Carmen Berzatto X You - Tumblr Posts
CINNAMON SUGAR — CARMEN BERZATTO
summary Carmen comes home to you late at night. Luckily, you manage to stay awake.
length 2k
contents absolutely zero plot, literally just a sweet n cute n sappy moment existing in a vacuum, holy shit so much fluff i might die (got the idea for this while listening to margaret & let the light in by lana del rey n it's realllll obvious), too many kisses to count, this is what he'd be like after intensive therapy i reckon, not proofread so be nice
Carmen opens the door to the bedroom carefully, minding the creaky hinge in the middle of the night. Moonlight peeks through the window, caught at the right time when the city doesn’t block its path into the apartment, giving just enough glow to the room to see you fast asleep in bed. It’s late, he realizes, even later than usual. He needs to work on that.
He makes his way to the bed, stopping at your side to kneel beside you and simply adore you: the curve of your nose, the plush of your lips in that pout you wear only when you’re asleep, the eyelashes laid against your cheeks.
You stir when he presses his lips to your temple, a soft groan pulled from your lips. “…Bear?”
“Yeah, ‘s me, baby.” Even at a whisper, he thinks he’s too loud, and with his rough and tired hand he brushes over the top of your head just light enough to keep you sleepy.
A drowsy hand reaches out from under the covers to smooth over the contours of his face, tracing along shadows made hazy by a few hours’ rest. “You coming to bed soon?”
“Almost,” he murmurs, smoothing a palm up your exposed arm to hold your hand steady. He pulls ever so slightly away from your palm, only to turn to land gentle kisses against its soft skin, worshiping the pieces of you that treat him with more care than he thinks he’s worthy of. “Needa take a shower first, alright? But I’ll be right back.”
He could’ve done that much by now—could’ve cleaned himself, rid himself of a day's work before seeing you—but truthfully, waiting any longer would’ve driven him mad. He would’ve been itchy in the shower, skin aflame knowing he could’ve felt your touch by then, arms and hands jittering to have your curves beneath them. His lips trail down to your wrist before he turns over your hand to kiss the backs of your fingers.
“Okay,” you answer, muffled by the blankets and pillow and the squeak of the floorboard as Carmen stands back up.
He makes his trip quick and quiet. He brushes his teeth and swipes up a towel while the water heats up, leaving just enough time to hang it on the hook and strip before hopping in. There’s a beat where he closes his eyes and just breathes, clears his mind of the day’s stress, lets warm water saturate his hair and cascade down his back. He lathers his hair with shampoo—the one you bought for him once to free him from the chains of 3-in-1 and that he’s been purchasing ever since to keep you happy—before cleaning the rest of his body, all while thinking about how much better it’d feel, how much more relief he’d get if it were you beside him under the stream instead of just his thoughts. But with the shampoo and soap down the drain goes that idea, much like the fleeting thought of using conditioner. You’ve yet to get to him on that one, especially at a moment like this, when time is of the essence and you’re waiting on him. Maybe another night, when you take your own product and swirl it around his curls; if it gives him an excuse to stay with you just a few minutes more, he’ll do it.
He hops out of the water like it’s acid and wraps the towel around his waist after drying himself to avoid trouble in the morning (you hate when the floor gets wet, and even if it wastes time, he’ll be sure to prevent that). Out goes the light again as he walks into the hall, sneaking back into the bedroom to get dressed into briefs and nothing more—you’ll keep him warm enough under the blankets.
It’s only then—when he peels back those final layers—that he realizes he’s been smiling the whole time.
Once he’s settled into the grooves of the mattress, chest to your back, you’re turning around to curl into his torso, like a magnetic field brought you there.
“Hey,” he coos, “Y’don’t have to move f’me, yeah? Just sleep, baby.” Moved by your eagerness, his arms curl around you, one along your waist as the other nicely fits comfortably into the space between your neck and shoulder.
And yet you shift a little more to cast an arm against his chest, his heart beating beneath your palm, head on his shoulder with a leg hooked onto his hip, split halfway between mattress and his body. “ ‘S more comfy this way, Carm.” You sigh and breathe deep into his skin. “You smell good, too.”
He can’t even lie well enough to convince himself his heart doesn’t run a million miles faster when you cozy up to him like this, caught in a space part fatigue and part love, with your hums ringing in his ear. “ ‘S that shampoo you got me a while ago…Sometime this week—” he yawns, and if he weren’t dying to hear your voice a few more times, he’d be a little more thankful for sleep coming so easily— “Sometime this week we can go t’the store, you can pick out another body wash f’me to try, too.”
“Mm, I’d like that.” You smooth your hand from his chest to his neck and shoulder, massaging there gently where he gets sore as a barely-there kiss lands to the skin beneath you. “How was it today?” The restaurant. His headaches. Richie’s mood lately. The flow of the kitchen. The strain in his back.
“Was alright,” he answers, as honestly as he can, soothing himself by brushing a hand up along your spine. “Real busy, so I didn’t get to leave ‘till late, ‘m sorry.”
“ ‘S alright, I stayed in and just relaxed for the night.” You snuggle into him a little deeper, and he thinks he could melt. “I was gonna ask you to bring something home, but it’s a weekend, so I didn’t wanna bother you in a rush.”
“What’d you want?”
From your lips comes a light and airy giggle, milliseconds of the best sounds he’s ever heard. “I just wanted some fries, honestly…didn’t feel like going out.”
“Heh,” he laughs, smiling while his eyes stay glued to the ceiling—as if looking at you would make the moment disappear. “I would’ve picked ‘em up for you, ‘r at least had Fak get ‘em to you.”
You yawn in tandem with the tailend of his thought, so your answer’s a bit softer. “Uh-uh, I like them better when you make ‘em.”
“Yeah? ‘ve I been pampering you too much?” He teases you, adds on a kiss to the top of your head as he squeezes you a bit tighter, but it’s all a ruse to cover up how much faster his pulse is when you say those words, like all the work he’s put in—all the love he has for you—makes its way to the table for not just anyone, but for you, the one person he’s sure matters more than the rest. More than those fucking stars, more than Chef of the Year, more than any critic’s review, more than he can wrap his head around; he feels it in his chest and that’s enough.
“Of course you have,” you agree, peeking up at him and craning your neck to plant your lips to his jaw, savoring it long enough to leave a smirk against his skin. “You’re always so sweet to me, Bear—” one more quick peck just beneath his ear— “love when you cook for me.”
He thinks he could pass out like this, with the last thing he hears being those words, but his fatigue seems to serve as an anesthetic that lets him soak it in for a bit longer, running his free hand through damp curls while a heavy, giddy sigh leaving his lips that lets you know he hears you, that he loves telling you he loves you through his art, that he lives for the smile on your face when he stays home for a few hours longer to make you breakfast. Yet with all the time spent having his shell soften for you, he can’t always find the right words, so he settles for the next best thing: “Y’know, uh…Marcus’s been playing around with recipes…”
He feels you smile against his chest, knowing what’s to come. “Yeah?”
“Mhm, an’ I’d never let ‘im serve ‘em, ‘cause, y’know…” He loses himself for a moment in the lull of your fingertips tracing mindless shapes into his chest. “They don’t fit the menu…but uh, he made these…these rolls today…”
“Mhm? ‘M listening…”
Carmen knew that, of course, from the faint kisses you peppered between breaths. He lets the fan whir through the gaps in his thoughts. “I think you’d like ‘em, he had some classic cinnamon, ‘n…a blueberry lemon goin’…”
“That sounds really good,” you whisper, the syllables lengthened from a shared lack of sleep.
“I know,” he drawls, and he’s a little too proud of himself for once when he adds, “Which is why I said I’d let ‘im fix up the lemon recipe a few more times if he made a batch for you.”
“Did you really?” The dazed smile comes through in your voice, a bubbliness to it that tells him he made the right call.
He figures that’s why he’s so drawn to you—all the right calls come easy to him, the effort feels natural and unpracticed, unlike the tar that builds in his throat when it comes to so many other people. With you, being good is anything but demanding. “ ‘F course, baby…”
It turns him to a puddle, the sweetness that drips from your fingertips, so he cradles your wrist carefully in his hand and lifts it to his lips to show it the love it deserves before urging the hand to busy itself with the tufts of hair behind his hear, to which you happily oblige. You twirl a lock around your finger, performing a methodical spiral, and even though he knows by the time it dries it’ll stick out from the mess like a sore thumb, he’d stop breathing before pulling your hand away. It’s soothing, that pattern. It stokes the fire in his gut that makes him feel a little less lonely when you’re not around.
“I brought…” He yawns again, his eyelids growing heavy. “I brought you some of the cinnamon rolls…Sugar liked ‘em…they’re on the counter for you tomorrow mornin'…” He’s not sure whether it’s your doing or the hours of stress endured throughout the day, but he knows this is the most relaxed he’s ever been, laying with you and doing little else other than indulging in your tender touches and shy kisses.
“Thank you, my love,” slips away with breath, sotto voce, as Carmen leaves brief kisses to your hairline.
And he thanks God for being able to do it even with such an intense fatigue washing over him—at least part of him does, the part that’s still awake—because the movement lets you tilt your head and graze your fingertips by his jaw, bringing his lips kindly to yours for the first and last time tonight. Somewhere in that beautiful tangle there’s a mutual agreement: an unspoken Goodnight, I love you, in the mix, a finality in his offering and your gracious thanks that doesn’t warrant anything more than your head tucked neatly into his neck, left to bask in the comfort of his arms wrapped around you.
Just like any other night with you, he can sleep peacefully with the unconscious push and pull of your bodies intertwined. He knows that by morning, you’ll still be in his arms, in the bed you share, waiting on your good morning kiss from under the covers.
And he’ll still be beneath your warmth, his mind fuzzy and full of tenderness, every part of him dying to marry you.
thinking about carmy and his gf who loves to bake and always wanted to become a pastry chef but never had the balls to do it but carmy starts to push her towards trying to achieve that goal and he helps her anyway he can, especially supporting her when she goes to school to become a pastry chef.
and he always reassures her when she think she's not good enough and helps her with practice and technique and just does everything to try and make her life as easy as possible. he packs her lunches for school and leaves little notes of encouragement and when a day is particularly tough or his gf is particularly upset about something, he just holds her and promises her that she can do it.
and when she feels so stuck that she wants to drop out, he does everything he can to remind her why she deserved to become a pastry chef and give her the reassurance she needed. he would support whether she wanted to drop out or not but he knows how much this dream means so he wants to help you with it.
even if that means neglecting the bear a little bit to make you happy and to help you achieve your dream. he'd achieved his dream (mostly), so he could put it on the back burner to help her achieve hers.
he's just so sweet and caring and willing to do anything to help his pretty gf
safe (carmy berzatto x reader)
prompt; day one, 'scary movies'
content warning(s); paranoid reader, anxious carmy (what's new)
summary; you don't like scary movies and watched one anyway so when carmy gets home, you're a little jumpy.
word count; 1,015
promptober masterlist
i couldn't help but have a bit of carmy comfort in here... i had just watched the start of season 3 when i wrote this and so it skewers a little but i hope you enjoy nevertheless :))
You hadn’t meant to watch the whole movie. You hated horror and Scream was one you had avoided as much as you could. But it was gripping and as the late night came in, you couldn’t pull yourself away from it. It was addicting but it made you so paranoid.
As soon as the credits rolled, you regretted watching every second of the movie. You had jumped at every single scare and now you were living in a state of paranoia. The silence of the credits made it seem like every noise in the apartment building was ten times louder. Every creak made you jump and your head snapped back, looking at every shadow, terrified that something would be lingering.
Carmy still wasn’t back from the Bear. He had texted you saying he would be late a few hours ago. But you wanted him here, you wished he was home.
But he wasn’t so, you just had to face this alone. You took a deep breath. It would be fine. You needed to shake the paranoia before he got back or you knew he would be teasing you. Or he would scare you. Neither of which you particularly wanted.
So, you switched the TV off and slipped off the sofa. You flicked the lights on, not having had the chance to since you were so engrossed in the movie as the sun set over Chicago. You then headed into the bathroom. You were desperate to pee and you were quick to do your business, thinking over and over again about what you could do if someone came into the bathroom.
You had locked the door so nobody could get in. At least not easily, as long as they didn’t have an axe or some shit. You let out a ragged breath as you washed your hands, staring at yourself in the mirror.
“Don’t be an idiot,” You said to yourself, hoping it would somehow stop the way your brain ran away with itself. Every noise made you overthink and over analyse your entire evening.
You knew you were safe.
You were in Carmy’s apartment.
You were safe.
You repeated “You’re safe, you’re okay” to yourself over and over again in your head, letting the words repeat like a mantra as you walked out of the bathroom.
For a moment, you thought you’d be fine but when you stepped out of the bathroom, you were met with an unfamiliar and unannounced figure. You yelped, hand coming up to your mouth as you jumped back. Your brain ran through every horrible scenario in one second flat before you realised it was Carmy. You would recognise those shoulders and curly mess of hair anywhere.
His eyes were wide as he looked back at you, looking equally as startled.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Bear,” You breathed out, heart thumping against your rib cage, “Scared the fuckin’ shit out of me.” He couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped his lips as he walked over to you. He gently reached out for your hip, tugging you closer to him.
“Thought you’d be asleep,” He confessed. You shook your head, rubbing the side of your face with your hand.
“No, not got there yet. Was watching some Scream movie, scared the shit out of me,” You admitted, mumbling the last bit, embarrassed to admit it. Carmy couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. You smacked his chest playfully, pouting.
“That why all the lights are on?” He asked. You nodded and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, replacing the exhaustion that usually sat heavy.
“How was work?” You asked softly as you pulled yourself into him. Your face nuzzled into his chest and he tensed for a moment, still not used to your affection but then settling into it.
“Service was okay but they’re too slow, it’s too slow. Sydney wants this star and I can’t- I need to get it for her but-- but nobody is working with me- I-” You could feel the heave of his chest, his hands gripping you unusually tightly. You looked up at him, looking into his eyes. The anxiety had been weighing him down lately and you wanted to take it from him, wanted to take it all but you couldn’t. Just like he couldn’t do that for you. So you instead moved your hands into his hair.
“Look at me, Bear,” You coaxed, catching his gaze, “You can’t do everything at once,” You whispered softly as you pressed your forehead against his. He tried to resist, wanting to scream and shout and tell that he could but you calmed him down. His body melted into you, the thought of having an argument suddenly unappealing, “It’ll be okay. You just need to calm down, let’s go to bed, okay? Let me just help your brain switch off?” You asked. He nodded. He wanted to tell you that it never stopped, that you could do everything and it would only come back.
But he stopped before he said anything. He just nodded.
“Okay,” He murmured. You pressed a kiss to his lips and then slowly pulled back. A sudden creak from the apartment above made you jump out of your skin and a laugh fell from Carmy’s lips at the way you jumped. He couldn’t help himself, a grin spreading across his face as he looked at you, “You really are jumpy, huh?” He teased. You rolled your eyes but nodded, unable to deny it. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“Let me check you locked the door and then we can get a shower, that okay Bear?” You asked. Carmy nodded and you let go of his hand to head over and check the door before you returned to his side, ready to take a nice long shower with him. It would take more than just a temporary distraction for Carmy to let go of the anxiety that had plagued him for as long as he could remember but you were a good temporary fix.
I'm trying to be an academic weapon but im just thinking about carmy. Like his partner is in grad school and you are doing all this research and deadlines are looming and you're stressed and it's expensive and he comes back from The Bear one night to find you awake on the sofa, researching and writing.
He's pretty much convinced you haven't moved all day off the couch since you are in the same position you were in when he checked in over his lunch break. You have your glasses on, pushed onto your face and you have a half eaten pizza by your side. So he knows you've been eating but you don't even notice him come in. You're so engrossed and stressed, he can see how you're biting your lip and picking at your skin. He could feel how stressed you were.
And he's stressed and has had a long day and he just wants your attention so he sits down next to you. You're still distracted and he's thinking about all the times that you reminded him to not be a workaholic and how you'd distract him from it just to make him feel a little bit better. And so he lets his hands wonder along your body, startling you but you relax when you realise it's him.
You stay in comfortable silence as Carmy just feels the warmth of your skin beneath his hands and you're just melting at the feeling of him. It's been a really long day and you missed him and you are finding it harder and harder to concentrate and worry about your research when he's there. He somehow manages to get you to close your laptop.
Despite your protests, he coaxes you into a shower with him and he rewards you with his fingers between your legs. All the stress from trying to finish your research melts away as he holds you against him. Once he has you soft and compliant, you both wash off and he takes you to bed where he keeps you distracted and let's off a bit of his own stress, fucking you how he'd been desperate to and how you were begging him to.
And the two of you fall asleep, curled up against each other and you're not so worried about your research now, having been thoroughly fucked out. All you could think about was Carmy and how much you loved him as you drifted off with his hands in your hair and naked body pressed against your own.
like momma (dad!carmy x reader)
prompt; day eight, 'autumn leaves'
content warning(s); pre-established relationship, major fluff, reader has a kid with carmy (called charlotte)
summary; your daughter, charlotte, desperately wants a pretty leaf to display in her room.
word count; 683
promptober masterlist
the wonderful sonia ( @notsonian ) and her dad!carmy fics (i love them sm) inspired this little work, but i really just wanted a cute little fluff of carmy and his little girl hence this :) i love them ur honour (also this is very unedited, it's bedtime for ruby)
You weren’t sure how you ended up on a walk with Carmy and Charlotte but when Charlotte had run up to you already tucked up in her winter jacket with a grin on her little face, you couldn’t deny going for an autumn walk with them.
Carmy had made a comment that morning - at breakfast - about the autumn leaves coming out and Charlotte had decided it was her mission to get one to display in her bedroom. You were never going to stamp out her curiosity and Carmy was nothing if not an enabler of your daughter’s antics.
So, as she ran around the park deciding what leaf would be the best to display, you were sitting on a bench a little away. You were watching Carmy as he herded her around and every time she held up a leaf, he gave his opinion like it was the most important thing in the world.
There was a child-like nature to how he acted in moments like this. The sparkle in his eye and the grin on his lips when he looked at your daughter made your heart swell. You loved seeing him so happy.
And when Charlotte ran up to him with a deep red leaf, exclaiming that ‘it like mamma’s car’ he was nodding along and holding it up in the late afternoon sun. He inspected it before nodding, agreeing with her.
Charlotte had Carmy’s eyes and when they both looked at you, you felt like you were seeing double. Even though Charlotte had got most of her features from you, her eyes were so distinct that you sometimes had to take a moment. Charlotte was then running up to you with her leaf in hand and climbing up onto the bench to sit herself in your lap. She held the leaf up in your face.
“Look momma,” She said as she waved it in front of you. Carmy sat down beside you.
“Think this will look good in your room, Honey?” Carmy asked Charlotte as she settled in your lap. She stared at the leaf and tilted her head before she nodded her head, turning to look up at you.
“Do you like it?” She asked. You nodded your head and wrapped an arm around her to tug her into you.
“I think it’s very pretty, Lottie. But do you like it? You can pick any leaf, don’t just have to pick this one because it reminds you of mommy,” You responded, brushing her hair out of her face as you looked into her eyes. Charlotte took a moment, staring at the leaf before she looked at you.
“No, I want it,” She said firmly. You nodded and pulled the hat down on her head. Her nose was running but before you could pull a tissue out, Carmy was already lifting Lottie’s chin up and gently wiping the snot away with a tissue of his own.
“Just wiping away the snot from your nose, Honey. Better?” He asked as he pulled the tissue away. He bundled it up and put it in his pocket to discard when you all got home. Charlotte nodded.
“Can I play for a bit longer?” Charlotte asked, looking between the two of you. You nodded.
“Course you can, baby,” You responded, pressing a kiss to her hatted head. Charlotte grinned and slipped off your lap to the floor. She then rushed off into the leaves while you and Carmy stayed at the bench. You couldn’t help the grin on her face as she bounded around, throwing leaves up into the air around her. She seemed so happy and that’s all you had ever wanted.
“You cold?” Carmy asked. You nodded, unable to help the redness of your nose and the way you were shivering a little. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his side, “Can’t have momma be cold, come here,” He insisted. You sighed and rested your head against his side. With a soft sigh, you curled into his side a little, sharing his body heat and you felt content.
strange currencies ep.2 | carmy berzatto x fem!reader
|| summary ; you're back in chicago after what feels like eons, you drop in to visit sydney, who you met when you both went to cia, it was apparently not a good time judging by how her partner was acting so you make plans to meet later for dinner. (meanwhile, carmy remembers how he knows you.) || warnings ; swearing, the bear s2 casual references, switch to sydney & carmys pov, not really proofread. || ep.1 here if you missed it, the plot premise here if you missed that || word count ; 1,506
You shoved your phone back into your jacket pocket after checking the address one last time, standing across the street from what looked to be a very closed business. Though, Syd had told you they were doing a remodel or something, so it made sense the windows and all would be papered up. You couldn't help but think maybe you should've checked in with your old friend before dropping by, but you hadn't known you were gonna be nearby until literally right before.
"Fuck it," You murmured under your breath, checking the street both ways before hurrying across, hesitating a moment when you reach the door, you were already here. It didn't make sense to back out now, and if she wasn't here then she wasn't here and then you would call her up.
The door's not locked so you tug it open fully and step inside, greeted almost immediately by the sound of some guys arguing and cussing at each other, though you didn't get a glimpse of the scene right away, or at all really. Because before you can get too far into the half wrecked restaurant you look up to see -
“Birdie?” That's not your real name, but it was the only one you gave to the people you met, at least since you were in High School. It was a nickname given to you by your family, and a much better alternative to some other nicknames you'd been given in your younger years. Confusion and surprise seems to conflict Sydney's expression briefly before shifting into something almost apologetic.
"Syd!" You lift your hand in a vague greeting, "Hi, sorry, I guess this is a bad time?” You rock back on your heels, half smiling half cringing because now everyone's attention is on you, which you normally don't mind. But this felt a little tense and awkward.
“No, well, yeah, but it’s - it’s fine. Um, what are you doing here? and why aren’t you in New York?” Your friend closes the distance between you, wrapping you in a brief but welcome embrace, then doing her best to turn you away from the shitshow you had walked into.
"I was just, sort of, in the neighborhood?" You wrinkle your nose, chuckling lightly, "Sort of, anyways. It's kind of a long story, but, I'm back in Chicago for the foreseeable future." Your smile grows a little, nodding as you try to casually slide your focus to who you assume to be her coworkers, wondering which one was the asshole partner she'd mentioned to you before.
It doesn't take you long to guess, one of the guys was zeroed in on you both - on Syd - and it was almost unnerving. How can someone be so fucking intense? Maybe it was the way his brows were still furrowed or how the blue in his eyes stood out like a beacon. Either way, you find yourself throwing a knowing look at Sydney. 'Partner? hmph' you'd stick a pin in that thought to ask what was up with him later.
You weren't the only one who'd noticed, and just as quick as your friend had caught on to his gaze he was shifting his focus back to the others. Syd mirrored your expression back at you with a lifted brow, 'Is that him?' You mouthed at her, you could've laughed but before you did she was herding you back towards the door. "Okay, so, it was great seeing you, sorry it's not great right this second, but tonight? Yes, tonight, I'm free if you're free, we should grab dinner. Sound good? Great. I'll text you." You don't get a real word in edgewise aside from agreeing to these plans and once you're back onto the sidewalk you do laugh because what the hell was that about? Another thing you'd both definitely need to talk about, you decided, as you made your way to the L.
---------------------
When the door was closed Sydney turned and pressed her back against it, taking a slow breath as she mentally prepared to walk back into whatever Richie and Fak might be fighting about now. And to take a minute to process the fact it had been years since she'd last seen Birdie and how that had been one of the last people she expected to show up here unannounced. She pulled out her phone then, pulling up her contacts and finding her friends number to shoot her a text 'Hey B just making sure you still had my number, I'll let you know when I'm done here for the day.' The phone buzzed back almost immediately, 'Yep, got it! :) cya tonight.' Syd liked the response before tucking her phone back into her pocket and making her way back to the counter to grab her notebook, the moment she walked through to the other room Carmy was there. "Yo, Syd, um, who was-" He backtracked, running a hand through his curls, "-what was that about?" Keeping pace a half step behind her as he followed her. Carmy seemed off and she couldn't help but wonder, as she cast a glance at him over her shoulder when she swept some stray braids to her back, if it had something to do with the way he had been borderline gawking at her friend. "Oh, nothin', just someone I know from CIA. Sorry, I know nobody's really supposed to be coming around while we're doing the remodel, she's not great about giving heads up." "No, yeah, it's all good. Just got a lot of shit goin' on is all," Carmy half shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "Sorry - um, what - what did you say her name was again?" His fingers smoothed over the his chin, ghosting the edge of his bottom lip, something of a habit of his when he was thinking too much, nervous, or upset. They all did it, really, each of the Berzattos did a lot of communicating with their hands. "Birdie," Syd replied, an attempt was made to not sound so curt, not wanting to rock the boat when it seemed the waters had finally calmed for the time being. "Did we sort out the deal with the lockers?" She pushed through the door to the back, pausing when she saw Richie, Fak and Marcus wrestling with moving said lockers. "That answers that question, great." She marked off an item from the list on the notebook tucked in her arm. Dark eyes found her partners light ones, a brow lifting curiously, "You good, Carm?" "Yeah, we're good. Look, I gotta run an errand real quick, can you hold down the fort til I get back?" He hardly waited for her agreement before he was brushing past her to grab his jacket out of the office and was out the door. Carmy hadn't had a goal in mind for where he was actually going, it had just been an excuse to get some fresh air so he could have a chance to think for a moment without being bothered. He told himself he did not have time to think about where he knew that girl from, but something totally different told him that he might not be able to not think about it now that he remembered.
Birdie was loud, but not in an obnoxious way, more like she was bright. She seemed cool, firendly in the way that Mikey is - was friendly. His brother had still been alive when Carmy had met her in New York, though they hadn't really been talking then.
It hadn't even been anything between them, she just happened to work the counter at the bodega that he stopped at once in a while on his way to or from work. Then she didn't work there anymore and some time later he saw her again working at the farmer's market he started going to. Then she didn't work there anymore.
He racked his brain because he thought there had been another place he'd seen her around but it wasn't coming to him. To be honest, he was sort of surprised at himself that he even remembered any of this at all because that's how unimportant the interactions had been.
And now, out of the blue, she'd turned up at his restaurant in Chicago and knew his partner - his friend, Syd. Then so many things flooded him in that instant.
Family Christmas five years ago, moving to New York following his cousins invitation, working for a Chef that made him throw up nearly every day, getting the call that Michael was gone.
It's kind of insane how such an insignificant memory can trigger a waterfall of painful ones.
Maybe that was why when he'd finally stopped walking and took in his surroundings he'd found himself standing outside the place where he usually went to Al-Anon meetings.
Exactly what he needed and could make time for.
ep. 3 is out now
strange currencies ep.3 | sydney adamu and carmy berzatto x fem!reader
|| summary ; you're still a little unsure how to feel about that whole meet n greet with sydney and the staff of the soon-to-be bear. but thats okay because you're seeing her later for dinner and you plan on weaseling all the details out of her before the night's over. || warnings ; swearing, casual drinking, casual social media stalking, talk about hooking up/sex (gossipy), reader pov, some carmy pov, some syd pov. still not proof read cause im me || word count ; 2,860 || in case you missed it ; premise , episode 1 , episode 2 , AO3 version if youre into that
You're camped out in a corner seat on the L train, one foot propped up, the other touching the floor, as you casually watch the passengers exit and then enter at the current stop. You're replaying the scene from The Beef - The Bear ? - still thinking you should have let Sydney know you were going to show up before you did. Mostly because she seemed so thrown off due to the fact you'd forgotten to even mention to her before that you were coming back to Chicago for a time. You were never good at that.
The L rattles to life, launching off from the station and back on it's way North in the direction of where your family lives, having taken one of your parent's guest rooms hostage during your stay since it was free compared to paying for a hotel or airbnb. Of course, they didn't mind. They were actually over the moon for you to be home, despite the somewhat dire circumstances of your reason for coming. You blinked, shaking the negativity from your mind for the time being as you lift your phone up to check for any other texts from Syd, or anyone else for that matter.
John Mayer's voice serenades you through your airpods, 'I'm not a fallen angel, I just fell behind. I'm out of luck and I'm out of time'. Your head bobs a little in time with the song, having forgotten how much you liked it when it came out, you let yourself hum along. Still, it doesn't get your mind off Syd, or her partner and was she really so oblivious to how he was staring through the damn girl's soul from across the room? You snort a soft laugh under your breath just before an idea strikes you, why not do a little recon on your friend, The Bear, her partner. You've got time, a good thirty minutes before your stop.
Instagram is loading on your phone a beat later, you type in Sydney's account and this is where your search begins. Fortunately, your friend does like to post the occasional updates to her life. Usually it's food, sometimes places, and it's like the first clue is gift wrapped right there for you in the second row of pictures. You tap the image and the post pops up.
Well, this should help. You first skim the comments which are full of praise and support, so you take a mental note of the names and profile pics in hopes one might stick out. You do notice a recurring theme from a few comments, 'let it rip'. Jeff? Who's Jeff? You chuckle to yourself, figuring whoever made these comments must be staff members which is relevant to your search. Though, none of them are the guy you're looking for so you switch to scrolling through the likes.
Right there near the bottom nestled between a fakattack and sugarbearzatto you see c.berzatto. Then it starts coming back to you, Syd had told you his name before, "Carmy, that was it," you muse aloud as you tap the username and are presented with a very anticlimactic private profile with a picture of a beautifully plated dish for the users icon. Guess this was a dead end. You furrow your brow, rolling your lips together in annoyance. You backtrack to Sydney's profile and resign yourself to scrolling through her posts and your timeline for the remainder of the train ride. Maybe something else would come to you, otherwise you'll have plenty of questions for Syd.
----------
Carmy smooths his clammy palms down the tops of his thighs before crossing his ankle over his knee and lifting his gaze to look out at the others sitting in the circle. It wasn't that he didn't want to be here, or didn't like it. There was just something always a little unnerving about opening up these littles doors to himself, his mind and his past, at these meetings. It had been hard at first, was still tricky sometimes to find the words he wanted to say, but once he got going he would find a flow and follow it until he poured enough out onto the proverbial floor of his life to feel some sort of release. At least this was a floor he didn't have to clean so meticulously. However, he needed to do better about not sweeping so much of his shit under the rug. One problem at a time.
"I have to - I have to remind myself to be present, sometimes. Y'know, remind myself that the sky is not falling," Blue eyes lift to the ceiling for a beat before drifting back down, he seems to look somewhere but never directly making eye contact with anyone. "That there is no other shoe... which is extremely difficult because there is always another shoe." There's a few scattered chuckles, murmurs of agreement and understanding, Carmy grazes his fingers along his brow, down his temple and gives the barest of nods, thumb grazing his bottom lip before he continues.
He ends by thanking them for letting him share, as they all do for each other. And he is thankful to be there, to have given this outlet a chance thanks to Sugar's insistence that it would help all those months ago. And it has. It's not a cure-all, but it's better than a band-aid, better than ignoring his problems, better than sweeping them under the rug. One step at a time.
----------
Night has taken over the city, the moon is bright but the stars are a little absent due to Chicago lights and the gauzy clouds lingering in the sky. It still feels busy despite nearing nine because it's Thursday, almost the weekend, and you're walking up to Pequod's Pizza and it's always busy around here. You see Sydney before she sees you, she's staring down at her phone and something tells you she's probably been there for a bit waiting on you, even though you both agreed on nine.
She was always early, which made you being on-time feel like you were actually late. For a second you're transported back to New York, back to C.I.A., back to the mornings you were hustling into class after downing the last of your espresso while Syd was already at her station, changed into her uniform, reviewing notes or sharpening her knives, and overall being far more ready for the day than you could ever imagine being. Some things never change.
"Syd!" You call out once you're across the street, a skip in your step when you're within range and there's no hesitation as you pull her into your embrace. "Hey Birdie," She coos, then she holds you out at arm's length, hugging you briefly again and then letting you go. "I'm glad you could make it," Her smile brightens and so does yours. "Me too, not that I had anything else to do, y'know, but yeah. This is gonna be great." You're already moving to the door, holding it open for her and following her in.
Of course, she'd set up a reservation for you both, which you were silently thankful for because it looked pretty packed in here and because of Syd you got to sit down almost right away. You didn't even need to look at the menu, "The way I'm about to demolish some deep dish, so sick of paper-thin city pizza. It's cheap but that's about its only real redeeming quality." Your friend couldn't help but shake her head, laughing a little at your enthusiasm.
A server comes around to take your orders, Sydney gets a coke, neither she nor her dad drinks, and you choose a beer because pizza and beer are classic, so why not? You both pick a pizza to split between you. She rests her chin into her hand a moment as she seems to look you over, tilting her head just so like she's thinking, "Soo, you gonna tell me why you're back in Chicago yet or you just wanna keep me in suspense?"
Right to the chase. She was always good at that, never the type to beat around the bush about things. You sigh, smiling slightly, "Can't it just be to see one of my closest friends from culinary school?" She shook her head, seeing right through you, "C'mon B, what's actually going on?" She knew you'd never talked about coming back home to Chicago, it just wasn't on your radar. You liked New York, even though you didn't care much for the pizza, you loved the city, the energy and atmosphere, and so much more about it.
Sydney eyed you, leaning in just a little in hopes of imploring you to give something. You meet her gaze and sigh, what were you supposed to say? In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that you and her had ever been the best of friends, but you'd connected during school and while you were vastly different in terms of behaviors or manners, you both shared a take-no-shit attitude. Though, the basis of your friendship had really veen centered around food, you knew a little about each others families but it had been simple things that had been shared in passing moments. Never any sort of deep dive into each others' lives, even less since you'd both parted ways for your individual journeys some time ago.
"Just some family stuff," You eventually concede, the thought of sharing about your grandmother actually made your throat wanna close up. Talking about it made it very real, and you hadn't decided you were ready for that yet. Fortunately, the server had come back around with your drinks, asking if you needed anything else, updating you on the time for your pizza. It was enough to distract and give you an opportunity to deflect once you and Sydney were alone again.
"I wanna hear about The Beef - The Bear? It looked pretty wrecked in there today," You bite back a soft laugh when Sydney shakes her head, holding your glass up in cheers before taking a swig. "The Bear, yeah, yeah, it is wrecked right now. But its a process. We have a vision. And even though Carm's budget is ass, and most the guys on the project are not professionals.. I- I think we can pull it off," Syd gave an affirming nod that wasn't all that convincing. "As long as we're not lookin' at another Sheridan Road, right?" You tease, or try to, hopeful that the heartache of that implosion for your friend had mostly passed by now. "Oh, fuck off, B," Syd snorted, "Hey! I'm just sayin," You retort back, both of you devolving into laughter.
You settle, helping yourself to another sip of beer, running your fingertip around the rim of the glass when you set it down, "What about your partner, then, Carmy? You really wanna get tangled up in somethin' this big with him when according to you he's kind of a piece of shit?" Sydney's eyes widened for half a beat, clearly having forgotten she'd vented to you about that nightmare of a day, she waved her hands dismissively, "No, no, I mean - yes, okay he is an ass sometimes. He just - he's, um, particular about shit. Which is good, because you don't get where you are by not giving a shit. Which he does. He's an excellent chef, like incredible, Birdie. Just wait til you get to try literally anything he's made. It's kind of mind-blowing, I'd probably hate him if he was my competition."
Sydney goes on and on about him and it becomes glaringly obvious she must be just as obsessed with him as he is with her. Because thinking back to her even choosing to work at The Beef, it didn't make sense. The place was run down, on it's last legs, but she'd been all about it. Or maybe just all about him. You smile at her across the table, she smiles back and no wonder he couldn't stop staring at her earlier. She's gorgeous and clever, equally a genius in the kitchen. He'd be stupid to not be obsessed with her.
The pizza arrives at the table and you both devour it, taking moments between bites and drinks to reminisce on C.I.A. and New York, how you've probably hopped around at least five other jobs since you graduated because you haven't quite found anything that really calls to you. She tells you more about The Bear, how bad she wants at least one star, their plans for sending some of their staff to culinary school, she pauses looking like she'd just had some wild revelation. "Birdie - do you - would you wanna, look, we need to hire more chefs. You've got the training, you're great in the kitchen even though you say you're not-"
You cut her off before she can even ask, you hold up one finger while you finish a bite of caramelized crust, "Syd, girl, I love ya, but hell no." You shake your head with some finality and she deflates for just a second then recovers, "Just, think about it. Besides, what else are you gonna do while you're here?"
She had a point, but that didn't change your answer. "I dunno yet," You shrug, washing down that last bite with some beer, "I'll figure it out when it comes to me." And that was that.
---------
Birdie deflects, as she often does about some things, and Sydney just shakes her head in defeat, "All right, okay, you win." For now. She wasn't going to give in that easily, because she knew her friend could throw down in the kitchen even though she tries to claim it was not her 'calling'. Maybe it wasn't, but how could she even know when she was notorious for changing her mind about what she wanted to do every few weeks? In the time that Sydney had known her, she'd been through at least a dozen different jobs, and in hindsight, it was a wonder the other girl had even stuck out culinary school through the whole degree.
They continued eating, ordering another round of drinks before the conversation picked up again, "How does your boyfriend feel about you leaving New York?" Sydney had been pretty sure she'd seen some fairly recent post with a guy tagged on her Instagram story, one that seemed lovey-ish. Birdie scoffed, half rolling her eyes, "Oh no, you mean Gal? No, that was.. just a thing, a very short-lived thing, and funny enough I think he got back with his ex Mina like a week ago. The sex was good, I mean good good, but I knew it wasn't gonna be anything legit, he's been off and on with that girl forever. It's cool though, it was fun while it lasted." She shrugs nonchalantly, busying herself with her beer before she props her chin up into the heel of one hand and gives Sydney the look.
"What about you? Anything else you wanna tell me about your partner?" Birdie draws out the word, wiggling her brows at Syd who's brows lift in disbelief, her face heats, creeping right up from her neck and she's glad that part isn't obvious from her complexion. "W-what? You're kidding, right?" She's shaking her head at the other, waving her hands, "First of all, no. Second of all, no. Carm is my business partner and my friend, that's it." Birdie's mouth pops open, her teeth sinking into her lip to hide the grin that broke her expression, "Right, sure, Syd. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
She was off her shit to think she and Carmy were a thing, or anything at all. Why would she even think that after meeting him for like five seconds earlier in the day? It made absolutely no sense to Sydney, and it had her wondering if she needed to cut her friend off from the beer if she was already talking crazy like this after two. "I saw how he looked at you earlier," Birdie quipped, the look on her face like she knew some big secret she was keeping. Sydney wasn't having it, going on to brush off even the suggestion that Carm had been staring at her.
Carmy had definitely not been looking at her, she knew that much for certain. Sydney knew most all of his looks by this point, and the look on his face today when he saw Birdie was a new one. One that Syd couldn't place, and his behavior after, the way he'd asked about her friend then had to rush off only solidified to her that something was definitely up with him and it was because of the girl sitting across from her. The girl who was apparently very oblivious to this fact.
The two finished their dinner without talking about more about boyfriends or partners or Carmy, thankfully. They ended their night with a crushing hug, thanks to Birdie, and promises to make plans again soon when Syd had some free time from the remodel.
Wine & Dine (carmen "carmy" berzatto x fem!reader)
18+ account - minors do not interact
carmen "carmy" berzatto x fem!reader
Word Count: 6430ish+
Rating: E
Summary: You own a wine shop across the street from The Bear, and you have struck a deal with Carmen Berzatto that allows people to purchase wine from your shop and enjoy it at The Bear. Over time, your unexpected partnership with the quiet restaurant owner & head chef grows beyond just sharing wine and food.
Warning: slow burn (this happens over months in my mind), language, mutual pining (idiots in love crushing on one another), alcohol, mentions of Mikey’s death, allusions to slight family drama on the readers end, brief jealousy (Carmy is a jealous boi), fluff, flirting & sexual tension, competence kink? (Carmy builds something and reader feels things), kissing, sexual touching 18+, praise, dirty talk, implied p in v sex
A/N: This is my first-time writing a Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto fic and writing for the Bear Universe. I can’t tell if this will just be a one-time thing, but with Season 3 coming out so soon, the brain-rot is real. This show is immaculate, and Carmen is such a complex character. I originally was going to use this idea and make it a Joel Miller AU fic (my obsession for that fictional man is concerning), but I decided to take a chance at writing for another fandom. I know nothing about the fine dining world / what food pairs well with wine so let’s pretend in this story that what I’m saying makes sense. I want to thank especially @nicksolemnlyswears / @mysingularitybts who convinced me to post this story.
A Collection of Moments Masterlist
xx
Chicago, Illinois The BEEF is CLOSED. Thank you for your patronage. THE BEAR is COMING.
The first time you met Carmen Berzatto, he was about to have his soft opening of the Bear for Friends and Family night. However, you had watched him and his crew from across the street for months getting the restaurant ready. You recall when a sign for The Beef, the beloved Italian beef sandwich shop had announced its closing, it had genuinely shocked you and a lot of people in the neighborhood.
He walked into your shop nervously and was scanning a bunch of different bottles, focused on the whites.
“How can I assist you sir?” you asked, and up close, you saw that he had piercing blue eyes. Eyes that you could lose yourself in.
“Um, I’m openin’ up the restaurant cross’ the street in a couple of days and uh, I-I’m tryin’ to find a wine that compliments one of our dishes. Right now… somethin’ is just not right,” he quickly rushed out.
“What’s the dish?”
“Seared scallops with an herby fish sauce vinaigrette, the Chardonnay I’m usin’ is just… it’s not hittin’ at all,” he let out a frustrated sigh and gripped his hair tightly in frustration.
“A Chardonnay won’t work, especially if your scallops are seared,” you suggested, starting to walk to locate the bottle that you thought would work better. “Chardonnay is often a go-to for scallops, but it can overpower the delicate flavors. What type of Chardonnay are you using?”
“A 2020 Racines Bentrock Vineyard Chardonnay,” he replied, looking at you with those beautiful eyes.
“That’s an amazing bottle. But it’s a Chardonnay that is intensely buttery, which is probably what is causing the clash,” You picked up a mineral-driven Sancerre from the Loire Valley of France and handed the bottle to him. “Try this, it’s dry, bright, and acidic. Its minerality and citrus notes will complement the brininess of the scallops without overwhelming them,”
“I didn’t even think about usin’ somethin’ made from Sauvignon Blanc grapes. You don’t think the acidity would cut through the richness of the dish?”
“No, I think it will enhance the flavor, and it will complement the freshness of the scallops and the vinaigrette perfectly. I mean in fairness, I haven’t tried your dish,” you said with a shrug. “So, I guess I’m sort of giving you advice blindly, but I have a good hunch,” you continued with a smile. “So, take the bottle and try it out, and then let me know if it pairs well or if I was a complete idiot with my suggestion,”
You could see him pause for a moment looking down at the bottle; his brow furrowed in contemplation as he considered your recommendation. When he looked back up at you, you realized how distracting his face was and that he was devastatingly handsome. Your eyes were flickering between his eyes and his mouth as you two fell silent. You suddenly felt a huge desire to run your fingers through his luscious locks.
“I trust you…somethin’ tells me y’a know what you’re saying,” he said, sounding hopeful, but a little unsure. “How much do I owe you?”
“It’s on the house,” you informed him.
“Wait what?” he asked with an adorable frown of confusion.
“Consider it a friendly neighborhood present… opening a restaurant isn’t easy,” you assured him.
“Thank you,” he breathed your name looking at your chest, and confusion crossed your face wondering how this handsome stranger knew your name since you had never given it to him during this entire exchange. Then, his finger pointed down at your chest, where your name tag was pinned neatly in place. Realization dawned on you as you felt your cheeks heat, realizing he had been reading your name tag.
He cleared his throat and looked over at you a little sheepishly. “Nice to meet you, um, I’m – uh, my name’s Carmen,”
“Carmen”, you repeated, enjoying the way his name rolled off your tongue.
“Well, um, I have to go… uh, but see you around,” he stammered out and then started walking toward the front door and stepped out. As he crossed the street, he turned around to look at you before entering his restaurant and lifted his hand in a wave that you returned shyly.
“See you around,” you whispered to yourself.
The next day when you opened up the wine shop, you found a note that had been slipped under the door and bent down to pick it up.
You’re a genius.
– Carmen
xx
Through your conversations, you began to develop a mutual respect and admiration for each other's expertise. The Bear had a successful opening and Carmen and his team started bringing you dishes to taste. In the beginning, he would mostly come in with Sydney and then they started bringing Tina and Ebra as well to get their opinions on the wine pairings as well. You also worked with Marcus sometimes to provide wine recommendations for his mouth-watering desserts. Sometimes, even Ritchie would stop by to shoot the shit and pretend he understood what you were saying.
You found yourself eager to recommend wines that you thought would complement The Bear’s dishes, and Carmen and the team started incorporating your suggestions into the menu. Then one day you suggested the idea of allowing customers to purchase wine from your shop and enjoy it at The Bear, letting Carmen know that it would draw more people to both businesses. Customers who may not have visited your shop otherwise now would have a reason to come in, and vice versa for The Bear.
Over the next few weeks, as word spread about the successful wine partnership between your wine shop and The Bear, more and more customers began to visit both establishments. The collaboration proved to be a win-win for both businesses, as customers enjoyed the unique experience of sampling exceptional wines while dining on The Bear’s exquisite dishes.
You noticed a change in Carmen as you spent more alone time with him. He started coming to your shop without the rest of the team bringing you dishes to try, and you felt that he began to open up and show more of his personality. He was quiet, observant, and very focused. There were moments when he struggled to communicate his feelings and emotions, often choosing to stay silent. But as you got to know him better, you realized that he was actually quite thoughtful and deep. He had a unique perspective on things and was eager to learn and grow. Although he may not have been the most outgoing person, his quiet demeanor hid a kind heart and a passionate mind.
You found yourself enjoying conversations with him, as he had a way of making you think and see things in a different light. He had a knack for analyzing situations and offering insightful solutions, showing a level of maturity beyond his years.
“So, I googled you,” you said one day when he brought you over a Spicy Rigatoni Vodka pasta dish he was considering implementing for the menu. Carmen didn’t believe in static menus, he preferred a series of menus that rotated after a specific period with rotating entrees, seasonal dishes, and regional specialties.
"I had no idea you were such a big deal," you said, your eyes wide with admiration. He was so fucking amazing.
"Oh, um, it's nothin’, really," he mumbled, unable to meet your gaze. He blushed as you marveled at his impressive CV, detailing his rise to fame as a culinary prodigy. You could tell he was modest about his achievements, not one to boast about his success.
“So, I guess I have to ask. Why did you come back to Chicago?”
He shuffled his feet, and you could tell he felt slightly uncomfortable with the question. "My brother…” he paused, “Mikey… That was his name. He died and left me the restaurant in his will," he confessed, his voice slightly shaky.
You looked at him with concern, reaching out to touch his hand. "I'm so sorry, Carmy. That must have been really hard for you." You heard his friends and family calling him that, so you decided to try to nickname out since he was sharing something so personal, and you wanted to soothe him somehow. He looked into your eyes with gratitude and vulnerability. Without saying a word, he laced his fingers with yours, intertwining them in a gentle, reassuring grip.
Carmen shrugged, looking down at the table. "Yeah, it’s been tough. I dunno. Sometimes, I just feel so lost, y’a know?" His grip tightened slightly, as if seeking solace in the connection between you both, a silent reassurance that you were there for him in that moment of vulnerability.
You nodded sympathetically, and fell silent, unsure of what to say. You realized that Carmen probably preferred it that way. He probably just wanted to be heard, understood, and supported without the need for empty expressions of sympathy.
As you had expected, he quickly shifted the conversation back to you tasting the food and dropped your hand, and you felt yourself missing his touch immediately. He watched you take a couple of bites of the pasta that he had brought over for you. “So, what do y’a think?” he asked shyly.
You decided to take a few more final bites before replying. It tasted like a symphony of flavors – the heat from the red pepper flakes woke up your senses, while the spicy tomato and creamy vodka sauce soothed and balanced out the spice and added richness to the pasta.
Each bite was a delightful experience that left you wanting more. “Carmy… it’s a gift. What you do… what you have is a gift,” you whispered.
“You really think so?” he asked timidly, staring at you with those crazy blue eyes.
“No,” you said firmly, and you saw his anxiety spike. “I know so,”
His face softened, and you gave him a small smile.
“You’ll need a full-bodied Italian red for this dish, probably a Chianti. A Barolo could work, but I think the Chianti I’m thinking of will be an excellent choice. Let me grab it,” you quickly left the counter to find the Machiavelli Vigna di Fontalle and poured two glasses of wine for you and Carmen.
You both took more bites of the Spicy Rigatoni and brought the glass of wine to your lips, taking a small sip and letting the rich flavors wash over the palate. You closed your eyes and took another sip, savoring the complexity of the wine, letting it linger on your taste buds before swallowing. The wine had a bold and complex flavor profile with hints of dark fruits, spices, and earthy notes, making it a great complement to the richness of the pasta. The wine's smooth tannins and balanced acidity helped cut through the sauce's creaminess.
When you opened your eyes, you found that Carmen was gazing into your eyes with a look of pure intensity. It was a look you had never seen him give you before. His gaze seemed to linger, as if he was trying to convey something to you without saying a word.
You liked Carmen. You felt like it was obvious. Could it be possible that he had feelings for you too? Was it all in your head, or was there something more between you that had been simmering beneath the surface all along? He was so hard to read.
“You know… you have a gift too,” he said, pushing his empty plate away. “Your ability to choose the perfect wine to complement any dish is truly… fuckin’ remarkable,”
You rolled your eyes. “Carmy, that’s silly. I’m not making the wine; I’m just simply drinking it, and then making some suggestions,”
His eyes squinted in disapproval. “You know opening night… do y’a know what dish received the most compliments?
You shook your head.
“It was the scallops, everyone who did the suggested wine pairing with that dish said that the wine enhanced the overall dining experience,” he said softly, his lips slowly curving into a small smile.
You felt a warm glow of pride and satisfaction knowing that your passion and knowledge was being appreciated by him, but it was hard for you to accept it. Your father had been so disappointed when you dropped out of Columbia Law School to run away to Europe and drink wine for a living. You were the youngest of 4 children, and all of your siblings were lawyers, including your hard-to-please father. In a way, you were sort of the odd one out in your family. “Carmy… It’s really not all that impressive,”
“You have a gift too,” he repeated, his eyes staring into yours, as his comment lingered in the air between you two.
xx
One night, you decided that it was time for you to enjoy The Bear's fine dining experience yourself. Ironically, you had never eaten there. Carmy had never asked you or formally invited you to the restaurant since he would bring his menu items over to the shop for you to taste so that you could provide recommended wine pairings. It was restaurant week in Chicago and The Bear was participating in the special 5-course prix fixe celebration. Therefore, you decided to bring your cousin who was visiting his family from New York who was a total foodie and enjoy your Friday night with him.
As you walked into the restaurant, you were immediately greeted by Sugar at the hostess stand who you had met a few times. She complimented you on your dress and you introduced her to your cousin, and it turned out that they knew each other since they attended rival high schools, and they reminisced on some senior week prank gone wrong. They enjoyed a few playful jabs with one another before she escorted you to the table, where you were impressed by the cozy and elegant atmosphere of the restaurant.
You took in the beautifully set tables, the dim lighting, and the soft music playing in the background. Carmen and the team had done such a terrific job with the place, the rave reviews made so much sense. Ritchie noticed you and walked over to say hello, pulled out your chair, and handed you and your cousin the prix-fixe menu. You narrowed your eyes as you observed Ritchie’s unfriendly gaze toward your cousin since it was certainly out of character for him.
Once Ritchie finished his spiel about restaurant week, you both placed drink orders and then he walked away. You could have sworn you heard him mutter ‘fuckin’ jagoff’ under his breath, but maybe you had just been imagining it.
“I talked to your Dad, and he said your parents are going to the south of France this summer,” your cousin said as he placed the white napkin cloth in his lap.
“How interesting, I lived in Bordeaux for 3 years, and he never visited me once,” you muttered bitterly. Your mother and all your siblings had visited you while you lived out there, even some of your extended family, but your father always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t. ‘Work is so crazy baby girl,’ But deep down, you knew it was because he was disappointed.
“How are things with you two?”
“Well, I’m not married to a Harvard Business School graduate who works at a hedge fund, and I don’t have any babies so it could be better,” you responded sarcastically. “But if I’m honest, since I moved back home to Chicago and opened up the shop, much better. We had a big Kumbaya moment, he apologized, admitted he went to therapy, and –
“He went to therapy?” Your cousin interrupted.
“Let’s get real, my mother forced him to go, and he probably hated every second of it,” you chuckled, “But yes, he did… apparently,”
“Well let’s fucking cheers to that,” he said and you two grabbed your cocktails that had just been dropped off by Fak.
The clink of your cocktail glasses echoed softly across the room as you smiled at each other.
“I can’t believe you know Carmen Berzatto. Did you know that the last place he worked at in New York credited him for retaining the restaurant's three stars?” your cousin exclaimed.
You didn’t know that. But it didn’t surprise you. Everything Carmen did was nothing short of spectacular.
“What’s he like?” your cousin asked, clearly intrigued.
“He’s kind of an anxious person, so he can come across as awkward, but he’s really incredible,” you answered honestly. “He’s obviously so passionate about food, and he’s so supportive and encouraging of his crew. It’s really sweet,” You ended up confessing to your cousin about your crush on Carmen over the third course, and he grinned at you while you shared your secret like a little schoolgirl during dinner.
“You don’t think he likes you too?” He asked you when you guys got to the final course, before the dessert. It was foie gras stuffed free-range quail.
You sighed deeply. “I feel like this restaurant and his family, which I’m sensing is totally chaotic are just about the only things he has time for in his life, so no, I think he just sees me as a friend,”
You took a small bite of the dish, savoring the explosion of flavors in your mouth. The rich, buttery foie gras complemented the juicy, tender quail perfectly, creating a melt-in-your-mouth sensation. You closed your eyes in pure bliss, and as you continued to eat, you couldn’t help but marvel at the complexity of flavors and textures in each bite. The dish was so delicious, so perfectly balanced, it had to be one of the best things you had ever eaten.
“What the fuck man, this is so fucking good,” a low groan escaped your cousin's lips.
You couldn’t help but let out a soft moan of pleasure. “Oh my god, I know,”
“The best thing I can make is… nothing,” he said with a chuckle. You immediately thought back to a time when he had almost burnt down his house making toaster strudel when you two were younger. You laughed so hard that you didn’t hear that someone had approached the table.
You heard a familiar voice say your name and you looked up and saw that it was Carmen.
The blue in his eyes was as gorgeous as ever, so raw, and intense, and you felt your heart race when you watched his mouth part, tongue peeking out to trace his bottom lip.
“I thought that was you,” Carmen cracked a tiny smile, his gaze slid from your face down to your legs, and you felt every inch of it. You were wearing a little black dress, nothing special, but it was figure-hugging, with a plunging neckline and short hemline that showcased your legs.
You offered a tiny wave when his pretty blue eyes met yours. "Chef, this is absolutely incredible," you gushed pointing at your plate, but couldn’t help but notice that Carmen’s lips were narrowed, and his jaw was tense.
“Thank you,” he replied, his lips formed around the words, but his teeth stayed locked.
“Dude, the food has been amazing tonight. We’re huge fans,” your cousin said.
“Oh really?” Carmen responded, his eyes focused only on you and not acknowledging your cousin who was sitting across from you. He then finally turned to him. “Nice to hear that dude,” His voice had an edge to it, and you hadn’t heard him use it before.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Chef, she’s been telling me about this place for months so I’m glad we’re finally checking it out,” your cousin continued, and then winked at you and squeezed your hand across the table.
Carmen blinked, as blankness rolled over his features, and he looked at your cousin with a forced smile.
You laughed nervously. “Carmy, this is my older cousin, we grew up together. He’s in town for his mom’s birthday. My aunt’s birthday, my mom’s sister, it’s her 60th on Sunday,” you felt silly emphasizing that you two were related but in Carmen’s life, the term ‘Cousin’ was sometimes used for friends.
It was like a flip had switched, and suddenly Carmen reached for your cousin's hand thanking him for coming in tonight, asking him if he was enjoying the experience, and telling him how lucky he was to have you across the street helping The Bear with the wine pairings over the last few months. You were extremely confused but gave Carmen a reassuring smile since you finally felt him begin to relax again. The kitchen was probably crazy tonight, so you could only imagine how he was feeling.
Carmen bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked nervous and vulnerable all of a sudden as well. “By the way, don’t worry about the bill tonight. When y’a guys are done for the night, just let Cousin know,”
“Carmy that’s not necess-,” you started to say.
“I said, the bill will be covered. Compliments from the chef,” his tone was final, and you felt insane for feeling turned on by it. His eyebrows lifted and he gave you this look that clearly meant he wasn’t kidding. So, you decided not to push it.
“I’m sorry, I have to go. But, um, if y’a two want to stay past closin’, the team and I are doin’ surprise birthday shots for Sydney,” Carmen informed you both.
You giggled knowing that Sydney was going to hate all the attention on her. “She’s going to kill you, but yeah, that sounds fun,”
“Trust me it wasn’t my idea,” he muttered, as he bent down to kiss your cheek and quickly whispered in your ear, “Thanks for comin’, you look um, really… really nice,”
You were shocked at the act and struggled to respond, feeling tongue-tied and flustered by his words. But once you saw him walk back into the kitchen, you couldn't help but smile at his words, the corners of your lips turning up involuntarily as you tried to hide your face from your cousin,
“Well, I can tell you that he likes you,” he smirked.
“What? How can you tell?”
“Because until you told him who I was, it looked like he was going to punch me in the face and kick me out of this restaurant,” he said while grinning wildly.
xx
After you had visited the restaurant, you started going there a lot more to taste the menu items in the kitchen. You also noticed a shift in your dynamic with Carmen. You felt as though his touch became more frequent… maybe even intimate. You would feel a gentle hand on your lower back as he guided you through the chaotic kitchen. His hand would brush against your arms as he reached for ingredients or utensils. Sometimes, when you talked, he would reach out to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his touch lingering for a moment before he would pull away. Most recently, you had almost tripped in the kitchen, and he had moved his hands to rest on your shoulders to make sure you were okay, and his fingers caressed your collarbone. You had shivered at his touch, feeling a surge of warmth and longing spread through your body.
The Bear staff was sort of this crazy family, but they made it work somehow. You mostly worked alone in the wine shop and had to depend on yourself for a lot of things. You ran a lean business with only two other employees who were part-time staff. You had an attorney and accountant to help you with beverage alcohol law and accounting, but it wasn’t as though you saw them all the time. In a way, your professional life had always felt a little lonely and The Bear had somehow become a part of your day-to-day, and your feelings for Carmen only grew more and more.
You had started to host weekly wine tastings on Thursdays and had just wrapped up cleaning up the mess from a 10-person party where one of the guys was extremely drunk and kept spilling his wine everywhere when Carmen and Ritchie walked in unexpectedly with a giant delivery box.
“Hey, noticed your name on this box, it was sittin’ in front of the shop next door,” Carmen stated as he dumped it on the counter.
You looked at the box and scowled. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
You had been eagerly awaiting the delivery of a new shipment of wine and had been left without any inventory of this particular Portuguese wine to sell to patrons the day before or the day before that. You were beyond frustrated. This was the third time the shop next door didn’t let you know that a delivery had been mistakenly delivered to them. Now you felt like an asshole, because you had totally bitched out the wine distributor yesterday demanding to know where your delivery was and why you had been left high and dry without any Pico Wine to sell. It was a super unique wine, probably one of the most unique in the world and your rich clientele loved having bottles in their homes. You probably looked batshit crazy explaining this to Carmen and Ritchie.
“Do y’a want me to beat the shit out of em’?” Your eyes grew wide, and your mouth dropped in shock as Ritchie started laughing. “I’m kidding, but do y’a want me to talk to em’ so that they fuckin’ understand?” Ritchie asked as his phone rang. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, looked down, and told you he had to step out since Tiffany was calling him.
You let out a long sigh, and Carmen instantly pulled you in his arms, your face planted firmly against his chest. “You should come to Family tonight, take your mind off this,” he murmured against your skin, rubbing soothing circles on your back.
You had never been invited to Family dinner before, it was staff only. “Oh, I know how stressed you guys can get before the dinner rush, I really don’t want to be a bother,”
He scoffed and brushed your hair back once you looked up at him. “You wouldn’t be a bother, please don’t say that,” The look in his eyes was so genuine. “I’m so sorry about your shipment, I know how shitty that can feel,” he said releasing his hold on you and stepping back slightly.
You didn’t want to impose, and you didn’t want Carmen to feel like he had to invite you because you were having a bad day.
“It’s fine, I just need to drink some wine or something to calm down. I guess that’s the perk of this job,” you shrugged.
He peeked at you from beneath his lashes, “Tina cooked Poulet Mafé,”
“Carmy,” you moaned, while you saw him smile at your reaction. You had tasted Tina’s Poulet Mafé in the past. It was 100% the ultimate comfort food with thick peanut sauce with chicken, root vegetables, and cabbage served over rice. It was so fucking good.
“Okay, fine, I’ll come,” you conceded, rolling your eyes, looking away, and pretending you were bothered by it.
You felt a finger brush beneath your chin, as he raised your face to look at him, “Good girl,”
You swallowed a heavy breath and felt your panties get impossibly wet.
xx
“How did I not know that you live above the wine shop?” Carmen asked you one day when he was helping you build your new bar cart. At your last party, one of your friends accidentally crashed into it and broke it, so you ordered a new one on Amazon.
“I guess it never came up,” you replied. It was his first time at your apartment and for some reason, you felt a little nervous. It was probably because as he built the new bar cart, his muscles flexed with each movement as he expertly handled the tools. The veins in his arms bulged as he reached for different tools, his hands skillfully maneuvering as he put the cart together piece by piece. You couldn't help but be mesmerized by the intricate designs of his tattoos. He was so… sexy.
As he worked diligently, you found yourself drawn to his competence, "Do you need any help with that?" you asked softly, biting your lip.
He smiled at you. "Nah, I've got it covered, but could y’a hand me that wrench over there?" he called out, gesturing towards the toolbox, and breaking you out of your trance.
You grabbed the wrench and handed it to him, admiring the way his biceps tensed as he tightened the bolt.
As he put the finishing touches on the bar cart, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having Carmen in your life. As he stood back to admire his handiwork, you couldn't resist planting a kiss on his cheek.
You watched him blush as you thanked him and felt your heart flutter at the sight.
“I owe you a fucking cocktail, take a seat on the couch, and make yourself comfortable,” you told him, as you walked into the kitchen. You decided to make some Aviations. They were simple enough to make with gin, maraschino liqueur, crème de violette, and lemon juice. You effortlessly measured out the ingredients and shook the cocktail shaker and then poured the mixed and chilled cocktails into crystal glasses.
You walked back into the living room, handed Carmen his drink, grabbed a seat next to him, and pulled out some coasters.
You watched intently as he took a sip, and you enjoyed the way his eyes lit up with each sip.
“This is so good, so what now….You’re a fuckin’ mixologist?”he teased.
"What can I say, I have my secret talents,”
“You do,” he paused. “Y’a know I googled you too,” he said slowly. “I saw a picture of you with your Sommelier lapel pin,”
“And?” you replied.
“Why have you never brought up the fact that you are a trained and certified Advanced Sommelier?”
“It’s not a big deal,” you shrugged.
He rolled his eyes and breathed your name. “That’s literally one of the hardest exams in the hospitality industry,”
“No, the Master Sommelier Exam is the hardest exam,” you quipped.
“So, is that what you wanna do one day?”
“Maybe,” you swallowed thickly, realizing it was something you hadn’t thought about in a long time since moving back to Chicago.
“You should do it,” he softly urged.
You let out a strangled laugh. “I wouldn’t pass,”
“You would, it’s you,” he said, and when you gazed up at him, the intensity of the look in his eyes left no room to doubt that he really believed what he was telling you.
“So, when did you google me?” you deflected, deciding to change the subject, since you never loved to be the center of attention.
“First day I met you,” he replied very quickly.
“What?” you asked, genuinely surprised.
"You were so quick with your response about the scallops," he fumbled with his words. "And when I recrafted the dish and it came out the way it did, I knew that you were special, so I had to look you up,"
You were taken aback by his comment, and he noticed and tried to recover. "I mean, not like special-special, but, you know, talented and stuff," he stumbled over his words.
You raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by his flustered state. "So, I'm not special, just talented?" you teased, a playful grin spreading across your face.
"No, no, that's not what I meant," he backtracked. "I do think you're special, you're so special. I mean...uh...you're really amazin’ too,"
You chuckled softly, enjoying his discomfort. "It's okay, I know what you're trying to say," you reassured him. "And I think you're pretty amazing too."
As your eyes locked, he grabbed both of your drinks and set them down on your coffee table and then gently reached out to touch your cheek, making your breath catch in your throat. You felt him lower his face and closed your eyes preparing to feel his lips on yours but then he surprised you by pressing a trail of kisses down your neck and over the curve of your shoulder.
You sighed in contentment, feeling the warmth of his breath on your skin. Each kiss sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you. His touch was gentle yet possessive, as if he wanted to memorize every inch of you.
He slowly brought his lips up to meet yours, “This okay?” he murmured against your lips, his breath strained. You nodded softly. His hand quickly tangled in your hair, and he let out a low groan as he hungrily kissed you, his tongue brushed against your bottom lip before slipping inside your mouth and pushing his tongue against yours. You moaned softly in response, tangling your fingers in his hair as you kissed him back.
"God, I’ve been thinkin’ about this for so long," Carmen whispered breathlessly against your lips, his hands exploring your body eagerly.
“Me too,” You responded by pushing him down further into the cushions of your couch, straddling his lap as you began to grind against him, and felt his cock straining against you underneath his pants.
"Oh, fuck Carmen," you gasped, locking eyes with him as you continued to move against him.
Carmen groaned in response, his hands gripping your hips tightly. "You’re so fuckin’ sexy, I fuckin’ love it when you say my name like that," he confessed, as his tongue traced along your collarbone. You liked knowing that he could be your Carmy in public, and your Carmen in private.
You started to pull the straps down on your sundress, but then he placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you from going any further. You gave him a questioning glance, his chest heaving as he looked into your eyes with a mixture of longing and fear. “Wait,” he muttered. "I... I…can't...we can't do this," he stammered, his voice filled with regret.
"Why not?" you asked, unable to keep the hurt entirely out of your voice.
"Because I'm afraid it will ruin what we have. You’re the only thing that makes sense in my life. I don't wanna lose that, I can’t lose that," he explained, his words heavy with emotion.
"You won’t,” you stated softly, realizing that you couldn't actually make that promise, and so your fingers hesitantly reached for his face. He closed his eyes, his jaw clenched as he struggled to find the right words.
“How can you know that?” he sighed.
“I don’t, but I have a good hunch,” you smiled, repeating the words you had told him the first time you two met.
You felt him connect the dots and he opened his eyes and smiled back at you and moved his hands until his fingers traced the tops of your thighs.
“I just want you… me… us to be sure. This will change everythin’ baby,” he whispered, his blue eyes looked darker somehow.
Baby.
You reached out to gently cup his face, bringing his gaze to meet yours. "Carmy, I want everything to change," you confessed.
The assurance you offered seemed to set Carmen off, he leaned forward and kissed you roughly, pulled you closer, and his hands roamed over your body until you were a tangled mess of limbs, and he was now lying on top of you on your couch.
He slipped his hand under your dress, over your panties and you gasped out in pleasure as his fingers rubbed lazy circles against your clothed cunt.
“Carmen,” you whimpered, looking up at him with glossy eyes.
“Gotta do this right baby, wanna take my time… get you all nice n’ ready before you take my cock,”
His words made your mouth pop open. You felt the ache between your legs become stronger because you realized that he was talker and that was your favorite.
“I wanna make you feel good with my fingers and my mouth first,” He murmured.
He lifted your dress to your waist, pushed your panties to the side, and looked down and groaned as he rested his hand directly above your heat. “I want to put my mouth right here on this gorgeous pussy,” he praised.
You moaned, trying to focus on what you could say, but you could barely remember how to breathe.
“Words,” he growled, as he looked at you hungrily, eyes dark and hooded.
“I want this. I want you Carmen, god, I want you so bad,”
“Fuck,” he made a throaty noise. “Good girl,” he hissed as his fingers slowly started to circle around your entrance. “You’re so fuckin’ wet, this for me?”
“It’s all for you, I’m yours,” you whispered, feeling vulnerable suddenly.
His eyes softened. “Oh, fuck baby, I’m yours too,” he said placing a gentle kiss on your lips and slipping his fingers inside of you as he swallowed your moans.
That night you learned that Carmen wasn’t as shy as you thought. In fact, Carmen surprised you by taking charge and confidently leading the way.
xx
“Things are a clusterfuck at the restaurant, it’s gonna be a long night, I don’t think I can come over tonight, or else I’m gonna wake you up at like 2 in the mornin’ baby,” Carmen said when he stopped by during his lunch break with an adorable pout on his face.
“That’s okay, I’ll just hang out with my other boyfriend,” you teased across your shoulder as you stocked up on some new wine inventory.
He walked up behind you. “Not funny,” he growled in your ear, as he playfully spanked your ass. You two hadn’t formally had that conversation, but you assumed you were his girlfriend considering how many times he would call you ‘Mine’ during intimate moments, claiming you as his. And you could tell he liked that you had just referred to him as his boyfriend.
“Carmy, it’s fine, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you sighed comfortably as you felt his lips edge down the side of your neck and then stop to plant a soft kiss on your shoulder.
“You’re not mad?” he whispered.
“I promise I’m not mad,” you reassured him, knowing his anxiety sometimes got the best of him and turned around to give him a soft kiss on his lips and were about to pull away but then he gripped your face firmly with his hands and pressed your forehead to his.
You two were still so new, it had only been a couple of weeks since you had slept together the first time, and you hadn’t told The Bear staff yet since you two were trying to live in this bubble for a little longer. Even though, if you were honest, you had a feeling they knew. A recent experience in Carmen’s office may have ended with you being just a little too loud.
But, you were pretty sure about one thing.
You were in love with Carmen Berzatto, and even though he hadn’t said it to you yet. You had a good hunch that he was in love with you too.
xx
I wanted to write Carmy in a way that showed that he is the shy and reserved person we all know, but that once he feels comfortable with someone (that he wants to pursue romantically), he subconsciously becomes affectionate and flirtatious. He may not be the most outwardly expressive person, but with the right person, his once hesitant and cautious demeanor softens, revealing a more confident and outgoing side of him. I hope this version of Carmy resonates with people because to me this is how I would envision him during a crush and entering a healthy relationship <3
Also, I was shell shocked to learn from the world of Google how complicated it is to receive the designation of Master Sommelier. There are only 279 in the entire world, and it really is one of the hardest exams in the world with a pass rate of 3-8%. But, I have faith in our reader achieving this feat one day. She’s a queen!
Thank you so much for reading! If you like this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging.
"Tell me you're mine" + Carmen, the prompts are soo good
Casual.
carmen berzatto x female reader
warnings - smut. cursing. carmens got a big ass ego
written for my 5k celebration - post here, masterlist here, inbox here.
“Tell me you’re mine.”
You look into his eyes in the mirror, feeling the way his arms tighten around you from behind. His chest is plastered to your back, your legs spread out over his thighs. He’s got you on the edge of the bed, watching yourselves like voyeurs.
“We agreed,” you pant, “that this was casual.”
“Casual?” he scoffs, curling his two fingers upwards and hitting the spot that makes you keen. “Look at yourself, baby. Does that look casual to you?”
You gaze into your own eyes, and try to shy away from it. You’re sweating, hair plastered to your forehead, hips writhing around. You’re not sure if you’re trying to get closer to him, or further away.
“There’s nothing casual how tight you are around my fucking fingers, babe.”
You whine.
“You know what’s not casual? The way I’ve got your come dripping down my hand right now.”
Your hips buck down into his, making him groan into your ear.
“I’ll tell you what’s not casual,” he whispers, low and slow. “The way you took my cock last night like you were fucking made for it.”
Your skin is on fire, nerve endings alight with the way he speaks to you. He’s so unassuming in everyday life, and then you get him into bed and he’s feral. He fucks you like he’s unhinged.
“Casual is not how I’d describe this, honey. Try again and I’ll let you come.”
You look in the mirror once again, and see a wrecked, debauched version of yourself staring back. No one else could break you down like this. You wouldn’t want them to.
“I’m yours,” you cry, back arching as his thumb presses firm circles into your clit. He adds a third finger just as you’re coming, and you writhe like a serpent, only staying upright thanks to Carmy’s strong arm wrapped around your middle.
“Thought so,” he chuckles.
There’s nothing casual about the things he promises to do to you tonight. You’re glad.
Mama and sugar doing bonding time. Maybe they leave the kids with Pete and Carmy and they go for a spa day and gossip
pete and carmy bonding time?? i'll cackle rn. i had to make it a blurb.
"Why does Pete have to come over here?" Carmen grumbles, burping Willow on his shoulder. You can see his sulking expression in the reflection of the vanity's mirror, rolling your eyes at his dramatics.
"You could've gone over there." You give him a pointed look, pulling your wedding ring and band out of the small jewelry dish.
"No," Carmen huffs. "I didn't plan on seeing Pete at all."
"Carmen," You hiss, giving a pointed look at Teddy, who's currently playing on your phone. "He's your brother-in-law." Carmen huffs. "Your children's uncle."
Carmen frowns, faltering under your unimpressed glare. "But... Baby, it's Pete."
"And he's always been lovely and kind and very supportive of you." You snap, rolling your eyes. "Honestly, Carmen, I don't know where this whole Pete hate thing comes from, but it's embarrassing."
"It's not hate." Carmen corrects quickly, following you into the closet. "It's just... You know how he is. He's just got that- I dunno he's just Pete."
"Pete treats your sister wonderful, treats his babies wonderful, treats our babies wonderful, treats your family wonderful, treats you wond-"
"-Alright, alright." Carmen huffs.
You frown at him, slipping on your shoes. "We'll be gone for a few hours. You can survive being cordial and nice with Pete for the sake of Teddy." You knew it was a low blow, using Teddy like that, but it was one you knew would work. "She loves playing with MJ and Maggie. You're going to deprive her of seeing her cousins because you think Pete's annoying?"
"No," Carmen said fiercely, defensively. "I never said that. I just said I'm not lookin' forward to it just bein' me and Pete. I don't," Carmen paused, looking down at Willow to avoid your gaze. "I don't know how to talk to him sometimes."
You smile softly, walking over to him, your hand sliding over his on Willow's back. "Baby, Pete talks enough for the both of you." You tease lightly, head tipping up to catch his lips in a sweet kiss. "Just talk to him about the restaurant, about New York, you know he just wants to talk to you."
The doorbell saved Carmen from answering, Teddy's screech and bounding feet interrupting you both. You frowned, stepping into the hall, shouting a warning at Teddy before you followed her to the front door.
Carmen looked down at Willow, the sounds of his niece and nephews mixing withe Pete's and Sugar's floated into the house. "Carm's burping Willow, but he should be here in a second." You said sweetly. His heart swelled at your covering for him, like second nature, like you knew what he needed before he did, giving him a few more minutes to mentally prepare and calm his anxieties.
"Carm! We're leaving!" Sugar yelled, her voice echoing down the hall. "I'm stealing your wife for the whole day, so you better come say bye!"
Carmen rolled his eyes, pressing his nose into Willow's hair. She still had that sweet baby smell lingering with the powdery baby lotion your lathered her in. He walked down the hall, turning into the kitchen where the three adults stood.
"Hey," Pete grinned widely. "You ready for this, Carm? Just the dudes today. Boys day- Well, I mean Teddy and Willow and Maggie. B-But just the dads today!" He rambled a little nervous, a little excited.
Carmen could feel your glare on him, letting his lips curl in a smile. "Yeah, we got it." He nodded at Pete. "You guys go have a good time."
You looked at him carefully. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Carmen nodded, lips brushing your cheek lightly. "You got my card?" He nodded at your purse. "Go have a day. You deserve it." He turned to Pete, a hint of a grimace that he tried to swallow down. "The dudes got it."
Pete cheered, your lips curling in a bright smile. "Thank you," You muttered, pressing a kiss to Willow's head. "I'll have my phone if you need me."
"Except when we're in the massage and the facial." Sugar glared at you lightly.
"I've got it." Carmen nods, reassuring you sweetly. "We've got it." He nodded at Pete, who beamed with excitement. "Go have fun."
"We will." Sugar pulled you towards the door. "Take care of my babies! Bye!"
Carmen sat in an slightly tense silence with Pete, the kids squealing in the other room, Willow yawning ready for her nap. Pete tapped his hands rhythmically on the counter. "Dad's day, amiright?"
Carmen fought back a cringe, rocking Willow. "Dad's day." He nodded, knowing Mikey was rolling in his grave with laughter right now.
The Hormones
Pairings: Carmy x Pregnant!Reader
Summary: You decided to go with Carmy to work, Carmy hesitated with bringing you along with you. You been dealing with pregnancy hormones recently. With the hormones hitting you, Richie had enough and lashes out on you making you upset.
Genre: Angst to comfort
Warnings: Cursing, Crying, mentions of being pregnant, Richie being mean, Yelling.
MasterList
A/N: My requests are open! 💜
“Alright baby, I’m off to work.” Carmen announces as walks over to you in the kitchen. He places a hand on your bump rubbing it gently before kissing your forehead.
“Actually, Carmy?” You said making him go back to face you.
“What’s wrong baby?” He asked as he softly cupped your face worriedly. You smiled at him being so protective of you.
“Can I come with you today? I’m tired of being home by myself.” You said with pleading eyes.
Carmen sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Are you sure babe? I don’t want you getting tired of being bored at the place. Plus, you should be resting.” Carmen loves when you come along with him to work, but with your hormones being more stronger and you being more sensitive, he hesitated. You literally started to cry over tying your shoe because your stomach was in the way.
You pouted, “Please Carmy? I promise I won’t cause trouble I just wanna be with you, I get sad when I’m alone here.” Your eyes were already watering making Carmen panic.
“Okay, okay baby, don’t get upset. I hate when you get upset, it hurts me. Of course you can come, but if things to start to overwhelm you, you tell me okay?” You nodded making him smile and peck your lips. He grabbed your hand as the two you of walked out of the apartment.
“Look who finally showed up!” Richie announced as Carmen walked in with you, Carmen rolled his eyes.
“Shut the fuck Richie, get to work.” Carmen shook his head as he led you through the kitchen.
“What brings you here sweets?” Richie asked you as he gave you a hug, you smiled.
“Didn’t feel like staying home, I need to get out and enjoy life before the little one comes.” Richie nodded as he continued to work.
Tina smiled as she walked up to you giving you a hug and a kiss before rubbing your bump. “How are you doing mama? Baby doing good?”
You smiled at Tina’s comfort, “Healthy baby, but it’s killing me.” You whined making Tina frown.
“Aye, poor thing. You need anything?”
“Not right now, I’m okay thank you.” Carmen yelled something at the others, as you walked towards his office.
“Oh, hey Y/N!” You quickly turned to see Sydney waving, you quickly smiled at you and gave her a hug.
“Hey Syd! How you doing?”
“Good, good, and you?”
“Ugh, it’s hard dealing with a fetus in your stomach.” You joked as you rubbed your bump.
“Well hey, almost time y’know?”
You nodded with a smile, “I can’t wait.” You quickly said goodbye as Carmen led you to sit in his office chair.
“You hungry or anything?” He asked you as he ran a hand over your back, you shook your head.
“Not at the moment.” You shrugged
“Alright, let me know if anything.” He quickly gave you a kiss to your lips making you sigh.
“Love you.” You said with a smile making him smile back.
“Love you more.”
It’s been over two hours already and you starting to get cranky. You were whining as you had your head down. Your back was killing you and you felt a headache coming on from the heat from the kitchen. You whined as you slowly got up before wincing as your back started to hurt. You rubbed your bump as you opened the office door entering the kitchen.
“Guys, I fucking told you a million times! Get your shit together, I’m not fucking playing!” Carmen yelled as everyone yelled “Yes Chef!” In unison. Carmen sighed before he spotted you with a frown on your face.
“Hey baby, you okay? What’s wrong?” He cupped your face as he examined your features.
“I’m getting hungry carm, it’s hot I’m dying! And my back is hurting!” You said a little too loud, Carmen cursed in his mind knowing you were getting cranky.
“I’m sorry babe, you wanna sit by the booths? You might cool off better there. And you want something to eat?” He led you to the entrance of the diner, before you stopped him.
“No Carmen, nothing is helping me. I’m tired and hungry and it’s making me upset!” You could feel tears forming making Carmen cringe.
“Hey, hey, hey. Relax, I know baby. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Just take a deep breath and I’ll make you something to eat, what do you feel like having, hm?” He said softly not wanting to make you more upset, he quickly rubbed your back making you whimper as small tears fell down your face.
“I-I I don’t know what I want to eat! Basically anything I eat makes me puke! I can’t take it anymore!” You were starting to get more loud making everyone in the kitchen look at you and Richie finally blew it.
“Jesus Christ! Why did you even come if you’re gonna act like a bitch?” Richie yelled from the other side, everyone turned to look at Richie who had a frown on his face.
“Richie!” Carmen yelled back at his cousin making Richie shake his head.
“Nah! Because why the fuck is she here if she’s gonna be bitchy about everything? Make that make sense to me!”
“Richie, you better shut the fuck up! She’s pregnant, I don’t care if she’s here or not! Don’t make me fucking hurt you cousin!”
“Let me see you try, jagoff.” Richie said with a sarcastic chuckle. Carmen’s eyes twitched.
“Don’t even start with me Richie! You’re the fucking jagoff, don’t start with that bullshit I-
Carmen stopped his yelling when he heard a sniffle and a whimper. Everyone turned to look at you, tears fell down your face as you hiccuped.
“I-I’m sorry.” You said through broken sobs, everyone just froze as they watched you cry.
“Baby.” Carmen said softly as he quickly walked over to you. “Hey, look at me.” You pushed his hands away as you shook your head. You then turned around and walked over to the back door, you opened the door as you went outside to the cool breeze.
Everyone just stood there in silence, then looked at Richie.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Richie! How dare you do such a thing to that poor girl! She’s pregnant for god sake!” Tina yelled at Richie as she slapped his arm with a frown.
“Not cool Richie, seriously.” Marcus said with a shook of his head as he followed Tina outside.
“Do better Richie, honestly.” Sydney said as she followed the rest outside to console you.
Richie just stood there frozen with his mouth slightly opened.
“What the fuck is your problem!?!” Carmen roared as he shoved Richie into a wall nearby, making Richie stumble.
“Chill Carmen!”
“No, you chill! How are you gonna say that to her huh?!?! Don’t you have a kid?!?! Didn’t you deal with this too?!? How dare you come at Y/N like that! She didn’t deserve that shit! She’s seven fucking months pregnant! Of course she’s gonna feel like shit!” All Carmen saw was red as his shoulders rose up and down from his yelling rant. His heart was pounding as his hand shook under Richie’s shirt he had a grip on.
“Chill the fuck out Carmen! I’m sorry, that just came over me! I mean it! I didn’t mean for that happen, I just let my inner thoughts get to me! I know she didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry alright?” Richie said in a calming voice to get Carmen to calm down.
Carmen gave him a glare as he let go his shirt, “You better fucking apologize to her, not me. Understand?” Richie nodded with hands in surrender, Carmen huffed as he first walked outside, Richie behind him.
You had your head buried in your hands as Tina comforted you, your head rested on her shoulder as she rubbed your back in comfort , your shoulders shook with each sob.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for-for that to-to happen.” You whimpered, making Tina shake her head.
“Nonsense mija, you are carrying a child. You have every right to feel this way. Richie is being an asshole, don’t let him get to you mama.”
You removed your hand away from your face before looking up to see Carmen and Richie. Tina moved away but not before giving your head a peck as she told everyone to go back inside, leaving you, Carmen, and Richie alone.
You looked down at your feet, not making eye contact with either of the men. Carmen didn’t say anything as he walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you.
You couldn’t help but feel more tears fall down as you softly cried into his chest. Carmen softly shushed you as he rubbed your back knowing it was hurting you. He whispered sweet nothing in your ear as he kissed your head and forehead repeatedly.
“I-I I’m sorry, I didn’t m-mean for this to happen.” You said through hiccups, Carmen shook his head.
“Hey, no, stop that. This wasn’t your fault baby. You’re pregnant, you have every right to be mad, upset, and sad. This is a hard time for you. But you should’ve stayed home baby. It’s always chaotic here, and I don’t want that to overwhelm you. I want you to be okay and feel comfortable. I know it’s hard for you, but I’m here always for you okay?”
He cupped your face making you look up at him, your lip trembled as tears fell down your cheeks. He quickly wiped them away, before kissing your lips a few times. He gave you a hug making you wrap your arms around his waist, enjoying his touch.
“I love you, y’know that?” He said softly in your ear making you nod in his chest. He swayed you back and forth before facing Richie, who had a frown on his face.
“I think Richie has something to say to you too.” Carmen said softly making you open your eyes to see Richie with a sad frown. He cleared his throat before speaking.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you Y/N, I really am. I admit I was being a jagoff and all that shit I said was wrong and that you don’t deserve that. But, I hope you can forgive me because you’re my family and I don’t want to hurt you like that again.”
You actually felt another set of tears coming at Richie’s apology, you loved Richie as family. You hated what he said to you, but how can you not forgive him.
“Oh Richie, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry that I triggered you to go off on me. I’m sorry, you’re a sweet man and I know you didn’t mean it.” You hiccuped as you walked over to Richie before wrapping your arms around his waist bringing him into a hug. Richie’s eyes went wide, not expecting you to forgive him so easily. He tensed up as you hugged him, but quickly relaxed and wrapped his arms around you.
“I’m sorry kid, really. I was an asshole for that.” He said softly as he rubbed your back in comfort making you look up at him with a smile. You stood on your tippy toes before pecking his cheek with a smile making him smile back at you. You turned to face Carmen who walked over to you and Richie.
“Don’t pull that shit again cousin or I swear I will beat your ass.” Richie rolled his eyes at him.
“Yeah, yeah cousin, I got it. Jesus.” He shook his head making you chuckle a bit at the two men.
“You still hungry baby?” Carmen asked you as the three of you walked back into the kitchen. You nodded your head at that.
“I’m having those cravings again actually.” You said as you held onto Carmen’s hand. He led you to the booths in the front, Carmy smiled.
“What’s the craving today?” Carmen said as the two of you sat down at a booth.
“Pickles and ice cream.” You said with a smile making Carmen give you a disgusting look. You smacked his arm before laughing.
“How the fuck do you enjoy that?” He said as he got up, you laughed.
“It’s not me, it’s the baby!” You put your hands up in surrender.
“Sure it is baby.” He said with a smile before leaning down to kiss you before entering the kitchen.
“Marcus! Get me a cup of the ice cream you made and Tina! Get me some pickles! Y/N is having her weird ass cravings again!”
“Carmen! Don’t announce it to everyone!
Tag-List: @otomefan @chunnies @slasherstories123 @avengersfan25 @th3h0nkz
Neon Sticky Notes
prompt: ( requested ) reminding your boyfriend you love him one sticky note at a time.
pairing: Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto x female!reader pairing: Carmy x Peach
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 2.4k+
note: baby gets what baby wants! God, do i hope this is what you want, my baby...
warnings: probably cursing, Carmy needs a nap, men being simps, this is short and sweet! it's FINALLY edited!!!
You knew he was struggling. Worn-out, beaten down, exhausted, run ragged, amuck, and into the ground.
It was evident in the way he carried himself; the prominent bags under his eyes, the way he tossed and turned in bed before being found on the living room couch in the morning. His hair seemed greasier then usual, his skin turning gaunt and grey, and you knew he wasn't making time to eat.
By comparison, you had a simple job, something corporate and in an office. Something that made decent money; something you were good at, something you could find pride in doing.
However, Carmy's job as a chef was different; being more than stressful, and while coupled together for years now, it was still a work-in-progress each time Carmen started on a new venture. Owning, running, and converting The Beef into something "better" should've been no different, only it was - it was totally different. Carmy was frazzled, looking deranged some evenings, as if operating on adrenaline, and you were at a loss on how to help.
So, you resorted to a natural instinct - communicating.
Carmy needed reassurance, he needed support, he needed to be loved for who he is, exactly how he was, in order to keep his head on straight. You never did mind the challenge that was Carmen Berzatto, finding him akin to a puzzle. So, on your way home from work one evening, you stopped at a CVS to grab a pack of neon, multi-colored sticky notes and a brand new Sharpie marker.
You had an idea.
When you got back to your shared apartment, you unloaded the groceries you needed onto the counters before calling Carmy. "Hey, Peaches," he answered on the third ring, usual kitchen clatter in the background, "everything okay?"
"Yeah, all good."
"Sure? Sound outta breath."
"The elevator's broken, I got groceries," you groaned, "and have been skipping the gym for a couple weeks."
He chuckled, "Never skip leg day, baby, you know it's our house motto."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever - hush. I'm just wondering if you had an ETA for tonight? I have an early morning meeting, so I want to go to sleep early."
"Uh," he trailed, a muffled ruffling sounding over the line before a small clatter that made him sigh, "yeah, um, you know what? I really don't know, baby, I'm sorry. You do your thing and I'll be quiet when I get in, just leave my stuff on the couch."
"No, come to bed," you whined slightly, "I miss you."
"Awh, yeah, miss you, too, Peach. I'll be there," he promised.
You finished putting all groceries away; the dishes following, then you got started on prepping dinner. Look, you were no cook - that was all Carmy. But you weren't totally useless in a kitchen, so, you didn't mind taking over most meals now that Carmy was waist-deep in The Beef's bullshit. You played music as you cooked, poured a glass of wine, danced around, and tried to think of a list of encouraging things to remind Carmy. You ate dinner alone, and when done with clean-up, faced off with your sticky notes and Sharpie.
The first note was scribbled and stuck on the covered plate in the fridge: Bone Apple Teeth, Chef!
Then you wrote a note to leave at the door where Carm was sure to drop his keys: make sure you eat the plate I left you!
Humming, you pondered a moment before smirking and writing a third note to be left on the TV remote: I know you too well. come to bed.
Lastly, you wrote a fourth and final note to be left in the bathroom: great job today, Chef! you're killing it!
You were fast asleep when he got home. He found the note in the key bowl, smirking at your kindness and thoughtfulness. Carmy saw the messily-drawn heart and pocketed the note, toeing off his shoes and entering the kitchen. He reheated the plate you left, pocketed the second note after a silent grin of amusement, and when ready, took his hot food to the couch.
Carmy laughed when he found your third note. He left it on the table as he ate, half-watching the news segment he flipped on. When he was full and his plate clear, Carmy turned the TB off, pocketed your note, set everything in the dishwasher, started it, and then went into the bathroom. Another soft chuckle emitted as he pulled the final note in his hand - and you already know he saved it.
When he got in your shared room, he made sure to leave the notes in a random shoe box, stashing it in his closet, changed for the night, and crawled into bed with you.
This was a regular occurrence now: Carmy came home late to a barrage of sticky notes, saved them all, then crashed in bed with you. You missed each other, but understood scheduling just didn't line up right now. It wasn't like you two never saw one another, you still did - but it wasn't like it was. Time together now felt fleeting, as if you had to savor everything, so you made the most of your situation.
Was it overcompensation? Possibly. But Carmy adored your notes.
Sometimes, you'll be sat in the living room, reading a book, working on your laptop, or scrolling Instagram on your phone, while he cooks and he finds a note left on the milk carton that reads: I am UDDERLY in love with you!
Get it? 'Cause cows have udders? You were pretty proud of that pun.
Other times, he'll be up at an unGodly hour, getting a steamy hot shower, and you'll come in to pee. He doesn't think anything of anything until he gets out of the stall only to see a neon orange sticky note on the counter, saying: i love your butt! lemme pinch it!
Carmy feels himself looking forward to your little surprises. Some were funny and a little vulgar, like the note found on the eggs: fertilize MY eggs!
Some notes were more innocent, like the one he found in his shoe one morning, reading: I'm so proud of you. have a great day today!
Some just said: be home for dinner @ 8! making your fav!
Others were found, saying: you're so fucking handsome. I'm one lucky ducky! You even tried to draw a little duck.
Some notes were motivational: you're doing a GREAT job, baby!
Some notes reminded: you have a dentist appt @ 10!
Some notes were sweet: call me during your break, cutie, i miss your voice!
And others found on the bathroom mirror were playful: you look too good today, go change! A second note added: don't need anyone looking at your fine ass! A third: i'm the only one allowed to look #respectfully
Each and every note had a drawn heart, being saved to a hidden shoebox. He found notes in his usual coffee mug, reminding him you loved him. He found notes on his toothpaste tube, telling him he was doing a great job. Cereal boxes now promised Carmy they were proud of him, pastas told him to have a great day, and the light switches assured reminded him how special he was.
The microwave told him you felt blessed to be his and in his jacket pocket, he was told how lucky you are to love him. Some notes swore to him he was one of a kind, others explicitly detailed what parts of him you wanted in parts of you, and a few reminded him of important dates, appointments, deadlines, anniversaries, birthdays, etc..
Sometimes, he found little treats with these sticky notes. Like when you had to make brownies for your little sister's bake sale, you left him a Tupperware full with a hot pink note, labeled: for the love of my life!
And then... One morning, when you got up for work, Carmy was already gone for his day. You went through your normal routine, entering the kitchen with the intention of making a to-go cup of coffee, only to pause and grin when a neon green sticky note greeted you from the stovetop. Written in messy, fresh, black Sharpie was: got you on my mind. love you, be home @ 6 tonight!
Carmy drew own heart and you beamed at the reciprocation. You didn't mind the distance for now, knowing he was busy and it wouldn't last forever; but the fact that he could reassure you as much as you could him warmed your heart. You felt like the Grinch when his heart grew in size, just without the painful grunting. If anything, you felt euphoric from his little note - thinking it was reassuring to still communicate even when your schedules differed.
The day passed sluggishly - only because you were actually excited to go home. Ironically, your last client of the day didn't leave until a little later than scheduled, so, when you FINALLY got off work and made it home, Carmy had beaten you. When you got through the door, you were met with a heavenly aroma; using Gandalf's advice and following your nose to enter the kitchen.
You sighed dreamily when you came to a halt in the doorway, bottom lip trapped between your teeth to attempt and restrain your ecstatic grin. Carmy was shirtless at the stove, stirring a pasta dish to coat it in the sauce of his choice. "Hi, pretty peach," he beamed at you.
"Oh, I've missed this sight," you squealed, rushing to his side to throw your arms around his neck. "Hi, baby, hi, baby, hi, baby," you chanted between chaste kisses to his cheek.
"Someone missed me," he laughed, cheeks blooming a bright red - but not from the kitchen heat.
"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, and you know I don't do well alone, I need attention," you teased with a pout, his arm slithering around your waist - but a crinkle noise caught your attention. "Woah, hey. Did you get a new tattoo?" You pondered, looking down at his arm that was protectively bandaged.
He smirked and held his arm out, "Wanna take the plastic off for me?"
"What'd you get?"
"Find out," he whispered, staring at you with his intense baby blue eyes; waiting as you calculated your next move. Slowly, you reached out and unwrapped the protective cling wrap, getting to the gauze, then slowly peeling that from his skin.
"Ohhh, my fucking God," you whispered.
"Like it?"
"Are these... My hearts?"
He nodded, "I got 6 of them from your notes tattooed. 'Cause we've been together six years. Figured, each year, I could add one - but you gotta draw it."
"You're ridiculous," you laughed, in minor disbelief. "What made you do this?"
He eased, "You. I've never felt so confident in my life before, and I know you're a huge part of that. It feels right, being with you feels right and I wanted to show you that I see and appreciate all you do." His tone softened, "I wouldn't be me without you, Peach."
"You'd still be Carmy."
"A totally different Carmy, though," he chuckled. "I actually like who I am with you, baby. But look here, I know it's been real hectic lately, sweet girl, with the restaurant, but it's not gonna be like this forever. We're makin' progress, we're gonna get this settled."
"I know," you assured, "'cause if anyone's gonna get this done, it's you. Just don't forget to breathe every now and then - you're drowning in this stress and I need you to stay afloat, Carm."
"I'm good, Peaches, got you on my team so I can't lose," he eased, tucking you into his chest for an embrace. After a minute and a tight squeeze, he sighed, pecked the crown of your head, then mumbled, "Why don't you go wash up? Dinner's almost ready."
You agreed, stealing one last (prolonged) kiss before scampering off to the bedroom. When you got there, you almost tripped when you came to a halt; laughing loudly as the entire bed was covered in an array of neon colored sticky notes. Until you got closer and realized each note detailed a different reason Carmy loved you; from the way you search for him in your sleep to how you resembled a Gremlin if not fed within certain hours. From how you weren't afraid to dress up for the Renaissance Festival to how you throw blankets in the dryer for 15 minutes before movie nights. In fact, "movie night" was on a single note, being a fond yet routine date. You read each note carefully, tears wanting to build but you refused to let them, yet it was difficult when this was the sweetest gesture you've ever known.
Even things you were insecure about, like dimples or weight or hair color, was highlighted as a reason Carmy loved you. He listed your authenticity, generosity, thoughtfulness, charisma, incredible brain but even bigger heart. He praised your wit, your humor; adored your sneezes, and looked forward to coming home every night because he knew he was coming home to you.
You've never felt so loved before, wondering if this was what Carmy felt each time he found one of your notes.
Movement caught your peripheral, and when you looked up, Carmy was leaning in the doorway of the bedroom; arms crossed and lips pulled in a small smirk. He didn't speak, he just stared at you. You were at a loss for words, opening and closing your mouth twice; holding most of the sticky notes in your hands, but then, you settled on telling him simply, "I love you so fucking much, Carmy."
Dinner might've allegedly burned that night, but so did your love and passion for one another. Even the smallest of gestures can go farther than we anticipate, and showing someone you care could be as simple as leaving them notes around the apartment you cohabitate in, on neon colored Post It's.
Wanna know the cool thing about adult relationships? You get to love your partner out loud; being unapologetic in how you emote, and in return, you're loved by them. Each person deserves to be loved in the way they want to be loved - but you know how fucking great it is when two lovers respond to the same language? What I mean is, it could be considered rare that you, who liked to leave notes, would meet and fall in love with someone who liked to collect and read those notes. Your love language was the same as Carmy's, part of the reason you both worked so well together - but also why one day, he'd add plenty more hand drawn hearts to the collection on his forearm.
requesting rules and masterlist
The Bear masterlist
berzatto soccer team
cw: pure filth. smut, breeding kink
Carmen Berzatto gives you three babies and still wants more. He won’t be satisfied until you’ve given him a soccer team of little Berzattos to run around the house and wreak havoc. Carmy Will stuff his cum back into you after pumping you full and make you lift up your hips so that his seed takes again and again, and again. He will literally hold your stomach down, pressing hard while he’s fucking you and whisper how soon enough you’ll be full with his baby again. “My little breeding whore, can’t stop giving me babies can you?” He’ll whisper into your ears, biting at them and then moving down to your neck where he leaves love bites. Because not only does he want you marked with his seed, his babies and his initials that were dangling around your neck, he also wanted physical marks of himself all over you. He’s filthy, a man gone wild. His blue orbs are crazed as he works himself into you roughly, not bothering to stop “Gonna fuck another baby into you right after this one” he groans, the both of you whining at his words. He won’t be satisfied until you’re round again, clad in your pretty floral sundresses, your ever manicured fingers cradling your bump while you played with the toddlers. "I’m gonna pump you so full of my cum. You're gonna take all of it and you're gonna make me a daddy again, aren't you, baby?" At this rate you’re almost blind, you’ve seen the light, forgotten how to breathe even and he’s still going. Never wanting to stop, never want to get out of you. Because in his animal brain it’s where he belongs, he’s not complete if not inside of you.
baby blues |carmen berzatto x reader|
prompt: two blue lines change all your plans, and carmen doesn't take it well. or how you tell carmen you're pregnant.
read the entire dad!carmen berzatto masterlist here!
contains: language, pregnancy, angst, carmen's an asshole, alludes to past parent trauma, hurt/comfort.
"Shit."
The hiss of your tone bounced off the green tiles of your bathroom, an eerie echo that rang dully through your mind. A reminder that this was all too real, happening right now in front of you- to you.
After weeks of what you thought was a stomach bug- retching at almost anything, exhaustion, aches- you had come to realize it might not just be a virus when you looked at the unopened box of tampons under the sink.
You were late.
A frantic trip to Walgreens, an hour of avoidance out of pure fear, three glasses of water, and two tests later; you were here. Looking at the two mocking blue lines on both tests. You were pregnant.
You called your best friend, Alicia, unsure of who else to confide in. Scared, emotional, overwhelmed, you sobbed into the phone, hand holding your head on the edge of the bed. "Carmen is gonna lose his shit."
"Carmen is not gonna lose his shit." Alicia soothed over your heaving gasps. "He will be fine. You both will be fine. You're married. What's the issue?"
You shook your head, swiping your thumb under your eyes. "You don't... Carmen and I haven't, like, ever really talked about kids." You muttered. It was mostly true. You hadn't really, other than euphoric pillow talk ramblings where you both were just bubbly with love, spilling shared wishes under sheets.
"I thought you said you wanted kids?"
"Yeah, but not now." You sobbed into the phone. "I don't... I don't think I'm ready to be a mom. I'm not gonna be good at that. I don't-I don't know anything about kids! And-And I can barely cook, and- Alicia, I couldn't keep our cactus alive! I killed our fucking cactus, and you think I'm ready for a kid?"
Alicia laughed lightly on the other end. "Ok, true, but you won't kill your kid. You'll be much more attached to it than the cactus." She countered easily, calmly. "And you'll be a good mom, babe. I know you'll be. And Carmen knows too. You know he does. Call your OBGYN and get an appointment. Make sure this is legit and get your vitamins and let me know what you need from me."
Two days later, you were laid on the cool paper at the doctor's office, eyes wide watching her drag the wand over your tummy. Seven weeks. The ultrasound clutched in your hand had an arrow where the baby was, it was still so small. A blip, a splotch right on your plans.
You decided to tell Carmen that night. He knew something was off with you, starting to get more and more suspicious. It was only a matter of time.
"Hey, baby." You grinned as excited as you could when he came home.
"Hey," Carmen chirped, grinning back at you when you kissed him sweetly, a little longer than usual, not that he minded. "How are you doin', baby? Good day?"
"Yeah, it was." You quipped, throat tightening, desperately trying to keep your voice from cracking. "I, uh, I have a surprise for you."
"A surprise?" Carmen's brows lifted, dropping his bag by the door. "What kinda surprise, huh? Somethin' under this?" He teased, hand sliding up your shorts, palming at your ass and making you squirm.
You couldn't help the fleeting thought that he wouldn't be able to do that for long. Not when a baby was in the house. Your throat burned with tears at the thought.
"No." You shook your head. "Just... Here, sit right here for me and I'll be right back." You kissed his cheek sweetly, running to the spare bedroom for the ultrasound. You wondered if this would be the baby's nursery. Or maybe upstairs in the makeshift workout room Carmen used. It felt odd planning this type of thing, thinking about this.
Your hands were sweaty, trying not to wrinkle the printed photo. It was your first after all. The first picture of many. Ones you secretly hoped would line the walls of your house. Pictures of the baby, with you and Carmen.
You hoped Carmen would be in them.
That horrid thought always made it's way back into your mind, rattling you to your core.
"Close your eyes." You tried to sing-song, playful and light like you usually would. The kind of tone that was silly, left Carmen grinning and doing what you said. Instead, it sounded tired.
Carmen still covered his eyes anyways. You took a soft breath, placing the photo in front of him. "Ok, y-you can open." You whispered.
Carmen's brow lifted, looking at you carefully before down at the table. He stilled, face unmoving, body halted, eyes zoned in on the ultrasound.
"Wh-What-What is this?" Carmen's tone was hushed, tight, like his chest felt. He was sure this wasn't what he thought it was. It couldn't be.
"I, um, you know I-I've been feeling not great." You started, wringing your hands in front of him. "And I... I haven't had my period in a while, so I went to the store and... and I got a test, and it was..." You motioned down to the ultrasound. "I'm pregnant, Carmen."
The house was still. That same eerie stillness creeping back in, looming over both of you in such a sickening way, it had your stomach twisting.
Carmen blinked, shaky hands picking up the ultrasound, refusing to look at you. "Oh."
"Oh?" You repeated. "Carmen, I-I said I'm pregnant."
"No, no, I, uh, yeah, I-I heard you." Carmen nodded, leg bouncing under the table. "I just... I thought you were on birth control."
"Carmen, what?" You snapped. "I am."
"Then-Then how the fuck-"
"-Oh, don't you fuckin' dare, Berzatto." You hissed, rolling your eyes at him, snatching the ultrasound off the table.
"I'm not fuckin' blaming you, but-but how?" Carmen could feel his heart rate rising, ears ringing and head spinning with that old, familiar feeling of a panic attack coming on.
"How?" You gawked at him. "Carmen, it's not, like, a one-hundred percent guarantee, and-and... Come on, Carmen, we've been fucking a lot lately."
"I don't..." Carmen stopped himself, his hand rubbing over his eyes. Your heart skipped, chest aching with fear when you looked at him. Carmen pushed his chair out, standing and pacing around the kitchen, hands on his hips, lips in a thin line. "I-I need to think. Fuck, I need to think, just-just..."
You tracked him, your own heart hammering loud in your ears. Carmen snatched his cigarettes, hands shaking when he turned them over in his hands slowly. You could practically hear his thoughts, when the baby is here, he can't smoke anymore.
"I need a fuckin' second, ok? I need to fuckin' think!" Carmen boomed, voice thundering off the walls, making you jump. Carmen snatched his lighter and Spirits, stomping out the front door, the slam of the door the last thing you heard before the house settled and stilled again. Your worst possible scenario played out in front of you, becoming a reality too.
You were alone.
"Cousin, can I ask you, what the fuck your fuckin' problem is?" Richie grit, sliding beside Carmen. "The fuck are you being such a jagoff about, right now?"
"I'm being a jagoff?" Carmen snapped, slamming the knife down. His eyes were wild, hair even wilder. Curls matted and sticking out like they did when Carmen was stressed, when he'd ran his hands through them too much.
"Yeah, you're bein' a fuckin' jagoff." Richie countered, voice raising over Carmen's. "You look like shit, you smell like shit, and you're treatin' everyone here like fuckin' shit. So what's the fuckin' issue?"
"Fuck you, Richie, alright? Fuck you. Get the fuck outta my fuckin' face!" Carmen roared, the vein in his neck protruding when he did, sending the few chefs still in the kitchen retreating before they were screamed at next.
"Y'know why don't you just fuckin' calm down? Makin' everyone here fuckin' miserable with your bad attitude. No wonder-" Richie stopped, eyes flicking down to Carmen. His shoulders dropped, sighing heavy at his own revelation. "What'd you do?"
"What? What did I... Fuck off, I'm not in the-"
"-Nah, Cousin. What did you do?" Richie shook his head. "Why's she not here today, huh?"
"I'm right here." Natalie muttered, turning the corner, balancing two cups and a large work bag. "I had to take Chelle to Pete's office so he can take her to dance, and traffic was..." Natalie laughed cynically, shaking her head.
Carmen felt his stomach twist, jaw tightening. That would be you two before you knew it. All over the place, late to shit because of the kid. Just like Sugar and fucking Pete. That made him Pete.
"Not you, but I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Richie muttered, pressing a chaste kiss to Sugar's cheek. "Carmen fucked up."
"I did not-"
"-You fucked up? On what, bear?" Natalie blinked, frowning lightly. "Oh, before I forget, where's my favorite sister in law? I have her-" Richie gave her a pointed look. Sugar stopped, face falling in realization. "Oh, that's... Carm, what did you do?"
"Can you two just fuck off? Fuck!" Carmen roared, kicking a pot under the table.
"Wow, anger issues much?" Sugar rolled her eyes at his dramatics. "Is this what you did? Is that why she isn't here?"
"No, Natalie, you're pissin' me the fuck off-"
"Alright!" Richie clapped his hands, cutting them both off. "Family meeting. Ok? Meeting time. Right now."
"I don't have time-" Carmen started, Richie just clapping his hands on his shoulders, shoving him away from the table.
"Natalie, family meeting." Richie waved her in.
"Family meeting?" Fak turned the corner, eyes lit up hopefully.
"Not with you, you fuckin'..." Richie huffed, shaking his head. "Me, Nat, and Carm are having a meeting. Do your jobs, ok? Don't bother us, just... handle it, alright? Thank you. Every second counts and all that bullshit." Richie nodded towards the staff, shutting Carmen's office door behind him.
"Carm, you... Are you ok?" Natalie winced, looking at her younger brother.
Carmen ran his hands over his eyes, slumped in his desk chair, knees bouncing nervously. His breaths labored and ragged in his hands. Richie's eyes cut to Natalie's.
"Cousin," Richie's voice was softer this time. "What is goin' on?"
Carmen took a shaky breath in, Richie stilling at the sound of his emotions. "You... You were right. I fucked up." Carmen muttered. "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad." Carmen's voice was tight, thick with tears he was trying to choke back.
Natalie stepped forward slowly. "Carmen, what did you do?" She said as calmly as she could. "Just-Just tell us, and we'll... we'll try and help you."
"Did you cheat on her?" Richie asked, brows furrowed in disgust.
"No, what? Why the... No, no, no, I-I..." Carmen leaned back in the chair, hands knotted in his hair. "She's pregnant."
Richie and Natalie paused, both sighing slightly in relief. "Oh my God, that's great!"
"Yeah, I mean, Cousin, I thought you... I'm glad you didn't, but that's great!"
"Aw, is that why she's been sick? Poor thing. I knew it! You know Pete said that, and I-" Natalie started, Carmen's sudden jerk of his body, sitting in the chair with frantic eyes stopped her.
"I don't know!" Carmen blurted, shaking his head, refusing to look at them. At their furrowed brows of concern. He couldn't face them. Tell them what he'd done.
"You don't know?" Sugar frowned in confusion. "You don't know if she's pregnant?"
"I-I..." Carmen felt his chest tightening, burning with that familiar ache. He tried to breathe in, slow and long, counting back from ten like his therapist told him, but his chest still ached. "I left."
The room filled with that same eerie silence, the one that seemed to be following him around lately. The one that crept into the room when you showed him the ultrasound, the same one that followed him into the restaurant last night.
"You left?"
"You fuckin' what?"
Natalie and Richie gawked, eyes wide and frantic, looking down at Carmen.
"Cousin... What the fuck? You don't... Holy shit." Richie muttered, shaking his head.
"Carmen, have you lost your mind?" Natalie snapped. She was angry- no, furious. "You left your wife? You left your pregnant wife?"
"Yes, fuck, yes, I just... I needed to fuckin' think!" Carmen threw his hands out. "I can't think! She just... We weren't planning it and-and then... I just needed to think!"
"Then think at home! Or-Or with the person you're having a baby with, Carmen, Jesus!" Natalie roared back.
"Cousin, you... you fucked up." Richie said solemnly, nodding in agreement. "I mean, I've done a lot of shit. A lot, ok? Just ask Tiff. But I...I never fuckin' left."
"No, she just fuckin' left you, right? Tiff couldn't take you bein' an-"
"Hey, woah, take it fuckin' easy, Cousin. Watch it. This ain't about me." Richie snarled, finger jabbing in Carmen's direction. "I didn't fuck this up, ok? You did. This is your shit. We're just tryin' to fuckin' help you, so why don't you do all that de-escelatin' bullshit and take a fuckin' breath and relax."
Carmen's teeth ground tight, eyes flickering over to Natalie. "I'm with Richie on this." She snapped. "You did fuck up. Huge."
Carmen could feel the burn, rising in his throat. Was it fear? Vomit? Tears? Regret? All of the above?
"I know, I know, fuck, I know." Carmen muttered, falling back into the chair. "I just... I know, and-and now I don't know..." Carmen could feel his heart rate, waves of guilt and realization crashing over him, leaving him feeling sick.
Carmen stood quickly, hands tangled in his hair, pacing in the small area of the office. "Holy shit, she's gonna leave me. She-She's gonna leave me, and-and... Fuck! Why do I always do this? I always fuck up! Always! Like... What the fuck? Why-Why-"
"-Carmen." Sugar said slowly, hands on his shoulders, stopping him. "Hey, breathe. Breathe. Just... Just relax, ok?"
"No, no, no, I-I can't fuckin' relax. I-I got to-" Carmen rambled, his chest squeezing, burning.
"Carm, look, just... Just do the breathing thing. Listen to Natalie." Richie nodded towards Sugar. "And we'll get it handled, alright? We can't fix this until you calm the fuck down."
"Richie," Natalie hissed, rolling her eyes in irritation. "Carmen, breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. Innnnn and Out." She mimicked for him, slow pulls of air and soft exhales.
Carmen could hear you. Hear you in his head telling him to calm down, feel your hands on his cheeks, your soft praises and coos. His heart ached but it tricked his mind enough to listen, shaky rasps of air falling in and out until he was on sitting in the chair, knee bouncing with adrenaline.
Natalie shook her head lightly, looking over at Richie, then Carmen. "You need to go talk to her."
"I know. I know, Nat, but I got a dinner rush-"
"Carmen." Natalie sneered, in that tone. The tone she used usually with her own kids. A tone of finality.
"I got it covered, Cousin, alright? I got it." Richie nodded, patting Carmen on his back. "Just... Go figure your shit out."
"Yeah." Natalie huffed, eyes narrowed at her younger brother. "You better bring that poor girl some flowers or something. Better make it up to her, Carmen, that is so gross of you."
Carmen nodded softly, grabbing his back pack, shedding his apron. "I-I'll have my phone on me-"
"-Go!" Richie and Natalie yelled in unison.
"I got it, Cousin." Richie shook his head.
"Yeah, and you have other things to worry about." Natalie snapped. "More important things, like your marriage, and your kid."
Carmen's heart skipped at that. It sounded weird, unnatural. His kid. Mind racing back to images of you with his niece and nephew. How Chelle took to you so naturally when you first met her, cradling her in your arms while Natalie scampered off for a shower. Carmen's heart swelled at the thought, how he had watched you, how good you were at it.
He knew you'd be a good mom. Had no doubt about that. That wasn't the issue. No, the problem was him.
Carmen Berzatto, who's family was the epitome of chaos, and who's genes this baby would have. Would the baby have your eyes and his crippling anxiety? His curls and his coping skills? Your nose and smile, and his family's addiction gene?
You would be the perfect mom. You were already so perfect in every way to Carmen. Too kind and forgiving and funny and sweet to him, he couldn't understand why you loved him sometimes. You would be good no matter what.
You'd be better without him.
His mind screamed it over and over. He couldn't shake the thought last night, sitting on the steps of your home, chain smoking through half a pack while his mind raced, horrible voices mocking and sneering at him, telling him he wasn't good enough; that he wouldn't be good enough. That you would be better off alone.
Then he was walking. Walking as fast as he could away from your home, back to the restaurant, where he could distract himself. Where he could trick his mind to focus on anything else other than you.
It didn't work, of course. It never did.
His mind still raced, all the way back to your home- his home. The home he shared with you. The place you bought for the future; your future together. A future that now, looked like it would be a little fuller.
You gripped the porcelain of the toilet seat, stomach lurching again, spilling the contents of- you didn't even know what. How there was anything left, you weren't sure.
Your nose burned with tears, head drumming with a dull ache, throat burning with the acidity flare of bile. And worst of all, the only person you wanted was Carmen.
You were furious, hurt, just... confused with him, but your body still ached for him. For him to come in, rub your back and coo at you. Settle you and calm you, like he always did.
The front door closed softly, the thud of the latch echoing through the all too still house. Anchovy chirped and trilled, Carmen's soft, raspy greeting back to him making your body jolt.
You stayed still, waiting and quiet with each muffled footstep of Carmen's, his sneakers falling closer and closer until the door opened gently. Your gaze on his, watching him with wide, red rimmed eyes from the bathroom floor. His own reflecting down on you, hand still gripping the door knob.
"You... You're still sick?" Carmen asked, awkward and unsure. He didn't know what to say, where to even begin.
"Yeah." You sneered, hand slapping on the knob, flushing the toilet. "Guess that'll be happening for a while."
Carmen flinched at your tone. You were angry. No, you were hurt. The revelation made him feel like he needed to throw up next, the ache in his stomach rivaling the one in his chest.
You pushed up off the tub, Carmen's hands reaching to help you. You slapped them away with a menacing scoff. "Don't touch me." You snapped. "I've got it."
Carmen nodded, backing out slowly, giving you space to brush your teeth. He didn't miss the tremor in your hands when you held the toothbrush, refusing to meet his eyes in the mirror.
"I..." Carmen's voice shook, a squeak of a word that had wobbled when he spoke. "I, uh, I-I'm sorry."
Your eyes flashed to his furiously, lips pursing. "I know that's... fuck, that's not..." Carmen sighed heavily, a grounding breath to soothe his nerves, get the shake out of his voice. "I don't know what-what else to say other than... I'm sorry."
"You're sorry?" You sneered, turning to him, your tone unnervingly calm. "You're fucking sorry?"
"Yeah, I-"
"-You left me!" You roared, chest heaving with fury. Your fears and sadness had turned into rage, pure rage.
"I go outside to check on you, and you're gone! Who the fuck does that, Carmen? What the fuck is wrong with you?" You screamed.
"I-I don't know, I just..." Carmen's chest tightened, strangling his words. The pounding in his chest had returned, as had the queasiness in his stomach.
"You just? Just what, Carmen? Just don't want to be with me anymore?" Your voice cracked, tears brimming your waterline.
The silence was back. Uncomfortably loud and suffocating. Neither one of you moved, just stared at each other through heaving chests.
"I-I..." Carmen swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "How could you... You think I-I don't want to be with you?"
"Well, what else am I supposed to think, Carmen?" You scoffed, throwing your hands out in exasperation. "You left!"
Carmen winced at the harshness of your tone. "I didn't... I just needed to think-"
"-Think?" You scoffed. "Think about what exactly, Carmen? Huh? Whether you were going to stay-"
"-No! Fuck, no!" Carmen barked, mind racing and overwhelmed. Hands trembling, heart pounding, he stared at you. "About... About how it would be. About how I would be."
"How you would be?"
"Yeah, how I would be." Carmen snaps, a little too defensive even for his own liking. It was habit, even after years of trying to be better, it still crept out at times.
Carmen took a breath, turning to you. "I'm... I don't think I'm going to be a good dad."
Your own heart sunk, a dull ache in your chest, heavy with the weight of his words. The fall of his face, lips curling downward. "Carmen," You said softly. "Why-Why would you... We've talked about having kids before."
"Yeah, but not... I thought I had time." Carmen admitted, hands shaking when he crossed his arms over his chest to still them. "I-I thought I would have some time to-to get my shit together."
You paused, watching his face crumble. The deep breath he took to keep himself from crying- from breaking. "I don't- I don't wanna be a bad dad. I don't wanna fuck this kid up." Carmen whispered, eyes darting everywhere but your own. He couldn't look at you when he said it, sure when he saw the sorrow in your own eyes he would crumble at your feet.
"Carmen," You said softly, taking a step towards him. He took one back, distancing himself. He knew what you were going to do. Reach out and comfort him, make him feel better- he didn't deserve that.
"Carm, please," You begged lightly. "You... You know you're gonna be a good dad-"
"-No, no, I don't know that." Carmen scoffed, shaking his head. "I mean, my fuckin' dad was a piece of shit, so was his dad, so-so will I. And-And I don't wanna do that to this kid. I don't wanna do that to you."
"Stop." You snapped, lips pressed together, sniffling to keep your own tears at bay. "Just...Just stop. Ok? Stop. You're... Do you really think I would have married you if I thought that bad of you? Do you think I would have ever even entertained the thought of having a baby with you, starting a family, if I thought you'd be shitty?"
Carmen's own eyes shone with unshed tears. You blinked, wiping the hot tears that ran down your cheeks away. "I'm scared, too. I-I called Alicia over you because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how you would react." You admitted.
Carmen nodded, you could see the hurt in his eyes. "So you knew I would react like this? You didn't tell me because you knew I'd be a bad-"
"-No, I didn't tell you because I know you don't like surprises." You snapped. "I know you don't like to be fuckin' blindsided and-and shocked. I don't either. I knew it would shock you. I knew it wasn't apart of our plan right now." You held his gaze, eyes hard when you met his.
"But I never thought you'd be a bad dad." Your tone was firm. It made Carmen's heart swell. "I still don't think you'd be a bad dad, for the record. I think you're an asshole, and I'm furious with you." You said pointedly.
Carmen nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I... I don't blame you f'that." He muttered, looking down at his hands, wedding band shining almost mockingly back up at him. "Sugar's pissed at me. Richie, too." He paused, eyes lifting to yours. "I'm mad at me too."
"Yeah? Me too." You sigh, looking at him. "You can't just leave-"
"-I know." Carmen nodded. "I-I know. I don't... I'm sorry." Carmen looked at you, shoulders falling slightly. "I'm so sorry."
You nodded gently, wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. "This is not how I thought this would go, honestly." You admitted with a small, wet laugh.
"Which part?" Carmen hummed, hesitantly reaching out to wipe your tear stained cheek with the pad of his thumb.
"All of it." You sighed. "But telling you. I-I always thought I'd do one of those cute, little Pinteresty things and surprise you."
"Yeah? 'm sorry." Carmen muttered, his heart fluttering with guilt again. "Maybe next time?"
You scoffed, rolling your eyes at him. Damn him, making you smile when you were supposed to be mad at him- you were still mad at him. But you were tired even more. Exhausted emotionally, physically- you just wanted to crawl into bed.
Carmen pulled you closer to him, his hand running down your spine. "Maybe you can do that cutesy shit to tell everyone else." He suggested. "I mean... Fuck, well, I-I told Richie and-and Sugar, but... Tina? Or all them?"
You bit back a smile, the curl of your lips betraying you. "Yeah." You hum, your body betraying you as you sunk into Carmen's chest.
"Here," Carmen muttered, pulling you close to him. "I'll get you in bed, and I'll go on the couch-"
"-No," You sighed, shuffled steps down the hall. "I don't... Just sleep in the bed with me."
Carmen hesitated. "No, I-I can stay on the couch. I know you don't-"
"-I can't sleep without you, Carm." You pleaded. "I didn't sleep at all last night, and-and... I just want to sleep."
Carmen nodded, following you into the shared bedroom. Stripping out of his jeans, trading them for sweatpants, before climbing in the bed with you. You stayed on your side, Carmen on his own. There was still tension, still lingering feelings of that familiar eeriness, but there was also comfortability.
Carmen would make it up to you. He'd be at every appointment, paint the nursery- be everything you knew he would be. Later. In the coming weeks as you two welcomed, embraced the baby coming. You'd get to tell everyone in your cutesy way like you'd dreamed. Tina's reaction would make you cry, and the baby shower would make you sob. You'd mull over baby names for hours with Carmen, going back and forth, testing each name tentatively until you found the perfect one.
For now, you were happy just to know Carmen was here with you. You were happy just to sleep. There was still so much ahead of you- of both of you.
if you lie down, lie next to me |carmen berzatto x reader|
prompt: you and carmen are newly weds, moving into your forever home.
inspired by @carmybears fic assembly required which has been SO heavy on my mind lately mixed with lana del rey's "if you lie down, lie next to me" <3
contains: fluff. just fluff newly weds, alludes at smut, some language, but tooth rotting sweetness and fluff.
“Carmen, I’m not even kidding. Where the fuck did all of this stuff come from?” You groan, collapsing another cardboard box with a huff, shoving it into the pile with the others by the door. “Our apartment was, like, one-fifth the size of this one. The living room was like our whole apartment. How do we have this much shit?”
Carmen snorted lightly, grinning and unpacking the various pots and pans. New pots and pans- wedding gifts.Your wedding came with an influx of appliances and cookware, gadgets for the kitchen that Carmen bubbled with excitement about. And a margarita maker- for you, of course- courtesy of Natalie Berzatto herself. The old apartment, you barely had space for the dishes and pots you had, let alone new ones.
So Carmen kept them tucked away, until he got the new place for you. He didn’t have a clue at the time he’d be buying you the Brownstone you were in now, nestled in the heart of Old Town. A good neighborhood, close-ish to the restaurant, zoned in a good school district- a forever home, for the two of you.
“I mean, most of it was wedding gifts.” Carmen shrugged. “The rest are your shoes.” He teased, a playful glint in his eye when he looked over at you.
You rolled your eyes. “Ha-ha,” You said sarcastically, bumping him with your shoulder. “Seriously, though, I’m never doing this again. We’re here for life, Berzatto.”
“That’s the plan, Berzatto.” Carmen nudged you back lightly, leaning to press a sweet kiss to your blushing cheeks, a loving squeeze to your ass when he passed you that left you squealing.
“The good news is,” Carmen paused, sliding the pot onto the hanging rack over the island, stepping back to admire it. “The kitchen is unpacked.”
“The most important room.” You hummed playfully. Carmen nodded in agreement, arms slipping around your waist, pulling you into his chest.
“Think we should celebrate?” Carmen grinned. “Christen it?”
“We already christened it.” You rolled your eyes at him. “Twice- no, three times, already.”
“Yeah but now it’s done.” Carmen countered. “No more boxes in the way.”
“I think you can only christen something once.” You give him a pointed look, ignoring the way his crotch is rubbing against your hip. You were still sore from the celebratory round of “putting the coffee table together” from earlier.
“And I’m starving. Should we order in again?” You hum, looking at the fridge. Nothing but a bottle of champagne and leftover takeout Chinese food. Your stomach turned at the thought.
Carmen caught your grimace, a hand running soothingly down your back. “If you want. I can run to the store, too. Grab some things for dinner. Break in the kitchen now that it’s done.”
“I think I like that idea better.” You nod, leaning against his chest, feeling his chain through his t-shirt- the same chain you had tucked between your teeth earlier. Your knees wobbled at the thought. “What are you making?”
“What’re you in the mood for?” Carmen tilted his head back to look at you. “Can make you whatever, baby, just lemme know.”
“I am down for anything that doesn’t come out of a box.” You giggle, nose snarling at the Chinese food. “Surprise me, Chef.” You grinned smugly, content at how Carmen’s cheeks flushed with heat.
“You wanna come with me?” Carmen asked, reaching over to swipe his keys off the kitchen counter.
You rolled your lips in thought. “I need to shower.” You blink at him sweetly. “I feel all sweaty and gross.”
“Alright. Need anythin’ else, baby?” Carmen is looking for his phone, patting his pockets and turning in a semi-circle to look around him.
You roll your eyes, plucking the phone off the coffee table in the living room, passing it to him. He was always losing his phone. You’d begged him to get an Apple watch but he swore it got in the way of his cooking, so you took to texting Nat or Richie- who always had their phones- when you needed him.
“Something to drink? Unless you want champagne because I’m pretty sure that’s all that’s in there.” You giggle, looking at the fridge.
Carmen smiled, pulling his hat over his tousled locks. “I got it.” He muttered, leaning to press a sweet, soft kiss to your lips, hands splaying over your hips, pulling you closer and closer into him.
He always managed to make you swoon like that, cheeks rushing with heat, dizzy and light with love. You hoped you’d always feel like this. Even when you were old and wrinkly and wobbly, you hoped Carmen would still kiss you like that- in this very spot, in this very house.
“Oh, Cass Elliot?” You grinned, spinning with the vinyl in your hands, brows raised playfully at Carmen. “He has taste.”
Carmen snorted lightly in laughter, dishrag slung over his shoulder, spooning the sauce over the chicken in the pan. The kitchen was warm, smelling heavily of spices and a dash of citrus. You’d set up the vinyl in the corner by the nook, an old school record player passed down from Carmen’s grandmother. His Nonna Berzatto, who he adored. He had told you about how he’d always go over and help her make Sunday sauce. She had that same vinyl in her kitchen, next to a picture of her parents, and a prayer candle of Mary. It was all he managed to get, keep after she passed and his parents sold everything else that they could. He’d even snagged a few records, though the one you held looked new.
“Yeah. Thought you liked her stuff?” Carmen muttered, eyes cutting to yours gently.
“I do.” You grinned, slipping the record out of the protective paper. “How’d you know that?” You lifted the arm of the record player, slipping out the old disk and sliding in the new one, careful of the bouquet you’d just placed by it. Carmen had snagged one at the grocery earlier, surprising you with the beautiful bloom when you’d gotten out of the shower.
“Because, you told me.” Carmen said simply, checking the asparagus inside the stove. Your heart fluttered. “When we were comin’ back from that trip… The, uh, the one we took to Detroit, remember? You played it on the way back.”
Your chest soared, filling with that warmth that made your body tingle from head to toe. “You remembered that? That was… two years ago?”
“Of course I remembered that.” Carmen scoffed lightly, shaking his head at you like he couldn’t believe you’d say something so ridiculous. “You said that, uh, that one song was like the love song to you. So I-I started listening to it because… ya know, it reminded me of you and stuff.” Carmen muttered, cheeks heating at the omission.
You beamed, lifting the long arm of the record player, letting it softly come to life with a scratch of static before the slow melody filled the room. “You’re sweet.” You hum, arms wrapping around his torso, swaying gently to the familiar medley. “Never would’ve guessed you woulda been this sweet.”
“Yeah? I’m given’ off asshole vibes?” Carmen laughed, hips turning slightly to face you.
“Not at all.” You shook your head. “Gave off recluse vibes.”
“Recluse?” Carmen turned to you.
“Yeah, like… quiet, shy boy vibes.” You giggle. “You barely spoke to me when I started… and you hired me!”
“I thought you were pretty.” Carmen shrugged boyishly. “And I thought if I talked to you, I’d throw up or embarrass myself. Also thought there was no way you’d be single. Too pretty and funny and… I dunno, thought you’d never go out with me.”
“Little did you know.” You grinned wickedly. “I had been stalking you in secret.” Carmen laughed at you. “I thought you were pretty, too.”
Carmen blushed at your omission, lips twitching in a smile. You swayed lightly, cheek pressed to his chest, letting the soft melody lull you. You remembered the car ride back from Detroit. Carmen was going to some chef expo there, trying to network and get Sydney the star she deserved. You’d agreed to go along. Things were far enough along it was stable, but still new and exciting. Your first real trip as a couple. You’d stayed in a hotel, gone to Carmen’s colleague’s fancy restaurant, went sightseeing and shopping hand-in-hand. You couldn’t help feeling so romantic, shuffling songs from the playlist you listened to when you were getting ready for a date. Old school tracks, filled with symphonies and ballads of love.
“I think this is almost done. D’you want to grab the glasses and I’ll-”
“-Let it sit for a minute.” You sigh contently, turning down the heat on the stove top.
“What’re you doin’?” Carmen huffs in laughter, turning while you pull at him, your hand lacing through his own, tugging him to the open space on the other side of the kitchen island.
You just smile at him, pulling him close to you. Your hand in his, the other wrapped around and settled on his spine. His free hand followed, sliding down your back. You leaned towards him, chin tilted towards his face, his curls tickling your forehead. You swayed slowly, nothing elaborate or coordinated, just a soft shuffle type sway, Carmen pulled close to you.
“‘M not good at this.” Carmen’s breath hitched, hand squeezing yours, his thumb gliding over your wedding rings.
“Yeah, you are.” You hum, nose brushing his. “Best dancer I’ve ever seen.” You mutter, your lips slotting over his sweetly. Carmen’s hand left yours, cupping your jaw and pulling you closer, his lips soft against your own. Your head found his shoulder, dipping into his collarbone, arms wrapped around his torso while he rocked you gently. The sound of Cass Elliot’s voice humming out of the record player Baby, I’m Yours fading into Words of Love. The fan from the stove still buzzing with life, wafting out the steam from the pans, rhythmically merging with the sounds from the street. A relatively quiet neighborhood, filled with quiet cars and the occasional children’s screech from their strollers that pushed by. It was all so calming, the sound of your new home. Sounds you hoped would become familiar overtime and still shared with Carmen.
caramen apples |dad!carmen berzatto x mom!reader|
the first entry in thebearer's ber months :)
“Teddy- hey, two feet down. Stop rocking on the chair, Dorothea, I am not telling you again”
“Daddy! I’m just kidding.”
“Yeah? Stop before you hurt yourself or your sister, please.”
“I won’t hurt, Daddy, I do it all the time.”
“Daddy, can we tastes it?”
“No, Wills, not yet. It’s still hot, baby. And no you don’t, Teddy. Stand still or I’m putting you on the ground.”
“When will it be ready-”
“-Yes, I do! Mommy lets me all the time, Daddy!”
You bite back a laugh, tucked behind the wall of the kitchen. A four year old, a seven year old, and caramel apples? It sounded exactly what you expected- chaotic.
“Mommy does not.” You chimed in before Carmen, a brow raise that was entirely motherly. It had Carmen smirking, stirring the pan on the stove, while Teddy turned with a gasp.
“You sneaked!” Teddy pointed at you, a devious little smile that told you she’d been caught. You knew it entirely too well.
“Mommy! Look! We make apples!” Willow pointed excitedly at the prepped apples on skewers in front of her.
“Are you?” You grin back, voice rising in exaggerated excitement. You wrapped your arm around her and Teddy’s backs, steadying them on the chairs Carmen had pulled up for them to help “cook”.
“It looks so yummy.” You hum, eyes catching Carmen’s. “Can I have one?”
“I guess.” Teddy sighed dramatically. She’d been hanging out with Richie too much.
Carmen snorted lightly, shaking his head. “Alright, I’m gonna help you dip the apples, ok? Don’t touch the caramel. It’s gonna be really hot, alright? Got me?”
“Got it.” Teddy and Willow hummed in unison, Teddy peeking over the counter towards the hot pan.
“I wanna go first.” Teddy said firmly, looking at Carmen.
“Wills, you good with that?” Carmen asked, looking at his youngest.
“Teddy can go firwst.” Willow lisped, still struggling with her r’s. Your heart melted, pulling her closer to yourself lightly, pressing a kiss to the crown of her hair.
Carmen smiled, picking up the first apple, helping Teddy hold it while he adjusted the pan. “Ok, now turn it slowly- yeah, just like that, Teddy. Good job.” Carmen beamed, cringing a little at the lopsidedness of the dip.
“Look!” Teddy grinned, pulling it back, a glob of caramel falling on the counter with her. “I did it!”
“You did!” You beamed, a wide smile that had her laughing proudly. “Put it on the sheet, ok?”
“Look, Willow, I dipped it.” Teddy ignored you, turning to her sister. She lifted the apple high, and for a second, you thought she might put it in her sister’s hair. Instead, Teddy, set it proudly on the counter- not on the paper, making Carmen hiss with a cringe when she did it.
Your eyes cut to his, lifting a brow. “You’re cleaning this up?”
“Of course, honey.” Carmen muttered. “You might need to clean them, though.” He nodded towards Teddy, grabbing the glob of caramel that fell and eating it off her fingers, before smacking them together and laughing with Willow at how the caramel strung like webs between them.
“Teddy, hey, are you supposed to do that?” You glared at her sternly.
“Yes.” Teddy grinned, deviously. That little shit, you thought, lips twisting together to hide your smile. She was so funny sometimes, it was hard not to laugh at her. “Jus’ eating it.” She shrugged, giggling with her sister.
“Hey, don’t touch your hair, alright?” Carmen nudged Teddy’s hands down lightly. “Go put your toppings on. Willow c’mere, it’s your turn.”
“What do you want on yours, Teddy Bear?” You asked, sliding Teddy over and pulling out the jars of toppings Carmen had prepared- M&Ms, nuts, granola.
“I want M&Ms.” Teddy chirped, reaching her hand into the little cup, squealing with laughter when they stuck to her already sticky fingers. “Willow, look!”
Willow turned, nearly dropping the apple into the hot pot of caramel, Carmen’s eyes widening when he caught it. “Hey, be careful.” Carmen said, his voice hard but calmer.
“Sowwy.” Willow’s eyes rounded softly, melting him entirely when they met his own.
“I think that’s enough M&Ms.” You laughed, stopping Teddy as she dunked the apple and her hands into the candy. “Save some for Willow, and me.”
“I want nuts.” Willow hummed, delicately scooping and sprinkling them on to her apple, so careful and precise- just like Carmen. You told him she was watching him, sometimes he didn’t believe you, until he’d see it for himself.
You grabbed a cloth, wiping Teddy’s hands as best as you could, wiping her face down gently. Carmen dipped both of yours, placing it in front of you. “You want nuts too?” Carmen asked.
You blushed. Of course he remembered. From years ago, before the babies, before the marriage, when Carmen still lived in his shitty little apartment with jackets inside the stove and barely any room to move. Carmen had taken you to an orchard, picked apples and pumpkins because it made you happy and that made him happy. He’d made candy apples, caramel apples, even cider donuts in that tiny apartment. You sat on the counter, dipping yours in chopped peanuts, sharing sticky kisses between bites.
“Yeah.” You hummed, hand snaking around his waist, giving his hip a loving squeeze. “M&Ms too.”
nothing in the world belongs to me |carmen berzatto x reader|
prompt: still new in your relationship, you show up to the bear for dinner unexpectedly, surprising carmen and the others.
based off this prompt from the other day :)
contains: fluff lol. really, it's just fluff. established-ish relationship (the others don't know). carmen being a little nervous and possessive but mainly cute <3 language.
“Alright, listen up,” Richie stood next to Sydney, flicking through the piles of tickets that were ringing through by the second. It was normal now, an expected task in their routine. “We need to walk the focaccia to table seven, please.”
“Yes, Chef!” A chorus of nearly robotic voices rose from the sizzling hiss of the lamb searing in Carmen’s pan, lifting the spatula to tip the meat over, before giving it back to the chef on the line.
“And for table nine, we’ve got a shellfish allergy, alright? So let’s triple check the cross contamination on that. T, can you handle that one?” Richie moved from his leather bound book of notes back to the ticket.
“Yes, Chef!” Tina chimed, pulling a freshly washed pan, filling it with the veal stock.
“Table nine, is that- that’s the senator?” Carmen turned to Richie, tasting the roux bubbling on Victoria’s station, giving her a curt nod of approval.
“No, that’s table eleven.” Richie hummed, looking back at his notebook. “Nine, is… a birthday. Booked online.” Carmen had already begun to drone him out, mind racing with a million other things as Richie listed the guests name. Until he got to one.
The name Carmen was sure he was hallucinating. The name no one knew- How would they know? How could they possibly know your name?
You and Carmen had been seeing each other for a little while. A few weeks that were slowly turning into months. A casual thing that was slowly turning more serious. Dates and meetups are becoming more frequent. You’d even invited him over to your place a few times, he’d spent the night last week.
Still, Carmen hadn’t managed to tell anyone. Selfishly, he liked that you were all his for now. Privacy was not guaranteed in the Berzatto house, in Carmen’s life still. He knew they meant well, they always did- he knew it wasn’t purposeful, the intrusion that almost always led to a demise. Carmen wasn’t ready for it, not yet, he still wanted you all to himself.
“Carmen?” Sydney’s voice pulled him out of his panicked trance. “Chef, are you- are you good?” Her voice lilted with that familiar suspicious quip, the one always accompanied with her lifted brows.
“What?” Carmen blinked, hands buzzing, heart thumping. He could see the window, Richie’s frame blocking most of it. “Sorry, yeah- yeah, I’m good, Chef.”
Sydney watched him carefully, a slow nod before she continued calling out orders. Carmen could feel Richie’s eyes on him, narrowed with curiosity. Carmen tried to be nonchalant, crossing the kitchen back towards Tina, his eyes cutting carefully, looking out the window.
There you were.
Sitting pretty at the middle table, surrounded by friends, some Carmen recognized from your Instagram. He’d actually logged in to the app, looked you up after the first date, consumed every photo of yours in the dark of his room. Cheeks burning with excited heat, stomach fluttering in a way he hadn’t felt since junior high.
“Alright, walk five salads to nine.” Sydney called out. “Where’s our runners? God, Richie, can you run-”
“-I got it.” Carmen called, the urgency in his tone making Tina jump behind him. Carmen took the tray before Gary could, his hands shaking as he lifted it.
“Cousin, I can get it.” Richie frowned.
“No, I-I got it.” Carmen nodded, swallowing down his fluttering nerves. His eyes cut to your table through the window, heart skipping when he saw you. “I got it. I’ll be- I’ll just be a second.”
“I don’t- I can’t even handle that one right now.” Sydney sighed in exasperation. “Alright, Chefs. Let’s get back on track.” She announced, shaking her head. Richie frowned, pulling out his phone.
Sugar’s cell buzzed against the hostess stand, excusing herself to check it.
From: Richie
‘Look at table nine.’
Sugar huffed.
To: Richie
‘Why? Is there something wrong?’
She stepped back, casually turning to scan the room, eyes landing on the table. A small group of girls, younger, and amongst them- Carmen?
To: Richie
‘Is something wrong with the food? Do I need to comp it?’
From: Richie
‘No. Cousin wanted to go out there.’
Sugar frowned, angling her body behind the large plant near the front as casually as she could. She watched through the leaves as Carmen passed out the salads, each girl grinning widely, but their eyes always cut to one on the end.
Carmen saved your salad for last, hoping the lowlights of the restaurant would hide his boyish blush, setting the bowl in front of you carefully. “Hey,”
“Hi,” You smiled sheepishly, looking to meet his gaze. “Everything looks so good.”
“Yeah? Thanks.” Carmen nodded. “I-I didn’t know you were comin’ tonight.”
“I’m sorry.” You cringed softly, embarrassed heat flooding through your veins. You knew better, knew you shouldn’t have done this- showed up at his restaurant unannounced.
“I, uh, it’s my friend’s birthday.” You nodded towards Alicia at the end of the table. “And I was telling them about that pasta you made me, and they really wanted to come try it.” Your nerves bubbled, rambling in nervous peals that seemed to pour out before you could stop them.
“Yeah, no, that’s really nice. Thank you.” Carmen nodded, giving a half smile to your friends, hoping they didn’t see the way he wiped his clammy hands on his apron. “Why didn’t- Why didn’t you just call me? Tell me you were comin’ in.”
“I didn’t want to bother you.” You muttered softly. “I honestly didn’t think you’d even see us here, I swear. I didn’t mean to bother you or anything-”
“-You’re not bothering me.” Carmen’s voice dropped to a coo, accompanied with a soft smile that had your head spinning. “Never a bother, but, uh, next time? Bother me, ok? Wanna make sure you get the best seat in the house.”
Your cheeks flushed with heat, your friends excited giggles only intensifying the rushing heat blanketing over your body. Carmen’s own cheeks heated, tongue rolling on the inside of his cheek to hide his grin.
“Alright?” Carmen added, and in a complete act of shocking boldness, his hand squeezed your shoulder affectionately. A small gesture on the outside, but for Carmen, it was huge.
“Alright.” You grinned, leaning into his touch, your hands sliding over his.
“How’s everything so far?” Carmen turned to the table, nodding at the excited gushes of compliments, not missing the way your friends cut their eyes to you with animated glee.
“Just let me know if you need anything, ok?” Carmen turned to you.
“I will.” You nodded, starry eyed with love sick affection.
“Good. I’ll see you before you leave, alright?” Carmen muttered, ducking down towards you. His lips brushed over your cheek, your perfume clouding his senses. “You’re not botherin’ me. ‘M glad you’re here.”
Your cheek pressed to his, a gentle, affectionate rub before Carmen parted. Both of your features painted with shy delight.
Carmen could feel everyone’s eyes, through flickering gazes and lifted brows. Sydney’s gaze lingering over him skeptically, still counting tickets. Fak’s wide grin from the corner, loading trays to take out.
“Hey, uh, Marcus.” Carmen ignored Richie’s raised brows, a teasing, questioning remark on the tip of his tongue.
“Yes, Chef?” Marcus muttered, looking up from the cannolis he was garnishing.
“Table nine has a birthday. I was thinkin’ maybe the chocolate ganache, punch it with the little circle to make it look like a cake. Add a candle?” Carmen muttered, hand rubbing across his face.
“Yeah, Chef, I can do that.” Marcus nodded.
“Thank you.” Carmen nodded. “And Chef? Let me know when it’s ready before you walk it.”
Marcus frowned. “No, it’s not- I just wanna walk it, ok?” Carmen shook his head.
“Alright.” Marcus nodded slowly. “Heard, Chef.”
Richie smirked, leaning against the stainless steel table. “So,” Richie hummed. “There a complaint or somethin’? Need me to go talk to ‘em-”
“-No,” Carmen snapped, the possessiveness in his tone startling the both of them. “Sorry, it’s- No, I-I don’t need you to do that, Chef. Everything’s good.”
Richie nodded slowly, passing the dishes to Gary with a nod. “You gonna tell me what that was about?”
“No, Chef.” Carmen clipped, an edge to his tone that was teetering on annoyed. “But, uh, there’s not gonna be a check on table nine.”
“What?” Richie frowned. “Did you mess somethin’ up? Seriously, Cousin, if something's wrong it’s my job to know-”
“-No, it’s not-.” Carmen huffed, eyes pinching closed, running a hand over his face in frustration. “Look, that’s… The girl on the end? I-I’ve been kinda seein’ her, ya know?” He muttered.
Richie gawked, blinking in disbelief. “No shit.” He grinned. “No shit? You-You’re serious?” He turned to look out the window.
“Don’t fuckin’ look.” Carmen hissed. “Look, it-it’s not a big deal, alright? Just don’t-don’t say anything o-or do anything.”
Richie swallowed back a teasing remark, a reactive reaction from years of being with Mikey. How the two of them used to tease Carmen endlessly, until they were fighting on the front lawn, Mikey howling with laughter while Carmen was red faced with mortified anger.
This time, Richie held back. He wasn’t sure why, call it divine intervention, a gut feeling maybe, but it felt different this time.
“Alright.” Richie nodded slowly. “No ticket for nine. Heard.”
Carmen’s foot tapped anxiously. “I mean, right? Th-That’s what I should do right?” Carmen looked over his shoulder out the window. “That would be shitty to give her a check? Be a complete jagoff move to charge her?”
“Yeah,” Richie scoffed lightly. “Jagoff of the fuckin’ year. Makin’ your girl pay to come to your place.”
Carmen’s heart swelled at the term- your girl. His girl. You were his girl.
“Walk four Pappardelle to nine. Walk one Pappardelle vegetarian style to nine.” Sydney called.
Carmen dipped the spoon in the glaze, garnishing the plate before sliding it towards Sydney. “So, you gonna take these out?” He muttered.
“No,” Carmen huffed. “Gonna wait until the cake.”
“Yeah, good idea, Cousin.” Richie nodded with a proud smile. “That when you’re gonna tell them no check tonight?”
“No,” Carmen shook his head. “I don’t- It would feel weird comin’ from me.” He looked up at Richie. “I was gonna let you do it.”
“Yeah, I can handle that.” Richie smirked. “And I won’t say anything, Cousin.” He stopped Carmen before he could say it. “I got you, Cousin. I won’t fuck it up, alright?”
Carmen nodded slowly, a strangled thank you on the tip of his tongue. The door swung open behind Richie, and for a second, Carmen caught a glimpse of you. Smiling and laughing, leaned in over the table, no doubt giggling with your friends about him. Carmen’s heart squeezed, but this time, without fear. No, there was no dooming fear that you were mocking him, making fun of him. This time, he felt the content rush of adrenaline filled love. A change in his routine, yes. Unexpected, sure, but he was glad for it. Glad that you were there- here, with him.
Pity Party.
Synopsis - Carmy just wants to see you treated the way he thinks you deserve. He decides to take matters into his own hands.
Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Roommate Reader
Word Count - 3k
Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol mention. carmys filthy mouth.
Age Rating - 18+
Author's Note - hello hello hello!! i am back!! i had a wonderful vacation soaking up the sun, and i am feeling refreshed and ready to go. i have had so many ideas over the past few weeks, so i'm excited to get some of them written asap!! this was a fic that came to me randomly, as i was thinking about roommate!carmen and how much of a menace he'd be if you ever talked about other guys. this was written as a part of my carmen roommates collection. it doesn't follow on from Finders, Keepers or Sweet Dreams, but it does exist in the same universe - so you can decide if this takes place before or after!! as always, feel free to send me any ideas or thoughts or burning desires you have. so much love <3
as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3
Series Masterlist. Masterlist. Inbox.
"You're back early."
Carmy had swung the door open, expecting to come home to an empty apartment. Instead, he's met with the sight of you, sitting on the couch, undoing the straps of your shoes.
"Fuckin' disaster," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.
He breathes out a chuckle at the stormy look on your face. Carmy thinks you're cutest when you're angry. He aches to smooth the crease between your brows with his thumb.
"That bad?" he asks, taking a seat next you and kicking off his sneakers.
"You wouldn't even believe."
He rises and makes his way to the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and placing it on the stove top. Grabbing two mugs, he casts a glance over his shoulder at you, frowning at your body language. You look defeated.
Carmy steeps two cups of tea, placing one of them carefully into your waiting hands. He resumes his seat on the sofa, pressing his thigh against yours and turning to face you.
"You wanna talk about it?"
You think for a moment before replying.
"You're gonna laugh at me."
His face instantly crumples, confusion written all over it.
"I'll never laugh at you. I'll laugh with you, sure. But never at you."
He nudges your shoulder with his, urging you to go on.
"Okay, fine. The actual date was pretty good. He took me to that Italian place downtown-"
"Dolce Vita? Did you get the truffle pasta I told you about?" Carmy interrupts you before you can continue.
"Yes, oh my God. It was incredible. Do you think you can recreate it sometime?"
"Fuck yeah. They're pretty secretive with their recipes, but I think I can figure it out. You can help me if you want - I'm gonna need a sous chef."
He pulls a reluctant laugh from you, the sound echoing off the ceramic of your mugs. You both know that being the sous chef involves you sitting on the counter drinking wine while Carmy does all the work.
"Of course. I'll always be your sous chef."
"I'll hold you to that."
You smile at him gently, a little taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.
"Anyway. The dinner went great. He seemed super interested in me, asked me questions, told me about his job, his hobbies, his dog. He was hot, and good to talk to. I thought I'd hit the jackpot."
"And then?"
"And then we went back to his apartment. And it all went to shit."
He chuckles, blue eyes glinting in the moonlight.
"Tell me more."
"You really want to hear about all of this?"
It's not like you and Carmy aren't close. You absolutely are. It's just that there's always been this unspoken connection between the two of you. A bubbling, fiery attraction that you both shut down repeatedly, screwing the lid on tight whenever it rears its head. So, you tend to avoid talking to Carmy about dating. You're scared you'll accidentally blurt out the truth - you compare every single date to him.
"Of course I do."
His answer is so genuine it makes you ache. You continue, hesitantly.
"Well... things got a little... heavy. He wasn't a bad kisser, I guess... he just wasn't... a good one? He kept biting my lip super hard and it kinda hurt. Then he pulled my clothes off like a high schooler, and he's on top of me, and I'm waiting for him to sort of... do... anything? And then he's finished. Like, completely done. And then he has the nerve to ask me if I finished."
Carmy's mouth has fallen open, shock etched across his face. After a long, heavy pause, he speaks.
"What the fuck?"
You look at him for moment, before bursting into contagious laughter. He joins you, both of you with your heads thrown back, giggles reverberating around the lowlit room.
"I mean, seriously," he pants, still laughing. "What the fuck?"
"I didn't even answer him. I just put my clothes on, grabbed my bag and left without saying a word."
Every time you try to stifle your laughter, a giggle escapes. The situation wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's hilarious.
All of a sudden, you both go silent. You're deep in thought, reflecting on the seemingly never ending stream of bad dates that you've endured. Carmy is watching you intently, ocean blue eyes glued to your face.
"Fuck," you breathe. "This is kinda pathetic."
Carmy inhales deeply, and turns his body so it's facing yours on the couch.
"The way I see it," he begins, "you have two options."
You quirk a brow in confusion and stay quiet, waiting for him to explain.
"You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself, or, you can let me fuck you the way you deserve."
Your mouth falls open in shock at the exact same moment your brain seems to shut down. You can't think. You can't process his words. All you can focus on is the way he's staring at you. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. A shiver runs down your spine, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.
"Wh-... what?" you choke out.
"You heard me, honey. You can wallow in your little pity party, or you can let me show you what it's like to be with someone who can actually make you come. Your choice."
His voice has dropped an octave lower than usual, the tone warm and honeyed. He's still staring at you, blue gaze unrelenting.
"Is this gonna fuck everything up between us?" you whisper hesitantly.
Carmy reaches out and places a gentle hand on your cheek, thumb stroking careful circles into your skin.
"I don't think anything can fuck up what we have," he murmurs. "You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."
His confession seems to sober you up, the honesty in his words snapping you back to your senses.
"Okay."
He almost does a double take at the sureness in your voice.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Put your money where your mouth is, Carmen."
"There she is," he chuckles. "You scared me when you went quiet for a second there."
"Well, if what you say is true, you're not gonna be able to shut me up for the night."
He laughs darkly, and slides closer to you slightly.
"Oh, honey. You're gonna wish you hadn't said that."
He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, tracing the journey of your neck with his fingertips. He rests his hand lightly at the base of your throat, the heavy weight of it making you pant.
"If there's any point where you don't like something, or you want me to slow down, just say so. Okay?"
You nod your head, entranced by the sudden dominance he's displaying. You've never seen this side of him before. You can't believe he's been hiding it this whole time.
"Words, pretty. Need to hear you say it."
"Yes. I understand. I'll tell you, I promise."
He doesn't say anything in reply, just smirks. He lets you sit in the silence for a moment too long, the anticipation slowly killing you.
"Please, Carmen," you breathe. "Please."
"Fuck," he groans, shuffling closer to you. "You sound so pretty when you beg."
Carmy leans in and kisses your cheek gently, testing the waters. He presses a kiss to your other cheek, and pulls back to watch for your reaction. When he's happy, he tilts forward and leaves a careful kiss on your chin, then your forehead, then both of your closed eyes, before kissing you on the side of your mouth. His closeness makes you whine, desperate for him to give you what you want.
Finally, he connects his lips to yours, starting off slow and tender. When you tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and try to pull him even closer, his resolve snaps. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You clamber over him and climb into his lap, straddling his hips and pressing yourself into his body.
Carmy can't decide where to put his hands. He's grabbing at your waist, running his fingers up your back, pulling you into him by your ass. You're both groaning into each others mouths, enraptured by the other person and the all consuming way they kiss.
"Can I take this off?" he asks lowly, pulling at the hem of your dress.
Instead of answering, you pull it over your head, throwing it onto the floor in front of you.
"Fuck," he murmurs. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
His hands are roaming all of your exposed skin, as if he can't get enough. He's terrified he won't ever get to see you like this again, so he's not going to waste a second.
You grind your hips down into his, eliciting a groan from the both of you. His hands tighten their grip on your waist, as he leans up to press open mouthed kisses to your jaw. Your fingers fly to the hem of his t shirt, pulling it off swiftly. You manage to shove his jeans down and off, before attempting to pull off his underwear. Carmy stops you in your tracks.
"Nuh uh," he tuts. "This is about you. Not me."
He pulls you off his lap gently and shuffles so his back is resting against the couch cushions. He spreads his legs wide, and gestures for you to sit between them. When you don't move, he looks at you carefully.
"Give me a color, pretty girl."
You take a deep breath, and smile at him softly.
"Green, Carmen. Promise."
You manoeuvre sideways, so you can place yourself with your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around you for a moment and holds you tightly, as if he's scared you'll disappear any second. You relax into his embrace, all the tension leaving your body. You have nothing to worry about. It's just you and Carmen, in the place you call home.
You drop your head back into Carmy's shoulder, and allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of his hands on your skin. He's begun tracing patterns down your arms, your sides, your stomach, until he reaches your underwear. He plays with the band, dipping his finger underneath in a feather light touch. Goose bumps rise across your body and you shiver, practically vibrating with need.
"Carmen," you whisper. "Don't tease."
"But that's half the fun," he murmurs into your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
You can picture it perfectly, too. The way his eyes crinkle, the way his mouth curves, the way he bites his lip to stifle it. The image in your mind makes you melt into him further. You want to be as close to him as you physically can be. You'd completely disappear into him if you could.
He brings you back to reality by cupping you over your underwear, groaning when he feels the saturated material.
"Oh, pretty girl. Is this all for me? Fuck."
Suddenly, his game of teasing has lost all its fun. Carmy twists his fingers into your underwear and pulls them off in one swift movement, throwing them in the general direction of your dress on the floor. He places a hand on each of your thighs and spreads them apart, hooking them over his legs.
Carmy starts off slow, careful. He caresses over your skin, gentle and almost apprehensive. When he gets to your core, he swipes a finger through, testing the waters. When you buck your hips into his hand, he knows you're both on the same page.
"Just relax, okay? Gonna make you feel good."
His deep, smooth, whiskey like voice is doing nothing to help the heat bubbling in your stomach. You only whine in response, wiggling your hips to urge him to keep going.
Carmy throws one arm around your stomach, keeping you plastered to his body. You can feel him hot and hard against your back, and you so desperately want to feel him that your mouth is watering. You grind back into him, and he reads your mind.
"Not yet," he whispers. "This is about you, remember? Need to show you what you've been missing."
With that, he circles your clit with two fingers, slowly but surely. He revels in the noises you elicit. They're making him dizzy, disorientated. He never thought he'd be the one to pull a sound like that from you. He's quite convinced he's dreaming.
"Let me hear you. Don't hold back on me, okay?"
You nod your head frantically, willing to give him whatever he asks if you get what you want.
Carmy slips a finger into you slowly, moaning under his breath at your warmth. When he thinks you're ready, he adds a second finger, and sets a steady rhythm, trying to figure out what you like.
After he's set his pace, he starts to curl his fingers on the up stroke, grinning to himself when he finds the spot.
"Yeah? Right there? That's it, isn't it?"
You're nodding and shaking and pawing at his forearms, trying to tether yourself to reality in any way you can. You think you might be floating, on cloud 9, in some sort of euphoric trance. You can't believe no one's ever made you feel like this before. You're convinced no one ever will again.
Carmy quickens his pace and basks in the glory of your moans. He thinks this might be the most beautiful you've ever looked, spread out completely for him. Every inch of your skin is touching his, and it makes his heart skip a beat for a second.
He presses a kiss into your hair and keeps his mouth there, murmuring honeyed praises into your ear.
"Doin' so good for me."
"You got it, honey, that's it."
"Atta girl. Keep going. Almost there."
"You look so fuckin' pretty like this. Fuck. Gonna be thinking about this forever."
"I'll ruin you, baby. Nothing's ever gonna compare to this, to what we have."
All you can do is moan in response, his filthy words pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You're almost there, but something is stopping you. You whine in frustration, tears welling in your eyes. Carmy feels the tension suddenly grasp your muscles, and leans down to mutter to you softly.
"What is it, sweet girl? What do you need? Just tell me. Anything, and I'll give it to you."
You're not sure how much you trust your voice right now, so you decide to show him instead. You take the hand that he's using to hold you to him and move it up your body until it's resting against your throat. You tighten your fingers around his, and moan in response to the pressure.
"Oh, baby," he coos. "Filthy fuckin' girl. Here I thought you were so innocent, and this whole time you wanted to be choked like a whore?"
The way he degrades you so lovingly makes you mewl. You'd never ever trust anyone else to speak to you this way in such an intimate moment - but with Carmen, there's no hesitation. You know he's just telling you what you need to hear in the heat of the moment. And you love him for it.
"Fuck, Carmen," you manage to choke out. "Keep going. Don't stop, please."
"I'll do anything you want if you keep saying my name like that," he whispers.
"Carmen," you moan in response. "Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy."
You're chanting his name like a prayer. He's rutting into your back, hips grinding and circling in time with his fingers that are maintaining their steady rhythm. His fingers tighten around your throat as he crooks his digits just right, and the result is a devastating moan from you that Carmy wishes to have on repeat for the rest of his life.
"So close," you whisper hoarsely. "Harder."
Carmy uses his thumb to circle your clit with one hand, other hand pulling you by your neck back into him tightly. He grinds his hips dirtily into you, and the feeling of him so silky and warm against you is what sends you over the edge. The corners of your vision go white as you arch into him, head thrown backwards into his chest. The sounds you're making are so melodic, so borderline angelic that Carmy almost cries. Heaven, he thinks. This is salvation.
Carmy finishes with you, climaxing onto the soft skin of your back. You both relax simultaneously, chests heaving and panting. He removes his fingers gently and wraps both arms around you, pulling you into him tightly despite the mess. He reaches to brush the hair out of your face, and the gesture is so tender it makes your lip quiver.
"Thank you," you whisper after what feels like hours of comfortable silence.
"Sorry I called you a whore," he murmurs back.
You let out a surprised laugh, vibrating with amusement in his arms.
"I know you didn't mean it."
"I mean I did give you the best orgasm of your life, so... call it even?"
"You're forgiven," you chuckle. "Completely forgiven."
You trace gentle patterns over his forearms with your fingertips, following the black ink of his tattoos. He sighs in contentment and places a kiss into your hair, relaxing further into the couch.
You sit together like that for a while, neither of you too concerned with the time. It's not often you see Carmy so relaxed, so serene. You're enjoying it for as long as you can.
"We should clean up," he says quietly, eventually. "Sorry about the mess."
"It's okay. Worth it," you tease, pinching his thigh. He pinches your side in retaliation, which makes you jump.
"Come on, trouble."
He stands from the couch, never letting go of the grip he has on you. You have no choice but to stand with him, yelping as he half carries you through the apartment towards the shower.
The sounds of both of your laughter bounce off of the abandoned mugs of tea still sat on the coffee table, melodic and joyous. The moonlight seeps through the windows, illuminating the beginning of something special in the living room of your shared apartment.
Hi hun! I just love love love your pieces <3
As for Carmy prompts - could we have some hurt to comfort when Carmen doesn't show up for a date? It's ok if you dont wanna do it or i requested incorrectly, but if you do, i cant wait to read!!!!! Thank you so much mwah mwah mwah
I’m not thaaaaaat sure how I feel about this and it’s so long but your request was so sweet I had to!!! Ily <3333
wc:1.1k
There’s so fucking much in his ear. Fak’s screaming whatever bullshit he’s sure will help absolutely nothing, Richie’s harassing Sydney and Tina’s trying to keep them all in line and will of that goddamn chaos, he shouldn’t be able to make out anything.
Prepping this whole thing, the opening, Richie biting his head off for fucking sending him to the best kitchen in the city- it’s all a bit fucking much.
He barely hears the door open (she has a key, because of course she does) and he doesn’t even look over his shoulder as he calls out her name.
“Hey, baby,” he yells back towards the entrance. It feels good, chopping the vegetables. It’s actually one of her favorite dishes that he’s making, and something inside him preens that he gets to feed her tonight. Everything feels illustrious under her gaze. He remembers the first time he’d cooked for her, how her watchful gaze felt a bit like sunlight; equal parts burning and doused in light.
She’d said she liked his hands, then. Said he looked pretty with a knife and a cutting board. “Will you try this sauce for me?”
He hears her heels click, the soft thud of her purse landing on the couch. It’s a slow saunter she does to him, but he’s razor focused- what does it need, garlic? Oregano?
It only breaks when he sees her. And she looks gorgeous. Wearing a black dress with a cowl neck, shimmery eyeshadow that catches and dances in the low light of the kitchen, a crimson lipstick neatly applied to her beautiful pout.
She smells like vanilla, and Carmen has the privilege of knowing what real, rich, Madagascar vanilla smells like. He’d loved the scent so much that he’d bought her a perfume made from it, and there’s a warmth blooming in his chest when he realizes that she’s wearing it.
Wordlessly, she opens her mouth and leans forward to try the sauce covered wooden spoon he’d raised to her lips.
Even when she’s in front of him, he can’t believe she’s someone he knows. That she’s wasting her time with someone like him.
“Jesus Christ you look beautiful,” he says without thinking, and he kisses her quick. It’s true. She’s a vision, plucked out of an old movie shot on grainy film, warm to the touch film.
He abandons the spoon and the sauce without much fanfare, a rough, calloused hand meeting her soft warm cheek.
“Thanks, Carmen.” she says, but her doe-eyes deny the joy she typically exudes in his presence. It’s his proudest achievement, how she glows around him. She’s tight lipped, smile betraying her words.
“What’s wrong? Is it the sauce? I know it’s a mess in here, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you’d see it-“
“No! No, seriously, it’s okay, honey.” She tries to insist but it really doesn’t work. He moves the pot off the burner and twists himself completely to face her, placing a gentle hand at the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. He tries not to let it sting, how she stiffens for a moment before softening again.
“What happened?” He asks again.
“It’s the first,” she says, a rueful grin on her pretty lips, before gesturing down at her outfit, and oh.
The dinner. The fucking dinner that he’d promised her. His sweet girl, who waited up every night, who dutifully tasted every recipe, who soothed him on nights where nightmares stole his sleep-
“Fuck,” he says, more to himself than her, but god, he can’t stop looking at her, “Fuck! God, I’m such an asshole, I’m so sorry-“ he insists, suddenly so grateful that she’s letting him touch her, even more aware of every point of contact with the sudden fear that it could escape in a moment’s notice.
“Y’know, Carm, if you could’ve just told me that would’ve been one thing? But I left the reservation, and this was the one night we both had off!”
“I know, baby, fuck, I forgot-“
She backs away from him, and there’s a sick feeling in his stomach. Sitting on the chair he keeps by the stove (he put it there for her, because she loved watching him) she pinches the bridge of her nose.
“It’s just not fair, Carm. To either of us. If you don’t have time for this-“
“I have time for this! I have time. Don’t say things like that.”
“Carmy, I’m not trying to hurt you. You know that’s the last thing I want.”
And it is. It’s the last thing she wants, and Carmen fucking knows it. Knows that three months in he’s supposed to have brought her flowers and taken her out and done more than cook for her and spend hours in his shitty apartment, and lately she’s been asking if he has time for being in a relationship.
And maybe he doesn’t, but fuck it if he doesn’t feel like he can breathe around her. This was the point of the dinner- take her out, be a boyfriend. Have her wait a little while on him. Show her he’s worth it.
Instead he fucking missed it, stayed home and made sauce no one would even eat.
“I’m sorry,” he says, grabbing her hand and lacing it through his own. It always shocks him, how it fits his own. “Okay? I’m so, so fuckin’ sorry. Tell me what I can do. Tell me, cos I’ll do just about fuckin’ anything to get you to stop saying shit like that.”
Her voice comes out small.
“I was alone, Carm. They kept trying to take my order and you weren’t there, and eventually I had to leave.“
She looks up at him, eyes sparkling and kind and Carmen. She looks beautiful, and if he wasn’t with her, he’d see her in the street and hate whatever fuck was lucky enough to be who she got dressed up for.
“I am so, so sorry. It’s just with the stove, and Fak, and Richie fucking calling me to bitch me out every thirty seconds,” she reaches her delicate fingers to brush his cheek with concern, “I should’ve remembered. It’s just about the only thing this week worth remembering. And you look…stunning, I should’ve been there. I should’ve. Please.”
Her expression softens and he loves the sight of her, warm and kind and lovely in both form and temperance. She’s so patient with him, responds with kindness- a gift.
She brushes her soft lips on his cheek and he tries to savor the sensation, note how warm and wonderful it is to have her form pressed against his, how her arms knot themselves around his waist.
“I know you’re stressed, babe,” she murmurs against his cheek, eyes shut, “tell you what. Why don’t you make me something better than what that place could’ve, huh?”
After he kisses her for so long that excess is no longer the right terminology, he makes her the best pasta she’s ever had in her goddamn life.
It’s better this way, anyway. She’s gorgeous in a way that’s just his to look at tonight.
hi!! can i request carmy berzatto #16, t? 🤭
Finders, Keepers.
16. "Is that my shirt?" + t. Roommates
Author's Note - this is written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested. my first time writing for beautiful angel boy carmy <3
Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader
Age Rating - 18+
Warnings - smut!! + cursing
Word Count - 1185
Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.
The Roommate Collection.
Having Carmen Berzatto as a roommate is a blessing and a curse.
It's a blessing for many reasons. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate. He cooks, he cleans, he loads the dishwasher correctly. He's fairly quiet, he respects your boundaries, he always lets you choose the movie to watch. He's perfect in every way, really.
He's perfect in every way. That's the curse.
He's the most attractive man you've ever laid your eyes on. And he cooks. And he cleans. And he's the best roommate you could ever ask for. You're convinced anyone would struggle not to fall in love with him. Anyone.
You've fallen victim to the Berzatto charm. As much as you'd love to tell him, you don't want to ruin this good thing the two of you have. It's not worth it. So, you keep your mouth shut, and your eyes glued to his perfect face whenever he's not looking. It's sometimes painful, but it works.
✵ ✵ · ✵ * · ✵
You're woken up bright and early by someone knocking on your bedroom door.
"I'm making breakfast. Lesson, or nah?"
Before you met Carmy, you couldn't really cook. Sure, you knew the basics, but he's opened you up to all sorts of new techniques and flavours. Whenever he starts to prepare a meal, he'll ask you if you want a lesson. Sometimes, you'll say no, content to watch him do his thing in the kitchen. More often than not, you'll say yes, allowing him to talk you through what he's doing and why. He explains everything step by step, always ensuring he's thorough but never patronising. These little cooking lessons allowed the both of you to get to know each other, bonding you together.
"Yeah, sure!" you call through the door, still half asleep. "Give me a minute."
You hear him turn the coffee maker on, the sounds of mugs clinking together filling the kitchen.
You stumble out of bed, grabbing around for something to wear. You find a dark grey t shirt on the chair and throw it over your head haphazardly. Pulling some socks on to tackle the morning chill, you run your fingers through your hair before making your way through the apartment.
Carmy's wearing his navy plaid pyjama pants and a white t shirt that hugs his biceps just right. His hair is sticking up in all directions, and it takes everything in you not to reach out and fix it into place.
"Morning, sweetheart," he says without turning around. "What do you want for breakfast, pancakes or waffles?"
"Hmmm," you debate. "Waffles, I think."
"Waffles it is."
Carmen turns around from where he's been brewing the coffee, and almost falls over. You're stood leaning against the counter, hair mussed and eyes still sleepy. Your legs are on full display, socks ending just above your ankle, skin glowing in the morning light. You smell like warmth and a golden sunrise. Carmy holds onto the mug in his hand like his life depends on it.
"Coffee," he stutters, handing it to you. You cross the kitchen and take it from him, kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. You both pretend not to notice the way heat blooms up his chest at the action.
The longer he looks at you, the more he can't put his finger on what it is that's driving him insane. There's something different about you this morning, and it's got him riled up. His eyes rake over your body once, twice, three times before he figures it out.
"Is that my shirt?"
You look down to find that yes, it is. You must have picked it up from the pile of clean laundry he did yesterday accidentally.
"Oh, shit. Sorry, Carmy."
"No, it's okay. You look... you... it's - fuck."
You've never seen his brain short circuit like this, and you're not entirely sure what's happening.
"Are you... alright, Carmy?"
"God," he groans. "Stop saying my name like that."
"... like what?"
"Like... fuck. You say it so fuckin' pretty."
He has a look in his eyes you've never seen before. It's almost animalistic. He looks feral.
He strides over to you, cradling your face in his calloused hands. He presses his forehead to yours, and exhales shakily.
"Will you let me taste you, honey?" he murmurs.
Your breath catches in your throat, and your knees go weak. It's a good job he's holding you up.
"Please," he practically begs. "I'll make you feel real good."
You answer him by smashing your lips to his, hands fisting in the front of his shirt. He kisses you back with vigour, tongues tangling and mouths melding. You moan and he swallows it, committing the sound to memory.
Carmy walks you backwards and hoists you up onto the edge of the kitchen table, before dropping to his knees. He looks debauched, knelt in front of you with wide eyes and swollen lips. You think he's never looked prettier.
He starts by kissing up from your ankles to your thighs, building the tension expertly. You're practically vibrating with anticipation, desperate to feel him where you need him most. Your underwear is soaked through, and you're convinced you're going to go insane if he doesn't get his mouth on you soon.
As if he's reading your mind, he nudges his nose against your covered core, inhaling. He groans at your scent, and it's the filthiest thing you've ever seen. He pulls your underwear down in one quick swoop, looking up at you carefully. You grab the hem of your shirt, ready to pull it over your head, but Carmy stops you.
"Leave it on," he mutters. "Please."
You nod your head, and he takes that as confirmation. He dives into you, lapping you up like a man parched. He's nipping, biting, suckling at you as if he's done it a thousand times before. You prop yourself on your elbows, giving you the perfect view of this perfect man in this perfect situation. He's so eager to please you it makes your heart and your core ache.
"Fuck," he groans. "Sweetest thing I've ever tasted."
He slips two fingers into you with ease, and your back arches. You're writhing, moaning on every out breath, struggling to inhale. Is there anything this man can't do?
You can feel your orgasm building, warm and persistent in your stomach. Carmy can too.
"Come on, honey," he begs. "Give it to me. I want it. Let me have it."
You're not sure if it's his dulcet tone or the way his fingers curl on every upstroke, but you fall apart, hips keening and back canting. You whine his name and he groans, low and deep.
"There we go," he's muttering. "Good girl. That's it. Atta girl."
When he's satisfied you're satisfied, he stands up and kisses you again, allowing you to taste yourself on his bitten lips.
"No Michelin star dish is ever going to compare to that," he teases against your mouth. You both laugh, giddy off of each other.
"Shut up," you giggle. "Now, are we making waffles, or what?"