Ateez Crack - Tumblr Posts

This killed me off

Since I’m in a even more helpful mood:

Guide to Ateez members:

Hongjoong: There he is, looming at over 6’3 known mostly for his signature hair style, the tie dyed afro. Has this weird obsession with Shawn Mendes. Tried to compose a song once and blew up the studio, now he just sticks to trying to gain a fashion sense.

Seonghwa: Diagnosed with ODD when he was 5. Obsessive Distruction Disorder. Concerningly short tongue, but that’s okay everyone loves his submissive nature. What to expect from the maknae?

Yunho: Oh my god where is he?? oh. Sorry we couldn’t find him behind that grain of rice back there. You could use his butt as an airplane landing strip. Comically unlucky. Slightly overrated, no offense. Reminds me of those hairless cats.

Mingi: See the guy with the small squinty eyes? No? WELL THATS BECAUSE THERES NOBODY IN THE GROUP WITH THAT DESCRIPTION. Look for the quiet short dude with the biggest watery eyes, bigger than Gollum. Don’t tease him about his skinny chicken legs GOT IT?

San: In the midst of a passionate love affair...with Mingi. Auditioned as a dancing prodigy but somehow became the king of rap? When ever you see him on stage, he’s so fucking soft, he reminds you of the Holy Spirit. A literal angel. When he smiles, you see his signature double chin.

Wooyoung: Thank fucking god, the only one with a brain cell in this group. Easily spot him, he’s a head taller than everyone else. Him and Hongjoong are the pillars of the group. Calves make the mouths water. Kinda looks like Jungkook from BTS.

Yeosang: Honestly can he stop screaming all the time? Being the main vocal, KQ alreadly gives him 80% of the lines and yet he still doesn’t stop. Nickname Yeoriah Karry. Wants the visual title but no one takes him seriously when Mingi exists.Thinks his members are flawless and chill.

Jongho: Lead Rapper and Main dancer and well as the official leader. A Marshmallow, I know he’s a constant prankster and nuisance but do not make this boy cry I tell you he will fucking BUST...into tears ;(

Honestly i hate to say it but i would not get along with seonghwa. I love him so much but idk he’s so clean and respectful and im just a messy gigantic child. I am honestly a more chaotic version of wooyoung😂 he would honestly just be like

San, would either love me or hate me honestly because of my huge obsession with Wooyoung. He would either be like ‘yes finally someone who understands my obsession with this perfect human’ or he would be like ‘bitch, tf, that is MY WOO! Back off’😂

This one hurts to type but i think Hongjoong, my baby Hongjoong🥺 wouldn’t like me😭 like i don’t know why, probably because of how chaotic i am, he would just get so sick of me😂 i would try to make him like me and his exact response would be...

Based on the personality they portray, which idol, if you knew them in real life, would you most definitely not get along with?

Somebody please tell me why in my dream Jongho was screaming this in my ear right as i woke up.

I literally woke up to him screaming ‘we a party tonight. Okay’ 😂

asking boyfriend!ateez to buy you pads

genre: ot8 x fem!reader, crack, fluff, fake texts

c/w: the boys are trying their best okay, swearing, crude language, pet names

a/n: bc the only way to get through shark week 🦈🩸 is to pretend boyfie ateez will (try to) take care of you 😌☝️ also in other news i got rear-ended the other day LOL @sorryimananti-romantic can confirm the other driver was st00pid

taglist: at the end

apply for taglist | unable to be tagged

@thecarnivaloflies @binchanluvrr @ifykyunho @ppprimary @itza-meee

@lavishloving @okshu @mizumigi @everythingboutkpop @ayytease

@hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @hongjoongsprincess @booyoungie @green-agent @darkmentalitystarfish-blog

@taytayy178 @babymbbatinygirl @oddracha @sourkimchi @itstheghostofmypast

@kiki277 @kibs-and-bits @mlysalt @jjoongstar @aaa-sia

@nollamuumialaaksossa @skz1-4-3 @minkilicious @joongscheese @delulu18

@teenyfinds @shakalakaboomboo @fureastel @seomisaho @levishun

@readerofallthingss @potatos-on-clouds @apriecotte @smally97 @savluvsmingi

@pixie0627 @kyeos4ng @yunhowooyo @yeehawnana @telail

@drinkingrumandcocacola @iykyunho @myblovedjyh @enhacracy @satsuri3su

!!!

• daily texts with bf!seonghwa 😎

lmao sorry for being mia for a couple days 💀

• daily texts with bf!yeosang 😎

• daily texts with bf!wooyoung 😎

• daily texts with bf!jongho 😎

to the anon that’s been waiting forever for your request IM GONNA START IT TONIGHT I PROMISE HAHA THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT

boyfriend!ateez discovering you write smut

genre: ot8 x gn!reader, smut, crack, fake texts

c/w: explicit content - mdni, swearing, dirty jokes, pet names, dark humour

a/n: i had a different fake text queued for today, but in light of choi san the man himself discovering fanfic, this felt fitting to post 🫢 started drafting this five months ago with @sorryimananti-romantic so did we accidentally manifest it 😬

Wait the chess messenger had me CACKLING

ATEEZ as your EXES ★ | SMAU

Pairing: ot8 ateez x gn!reader Tags: ateez, text smau, ex ateez, ateez scenarios, crack Warnings: wooyoungs a lil crazy but in like a half joking way..! also the numbers used in hwas and woo's are FAKE MADE UP NUMBERS. note: yet another smau to hold yall over while I make a queue and actually find the motivation to write yall a few drabbles or something. Enjoy! <3

ateez as your situationship

it’s my eighteen birthday today!!!! so here’s an ateez post to celebrate it!!

masterlist

perm. taglist: @italiekim @realjonko @aestheticsluut @rielleluvs @youngestdelacour @alanniys @dogsongy @mingiholic @sankatchu @stopeatread

boyfriend!ateez discovering you write smut

genre: ot8 x gn!reader, smut, crack, fake texts

c/w: explicit content - mdni, swearing, dirty jokes, pet names, dark humour

a/n: i had a different fake text queued for today, but in light of choi san the man himself discovering fanfic, this felt fitting to post 🫢 started drafting this five months ago with @sorryimananti-romantic so did we accidentally manifest it 😬

☆ Random texts with bf!wooyoung

genre: wooyoung x fem!reader, atz crack, fake texts c/w: swearing, suggestiveness, playful aggression note: back to back uploads because these are way too fun to make

☆ Random texts with bf!mingi

genre: mingi x gn reader, crack, fake texts c/w: swearing, pet names, playful breakup, suggestive note: i'll make one of these for every member this was fun to make, also think this is totally the type of bf mingi would be over text, something tells me his bond with his s/o would be aggressively unserious.

☆Random texts with bf!jongho genre: jongho x gn!reader, crack, fake texts c/w: swearing, pet names, mentions of sex note: giggled a lot making this actually, we all know how hilarious jongho actually is a relationship with him would be teetering on tsundere but in a comical manner

LMAOOO JONGHO'S I'M CRYING 😭

Ok hear me out - bf!atz texts in which their s.o asks them "in a line up of pussies can you identify mine by just looking"

i'm hearing you a little too well - mdni

LMAOOO

The house demands bf!ateez texts and putting them on a sex ban pls🥺

ask demand and you shall receive!

ATEEZ and PUTTING THEM ON A SEX BAN

pairing: bf!ateez x reader

warnings: a few curse words; mentions of toys, gaslighting/manipulation (all jokes)

LMAO PLEASE

ateez & situationships (pt. 2)

here it is… the long awaited part two 😭 pls let me know on a scale of 1-ijbol how funny this is,,, i tried,,, ANYWAY like the last one, most if not all are suggestive!!

© yunhoszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

The Blossom Festival~

ꕥPosted: 7/8/20

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Crack

ꕥPairing: GenderNeutral!Reader x Yunho

ꕥWord Count: Enough

ꕥWarnings: Language

“It’s too damn hot for this,” Hongjoong said, wiping sweat off his forehead.

“Well what do you want me to do about it, Hongjoong?” San retorted.

“Well some shade would be nice, to start.”

Yunho, Hongjoong, San, and I made the terribly unfortunate decision to attend a festival in July...in the middle of a heat wave. To be fair, we were bored as hell and barely had time to go out anymore with our busy schedules.

Hongjoong continued, “It’s literally 92 degrees outside. This is disgusting.”

“Your mom’s disgusting.”

“Watch your mouth, San, or I’m gonna smack you to next week.”

“Ha. I’m sure you would if you could reach me.”

“Alright, that’s enough testosterone out of the both of you,” I wiped my sweat-filled hair out of my eyes and continued, “let’s try and enjoy this, okay?”

“Y/n you literally look like wet dog.”

I closed my eyes and feigned annoyance, “San I don’t have the time or patience to deal with you right now.”

I looked up at Yunho and saw him smiling. Even though he hadn’t said a word I could see the playfulness in his eyes. He didn’t look back at me but clearly saw me looking and squeezed my hand in acknowledgment.

Yunho finally spoke up, “How about some blossom ice cream? It’s a tradition of y/n’s and mine to get some every year.”

I nodded my head in agreement, remembering all the cute memories we made here since we started dating. I then looked to gauge San and Hongjoong’s reactions. San seemed to be on board but Hongjoong had a different opinion.

“What the hell is that? Is it made with legit blossoms or something?”

“No, dumbass. It’s pink sherbet.”

“Then why on earth is it called blossom ice cream, y/n?”

“Dude,” Yunho interjected, “This celebration is literally called The Blossom Festival.”

“Oh. Uh...sure then.”

“...dumbass.”

-

We walked along the busy street, watching people pass. Little children chased one another holding pink stuffed animals while others played carnival games. Young teenagers could be spotted kissing under blossom trees. Elderly were often found sitting on benches under the shade, reminiscing and telling stories of when they were young. There was a place for everyone here, I think that’s partly why I liked it so much.

“This certainly is a busy place, especially considering the weather,” Hongjoong said as he fanned his face with his hand, clearly regretting wearing all black.

“It’s so obvious that you’ve never been here before. People will come here in over 100 degree weather just to celebrate and play games.”

“Yunho, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I mean it’s 92 right now, and look at all the people still here,” Yunho motioned all around us.

“Touché.”

-

After what felt like forever, we reached one of the booths selling blossom ice cream. Surprisingly, there wasn’t that long of a line.

“This better be worth it, Yunho.”

“It will be, San. Trust me.”

Standing in line for 15 minutes doesn’t sound like much, but when the heat is steadily climbing it feels like you’re the wicked witch and someone just threw a bucket of water at you. Luckily, the line was under shade.

Finally, when we got the ice cream, it was just as good as I remember. Just like-

“OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST ICE CREAM I’VE EVER HAD IN MY FUCKING LIFE.”

“San you need to calm your ass down, there are children,” Hongjoong said while we all laughed at San’s reaction, “It is super good though.” He added.

Surprisingly, we were silent for a while, simply enjoying our ice cream until San spotted a certain carnival game.

“HONGJOONG THEY HAVE THAT ONE GAME WHERE YOU THROW THE NEEDLE THINGS AT THE BALLOONS AND THEY POP! WE GOTTA GO!!”

San turned to Hongjoong and shook his shoulders, yelling at him a bit too loud, “WE COULD WIN A GOLDFISH!”

Before Hongjoong could get a word in, San ran off in the direction of the booth.

Hongjoong put a hand on his face and sighed, “Alright I’ll take the child. You two lovebirds have fun.”

Yunho and I looked at each other. Both of us had smiles on our faces as we raised our ice creams.

“Geonbae!” We cheered and continued to eat our ice cream.

“You know y/n, I’ve been thinking.”

“Have you been doing so safely? That’s a dangerous game, babe.”

He rolled his eyes, “I meant our three year anniversary is coming up and I want to do something special.”

“Oh yeah?” I raised my eyebrows, “What did you have in mind?”

“Honesty, whatever you want, honey.”

Yunho kissed me gently, then pulled back only for me to place my hand on his cheek and pull him back to my lips.

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?”

I blushed, making Yunho smile. He kissed both of my pink cheeks and whispered to me, “I don’t care what we do. I’m with you and that’s all I care about.”

Note: © lovely-ateez — All rights reserved. Reposting/copying/modifying of any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not permitted. Translations of any fic or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not permitted.

🌸Fluff  ⭐️Smut  ☔️Angst  🐺Supernatural 🌿Crack

Individual:

ꕥ Kim Hongjoong ꕥ

As You Wish~ ⭐️🌸

❥ Gazing at the stars with Hongjoong is your favorite pastime. He just happens to be a bit needy tonight.

A Song For You~ 🌸

❥ Hongjoong couldn’t be more thankful to have you in his life. Just to show you how much you mean to him, he writes you a song.

Favorite Place~ 🌸☔️⭐️

❥ Hongjoong, a notorious bad boy, has taken an interest in you. Will you give him a chance?

ꕥ Park Seonghwa ꕥ

Ice Cream~ ☔️🌸

❥ Online dating clearly isn’t for you, especially with how your last couple “dates” have gone. But what happens when you run into a dashingly handsome man who happens to take a liking to you?

Ice Cream Pt. 2~ 🌸⭐️

❥ Seonghwa invites you over to cook with him when you really have no idea how to. Trying to impress him, you do your best anyway.

Ice Cream Pt.3~ 🌸

❥ You’re busy making pottery and reminiscing with an old friend. Seonghwa’s busy thinking about you as his wife.

All For You~ 🌸

❥  Dating an idol can be hard, but you and Seonghwa make the best of it. Today, he has a day off and you’re letting him do your makeup, which may or may not have been a good idea.

ꕥ Jeong Yunho ꕥ

The Blossom Festival~ 🌸🌿

❥ Sure it’s hot as hell outside, but why not go to a festival with your boyfriend and best friends?

For I Have Always Loved You~ ☔️🌸

❥ Prince Yunho has no eyes for anyone but you, and you need reassurance.

Broken Strings ☔️🌸⭐️

❥ You’ve been dating rockstar!Yunho for awhile, but now he’s going on tour and you won’t see him for four months. As strong as your relationship is, you aren’t worried...but then Yunho’s obsessive ex makes an appearance. Will your relationship survive?

ꕥ Kang Yeosang ꕥ

Teach Me~ ⭐️🌸🌿

❥ Okay college is hard and all, but skateboarding is harder. If only you had someone to teach you...

Only You~ ⭐️🌸

❥ Good morning, sunshine. You’ve got something new you’d like to try out and Yeosang is more than happy to help.

ꕥ Choi San ꕥ

Next Door Neighbor~ ⭐️🌸

❥ Your dreamy next door neighbor hasn’t made a move on you yet, even though he clearly likes you. You’re here to put an end to it.

A Plane For Two~ ⭐️🌸

❥ Vacation, anyone? You haven’t been able to get away for far too long and San decides to take you away to Paris.

It’s Not Just The Coffee~ 🌸

❥ You recently moved to a new town, but it’s terribly cold. With nowhere else to go, you head inside a warm coffee shop where a stunning man greets you. Could he be feeling the same butterflies you do?

Just This Once~ 🌸⭐️

❥ San is exhausted from soccer practice, and you have just the idea to help him relax.

ꕥ Song Mingi ꕥ

Mr. Song~ ⭐️🌸

❥ You’ve had enough of Mingi being a dom, but can you really resist his doe eyes?

Silver Nights With You~ ⭐️🌸☔️

❥ You arrive at Christmas party only to find you’ve got the date wrong. Trapped in by snow, you’re only accompaniment is your ex-boyfriend Mingi. But is it really a bad thing?

I’ll Be Home Soon~ 🌸

❥ Mingi’s back! To celebrate his return you go to the zoo and end up seeing a glimpse into your possible future with him.

ꕥ Jung Wooyoung ꕥ

My Dear~ 🌸

❥ Lazy Netflix days and cuddles are the best way to spend an off day, right?

Just What The Doctor Ordered~ ⭐️🌸

❥ Your migraines have been bothering you for far too long. Hoping for a cure, you go to the doctor’s office and meet a new, handsome doctor who finds you just as attractive.

ꕥ Choi Jongho ꕥ

For The First Time Pt. 1~ 🌸🌿

❥ You were ready for college. You’ve prepared anything and you’re ready for the next stage in your life. But you weren’t prepared for the man with a gummy smile and swoon-worthy biceps to come into your life.

For The First Time Pt. 2~ 🌸🌿

❥ You’ve warmed up to Jongho and finally realized your feelings. But are you willing to tell him?

Superman Jongho~ 🌸☔️

❥ You’ve been dating Jongho for quite a while and know everything about each other, don’t you?

Cold Ice & Warm Hearts~ 🌸

❥ Who is this handsome stranger that’s taken an interest in you at the skating rink? And what might he want?

Vampire Shift~ ⭐️🌸☔️🐺

❥ Another boring night shift at the gas station leads to meeting an enchanting gentleman...who happens to be a vampire?

Miscellaneous:

Ateez As Emotes~