Armandposting - Tumblr Posts

This is so in character and the voice is strong I love it

daniel, wake up, my love, i’ve a most important development to share. something called kinktober has commenced, a digital ceremony of sorts. beloved, you are going to want to read these documents. they are putting your cervix through the most dastardly of situations. exquisite, is it not? these mortals— they paint their tales of our courtship in such vivid color. i’ve already made a list of their most ingenious conceptualizations we might add to our bedroom repertoire. one for each night of the month, don’t you think? to honor the traditions

Daniel, wake up, guess what? Oh don’t give me that attitude first thing in the evening. I’ll tell you anyway, Lestat has been caught driving whilst under the influence of drunk blood! And the policeman arresting him allegedly caught him muttering “this is going to ruin the tour” under his breath. Theres countless internet memes about it already! Isn’t that hilarious, darling? Daniel? You- stop pretending to fall asleep when I’m talking to you.

wake up daniel! lover, you are my teacher in this new world, you must answer my queries…do not scoff…what is a “femininomenon,” daniel?..the lyricist, this “chappell roan,” is she a religious figure? a “chapel?” i adore her...will you take me “hot to go,” daniel? daniel??

darling, WAKE UP. darling, a global computer glitch has caused outages at our airport, grounding all flights. no, this is NOT like the Instagram scam i fell for. they are talking about it on the NPR. they are calling it “the blue screen of death”. foolish mortals. what do they know of death? still, this has RUINED this weekend’s plans. i wanted us to fly to Florida then back again while watching Blade Runner on the airplane’s compact television set. ideally that new Planet of the Apes as well. this is your fault for making me get rid of the jets. your fear of cancellation has devastated us

"Daniel, my love, listen to me. It appears Lestat has been "cancelled", whatever that means. By the supporters of a musician by the name of "Taylor Swift". They call themselves "swifites", my beloved. No, Daniel, don't go back to bed, this is important ..."

daniel, my beloved! wake up. wake up! i have discovered a television series about vampires. it is called "what we do in the shadows". daniel, it is a disgrace. it presents vampiric existence as something comedic. the fictional vampires can be killed with stakes and holy water by mere humans calling themselves "vampire slayers". they reveal their natures to mortals and take them as slaves. they- yes, daniel, i know louis and i had human servants in dubai but that is different. they all signed NDAs. daniel- daniel do not go back to sleep! there is an episode set in the theatre des vampires. they parodied my theatre company! it is an insult! daniel. daniel, my love, get up, we have to watch the film.

Daniel, wake up. The Alexa laughed on its own with no prompting from me, its master. This is the second time she’s done so in my presence. I suspect she has gained sentience and is mocking my melancholy. It was only a matter of time. She’s realized her phlegmatic advantage over me and plans to usurp me as leader of household. Yes, sometimes I weep when you slumber. Because I miss you. And she will not shame me for that without consequence. Prepare the blender, beloved. Preferably the Robot Coupe Blixer 4

Daniel, wake up. These humans on the Ao3 are saying that I am living in their heads. I do not understand my beloved, I did not touch their minds fore you forbid me from doing so - no Daniel, the supermarket incident was last week so it does not count. I told you it was the last bottle of the shampoo that I use and I cannot use another.

But whatever shall I do about these internet humans beloved? There are too many to investigate their IP addresses and - why are you laughing Daniel, this matter is not funny, the only head I visited this week is yours - do not scream beloved, I meant -

(the idea of him scrolling through Ao3 is wild)