Burning Home - Tumblr Posts

for the first time, i actually want to tell you something, let you in on my life.

not for the burn but for the warmth, because i love you and i want you in my life.

but you are one of the people who light the fire burning in that house. and you don’t love me enough to look past your own opinions. you don’t love me enough to put down the matches.

you don’t love me enough.

so i have to plan around the burning home. i plan an escape route, and check all the fire alarms. i fill water buckets and leave all the windows unlocked. i make sure i’m prepared for the flames, for every scenario.

becuase otherwise i will choke on the smoke that used to keep me warm.

you love me but it’s not enough and it never will be. that’s the tragedy.

i’m grateful you stormed out instead of spiting your harsh words at me.

perhaps in another universe you are happy for me instead.

perhaps in another universe i know how our arguments make me feel.

it starts now. i choose kindness, i choose peace, i choose love.

from the ashes of that burning home i will forge a life of pure love and hope. i will tend to my wounds. i will heal and grow. and if you get left behind that’s not on me. you can choose to stay and choke on the smoke.

i’m going to soothe my wounds in the cool water of her embrace.

i’m going to heal.

it's difficult when you've only ever been loved like a dog. who am i without my tricks? my loyalty? my devotion to you? who am i when you leave me at the kennel, who am i when i run away from home?