All Fun And Games Until You Have To Wrestle Your 7 Foot Tall ~320 Pound Ultramarine Because The Neighbor Got A New Statue - Tumblr Posts

Oh jeez have I been there. I remember when my folks still had their ultramarine pair I was going over for a visit and the neighbors had just recently gotten a new statue for their front porch- it took me and dad to wrestle down one while my mom and brother kept the other inside the first time they saw it

Ultramarines are a very popular first-time breed, and for good reason. They are tidy, efficient, easily trained, naturally obedient, and are one of the friendlier breeds. Unfortunately, they are also one of the more expensive breeds to keep due to their deep-seated need for bling.

Ultramarines LOVE bling. Wild Ultramarines will decorate their nests with statues of their pack leaders and scavenge for shiny metal to gild their armor. You may recall the Siege of '92 when a park's ornate railings, broad pavilions, and equestrian statues attracted a whole company of feral Ultramarines, who claimed it "for Ultramar" and drove off the visitors so they could build a nest. Astartes experts theorize that Ultramarines use bling to establish status and attract mates.

New owners should be prepared to purchase at least one marble sculpture and several gilded items for their Ultramarine's enclosure. They should also award him with medals and other decorations for his armor and weaponry. Upkeep is easy--as long as the owner provides their Ultramarine with sufficient supplies, he will clean and maintain his bling without prompting. Indeed, some Ultramarines find bling cleaning to be a calming activity.

Failing to invest in bling will cause a rapid downturn in mood. Initially, the blingless Ultramarine will vocalize frequently about "shame" and "dishonor" to express his distress. If the situation is not amended, he can become lethargic and withdrawn and may even grow a beard. Alternatively, he may become increasingly aggressive as he seeks to find or earn more bling. If an Ultramarine begins showing these signs, it is highly imperative for an owner to purchase more decorations for his enclosure, and to frequently assure him of his honor.