Dnd Quotes - Tumblr Posts

I'm playing a campaign with my friends, and we call the dm "God" and the funniest fucking thing just happened.

"God is gaslighting me!" - Our rouge after she claims to have heard the dm say, "there are no more wendigos, yet."

Our party's wizard referring to the boss: I just wanna lick the lizard.

Me a dragon born druid and my kobold druid friend: *sweats*

Context: at the beginning of the game, our arakocra wizard and kobold druid were married (our rogue officiated).

Wizard after finding a ring on a corpes: I run over to druid.

Wizard: I give the ring

Druid: I accept this ring generously

Wizard: Nice, I run back to the corpse

"That sounds like a whole lot of not my problem."

D&D Campaign, Nickle the Warforged Barbarian

"Fuck this and fuck you but also don't leave me here I'm scared."

- Our entire party every session of the campaign so far

Tag yourself as out of context quotes from my D&D campaign

"ARE YOU GIVING THE BANDITS A TIP?!"

“You sure run fast, but are you fast enough to outrun consequences?”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me my clothes weren’t coordinated?” *upon getting colour vision back*

“Once it’s back on the material plane it’s not my job to deal with it”

"You can have my foot"

“Can I ever really truly die if I don’t have a soul?” *during a casual card game*

"I will pet the gastropod"