Ultramarines - Tumblr Posts

wonderful photomode selfies from user @ fabino on tiktok. (Link)

Genuine happiness in these photos 😭💓 rip getting his phone taken away at the end....

school doodles my beloved, ft. space silly marines

(ultramarine killjoy, let this servant of papa Nurgle hug you, and share some of his best illnesses Nurgle's blessings with you!)

I think a lot of 40K is like this, silly puns and over-the-top goofiness, but played super seriously and grimdark to the point of absurdity, it’s great. Like how enginseers are engineer seers, it’s ridiculous

You know, it's still really funny how we all kinda forget that in Warhammer 40K, the standard mascot grimdark super-soldier legion of the grimdark super-space-dystopia is named the Ultramarines specifically as a really stupid pun on the fact that they're blue space marines.

Like, we meme about the origin of the Land Raider's name, but that one's pretty silly too...

Sometimes, the God Emperor saves his goofiest battles, for his silliest warriors [ultra sniff snorf]

(Was mildly inconvenienced ^)

A lot of funny tags in my space marines shitpost so I bring more based on those-

(1/2/3)

After some crying they got some ice-cream-

Father has caved to the whining-

Rest is for Primarchs who have successfully lulled their chapters to sleep with story time-

Brother!!! The codex astartes doesn’t support cuddling chaos spawn!!! 😡

Sketchy bonus:

Extra cuddles :3!!

Trying to make the battle brother feel comfy :)

Though some people might feel a little left out-

Just need to ask the guardsman for things, they always do what ya want!

Maybe that’s not the best lesson to give the little berserker-

Oh jeez have I been there. I remember when my folks still had their ultramarine pair I was going over for a visit and the neighbors had just recently gotten a new statue for their front porch- it took me and dad to wrestle down one while my mom and brother kept the other inside the first time they saw it

Ultramarines are a very popular first-time breed, and for good reason. They are tidy, efficient, easily trained, naturally obedient, and are one of the friendlier breeds. Unfortunately, they are also one of the more expensive breeds to keep due to their deep-seated need for bling.

Ultramarines LOVE bling. Wild Ultramarines will decorate their nests with statues of their pack leaders and scavenge for shiny metal to gild their armor. You may recall the Siege of '92 when a park's ornate railings, broad pavilions, and equestrian statues attracted a whole company of feral Ultramarines, who claimed it "for Ultramar" and drove off the visitors so they could build a nest. Astartes experts theorize that Ultramarines use bling to establish status and attract mates.

New owners should be prepared to purchase at least one marble sculpture and several gilded items for their Ultramarine's enclosure. They should also award him with medals and other decorations for his armor and weaponry. Upkeep is easy--as long as the owner provides their Ultramarine with sufficient supplies, he will clean and maintain his bling without prompting. Indeed, some Ultramarines find bling cleaning to be a calming activity.

Failing to invest in bling will cause a rapid downturn in mood. Initially, the blingless Ultramarine will vocalize frequently about "shame" and "dishonor" to express his distress. If the situation is not amended, he can become lethargic and withdrawn and may even grow a beard. Alternatively, he may become increasingly aggressive as he seeks to find or earn more bling. If an Ultramarine begins showing these signs, it is highly imperative for an owner to purchase more decorations for his enclosure, and to frequently assure him of his honor.

being a good brother

So I finished Unremembered Empire...

Actually I finished it like a week ago, I've just been wrangling with some gnarly insomnia and haven't had the brainpower to post. Ending thoughts:

For some reason I was under the impression that Vulkan was stark raving mad and stark raving naked when he charged Konrad Curze, and I'm deeply disappointed that he wasn't. Would it make sense? Probably not. Would it be fucking wild? Absolutely. I can only shake my head at Abnett's cowardice.

Does Curze have any motive beyond, "lol killing fun"?

Lion and Guilliman just fucking jumped Sanguinius as soon as he got off the ship, didn't they. Dude must have been so happy to see his brothers, and then they just cram a crown into his hands.

Euten rallying the Shattered Legions was phenomenal. Can we just make her their temporary primarch while they're on Macragge? They could use a mom, is all I'm saying.

I know it's a very serious moment, but I find the unexpected orbital drop to be such a hilarious concept. Baffled Macraggans getting bombarded by equally baffled Dark Angels. Imagine having a drop pod land in your neighborhood, and now you have these deeply embarrassed Astartes on your porch apologizing for blowing over your garage. Everyone comes out to stare. Someone's grandpa is convinced that the Word Bearers are attacking and has to be restrained from opening fire with a rusty old lasgun. A small child keeps escaping her parents to tell the Dark Angels that their armor is the wrong color. The Arbites are trying, and failing, to hustle everyone back into their homes. And then the Ultramarines come tearing in like the most deranged traffic cops to ever dog the streets. I'm gonna write fanfiction about this, mark my words.

Auch, right in my heart... But also correct.

IRON WARRIORS LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!