Buccibabe - Tumblr Posts
Darling dating someone else: Yan Team Bucciarati
ngl if you want the short answer it’d be a DISASTER but here’s the long answer
Giorno:
Giorno isn’t an overly jealous type. It isn’t that he’s happy with the situation, but it isn’t enough to make him act without thinking. He’s the type that would want to win you over as naturally as possible, so jumping the gun and offing your s/o wouldn’t be the best action. That being said, Giorno takes the opportunity to one up them. He knows he’s better, and doesn’t need to rush things.
He can offer you everything your partner cannot. Expensive trips to exclusive restaurants, covering your rent, making plenty that you wouldn’t ever need to work again. While Giorno isn’t an expert in love, having not grown up with any positive figures in his life, he’s quick to catch on. If it’s not gifts that you’re fond of, his charisma should pull you in. Giorno listens to sympathizes with you so well, it’s almost unnatural. Always having the words to make you feel better, or making situations that troubled you disappear.
Unfortunately, Giorno can’t lavish you in all the attention he might want to offer. As the Don of Passione, he doesn’t have a lot of free time. If things aren’t progressing as he would prefer, framing your partner for a crime and paying a few folks off to make sure he’s convicted is the next step. All the while Giorno will welcome you with open arms, a solid rock during the turbulent time. He makes a convincing argument to rely on him.
“I can’t imagine how much you be hurting. If there’s anything you think I can do to help ease the pain, I’ll do it.”
Mista:
It’s not gonna be pretty. Once you’ve caught Mista’s eye, he’s under the impression the two of you are dating. You smiled at once of his jokes once, so that’s got to mean something. He has always been on the handsy side with you, an arm around your shoulder here and an amorous hug there. Mista isn’t the type to feel the need for labels, he goes with the flow. So imagine his surprise when he’s watching you from afar, and some guy claiming to be your boyfriend strolls up.
He’ll bring it up to you casually, thinking maybe it’s a silly misunderstanding. Because c’mon, how obvious has he been? Calling you babe, treating you to lunch? So when you explain you thought he was just being friendly, and that person is indeed your boyfriend, he gets real quiet. When you question him about it he’ll bounce back, heading off with a grin and wave. As much as he adores spending time with you, there’s some stuff he needs to take care of.
A few broken fingers and ripped out teeth later, the unfortunate soul scampers off after being threatened. Leaving you none the wiser as to why your s/o has cut off all contact with you. Should you ever run into him again in public, he’d be running away at the sight of you. Mista’s endless amount of threats and violence ensure that.
“Real shame about that guy, ditching you like that. Such a scummy move. Hey, I’m free all week, if you just wanna hang out and watch movies to feel better. Whatever you want.”
Narancia:
Kinda like Mista where he feels you two already have a connection. Narancia monopolizes a lot of your time to begin with, tagging along with you whenever time allows. He sticks to your hip like glue, no matter how mundane a task you’re performing. That’s how much fun you are to him, that Narancia will pick you over doing anything else. Since you don’t seem to mind (or if you are uncomfortable, he’s oblivious to it), Narancia thinks you must feel the same.
When he sees you with someone else in public, who is way too close for Narancia’s liking, he assumes you’re uncomfortable. Due to how much he cares for you, he’s on his way to defend your honor. The scene is a horrifying one, Narancia comes with his knife out to your partner’s throat, threatening them in a low tone to back the fuck away from you. You’ll need to deescalate the situation, but even that is almost impossible.
He’s genuinely heart broken to find out you’re with someone else. As soon as the rushed explanation leaved your mouth, his blood runs cold. This entire time… did he just misunderstand things? He’s confused, and you’re looking at him like you’re scared. Why are you scared? Narancia would never hurt you, so stop looking at him like that, he can’t handle it. Having been left by so many people in his life, he would be distressed at the thought of you leaving him too.
“No, no, this isn’t right…! You’re supposed to look at me like that! I don’t understand.”
Fugo:
Fugo takes a tentative approach to you. While he can recognize the feelings you provoke within him are probably love, that’s as far as his understanding goes. He can go from wanting to spend a lot of time with you, to needing his distance. This sensation of being so out of control reminds him of his anger, and it makes Fugo uncomfortable. So he needs time to sort it out. It’s all going decently until he stumbles across the fact you’re already taken.
He finds it… almost offended? This level of hurt doesn’t come often, as Fugo doesn’t let others grow close to him. You managed to do just that, and because of it, he’s ended up hurt. He’s upset with himself, with you, and with the person you’re dating. It’s a festering wound that can’t be healed, only growing worse as he leaves it unattended. He’ll stop responding to your texts and calls, giving you the cold shoulder.
It doesn’t take more than a few days for him to give up on that. Your presence is far too addicting, and going without you makes him feel worse. The extra time to be alone with his thoughts is a nightmare. He’ll pop back into your life as if nothing ever happened, waving off any concerns you had about him randomly withdrawing. The only catharsis he experiences is when he beats the guy to an inch of his life later, and then allowing Purple Haze to get rid of the evidence.
“Hm? That? I told you, work picked up and I got busy. If you missed me so much, just say.”
Bucciarati:
He’s similar to Giorno, where he knows his worth. Bucciarati doesn’t view himself as perfect per se, knowing his own shortcomings, but believes he could make you happy. Having all the resources to do so, and plenty of love to offer you to accompany it. How he deals with it depends on your level of attachment, but you can expect a lot of strings being pulled behind the scenes.
Everyone in the community adores Bucciarati. He’s a beloved figure who people look up to, giving him some helpful leeway. Why should you have any reason to disbelieve him when Bucciarati voices concerns about your lover? He’ll take you out to dinner one night, in private, then provide photos (possibly forged or staged), of your partner being involved in unsavory business. Then he’ll be the shoulder you cry on afterwards, soothing you and cooing encouragement into your ear.
Sets himself up to be a savior in your eyes. Don’t worry about a thing, he’ll handle all of it. If you feel too scared to go back to your residence, you can always stay the night with him. Or however long you need. You could never be a burden, and he’ll assure you of that. This act of benevolence is hard to pass on, as Bucciarati lulls you into a false sense of security.
“Shh, shh… I know, I know. It hurts, but don’t forget to take care of yourself. Let’s get you to bed, you’ve had a long day.”
Abbacchio:
He doesn’t like how he feels. Getting close to others, while tempting, opens up too many hurtful possibilities. Shame, regret, betrayal… all of it has been heaped on him before, why would he ever want to experience it again? So when you in all of your kindness manages to capture his tattered heart, he’s at a loss. Abbacchio gave up on any attempts of happiness long ago, and yet, here you are. And here he is, a fool in love, feeling undeserving.
There’s a lot of alcohol gone through the night he figures out you’re not single. Self deprecating thoughts, just wanting to black out and forget about it all. Of course. Of course someone as good as you would be taken, he’s an idiot to think otherwise. Knowing that someone else is your comfort, your happiness, makes him sick to his stomach. He eventually just blacks out, and he’s grateful for the release unconsciousness brings.
Unfortunately, when he wakes up, it all hits him again like a bag of bricks. As tempting as it is to hole himself up in his apartment and wallow in his misery, he has to come out eventually. So when he does, his mind is at work. Doing his own research on your partner, disappointed to find nothing exploitable. He despises himself the entire time – feeling disgusting and utterly corrupt – but is too far gone. He’s human, he’s selfish. And he’s nothing without the light you bring.
“I’m saying this for your own sake. Be more careful, you’re so naive. You don’t know how many people might try to take advantage of that.”
Babette and Focaccia I drew some weeks ago and I've been forgetting to publish heheheheeh♡♡♡♡ look at them swapping outfits aren't they cute?💕
lovely Focaccia belongs to @jellyluchi ♡ thank you for letting me draw her tahi♡
bonus 🤭💘
Farfalle!!!! ♡♡♡ such a fun character to draw! I'm still improving this may not be the best!! but I'm proud of it💕
@theclockworkkidart thank you for letting me draw them♡ still have a few more drawings to finish hehe
inspo:
"How would the team react to their p*rno being found?"
Drawn By: @ino_matome on Twitter [click]
Saw a post about how beautiful Bruno is and I think is true
I love how bucciarari goes from cold and dangerous looking, like in his first encounter with giorno:
To still badass but also soft and cutie:
Bruno Bucciarati!!
💌Valentine's Day special!💌
La Squadra wants to take you out on a date! fem!reader
TW: Curses, Blasphemy, Striscia la notizia, Slurs
Valentine's Day, Naples
19:30 (6:30 p.m)
The headquarters are strangely silent. Bizarre. There's tension in the air, it's just like mission time, everyone's waiting for the enemy's slip up.
19:45 (6:45 p.m.)
The bathroom door on the second floor slightly opens. Pesci nervously checks out the surroundings. There's no one around. Even the hallway's mirror is clean. With a sigh of relief, the man carefully slips out of the bathroom, slowly closing the door on his way back. Before He can take another step, a familiar voice interrupts the quiet hallway.
"Pesci."
Prosciutto suddenly appears behind Pesci'back, startling him.
"AH!! Cazzo Fra', mi hai fatto prendere un colpo, c-che c'è, Prosciutto?"
(AH!!! Damn Fra', you scared the shit out of me, w-what's up, Prosciutto?)
Prosciutto slowly traps the poor guy against the door by menacingly getting closer to him.
"Come mai ti stai preparando? Esci con qualcuno?"
(Why did you get so dressed up for? Do you have a date with someone?)
Alea acta est. The die is cast. Prosciutto can spot a lie from a mile, so telling the truth is the only way around.Pesci is so upset that he's becoming part of the wooden door.
"In effetti teng' un appuntamento! Emh... Più o meno...S-Spero mi dica di sì..."
(I actually have a date! Um... Sort of...I-hope She'll say yes....)
By nervously looking down, Pesci notices that his Fra' his wearing his jimmy Choo's loafers with argyle socks... He only wears them when He's going out with a woman!
"Oh, ora è tutto chiaro. Buona fortuna allora...vai pure-"
(Oh, I see...Good luck then, you can go-)
Before Prosciutto can finish his sentence, Pesci frees himself detaching his body from the door while heading for the stairs.
"Emm.. grazie,frà..."
The guy is almost free, but suddenly a clock of a gun freezes his body. Pesci can literally feel the cold metal pushing into his neck.
"Pesci, Pesci, Pesci non mi hai lasciato finire-"
(Pesci, Pesci, Pesci, you didn't let me finish)
Prosciutto smiles.
" ...vai pure a casetta tua, caro il mio mammone, questa sera la signorina viene a cena con me. So benissimo che vuoi chiedere alla nuova arrivata di uscire...ma vedi, lei non è cosa per te..."
(...you can go back to your room, my dear mammone, the girl is having dinner with me this evening. and yes, I know you were trying to ask the new girl out...But You see, You're not her type.She's too good for you.)
He's trying to destroy his friend confidence. He's actually never been so mean but He's crazy about you and of course He's not the kind of guy who shares...
" ...Il 'buona fortuna' era per le tue minuscole cervella'.Una cazzata e te le faccio saltare."
(...The 'good luck' was for your tiny brains.One sudden move and I'll blow them out.)
Pesci quickly raises both of his hands as he feels a cold gun slide pressing between his neck and nape.
"FRÀTM MA SI USCIT' PAZZ?!"
(FRÀ Have you gone CRAZY?!)
"Zitto cocco di mamma. Ringrazia che non stia usando Grateful Death"
(Shut it mama's boy. You should feel Grateful that I'm not using my stand to knock you out.)
The situation is about to escalate to the worst when all of a sudden, the two gangsters hear a familiar whistling. Someone's coming from the stairs, merrily whistling "La donna è mobile" by Giuseppe Verdi. It's Formaggio! The man is hiding what looks like a heart shape box of Baci Perugina and a bottle of Falanghina wine under his right arm as he enters the hallway with nonchalance, pretending those two aren't even there.
" 'Sera"
" 'Sera...Oh aspetta un momento, FORMAGGIO DOVE PENSI DI ANDARE?!."
('Sera, Hey hold on a second, FORMAGGIO WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!)
"Mecojoni…"
Formaggio immediately sprints to the stairs leading to the attic, where your room is located. His plan was to show up to your room with chocolate and wine, so the two of you could get drunk and possibly fuck. Unfortunately for him, his plans quickly go up in smoke. But before he can even set his foot on the first stair-step, Formaggio is tackled by Prosciutto and Pesci. Luckily, the bottle doesn't break, but the Box gets crushed by Formaggio's own body.
"AARGH!Levatevi di dosso 'a infami froc*aroli!! Prosciutto io te sdrumo!! Te- AO!! LEVATE! T’arivorto come ‘n pedalino PORCODD*O! Me stai a sgara’ li cojoni!!LEVATE!"
(AARGH! Get off me you thirsty fagg*ts!!! Prosciutto I'm going to destroy you! I'm-AO!! GET OFF ME! I'll skin you alive PORCODD*O!You're pissing me off! GET UP!)
"OHI Pesci! Tienilo fermo!"
(Ohi Pesci,hold him!)
"Ci sto provando, Fra'!"
(I'm trying,Fra'!)
Formaggio starts loudly protesting in roman slang and tries to kick the two guys off. In a fit of exasperation, His left hand is about to reach the bottle of Falanghina that rolled a few meters away. Before he can actually grab the wine, a pair of red sneakers step right near his head. Ghiaccio's exited his bedroom, and He doesn't seem in a good mood.
"Formaggio..."
he growls
"Adexo mi spiegate perché, Cancaro di quel D*O, STATE IN MEZZO AL CORRIDOIO A INGROPPARVI A VICENDA!?DIOCANE ! NON C'È MAI PACE IN QUESTO BUCO DI MERDA!STATE SEMPRE A FARE BORDELLO!DIOPOMPELMO"
(Care to explain why YOU FUCKING 'TARDS ARE TRYING TO FINGER EACH OTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY?! D*O CANE! THERE'S NEVER PEACE IN THIS SHITHOLE!).
Prosciutto gets up, not cause Ghiaccio told them to, but because his Gucci suit is wrinkling. Formaggio has now the occasion to shake Pesci off his back and stand up again.
"State a pattina’ sur filo der vaffanculo. Guardate come mi avete ridotto la scatola di cioccolatini!"
(You're on thin ice. Just look at what you've done to my box of chocolates!)
He counters while picking up the heart-shaped box, it looks like someone ran over it with their car.
"Quanto baccano per una festa così mediocre"
(So much fuss for such a mediocre celebration)
The tall figure of illuso leaned over the giant hallway mirror. With a sly smile, Illuso approaches the small group, observing them almost with a sense of superiority. All He need is his charme to make you falla at his feet. At least, this is what He thinks...
"Comunque I Ferrero Rochet sono più bboni dei Baci Perugina"
(Ferrero Rocher are better than Baci Perugina)
"Ah. Ora siamo anche degli esperti di cioccolatini!Mio Maître chocolatier del cazzo!"
(Ah. Now we're also chocolate experts! My fucking Maître chocolatier!))
"Guarda che ti hanno fatto un favore.Ma dove vorresti andare con quella robaccia da due soldi? Che poraccio."
(They did you a favor. What do you think you're doing with that cheap junk? Such a lack of taste.)
"Illuso.Te do ‘na pizza che t’arestano pe’ vagabondaggio!!!"
(Illuso. If You don't shut up, I AM gonna smack the taste out of your mouth!!)
"OH MA PORCAMAD*NNA CHE COSA TI HO APPENA DETO,FORMAGGIO?!"
(OH PORCAMD*NNA, WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TOLD YOU FORMAGGIO!?)
"Non urlare, deficente."
(Stop screaming, you stupid.)
counters Prosciutto while checking his hair in the same mirror Illuso used.
"Scusa Ghiaccio, Che cos'hai in mano?"
(Sorry Ghiaccio, What's that thing you're holding?)
Asks Pesci, interrupting the trio and pointing at the man's hand. Ghiaccio goes silent. He's clearly holding what looks like a love letter squeezed between his fist.
"...Bolletta dell'Enel."
(...Light bill.)
And Ghiaccio Lied.
"Oh ma davvero?Non ti avevano bandito dalle Poste Italiane di Napoli dopo che hai preso a calci la torretta Spid? E da quando la bolletta dell'Enel è piena di cuoricini?"
(Oh really? Weren't you banned from the Naples Post Office after you kicked their ATM ? And since when are there tiny hearts on the light bill?)
Finally Ghiaccio comes clean
"E VA BENE! È una lettera per voi sapete chi, l'ho scritta di mio pugno e-"
( ALRIGHT FINE! It's a letter for you know who, I wrote it myself and...)
Illuso cuts him immediately:
"-HAHAHAH! Una lettera?! E chi sei? Mio nonno in guerra??"
( -HAHAH! A letter?! Who do you think you are? My grandpa during the war?!)
" 'TASI MONA CHE TE DAGO UNA SMEMENA DIOCAN! Io e lei siamo estremamente compatibili! LO AMERA' '"
(SHUT UP YOU IDIOT, SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS, DIOCAN! We're the perfect match! She will LOVE it! )
"compatibili?"
(The perfect...match?)
Suddenly, the door on their left creaks, opening with exasperating slowness. Melone is plunged into darkness, his face lit only by his languid laptop.
"Non penso proprio, bischeri. Sehondo ir mio Baby Face, io e la cittina siamo compatibili al 97% ma stasera ho intenzione di trascinarla nel mio letto e di provare ogni posizione possibile!! ANDRÀ DI MORTO BENE!"
(You guys are so naive. According to my Baby Face, the new girl and I have a solid 97% chance to be compatible. But tonight is the night, I am going to drag her into my bed and try every sexual position possible to see if the percentage gets higher!!! DI MOLTO!)
"Il mostro di Firenze, Signori."
(Gentlemens, The Monster of Florence)
Remarks Prosciutto in disgust and Ghiaccio immediately follows:
"TU NON STAI BENE CAZZO. CURATI."
(YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE, GET SOME HELP, MELONE!)
"A zorro, ariccojte ‘a sciabbola, che neanche tu fai 100"
(Calm down Ghiaccio, You're not 100% sane either.)
counters Formaggio while wheezing.
"Andateci piano, picciriddi."
(Quiet,children.)
"We,Parli tu Forma? Ma figurati se la nuova ragazza vuole anche solo avvicinarsi a un pirla come te"
(You're one who's talking, Forma? The new girl doesn't even want to get close to a jerk like you.)
" Devi solo che abbozzà, che quando parli sembri er cazzo de Gabibbo!!"
((Try me bitch, You're nothing but a cheapskate, You didn't even got her a present!)
"A chi hai dato del Genovese Brutto pezzo di merda?!"
(Who did you call cheapskate you piece of shit?!)
"Di morto bene~ Boia deh, ora son guai."
(Di molto~ You can start the catfight!"
" TASI MELONE. TANTO SAPPIAMO TUTTI CHE SEI UN PISANO DI MERDA.MI SON ROTTO IL CAZZO IO VADO SU"
(SHUT YOUR MOUTH MELONE, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! THAT'S IT. I'M GOING UPSTAIRS!!)
"OH. Non pensarci nemmeno, minchione!!"
(OH. Don't you even think about it, bitch!!)
The entire gang tries to rush up the stairs, all at once, squirming and frantically attempting to block each other's way, until...
"Uagliò..Sento dei passi"
(Guys...I hear footsteps...)
"Sta scendendo..." For some reason, Prosciutto is not so sure. However, He's still hearing the footsteps.
( She' s on her way down..)
"Giù, giù, giù! Fate come se niente fosse!"
(Back off! Back off! Back off!!Quickly! Act like nothing happened )
All the men display themselves along the hallway as if they were on the cover of Vogue Italia. As they are posing like professional models, the footsteps get closer.
"Stiamo a fare comunella come le scolarette nei bagni?"
( Mumbling and Cackling like schoolgirls in a bathroom?)
Risotto emerges from the shadows, holding a bouquet of black roses almost as big as he is. The tension is palpable. Before anyone else can actually say a single thing, Risotto cuts it short:
" La picciotta ha già un appuntamento stasera."
(She's already on a date with someone else.)
#E CON CHI??!#
#WITH WHO??!#
20:02 (08:02 p.m)
Meanwhile in a romantic restaurant called "Renzo e Lucia", a man with a black bob cut and eyes as blue as the sea, is merrily chatting with you as he holds your hand.
Bruno: Che cosa ti va mangiare, amore?
(What would like to eat, amore?)
thonkin thonkin about being Mista's girlfriend but getting absolutely lovestruck by Bruno upon meeting him and his other friends......... secret encounters..... forbidden love...... makes me horknee
(Spoilers for JoJo Part 5/Golden Wind/Vento Aureo⚠️)
One of the moments that make me always really sad for Bruno was when Abbacchio died and he tried so hard to not breakdown. So hard that when he bites his lip it starts bleeding.
The way he bites his lip is something small but it says a lot how he feels about this and how much it hurt him. He is trying so much to not cry and grief but move forward instead. He has to be the leader and can’t show any weakness but he’s still human and he lost someone he cared about.
He is in pain. He failed at protecting someone.
In the anime it’s even portrayed more emotional imo. Bruno’s voice actor did an amazing job at sounding stern and angry that Narancia is going against his orders (and is afraid he will be the next) but you can hear its getting difficult for him to keep his cool.
I will always see it as symbolism that when Narancia is crying and screaming like crazy and begs him to stay …that’s what Bruno wants to do.
Just cry…
💌Valentine's Day special!💌
La Squadra wants to take you out on a date! fem!reader
TW: Curses, Blasphemy, Striscia la notizia, Slurs
Valentine's Day, Naples
19:30 (6:30 p.m)
The headquarters are strangely silent. Bizarre. There's tension in the air, it's just like mission time, everyone's waiting for the enemy's slip up.
19:45 (6:45 p.m.)
The bathroom door on the second floor slightly opens. Pesci nervously checks out the surroundings. There's no one around. Even the hallway's mirror is clean. With a sigh of relief, the man carefully slips out of the bathroom, slowly closing the door on his way back. Before He can take another step, a familiar voice interrupts the quiet hallway.
"Pesci."
Prosciutto suddenly appears behind Pesci'back, startling him.
"AH!! Cazzo Fra', mi hai fatto prendere un colpo, c-che c'è, Prosciutto?"
(AH!!! Damn Fra', you scared the shit out of me, w-what's up, Prosciutto?)
Prosciutto slowly traps the poor guy against the door by menacingly getting closer to him.
"Come mai ti stai preparando? Esci con qualcuno?"
(Why did you get so dressed up for? Do you have a date with someone?)
Alea acta est. The die is cast. Prosciutto can spot a lie from a mile, so telling the truth is the only way around.Pesci is so upset that he's becoming part of the wooden door.
"In effetti teng' un appuntamento! Emh... Più o meno...S-Spero mi dica di sì..."
(I actually have a date! Um... Sort of...I-hope She'll say yes....)
By nervously looking down, Pesci notices that his Fra' his wearing his jimmy Choo's loafers with argyle socks... He only wears them when He's going out with a woman!
"Oh, ora è tutto chiaro. Buona fortuna allora...vai pure-"
(Oh, I see...Good luck then, you can go-)
Before Prosciutto can finish his sentence, Pesci frees himself detaching his body from the door while heading for the stairs.
"Emm.. grazie,frà..."
The guy is almost free, but suddenly a clock of a gun freezes his body. Pesci can literally feel the cold metal pushing into his neck.
"Pesci, Pesci, Pesci non mi hai lasciato finire-"
(Pesci, Pesci, Pesci, you didn't let me finish)
Prosciutto smiles.
" ...vai pure a casetta tua, caro il mio mammone, questa sera la signorina viene a cena con me. So benissimo che vuoi chiedere alla nuova arrivata di uscire...ma vedi, lei non è cosa per te..."
(...you can go back to your room, my dear mammone, the girl is having dinner with me this evening. and yes, I know you were trying to ask the new girl out...But You see, You're not her type.She's too good for you.)
He's trying to destroy his friend confidence. He's actually never been so mean but He's crazy about you and of course He's not the kind of guy who shares...
" ...Il 'buona fortuna' era per le tue minuscole cervella'.Una cazzata e te le faccio saltare."
(...The 'good luck' was for your tiny brains.One sudden move and I'll blow them out.)
Pesci quickly raises both of his hands as he feels a cold gun slide pressing between his neck and nape.
"FRÀTM MA SI USCIT' PAZZ?!"
(FRÀ Have you gone CRAZY?!)
"Zitto cocco di mamma. Ringrazia che non stia usando Grateful Death"
(Shut it mama's boy. You should feel Grateful that I'm not using my stand to knock you out.)
The situation is about to escalate to the worst when all of a sudden, the two gangsters hear a familiar whistling. Someone's coming from the stairs, merrily whistling "La donna è mobile" by Giuseppe Verdi. It's Formaggio! The man is hiding what looks like a heart shape box of Baci Perugina and a bottle of Falanghina wine under his right arm as he enters the hallway with nonchalance, pretending those two aren't even there.
" 'Sera"
" 'Sera...Oh aspetta un momento, FORMAGGIO DOVE PENSI DI ANDARE?!."
('Sera, Hey hold on a second, FORMAGGIO WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!)
"Mecojoni…"
Formaggio immediately sprints to the stairs leading to the attic, where your room is located. His plan was to show up to your room with chocolate and wine, so the two of you could get drunk and possibly fuck. Unfortunately for him, his plans quickly go up in smoke. But before he can even set his foot on the first stair-step, Formaggio is tackled by Prosciutto and Pesci. Luckily, the bottle doesn't break, but the Box gets crushed by Formaggio's own body.
"AARGH!Levatevi di dosso 'a infami froc*aroli!! Prosciutto io te sdrumo!! Te- AO!! LEVATE! T’arivorto come ‘n pedalino PORCODD*O! Me stai a sgara’ li cojoni!!LEVATE!"
(AARGH! Get off me you thirsty fagg*ts!!! Prosciutto I'm going to destroy you! I'm-AO!! GET OFF ME! I'll skin you alive PORCODD*O!You're pissing me off! GET UP!)
"OHI Pesci! Tienilo fermo!"
(Ohi Pesci,hold him!)
"Ci sto provando, Fra'!"
(I'm trying,Fra'!)
Formaggio starts loudly protesting in roman slang and tries to kick the two guys off. In a fit of exasperation, His left hand is about to reach the bottle of Falanghina that rolled a few meters away. Before he can actually grab the wine, a pair of red sneakers step right near his head. Ghiaccio's exited his bedroom, and He doesn't seem in a good mood.
"Formaggio..."
he growls
"Adexo mi spiegate perché, Cancaro di quel D*O, STATE IN MEZZO AL CORRIDOIO A INGROPPARVI A VICENDA!?DIOCANE ! NON C'È MAI PACE IN QUESTO BUCO DI MERDA!STATE SEMPRE A FARE BORDELLO!DIOPOMPELMO"
(Care to explain why YOU FUCKING 'TARDS ARE TRYING TO FINGER EACH OTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY?! D*O CANE! THERE'S NEVER PEACE IN THIS SHITHOLE!).
Prosciutto gets up, not cause Ghiaccio told them to, but because his Gucci suit is wrinkling. Formaggio has now the occasion to shake Pesci off his back and stand up again.
"State a pattina’ sur filo der vaffanculo. Guardate come mi avete ridotto la scatola di cioccolatini!"
(You're on thin ice. Just look at what you've done to my box of chocolates!)
He counters while picking up the heart-shaped box, it looks like someone ran over it with their car.
"Quanto baccano per una festa così mediocre"
(So much fuss for such a mediocre celebration)
The tall figure of illuso leaned over the giant hallway mirror. With a sly smile, Illuso approaches the small group, observing them almost with a sense of superiority. All He need is his charme to make you falla at his feet. At least, this is what He thinks...
"Comunque I Ferrero Rochet sono più bboni dei Baci Perugina"
(Ferrero Rocher are better than Baci Perugina)
"Ah. Ora siamo anche degli esperti di cioccolatini!Mio Maître chocolatier del cazzo!"
(Ah. Now we're also chocolate experts! My fucking Maître chocolatier!))
"Guarda che ti hanno fatto un favore.Ma dove vorresti andare con quella robaccia da due soldi? Che poraccio."
(They did you a favor. What do you think you're doing with that cheap junk? Such a lack of taste.)
"Illuso.Te do ‘na pizza che t’arestano pe’ vagabondaggio!!!"
(Illuso. If You don't shut up, I AM gonna smack the taste out of your mouth!!)
"OH MA PORCAMAD*NNA CHE COSA TI HO APPENA DETO,FORMAGGIO?!"
(OH PORCAMD*NNA, WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST TOLD YOU FORMAGGIO!?)
"Non urlare, deficente."
(Stop screaming, you stupid.)
counters Prosciutto while checking his hair in the same mirror Illuso used.
"Scusa Ghiaccio, Che cos'hai in mano?"
(Sorry Ghiaccio, What's that thing you're holding?)
Asks Pesci, interrupting the trio and pointing at the man's hand. Ghiaccio goes silent. He's clearly holding what looks like a love letter squeezed between his fist.
"...Bolletta dell'Enel."
(...Light bill.)
And Ghiaccio Lied.
"Oh ma davvero?Non ti avevano bandito dalle Poste Italiane di Napoli dopo che hai preso a calci la torretta Spid? E da quando la bolletta dell'Enel è piena di cuoricini?"
(Oh really? Weren't you banned from the Naples Post Office after you kicked their ATM ? And since when are there tiny hearts on the light bill?)
Finally Ghiaccio comes clean
"E VA BENE! È una lettera per voi sapete chi, l'ho scritta di mio pugno e-"
( ALRIGHT FINE! It's a letter for you know who, I wrote it myself and...)
Illuso cuts him immediately:
"-HAHAHAH! Una lettera?! E chi sei? Mio nonno in guerra??"
( -HAHAH! A letter?! Who do you think you are? My grandpa during the war?!)
" 'TASI MONA CHE TE DAGO UNA SMEMENA DIOCAN! Io e lei siamo estremamente compatibili! LO AMERA' '"
(SHUT UP YOU IDIOT, SOONER OR LATER YOU'RE GONNA CATCH THESE HANDS, DIOCAN! We're the perfect match! She will LOVE it! )
"compatibili?"
(The perfect...match?)
Suddenly, the door on their left creaks, opening with exasperating slowness. Melone is plunged into darkness, his face lit only by his languid laptop.
"Non penso proprio, bischeri. Sehondo ir mio Baby Face, io e la cittina siamo compatibili al 97% ma stasera ho intenzione di trascinarla nel mio letto e di provare ogni posizione possibile!! ANDRÀ DI MORTO BENE!"
(You guys are so naive. According to my Baby Face, the new girl and I have a solid 97% chance to be compatible. But tonight is the night, I am going to drag her into my bed and try every sexual position possible to see if the percentage gets higher!!! DI MOLTO!)
"Il mostro di Firenze, Signori."
(Gentlemens, The Monster of Florence)
Remarks Prosciutto in disgust and Ghiaccio immediately follows:
"TU NON STAI BENE CAZZO. CURATI."
(YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE, GET SOME HELP, MELONE!)
"A zorro, ariccojte ‘a sciabbola, che neanche tu fai 100"
(Calm down Ghiaccio, You're not 100% sane either.)
counters Formaggio while wheezing.
"Andateci piano, picciriddi."
(Quiet,children.)
"We,Parli tu Forma? Ma figurati se la nuova ragazza vuole anche solo avvicinarsi a un pirla come te"
(You're one who's talking, Forma? The new girl doesn't even want to get close to a jerk like you.)
" Devi solo che abbozzà, che quando parli sembri er cazzo de Gabibbo!!"
((Try me bitch, You're nothing but a cheapskate, You didn't even got her a present!)
"A chi hai dato del Genovese Brutto pezzo di merda?!"
(Who did you call cheapskate you piece of shit?!)
"Di morto bene~ Boia deh, ora son guai."
(Di molto~ You can start the catfight!"
" TASI MELONE. TANTO SAPPIAMO TUTTI CHE SEI UN PISANO DI MERDA.MI SON ROTTO IL CAZZO IO VADO SU"
(SHUT YOUR MOUTH MELONE, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! THAT'S IT. I'M GOING UPSTAIRS!!)
"OH. Non pensarci nemmeno, minchione!!"
(OH. Don't you even think about it, bitch!!)
The entire gang tries to rush up the stairs, all at once, squirming and frantically attempting to block each other's way, until...
"Uagliò..Sento dei passi"
(Guys...I hear footsteps...)
"Sta scendendo..." For some reason, Prosciutto is not so sure. However, He's still hearing the footsteps.
( She' s on her way down..)
"Giù, giù, giù! Fate come se niente fosse!"
(Back off! Back off! Back off!!Quickly! Act like nothing happened )
All the men display themselves along the hallway as if they were on the cover of Vogue Italia. As they are posing like professional models, the footsteps get closer.
"Stiamo a fare comunella come le scolarette nei bagni?"
( Mumbling and Cackling like schoolgirls in a bathroom?)
Risotto emerges from the shadows, holding a bouquet of black roses almost as big as he is. The tension is palpable. Before anyone else can actually say a single thing, Risotto cuts it short:
" La picciotta ha già un appuntamento stasera."
(She's already on a date with someone else.)
#E CON CHI??!#
#WITH WHO??!#
20:02 (08:02 p.m)
Meanwhile in a romantic restaurant called "Renzo e Lucia", a man with a black bob cut and eyes as blue as the sea, is merrily chatting with you as he holds your hand.
Bruno: Che cosa ti va mangiare, amore?
(What would like to eat, amore?)
I Know You're Out There Somewhere
Yeah, I’m going to call bullshit on that Bucciarati.
I’m sure HE KNOWS people stare at him with that big boob window
And perhaps he likes it
Someone lit himself on fire trying to make a grilled cheese
based an idea i had from my tweets. in my heart if bruno was there for mistas meat talk this is how it’d go down
said tweet under cut
I found a old Bruno colored panel I did from the manga because I love Pizza Bruno
(Sorry I wasn’t in the mood to color the background because he was my main focus PFFFFF)
He seems so happy I wonder why
(Mini (messy?) doodle comic under the cut)
Idk but it’s cute in my head that if Bruno was super in love with his partner he would be like that (and wouldn’t really want to announce that he has a s/o and it would happen later on that he mentions it to his crew)