Charlie Would Absolutely Bring Them To A Fair Though - Tumblr Posts
Characters as things I've said/heard people say
I went to the fair with my family so you get this
---
Angel: No regrets, if we die good riddance
----
Cherri: I would strap myself to a bomb for fun
----
Charlie: I haven't pet a cow in too long I think
----
Vaggie: *furious* All because I can't crochet
----
Husk: if I was a goat I'd uhhh umm I don't know I'd probably just be a goat... Sleep maybe?
----
Angel: I'm going to touch your ankles
Husk: What are you, some kind of Victorian pervert?
----
Charlie: *gasping and pointing to a sign* SUPER FRIED CHICKEN
Angel: Lame I want super SUPER fried chicken
----
Alastor: *watching pork roast* Gorgeous
----
Charlie: *feeding Vaggie* here comes the airplane
Alastor: ... That was embarrassing for both of you
----
Vaggie: *watching a man dressed as a cockroach walk by* The men have started morphing into their true forms
----
Cherri: Wouldn't it be funny if this place got set on fire
Charlie: No??? There would be a stampede
Cherri: Oh damn I would die
Charlie: No, you would stampede?
Cherri: I wouldn't run
Charlie: *sigh* yeah, of course not
----
Sir Pentious: If I died on a rollercoaster my last words would be "Wahoo"
----
Nifty: I need to destroy, I need to rip something to shreds with my bare hands
----
Lucifer and his Candy apple adventures a saga:
Lucifer: *holding a candy apple* oh hell yeah I'm gonna fuck this shit UP
-
Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*
Alastor: *doesn't notice*
Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*
Alastor: *looks around* ???
Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*
Alastor: *looks back at him* What are you doing?
Lucifer: Huh?
Lucifer: *spits seed at Alastor*
Alastor: WILL YOU STOP
Lucifer: What are you talking about????
Alastor: You're throwing something in my hair and on my shoulders and back-
Lucifer: *singing* head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!
(my sister never figured out what I was doing 💀)
-
Lucifer: *still eating his candy apple* Why am I eating this like a chicken wing?
Charlie: Is that not how you're supposed to eat it?
Lucifer: You are absolutely right
-
Lucifer: *covered in candy apple* I'm sticky 🥺
-
Lucifer: *done with his candy apple but still chewing on the stick*
Alastor: *takes a bite of a mozzarella stick*
Lucifer: *gasps* MOZZARELLA STICKS
Alastor: *dips mozzarella sticks in marinara sauce and holds it out to Lucifer*
Lucifer: *reaches for it*
Alastor: *takes it back and glares*
Lucifer: what? oh- weirdo *eats it from his hand*
----
Lucifer: Can you bring me to the bathroom?
Alastor: I'm not carrying you
Lucifer: *rolls eyes* can you walk me to the-
Alastor: I might be able to find you a little red wagon
Lucifer: I'm going to punch you
----
Cherri: Froot loops are just-
Angel: *nods seriously* Gay Cheerios
----
Charlie: I need to find a bathroom to cry in asap
----
Vaggie: She's either drunk or high off something
Angel: I think it would be easier if I was high
----
Charlie: All I can smell is weed
Angel and Cherri: *deep inhale*
Charlie: NO
----
Alastor: Ugh there are so many people
Lucifer: I know I'm dying
----
Angel: *gasp* MY PHONE IS ON ONE PERCENT
Alastor: *completely monotone* oh no the horrors
----
Stranger: Is that your dad?
Husk: Do I look that old?
Angel: No, we're married
Stranger: Oh... you're married
Angel: *laughing* No
Husk: DO I LOOK THAT OLD????
----
Lucifer: *singing along* I can count on you like 4 3 2 you'll be there
Alastor: No I'd leave you
Lucifer: Yeah I know
Alastor: Like everyone else
Lucifer: oh
----
Nifty: *staring at crystals* Do I think they could heal me? No, I am beyond repair. Do I think they're so so so so pretty? YES!!! I NEED THEM
----
Lucifer: *overstimulated, angry, and grinning with tears in his eyes* I wish I could enjoy things
---