But Youre Getting It Anyways - Tumblr Posts

Nobody asked but here are some of my Dwarf head cannons to go along with my hobbit ones:

-they are also middle earth cryptids but its in the way that they so rarely leave their home people just…forget they exsist sometimes

-the women folk are extremely rare (this is cannon) and are used to doing hard physical labor to make ends meet and therefore have much smaller chests than other races (which helps them disguise themselves as men easier!!(unless they grew up rich and didn’t have to, but they still probably did work in their craft/weapon of choice that made their chest look more like pecs))

-THE WOMEN HAVE BEARDS TOO!!!!!!

-they have big ears (as seen by the prosthetics the dwarf cast of TH wore) so that they can hear each other over roaring forges or big mine shafts that would normally be hard to hear in (this is the same reason for their canonically good eyesight especially in the dark)

-they have really good lungs too!! Bc some mines are bound to be dangerous and full of (normally) harmful particles in the air but it doesn’t affect them

-their features are hard and jagged and look like they are made from stone (which adds to myths that they are made from stone on account of them being so sturdy and strong) but they aren’t (they don’t deny this though—it helps keep their super secret dwarrow culture™️ hidden away from outsiders)

-their skin is just like..a little gray(grey?). Not in like a sickly or bad way. They just are..a little grey. And pre-Erebor fall they were pretty pale but post- Erebor fall they got a tan due to working out in the sun

-there are probably a lot of half-dwarrow mixed in with the race of men bc women are rare and they need to further the population somehow (or just genuinely fell for a non-dwarf)

-Mahal and Yavana are married and therefore Hobbits and Dwarrow are brother-species who are yin and yang to each other but live too far apart from each other to realize (both races are also very suspicious in general too)

My own personal hobbit head cannons include:

-they are the middle earth equivalent of cryptids (the people of Bree play along for the bit)

-hobbits have tails because they are from the earth and connected to animals and nature in a much deeper way than anyone realizes and so they have tails as a result

-they also have animal like features/habbits (like wiggling their noses, their ears can droop and raise (like how people can raise an eyebrow), or sharp almost feral looking eyes at times)

-their feet are large and leathery but look more similar to paws and are designed so they can scurry around faster or run on all fours/crawl easier

-THEY HAVE DARK SKIN!!!!!!(they are a people of farmers!! THEYD HAVE A TAN!! VERY FEW HOBBITS ARE ACTUALLY PALE!!!!!)

-so.many.freckles

-Yavana planted them from the ground and so they can plant their own faunts from the ground too, but most just do it the other way

-they literally HAVE to eat green foods, because if they don’t they get really sick and could die since they are from the earth and it helps keep their connection (and by extension themselves) strong boned and as ablebodied as possible

Thank you for coming to me TedTalk.