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In Defense of Non-Block Busters: I am doomed to love films that will never get a sequel. Thanks critics. Thanks people who illegally download a movie instead of paying for a ticket.There is a long, agonizing scream that sounds inside my head when I think about what could have been.

" A bad workman always blames his tools " - Ye Olde Proverb

To paraphrase Demi Lovato, I am coming back and more honest than ever. It has been a while since I have decided to seek validation on this platform. I know, I know, what sort of self-respecting person would want attention in the toxic wastelands of the wide world web. Well, jokes on you and ... me, I guess since I do seek the coveted 5 minutes of fame. As such, I return with quite an interesting tale to astonish.

Let us turn back the clock to a time that might as well have been yesterday for some and literally a thousand years for others. It is September 19th 2017, the date when Star Trek: Discovery has premiered and when thousands of fans cried out in anguish. Some of you might wonder why is that. Well, the reality is that Alex Kurtzman really screwed the pooch with this one folks and to be honest this isn't even his first time working with the Star Trek franchise. Oh no, the guy had his hands in the creation of Star Trek Into Darkness, a lukewarm movie adaption of The Wrath of Khan. He really learned all the wrong lessons from good old J.J. Abrams and then some, considering that most fans were not really impressed with the show from the first season until the last. To be fair, Discovery had some good to it, but the bad and ugly far outweighed even Anson Mount's performance as Captain Christopher Pike in season 2 and the return to the roots of the franchise in season 4. As such, one might wonder, are all creators unable to work outside of their own headcanons or is it just some of them. To answer that question let us turn our attention to Ron Gilbert's Return to Monkey Island.

Ron Gilbert is the original creator of the first two games in the Monkey Island series and was a creative consultant for Telltale's entry into the franchise, Tales of Monkey Island. As you can see the story moved on from Ronnie's original plans over the span of three additional games of which only two bear mentioning. However, he managed to convince the media overlord Disney to let him try his hand at creating his own version of the third game that would casually reset the canon back to the where Le Chuck's Revenge left off. Over the spawn of two years, he and his team have worked in secret to create the game and in an earlier build of it, the idea was that our favourite pairing of the Elaine Marley, former Governor of the Tri-Island Area and Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate, would be on the verge of breaking up after years of being blissfully married. You can imagine that the testers they brought in weren't too happy to learn that Captain Gilbert was planning on sinking their ship and they made their outrage known. Ron saw the writing on the wall and wisely decided to compromise on his vision with what the fans wanted, as such he and his team switched gears and now aimed to find a way to canonize most of what fans loved about the games that came after the canonical two.

With all of this in mind, you can see why Discovery and Picard were not all that well received since they eschewed what fans loved about the franchise in favor of being generic Hollywood Action Dramas with so much angst about current sociopolitical events that they forgot that the Gene Roddenberry created an sociopolitical commentary that was dressed like an Science Fiction Adventure series who sought to educate people of moral values that can make all the difference for a brighter tomorrow. Alex sought to pitch his own personal tunnel vision to an audience that was tired of being stuck in a bleak world. In other words he was a bad worksman since he had no understanding of his tools nor the experience to select the best options. If he wanted to succeed he should have done what an entrepreneur would do and basically ask his audience about their lives and see what is missing from their day-to-day lives or what could be improved about it, but he learned that lesson too late in the game. To be fair to the guy, he did manage to get Strange, New Worlds close enough to what fans wanted that he could be excused for doing his best impression of a monkey that doesn't see or hear others. But enough bashing a dead horse, let's get to the fun part of the show. Let's get dangerous and create our retelling of Discovery's story in order to get it more in line with what we Trekkies would want. I would also give my two cents about Picard, but that show was soo out-of-continuity that I don't think even Alan Moore would know how to save it from damnation.

First things first, I will present some of the general headcanons that I think would have made more sense from a lore perspective and which justify the changes made to the original version of events. I think that the implication that the office of the Klingon Chancellor didn't exist before the ending of the season 1 finale contradicted too much lore established in Star Trek: Enterprise and therefore I prefer to think that the events that T'Kuvma set in motion were just a prelude to his ascendancy as Chancellor-Elect and the whole war would have been his chance to prove his worth to the Empire. I wilfully choose to ignore the existence of time crystals and the mushrooms hyperspace dimension and those are some hills that I will gladly die on since both are very poor plot devices that can easily be replaced with ideas taken from previous entries in the franchise, more on that later. On the subject of Michael Burnham, I think she and her mother were survivors of a Klingon raid on a research colony that claimed the lives of the rest of the family and in order to escape their trauma they ran all the way to Vulcan, where there wasn't that much of a human presence due to the Vulcan's passive aggressive form of xenophobia and as such whatever person from Earth who lived there was part of a very tight community. With that in mind and applying some childhood neglect on part of Michael's mother, it would make sense that she would spend a lot of time around Amanda Grayson's family to the point of being considered as part of it. Also the plot point of Control going rogue is a cliché that I chose to ignore and therefore Section 31 will simply become more like Cerberus from Mass Effect following the Klingon War. Got all of that? No? Good enough, we have a lot more ground to cover, but I think I ran out of space for this post and will most likely have to do a second one so stay tuned for that.

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