Joshua Seventeen - Tumblr Posts

I don’t post on here like at all but I needed to say this. Is it just me or does Joshua from seventeen look extremely similar to Swann Arlaud?

な! - svt & nct

REQUESTED <3

A day for you

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𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:

"wave to earth - bad"

01:22 ━━━━●───── 04:16

ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻ ♡

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summary: a cute and short date w joshua !

notes: hey y’all I really wanted to write something else but I didn’t want to start a whole other project so I decided to write this short ff! Hope u enjoy!!

genre: seventeen ff, seventeen fluff, Joshua as your boyfriend, some cursing, kissing, cuddling, touchy Joshua, some mentions of other seventeen members, cute nicknames (Babe, baby, my love, etc)

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You were in the kitchen of you shared apartment, while your boyfriend was in the living room scrolling through his phone. As you were searching the kitchen for some sort of snack, Joshua's sweet voice calls out to you " baby do you wanna go on a date?" You turn around to look at Joshua, who was staring right back at you with his doe-like eyes. "Like right now?" You clarify "Yeah right now" Joshua gets up from the couch and makes his way to you "Anything you wanna do?" His hands naturally find there way to the small of your back, pulling you in just a bit. "there's that new restaurant down the street?" you suggested and your boyfriends replies with a simple hum "Whatever you want" A small smile forms onto Joshua's lips "Ok be ready in 30 minutes then" With that Joshua disappears into his room and you do the same.

You come back out of your room wearing a pair of washed flared jeans with a off-shoulder sweats complimented with some gold jewelry. When you walk into the living room you see Joshua sitting down on the couch on his phone. He was wearing a black sweatshirt with white writing on it paired with a jeans and a black bucket hat. Joshua noticed you presence and he immediately stood up and approached you "You look pretty" He smiles smugly, gently taking your hand and putting it into his. "You look pretty too" You let go of his hand and walk over towards the door to put your shoes on "I look pretty?" Joshua lets out a chuckle at your compliment. "yeah, pretty" You looked up at your boyfriend, who had a silly smile playing on his face "Thank you baby" Joshua slides his hand around your shoulder before walking out of your apartment.

You and Joshua walk down the street towards the restaurant you had mentioned earlier "Hey Josh?" You began, you voice a little hesitant. Joshua turned to face you, his gaze on you "hm?" "Why'd you want to go on a date so suddenly?" You asked. Joshua's lips curled into a tender smile. "Because I missed you." You look up at Joshua, the confusion very evident in your face "We live together though?" Joshua chuckles softly, his eyes still on you "I know that, but I just miss the romance of our past dates, you know?" You heart swells up a bit at the words your boyfriend has just spoke.

The two of you had arrived at the restaurant and you had to admit, the place definitely looked fancy. The place was decorated with beautiful vintage chandlers and vines and flowers covered the walls. A waiter greeted the two of you before seating you in one of the corner booths and handing you a menu. "How are things with you friends?" You ask once the waiter leaves. From what you knew it had been quite awhile since Joshua had went out with any of his friends, so naturally you were curious on how things were going "They're fine, Vernon texted me earlier asking if I wanted to hang out" Joshua answers casually "Why didn't you go?" "Because I felt like going out with you". You can't stop a smile from appearing onto your face at your boyfriends words "You should've gone though" you say but Joshua shakes his head "Its fine, I can go out with him another time" He gives you a sweet smile before the waiter arrives and asks for you orders.

You both finish you dinner and begin your walk home when a few minutes into your way back home Joshua stops in his tracks "What?" You stop and turn to face him. You boyfriend's face lights up a bit before turning to face you "Wait here baby, ok?" Before you can responds Joshua runs of into a farmers market, leaving you stunned. He comes back about 5 minutes later with a Boquete of pink and red flowers in his hand "Josh.." Joshua hands you the Beautiful Boquete he had bought for you "For you, my love" you take the Boquete and Joshua is quick to take your free hand and place it into his, intertwining your fingers together. "Thank you Shua, really" You smile up towards your boyfriend you smiles back warmly "Of course baby, Love you always" "I love you too."

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SEVENTEEN

I know like 4 members, with confidence, so what's a few more? 🤷‍♀️

Who's this?!

Their favorite place to kiss you

Scoups Your hands. More specifically your knuckles whenever he remembers he's holding your hand in his. Placing a peck upon each knuckle while trying to catch your eyes, this always ends with an actual kiss though. Or in the car, I always imagine that he's holding your hand while driving stick shift, intertwined at all times unless you want him to make a scene about you not loving him. At every stoplight, he's pressing his lips against the back of your hand like it's an instinct. Ugh, he would drive me crazy.

Jeonghan He's a classic type of man opting for a quick smooch to your cheek in haste and then looking away like nothing happened. Ever the trickster even in love. Whenever you catch him in the act though he's a giggling mess. You might not notice it but he seems particularly fond of acts of affection when you're smiling. What can he say? When you smile so brightly and your cheeks puff out it's like a drug to him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joshua Your nose. Another one who tries to catch you off guard but unlike Jeonghan he always fails because he's trying to catch your nose rather than any other part of you. The slight scrunch gets him weak in the knees from cuteness so of course it's his favorite. It's also partially because of how you look as he does this, your eyes crossing as he's coming towards you. "You look dumb but in a cute way", he tries to explain not understanding how you can't see what he sees.

Jun He's a tad awkward in his tastes I imagine, so I feel like the outer corner of your eye is his cup of tea. He doesn't really have an explanation himself but maybe it's because everytime he kisses you there you immediately focus your attention on him. Whether that's in confusion or shock he doesn't care as long as you're looking at him. I feel like he's a firm believer that the eyes are the windows to the soul so being able to hold your gaze is like looking at heaven, that is to say, he thinks you are heaven.

Hoshi This dude is pretty straightforward with affection so your lips are always gonna do it for him. He's always looking for a moment to trap you in a kiss no matter the situation. You could be talking about the most important thing in the world and this man is looking for an opening before bombarding you with his lips and then nonchalantly going back into the conversation. He doesn't see any issue with it, in fact, he thinks it's the most proper way to show you his love.

Wonwoo Forehead all day! He doesn't show affection all that often but when he does it's discreetly and quickly leaving chaste kisses on your forehead before bed, when you're focusing on work, or pretty much whenever you aren't paying attention. You learn after a bit that acknowledging his affection makes him more shy about it so you've gotten in the habit of giving little to no reaction. (The hardest thing in the world because he's the cutest tbh)

Woozi He's going for the corner of your lips. He isn't forward enough to give you a full kiss all the time nor does he really feel the need for that most of the time. He isn't one to show affection much either but it doesn't mean he shies away from it, it's just not something he thinks about doing often since he knows that you know that he loves you completely and fully. It may seem half-hearted to some but to him, a kiss on the corner of your lips means "I'm here and I love you".

Minghao Hao prefers hugs to kisses in my opinion. But when he does kiss you it is often on your shoulders. Whenever he's got you entangled in his arms he's leaving tender kisses along your shoulders, TRUST. In line and he's back hugging you? Kisses. A hug once he's gotten back from tour? Kisses. Cuddled up in bed and completely tangled in each other? Kisses. It's the only place he's willing to leave multiple kisses without feeling like it's too much PDA.

DK This man. I don't know how to tell you this. Literally everywhere and anywhere. As long as it's you he's willing to kiss even the soles of your feet (not in a weird way he swears). I could go on and on about the way he would kiss your eyelids, your stomach, the inside of your wrist, all in the name of loving you completely and wholly with his entire being. Not afraid of affection in the slightest, he's always clinging to you. Swears up and down that with every kiss he falls more in love.

Mingyu Tippy top of your head. Listen listen listen...as much as I would love to subvert expectations with Mingyu I simply cannot imagine a more perfect scene than this man kissing your head. He does it without even realizing honestly. Feels the most natural to leave a gentle kiss there. Why can I so clearly imagine him sniffing your hair too? Not in a weird way but in the way that people like to smell babies' heads...okay maybe that's weird BUT it's very endearing coming from him. He just likes your scent so much. (Also, if you're short enough, he'll probably rest his head on top of yours)

Seungkwan Dudes a romantic and he's going for the jawline. It catches you off guard and it's sensual enough to mean something but not sensual enough to mean something if you know what I'm saying. He doesn't shy away from affection either so I feel like he's happy kissing you wherever but along your jawline always seems to get a small reaction out of you so it's his favorite for that reason. The blush that warms your cheeks warms his heart.

Vernon Your lap/ thighs. I was originally gonna put this down for Jeonghan since he's a napper but I feel like when Vernon gets comfortable with you he's the type to lay in your lap often. He doesn't even think about the kiss as anything other than innocent and loving. You're just right there and he feels an urge to kiss you so he does. Plus, when he does this you often pat or stroke his hair as recognition and he completely melts into your touch.

Dino He's a back hugger and for that reason, I think he would fall into the habit of leaving kisses on the back of your neck. I wouldn't say it's his favorite since this dude is head over heels for your lips as well but it's where he's leaving the most kisses for sure. Holding you by the waist and swaying you gently side to side, head laying on one of your shoulders, he leaves feathery kisses that you almost can't feel if it weren't for the fact that he smiles and chuckles as he does so.

NOT PROOFREAD

{If you're interested in being on the Taglist for my Seventeen works please let me know!! And my requests are open!}

{A/N: I'm going crazy I think. I don't know where this came from. It's 2am as I finish writing this and reading it over once. My eyes are red and all I can think about is these boys. I've been writing and thinking of prompts like an insane person. Ngl though I feel like all of them are good kissers.}

Joshua ATE lalali by vocal unit

Soup for the baby

sick joshua x genuinely concerned reader x fluff / slight angst?

"i told you not to go ice skating with soonyoung, he's crazy!" you say in genuine concern looking at a joshua infront of you with a cast on his arm and a pair of crutches that laid on the side.

"sorry dear" he laughed nervously trying to move his hand to caress your cheek before wincing in pain.

"shua stop moving your hand, doctors instruction." you glared at him, you had been staying in his room for a whole day already ever since you found him in the ice rink on his ass with soonyoung laughing from the side.

"shit, your so hot like that." joshua muttered under his breath which you only rolled your eyes to.

"mom made you soup" you said addressing joshua's mom as yours before pulling a packaged container from behind you.

"chicken noodle?" he asked softly his head peering from behind the bed

"mhm, im feeding it to you though since someone wanted to break their hand" you roll your eyes as joshua let out a soft chuckle.

you instructed joshua to open his mouth while you blew on the soup making sure it was not hot before feeding it to him.

After sipping on the soup softly joshua let out a satisfied sound licking his lips as he urged you softly to feed him again.

"big baby" you mutter softly looking at the cute sight of joshua which he only responded with a quiet but thankful smile.

»»»

a/n : HII IM BACK W THE OTP PROMPT GENERATOR (i was running out of ideas) creds to @cienlvrs for the idea!! you can find the generator here!! this is also very short TT STREAM SEVENTEENTH HEAVEN AS WELL GUYS!!

the prompt:

!!! i decided to change it a from drawing hearts on the cast to warm soup! this fic is also in celebration to seventeenth heaven album!!!

mission tth (take the hint)

synopis: in which joshua tries to give you subtle hints about his love but you just seem to never take it pairings: bestfriend reader x bestfriend joshua tags: pure fluff (not proof read!)

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"y/n, wanna go to the movies?" Joshua asked you while you were sat next to him, spinning your pencil absent mindlessly.

"hmm? sure? when?" You asked curiously

"today. like after school?" He suggested which you replied to by nodding. Joshua thought going to the movies was somewhat romantic since he would ask you out but you seemed to completely dismiss that idea. You simply thought you were going there as friends to laugh at the movie and simply finish.

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Time soon did its thing and school had ended. You quickly met up with joshua outside, ready to walk to the movie theatre together.

The weather was chilly as you both walked down the street to your local cinema theatre. While walking you accidentally tripped on a pile of leaves that had built up on the pavement. You landed straight in the middle of the pile of leaves as joshua giggled at you. That bastard you thought to yourself.

Soon enough you made it to the movie theatre, joshua limping in as you kicked his leg for not helping you. You quickly walked in as you both purchased tickets to the new horror movie. Grabbing your caramel popcorn, you both walked into your assigned space and sat beside each other, placing your Sprite in the cupholder and resting the popcorn on your lap.

A good 45 minutes into the movie, joshua lifted the armrest between you guys since it was easier to share the popcorn that way. As you stuck your fingers in the box hoping to find a crispy caramel popcorn your finger accidentally grazed joshuas. You thought it was a coincidence, a good ol' coincidence. While joshua on the other hand was blushing like crazy.

An hour 30 minutes into the movie you were leaning slightly to joshua's side, since the suspense was building up and you were scared. There was suddenly a jumpscare and you shrieked grabbing joshua's arm unconsciously meanwhile joshua was blushing even harder. He secretly thanked the jumpscare.

Toward the second jumpscare you were already leaning on his shoulder nervous as the killer neared closer, your breathing heavied.

"shh it'll be okay." Joshua whispered in your ear, letting you know that he was there and you felt strangely comforted.

The movie soon ended and by the end you were all over joshua your hands somehow ended up being interlocked as you let go grabbing your sprite from the cupholder getting up from your seat as the end credits started rolling. Joshua followed looking like a blushing mess while you were just standing there indifferent.

Joshua wondered if you were clueless or just ignoring everything because how could you not see the clear signs?? that boy was infatuated with you. He decided to just say it to your face, if you weren't taking the hint now you definitely had to take it.

"y/n, i i have to tell you something." He said clearing his throat as a blush crept up his face.

"hm?"

"I i like you." He confessed blushing heavily as your mouth widened in shock.

"w-what??" You said clearly flustered, you thought that you and joshua had just been really close friends. Close friends being stealing each others clothes, going on each others beds, going on cafe dates hangouts.

"well uhm, I I like you too." You said smiling with an awkward thumbs up.

"Wanna be a couple?"

"Sure."

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I MADE Y/N SO CLUELESS AND AKWARD LOL 😭😭😭

This is very normal for Joshua, okay?

AMORTENTIA ; joshua

view the whole series here!

DESCRIPTION ᝰ The first time they met was when she reached for a chocolate frog which he helped her reach and after that, they’ve been seeing each other everywhere. A story of how a Slytherin became undyingly soft for a Hufflepuff

WARNINGS ᝰ unrequited love, slytherin!reader x hufflepuff!joshua, one beat up scene, y/n is a sexual assault survivor!!!!, themes and trauma of sexual assault

PAIRING ᝰ hong joshua x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ᝰ 16.7k words

BEFORE YOU READ:

this ends in a cliffhanger but i'm unsure of what to do after it. so i wanted you guys to decide whether you want me to make a part 2 immediately or just continue the series and upload jun's part next.

the poll will be at the end of the story and i'll pin it to my page too! i'll tag you in 24 hrs and tell you guys what i'll do.

anyways, enjoy!!!

A Quaffle passed your sight as you cascaded from the great height. Home is when you’re meters off the ground, ass on a broomstick and pride worn with the Slytherin Quidditch uniform. 

Eric and Sunwoo were hot by your side, but their skill couldn’t compare with yours. You sent Sunwoo a minute smile at the furrow of his eyebrows, all his concentration on the Quaffle. Even the goggles he wore didn’t protect the falter as he caught your gaze, wondering why you were smiling at him despite your cold shoulder most of the time. 

Only it couldn’t be helped when you saw the underclassmen trying hard, pride pleasing you that he was working hard to beat you.

You sighed, turning back around and speeding on your broom. Hands steady and easily finding the Quaffle again, Eric’s hands nearly at it. It was moments before he would meet with utter distress as you swept through the air. A whistle let you know it was game over.

“Aw, man!” Eric yelled grumpily.

You let the Quaffle drop from your fingertips, not bothering to watch it touch the ground. Yuna, one of your managers, had quite the liking for wanting to catch the falling balls. You glide to the ground without another look, the others in your team following suit. You kicked your legs off your broom, the stick tumbling to the ground.

“That was one-hundred-fifty to eighty, I believe.” your main manager, Lia announced, her hands with a clipboard and a pencil, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Disappointment aroused the younger members of the team.

“It’s not fair, you guys always win!” Sunwoo argued.

You looked at him, his face contorted into a pout and a glare.

He really wanted to win...you liked that competitiveness. Then only, in a real game, he would play his best. He was a Chaser after all.

“Hey, we gave you guys Ryujin this time.” Jun, the vice-captain of the team, answered.

“Yeah. We gave you a chance to find the Snitch but you guys didn’t. Who’s problem is that?” you asked them. The younger members couldn’t say anything.

“You can’t deny. Jun and Y/N alone are a powerful duo for this team. If you guys lose either of them, it would be the end for the team.” Yuna bantered, holding out the crate of water bottles. Hands attacked it mercilessly, everyone going for their individual water bottle.

You didn’t say anything about what she just said, but you did accept it silently. Jun was an excellent Beater and you were Chaser, Captain and realistically, the ace of the team. Without one of you, the team would be at stake.

“You hear that, Y/N?” Jun nudged you playfully by the elbow. He loved hearing those types of compliments reeling from others’ mouths. Almost as much as compliments honouring your looks and honestly, you didn’t know what to say to that. It was like you grew up enduring his over-confidence. Though, if you weren’t the leader of this team, you couldn’t even begin to see in your head how the team would’ve turned out. They all would’ve been little servants of Junhui, the Beast Beater.

“Guys, guys!” You all turned your heads to see Wonyoung sprinting down, her hand high in the air. How she looked that beautiful while running, the secret remained with her genes but it would be a lie to state that everyone didn’t stop for a second to cherish in the angel’s running. Wonyoung, the currently benched first-year Beater, stopped at last in front of you all, looking like she was going to spur her words out but couldn’t because of how much she was running.

“Where did you run from?” the Keeper, Kevin, as if it was any much of a good time, asked.

“F-From the back of the—does it even matter?” the tall girl questioned, her eyes squinted as she gave Kevin a querying look. He had the energy for asking questions that surely didn’t matter. Sweat glistened her forehead under the light atmosphere. “They’re gathering to leave to Hogsmeade in ten minutes. If you want to pack up and leave, let’s go!”

The idea of going to Hogsmeade at a time like this sounded surpassing. You had quite some stuff to do before even thinking of doing so. You looked over at Jun for ideas but the third-year Vice-Captain seemed pretty chill about it.

“I say, we go. How about you, Y/N?”

You looked to your team where pleading eyes abode to convince you. For starters, you weren’t a very lenient person to please nor convince so this was the most they were doing without getting on your nerves. You gazed through each individual staring back at you with cutesy eyes and a sweaty face, belatedly feeling the tiniest bad that your efforts as Quidditch Captain were going to dissipate if you weren’t fit to treat your team at least humanly.

So you gave a little smile. “Fine, but here’s the plan...Lia, Yuna, Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric start packing up the stuff. The rest of us will get changed and then we swap in five minutes, so that Wonyoung, Kevin and Eric can go get changed. Then, we run. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

And just like that, you and your group of green dispersed in the foggy fields getting to your designated locations to do your things.

After packing up the equipment and changing, you were running towards the back of the school in a hurry to find yourself in McGonagall’s annoying nearness within no time, or more like, near late time. Fortunately enough, McGonagall was the type to not see differences in houses even if she took the Gryffindor’s pride to her heart. Unlike Snape who was always on your side no matter what. But if she saw you even a second late, you wouldn’t be excused and she would always wave you with: “Should’ve been here five seconds earlier.”

Had she been a dark witch, you would’ve told your auror parents to get rid of the woman.

Though, luckily enough, you were able to get there quick enough to find her just taking out her clipboard. She gave you and your Quidditch team a stern look in between.

“May I suggest that you make sure that your extra-curricular don’t clash with the times we’re not at school because it would be unfortunate for you to miss out on this. It’s a good way to relax for you students,” she said. And the group of students gathered around her agreed simultaneously.

You didn’t understand if it was a tactic to hinder your team from training more or actual advice, but you willingly wanted to listen to that piece of advice anyways. Maybe you should push Quidditch a few hours earlier on Saturdays so that you can go to Hogsmeade.

“We will be leaving now and no being bad, especially you, Weasley twins!” The woman turned around with a chuckle from Fred and George Weasley, walking down the icy path. Your team took in the snow environment as you cascaded down the group of students to bake in each other’s proximity and relish in your time together.

If you were being true to yourself and for once, not relentless nor greedy, you and your team had a stabler connection with each other than the school's other teams. Which not only made you feel superior but gratified. Because the team you had strived strong together and even the managers and the benched member felt like family, you were simply reliant on each other to the point that you were more than friends. You were all like family.

You could see it in the way you didn’t mind that Tzuyu would link her arm around yours or that Ryujin was hitting Kevin for twerking in the middle of the street and the how you all laughed in harmony together while another man stares. To which, Junhui replied: “Whatchu looking at?”

When the other person floundered away, supposedly an average citizen of Hogsmeade village, another laughter rocked through the members of the Slytherin Quidditch Team. You hit Junhui as he barked with laughter.

“You’re so rude, oh my God!”

Junhui yelling at the old man obtained you to apprehend that you were messing around so much that you didn’t come to the realisation that you were already treading into the village Hogsmeade. It seemed that the younger members were already finding themselves looking around, wowing at the Christmas decorations amidst the village. It shocked you too that they were already getting ready this time in November. However, you were amazed at certain decorations that were better than others. People didn’t fool about Christmas at Hogsmeade. Preferably no one jokes about Christmas in Hogwarts too. It was pretty huge over there as well.

From the delicious banquet to the present-opening morning in which you trade and replenish the air with gratitude.

“Please, please, please, can we go into Honeydukes?!” Lia asked, coming to your free side and taking over your arm.

She pleaded with her eyes. You remembered it like it was just yesterday—how she used to be so scared applying for her position as manager and here she was, for once, acting like you weren’t a ticking time bomb close to exploding. You allowed her to link her arm in, thinking about the thought of Honeydukes. It felt nice to be in the lead sometimes.

“Sure, why not? Where else would we go anyways?” you asked, leading the two girls in the direction of the infamous candy shop. The boys, Tzuyu, Ryujin and Wonyoung were just behind.

It was going to be bustling with students in the miniature candy store. You were precise in your estimate as you entered the store. It was mobbed with Hogwarts students, sprinting around the cramped scope to bestow to their friends what tricks their candies can do and it was no astonishment. Every Hogsmeade visit, the students would infiltrate Honeydukes as it was where the primary consumption of serotonin was—candy.

If you wanted to pay Honeydukes a visit, you had to get there early. That’s what you discovered over the years.

You managed to shake loose Tzuyu and Lia, forming your way within the crowd on your own exploit of confectionery. 

It was surprising someone so cold-hearted would intrigue themselves in something as lovely as the taste of sweets. This could be said again at the end of the story, but this tale will point through a wondrous roller coaster of emotions comparable to tasting Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans in the sense that it would end with relief that the candy was over.

Subsequent to the wandering around the shop, you found yourself in front of your favourite chocolate. A small smile found its way to your lips. You’ve always liked this type of chocolate. Its gold-flared wrappings to the elegantly ripped taste of cocoa brought you to heaven and back for two Galleons and a Sickle.

The chocolate made you wriggle in serotonin, made you feel as if you were bouncing in the clouds of heaven. 

It had been a while since you had it too so you had to get it.

Just as you were about to bandage your fingers around the golden wrapping of the box, another hand reached through and got it. It appeared to be the last chocolate box stacked on the shelf too, so a broad disturbance sank your heart like quicksand that someone else also had a desire to get the final box of your favourite chocolate.

You whipped your head around, meeting a face that felt familiar. Kind eyes faced you. You backed away from the box but the boy stretched it out towards you.

“You can have it,” he told you.

“No,” You looked away, not aspiring to look at him for too long. You noticed the colour of the robes straightaway. 

Yellow stained your sight, disgusting you because you never experienced talking to a Hufflepuff face on. It was always through someone. This was the first time in all your years in Hogwarts a Hufflepuff has actually approached you and that alone said a lot about the type of person you were.

“Have it,” you told the boy. He must’ve been in the same grade as you because he looked more mature than most of the students in the shop.

“I insist. I didn’t really want it anyway, I was just taking it because you were—“

You squinted your eyes, wondering if you were certainly hearing stupidity or it was just you. Suddenly, a hand made contact with you. Whipping your head to the right, you made out the face of your best friend.

“What’s going on here?”

“I was just leaving.” A small smile covered his lips. The obscure Hufflepuff pushed the box into your hands and swung around, shouting out to what resembled to be his friends and followed to merge with his group. You looked at him.

You were staring so hard at the back of his head you didn’t realise that Junhui was blabbering about something—probably nonsense again. You weren’t sure.

“Hey, Jun,” you said, interrupting whatever he was talking about. “Who was that kid?”

“Pfft,” he replied, widening his eyes and getting saliva all over your face.

“Yah, Junhui!” You wiped your face desperately, not noticing the stares you were suddenly getting. The saliva luckily rid your face as you were alarmed to be scarred by his spit forever. Only one of the many perks of being Jun’s best friend, you accepted it as a rare privilege, in fact. You loved being spat in the face—sarcasm involved. “Why would you do that?”

He laughed, slapping your arm. “My bad.”

“Get to the topic.” you glared, delivering a glance at the Hufflepuff. “Who is he?”

“You don’t know him?”

“No, I don’t. Why would I ask that then?”

“Oh my God, Y/N.” Jun fake-sighed. “You don’t pay attention, geez. He’s Joshua Hong, does that ring a bell?”

And it felt like a thousand bricks crashed your head. You remembered who it was. The familiar kind eyes came into view again as you marked the prior vision of him accepting a badge fixed on his chest fled into your mind. You recollected that night as the same night when you got your Prefect badge. He got his Prefect badge and Head Boy badge.

Not only that, he was in your dull History of Magic class and Potions.

Now it made sense that he was giving you the chocolate box.

It was not only because he was a Hufflepuff but additionally for the reason that he was a Prefect and Head Boy, he had to keep his kind status up since he was liable for his entire house.

“So he just gave you that?” Jun asked, eyes wide when you told him what happened.

“Yeah, he did. Weird.”

“Yeah, but no. He’s known for doing that around the school. Maybe you should keep your eyes out in case he does anything else…remotely kind…exclusively to you?” Jun suggested. You didn't discern the tease in his voice.

You exhaled and then linked your arm around him even though the touch of another male's skin made you remotely disgusted. It was just too exhausting to think about. You rather go about your day without having unnecessary things in your head.

“Y-You’re holding me.”

“Right I am, Junhui. Let’s go pay for this.” You waved around the box of chocolates, putting an end to the conversation prior to him questioning anything else.

Junhui didn’t question anything else, knowing this was one of the times his best-est friend was actually revealing skinship. Instead, he walked you towards the counter, passing by Joshua’s group of friends. Your eyes managed to wander into the group unwillingly, filled with students from other houses with the exclusion of green robes.

To find that he was already looking at you. 

Was there a possibility that he did something to the chocolate—

No, he doesn’t seem the type.

He smiled.

I’ll never know.

You glared his way and rotated your head back, presenting a grin to the sweet old woman who worked at Honeydukes Sweet Shop, ready to buy your candy.

“Don’t forget, you owe us butterbeer, Captain~” Eric sang into your ear.

―

The dead have too much to say.

That’s what you concluded by the next History of Magic class. Because the teacher you had was an annoyance to the society of wizards and witches. Like, go rest or something? You rather catch Peeves the Poltergeist around the school than deal with Professor Binn’s shenanigans.

You flipped through the pages of your workbook, not really focusing on the class. No one was, no one ever did. In fact, every one of his classes you had attended made you want to drop your head to the table and sleep. Junhui not being in the class made it more vexatious as there was no one else to talk to. The other Slytherins already had friends and were sitting with them, talking and having a good time, leaving you singly at the back of the classroom.

You searched around the classroom, seeing if there was anything interesting to even lay your eyes on. Nothing.

It was peculiar how Binns’ classroom was set up, it was different to a standard Hogwarts classroom. It was one of those classrooms that had rows and rows in an ascending manner in the shape of a semi-circle, so it was easy to fool around and not have the ghost catch you when you were off task. 

As you were busy scanning around the classroom, your sight landed perfectly on something you hoped you never saw again.

Alas, there it was. The same kind eyes you were trying to avoid since the commencement of the class.

How Joshua Hong had been looking at you, you didn’t know but what you did know was that you didn’t like it one bit. 

You looked back at the teacher, aspiring to find more enthusiasm in the lesson than the Hufflepuff but it was painful as the teacher tended to slur his words into a hybrid of saliva. And then you were inquisitive about Joshua again so in a matter of seconds, you were glancing across the classroom to see if his eyes were still on you.

They weren’t—they were back on the teacher, thank God. A breath of relief slipped through your lips, only to be caught by you again. Suddenly, he looked at you. Your stomach drove itself in nervously, determining the situation awkward because you were never the type to be accused of making friends with Hufflepuffs. Nowhere near that behaviour.

You didn’t have time to shift your eyes too because he caught you into a smile.

It annoyed you—his face, the way his eyes would crinkle when he smiled at you. He appeared so punchable with that smile like he had some authority over you that you were hesitant of. That was the last thing you would let a Hufflepuff have of you, it'd be like someone striping your dignity off of you.

And because of that, it made you smile back, sarcastically.

“So, when did the witch trials happen, L/N?” Your smile was revoked. You whipped your head around so fast as did everyone to look at you to answer the question. Binns was looking at you with the same straight face.

Since you were just so out of focus, the first thing that slipped out of your mouth was a: “Your mum.”

Ugh, Jun! You need to stop saying that around me. 

Your face heated up. You felt yourself drown in your own misery almost instantly that you looked down at your textbook for some sort of virtuous support. Inanimate objects don’t give that, do they?

It was worse in a second. Because before you knew it, inhumane wails sought the class. You’ve never heard such blues leave a human before and it concluded that it wasn’t a human. You felt your disgrace pass more profound with the race of your heart as you looked at Professor Binns.

“M-My mother died in a terrible Muggle accident! How could you bring that up, L/N? I am so offended!” This was the first time that you were seeing Binns so expressive but that was not the point―at all. You had a problem that you did not want to be dealing with.

Someone save me. Anyone, anyone.

You closed your eyes, not wanting to see any of your peers looking back at you with humour lit in their eyes. Not only did you make yourself a fool to your classmates but no one was stopping the crying ghost either. It was an eventful day and it was only your third period. You felt your breath clog up in your chest and it was held there for several seconds until the bell rang.

A soundly sigh escaped you as you practically rushed to pack up before anyone in the class could move an inch. “Apologies, Professor Binns. Didn’t know your mother died. I hope she, um, rests in peace or whatever.”

Binns was in another round of tears at the completion of your apology and you were hurrying out of the class, acting as if you didn’t hear his crying. The last thing you wanted to do was comfort a teacher. Your reputation was far more influential than a dead man.

So as you cleared your books off of your desk, you mourned in the fact that the Binns’ situation may have scuffed your standing a bit. You were speeding off to your next class not stopping by any familiar faces that would only give you a run for their money—tease you, your roommates would relentlessly taunt you for the fool you made out of yourself.

You ran out of the classroom, practically wanting to fly.

“Y/N!”

You turned back around, realising that you left the sweet Wonyoung behind at the entrance of your classroom. She seemed to be waiting for you.

“Hey.” you greeted your benched Beater.

She grabbed your shoulders authoritatively, pushing you away from your classroom door where you were in the way of others coming out from the History of Magic class you wished to have forgotten. It was typical for the towering Wonyoung to do so, her generosity was regarded as the taste of honey.

“You seem a little feverish,” she said as she furrowed her eyebrows worriedly. Once again, worrying over her dear Captain that benched her for all she was worth.

“I’m fine. What is it? You should be going to your next class.” you told her dismissively.

“Ah, it’s nothing much but Jun told me to tell you that he wasn’t in class because he skipped.”

You nodded, knowing that was the case anyways. “Okay, get to class now.”

You sauntered down the hallway, requiring to go to the dungeons for your Potions class. Wonyoung tailed on casually, her face peeking between your shoulder. There was a suggestive consideration coming from the girl as you walked down the employed halls. As a Prefect, it was an anchored duty for you to be punctual. You couldn't be messing around here with your underclassmen.

“Did anyone tell you how beautiful you look lately?”

The compliment didn’t even slit through the outer part of your softness (was there even any?). But you knew exactly what her intention was. You glanced at your underclassmen, furrowing your eyebrows, though not showing much agitation at the same time.

“Is this your way of running from the benches?” you asked blankly.

The beauty jutted out her bottom lip at you, her eyes becoming more doe than they seemed to be a few seconds ago. She was good at using her charms.

“Please.”

“Sorry, Wonyoung. I would love to have you not be benched but we already have two remarkably strong Beaters. I know it’s hard on you...” you told her in an attempt to comfort someone. You didn’t do this often, she should appreciate it as much as she could.

“You have no idea.” the girl replied and the once sugarcoated words were drawing out with grief you’ve never seen from her. She was the happiest on the team, the hype woman for everyone and you seeing her this vulnerable had to mean that the girl was fading in her sweet ways, one by one, slowly.

“If it helps, I used to be benched too.”

Wonyoung’s eyes widened. You smiled softly at her.

“Seriously? I don’t believe it.”

You looked away from her intriguingly sparkling eyes. It was a big insecurity of yours and as much as some members of the team knew about the past preceding their arrival of the team, you would never speak on it, requiring the situation to stay succumbed in the happenings for your individual mental health.

“Ah, long story. But the captain was bad, Jun and I made a plan and overthrew him. He was a perverted little shi —“

Before your words could come out themselves, something hard bumped into your back. You jumped, turning around to see what it was.

For once, you were so within talking to another human being that wasn’t Junhui that you didn’t know the crash would make you cross. You were trying to talk to your underclassmen heart-to-heart, who would be so ignorant to destroy that dainty time?

Joshua Hong would.

You glared at the boy as he picked up some books that got knocked down.

Fury rested inside you, finding yourself try to maintain stability for the sake of comprehending his excuse. The last time you checked he was assaying to make eyes with you in the class not even ten minutes ago and now this? You were so close to just grabbing him by the throat and shaking him until his head popped off and wheel down the hallway.

“So sorry, Y/N! I wasn’t watching where I was going and I—“

“Save it.” you seethed.

Joshua stared at you, unbelieving of your response, as if. He better start believing it because you weren’t falling for his nice guy scheme. Whatever this was, you wanted it to stop. You didn’t like it.

Just looking at the way a few strands of black scattered across his forehead, messily and his stupid, sorry eyes made you annoyed.

You couldn’t stand him.

Grasping Wonyoung’s wrist, you tugged her towards you. “Let’s go, Wonyoung.”

—

Were you hard on Joshua? In your fine opinion, absolutely not. The guy had it coming for him, why would he even try his chances with you? Nevertheless, like every human, there was this slight conscious asking you if what you did was moral? As in, what if it really was an accident? Your attitude or personality couldn’t fall for such idiocy. Which was why you let the Joshua situation slip between your finger like quicksilver and by the next morning, it was like he didn’t even exist.

You did your usual morning routine from showering and putting on your school robes, answering questions from younger dormmates and breaking up fights, as a Prefect should. You weren’t one to mess with when coming to fights and the students who encountered you felt the same.

You left for The Great Hall beforehand, without Junhui as you didn’t have the same first period together. Times when the two of you weren’t in the same class, Junhui would lay back with other friends and you would too but no one was going to the dining hall as early as you, so you were all along among your travel to The Great Hall.

It wasn’t until you entered The Great Hall, the early morning chirping dwelled inside your eardrums, awakening you. You walked down the pinched gap between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin table after recognising a group of familiar girls near the front of the table to sit with. Students here and there avoided the contact with your shoulder, giving you free way nonchalantly as you walked, so you weren't paying attention to your surrounding as much as you should have been.

And then, it all happened so quick.

CLINK!

A little pot, it must’ve been the size of your palm, spilled gravy all over your uniform. Your eyes widened, the light brown colour denting the white and green on you.

In brief, you couldn’t differentiate the fine line between time actually stopping or if everyone was just scared for your reaction.

You slowly looked up, your mouth agape with offense. You found big round eyes looking back at you, widened like you. Like they made the biggest mistake ever. You examined the face, finding familiarity from the glasses to the neat Ravenclaw uniform. Sixth year, Xu Minghao, Prefect and an absolute genius one. You’ve heard about his marvellous expertise in academic work, yet didn’t care for who he was until now.

Your face churned, small chatter picking up slowly around you.

"Oh no, is she going to curb stomp him?" 

"Poor Xu Minghao. I pity him."

"Rest in peace, Haohao."

Even the teachers paused to watch. You heard an: “Oh!” from McGonagall who was making her way towards you. She was far away though. 

If you grabbed your wand now and hexed this Xu MInghao who was looking at you blankly, your rage would compensate. Your hand made its way to your pocket and—

Someone grabbed you from behind and when you looked back, your anger only furthered at the face of Joshua.

“Hong, get off me right now. I might punch the both of you in your manhoods.” you threatened lowly but grateful to the quietness in the hall, it seemed that the Gryffindor table could hear it from all across the room but not the teachers.

“I don’t think you’re in the position to when you have all that trickling down you.” he began.

You wanted to lean back and punch his face.

“Go, Joshua!” you heard a Lee Seokmin say from a distance, the insolent Gryffindor who you had once collided into after practice and being pestered by your teammates. He got one hell of a lecture from you, you weren’t sure why he was talking like he had it easy from you.

But you weren’t able to even get your word in about this mistreatment because before you knew it, you were being dragged out, out of your own will. A spell? You didn’t know, neither could you meet the eyes of McGonagall anymore because she was lashed into a conversation with Dumbledore. And this was the accurate cause why you shunned all the teachers in this school except Snape and sometimes, Hagrid.

Joshua was in lead, your body somehow hexed and following. All that flooded your mind was how wrong this was. Because it looked like you were the one that was following him despite the desperate looks from your body to him.

“Let me go and you’ll have less of a problem.” you seethed dangerously between your teeth.

Joshua smiled back at you as the two of you exited the dining hall like it was nothing. “You need help.”

Did he not get it? You didn’t want his stupid help, neither did you want to see his stupid face. “Hong, I will scream.”

“And I’ve already hexed you so I don’t see your point of trying.”

This was trivial. Joshua was acting like a whole different person. A badger once dripping with honey in his words and actions was now the one to drag you up the stairs without a question from everyone else. You were barraged with the sheer lack of care the people had around you. Did no one dare blink into the troubled face of yours and thought of helping you? That seems not to be the case.

When Joshua was pushing through the students (nicely) with his Head Boy privilege, you could tell where you were going. The one place where you had more advantage than most of your dorm—the Prefect bathroom. You saw students around you sneaking glances as Joshua entered the Prefect bathroom and you entering after him, sadly, with no choice. 

Now they wanted to stare. Oh, did the anger in you wanted to burn the whole school down.

“What the hell was that about?!” you roared when the door slammed shut behind you. Your limbs felt free, you could only assume that he took the hex off. And it was later confirmed when you saw his wand clutched in his grip.

Joshua’s eyes finally widened and you could see the fear slip into them. You weren’t falling for it. “I really wasn’t expecting you to know who I was.”

“Oh, of course, I didn’t know who you were until Mr Gentleman here decided to give me a run of his money. Last time I checked, Hufflepuffs stayed in their place.”

Joshua was quiet.

He didn’t say anything, his eyes reached the floor before a smirk sculpted his lips. Your mouth was agape at the audacity. Not once had you encountered such a Hufflepuff.

“I keep warning you—I won’t hesitate.” Your fingers found your wand tucked in your skirt, the slippery consistency of gravy between your fingers. And the vividly distressing memory of being humiliated was back.

“Okay, Y/N. Gravy is spilling between your legs, you look like a mess, and I’m the one who currently has the Slytherin girls’ spare uniform...you make the decision.”

You had been far too patient. Balling your fist, you did not hesitate in having a good run-up and punching him right in the stomach.

“You set this up! I’m seriously gonna—“

“No, wait, listen—“

“Why should I listen to a pervert who is obviously trying to bargain me into taking my clothes off in front of him after getting someone to spill gravy all over me. Do you think a Hufflepuff could ever get in with a Slytherin? And me, out of all people?” you spat, furrowing your eyebrows in disgrace.

You punched him.

Joshua clutched his abdomen, doubling over from the pain. You could feel the throb roam aimlessly within your knuckles as you retrieved it. You tilted your head sharply so the crack from the root of your neck would resonate in the bathroom. It was a known fact between the Prefects that the bathroom had a reverberation throughout.

“Stop, okay? I’m sorry. Mingyu helped me set this up. He thought if I was more upfront with my feelings, it would help me land you.” he told you, eyes sincerely drawing into yours

You seized him by the collar and pulled him inevitably closer. And with that move, it felt like Joshua’s whole body stopped working. But he let his words flow warmly.

“Land me? What do you mean by land me?”

“I have a crush on you and Mingyu planned this whole thing where I would take you out of the cafeteria and help you out and he gave me this huge script thing and I-I believed him instead of—“ His eyes could only accept fear into it.

“You expect me to believe this bullshit?” you questioned him, feeling mocked he would mess you with something like that. How low.

“Yes? Why would I lie about this? And to you? You will never find me doing that.” he challenged

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m trying to say I like you a lot and this whole thing was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have pulled moves on you because it was wrong to you and set a bad example for my underclassmen. I’m sorry for getting in your way.”

Joshua saying he liked you had no effect on you. In fact, you were fairly ashamed. How could he take a careless word from an underclassman when he had girls upon him constantly? He should’ve known what to do. Your clutch loosened on the boy, letting him from your fury grasp.

“You should be. I don’t want this crush nonsense anymore. Stay out of my way, if you know what’s good for you..” you threatened him.

Joshua couldn’t even look at you. He must’ve known from the way you were no one to be fooled with. After all, you were known for your malicious words and merciless tendencies. For him to even attempt was an exceptionally brave and stupid thing to do. You wished he never tried, you would’ve been less stressed about your day.

“Understandable…the uniform is in the third bath cubicle, have a good day.”

He doesn’t blink into your face as he left, leaving you in the Prefect bathroom alone. You let out a loud sigh, feeling the inside of you collapse from the stress. He was just hitting on you and it failed horribly. You shook your head, unleashing the tight furrow on your eyebrows. The longer you thought about it, the longer it would have an unneeded effect on you.

Right, you were merciless and angry but you had a rationale conscious. You sighed and decided to go into the third cubicle, where a huge bath was already bubbling, surprising you. You figured it must’ve been Joshua’s doing.

This is the bare minimum.

You squatted right at the edge of the concrete where the sumptuously built bathtub was and dipped the edge of your fingertips of the water. It was warm. How?

Undressing, you wondered how the boy managed to keep the bath still warm. You had to have been in the Great Hall for a good five minutes and to get to the Prefect bathroom was almost ten minutes. Dipping yourself into the bath, the water welcomed you cordially. The foam covered your nudity from above and there was no doubt in your mind that Joshua must’ve got someone to do this minutes before you hypothetically entered—the only explanation that could be offered. If there was a spell, he would’ve had to go back into the third cubicle and take the hex off.

So that meant that he went super far into planning this.

He’s genuinely interested in me…

Who cares?

A booming “woooo~” scared the living daylights out of you. Your thighs clenched tightly as you backed to your dirty robes where your wand remained in case of danger.

It was nothing to be afraid of though.

Moaning Mrytle came from under, her body loose next to you so suddenly your body paralyzed for a whole second.

“Bathing so late in the morning, are we? Classes start soon.” Her eyes lowered a little. You pushed the soapy foam closer to you despite her seeing you from under anyways. There was something about Mrytle perving on you from above that made you generally awkward. She never hid her lustful tendencies as a spirit.

“If it wasn’t for an idiot, I wouldn’t be here, would I, Mrytle?”

“Badger boy~! Oh, he’s so incredibly handsome! Ah! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t fall in love with such a heartthrob.” she said, pouting at you. She perched her face on her hand, sighing heavily. “If I was still alive and in this generation of students, I would’ve had a huge crush on him or his incredibly handsome friend.”

Something little quipped in your heart at her words. You let the sound of the Moaning Mrytle's legs kicking her legs under the water sit a little. Gears were working in your head, finding a solution to that feeling. Why were you feeling that? It was like you could coincide with what she was saying. 

But finding Joshua conventionally attractive didn’t mean you liked him like that, in fact, it was the opposite. But Mrytle must’ve known what was going on, at least more than you did. You might as well dig for more information.

“Mrytle, did he come in here earlier?”

She smiled. “Whyyyy~?! Do you have a crush on him?!”

You were afraid that the question was going to come up, but you defended yourself nicely.

“Well, it must be every girl’s inquisition if a boy has a crush on her. You would know that Mrytle, you’re such a gem!” Being nice was definitely not your forte, but you had to try to get the truth out.

But she smiled, taking it which made it all worth it. “Oh, stop it!…well, he did bring that incredibly handsome Hufflepuff Prefect in here and they were discussing something about you. I heard that older boy say that he was in love with you and it hurts liking you. They were talking about something about you but I wasn’t paying much attention. The other one’s face was such a distraction, honestly!”

No one has talked about you that way. You felt empty.

Your thoughts were getting nowhere. All you could describe was shock at the situation that was ducked. Never once in your life have you heard about another person talking about being hurt while liking you.

Your heart felt as if it was weakening, but you retained quickly, remembering that he brought you into this current situation with his stupid action plan, thinking it would make you weaker. And that instantly made you fed up. The aggression wasn't as strong anymore and you wanted for it to be badly. 

He couldn't just do that and expect to win you over, that was beside the point.

He was messing with you.

Joshua Hong was trying to distract you.

—

The moon had always captured your eyes. It was like the big glowing circle would enlarge whenever someone fed it attention and admiration, becoming more beautiful. You couldn’t help it, indicting it on the divine sight the library had of it. Nonetheless, you couldn't let go of a certain topic knacking you on the back of the head—a bigger inquisition than the merit the moon offered.

"Do you think what Moaning Mrytle said was true?" It was a day following the event at The Great Hall.

Your best friend slid to your side. He grabbed a pebble on the windowsill and flung it back, letting go at the fit angle. The rock wheeled through the gaps of the circular window frame and into the atmosphere for a stable second, awarding unneeded silence to answer your question. Both of you paid attention to the rock's adventure until it decided to stop midair and drop down at an increasingly fearful speed. 

Junhui let out a sigh and then turned around to you, leaning his figure against the window frame. 

"I mean, I don’t know. It seems like anyone would be dedicated if they were planning to embarrass themselves in front of their crush. I wonder if Mingyu bribed him.” he stated.

You could hardly see it. Even on the court, Mingyu was too much of a good sportsman. It was beyond his abilities.

“I doubt it..." You leaned against the window frame like your best friend, giggling a little."Funny how I know nothing about him and he’s confessing.”

“Okay, but what do we do now that everyone thinks he brought you into the Prefects bathroom to screw?” he asked you. It was a question he ached to ask for so long, you could see it since this morning in which he gave you the most bewildered face when he learned that the rumours were totally muddled up. Students must've thought otherwise when they saw you and Joshua on the way up to the bathroom.

“I don’t really care what they think. I just hope he doesn’t come to mess around with my breakfast times again.” you shrugged, a small smile on your face at the recollection of humiliation on Joshua's face. You felt embarrassed for him, you couldn't begin to imagine how he was feeling.

"Oh if I was him, I would be scared to death.” 

"As he should be...should we go back? I wanna sleep so bad," you suggested.

Jun pressed his lips tightly together and nodded, agreeing with you. "Me too and we have practice tomorrow too."

"That we do."

You collectively exited the library, not forgetting to wave Madam Pince a 'good night'. Jun and you made your way down the many stairs from the library, engaging in a humorous conversation, distant from the drama in your life that had been missing for a while. It didn't seem like it but Junhui was a big gossiper. You would hear everything from him before it would come from anyone and it was because of how he was always able to be at the scene of the crime. All the time.

Of course, except yesterday when Joshua was dragging you out of the Great Hall.

You felt a little uneasy on the ground floor, knowing that the two of you had to go past the Hufflepuff dormitory on the way to the dungeons. It was a pain honestly and it showed that the event affected you more than it should've.

"Not you thinking about him already."

"Boy, shut up," you told him as you took the lead into the hallway, guiding towards the dormitory to show that you weren't anywhere near thinking about Joshua.

It hadn't even been ten steps.

Your breath hobbled in your throat as you came to an instant stop. Jun knocked into your shoulder from behind.

“No, Momo. You’ve had too much to drink. Go inside, I’m gonna go get something from the kitchen and I—“

"NoOoO, I wanna see her now. She’s all I think about Joshua, she’s all I—“

Joshua was holding up a girl, trying to get her to stand upright on the wall and from the looks of it, it was something scandalous. Her eyes were dull, somewhat trying to find their way into slumber. She was drunk. Drunk as hell.

His back was facing you so there was no way he would see you. How would you slip by without him noticing? What if he sees you? Questions waved in your mind, all of 'the avoidance'. Whatever it was, you didn't want to be dealing with anything involving Joshua.

"Oi, Hufflepuff. What happened?" Jun asked loudly, leaving you flabbergasted. 

What is he doing?!

Joshua turned around, hands busy holding the girl's shoulders. He looked back at Jun and his eyes widened a little. It was moments before his view fleeted to you. You wanted to scream with frustration. Your best friend—

You were betrayed.

He didn't look at you for long, his glance gliding towards an allegedly helpful Jun. It was the truth that he was only doing this because he wanted to get on your nerves somehow.

"She drank something the sixth years gave her and now she’s drunk. I don’t know what she drank though,” he replied.

It was surprising that a situation like this would arise for a Hufflepuff. Nevertheless, you paid no mind to them conversing. You could feel Jun's eyes penetrating through you as you shied your eyes to the ground that was far more interesting than what they were talking about. The drunk girl let out yet another groan of disobedience.

"Stop, Momo," Joshua said sternly. 

Without a second after his words, you felt yourself being thrown forwards. Pushing back Junhui's hand, your jaw clenched. It took everything in you to keep your mouth shut from the words you wanted to spew out.

"Y/N here happens to be an alcoholic at a young age—"

"I am not!" you interrupted at the out-of-proportion lie. You only drank a couple of times and he knows it was for family events. The snarky smile on his face made you want to punch him.

“What I’m trying to say is she’s good at sniffing out drinks, why don’t you let us in and we can help you out?" Jun suggested casually.

Jun was in big trouble for sure. Any second now and he was going to find himself in a headlock.

"I don't know....that's not allowed." Joshua's chin tilted downwards, rejecting Jun's offer.

At least the goody-two-shoes himself wasn't letting you in anyways.

“Yeah, Jun.” you pressed, glaring.

Jun spoke up though, “Oh well, it’s your loss, really, Hong. You’ll have no idea what went into your friend’s body and you’ll have to go to the teachers and ask them if she has some kind of reaction. And won’t that be an embarrassment for you to have to tell, as Head Boy, that your underclassmen were messing around with alcohol under your nose? But I guess, it’s your decision.”

Junhui being snappy instead of being full-on aggressive was a rare scene, meaning that he was farming a lot of force to embarrass you. Of course, he was. Sometimes your misery was his happiness.  

Joshua's stare followed to the ground, yielding you relief that you weren't going to deal with him or the drunk girl. You felt a little bad for her but anything for your rep, right?

"He doesn't want us, let's go." You grabbed Junhui's wrist and dragged him down the hallway without another look. After this, you planned on having an early night so that you would have enough energy for tomorrow's practice.

“Joshua, please. I want to see Dahyun, I have to apologise to her. She’s the only reason I’m living. I—"

“Fine.” His voice stabbed in the hallways and it was plain that Joshua was aching in the drunk girl's antics. Chills ran up your body unexpectedly. He did not agree, did he?

"You heard our boy, Y/N." Jun reversed your positions, grabbing your hand instead to drag you down the hallway excitedly. A million-dollar smile was cemented on your best friend's face and dumbfoundedly, you were led by him down the hallway, helpless to understand it. There was no way Joshua, the Head Boy and Prefect and above all, Hufflepuff was letting you into his dorm. 

You clung onto Jun's hand for dear life, his clutch so loose that he would probably let you cluster to the ground if he were to let you go. 

Momo's half-shut eyes blinked into yours, reaching you right in the abdomen. She was drunk, you didn’t know what went into her body. What if it was poison? What if something horrible happened to her? God damn it.

You couldn't leave now.

Her eyes would haunt you forever then. This wasn't for Joshua, it was for her. The sudden change of heart was noticed greatly by Jun as you swayed his grip off of you. As much as you were doing this, the touch of men, you were disgusted by.

Joshua told his password in front of you and got in with the girl and with you and Jun following. Neither you and Jun were scared of basically infiltrating another house's dorm being rebellious students already but the way Joshua was worrying his lip between his teeth didn't pass you.

His lips are so plump—oh my God, what the hell am I thinking?

Your eyes widened at the side of his face, ensuring Momo that everything was going to be okay. That's how you were able to see his lips perfectly, excluding the gloom cast atop the dormitory. The thought shook you on the inside, you disliked it. Why would such a thought pass you, in the first place? Were you losing control?

“Guys, calm down. They’re just here to help Momo out. There’s no need to look at them like that. Seungkwan, take her.” Joshua announced to the many eyes staring back. You felt no astonishment to them.

A boy walked out and helped Joshua wrap an arm around Momo and bring her to comfy armchairs by the fireplace.

“If this keeps happening, we’re going to have to discuss with our companies—I mean, school. I mean, school. Why the hell did I say company?" Seungkwan patted her head slowly as she lulled her head on his shoulder without a care in the world.

"Where's the drink?" Jun asked from your side.

Joshua picked up a glass from a small table in front of him. He passed it to you. The remains of the drink were still evident on the bottom of the glass and you hoped hard that no one changed the glass while you were gone. You looked at the remains for a second before sniffing the drink, the smell already familiar to your nose.

"It's just regular ale, nothing bad will happen to her," you declared. 

The tension in the air dispersed. Joshua exhaled with relief as you put the glass back onto the table. 

"Let's go," you said to Jun, whining slightly. The longer you stayed in here, the more you wanted to die from embarrassment.

"Um, excuse me?" Joshua asked you and the desperation in you grew. Did he not understand? "How do I, um..."

"Sober her up?" you questioned. The yellow started to feel like a perpetual blot to the eyes and a steadfast reminder that he was within few feet of you.

You reached into your robes quickly and pulled out a vial that was the size of your palm. You couldn't believe you were giving away your last vial, but there was no choice. Gazing at Momo as you pass the concoction to him, sorry flooded you. Poor girl—

"Just make sure that...she doesn't drink anything handed to her."

You couldn't hold back the tongue of empathy clawing you, tormenting you. The ends of Joshua's lips quirked up slowly and you couldn't help but know exactly what that meant. The nice boy in him was going to spurt with gratefulness. Deciding quickly that it was time to go, you grabbed Jun and turned to head down the way you came.

However, a persistent word of gratitude slipped from between his lips anyways. "Thanks, Y/N!"

Disregarding him, you were beholden to find your palm on the door with a very giggly Jun on your side. As soon as you were in the hallway again, you let Jun move away from you before you punched him harshly in the chest. Even though you were doing this for Momo, he was still to blame for dragging you into it in the first place and making you blink into her face and feeling sorry for her.

To your surprise, the boy didn't flinch at all.

You almost forgot. The Beast Beater, what were you expecting?

"What was that about?!" you yelled at him.

He threw his head back, laughing at the glower you had. Was it funny? Was it really entertaining to him that you were suffering? The boil in you was proceeding to the edge as a hand weaved through your robe. Your wand was seconds away from meeting your grabby and desperate hand.

"Just teasing you..." Jun said, waving his hand dismissively. He walked towards the Slytherin dorms. You followed him, still heated but you let go of the wand for the reason that you didn't want to hex him so bad that you would get into trouble. There you went with your rational conscience again. "But hey, he's not a bad lad, you know? You could do with someone like him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" If you were to know everyone in the whole wide world, Junhui would still be the person to hate Hufflepuffs the most. Overly to the extent that some of the bitterness rubbed off on you throughout the years since the two of you were practically inseparable.

“It means that you need water for your fire, an eggplant to your peach, a—"

"Jun, I'll hit you!" 

He ran away before you could even get to him.

—

The Gryffindor teacher yet again had a lot to say. With a hand clutched onto the parchment with your excellent grade, you exited the class with heat radiating on your face. She had a problem with your continuous obsession—as the woman labelled it—with talking about her when her back was turned. You had no response for once because you had no idea she could hear you.

You could assume a student told her but then again, she's McGonagall.

You let out a sigh, looking down at your Transfiguration test. 

"Good job on the test though. You must've studied hard, L/N."

You pushed the test down, unable to look at it as you strode the halls with quick, angry steps. Was there a second where you weren't mad? It was a side of you that was always growing whether you liked it or not.

It relinquished within a second when you found the show of a familiar figure by the entrance of the school. She peeked her head out tentatively before rolling her heels back in the shadows, tending her back against the wall. Her eyebrows knitted in. 

You walked up to Lia suspiciously, crossing over a bunch of first-year Gryffindors who let you go first. They whispered harshly to each other in what you could assume was talk about the person you were. Not that it mattered—everything was interesting to the first years.

You were curious about Lia's behaviour since she was meant to be at practice right now and not wandering around the castle.

"You're supposed to be at practice."

She jumped, her hands flying to her chest. "Oh, it's just you."

"What are you doing here?" you asked.

Lia avoided your eyes.

"Well, tell me." you pressed on.

"Ugh, fine," she groaned, stamping her foot on the ground. "I fake-confessed to Eric because it was a dare from Ryujin and now he thinks I'm for real. He won't stop talking to me, even during class. It’s so annoying."

She scanned your face for your reaction.

"Why would you do that, stupid?" you said, holding in a small giggle.

Lia smiled a little subsequent to your light heart towards her reason. "I don't even know. I just wanted to prove myself, I guess...but! It's whatever now. I can go with you, Captain."

She linked arms with you, notwithstanding another second and led the way through the exit of the castle. The breeze felt a little heavy. It was an overcast day, murk weaved in between the students on the late Wednesday afternoon. It was an exhausting week already and for the students to keep going felt like a burden in the disguise of an obligation.

Lia glimpsed down at your test paper on your other hand.

"Ninety-five per cent?" she questioned, an impressed hum leaving her. "I thought you hated McGonagall."

"I do. But I have parents to make proud of," you answered, walking uphill.

"Don't all Slytherins?"

The slash of green and red from a distance didn't allow you to continue your conversation with Lia. As you were on top of the hill, you could see the anger on Ryujin and Sunwoo's faces, sensing something was wrong as they were meant to be getting ready to practice.

"Gryffindors? But we booked the field!"

"That we did, kid, but we know that Bradley Ainsworth is a little persistent, isn't he?" you dangerously chided under your breath. You drew Lia with you as you stomped determinedly downhill and towards the merged teams in an obvious fickle.

But something else hit you as you got there.

"Where's Jun?" you asked.

"He's in detention," Yuna replied to you prior to looking back at the Gryffindor Captain."We already booked the field. You guys can’t just come and interrupt our practice time like that.”

It was impressive that she could talk like that even though she was only the assistant manager. You felt proud that you taught your managers well and not to take shit from other people.

"No, you didn't. Check again. We booked it today and swapped you out for Sunday." Bradley looked at you with a smile. 

What a pain to look at.

You felt your frustration reach its peak.

"Are you kidding me?! No, you didn't!" you shouted as you ditched Lia's hand aggressively. The test paper in your hand was getting scrunched with every second of your talking.

"Hoshi," Bradley demanded, smirking. Their Chaser, Hoshi, picked up a piece of paper that was apparently worth millions and above all, proving his point. Indeed, you were swapped out for Sunday, but that would mean no break for your team on the weekend. You would already spend four hours practising on Wednesdays and Saturdays. For you to practice eight hours over the course of two days would take a toll on all your bodies.

"Ainsworth, you can't just do this stuff without telling me!"

"I'm sorry, L/N. But we have practice to get to," he said and was about to leave.

“Stop. Because you know that you’re not supposed to book the field out on my day unless you have special permission! This is absurd.”

"Absurd, she says." Fred and George mimicked and Hoshi laughs loudly.

Bradley was going to get it from you today whether he liked it or not because you weren't a fan of letting you and your team not practice when they were all already changed.

"Ainsworth, I suggest kindly that you all leave the field before I tell Snape about this and land you all in detention. Oh, and won’t that be your fifth detention from Snape this quarter? Doesn’t that mean a suspension?”

He pursed his lips tightly. As expected, all Gryffindors had intimidation towards Snape as a teacher. You never fully understood it until you actually came to Hogwarts where he treated his own house better than any other house. 

“Wait…why don’t we ask outside our own perception of this…um,” Bradley looked around nervously. You scoffed, finding this aspect of him different from how he usually acted. He would act all high and mighty all the time, he walked like he owned Hogwarts, he was such a tryhard with girls too. 

You smiled back at your team.

Until he did something unexpected.

“Hong! Get over here!”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You hadn't seen Joshua Hong in two whole days and you were praying not to have to bump into him. But there he was, walking around with Momo, supposedly going to the lake.

“You are so not asking a Hufflepuff right now,” Sunwoo stated as Joshua and Momo walked over. She was looking a lot better today, you noted.

“Do you see any other alliances Slytherins have?” Bradley asked.

He was foul-mouthed and the steam of outrage touched the edge. You whisked out your wand, bringing it near his button nose. Bradley froze, brazen words leaving his mouth one second ago, all disappearing within the nanosecond. Kevin immediately pushed your hand down before things got too violent. You breathed out sharply, glaring at the Captain of the opposing team.

“You can’t just speak to our Captain like that!" Ryujin shouted at him, furrowing her eyebrows.

Bradley let out a small chuckle. “Oh, wow. Your team actually respects you, L/N. I remember what happened last time when you got—“

Triple homicide—Eric’s fist met with his abdomen, Tzuyu kicked him right in the knees and George, surprisingly, kicked him from the back. It was unexpected he was defending you but you appreciated it regardless. 

Bradley fell to the ground, his eyes widened at the abrupt fighting. Your fist was shaking as you drew it back, rubbing it slowly with the other. Tears threatened to follow down your face from the shock. 

You never really got over it...he had no title talking about you like that, you had no control over what happened then. The way his team didn't say anything and the twins glaring at him for his actions proved that he deserved it.

"What was that for?!” he had the audacity to ask

“How could you bring that up here?! You are seriously an asshole if you think we’re not going to do anything about this!" Tzuyu yelled at him.

Joshua held a hand out at the fallen Captain to your astonishment. "Calm down, the two of you. Why are we yelling here?"

Momo pulled Joshua back, letting the Gryffindor fall back to the ground with a thud. Joshua was persistent, pushing back Momo with a shoulder shrug. You felt like you should've punched him too.

“Joshua, stop—"

“No, I’m not going to stop! It can’t just suddenly be okay for her to push Ainsworth just because she wants the field.”

Tzuyu placed a hand on your shoulder, an attempt to calm you down but all you could do was push it off as a tear slid down your face. Joshua's mouth fell agape slightly at the sight. It was like he could capture every detail of you. Then he should've known what he was sticking up for, especially when it was about you.

“So it’s okay for Ainsworth to bring up how I got sexually assaulted in front of everyone?! Wow, thanks, Joshua. I can really see which side you’re on.” You left with tears, not wanting to see his face again, although, his eyes intruding when you ended your first sentence was stuck in your head. The amazingly graded test paper flew from your grips too, abandoned on the grass.

“Good job, Hong. Good fucking job.” Ryujin spoke up and you apprehended the steps of your team following you, guarding your back against a backstab you didn't expect from a person who pleads his case of crushing on you.

Was it all a lie?

—

"Where is she?" you heard Jun ask from outside the bathroom.

“She’s in there,” Eric answered and there was a moment of silence. You basked in it, letting the girls cling onto you like you were spending your last few moments with them. In truth, the younger ones didn’t know what was going on at all but Tzuyu and Ryujin knew for sure. Tzuyu was on the team at that time which was why she was the prime caretaker when Junhui wasn’t there. 

The tears just wouldn’t stop—not even when Wonyoung was wiping them away, not even when Lia was stroking your back with her soft palm, not even when Yuna was holding your hand and not even when Ryujin was laying on your shoulder. Until, of course, the door burst open with the presence of the Beast Beater.

The girls jumped in surprise.

“What did bloody Ainsworth say to you?” Jun asked, showing no action to the girls. His eyes were stuck on you defensively.

“It’s nothing, Jun.”

You didn’t understand how vulnerable you were at that moment. 

Jun’s fingers reached his temples in frustration before he grunted. He walked over to you and the girls, letting his hand reach the shoulder that wasn’t occupied with your Seeker. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there but I’m here now.”

His genuineness closed the crevice where your tears poured mercilessly—you felt enlightened by Jun and in no doubt were you going to handle the circumstance yourself as you did before. You were going to talk.

Looking at the girls hopefully, they caught the message. 

“We’ll be guarding the entrance, okay?” Yuna said.

You nodded, the weight of them leaving you in a matter of seconds. They left through the tattered dark door of the second-floor lavatory in an orderly fashion, Lia peeking over at you, her eyes smiling at you lovingly. You nodded at her. She smiled and then closed the door behind her, enabling privacy between you and your best friend.

“Now, explain everything,” Junhui said, putting his hands on his hips. 

You sighed, then, you explained everything. In full detail. He nodded, taking in your words as this was the first time that Wen Junhui wasn’t at the scene of the crime. Actually, second because of the time with Joshua at The Great Hall, he was slumbering in the dorms. Junnhui listened carefully unto you told him what Joshua said.

“Hong did that?!” he exclaimed.

“Yeah, he did that.” you sniffled, the tears about to come back. You were about to lose it, remembering his eyes and the understanding that hit him then. Again, it was on Joshua, himself. He messed up, you couldn’t go around feeling bad for him. But you felt so bad when he realised. He was only trying to diffuse things and not let anyone get hurt.

But he didn’t have to glare at me like that.

“He was defending him all it was worth. I’m just disappointed,” you told Jun.

“Why?!” he questioned.

“I mean, I helped him out and he just accused me of something. He doesn’t even know how shitty of a person Bradley is,” you told him.

“I’m more worried about Bradley. I think we need to show him what Slytherins are about.”

You knew exactly what that meant but you didn’t want him to do anything bad that would result him in getting in trouble.

“Don’t get in trouble for me.” you smiled through a blurry sight of Jun.

“What else can I do?”

—

“This is your final warning. Next time, I’ll actually murder you..” Jun pushed him again against the sacks of flour behind him. It was impressive how he was madder than you about this. You admired his attempts in beating Ainsworth up and you also admired his bloodied knuckles with his fine set of rings which were inherited from his great grandfather. Jun bounced back, tilting his head to the right, a crack heard clearly in the room of working House Elves.

They paid no mind to you guys beating him up, they were profoundly focussing on their work for making dinner for the thousand students that attended Hogwarts. In fact, you were sitting on one of the benchtops, enjoying a tall glass of milk and iced cookies made by the elves for you. It had been long since you knew that Dumbledore had House Elves working beneath him than the food being magicked up itself. It was an easy way for you to beat Ainsworth up in here because you threatened the elves that if they were to tell anything to old man Dumbledore, they would find themselves in a little accident—or more or less, a kitchen fire. Not that Dumbledore would ask them anyways, you would make sure that Ainsworth kept his pretty mouth shut about this after.

“Do you think it’s funny to make fun of someone’s trauma?” Sunwoo yelled, kicking him right in the abdomen. This was beyond evil but he didn’t leave you with any other choice. Ainsworth was there when you were ushered into the hospital wing for immediate care, he watched you with his eyes that were half-awake because of the drug you were under.

Tzuyu bent down to her knees into a squat, grabbing Bradley by the collar. She pushed his face into his and smirked. “It hurts now, doesn’t it?” 

Bradley whimpered.

“God, that was hot.” Junhui cleared his throat.

You all looked at him expectantly. He rubbed his knuckles in his other hand, looking at the details of the ceilings, far from realizing that you were all looking at him. Excluding, Tzuyu, who just slapped Bradley in the face. He looked back at you and you beamed slowly. Did he like Tzuyu? 

“W-What? I said it was hot in here, you know? Because—”

He was so dumb, it was literally freezing in the kitchen, you didn’t know how the elves wielded in such harsh living conditions. You shook your head and then joined Tzuyu down on the floor, squatting right in front of Ainsworth. Holding him up by his blonde locks, drenched in sweat and little specks of blood, you smiled at him. You already had your time with him before, in fact, you were the first to land an excellent kick in the groin.

“Now you know to not mess with me again, we’ll leave you to tender your wounds, how about that?” you asked, crinkling your eyes as you smiled at him. You stuffed a cookie into Bradley’s bloody mouth as he whimpers in fear. You patted his cheek gently, his eyes exhaustingly peeking into yours. “Guys, let’s go now.”

“Righty-o, Captain.” Eric began making his way through the gaps between the short countertops made especially for the elves. You followed through, a satisfied feeling closing you with a breath of relief. Sunwoo opened the door for you, letting you go first as a way to show his pride in your wondrous bravery. 

You wished you didn’t go.

The smile that was on your face disappeared within a second. You relaxed your face and walked towards the left, a dire desire to leave.

“Please, Y/N. Let me explain myself—” 

“How many times are you going to apologize, Joshua? Actually—how many times are you going to mess up? You know what? Don’t even talk to me. If I look at you any longer, I’m actually going to start feeling sorry for you.”

Joshua’s eyes were big and sad, “I—”

Jun pushed him with his shoulder, making it to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “You heard her.”

You turned around and walked off with Jun.

Guilt swarmed through you, you felt that you were too harsh, you knew that yourself. The sorry in his eyes were prominent, so prominent that they shouldn’t be ignored. He was genuine—it was an innate characteristic of the Hufflepuffs and he wanted to make up for his mistakes. 

Why were you such a bad person? 

He’s a Hufflepuff.

“God, is it bad that I feel bad?” you asked under your breath, moving Jun’s hand away from you.

He smirked, nudging you with his shoulder. Nevertheless, you appreciated that he kept his voice down as your teammates fitted nicely into their own conversations. 

“Look at you being soft…no it’s not. He shouldn’t have reacted like that regardless. He basically minimized your problems.” 

How, though? You wanted to ask. How did Joshua minimize my problems when he was only trying to diffuse the heated problem between Bradley and I and was trying to make sure that no one got hurt because, in truth, that was the best for all of us? Plus, he didn’t know about my circumstance, that’s not his fault.

The realisation of your self-acceptance of the situation only made you want to bang your head on the nearest wall.

—

When Ainsworth came through to Ghoul Studies class the next day, you had to bite back a smile that was coming onto your face. There was no Jun to nudge and talk to about how his fingers were cuffed in bandages.

“Oh, Ainsworth. What happened to you?” the teacher asked, a frown settling on her lips.

“He fell off his broom during practice. It’s horrible, isn’t it?!” one of his many fangirls asked the teacher. You put your hand on your mouth, seeing how dejected his excuse was. So that was the excuse he gave to others? Ainsworth didn’t acknowledge you at all, taking a seat rows in front of you so that he couldn’t see your face.

You leaned back against your chair and smiled to yourself slightly for the rest of the class. When the class had finished, you were off on your feet swiftly to find Jun. But there was no seeing him come out of his Transfiguration class at all. You decided to pop in, at last, seeing McGonagall packing her things up with her wand. You couldn’t hold back your words at your least favourite teacher.

“Using magic for selfish needs, hm? You’re always telling us not to do that.” you scolded pretendingly, crossing your arms together across your chest. Her books nearly dropped her books down to the ground at you being in her class.

“Merlin’s beard, having you in this class four times a week is already a hassle but having you here for another day is just too much.” she sighed, shoving her wand into her robes. Abruptly, she smiled, causing you to do them. As much as you didn’t like her as a teacher, the woman reminded you of yourself at some times—the way she scolded students and her comebacks that were so blazing. They almost proved you wrong too but if it wasn’t for your own cunning remarks, you and McGonagall wouldn’t be in this puddle of disagreement and sharp words that pricked your flesh like a broken mirror.

And not to mention, there was a point in time where you were close to her. A dark time for you.

“Mr. Wen, I presume?” she asked you, walking out of the classroom. You followed her towards the door, getting there before her so you could open it wide for her. She had some things in her hands. “Thank you.”

“Of course, always. Where is he?” you asked. “Or did he skip again?”

“Ah, not this time.” the teacher told you. “I let the class go a minute earlier so I assume that he’s already feasting in the Great Hall. Very fidgety, something to tell him? Confess?”

“Oh, professor!” you exclaimed, putting your wand that you were playing with into your skirt. The teacher’s smile was not to abstain, she was undoubtedly amused at your behaviour, although, she got the wrong message. You were only excited to tell Junhui the message of Ainsworth behaviour in class that was amusing. “It’s nothing like that! Jun…please.”

“Well, the two of you seemed to be very close. One could only think so,” She was going to turn right and meaning she was going to the staff room because of the number of books she had. “Eat well, I’ve got to go drop these books.”

You couldn’t believe you talked to her nicely after these past two years.

You nodded. “You too. Bye, professor. Have a good day!”

The words slipped out before you could stop them. Though, there was no regret in them, only slight embarrassment that you would be soft around the Gryffindor. Oh, you couldn’t help it. She’s done many things for you, you could only do the bare minimum. McGonagall’s face softened. She didn’t say anything back, so you turned around and kept walking down the hallway, the aroma of food filling your nostrils quickly.

“L/N.”

You whipped your head at her. She was rooted in the same spot, her hands holding the books as if she was going to put them on the floor right then. There was an unreadable expression on her face that even you couldn’t decipher for the life of you. It was like McGonagall was questioning everything at that moment until she covered the look with a smile.

“Yes, professor?”

“If you ever need to talk again, I’m always here for you.”

You blinked a couple of times.

The nights of crying in her office were soon brought back, clenching your heart tightly. That was two years back but it felt like a lifetime away from the warm sense of her office. She was so kind to you and all you’ve been was a rude student. 

You still remembered not being able to sleep and going to hers or Snape’s office to sit there for a while just to bask in their safe presences before they would accompany you to the dorms again. It was crazy how you let it all go like it was nothing when in truth, every moment filled you with delight that someone was there for you besides Jun. 

And then, you looked at her for the house she was in. That she was just a Gryffindor, that she was not worth your care or respect.

It was a betrayal at its finest.

“O-Of course, professor. I’ll see you tomorrow for class.” Your heart pulled itself as you stepped away, walking towards The Great Hall, the aroma no longer satisfying your senses. Instead, all you could do was drown in sorrow. That was the first time in years that you spoke to the woman like another human being. You still remember being in Dumbledore’s office the day after it happened. 

FLASHBACK

“How can you let this happen, Professor Dumbledore?! How could you let such an occurrence happen to my daughter?!” your mother yelled as you held your father’s hand tightly. It felt like shame in there, you felt as if this was all your fault. Being sexually assaulted earned this trauma on you—one you couldn’t decipher then, but all you knew was that the worst came out of it and it brought the weakest side of you out. You hated it and you hated everyone. There was the thought that it could happen again.

“I apologise dearly, this shouldn’t have happened at all,” Dumbledore spoke calmly.

“Is this how you always handle situations like this, professor?” Jun’s father asked.

“Putting him in juvenile and serving time in Azkaban for a few years is not enough for you, Mr Wen?” Dumbledore questioned. “I have expelled him, he has no future at all now.”

“Her Quidditch Captain raped her and now you’re not offering anything to her. Counselling is the least you can do.” your mother yelled again. Tears pricked her eyes, drowning your heart in your stomach. Seeing her cry took a toll on you, one that felt like the worst burden in the world. You grabbed her wrist and pulled her to sit down beside you. It was quiet for a second.

The night was cold on October—it was evidently fall and the hushed breeze let in by Dumbledore’s window aroused the hairs on your skin to come to standing. 

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you.” Your mother’s hands shook as she held your face. It was sadistic—the way that guy was making you all feel, the trauma he put you and your family through. An empty hole formed inside of you, destructing you painfully slow. The sobs that reeled from you didn’t feel enough. Nothing would feel complete, nothing felt right.

“It’s not your fault, Mum.” Your hand weakly grabbed hers as you looked into her eyes. She simply pulled you into her chest, letting the two of you sob. She knew how broken you were from it because for once, you were genuinely crying sad tears in front of her. “It’s not your fault, don’t cry.”

“I know but you didn’t deserve that. At all. You’re the sweetest girl I know and you got—I can’t even think how traumatic that could’ve been.”

“It is truly such a thing nobody deserves—getting their body taken advantage of without permission. I am extremely sorry you have to receive such pain, Ms L/N. We have offered your daughter counselling. She has rejected it kindly.” Dumbledore continued.

“You rejected it?” your father asked. “I demand you go.”

“Dad, I can’t,” you said, looking back at your father. Talking about it would only make you feel pressured and labelled.

“I don’t care, Y/N. You have to go—”

“Don’t force her. She doesn’t have to go if she doesn’t feel comfortable.” your mother said. “But—you have to, at least for two weeks, okay?”

Your breath hitched in your throat but you nodded. You had to do it for her and maybe, you might be able to cure. You had hope.

“I assure you Madam Pomfrey will take great care of her,” McGonagall told, nodding at your parents with a small smile.

“I hope so, Minerva or else I’ll have to be filing a complaint to take Hogwarts down.” Mrs. Wen started. She was definitely a force not to be reckoned with, she was powerful among the Ministry of Magic. Even in her own house where she demanded what she wanted when she wanted it. You’ve witnessed it yourself.

“Also, the teachers are always here so don’t feel burdened to go tell them what you’re feeling at any time.” Dumbledore told and your family seemed to have taken that bit a bit too seriously.

—

“Severus, I don’t care what you think but you need to be taking extra care for her. My daughter is everything to me.” your mother said.

“You have my word, Mrs L/N. I will watch over her, no doubt.” 

“We’re serious, we’re depending on you for her journey to better mental and physical health—oh, come on, Severus. Look at what that boy did to her, look at her bruises.” your mother pleaded.

You stayed silent like she had told you to be.

“If you are asking me to take special care of her, I, unfortunately, cannot do that for you. She is like any other student to me, I—”

“Please. Give her some lack for a few months and take good care of her. I assure you that’s all she needs.” your father interrupted, his eyes glowing.

Your bloodline ran with Slytherins and above all, your parents and Snape went to school at around the same time. 

Snape looked over at you, his cold eyes unfailingly bringing light into you. They had convinced him.

“Don’t worry about her.”

FLASHBACK ENDED

You roamed the halls with the reminder of those days, your shoulders weighing heavier than a minute ago.

“Hey! Hey! Wait! Wait up! Pretty Slytherin Captain, WOAH—!” A scream rang through the empty hallway. Before you could turn to see who it was, they thudded into you on the left corridor, causing you to almost knock over to the ground. 

“Man, what the—”

You stopped when your eyes met with Hirai Momo’s.

“What do you want?” you asked, putting on your blank face. Momo seemed jumpy, considering your thoughts into if she was drunk or not. There was no scent of alcohol this time so it gave it away. You were wondering what she was doing here instead of being at The Great Hall where she would be with him.

“I just- I just—damn, that was a long run,” she said, puffing out large breaths as she located her hands on her knees.

“Alcohol damages the lungs.” you slipped out smartly but you didn’t expect her to let out a giggle at your words.

“Thank you for that by the way. Sniffing my drink.” Momo stood up fully, something folded in her hands. Her smiled weaved you in like a distraction.

“I didn’t have much of a choice, did I?” you said, shrugging.

“Uh, I don’t really remember, remember?” she laughed, an attempt to reduce the tension in the space between the two of you. 

“Why are you here?” you asked straight away.

“Right!” She passed you the folded parchment but it hung from her grip as you didn’t try to take it from her. You found it a waste of time to be talking to her when you knew exactly what it was. Could he have been dumber than to think you would accept such a thing?

“What is this? An apology letter from Joshua?”

She laughed again. “Oh my God, no! It’s your test paper! You dropped it the other day. Although, an apology letter would be too far.”

You were enlightened, grabbing the parchment at your wrongness. You didn’t expect a Hufflepuff to be so easygoing—but since when did you know? Just now. Thanks to the fact that you never mingled with others in different houses. Even those who opened their hands for you. Like McGonagall.

You never realised how much of a pain-in-the-ass you were until that moment. Momo treated you kindly and you refused to even look into her eyes for a second longer because it made you seem weak. It did not. You were just discriminative of other houses.

“I agree,”

“Honestly, I thought you would be scarier to approach than this. Was everyone lying to me?” Momo asked, her smile brighter than the Sun. The way her eyes crinkled made you think that she was in fact completed of natural beauty. 

“Yeah, well, I need to go tell my team to jump on you for even thinking about talking to me after this. So don’t be surprised when it happens,” you told as you folded the test paper. You slipped in into your Ghoul Studies textbook, silence flying from Momo’s side. You would sort it out later when you go back to your dorms. 

You wondered why and then you realised what you said. She had to have been scared.

“Joking,” you said blankly and then continued walking down the hallway. The girl followed you, laughing. 

“Please. I thought I made the biggest mistake of my life, I was so scared!”

“Yeah, your soul left you.” you agreed without an expression.

“It felt like it…! Hey, I just wanted to apologise—“

“For what?” You looked at her dead in the eyes. She didn’t falter one bit.

“Come on!” she exclaimed, dropping her smile as she stamped her foot charmingly on the tiled floor. “What Joshua did was so not cool! You know, he doesn’t shut up about you in the dorms but he doesn’t even know the inkling details about you?!”

Your stomach felt like it was full of butterflies—something you took seriously. Because when Momo said that, you didn’t feel like yourself. You heated up at the thought of him talking about you a lot. 

“I tried to stop him that day but he was such an idiot and—“

“I know, I saw,” you interrupted her.

“I just hope you know, he’s extremely, super-duper sorry and I’m sorry that I didn’t slap him when he said that. He won’t stop looking at you from a distance and he’s just not himself these days.” Momo stopped at the entrance of The Great Hall, just at the side of the door so no one could see the opposite houses talking to each other. You respected her for doing so.

“Yeah, sure…he can come to me and apologise to me properly and I’ll think about it.” What a liar—you just want to talk to him again. No, I don’t—

Her eyes lit up. “Seriously?!”

“Does it look like I’m joking?”

“No, no! I was just making sure! Oh, thank God. I’ll tell him later tonight if I happen to bump into him, if not, tomorrow! Thanks so much!” Momo opened her arms.

You pursed your lips together. She quickly noticed, pulling her arms back together. “Right, you don’t do hugs. Ah! But thank you, I’ll see you around! Have a good day.”

“You too.”

Momo entered The Great Hall. 

You tilted your head slightly, finding yourself going over the conversation in your head as you leaned against the brick wall. You felt light talking to the girl, she radiated the vibe that you could tell her anything and she wouldn’t judge you for it. You smiled. Maybe you should get to know the other houses and possibly, Joshua too. 

And what the hell is this thing I have for Joshua? I know I am not falling for his ass.

—

He managed to weave into your dreams in the dead of a full moon night. How did your mind let it happen? It felt so calm and this dream soothed your mind into relaxation you never felt around the boy. It felt like the discrimination between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs didn’t even exist. Like you were away from the real world, just the two of you basking each other’s warm presence, fulfilling each other with comfort.

Joshua laid in your lap in a meadow of tall sunflowers, sun rays dawning on you two, too bright to be real. The two of you were sitting on a picnic mat with food set aside, seemingly have eaten already. 

You couldn’t feel anything. No sadness was felt, it was like everything was going right for once in your life. However, there was a slight difference in you. 

Scars...your old scars that used to make you feel disgusting. He took your hand and kissed them. One by one. Slowly. While smiling at you. And then, you shot up in your bed.

“Fuck—” You grabbed at your scalp. Sweat beaded your forehead as you frantically looked around your room, your heart racing from the dream. It felt so real, so real you had to look around to blink back the reality in front of you. The boy had easily milked his way into your dreams—how? How?!

You thrust yourself off your bed, quickly finding your slippers beneath on the dark oak floor.

“Ssh!” one of your roommates said in her sleep. You didn’t mind her, leaving the room immediately. You went down to the luxurious common room your dormitory had to offer. A few students were still awake, not to your surprise, other seventh years. You looked at the time. It was two in the morning.

You nodded in acknowledgement at one of the seventh years prior to leaving the dormitory. It wasn’t permitted, of course. But you didn’t care at this point, things were going too far. It seemed like even when you were trying to console yourself that this wasn’t real, that it wasn’t happening for real, the rush of the possibility of having feelings for Joshua would always beat it. Truth be told, you still had the slight anger for him because of what he had done in the past and that included the chocolate situation from the beginning. You didn’t like how he was so easygoing around you but then again, why did he need to be scared of you? You guys were classmates, he didn’t need to cower in your presence. 

Ahhh! I don’t know! Why am I like this?!

The darkness welcomed you once again as you sauntered the hallways aimlessly. The coldness brought you in like a friend you didn’t like and you started to regret not wearing something to cover you. You were only dressed in a nightdress, silky and soft to the touch.

“Lumos,” you whispered, ignoring the harsh words from the prior-sleeping portraits. Your mind was finally clearing a little.

“L/N? Is that you, young lady?” a cold voice asked. You stopped in your tracks, feeling the hairs on your skin rise. You reached your wand outwards a little, meeting Snape’s face.

Screwed.

“You know the rules. No roaming after hours. Come with me to my office for your detention slip.” he said.

You sighed. “Come on, professor. You know me!”

“Minerva is in the next hall. It’s either you get it from me or receive multiple from her and points off the house.” he whispered,

You didn’t answer back, you just followed him to his office. Detention seemed to be no remedy to your problem, however, a walk to Snape’s office was one because you felt like your head was clearing even more. Maybe you couldn’t come to a conclusion to this cluster of feelings but you were at least feeling like you got fresh air in your lungs.

Even though a detention slip was now in your hands because of your careless actions. 

You sat in front of him, the slightest feeling of dissatisfaction nagging you at the back of the head still. The thought of his lips on your skin kept playing on repeat in your head, an aimed loop to make you fragile.

“What do you think about a Slytherin falling for someone else who isn’t a Slytherin?” you asked suddenly. Silence occupied the space, Snape’s eyes sparkling into yours. His office already felt empty as it was with no fire lit up to warm it up and only moonlight shining inside. You were sitting in nearly utter darkness. “You know what—“

Snape sighed. “I obviously don’t get paid enough for this. How bad are we talking about this crush?”

You gasped. “Crush? No! It’s just— I had a dream that I and he were together and it’s really bothering me. It’s so weird of me telling this to a teacher, right?”

“You have no idea how many confessions I got from Pansy herself this week about her obsession with Malfoy itself. Who is the kid?”

You felt the inkling of curiosity from Snape.

“Joshua Hong...”

You expected no reaction from the teacher but he raised a brow and that in itself was a lot for you. It felt like he was really taking in what you were saying and you knew you were lucky to be on his good side. Though, a teacher is always a teacher. “A Hufflepuff? Hm, work out your own way.”

You weren’t going to get anywhere with this, especially with Snape. He was too closed off for your own good, you rather have a girl-to-girl chat about this with another teacher whom you were comfortable with. Though there doesn’t seem to be a teacher that you could talk about this to. Which is why you got up, letting the chair skid back a little.

“Fine, professor. Have a lovely night.” 

You exited his office with the detention slip in your hand. “Lumos.”

Walking down the hallway, you felt a little heavier. The dream was still fresh on your mind and it messed you up so bad on the inside. Obviously, you were not used to this kind of dream, especially from a Hufflepuff. If the dream was rather about Jun or another Slytherin, the two of you would laugh about it. But the dream had to be about him. His lips, were so plump and soft when they touched your skin. It was like you could feel it. 

Was it just admiration for his beauty? Was a question that remained unanswered. Although having his lips pressed against yours was something you wanted to feel too, did it answer the previous question? 

A figure was walking down the hallway, causing you to shine your wand at the person. You gulped immediately. How was this even possible?! 

You had to be seeing things! 

Seeing him as a hallucination could also prove to be just as bad. But you didn’t want to believe it.

Joshua jumped back. “I’m only here to see Professor Sprout! I came here with permission!”

“Why the hell are you up so late?” you asked

Joshua was shocked least to say that you were standing there in front of him. You were too, you were also better at hiding it. He paused for a second, gawking into your eyes. Dressed in simple striped blue pyjamas, his black hair slightly tousled, you were brought back to your dream. His divinely heavenly smile, the way the sun sparkled in his eyes, how you looked at him like he was the entire world—

He avoided eye contact as you welcomed his sincerity through. Joshua was just a package of sincerity in himself. He was not one ounce of bad blood but you treated him like he was.

“I had to deliver a complaint from a student…” he explained quietly.

“This can’t be a coincidence.” you pressed on. You didn’t mean anything bad when you said that, you were rather talking to yourself because of the dream you just had. His lips looked just like they did in the dream.

“Oh, come on, L/N. I’m not stalking you, okay, I just—“ You acted out of instinct, suddenly cornering him against the wall. You forced your eyes to look at his pretty face, letting the butterflies come in and settle in your stomach. There was no way you had him cornered against the wall right now but you had to see this for sure. 

“it seriously can’t…this really can’t be.”

Joshua was red under the grip of your wand as he looked to the side. It was like you were contradicting what you said earlier about him touching you. But you could tell Joshua Hong liked it from the redness of his face and his completely relaxed figure against the wall. So you continued.

You pushed a knee beside his left thigh, locking him in place.

“I’m not—“ 

“Be quiet,” you whispered, drawing his face closer with one hand, examining it in full detail. Whether this was a hallucination or not, you only started accepting the fact that this boy was actually pretty. Your heart was speeding just looking at his face. You forgot about the problems you had with him as your eyes followed his nose, lips, hair and back to his eyes, all defined and sculpted by the heavens to fit him. If someone had told you he was an angel from heaven, you wouldn’t question it one bit.

Finally getting a hold of yourself within the lost maze, you threw his face to the side, your fingers slightly piercing his cheeks. You moved off of him. 

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows at you. “What was that about—“

“Your mum.” You left.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: u got to the end!!!

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Can’t get you out of my head.

Joshua one shot

Pairing: Joshua Hong x Female reader

Genre: hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.2K

Author’s Note: After I watched one tweet (i added the link below, you can check it out), it just gave me idea to write, I just wanted to write, although I don’t know how it turned out, hope it didn’t turn out bad. I tried, to write something also the way Joshua was singing this part >>>>

Happy reading :)

Once, the concert was over, I saw everyone leaving. They left, Joshua left as well. They already went to the backstage. I was watching everyone leave one by one, after the venue was almost empty, I got up from my seat and started walking.

“Ity, Joshua invited us to the backstage, let’s go” Brendon told me, I shook my head. Our friends knew about us and they knew how I avoid everything related to him. “I don’t think I should go, he might get upset.” I told him, “Ity, you will be meeting him after eight years, do you really want to miss this chance? It’s been more than eight years” I wanted to say no, I wanted to tell Brendon that no I don’t want to miss this chance because I really want to meet him. but even before I could reply him anything, Daisy held my hand and started walking, I couldn’t even protest. I just found myself walking wherever my friends were going specially Daisy, since she was holding my wrist.

There were two ways, one led to exit another was for backstage. I looked to the way that led to the backstage and sighed. It reminded me of the way Joshua and I had an eye contact when he was singing ‘2 minus 1’ I was looking at him and when walked to the other side of the stage while singing, my eyes couldn’t leave him. I wondered did he notice me, because I saw his eyes softened a bit when he saw me then again, he left that place and started singing with Vernon and the way he sang his lines

“I can’t get out of my head, yeah!

Gotta get you out of my head, yeah

how can you be so fine when I’m I’m I’m”

I could never forget the expression and the look on his face. I could never. Somewhere it felt like he was telling me he was fine, while singing the song and then as if he told me I must be fine but he couldn't get me out of his hand and as if telling me he never thought I would be this fine after we broke up. I saw him after almost eight years, after distancing myself from his world. All these years I wanted to stop myself thinking about him but how could I erase and forget a person who was supposedly my first love and gave me my best memories, I don’t cry anymore like I used to do, I stopped crying over him but the longing feelings which I always had, it was always inside me. Even today when I saw him on stage, I realized how I was always on denial and I actually missed him more than anything. How could I not when he was my youth, when he left me at 18, broke up with me, I broke into pieces. All the trust I had ever put in a guy, Joshua took away everything, I gave all of me to him and he left me there.

Alone.

After few months when I got to know he left LA, I was broken mess.

And I was insane when I got the front tickets for today’s concert. I don’t know why I impulsively did it back then when the tickets were on sale but I brought the tickets. After I brought the ticket, I got to know my highschool friends were going as well. I told Brendon, I got my ticket and he suggested that it would be nice if we could go and come back together. I agreed to it. After the concert ended, Brendon texted me to wait where I was and he would come and we could go meet Joshua in backstage. And here I am walking towards the backstage, I have no idea how would he react to see me. I wanted to tell myself to stay calm but my heart was beating insane. He came back to LA after three years, last time when he came, it was for Seventeen’s concert.

“Ity, trust me, you would feel better after you meet him” I heard Brendon say this to me, I tried smiling but then I heard a voice, “hey guys” and I froze. Daisy let go of my wrist.

“Hey Josh” I heard Brandon say, I saw him walking towards him and hugging him tight. I saw him walking towards me and Daisy, he was smiling. The moment his eyes met mine, I felt he wanted to say something. Those innocent and pure eyes, which I can never forget because I always saw my whole universe in his eyes. “Did you guys enjoy?” we all nodded, the fact this was my first time meeting him in these eight years and I was trying to be okay. He smiled so big, his cute little eyes, making me fall in love again, I wanted to tell him I missed him.

“this was Ity’s first time” Brandon said and Joshus nodded, and scratched the back of his neck. “also can I click pictures with your members?” he nodded.

“Of course, you can, they are just inside that room, go on” Brandon and Daisy started walking. I was left there with Joshua, we were alone. I thought he would leave with them but he didn’t rather he took a step towards me.

“Hope you’re doing fine” I managed to look into his eyes, when he said that. “hmm” I wanted to deny it, tell him, nothing is same after you left, I completed my studies and now I am working but look at me still longing for your hugs, your kisses, your embrace, and your love.

“you looked happy”, I told him and tried to smile. I was stopping myself from crying, because I saw my ex after eight years. And all the memories flashed infront of me, as if I was watching a replay of our moments and then it stopped when we broke up, the way he broke up and left.

Unknowingly I was stepping back, and soon I felt my back touching the wall, I saw him taking steps towards me, “Ity” the way he called my name, was making me weak and telling me to cry.

“Shua, no” as if I knew what was he going to tell me next, he was going to break me again. even after all these years, I still couldn’t stop loving him, he was always there with me.

“I… I…” he looked hesitant “I regret leaving you.”

“Shua stop, you can’t do this. not after eight years” I was trying to hold back my tears but my voice was already trembling, this was the thing I wanted to avoid. After we broke up, we avoided eachother, but I always wanted to know what was the reason he left me here, what was the problem? Was I the problem? I hated to admit it but I knew I would break down in front of him once he calls my name. there was still a soft spot for him in my heart and I knew somewhere I still loved him and couldn’t love anyone else till now.

“When I looked at you while performing, that moment I got my confirmation, I regretted leaving you. And I wanted to tell you the truth, all these years I kept on thinking about you, and couldn’t stop myself from thinking about you. At times when I couldn’t get you out of my head, I asked my friends how you’re doing, they said you’re living well, and you’re fine. You smile, you laugh, you enjoy your life. I wanted to tell you, I was hurt and I love what I do but…” don’t do this to me Joshua Hong, please don’t. I will break again and won’t be able to let go of you.

“All this success is nothing if you’re not here to share with me” he stepped closer, “I can’t do this anymore, I want to share everything with you Ity” tears already started falling, how much I tried to stop. How much courage I gathered up so that I could face him today but everything felt like it crumbled down.

“Ity” again he called my name. He held my shoulders and made me look at him, his eyes reminded me of how he broke up with me that day.

“Ity let’s stop it here, I can’t do this anymore. You and me, we shouldn’t date. We should stop here.” and he walked away.

I cried more, his grip tightened, on my shoulders and then pulled me into his embrace. I wanted to hold him tight and cry more, I wanted to tell him I missed him more, he can never imagine how much I missed him ever since that day, that moment. I felt my shoulder getting wet, he was crying. I heard him sobbing. I wanted to comfort him and tell him, stop crying I can’t see him cry and wanted to tell him, why was he doing this to me after all these years when he was living fine without me.

“Ity… please tell me” his voice was painful, I wanted to wipe his tears because they were hurting me.

I had this one feeling inside me right now and that was, to tell him because I don’t know when I would be able to tell him this and what if I could never tell him and meet him again. there won’t be another chance to say like this, I always regretted whenever he came and left LA, and now when I have the chance, I should tell him. All these years I spent without him, stayed in denial but now I wanted to tell him, one word from him and I broke, I don’t want to let go of this chance; so I hugged him back tight. I don’t know when I will get to hug him tight like this, so I followed my heart.

“Shua, I missed you. I wanted you back, nothing was same after you left. I graduated and I have a job, I earn but nothing is same without you. Your shirts are still hanging in my closets, I still kept them because they have your scent. I couldn’t let you go even after you left me.” he pulled himself back and looked at me. he was crying, so bad. It was hurting to see his tears, they made me cry more.

“Sorry for leaving you, all these years I wanted to tell you this, I wanted to apologize to you, I thought you would be better without me, because I was leaving for Korea for my career, and I wasn’t sure if I could be with you, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to keep you happy like the way you keep me happy always. Being with you kept me happy” his words were sincere; I could tell that and his tears were falling.

“Joshua, please stop crying” my hands reached his face and he held my hand. “I’m so sorry for hurting you Ity and for leaving you.” I was nodding, trying to tell him I understand him, the way I thought I would get hurt after I see him, everything went away, I was healing because of him, I felt better after I saw him today, I was feeling something I couldn’t explain right now, I just knew my Joshua Hong is back, he was here with me, standing infront of him. I always the worst scenarios in my head, that he would push me away and will tell me why he left me and hurt me but none of those things happened.

His hands were on my cheeks, “Ity…. I always loved you, I was so unsure about myself that I could keep you happy and I wanted a career, but back at that time it felt so unsure.” my tears were falling more, “I love you Shua, you were my first love and you’re still the one I love.” I tried smiling but I failed so badly and broke down again.

“Ity, please come back to me. Please give us a chance” he was looking at me and wiping my tears. “Shua” I paused, I couldn’t speak because of how much I was crying.

“Please come back to me, please let’s go back to us. Just us, you and me together. Please Ity, please be my Ity again” I nodded without thinking much, “Ity” he called my name and next thing I knew his soft lips on mine. His fingers were caressing my cheeks, our tears were making our lips wet, it was a longing kiss. His another hand was resting on my waist. He pulled back and looked at me, “we are us again, I love you so much Ity.”

“I love you Joshua” he wiped my tears with his thumb, “thankyou for giving us a second chance” and he kissed me again.

Love and religion fought. We lost.

PROMPT. “we tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost.”

PAIRING. Joshua x female reader

GENRE. angst

WARNINGS. Mention of blood, mcd, different religions, gun

WORD COUNT. 2.6K

AUTHOR’S NOTE. Finally I am here with this fic, I battled so much before posting, I don't want to offend any religion and I know it's a sensitive topic but I wanted to write it so bad. And since I decided to write angst for 13 members long ago, here's the first one. And angst being my favorite genre till now I tried doing justice to the fic, and since it's a bit of desi setting, it's a win for desi readers. Hope you like it. And I would be tagging people/readers who commented in that post earlier hehe ^^

Happy reading :)

TAG. @thepoopdokyeomtouched @aestheticfangirl @scarlet789 @nobraincellmode @woofie-nctzen-fanarts

Seventeen as angst trope

“You’re looking so pretty” I looked around, and saw my family members coming towards me and applying haldi on me, I looked at myself and saw myself wearing a yellow sharara, I saw my sister coming towards me and hugging me tight. “Hope you stay happy always like this, even after marriage” and somewhere my emotions were lost the moment someone told me this, I couldn't even recognize the voice at that point.

“Shua, I want to wear different outfits for all the ceremonies but too sad, you won’t be able to see me.” I smiled at him and he just laughed and pulled me closer in his embrace, “But you’re going to be my wife, so I would get a lifetime to watch you wear your favorite clothes” and he pinched my nose playfully. “I want to get married twice, one in all the traditions we follow and another one in your way. I don’t want to miss out on wearing a white gown and kissing you infront of everyone.”

“I’ll fulfill all your wishes, my love.”“I love you so much, Joshua”

“I love you too meri jaan” and he smiled at me once again, his smile was something that healed me every time.

“You look pretty Mishka, he is so lucky” and my mom kissed my forehead, I tried to look at her but somewhere I just couldn’t look at her at all, not after all this.

Everyone looked so happy and seemed like they were enjoying it every second, I tried to smile at them but I failed terribly. There was something wrong with me because I couldn’t express my emotions anymore. I failed to show them how I felt, as if my mind wanted to show them but my heart refused to do anything. It was the sign I lost, we lost.

“I would be the in-charge of the decorations, I want everything to be golden.”“You surely love the golden colour a lot Mishka” and he laughed and it was melody to my ears, “Yes I do and I love one more thing” he looked at me confused, “You” and I kissed him.

“You just know how to steal kisses.” And he pulled me closer by my neck and kissed me again. Every time I kissed him, I kissed him like it was my last kiss and I loved the feeling so much. I want to kiss him till the time I can’t kiss him anymore and I want to remember how he felt.

“Joshua”

“Yes, love”

“Do…you think…”“Think?” he was looking at me and I was feeling nervous, I wanted to say it loud, but he suddenly cupped my face. “What’s wrong?”

“I should tell them about us, it’s been eight years… already” “Mishka” he kissed me again and then looked at me, “if you want to tell your parents about us, you can. I’ll be there with you. We will go and talk to them, they will accept us.”

“Mishka, your mehendi looks so pretty” I turned to look at the person doing my mehendi, and here I wanted to put his initials. “And it’s done” The moment I looked at my hand, I saw the way my hand had someone else’s name’s initial, a stranger whom I don’t even know. I wanted to run away, but two things stopped me, Joshua’s thoughts and then my own family’s reputation. If I wanted, I could’ve taken a step and ran away already, but Joshua’s thoughts stopped me from doing anything.

It was raining and I ran outside, “Mishka, stop” I wanted to dance in the rain. “You’ll fall sick Mishka” For once I didn’t want to listen to his words, he always tells me I will fall sick but then he is the one who takes care of me so falling sick is worth it since he’s with me.

He suddenly came and picked me up, “Shua, oh god”

“I love you so much Mishka, I can’t explain. I want to marry you as soon as possible and want to make you mine officially.” I smiled at him, he had never confessed to me like this directly, and for marriage. He puts me down and looks at me, “Mishka, do you want to marry me?” I smiled at him, “And what makes you think that asking me like this would change my answer?” he looked nervous, “If I don’t marry you then I don’t know what will happen” “And I can never see you being someone else’s, so if you don’t marry me, I will die.”

“And I will never let that happen” and I kissed him. Losing him was never an option for me. He was my everything, he found me when I was left in the dark, and he was there for me when I was alone. And if I don’t get to be with the person I love the most, I have no idea what will I do ever in my life.

I parted and looked at him, “So will you marry me?” I nodded, “Yes, Joshua, I would be ruining my life if I said no to you” and he kissed me again under the rain.

I looked at myself, wearing the red lehenga, and I didn’t know how to respond to any of the fact, that I was getting married and my thoughts were interrupted, “Di, someone came to see you-”

“Mishi”

I turned to look at Joshua, Mishti was standing near the door and then there was Joshua beside her, “I would be leaving di, just know I am here for you.”

He walked towards me and hugged me tight, “Mishka, I can’t” I wanted to hug him tight, but my hands refused to move, no matter how much I wanted to hold him tight and cry in his embrace, he was home for me. He parted and cupped my face, “Mishka, let’s go. Let’s leave this place”

“Mishi, this is not what we want, it’s against our wish, let’s go. You’re not happy, I know it Mishka. I will take you somewhere you don’t have to suffer alone.”

“Joshua…”

“What happened Mishka? I am here for you, just for you. Let’s go, I know we can’t end like this.”

“Joshua, jo hona tha woh ho gaya, ab kuch nehi kar sakte hain, mere haatho me zanjeeren hai, koi reha nehi kar sakta aur.” (Joshua, we can’t do anything now, it’s all done, I am tied with shackles in my hand, and no one can free me anymore)

“Mishka, was it a lie?” and I had no answer, I couldn’t tell him directly, that, they told me they would kill him, if I went back to him.

“Maa, please listen to me once. Maa please” I was banging on the door but no one was listening to me, I wanted to run away. I want to run away from here and never come back. My tears were falling like no tomorrow.

“Mishka one more word and you know what can your dad do.”

“Maa, no. You won’t do anything. YOU CAN’T DO THIS!! Maa!!” I was banging on the door and then heard her unlock the door. The moment I saw her face, I started crying more, I wiped my tears and the moment I was about to say something hoping she would give me a chance to speak but she slapped me hard. She locked the door and dragged me towards my bed and pushed me there.

“One more word and Mishka-

Enough was enough, how could she do this to her own daughter?

“What was his fault? What was my fault? We just fell in love”

“Mishka you better- I wanted to scream, but the moment our eyes met, she shouted “Do you not know your dad? Do you not know what are the things that means a lot to your dad? And fault? We let you study outside and you do this to us?” “What did I do maa?” I walked towards her, my tears didn’t want to stop, they refused to listen to me for the first time. “If falling in love is a crime then yes, I did it. I DID IT” and another slap, “you are going nowhere and you are breaking up with him. You will leave him and get married to the guy we choose for you, who is right for you.” She was about to leave, but then turned back to look at me, “You don’t remember your limits? He’s a guy from a different religion and we are never saying yes to that. We can’t allow you, and remember society and reputation are everything for us.”

“Maa-” “Give up Mishka, I am against it. And don’t even think about running away, because I’m warning you again, your dad can go to any limits to separate you from him.” and that’s when I understood she wasn’t even joking, they can kill him, kill us anytime they want.

“We can’t Joshua” And I never told him the exact reason, because knowing him, he would not even regret telling me, he wanted to be together with me, didn’t matter if he stayed or died.

“We still have time, if you want we can run away right now and no one will get to know, we will go somewhere far” I took a deep breath and shook my head, clearly knowing what is going to be the consequence if I take this step, they will hunt me down and kill all of us.

“Joshua, we can’t”

“Joshua, we can’t be together, please move on from me.”

“Mishka-”

“Joshua.”

“Mis-”

“Joshua, we can’t, they will kill us. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING.” And that was the moment, I couldn’t hold back anything, if I knew I was going to be a coward for all my life then I wouldn’t have started any of this at all. I can’t even be happy with the person I love.

“And I had to choose, to see you getting killed or give up on us. And I choose you to be happy, happy without me.”

“Uss din se hamare saari bitaye lamhein, uss yaadon ke kamre me band ho gai” (that day all moments we spent together got locked in the room of our memories)

The moment he walked away from that room, I felt my heart shattering each second and into millions of pieces. I was the one who chose this for myself, letting go of the person whom I loved the most, even more than my own life. My choices in life were the ones which made me suffer the most but falling in love with him was never a choice, it was like fate and a string that was pulling me towards him and I went on with it.

I looked towards the door, from where he left, and saw Mishti coming inside, “Di, it’s time to go. Everyone’s waiting for you.” I took a deep breath and she hugged me tight, “Di, I hope he will understand” I hugged her tight, if only I could tell this to myself, but marriage? It’s the bond that holds two people together and there’s no turning back from the promises that would be made. “He can’t and so do I. I can’t make myself understand anything Mishti. I am hurting the person whom I love the most and it’s hurting me more.”

From there I don’t even remember how I walked down the aisle and I was already sitting beside the person with whom I was getting married, my face had no emotion. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone else. “Mishka, bring your hand forward” I was trying to focus on whatever was going on, but my body wasn’t responding to any of the words; I barely heard what maa said. I didn’t want to bring my hand forward, if I brought my hand and kept my hand on his, it would bind us forever in this sacred bond. “Mishka” Once more I hear her saying my name.

“Mishka” the moment I heard my name again but this was a different voice, I looked straight. I thought my eyes were deceiving me but I saw him walking towards me “You look so pretty Mishka, I always imagined you wearing this bridal lehenga, and look at you, you look so pretty but one thing I never imagined was, you wearing this and getting married to someone else.” and I couldn’t process anything, “you look so lovely Mishka, it feels like one of my dreams came true, partially I am so happy I got to see you in this.” I never interrupted him, but his voice was getting shaky, something which never happened to him, “Your parents came to visit me, they told me, they would never say yes and in the end, you chose them” “I am asking you for the one last time” and I could see the desperation on his face, “Take my hand and let’s runaway. I can’t see you getting married to someone else” he stopped, not very close to me and not very far from me.

There was silence, I almost couldn’t say anything, I wanted to say yes so badly but my whole family was holding me back, all the moments we spent together were flashing in front of me. I took a deep breath and was about to speak “Josh-”

“Looks like your silence and hesitation gave me the answer. Mishka, I love you so much that I can never explain in words, but one thing I can never do is, tumko kisi aur ka hote dekhna, I can never do that. I meant everything I told you that day.” He took out a gun and pointed at himself, and my reflexive action was to stand and run towards him, “Love and religion fought. We lost. We tried we tried so much, but in the end we lost. I will love you forever” And he shot himself, even before I could reach him, and his lifeless body was lying infront of me. I fell on my knees, I was holding his body, I tried shaking him, but there was no response, I wanted to hold his hand. The blood painted him and painted me red, I couldn’t see anything anymore. “Joshua, Joshua please wake up” I was shaking his body, I couldn’t do anything anymore, “Joshua, please wake up, let’s go”

I felt people coming towards me, all the emotions I was holding back, my tears came out and I was crying, I couldn’t stop.

“Mishka” and it was my mom, she was trying to pull me by my arm, but this time I pulled my arm back. I was holding Joshua’s hand and looked at her. “Dekh liya kya kar diya, khushi mil gai aap logo ko,” my mind wasn’t working anymore, “Losing yourself is better than losing the person you love and I saw the love of my life killing himself infront of me do you think I am in my right mind right now.” I grabbed the gun, “Mishka leave that”

“Mishka drop the gun”

“Mishka, don’t”

But all I could hear was his voice, his last words telling me he loved me. My ears were hearing his voice, my eyes never moved from his body. The fact, that the golden kurta he was wearing was now painted in red. I was going feral with each passing second, I was dying each second. I closed my eyes for a second and looked at my maa papa. I saw someone dragging Mishti away from me, I loved her but I loved him as well, he is alone, and he has no one here right now. I couldn’t leave him alone like this when he never left me.

“Ab iske baad jo bhi hoga uske jimmedaar baas aap dono honge, baas aap dono” (and whatever happens after this, two of you are going to be the reason, just you two) I was pointing the gun towards them and I could hear all the screaming and shouting but everything slowed down and in a fraction of a second I pointed the gun at myself and I pulled the trigger.

A list of things that we, the kpop community, aren’t about to do in 2018

It’s 2018 and it’s time that us “kpoppers” take a chill pill so here’s what we ain’t gonna do in 2018. I know some of this might seem rude but it needed to be said. Sorry for the occasional vulgar language though.

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Seungkwan: Sometimes I wish you could block people in real life.

Joshua: Restraining order.

Junhui: Murder.

Sometimes you just need to darumdarimda your way through life.

Life is suddenly kimbap-i-kidding hard.

Imagine you’re studying French and you’ve been at it for hours, trying to get the pronunciation right, practicing grammar, etc. boyfriend!Josh has been pleading you to stop and lay down with him on his day off but you have a test and you really want that A+. So you keep at it, “Apple is pomme, Man is homme, child is enfant...” you practiced. “and kiss is....” Josh said as he kissed you deeply. Of course you let him for a bit melting into it but after awhile you hit him gently. “What the hell Josh...” you said chuckling, “what isn’t that what they would call a “French kiss?”” He said. You couldn’t stay mad at him not even for a second.

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