Bpd Episode - Tumblr Posts

I love too much tbh to where the point it's abusive i don't know how to change i want to but it's hard I've been left so many times... i leave ppl bc I'm afraid of being left i have no control over my thoughts or feelings atp whatever i do I'm gonna do it i dont care anymore i alrd lost someone important it doesnt matter anymore i dont want people in my life anymore all i do is hurt ppl and i can't change whats the point of even trying im not suicidal im just numb atp oh well life sucks I'll get through it i always do

Atp i feel like a lost cause all i do is hurt ppl i just wanna fade away and i want people to forget about me like i was never a problem like i was never a person to begin with i dont want help because its never gonna get better it hasnt gotten better it only got worse its only getting worse why did it have to change to someone else why couldnt it have stayed the same like always like for the past 4 1/2 years that was my normal now its different its something worse something bigger something i cant control im a monster