Captain America And The Winter Soldier Imagine - Tumblr Posts
Finding Your Way Back (Part 1)
Click here for my masterlist.
Click here to add yourself to my taglist.
Prompts -310 - “Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!"
Click Here for Part Two.
You tried desperately to hold on to several thoughts, tried so hard not to let them stop running through your head. You had no idea how long you’d been gone for but it was long enough that you were barely functioning.
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’
There used to be more thoughts, you were sure there used to be more thoughts but you couldn’t remember them anymore. You thought there might’ve been another name, another something, anything, but you didn’t know any more.
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’
They had taken you so easily, strapped you down in a chair until you couldn’t remember who you were before. You used to have more thoughts but they were gone now.
Now you didn’t remember anything that happened, you couldn’t feel your own body, did you even have a body anymore? There used to be pain but now there wasn’t. Were you dead?
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’
Sometimes you heard people, voices, cars, sounds, but you didn’t register them completely. Never knew exactly what you were hearing. You felt cold, so cold, a lot of the time but then sometimes you felt cool air, like you were outside but you couldn’t remember.
Why couldn’t you remember?
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger. I have magic.’
There used to be pain. Now there was nothing.
-
“Tell me you found something?” Bucky asked as he walked into Tony’s workshop. You’d been missing for four months, four months of Bucky trying to track you down but HYDRA had become smarter. There were less of them now that the Avengers had started taking them out but they were smarter now that they had you, you were their secret weapon.
The magic you held was powerful, more powerful than anyone should have access to. Forged by an infinity stone, the power should've killed you like it killed the hundreds before you but for some reason, one even the Sorcerer Supreme couldn’t even explain, the power had merged with you, making you one of the most powerful witches to walk the earth.
The abilities you had, well they were enough to bring the Earth to its knees. In the hands of HYDRA there was no telling what would happen.
Bucky knew you wouldn’t willingly follow their orders but he also knew how effective their methods were.
“She was spotted again.” Tony said, his voice heavy with sorrow. This was the seventh sighting of you, you looked worse and worse each time. By the time you were spotted you were gone before they could get to you.
It was like HYDRA was taunting them.
Wherever you were seen, shortly after a major disaster was reported, usually with dozens dead.
“You have to find her!” Bucky yelled, stalking towards Tony, effectively pinning him against the desk.
To Tony’s credit he didn’t flinch, he looked straight at Bucky with his head held high.
“I’m gonna find her, I promise you that much, I’m gonna bring her home.” Tony promised. He wouldn’t rest until you were safe.
“Every day she’s wondering why I’m not there!” Bucky tried to yell but his voice broke mid sentence as tears filled his eyes, he knew first hand how bad HYDRA could be, the thought of them hurting you-
“We’re gonna get her back, we won’t stop until we do.” Tony promised again, letting his hand rest on Bucky’s shoulder.
Bucky scrunched his eyes shut for a moment before nodding.
They were going to get you back.
-
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’
What was an Avenger? You couldn’t remember, you tried to, you tried so hard to remember but you couldn’t. The name didn’t mean anything to you anymore.
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I am an Avenger.’
Days and weeks dragged without you knowing. You sat there, were you sitting?, motionless. Some days you longed for the pain, anything to tell you that you were alive but nothing came.
Nothing ever came.
-
‘My name is Y/F/N Y/L/N.’
That was your name, you were Y/F/N Y/L/N. You didn’t know anything else any more, couldn’t remember anything else. Everything felt empty, you tried to remember what came after that but you couldn’t.
-
‘My name is Y/F/N.’
How long had it been? Days, time, it had no meaning to you anymore. You didn’t know what you were or if you were even real. Nothing happened ever, nothing that you could see, nothing you could feel, nothing you could remember.
‘My name is…’
-
“Holy crap!” Tony exclaimed as he looked at the data in front of him.
It had been seven months since your disappearance and not a day went by where Tony wasn’t looking for you. By now he had a long, long list of HYDRA bases, some abandoned, some active, but none ever held you.
He and JARVIS had been looking through the new data when they saw you. Your face was partially covered but the camera was at just the right angle.
It was definitely you.
Tony was quick to make his way up to where the jet was always on standby for such an occasion, he had already told everyone to suit up and meet him there.
“You found her?” Bucky asked as soon as Tony came into view.
“I found her.” Tony said, relief flooding his system. He knew it wasn’t going to be any easier, getting you out and dealing with the aftermath, but right now he just wanted to focus on the good news.
He was startled out of his thoughts when Bucky pulled him into a rough hug. The pair of them weren’t exactly friends but they got along just fine. Tony knew what Bucky was feeling though and hugged him back.
“Thank you.” Bucky whispered before pulling away and boarding the plane.
It took a good fews hours to get to where you were. In that time the team went over multiple different plans and ways to get you out. By the time they landed they had a fairly decent plan but still had no idea what they were walking into.
-
Outside your room sounds of guns and knives, metal and thunder could be heard by everyone except you.
You were oblivious to the absolute destruction that was happening in order to get you back. You had no idea that there were bodies piling higher and higher as the Avengers took down anyone who stood between you and them.
Bucky moved through the building as quickly and as quietly as he could. Though the trigger words were long gone, he had snapped back into the Winter Soldier faster than ever, using all his training against the people who created him.
He checked room after room, growling when he didn’t see you in any of them.
He had to stop, he had to think carefully. Bucky knew these monsters, he knew how they thought. If they knew there was even a slight chance somebody would come for their most powerful weapon, where would they hide her?
It took him less than thirty seconds to find an answer and then he threw stealth out the window as he ran down corridors, shouting through the comms for the team to meet up with him.
-
No thoughts ran through your head anymore.
You couldn’t remember who you were. You knew there used to be many things you were supposed to remember but you didn’t know anything anymore.
-
“She’s gonna be alright, Buck.” Steve said as he took a seat next to Bucky who was sitting at your side in the hospital.
“What if she’s not? Sure they think she’ll pull through physically but we’ve got no clue what they did to her head.” Bucky said. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, he felt defeated. Sure he had you back but what if he was too late, what if HYDRA had gone too far.
“It’s Y/N.” Steve said like that explained everything. “She’s a fighter.”
Bucky had nothing to say. Whilst it was true and you were one of the strongest people he knew, he also knew you were just a human. Sure the infinity stone had given you powers but ultimately you were still a human and there was only so much damage the human mind could take.
“She’ll pull through,” Steve said as he stood to leave, “She always does.”
-
It had taken a month and a half for your body to fully recover. In that time you were moved from the hospital and into the compound’s medical wing. Bucky had yet to leave your side for longer than a shower and forced meals that he swore he didn’t need. Any time away from you wasn’t worth it.
In the space of that month you had opened your eyes and twitched your fingers a few times but other than that made no move to wake up.
As the days went by the hope lessened significantly. Bucky spoke with you everyday, he begged and pleaded with you to just wake up, just let him know you were going to be ok. When he left your side to shower he cried, he punched the walls and broke most of the bathroom whilst cursing the world.
He’d apologised to Tony but the man shrugged it off, telling him to get back to his girl. The whole team was dealing with it pretty badly, most days the weather was terrible with thunder spreading right across New York.
“Please wake up, doll.” Bucky whispered, his voice cracking as he took your hand in his. “C’mon, doll you can do it.”
-
‘Doll.’
That wasn’t your name, at least you didn’t think it was your name.
A flicker of a memory, so faint you could barely recall it but you managed.
‘Doll.’
He called you that, the man with the metal arm. He called you doll but it wasn’t your name.
Who was he? You knew him somehow but you couldn’t remember. Why was he here? Was he one of the people who hurt you?
‘Just show me you're awake, ok? Just squeeze my hand if you can hear me, baby.’
Squeeze your hand, how? Did you have a body? You couldn’t feel it.
‘Just a little squeeze, c’mon baby, for me.’
It was the man with the metal arm. Nobody else called you baby or doll. At least you didn’t think so, it was hard to remember. The memories, they were so far away.
He sounded sad.
Your hand. He wanted you to move your hand. Where was it again?
Focus.
It took a long time but eventually you squeezed your hand, once, twice, three times.
‘Y/N, can you hear me?!”
Y/N!
That was your name, your name was Y/F/N….
You thought there was more, there should’ve been more but you couldn’t remember the next bit.
Instead you squeezed your hand again.
-
Bucky let out a slightly hysterical laugh as he looked down at you.
“Good job baby, that’s it. You’re doing great.” He praised as he looked at your hand like it was the best thing to grace the Earth. “So good.”
Doctors came swarming in when they were altered via JARVIS about the changes, chattering about how this was a good sign and where to go from here.
Bucky watched them from the doorway, a huge grin on his face.
He didn't doubted your strength but he also couldn’t deny HYDRA’s methods. They were enough to make anyone lose their mind but here you were finding your way back. It was going to be a long, exhausting road but you were finding your way back.
Read part two here.