And Probs Going To Have A Mental Breakdown After Posting This - Tumblr Posts

Can I just poor all of my feelings in one post rn

So

Yeah

Don't read this if you are very uncomfortable with vent

But why follow me when my whole blog is vent hAHA

anyways

Tags: (sINCE I WANT COMFORT FROM MY FRIENDS DON'T JUDGE ME ;A;)

@angieriincarnation @kojoika @tsurushokubutsu @crystalsketches1781 @cmwsot @scxrpi

Heartbreak.

Heartbreak sucks.

You see

I liked this guy ever since we met. (Internet friends so it technically a love at first sight thing) Each time we talked, I would get butterflies in my stomach and my heart would beat LIKE CRAZY SSOOOON. I didn't know it was a sign that I liked him. We would just chat casually. The funny thing is, we first met in a roleplay situation where we were both going to get raped, (don't ask. We were both basically forced into the roleplay to make them stop) And he "saved me." I'm just realizing how cringy it sounds when I say it like that gROSS. Anyways, he saved me and blah blah "carried" me bridal style and that kind of crap. The next day, (in the roleplay and irl lol) the one who was about to "rape" us was around in the gc so basically when he was "sleeping" I tried to wake him up then things kinda uh-

*cOUGHS*

Escalated...?

He pulled me down and kindasortamaybehuggedmewhilehewas"sleeping"

Let's just say I choked on my pretzels.

Then we would bicker in a sort of friendly matter then repeat for about two weeks.

TL;DR: I didn't know I liked this guy at the beginning and just thought "nOrMaL fRiEnDs fEeL bUtTeRfLiEs fOr eAcH oThEr aNd mAkE tHeIr hEaRtS bEat fAsTeR oF cOuRsE"

I was literally an idiot in love.

In the span of our two months of friendship, he would like A LOT of people. Girl to girl and boy to boy, he wouldn't stop liking everyone of his friends. Except for me. Yup. Except me. I had to listen to him vent on me about how much he loved the person and stuff then come to me when he was heartbroken. I was the therapy friend. It was okay for me to become his therpay friend, I was always the therapy friend anyway. "So why did it bother me when he would talk about other people?:0" He actually realized I liked him becuase he was really good at reading people. I denied it at first then showed me proof then I said I moved on even though I still continued to like him and he believed me.

lols

Now let's get to the juicy part.

My best friend is currently dating him.

And the other juicy part is

She knows I like him.

hAHA LOLS

yOU HEARD IT RIGHT FOLKS

That best friend of mine, I would vent to her all the time about my feelings towards him when I didn't know I liked him. She actually was the one who opened my eyes and helped me realized I liked him. And she CONSTANTLY teased me about it. At one point, half of our friends shipped me with my so called, "crush." It just kinda happend. She didn't tell me. He didn't tell me.

No one told me.

They just started callinng each other "babe" and constantly said "I love you" to each other.

That's how I knew.

By reading comments on their facebook posts.

Even though, they told every one of their friends.

It was certainly a disheartening situation.

Yet they didn't know they impacted someone deeply.

Their close friend

Who they forgot

That existed

lols

I was deeply hurt. I had to act happy and proud of their relationship when I did confront them. I would see them constantly smothering each other in our gc. Since I was always active. I haven't cried since I've been pushing it down but soooner or later I think I'll just explode.

So

Yeah

This is my petty love life problem.

Sorry for wasting your time friends :)