"You Suffered. I'm Sorry."

"You suffered. I'm sorry."

carry me to tomorrow / / xavier , zayne , & rafayel . . .

loving him can feel like a multitude of things

a/n: having severe brainrot over these men, smb save me. rlly random but i got a 96 on my physics test everybody clap!! (can you tell who my favorite is)

loving XAVIER feels like waking up at dawn and watching the sun and moon up in the sky at the same time. with you looking at the view with heavy eyes as the shades of blue and black fade to warm tones of orange and yellow, exchanging greetings with the moon. you're reminded of the sun as you stare at his peaceful face, his grey-blonde hair messy, making his skin look even softer. with a content sigh, you crawl back into his embrace and he welcomes you with a hum.

loving XAVIER feels like staring at the clouds and getting carried away by your daydreams. even when the both of you are on missions, you can't seem to take your eyes off of him (whether it's for romantic reasons or skeptical reasons - your choice). just as the clouds hide the blue sky, it feels like he hides himself as well, choosing instead to appear as a dull blob. you've asked XAVIER about himself more times than you can count, and yet he still chooses to stay quiet. you've nothing but your imagination at this rate. however, both of you know that one day the clouds will fade, revealing the deep, rich, and true colors hidden away. time will tell.

finally, loving XAVIER feels like spring. like the fresh grass and the fresh rain, like the blooming flowers and the bright rays. spring is a new beginning, for the earth and people alike. with XAVIER, everything and nothing feels new. you feel like you've done this with him a thousand times before, and yet you're pleasantly surprised each time. as the song birds celebrate the arrival of spring, you and XAVIER lie in the grass. nothing is exchanged between the two of you - just your time. with each passing second, your eyes begin to close again. and just as your vision was fading, you heard soft snores and mumbles of your name.

loving ZAYNE feels like going home at dusk, wondering what he's up to. the day ends with orange and red hues up in the sky, the moon readying itself for nightfall. you know he has a tendency to get caught up in work too often than not. and you wonder if you're overstepping your boundaries once you're at the doorstep of his office. what you didn't know was that even through the long and boring days at the hospital, he debated with himself on whether or not to call you. loving ZAYNE feels like moments when the sun paints everything in orange, gold hues - short, but sweet moments worth remembering.

loving ZAYNE feels like trying to navigate through the fog. fog feels uncertain, the chill sending goosebumps down your arm. the mist feels as though it's coercing you to join it away from the safety of your car. and in times like these you're reminded of how ZAYNE's morning coffee fogs his reading glasses. the same way you chuckle before taking them off of him and wiping them. you don't notice, but the black haired man now looks at you fondly - the steam from his coffee now subsided.

finally, loving ZAYNE feels like the transition from autumn to winter. the days of colorful leaves and cool wind over with. the beginning of winter marks its arrival through the fragile and stiff trees, the wind blowing through them as though they miss the kisses they'd share with the leaves. the days are getting shorter and the nights are longer. although the beginning of winter signifies hibernation and hiding, you can't help but love it. nights with ZAYNE are spent in bed cuddled in blankets and pillows as you both read books together. you never really cared for the books but rather the man that is clinging to you in a fashion he would never reveal in public. you had no problem with it. you'd love him in private and in public, through the winter storm and the chilly mornings. and just as your vision was fading, you felt a sigh against your skin and hands tucking you in, getting you ready for your dreams.

loving RAFAYEL feels like midnight escapades, brought on by midnight phone calls. the night is pitch black, save for the few street lights on your way from your apartment to his studio and the glowing moon. it's a vulnerable hour, crickets chirping and the white noise of the few cars going down streets the only music of the night. but as soon as you're met with his cheeky smile, you seem to forget the eeriness. your dazed nods as he goes on to rant about his problem or his painting - whichever one it was. it was only when you yawned when he invited you to rest in his too-big-of-a-bed. you had no idea if that was his intention or not, but any intelligible thoughts were hushed as the lights dimmed and the mattress below you dipped from the added weight.

loving RAFAYEL feels like the dew that paints the grass in the late nights and early mornings. you observe from the cover of his patio as he sinks his feet into the grass, seemingly in deep thought about something. you supposed it was his creative process, however odd it may be. the sun is almost blinding as it rises again and tiny rainbows form as if to say hello. he was still rooted in place. you think he invites you over, however you were distracted. the moisture of the air reminds you of how with RAFAYEL moments are quiet, just like how the grass quietly embraces the oncoming dew - an old friend.

finally, loving RAFAYEL feels like summer. like the hot atmosphere and the ice-cream melting on your tongue and fingers. like the never ending sky and the vibrant butterflies flapping their wings. loving RAFAYEL feels like the vigor the waves have for the sand under the hot gaze of the sun. and yet, you can never get a second of peace with all of his exhibitions gaining popularity. loving RAFAYEL means that summer nights is all you can afford to yourselves, the rush of the day still struggling to fade away. sitting on the sand, the white noise of the waves crashing over the earth lull you in a trance. and just as your vision was fading you saw dusky purple hair and violet amber eyes come closer, the feeling of lips against your temple sending you off.

⋆｡°✩ . 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 —

this is a blog dedicated to writing. i strictly only currently write for genshin impact, honkai star rail, and love & deepspace. this will change over time with my change in comfortability in writing for other fandoms, but for now it is only these three!!

i now take writing requests!! send a request and i'll see if i can fulfill it <3

⋆｡°✩ . 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 —

i will only be writing sfw, as i am a minor. however, i will occasionally write suggestive themes, but will not go farther then that. i also only write for female and gender neutral reader (afab), but mostly female reader since i am afab myself.

do not request any nsfw prompts, only suggestive at best. if i don't like your request, i simply won't answer it!!!

stuff you can request:

headcanons (up to 6 chars)

oneshots (1 main char)

matchups!! (1 main char)

scenarios (up to 4 chars)

thank you for reading until the end of this post, hope to see you again!

golden child , lion boy , tell me what it's like to conquer / / jing yuan . . .

as his wife, you have the right to dream of other possibilities, right?

warnings: married!jing yuan and reader, f!reader, use of pet names (love), no y/n, spoilers for the luofu storyline, jealousy, suggestive themes, lowercase intended

w/c: 635 words

a/n: double upload!?!?! cant help it i love this man so much lord help me, art cred: mugenoumi on twt

"you seem to be enjoying your time with those finches."

soft clicks of shoes stepping on the wooden floor reach the general's ears, and as well as the birds he was currently devoting his attention to. jing yuan knew better than to frustrate his wife, however he can't won't seem stop making that pout appear.

"and you know better than to be jealous of some innocent birds, love." the resonant voice of his leaves faint echoes in the chamber. he hums happily as your hands snake around his waist, your face buried in his back. "not m' fault- i missed you," your muffled voice tickles his back, earning you a chuckle.

he gently releases the birds, much to your pleasure. "there. they're gone now, but you ought to open your heart to them. they're excellent companions."

"better companions than me?" you prod with an eyebrow raised. he turns around to face you, and now you can finally see your husband's infuriatingly handsome portrait once more. hundreds of years have passed since your union with jing yuan, and yet he still leaves you breathless each time.

long locks of golden white hair frame his head, stray strands everywhere. it's a common sight for your eyes these days, the ten-lords commission giving your husband more work to do these days, especially after the incident with phantilya. noticing your internal worry, he cradles you in his arms.

"now, now. would i have stuck with you for this long if i'd found better a companion? you think too much, love."

"and you think too little." you buried your face yet again in the crook of his neck. it was times like these when you wished you and your husband were not such important figures to the xianzhou, daydreams of you and jing yuan living a simple life away from here plague your mind almost every day.

"some people think me a fool, reduced down from a feared general to a lazy idiot who can't seem to pick up a pen for the life of him."

"and what do you say to that?"

he grins down at you, the outer corners of his eyes wrinkling with his breathy laugh. "i agree with them. however, there's one thing they do have wrong."

this piques your interest, lifting your head up to make eye contact with him. you tilt your head to the side, encouraging him to continue. "well?"

with sudden enthusiasm, he picks you up and spins you around, your back now hitting the cool concrete of some wall in the room. however, you don't have time to think about what had just happened, as he stole your lips and your breath in that same second.

his lips moved against yours with passion, arms coiling around you in a tight grip. kisses with jing yuan were usually slow and sensual, nothing like the show he's putting on for you right now. you swear you could feel your lips go numb, both of you breathing into each other like you'd never breathe again.

he finally pulls away, a thin strand of saliva connecting you both still. he sighs deeply with a smile on his face. "i've already conquered a feat very few people have before. your love and loyalty to me."

you giggle at the mushy confession. general or not, he'd still be your loving husband. "you can never not have the last word, can you?"

"no ma'am." and he pulls you in again, this time going back to his usual kisses. slow, sensual, and sultry.

a few moments later, something soft and bushy made contact with your leg. your husband's hair was certainly not that long, and you know for a fact you don't have a carpet this fluffy in this room...

"jing, i think mimi wants your attention as well."

I remember your danganronpa works, I used to read them all the time lol. How are you doing now?

bro my dgr works... horrendous. dark dark times omg...

i'm doing alright, js busy w school work and my personal life. chem and physics are eating me uppp 😭😭 thank you for asking tho!!

hi i saw that u put ur uids in ur bio so i requested u on genshin and hsr, if thats okay! i wanna make more friends on both games

but on a side note, who do u main? and is it okay if i can be one of ur anons? preferably 🌸 anon!

ofc!! i gotta make a dedicated list for tags now, thanks for being my first! i don't really play genshin anymore though sadly </3 i'll log in to friend you though!

i main jingliu on hsr (i love her she's done nothing wrong...) and i main like idk miko, raiden, yelan and alhaitham on my genshin acc. i cant choose between them LMFAOOO (i have a soft spot for yelan and miko tho, literally went crazy when they got released). but it's been so long since i've played genshin i gotta log back in chiori is so prettyyy

side note this blog is mona themed but i dont even have her... shhh