Day 06 - Tumblr Posts

Sleep...

What a curious thing it was.

Necessary to recharge the human body yet fraught with dangers. It was a time of complete vulnerability... Removed from awareness of the world in which you dwelt, unable to defend against assault in that external realm yet also at risk from internal attack in the form of nightmares and sleep paralysis and other nocturnal terrors.

He loathed it. Dreaded it. Sought to rise above the need his body had for it.

But he also longed for it. The escape from the walls of his prison. The chance to see him again... to let memory coalesce into reality if only in the world of dreams...

And despite his warring emotions on the matter... regardless of how his frail human body required that unconscious shutdown...

He could not sleep. It evaded him. It eluded him. It refused him.

Days became weeks became months.

They plied him with drugs. Medications to reorder his synapses. Trial runs of this product, test batches of that... Concoctions created to tap into his neurotransmitters...

Guesswork, they admitted. Throwing possible antidotes to his issue at the proverbial wall to see what may stick.

He was drowning in medications. Desperate for the most debilitating ones. Jonesing for the injections that let him turn off his brain, that enabled him to briefly forget the silver-haired specter that haunted him constantly. Why would he have betrayed him? Lied to the courts and cast him to the wolves?

In his heart of hearts he knew the awful truth. But it was so much easier to simply go mad. His savior in the trenches could not be his downfall once they were free - it was nonsensical. The man he trusted so deeply, the man who had been so intimately a part of his life...

Better to avoid the weakness of sleep, where dreams would tease him and nightmares would force him to acknowledge the truth. Better to drive himself out of his own skull through sheer lack of rest. Better to succumb to the void through whatever combination of drugs cast him into a stupor.

And so he was an unwilling test subject ... though those institutionalized had little say over their own autonomy.

And so the shadow Vicious threw over his life grew larger and darker still.

Sympathy / Blues / Understanding

The lounge was dimly lit and heavily smoky and the blues band on the small stage in the back was deep into their third set of the night.

why fight the feeling when I can't fight back the tears...

I stare at the ceiling and wish that you were here...

I'm going crazy but I ain't crazy yet..

It's just the blues as blues can get...

The guitarist and pianist let the last notes dribble out together, spiralling towards the end like water circling the drain, and then the band paused for another round of drinks to be delivered.

Leaning out from the microphone, the guitarist called warmly down to the table of two that had been there for hours. "Miss? Any requests?"

Faye looked up from the tumbler of Scotch with bloodshot eyes.

"Got anything sadder?"

The band members exchanged sympathizing looks and Faye flashed them a watery smile.

Jet, morosely nursing a nearly empty glass, stared at the ice as if it held all the answers of the universe.

Faye sniffled and wiped the back of her hand across her nose, very ladylike. Ever the gentleman, Jet blinked back to the present in time to notice and rummaged through a pocket until he found a handkerchief with barely any grease on it to offer her.

"Didn't realize you'd take it this hard." He rumbled at her.

Glaring back at him, Faye noisily blew her nose into the cloth.

Jet raised both hands as if to ward off an attack. "Love, I caught you eating his food just a few weeks ago."

Sighing, Faye shook her head and then offered a shrug before saying defensively, "well, babe, you always enabled him to eat like a king."

Behind their table, the door to the tavern opened and a young woman swept into the lounge, spied the pair immediately, and flounced over to plop down between them. Her thick reddish hair was a riot in all directions, the kind of body to it that women from the 1980s would have given anything for, and her bright golden eyes dimmed as she took in the depression that had settled over the table.

"Bron-Y-Aur Stomp, please!" She called out to the band that was about to decide on the opener of their fourth set. The guitarist, seemingly relieved to have a slightly more cheerful audience to play for, gave her a nod.

"How can you... How are you... How?" Faye asked helplessly.

The young woman, Ed, shrugged. "He was safe and warm and happy." She smiled faintly, tears glistening in her eyes. "He was home. How could I be upset that he chose to leave us on such a note?"

"There are certainly worse ways to go. Besides, 17 years is quite a feat." Jet acknowledged gruffly.

Ed leaned over to rest her head on Jet's shoulder and reached out to take Faye's hand, linking the three of them together in grief and understanding.

"I'll love him forever. I'll miss him for always."

Faye's lower lip trembled. "He was such a good boy," she whispered.

Jet shook his head. "No. He was the best boy."

Batman - All Media Types

Teen And Up Audiences

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

M/M

Complete Work

11 Oct 2023

Tags

Graphic Depictions Of Violence Roy Harper/Jason Todd Roy Harper Jason Todd Sheila Haywood Joker (DCU) Emotional Hurt/Comfort Hurt/Comfort Nightmares Established Roy Harper/Jason Todd Jason Todd Needs A HugJason Todd Gets A HugJason Todd Deserves BetterJason Todd-centric Married Roy Harper/Jason Todd Blood and InjuryBlood and Violence Angstober 2023 Day 06

Summary

Jason has nightmare about Joker beating him,his husband Roy helps him.

Day 6: "what's wrong?"

Series

Part 6 of Angstober 2023

"What's wrong?"

Martha Hudson filled the kettle and placed some of her biscuits on a plate. Every now and again she glanced through the open door to the man sitting in her living room. She sighed again. When the tea was ready, she placed it on the tray beside the biscuits and went over to Sherlock. “Sherlock dear, you have to eat. Tell me you ate something today?” The man lifted his gaze and blinked at her in confusion, as if he had no clue where he was or what he was doing. It was quite possible that he really did not know. Mrs Hudson sat down next to him and placed a hand on his back. Sherlock had come down to her about two hours ago, and was now sitting in her flat like a statue, not moving, not speaking, looking utterly lost. “Sherlock, what's wrong?” she asked in a gentle tone. Sherlock blinked again and slowly, so slowly, turned his head. He frowned, then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, he looked shattered, utterly broken and forlorn. “I love him,” he said eventually, in a low and distant tone, as if he was bewildered himself. Mrs Hudson's face fell with this confession and she stroked Sherlocks back in a reassuring manner. “Oh dear...” Sherlock put his elbows on his knees and placed his face in his palms. “I'm in love, Mrs Hudson...” His voice cracked, and he looked completely broken. Her chest tightened at the sight and she searched for words to soothe Sherlock, when he continued. “I fell for him, exactly one year ago.” He took a deep and shuddering breath. “The night we met. The night he saved my life. And I'm still falling. One year, Mrs Hudson. And every day, every single day, I look at him, and I love him a bit more than the day before. And it hurts.” His breathing was fast and rough, his entire body was tensed and positively trembling. “It hurts... and it's not getting better. When will it stop? Is it ever going to stop?” His eyes were red and he was looking so desperate, so done with everything. Mrs Hudson closed her eyes as she thought about all the rude and thoughtless comments of Sherlocks flatmate. 'Not a couple,' 'Not gay' and so on. She closed her arms around the broken man and shushed him, rocking him gently back and forth. “Maybe it will never end, and maybe it will continue to hurt. But you will learn to live with it. You will learn to love him in your own way, to live with him and for him. And on the days you think it is too much, I will be there for you, and you can talk to me. Remember, that you can always talk to me...” She squeezed him tightly and lowered his head onto her shoulder, while the strongest man she knew, shattered into pieces in her arms.

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