"You Suffered. I'm Sorry."

"You suffered. I'm sorry."

⋆｡°✩ . SUMMARY —

“how much did you drink?” he stood still, soaking in your presence. finally. his breath hitched in his throat at some point, the pattering rain behind him as a soft ambiance. how many years had it been again? no, no, it couldn’t have been too long… or has it? do you still remember all those days? the days you spent doing nothing together? do wrinkles still crack around your eyes when you smile? did you move on? he couldn’t help the dazed smile spreading across his lips, “a… a few sips.” the next thing he remembered was an uncomfortable reunion with your apartment floor.

or, in which: you and kaeya reunite under tense circumstances during your high school reunion. why? maybe because somebody had left you for good the night you both had gotten accepted into the same university, leaving you with your unreciprocated feelings. or so you had thought. nothing personal though, right?

⋆｡°✩ . MASTER LIST —

ch. 00 / / homesick 　　ch. 01 / / pink horizon ch. 02 / / sunburn　　ch. 03 / / seasons ch. 04 / / summer flows 　　ch. 05 / / calla ch. 06 / / dried flower 　　ch. 07 / / sunny days ch. 08 / / novelle vague 　　ch. 09 / / so real ch. 010 / / peach eyes 　　ch. 011 / / love. ch. 012 / / evening glow　　ch. 013 / / redamancy　　　　　　ch. 014 / / ocean floor

⋆｡°✩ . AUTHOR'S NOTE —

this is my first fledged out fic, featuring none other than the loml kaeya alberich <3 idk why i decided i wanted to be ambitious, considering the amount of drafts in my docs rn, but i'm treating this as my journey. some characters may seem ooc since it's been so long since i've played genshin. yes, the chapter names are just w2e songs, i was lazy </3 this fic is inspired by welcome to samdal-ri, 20th century girl, our beloved summer, and business proposal !!

if you don't want to read it on tumblr, you can also read it at ao3 here

Hi regarding your reblog, maybe a fic where you, Kafka, and Blade were supposed to be on a mission together but then Kafka had to get transferred to another one so it was just you and Blade left?

Sorry lol had this idea but I can't write

wait. you might be onto something... hold on.. i love forced proximity fics omg i might js cop this idea TY ANON!

carry me to tomorrow / / xavier , zayne , & rafayel . . .

loving him can feel like a multitude of things

a/n: having severe brainrot over these men, smb save me. rlly random but i got a 96 on my physics test everybody clap!! (can you tell who my favorite is)

loving XAVIER feels like waking up at dawn and watching the sun and moon up in the sky at the same time. with you looking at the view with heavy eyes as the shades of blue and black fade to warm tones of orange and yellow, exchanging greetings with the moon. you're reminded of the sun as you stare at his peaceful face, his grey-blonde hair messy, making his skin look even softer. with a content sigh, you crawl back into his embrace and he welcomes you with a hum.

loving XAVIER feels like staring at the clouds and getting carried away by your daydreams. even when the both of you are on missions, you can't seem to take your eyes off of him (whether it's for romantic reasons or skeptical reasons - your choice). just as the clouds hide the blue sky, it feels like he hides himself as well, choosing instead to appear as a dull blob. you've asked XAVIER about himself more times than you can count, and yet he still chooses to stay quiet. you've nothing but your imagination at this rate. however, both of you know that one day the clouds will fade, revealing the deep, rich, and true colors hidden away. time will tell.

finally, loving XAVIER feels like spring. like the fresh grass and the fresh rain, like the blooming flowers and the bright rays. spring is a new beginning, for the earth and people alike. with XAVIER, everything and nothing feels new. you feel like you've done this with him a thousand times before, and yet you're pleasantly surprised each time. as the song birds celebrate the arrival of spring, you and XAVIER lie in the grass. nothing is exchanged between the two of you - just your time. with each passing second, your eyes begin to close again. and just as your vision was fading, you heard soft snores and mumbles of your name.

loving ZAYNE feels like going home at dusk, wondering what he's up to. the day ends with orange and red hues up in the sky, the moon readying itself for nightfall. you know he has a tendency to get caught up in work too often than not. and you wonder if you're overstepping your boundaries once you're at the doorstep of his office. what you didn't know was that even through the long and boring days at the hospital, he debated with himself on whether or not to call you. loving ZAYNE feels like moments when the sun paints everything in orange, gold hues - short, but sweet moments worth remembering.

loving ZAYNE feels like trying to navigate through the fog. fog feels uncertain, the chill sending goosebumps down your arm. the mist feels as though it's coercing you to join it away from the safety of your car. and in times like these you're reminded of how ZAYNE's morning coffee fogs his reading glasses. the same way you chuckle before taking them off of him and wiping them. you don't notice, but the black haired man now looks at you fondly - the steam from his coffee now subsided.

finally, loving ZAYNE feels like the transition from autumn to winter. the days of colorful leaves and cool wind over with. the beginning of winter marks its arrival through the fragile and stiff trees, the wind blowing through them as though they miss the kisses they'd share with the leaves. the days are getting shorter and the nights are longer. although the beginning of winter signifies hibernation and hiding, you can't help but love it. nights with ZAYNE are spent in bed cuddled in blankets and pillows as you both read books together. you never really cared for the books but rather the man that is clinging to you in a fashion he would never reveal in public. you had no problem with it. you'd love him in private and in public, through the winter storm and the chilly mornings. and just as your vision was fading, you felt a sigh against your skin and hands tucking you in, getting you ready for your dreams.

loving RAFAYEL feels like midnight escapades, brought on by midnight phone calls. the night is pitch black, save for the few street lights on your way from your apartment to his studio and the glowing moon. it's a vulnerable hour, crickets chirping and the white noise of the few cars going down streets the only music of the night. but as soon as you're met with his cheeky smile, you seem to forget the eeriness. your dazed nods as he goes on to rant about his problem or his painting - whichever one it was. it was only when you yawned when he invited you to rest in his too-big-of-a-bed. you had no idea if that was his intention or not, but any intelligible thoughts were hushed as the lights dimmed and the mattress below you dipped from the added weight.

loving RAFAYEL feels like the dew that paints the grass in the late nights and early mornings. you observe from the cover of his patio as he sinks his feet into the grass, seemingly in deep thought about something. you supposed it was his creative process, however odd it may be. the sun is almost blinding as it rises again and tiny rainbows form as if to say hello. he was still rooted in place. you think he invites you over, however you were distracted. the moisture of the air reminds you of how with RAFAYEL moments are quiet, just like how the grass quietly embraces the oncoming dew - an old friend.

finally, loving RAFAYEL feels like summer. like the hot atmosphere and the ice-cream melting on your tongue and fingers. like the never ending sky and the vibrant butterflies flapping their wings. loving RAFAYEL feels like the vigor the waves have for the sand under the hot gaze of the sun. and yet, you can never get a second of peace with all of his exhibitions gaining popularity. loving RAFAYEL means that summer nights is all you can afford to yourselves, the rush of the day still struggling to fade away. sitting on the sand, the white noise of the waves crashing over the earth lull you in a trance. and just as your vision was fading you saw dusky purple hair and violet amber eyes come closer, the feeling of lips against your temple sending you off.

⋆｡°✩ . 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 —

this is a blog dedicated to writing. i strictly only currently write for genshin impact, honkai star rail, and love & deepspace. this will change over time with my change in comfortability in writing for other fandoms, but for now it is only these three!!

i now take writing requests!! send a request and i'll see if i can fulfill it <3

⋆｡°✩ . 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 —

i will only be writing sfw, as i am a minor. however, i will occasionally write suggestive themes, but will not go farther then that. i also only write for female and gender neutral reader (afab), but mostly female reader since i am afab myself.

do not request any nsfw prompts, only suggestive at best. if i don't like your request, i simply won't answer it!!!

stuff you can request:

headcanons (up to 6 chars)

oneshots (1 main char)

matchups!! (1 main char)

scenarios (up to 4 chars)

thank you for reading until the end of this post, hope to see you again!

ZAYNE GURLIE'S YOU'VE OFFICIALLY WON IN THIS UPDATE ERMEGERDDD 😩😩

IT'S OKAY XAVIER'S ONE IS CUTE

IT'S OKAY...IT'S TOTALLY OKAY 😃

no NO IT'S NOT OKAY 😭😭

WHERE IS MY SUSSY XAVIER

I NEED HIM