Dashiell Qwerty - Tumblr Posts

𝗼𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲: [walking around the table, pointing at everyone] YOU'RE gay, YOU'RE gay, WE'RE ALL GAY!! THIS ENTIRE ASSOCIATION IS GAY!!

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𝗺𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗲: what's the leading cause of divorce?

𝗸𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗿: when couples conceive people like me as their offspring :)

𝗺𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗲:.....oh.

𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗼:.......do you, like, need a hug or something?-

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𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘆: fun fact! you can fit a lightbulb in your mouth, but can't get it out without breaking it.

𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗮𝗸: ohh no, i am NOT falling for this one again-

𝗱𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗲𝗹𝗹: a-.......again?-

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𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘆: excuse me, ma'am, has there ever been a robbery at this establishment?

𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗼𝗻: uhh, not that i know of, no.

𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗼𝗻: [quietly carrying the statue of the bombinating beast away in the background]

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𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗮: are you sad?

𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘆:....yea

𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗮: good. i'm here to keep it that way.