Astyanax Lives - Tumblr Posts
This is how I think Astyanax would know react to being told what happened at Troy.
Context: Odysseus and Astyanax are trapped in Calypso's island. Unfortunetely, Zeus is bored, so he sends a message (maybe a letter? Maybe he just sends Hermes and call it a day?) to fuck things up a bit and mess with Odysseus. It works wonders. Nine years old Astyanax reacts poorly.
Here's what happens when Odysseus finds him after receiving the message.
The sun was about to set, filling the silence with the sound of the waves hitting the beach. Only Odysseus had the audacity to talk.
"My son..."
That wasn't welcome, not anymore.
"Am I?" Asked the boy. He was trembling, but not from the breeze. "Your son?"
For once, Calypso didn't try to insert herself in the conversation, even the chatty goddess was speechless.
"I always wondered, why we don't look alike at all? I was adopted, I knew, but I thought I was your nephew, even a cousin".
"Son..."
Odysseus was interrupted
"How can you call me that? My family, my whole country... it's gone, and it's your fault".
The man took a short breath.
"I'm not going to ask for forgiveness..."
"Good", Astyanax was done, "because there's no forgiving you. Tell me everything that happened, tell me about what went down that night".
He stared at the older man while he shook his head.
"Astyanax, save yourself that pain, the endless pain of the war shouldn't be a child's warden".
"But it is!" Bursted out the kid. "You decided to spare me on a whim!"
"That's not what happened."
"Then what?" A desperate question. "Am I a warprize?"
"Don't call yourself that." It was soft spoken, like a prayer.
Astyanax was no god.
"What am I supposed to think?"
Trying to descalate the situation, Calypso spoke.
"Maybe what your father is trying to say..."
Any other day, the goddess' inside was welcome, as she was Astyanax's friend. Today he was having none of it.
"SHUT UP NOBODY ASKED YOU-"
"HEY", Odysseus stopped him, "don't yell at her. You want to know what happened? Put your emotions aside, and sit with me by the fire".
They did so, and Odysseus told him. About the Trojan war, about ten years of slow killing, about the ressiliance of Troy. He told him about Achilles and Patroclus, about Paris and Helen.
He told the story of the wooden horse.
About longing to go home.
Diomedes led the charge. Agamemnon flanked the guards. Menelaus let the men through the gates. They took the whole city at large. Teucer will shot every ambush attack. And Little Ajax stayed back. Nestor secured Helen and protected her. Neo, avenged his father, killing the brothers of Hector.
About a mission, to kill someone's son, someone who wouldn't run, someone who could only be dealt with right there and then. About a baby in a cradle. About Zeus' prophecy. About him.
About someone who was just a man.
Troy fell.
The Ithacan fleet sailed, hoping to reach home.
They never did.
When he was done remembering the past, he looked at the boy, who was sitting at the other side of the flame, hands covering his face.
It took a long time for Astyanax to even look at him, let alone spoke up, but he finally did it.
"I don't know what to say." He confessed, bathed in the fire's light. "I hate you, I do, I'm so full of rage right now...but I love you, and I hate you so much. You should have killed me when you had the chance, why didn't you?"
The answer came easyly to Odysseus's lips.
"Mercy". He dared to say, the blasphemy of it haunting them, with only the fire and the waves as witnesses. "You haven't done anything, you were a child who had only known love. What was the point?"
"Zeus told you to do it. One should not defy the gods".
A dark laugh came from Odysseus, startling the kid
"That's all we have ever done since we met." Odysseus spoke the truth, and Astyanax hated him for it. "A god ordered a child's death. Where's my free will? Your right to a peaceful life? They're supposed to protect us...and look where we are now because of them."
Astyanax looked at him, right in the eyes, before saying his part.
"I hate you."
Odysseus sighed, tired, defeated.
"I know." Resigned.
"I have one more question."
Just one question? Odysseus would have give him anything he asked for. A question he could do.
"Go ahead."
Like a dreadful night, so many years ago, he thought he was ready. He wasn't ready.
"Do you even love me?"
Tears came to his eyes when the boy asked that question. How many times can a heart break until there's nothing left?
"How couldn't I? To love my children it's the easiest thing I've ever done."
Whatever was the veredict, he would take it, he owed Astyanax that much.
And then Astyanax got up. There was no emotions in his voice when he talked
"You are without doubt, a cruel man, Odysseus of Ithaca."
He walked away, letting a crying man behind.