seated on your couch and you take the seat on the opposite end.

"So are we going to address the elephant in the room?", your gaze is fixed on your bowl when you speak.

Seokmin's head whips in your direction and he thinks it's now or never. He had headed out to your place with only one motive, that is to get the weight off his chest, that is to confess.

"Did I do something to hurt you?", you ask in a small voice, "I know I can be really thick headed and I'm really sorry if I have hurt you, just know whatever it was, it was unintentional."

Seokmin's heart constricts looking at your sincere eyes, hearing you spill apologies without being at fault, knowing that you truly treasure him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe before opening them only to meet your uncertain gaze.

"I have something to say to you", when he says this, he could feel his heart now thumping vigorously within his chest, beads of sweat forming on his forehead even in the air conditioned room.

You get up and shift to sit beside him. Seokmin thinks the whisk of your scent is overwhelming and the proximity is making his stomach churn.

"Seokmin--"

"I love you, Y/N. I've loved you for long now."

You freeze. Seokmin halts. The hands of the clock moves but time doesn't pass by.

"I'm sorry...", that's the first thing you blurt out and Seokmin smiles.

"It's not you fault Y/N. You've been so in love with Jeonghan that everyone around you faded into the background because all you could focus on was him.", Seokmin bites his tongues to stop those tears pooling in his eyes from falling, "Maybe because you love so openly and I'm exactly the opposite, you could never relate to me."

"That's not it, Seokmin.", your hands itch to hold his but you don't know if you could do that anymore because you think you've hurt him enough, "You're a good guy Min, too good to be true. But how could I have known that whenever you comforted me, you also needed to be comforted. You didn't have to be so cruel on yourself, when I couldn't pick myself up, you shouldn't have been the one to always pick me up, you should have let others do that."

Seokmin lets out a sob and he's choking out the words, "Y-You know it's impossible when you're in love. You should be knowing this when you're... you're going through this as well. And I'm sorry for bringing this up at a time like this but trust me--"

His words halt again when you embrace him tight and place his head on your shoulders, one hand stroking his hair, another caressing his back, "You brought this up because it was constricting your breathes. You brought this up when you were at the edge, when you couldn't hold it in anymore. Thanks for putting yourself before me, this one time. You shouldn't be apologizing when you did nothing wrong."

Your voice cracks when you say, "I can't reciprocate your feelings Min because I'm trying to get over someone I love. I don't want to give you false hope. You don't deserve to be someone's replacement or rebound. All you deserve is the best."

Seokmin's sobs doesn't tend to cease and he is fisting the fabric of your shirt, "Why did you have to be so understanding? Why didn't you just shout at me or kick me out of your house? How do I move on Y/N? How do I get rid of this habit of loving you?"

This time you're choking a sob, "If I knew the answers to the question, trust me my life would have been a lot easier. I'm a sufferer too, Min."

You pull away and wipe his tears with gentle hands and he does the same to you. Now that he is looking at you, you wonder how you missed the love he's radiating for you all this time. You wonder what if it was Seokmin instead of Jeonghan whom you loved.

But all those what's and if's wouldn't mean anything now. Your heart is breaking because out of all things, you never thought you would be the one to massively hurt Seokmin.

Seokmin knew that this would be the outcome. But what pierces his heart into pieces is the way you're blaming yourself, even though it's no one's fault.

Feelings can't be controlled. The heart wants what it wants.

A tap on his arm pivots his attention back to the present. His eyes dart on you as he waits for you.

"Listen to me carefully, this is for you. What do you want me to do for you now?"

Seokmin shots you a confusing look.

"I mean, I'd understand if you don't want to see me for the time being, I'll try not to show up in front of you during the the office hours. If you wanna cut contact, do it, go ahead and block me. Do whatever you feel like doing but promise me you'd come back, I'm sorry if I'm being selfish here, I treasure you too much to loose you."

Seokmin looks dead in your eyes that actually scares you for a moment.

"Don't be ridiculous.", He scolds you, "And don't even thinking of pulling any of those stunts you just mentioned. I'll be okay. We'll be okay."

You heave in relief and Seokmin smiles.

Though you are reluctant to let Seokmin drive back home given the condition, he persists he'll be fine. So you feed him some more ice cream, engage him in small talks and hug him one more time before he's out of the threshold of your house.

When Seokmin walks to where his car is parked he's shocked to see Wonwoo and Soonyoung waiting for him.

"What are you both doing here?", he asks.

"Y/N had texted us.", Wonwoo says as he fished out his car keys, "I'll drive you home."

"And I'll drive your car to your home.", Soonyoung holds his hand flat asking for the car keys, "Then Wonwoo will drop me off, in case you're still curious."

Seokmin is stunned but nonetheless hands him the keys. He now gets why were you so stubborn on feeding him icecream and even engaging in small random talks, it was all to buy some time.

"We can stay if you want us to.", Wonwoo offers and Soonyoung nods. And Seokmin feels his heart is swelling too tight within his chest.

He looks at both of them, thinks of you and smiles in gratitude.

Jeonghan knocks on your desk as soon as he passes by meaning he wants you in and enters his cabin.

You are already emotionally and mentally drained for not getting proper sleep since Seokmin's confession episode happened. Today is particularly exhausting for some reason and you even considered taking the day off but that important client meeting had your feet dragged to the office premise.

"Y/N, I need to tell you something.", Jeonghan says when you enter and gestures you to take a seat.

"Look, I'm really exhausted. If it's something related to work then go ahead otherwise let's keep it shelved for now.", you say sharply.

Jeonghan doesn't let your words sting much and continues, "Are you okay? If you want some rest, you can use my restroom."

You chuckle, "It's really tempting when I have this killing headache but no, I don't want people to get the wrong idea. They're already having ridiculous speculations. Thanks for offering though."

"What speculations?", Jeonghan asks genuinely confused.

"You're really gonna make me say it?", you roll eyes and when you're met by his curious gaze you sigh.

"They think you're courting me. Some are even saying that you're in love with me.", you laugh dryly.

"And what if it's true?", Jeonghan says pacing away and locking the door. He comes back and places both his hands on the armrests, hovering over you.

Your eyes blow wide at the proximity and mind almost short circuits at his question.

"C-Can you shift back a bit?", you are literally stumbling upon your words, "I-It's suffocating."

However, Jeonghan has no intention of doing so, rather he inches closer and says, "You didn't answer me, what if those speculations are true?"

This time you scoff, "You can fool all those people out there but you can't fool me. Because I know how much you hate me so... coming to that, I was meaning to ask you, about your motive. Why are you pulling all those acts?"

Jeonghan knows that he'd face this question so he answers honestly, "There's only one motive Y/N. I know you'd find it hard to believe but listen carefully to what I'm gonna say now."

A moment passes by and you wait but with no eagerness. He knows that office is not a right place to confess when you both are clogged into the working hours. He knows you deserve a lot more than this but he's afraid that he doesn't start now, it'll be late.

So he does it anyways, "I love you, Y/N. And that's the only motive. It's love."

He continues, "I'd admit that I found you annoying when you started asking me out but that annoyance gradually faded. I got used to your affection and caring. I liked the essence of you. Office wasn't boring, I wasn't lonely anymore because I had you. I had realised long before that it wasn't hate as what I used to say, you are that flower that blossomed through the cracks of heart by nurturing it with love and care. And before I could actually realize my true feelings, I started reciprocating yours. I am in love with you."

You are absolutely frozen and next, Jeonghan is panicking when he sees the tears pooling at the corner of your eyes.

"You!", you are fuming in rage as you hit his chest, "Such a jerk!", another hit, "Still making fun of my feelings", another one, "using it against me", and he is encasing your hands within his when you say, "Why are you so cruel? Why don't you admit that you don't actually love me but you love the feeling of having someone pinning on you."

"W-What?", Jeonghan feels insulted, his hands are leaving yours and he's pulling back, now standing strout in front of you, "No. No Y/N, you can't just deduct conclusions for yourself, you can't make assumptions for me. You can't validate how I feel! That's so wrong!"

His eyes peer down at you, "How long have you known me Y/N? How well do you know me?"

His question catches you off guard.

Your tear soaked lashes blink at him owlishly. Just as you open your mouth, he interrupts you, "Think about all the time you've spent with me.  Since the day we met to till date. If you know me well you'll get the answer yourself."

Jeonghan suddenly crouches infront of you. Next, he's wiping your tears with his thumbs and stroking your hair with hesitancy at first and when you don't retort he continues doing so while looking at you with those soft almond eyes.

"Please don't cry, don't waste your tears on me cause I'm not worth of those.", he pleads eyes turning grim, "Seeing you cry, breaks my heart."

And that's what you've known about him. Though he could always pull a poker face effortlessly, his eyes give away the emotions.

Like now, those orbs are radiating warmness and endearment.

"If you're feeling unwell, please take the day off. I'll handle the client meeting.", he requests but you're already spilling out protests.

"No. I know how strenuous and lengthy these meetings can be and like last time I can't let you take that--."

"I love you."

Your eyes go wide again and Jeonghan lets out a chuckle.

"Get used to it because like you..", he drawls the words, "I can be very persistent.", and smiles while stroking your hair, "I'll keep trying until you see how sincere my feelings are for you."

And you don't like how loud your heart is thumping at his words.

Currently you're at home, earlier than the time estimated because luckily, the client meeting got cancelled.

It's also a relief that your headache has subsided because you need time. Time to think, time to comprehend everything and time to collect your thoughts.

Jeonghan is a man of few words, it's his actions those are always loud. He knows that a line should never be crossed. He knows when and where to draw a boundary.

And you know what he's doing is completely his personal business because he doesn't care what others think, doesn't entertain his space being invaded by others. You know because that's how Jeonghan is, added to it some of the instances that you had witnessed.

Your mind reels back to when Chaein decided to be a little bold. It was during lunch oneday when Jeonghan decided to visit the canteen which he rarely did nowadays. Not wanting to interrupt your lunch and relax session with your group, even though a seat beside you was empty, he occupied the table adjacent to yours and kept eating quietly, throwing glances at you every now and then.

"That's enough, we should know what's his deal is.", Chaein suddenly claims with newfound confidence, "I'm gonna ask him what he's actually trying to pull."

You and Soonyoung gape at her shocked.

"That's Jeonghan, Chae. Do you not have any fear for your dear life?", Joshua quips dramatically but with concern.

Chaein doesn't bother to lend ear to anyone's comments or your protests.

"Hey Jeonghan", she calls him out and when the said man looks at her she continues, "What are you trying to do these days? Do you have feelings for Y/N or what?"

The condescending look that Jeonghan gave her, spiked shivers within everyone who saw it, including you.

"Seo Chaein", you could see him seething, "I don't understand how this concerns you. Are you Y/N's newly appointed spokesperson, if so then are you getting paid well?", his lips curl in a smirk, "Or is this a habit of yours, being unnecessarily nosy in others business."

He doesn't wait for any retorts, he just leaves. And the rest of you are left consoling the teary Chaein.

You are shrugging off the not so pleasant memory when you receive a text from Jeonghan.

Not a new occurance, he is very punctual in sending you texts, absolute random texts.

And today, he has sent you snap. Your eyes go wide like saucers when you download the image, it's a screenshot of Taylor's speak now re-recording announcement of her recent Instagram post.

Before you could actually comprehend, your fingers are texting back a 'what!! are you serious rn?'

And then you're banging your head on the pillow.

Jeonghan thinks he's hallucinating when his phone dinges a notification of your name. He types back a quick 'yes' and an 'i love you' in a response and now he's giggling like a teenager in love, rolling on the bed, kicking blankets and throwing fists in air.

Seungcheol who had stopped by his door to ask him something, eyes him in horror, thinking at first that his dear friend is possessed but a moment later he guesses the reason correctly. Also he's quick to record the moment for personal reference.

"Did Y/N finally respond back?", Seungcheol ask and lets out a laugh when Jeonghan practically freezes.

He's poised and all stoic in a no time as he sits up in his bed and gives a nod before asking, "What do you want?"

Seungcheol doesn't bother to ask anything, he just sends the video to Jeonghan and sprints back to the guest room.

The colours of his face drain when he watches the video and next, he is banging on the door yelling, "Choi Seungcheol, you're dead if you don't delete that video right now!", he bangs harder, "Yah! Seungcheol open this goddamn door!"

Inside the room, Seungcheol is snickering while putting on the headphones, that video obviously stays.

"That haircut suits you.", Chaein says as she takes the seat beside him.

Seokmin smiles, "Oh, thank you. I wasn't sure how it would turn out."

"Come on, you're damn gorgeous. Anything would suit you.", she speaks out nonchalantly as a matter of fact causing the man being spoke out turn into a brighter shade of red.

"How have you been?", she asks and Seokmin understands the insinuation.

"Well, it's not as bad as I thought it would be. To be honest I feel empty because I've been holding it in me so long and now that I've let it all out, it's not as painful, just the emptiness settling it. I'd gradually move on. Y/N is helping me a lot, sounds funny right but she is. And so is Soonyoung and Wonwoo."

Chaein pats on his back, giving a proud smile, "You're doing great and remember you have me as well, Min. Please reach out to me anytime you feel like."

"Thanks Chae, much appreciated."

"I was planning to ask everyone for dinner after work.", she says, "You were always the one to initiate those but nowadays we don't go out much as a group and I really miss our eat-outs."

Seokmin feels bad and realizes that things need to get back to normal because that's how he and everyone stays happy.

"We're going out to our usual restaurant tonight.", he announces and is quickly texting the same words in the group chat, "I'll pull in everyone including, Wonwoo. Who doesn't come without a valid reason, gets kicked out of the group."

Chaein lets out a hearty laugh.

Myeongho glares at the man seated in front of him, in his house. The man in front almost cowers away because of the apparent daggers your best friend is shooting at him with his eyes.

"We can't accept this.", Myeongho says eyeing hamper that Jeonghan has bought with him, "Why are you here?", he interrogates, tone too loud which prompts his wife Miso to put a 'tone it down' hand on his shoulder.

Jeonghan thinks whatever he's doing today is absolutely abrupt because first, shows up at Myeongho's house unannounced. Second, if you haven't told him yet then he's gonna reveal his feelings for you to him. Third, well he'll get to that.

When Myeongho says he already had a call with you and he knows, Jeonghan thinks it's time to come clean about his intentions.

So he does, he explains everything, every thought process he went through over the course of time he has known you. How his feelings changed over time, how his perception graded as the time went by. And finally, how he went from hating to sickeningly loving you.

He is so detailed even when verbally exhibiting the timelines of all the realisations those had hit him, that it leaves Myeongho and Miso are stunned.

"Jeonghan", Miso manages to speak, "Why?", she pauses before continuing, "What are you here? What's the meaning of you explaining all this to us?"

Jeonghan smiles, the one that could sooth a heart, "Myeongho has been her best friend since childhood. And you, Miso, I remember her telling once that she doesn't have to worry about Myeongho anymore because he has you. She trust you both with each other and more than that she considers you as her family. She's so excited for the little one, she's used to mention it almost everyday. I wonder who's she sharing her day to day chimes with."

The tears those pricks at the corners of her eyes, Miso blames them on the pregnancy hormones.

"And her family deserves to know that the guy who's courting her inhibits no malicious intentions towards her. I really love her.", Jeonghan sounds sullen when he speaks further, "I know I don't deserve her after all the things I've put her through, but I wish to make up to her no matter how long it takes only if she's willing to give me a chance."

Jeonghan doesn't like how vulnerable love has made him because nowadays, he can't speak of you without getting teary, like now.

Myeongho heaves a sigh. He observes Jeonghan carefully and is even shocked when he notices him trying to wipe his tears discreetly.

"When she used to say that you are a good man, that only your exterior is tough, I used to disregard her saying she's saying this just to defend you, just because she's in love with you.", Myeongho gives a small smile, "But now I could see that she really saw you for who you are. It's upto her, whether she'll accept you or not, but better make up for all the hurt you caused her."

"We're rooting for you.", Miso adds lightly.

Jeonghan's chest swells at their words and just as he's about to leave, Myeongho stops and hugs him. That's when he thinks he has got all the support he needs.

"What's going on here?"

Everyone freezes when they hear your voice.

"What are you doing here Jeonghan?", you walk upto where they're stood.

"He just came to say hi.", Myeongho blurts out hurriedly.

You take a glance at the three faces swiftly, "Okay. Have fun, sorry to interrupt."

Then you're walking out. Myeongho and Miso gives Jeonghan a pleading look and Jeonghan nods before chasing you.

A hand wraps around your wrist and suddenly you're pulled back to his chest. Jeonghan takes the chance to snake his arms around you.

"What are you doing? Unhand me now.", you say, trying to wriggle out of his embrace, which only makes him engulf you in tighter.

"I don't want to.", he says, "Not until you listen to  what I've to say."

Your gaze sweep across and you hiss, "People are watching Jeonghan."

"You know that I never cared about what others think right?", he dips down low so that you could feel his breathes fanning over.

"If you're trying to kiss me then don't.", you whisper.

"I'm not.", he grins mischievously, "It's not that I get to admire you so closely often."

"Who knew you could be this cheeky?", you roll eyes at him, "So won't you tell me what you were doing at my best friends house?"

"I'll tell you that later. And please don't get mad at them, they didn't even know that I was gonna drop by today."

You finally manage to get out of his grip, "Okay fine."

Jeonghan pouts but being good at reflex he gets hold of your hands and says "Since tomorrow is my birthday, can I request something?"

Ofcourse you remember, it's his birthday tomorrow. For the past years you prepared his gifts over a considerable span of time because they had to be special and you curated them with love.

You were the first one to wish him, making sure to call him when the clock stroke 12 at night. Though you never made him cut cakes incase he'd feel uncomfortable, you made him cakes every year and along with other gifts you had them delivered at his address. In return, you'd always recieve a thank you text and that was enough for you.

"Y/N?"

Jeonghan's voice breaks your reverie.

You eye in him with uncertainty and Jeonghan assures you catching on it, "Don't worry, I won't be asking you to do something arduous."

"I'll hear out your request only if you fulfill mine."

Jeonghan is not sure why he's heart is twisting uncomfortably in his chest when he hasn't even heard you out yet. He says, "As long as it's within my vicinity, I try to fulfill it."

"Oh trust me it is.", you say calmly.

"What is it, Y/N?"

You give him a cold smile when you say, "Don't interfere with my transfer request. Let Mr. Choi process it."

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip. ©️

---

Useful Skills

Shadow Summoner! Fem Reader x Kaz Brekker

SPOILERS for Wylans story arc and season two of shadow and bone.

Slow Burn with Kaz because he deserves someone willing to go his pace.

Synopsis: Kaz needs new blood and it comes in the form of Wylan's childhood best friend. A powerful Grisha.

warnings: angst, I did my best to be accurate to Kaz but show Kaz is a little different from Book Kaz so I'm still learning, general angsty crap, and mention of the reader being related to the darkling (trying to make it a little accurate to the books/show)

You had known Wylan Van Eck for almost 8 years, your mother was a maid in his house. You and your mother lived in the servant's quarters on the Van Eck property, meaning you spent almost all your time around him and his family. You never went to a proper school, your mother didn't want you to when you lived in Ravka in case the Grisha testers came. She kept your abilities hidden until you moved to Ketterdam where Grisha testers wouldn't find you.

Your mother died a few years ago, and you left the Van Eck house and found work as a server in a Pub. It was not a job you were happy with but it kept a roof over your head so you would suffer through it for now. You lost touch with Wylan until one day when he entered the pub with three other people.

You almost didn't recognize him, he hadn't grown much from when he was a child but he looked a little more confident. He was sitting against a lanky zemeni boy, exchanging hopelessly smitten glances. Opposite them was a woman dressed in a beautiful gown and a man clad in all black with almost no skin showing. They were in complete contrast to Wylan and the Zemeni boy, sitting as far away from each other as possible.

It was the end of your shift when another server seated them in a booth at the far end of the pub. You knew you had to walk past them to get to the back, where your bag was stored in a small closet away from customers, but walking past meant possibly being recognized.

You hadn't left the Van Eck residence in good faith, having lost your temper at Wylans father for working your mother into the ground and causing her death. When Wylan had tried to speak with you, you had snapped at him and stormed away. Did he hold that against you and would he be hostile? Why was he here of all places?

You tried not to think about it, walking straight passed the table and through the back. You stumbled around the chefs and untied your apron, shoving it in your bag. You took a deep breath before heading back the way you came. You opened the door and stepped out, sidestepping around another waiter serving food at a table close by. As you tried to walk past the table Wylan was seated at, a cane blocked your path.

You stared down at the black cane blocking your path, following it to the gloved hand which held it. You didn't have to remember his name to know who he was.

The man clad in black stared at you, "Y/N, take a seat."

You almost laughed, stopping yourself before offending the bastard of the barrel, "And why would I do that?"

"Because your skills are wasted here."

You would be lying if you weren't interested. But how did Dirtyhands, leader of the Dregs, know what skills you had?

The Zemeni slid over a little more on his side of the booth, dragging Wylan along with him. You hesitantly sat down, avoiding eye contact with Wylan.

"Hi," Wylan squeaked out, offering a shy smile. Your heart melted slightly Wylan was the kindest soul you had ever met. He wouldn't dare hurt a fly and didn't deserve the mistreatment he got from his father.

"Hey,' You replied, feeling any tension resolve. You offered him a smile, watching the anxiety melt away from his face. To further remove any tension, you stole a piece of bread from his plate that sat untouched in front of him. Picking off a piece and eating it casually.

The girl on the opposite side of the booth giggled, following your lead and humming an appreciative sound at the taste.

"So..?" You turned to Brekker, "What is it exactly that you think my skills are?"

Kaz's eyes flickered from you to Wylan next to you, "Wylan tells me you have a unique talent."

You paused your movements, turning to narrow your eyes at Wylan, "Did he just," You grumbled. You had shown Wylan your summoning when you were both 15. He was your best friend and swore he would never tell another soul, he was the only person you knew who wasn't scared of shadow summoning.

Wylan stumbled over his sentence, "I didn't, uh, tell him everything."

Kaz's face morphed into a scowl.

This time you did laugh, "So you came here on a whim?"

Kaz opened his mouth to speak but was beaten by the woman.

"We need your help to break someone out of Hellgate."

Your face gave away your surprise, you had never been anywhere near Hellgate but you knew the stories, "Hellgate? As in the most secure place in Ketterdam?"

"Wylan seems to think you can help us," Kaz said.

You looked at your childhood friend, thinking over the specifics. You just might be able to help but summoning meant exposing yourself and your abilities. The Fold and The Darkling were gone, but how would people react to another shadow summoner?

"So," the Zemeni spoke, his arm draped over Wylans shoulders, "You in?"

Stepping into the Slat for the first time felt strange. You hadn't been in a warm, dry place for years. Finding it now in the middle of the barrel felt counter intuitive. You weren't expecting it, but once you stepped past the threshold you were hit by a wave of warmth.

You were somewhat jealous, your own room in the boarding house was never this warm. And you lived on the outskirts of the barrel and the financial district.

The bottom of the slat held a bar that had seen better days, to say the least. Kaz led the way to another booth, clearly the group's go-to planning table. Maps of Hellgate and various scribbled notes were perched on the wood.

You slipped into the booth and sat next to Nina, who had talked your ear off the whole walk to the Slat about Matthias the (former) Düskelle and love of her life. You didn't mind, enjoying listening to something more upbeat than the drunken rambles of patrons you were used to. Besides, it was clear she was head over heels and you always tried to help out fellow Grisha.

As Kaz went over what he was planning, you listened intently. He had fleshed out almost every part of the plan, but kept on ending up with one key factor.

"We'll be seen."

You shared a glance with Wylan.

"I can help with that."

Kaz quirked an eyebrow, waiting for you to explain further. You were hesitant, they could fear you and kill you on the spot. Or you might have to kill them.

You looked around the room, by now it was so late into the night that even the bars would be closing. There was no one else in the Slat. The last Dregs had crawled in half an hour ago and were nowhere to be seen. It didn't mean anyone couldn't walk in at any time.

Nina could feel your heartbeat grow more erratic, "No one is around." She said, trying to assure you with her small science.

"The Dregs won't interrupt us while we're in here," Kaz spoke, for a second you thought you saw curiosity in his eyes.

"Just-" You took a shaky breath, you hadn't shown anyone your powers since Wylan. Only using them in hiding to avoid growing weak. For the longest time, your mother scolded you for using your powers, teaching you the dangers of summoning anywhere that wasn't in private.

"Never tell anyone," She would mumble, wrapping you in her arms as you both curled up on the small bed in your room in the servants quarters of the Van Eck Mansion, "Your powers are your gifts, but they are your crimes too, Milaya. If anyone finds out they will punish you."

You broke the rules she set out only once, with Wylan. Were you ready to risk your comfortable life for these people you just met?

"It's hard to explain," You leant back against the booth, twisting your fingers nervously, "It's easier to show."

Kaz gestured impatiently, waiting for you to show them.

"Wylan said your Etherealnik," Jesper said flippantly, "We have a heartrender," He gestured loosely to Nina, "A wonderful durast," He grinned and gestured to himself, "About time we add an Etherealnik.”

You smiled, "Well if you're so sure."

You pressed your palms together, pausing for a second and then pulling them apart. Twisting your hands in opposite directions, your fingers moved independently to call the shadows to you. For a fleeting moment, it was like the world was losing colour, and then darkness was gathering around your hands, amassing between your palms.

You heard Nina gasp but ignored her to focus on your shadows. They reached out in tendrils, spreading up your arms as they tried to block the light from you. You pressed your hands back together, and the shadows expanded quickly and overcame the room, plunging space into pitch black. As soon as the darkness overcame the room, you called it off. Returning the room to its usual light.

Once the room was back to what it was before, you glanced around at the faces of the Crows. Wylan had the same impressed smile he had all those years ago, forever in awe of your powers. Nina was staring wide-eyed at the table, a slightly unreadable look on her face. Jesper's jaw was slack, mouth agape and blinking rapidly.

You were surprised to see Kaz wasn't at all shocked. He had the slightest smirk, not an ounce of fear or hesitation on his features.

"Those skills," He said with the same smirk, "are definitely of use."

Getting into the Hellshow hadn't been an issue. You and Nina had gotten on a boat and calmy taken seats towards the back of the crowd. Nina had to keep her face somewhat hidden, deciding on tailoring herself slightly to avoid Pekka's gaze. She had told you briefly about the last time she was here, trying to deliver the pardon Nikolai Lanstov convinced the Kerch government to write. She had been thrown out on Pekkas orders, pardon ignored. She was forced to leave not knowing how Matthias was.

You felt bad for her, it was hard to be separated from those you loved. Not that you ever had anyone other than your mother, but when she died you would have done anything to bring her back.

"So," You turned to Nina, squished up against her to avoid being too close to the drunken men beside you, "What exactly is the hellshow?"

Nina's brow furrowed in disgust, "The prisoners fight for better living conditions, food, a visit from family. It's barbaric."

She was looking over the crowd, eyes filled with silent fury. You followed her gaze to where a bearded man sat surrounded by burly prisoners. She pointed him out, "Rollins." Her voice held a hatred you hadn't thought possible of her.

You had stopped Kaz the night before, asking him what you were thinking again now, "Why don't we just kill this Pekka Rollins?"

Kaz had given you an annoyed look - although almost all of his looks were annoyed. He gave you no answer, but Jesper had filled you in on how Kaz had something personal against Rollins, something about Rollins running a con that lead to his brother's death. The specifics he didn't know. Kaz was a mystery, even to those that he seemed closest with. He seemed to like it that way. In the week it took for you all to plan the heist, you had learnt very few things about the bastard of the barrel.

Almost immediately you noticed how well he kept his thoughts and emotions hidden. At first, you had jokingly declared you would hate to play cards against him and Jesper confirmed he yet to win against his boss. Then you started to admire him, the calculated look in his eyes and the strength he projected made him the force The Barrel knew him as. Every now and again you could see a crack in his resolve. The way a corner of his mouth would quirk up for a fleeting second when Jesper made a particularly terrible joke. The quick flash of a solemn emotion - regret? pain? - when he was accused of being heartless by Nina or Per Haskell.

The other thing you noticed was entirely by mistake. It was obvious how Kaz was never without his gloves, it was the first thing you noticed about him. You didn't need to know why, everyone had their cruxes. You kept your own hidden, you assumed he did too. Then you noticed how he kept himself away from others. He never stood too close or flinched away from others' touch. You noticed it quickly and adjusted, trying to respect his boundaries. To you, it was the least you could do after what he had done for you.

You didn't think the boy had noticed, but he had. Kaz had been interested in your mysterious nature too. You kept hidden well, he hadn't expected you to shadow summon even though Wylan had warned him you were uniquely talented. He had to make assumptions about you, you looked quiet and well-mannered. But he had been surprised to learn you were anything but. You spoke your mind with little regard for manners or etiquette. Kaz grew to admire it. Not many people argued with Dirtyhands, or offered different plans from his own, but you were constantly challenging his ideas and in many ways, making them better.

Kaz couldn't, however, find your crux. It infuriated him, he found himself watching you and trying to learn more. That infuriated him more.

He could see you seated in the bleachers now, but you couldn't see him. He had slipped into the arena unnoticed by Pekkas men, hiding away from their gazes.

The plan was set in motion when Wylan and Jesper made their first move. You and Nina would then find Matthias' cell and Kaz would lead Jesper and Wylan to you. The plan was to break him out of the cells and smuggle him hidden in your darkness. Nina had told you how Matthias had been unlearning Druskelle's ideas, but he still might be hostile towards you. It made you nervous, using your power in public for the first time with the risk of Matthias messing you up. It was a considerable risk. Nina had tried to reassure you she would prevent him from interfering.

There was a far-off rumbling, then a muffled boom. You and Nina pretended to be startled like the other patrons, adding to the panic as fog started to fill the arena. As the crowd panicked and headed for the exits, you subtly summoned your shadows to extinguish the lamps around the room. The darkness drew more panic. You and Nina used it to slip past the crowds and into the hallway leading to the cells.

You almost stabbed Jesper as he came barreling around the corner in his guard's uniform. He reeled back, hands over his chest in surprise as the sudden blade.

"Saints," You swore, pocketing the knife and reaching to steady the boy, "I thought you would be slower."

“Change in plans,” Kaz said with no further explanation, "Wylan's bombs will distract the guards for a time. We need to find the frejdan quickly."

You nodded, resuming your position and following Nina as she searched for Matthias' heart. Occasionally you would clasp your hand around her wrist - a gesture not missed by Kaz. Nina had figured out quickly you were an amplifier, allowing you to help her search more efficiently. She hadn't told anyone else, because she knew what it meant. A shadow summoner who was also an amplifier? It was undisguisable the relation there.

Your group halted at a large bolted door, Nina mumbled out how she was sure Matthias was in a room beyond.

"What about guards?" Wylan spoke quietly, half hidden by Jesper, who had his pistol in hand. Wylan was in a guard's uniform too, but it looked much bigger on him, giving him an almost adolescent look.

Nina paused, "Three."

You turned to Kaz, watching him as ideas turned around in his mind.

"Wait-" Nina spoke again, crossing her hands together, "There's more than just guards."

"How do you mean?' You pressed.

"There are men in the main space," She explained, "Prisoners perhaps?"

"Rollins." Kaz hissed. None of you could know for sure, but it seemed likely. This changed everything, you had all been operating under the assumption that the prisoners were locked in their cells during security breaches. At least, that had been what Kaz's inside source had told.

"Jesper and I should go in," You said, offering a plan before Kaz could, "I can hide us, Jesper can open the door and-"

"No," Kaz interrupted. You were taken aback, he didn't even let you finish.

"Matthias doesn't know you," Nina said desperately, her voice slightly louder than the whispers in which you had all been conversing. "He won't go with you."

You shook your head in frustration, "I can't hide all of us. Even if I could, we don't have a plan.”

"Everyone stop talking," Kaz snapped, his brows pulled together in concentration.

You bit back a smart remark, it wouldn't do any good now anyway.

"Nina, Jesper," Kaz started, "You take Wylan and create a distraction, explosion or whatever." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a watch, gesturing for Wylan to bring out his own, "When the minute clock is on the 8, something big that ensures we can slip out. Then you go back to Ketterdam, as quickly as possible."

That gave you all 25 minutes but meant Nina wouldn't see Matthias. Nina looked disheartened but waited for Kaz to finish.

"Y/N and I will get Helvar. We'll use the distraction to get out, and meet you back at the Slat."

"How will we get Matthias out of a locked cell?" You hissed.

Kaz fished something out of his pocket, opening his palm to show you the small silver lock pick.

"Of course," You sighed dramatically, "I should have known you know how to pick locks."

Kaz gave you an amused smile and a look that read, Do you even know me?

Nina reached up to her neck, unclasping a necklace she always wore, "Give this to Matthias, so he knows you are with me."

You nodded, tucking the necklace in the pocket of your skirt to keep it safe.

Kaz sent the three away but not before Jesper worked his Durast science and unlocked the door.

You turned to Kaz, "I can hide us, block the light, but I can't disguise sound."

Kaz followed your gaze to his cane, nodding once in understanding.

You took a deep breath, it was now or never. Kaz pulled the door open as quietly as possible, watching your face contort in effort as you called shadows to you to surround the both of you.

You turned to Kaz before stepping into the room, "You'll have to stay close."

You didn't wait for his response, just took a dubious step into the room and pressed against the wall. Nina had said Matthias was in the 5th door on the left, but once you had entered you realized just how open the space was.

The fifth door was in the middle of the circular space, the only cover would be from Pillars of stone that held the roof up. You spared a glance at Kaz, who was standing mere centimetres away from you on your back, his cane held firmly in his grasp off the ground. Standing so close to him felt different, you hadn't expected him to be so cold. It was like he was drawing your heat away from you, which you welcomed. You were always too warm, something about the effort of summoning made you overheat easily. Your mother used to say your skin always felt feverish. Now for the first time, you felt balanced.

Kaz felt it too. How heat rolled off of you in waves. Being so close to you warmed him, which seemed impossible. He hadn't felt warmth since he was a boy, since before the Queen Lady’s Plague. You sensed his unease, looking at him and offering the smallest of apologies, your voice so quiet he hardly heard it.

He nodded for you to continue, trying not to get caught up in the feeling of being close to you. You both counted the doors as you inched along, stopping as you reached the fifth door. Kaz slowly bent down, and you spotted a flash of pain as he moved his leg. He faced the lock and started working while you stood beside him watching the courtyard.

Nina was right, there were more than three men in the room. At least eight were seated around a makeshift table, sitting on the table itself was one Pekka Rollins. You could hear the vulgar conversation he was keeping, it made you think about how much Kaz hated him. You startled when there was a soft clang, the noise echoing off the cobble walls. You turned to look at Kaz, who was silently cursing himself and staring at the lockpick resting on the floor.

"What was that?" A rough voice groused.

Rollins climbed up from his seat, he took a few slow steps towards where you were hidden in the shadows. The lanterns on the walls weren't lit, you had made sure to block the one that was nearby on a pillar to avoid any obvious shadows. Rollins was staring into the darkness like he could see you, it made you so nervous you could feel your heart beating out of your chest.

Rollins snatched a lantern from the table, holding it up and taking a few more slow steps. You tried to step back slightly but only nudged Kaz. If he noticed, he didn't react, still working on the lock. As Pekka drew closer, the lock clicked open, allowing Kaz to push the door open. He blindly reached out, grabbing your wrist, pulling you into the cell, and shutting the door behind you as quietly as possible. Almost as quickly as he had held your wrist, he let go, stepping away as you held your palms facing up to draw the shadows back into the room to avoid Rollin's suspicions.

Thankfully, it was only Matthias in the cell. He had stirred from sleep at the sounds of footsteps, when he opened his eyes you stumbled around Kaz to shove your hands over Matthias' mouth to stop any words from coming out. The Frejdan made a disgruntled noise, sleep leaving his eyes and his hands locking onto your wrists with a deathly tight grip.

"You alive in there, Helvar?" Rollin's accent gave way to his chuckle, he kicked the door, causing it to rattle and groan.

You and Kaz stared at Matthias, urging him to keep his mouth shut. With any luck, Pekka would leave and chalk it up to the sleepy groans of a prisoner. You should have known luck was not on your side.

"Helvar," Rollins barked, this time bringing his fist against the door.

You pulled your hands away from the druskelle. Mouthing "Please" to him.

"Leave me be," The Frejdan spoke hoarsely.

Rollins let out an ugly chuckle from the other side of the door but after another few tense moments, you heard footsteps moving away.

You stepped back, accidentally bumping into Kaz in the cramped space. Matthias moved from the cot, fixing you and Kaz with a dirty glare that made you even more nervous.

"Who are you?"

"We're friends of Nina," You tried to explain, beating Kaz to speak because you knew he would only escalate the situation.

Matthias' face turned sourer, within a blink of an eye he was moving. You had no time to react as he grabbed you and pushed you against the wall, his forearm pressing against your throat. He put enough pressure to limit your air, like he was trying to warn you, not to hurt you. You quickly touched your hands together and reached out to summon. Matthias grabbed your wrist and slammed it against the wall. It made a sick crack, pain blooming through your wrist and hand. You let out a string of curses, biting your tongue to avoid being too loud.

Kaz used the crow end of his cane to press against Matthias' neck, "I suggest you let go, Helvar."

Matthias let out a soft growl as he spoke, "Who are you?"

His accent was so pronounced, every word he spoke in Kerch was thick with the Frejdan accent he would never be rid of.

"Friends of Nina," You insisted, "In my left pocket, Nina gave me her necklace."

Matthias loosed his grip slightly, looking from your face to your skirt's pockets. He let go of your wrist, but you daren't move it. He slowly fished out the necklace, holding it up to study the delicate chain. He slowly moved his forearm off of you, stepping back and staring at you with wide eyes.

As soon as he was the step back, you pulled your wrist to your chest. Kaz's eyes flickered from you to the giant Frejdan in the middle of you.

"Can you..?"

You shook your head, "Maybe," you pulled your wrist away from your chest and flexed your fingers. Pain shot up your arm, causing your face to twist in a grimace.

"You are..." Matthias paused, "...Grisha."

You nodded, "I was our ticket out of here."

Kaz scowled at the Frejdan, something about his look made you think he might leave the Drüskelle here after all.

"I'll make it work," You said, pushing the pain to the back of your mind to continue with the job.

Kaz looked like he wanted to say something, but didn't. He tried to move over as much as he could letting you shuffle past and stand in front of the door.

You turned to look at the druskelle, "Don't make any noises, they will hear it."

Matthias' brows pinched together, he looked to Kaz for an explanation but the boy just ordered him to stay close.

You took a deep breath, forcing your broken hand to open so that you could summon. Moving your fingers was hard, they were reluctant to dance like usual when you summoned. You pressed past it, drawing the shadows to conceal your group, opening the door slowly and sneaking out. Kaz and Matthias stayed close behind you, following you all around the room back to the exit. As you solely opened the door, a far-off bell started to sound.

"Jesper," Kaz said quietly.

You nodded, quietly slipping into the corridor and ushering Kaz and Matthias in too. You dropped the shadows once the door closed, ignoring the incredulous stare Matthias was giving you. Kaz led the way back through the corridors and winding hallways, leaning heavily on his cane as he walked. You knew that the time he had spent off it must have caused him pain, you felt bad that the plan had gone so terribly wrong.

Kaz seemed to always have a backup plan because he led you and Matthias out of Helgate like a man on a mission. You stumbled along behind him, keeping your wrist held to your chest. Kaz led you and Matthias down a stairway, the door at the end lead into the night air. You were surprised to find a small balcony, a rotten wooden platform perched on the rocks. The saltwater had eroded away the wood on the front, making it creak and flake dangerously under your feet. Kaz made quick work of slipping down the platform and onto the rocks, he pressed his palm against the wall to steady himself. He turned back to you and Matthias waiting impatiently for you both to follow him. Matthias went first, stepping down easily, making the drop look like a small step. You tried to step down with some sense of balance, but your foot found a slippery rock and you tripped forward. You hit into Kaz, who steadied you with a hand to your bad arm. You hissed and recoiled, watching Kaz's face change.

"Sorry," You whispered, noticing how he swallowed thickly, panic barely contained in his eyes.

Kaz took a moment, looking at your genuine expression. He knew that you knew, but you made no move to ask about it his weakness. For that, he was grateful.

Kaz pushed out of his haunted thoughts, turning and leading the way across the rocks and around the outside of Hellgate. You had been walking for ten minutes when the rocks started to mix with chunks of rubble. Walking on the rocks with the rubble moving underneath your feet became harder. You all slowed down and clung to the wall for the extra support it gave.

"Saints," You murmured when you came across the gaping hole in the wall made by Wylans explosives.

"Wylan knows what he's doing," Kaz quipped, slight amusement in his tone.

It took your small group at least two hours to get back to the Slat. The majority of that time was spent in a tiny row boat getting sloshed by freezing water. You were sat next to Kaz while Matthias rowed, you had offered your help but he had huffed in Frejdan something that seemed like 'I can do it myself'.

By the time you all had entered the Slat, there had been no one on the streets and you were freezing. Matthias seemed to be dealing with the cold best, no doubt his childhood in the icy Frejda had trained him well. You and Kaz were shivering as you stumbled along, all of you were damp from your trip on the sea. Your skirts were soaked, making them heavier and heavier as you walked.

Stepping into the Slat would usually warm you up, but this time it didn't. You could see Wylan and Jesper sitting at the bar, watching Nina pace up and down. They all snapped to look at you when the door slammed shut behind you. Nina let out a tiny squeal, running and throwing herself into Matthias' arms. You and Kaz looked on briefly before stumbling further into the room.

"Saints," Jesper looked both of you up and down, "We thought maybe you'd died."

You let out a chuckle, "You can't kill weeds."

Kaz looked at you surprised and you offered him a smile.

"What happened?" Wylan asked, watching Nina and Matthias approach arm in arm.

Kaz fixed Matthias with a glare, "Your oaf broke Y/N's wrist."

Nina looked from Matthias to you, then stepped forward to assess your wrist. You offered her your hand without complaint, letting her heal it the little she could.

"It was a mistake," You defended Matthias, mostly from Kaz's dark stare.

Later that night, which had turned more to early morning, you sought out Kaz in his room. You had changed into dry clothes, your wrist wrapped to keep it steady until morning when you would find a healer. You walked up to Kaz's door, then hesitated. What if he was asleep?

You knocked anyway, gently so as to not startle him.

"Yes?"

You pushed the door open, stepping into the room slightly. Kaz didn't even turn from his perch at his desk to look at you.

"I- uh," Your voice came out much quieter than you were expecting, almost sounding broken.

Kaz stopped scribbling on the paper on front of him.

"I just wanted to ask," You spoke clearer this time, "If you were okay?"

Kaz turned to look at you this time, surprised. After a few days with the bastard of the barrel, you had gotten better at reading his subtle emotions. Even the ones he tried to hide deep in his eyes. Like the anxiety when you touched him, or again on the boat.

Kaz didn't answer, he didn't have to.

"You don't have to answer," You said after a moment of silence passed, "Everyone has their..." You searched for the right word.

"Weaknesses," Kaz said.

"Weaknesses." You agreed.

You took a small step forward, testing the waters. Kaz didn't tell you to back off or look fearful.

"We all have them," You continued.

Kaz nodded once, "And you?"

You smiled, "Dirtyhands doesn't know?"

Kaz looked away and sighed in exasperation.

You stepped closer, approaching the desk, "It's this."

You summoned your shadows, forming them into a small tangled shape in your palm. The shadows reached up your arm, trying to tangle their way around you. You dismissed them, staring at the empty space above your palm.

Kaz thought about how wrong you were.

"If you ever need to share," You took a step back, "I'll be here."

You left him at his desk, exiting the room and closing the door behind you. Maybe it would take some time, but you were willing to wait if it meant becoming someone Kaz Brekker could rely on.

---