Dont Like My Family I Dont - Tumblr Posts

Another thing that gets me with the whole "oh you might not feel romantic love but you can still feel platonic or familial love!" is it's kind of alienating to abuse & trauma survivors, no? Like, no, I don't feel familial love. Thats a good thing for me. If I loved my family I would probably be in a much worse position than I am now. There are people who've been bullied and mocked by their friends who probably wish they couldn't feel platonic love.

Maybe people will say "oh in that case they're not real family, they're not real friends", but that's just worse. My mother did love me. She abused me. Her love for me contributed to her abuse of me, they're not separate. For me, saying that my mother didn't "truly" love me, or wasn't "actually" family, diminishes the harm that her familial love caused. Likewise, my ex-friends that caused me harm were friends. I cared for them and trusted them, and they did me. And they still caused significant damage to my mental health.

And of course lovelessness isn't strictly or always (or even mostly!) a response to abuse or trauma. But it's just... exhausting, frankly, to be alienated both as a loveless afamilial aplatonic person, and as someone who's suffered abuse and trauma at the hands of family and friends.