Afamilial - Tumblr Posts
Cishet aspecs are queer.
Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.
Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.
Btw, being aro, ace, aroace, or another identity that falls under the a umbrella is one of the most queerest experiences I've ever heard of. Like, society has ingrained into pretty much everyone that you need to be in a romantic relationship and have sex? And you go AGAINST that??? That's fucking AWESOME!
Loveless aros, you have everyone, even the aro, ace, and aroaces communities talking about how "B-but, aros can still love!! We love our friends!! Not like those monsters who don't!!" and you're still you, and continue to be awesome??? Amazing!!
Moral of the story: aros, aces, aplatonics, afaimials, and others that fall under the a umbrella are queer as hell and are awesome and fuck aphobes
People out there say that afamilal people aren’t valid and familial attraction isn’t a thing and then turn around and say stuff like ‘oh yeah this person is like a sibling to me’ and ‘my chosen family’ and ‘my mother-figure’ and ‘I love my pet like a child’.
Anyway, afamilial folks are awesome. Loveless folks are awesome.
WE GoT A B0NE TO PICK 👀 wItH thE SHIpShIp-ShApE oF FANfICTION 🌀, Ya knoW 👈🏽 WHY EVrYtHINg GOTTA BE abOUT 🖇️ SM00ChY SMooChS 💔 or THoSE twO Pe0pl3 GIVin’ EACH OthEr GooGly EYEs??? 🤡 wE JUS WANNA 🛠️ BReAK iT OpeN ⚡ Like YEah, LeT uS WATCH ’EM gO on A QUEST ⚔️, FIGHT DRAG0NS 🐲 or FiSH foR THosE wEiRd gLOWInG 🐟FISHb0NES, CrEaTE aRT 🖍️, tame THE wILD bEAsTS 🦖, DriNK ☕︎ CoFFEE aND talK AboUT ThE sKY, HikE Up MOuNtAInS ⛰️ TO ScreAm aT tHe Sun—🗣️
c’moN ✋ but NAHHH NOOOOO!!! 🚫❌ iTS GOTTA Be C0uPLeD uP 💏, iT’s All SMOTHERED IN SaUCY SLOPPY 🥴 roMANce SUcKINGS anD 🌸 EVERYTHIN’ gOTTA B E dONE WiTH THat TwINkle EyED DuO 💫 like it’s Gotta BE ThEIR LiTtlE LoVEboAt 🚤 wE ArE TryIn' T0 NaVigaTe 😵💫!! iT’s Like WatChin’ a Sh0W wHEre tHE w0rld iS FaLLinG aPArT But Oh YEAh, 🥴 THEY kIsSED in THe bACK oF a BuRNiNG HOUSE 🏚️.
seRiousLy, 90% oF ThESE FaNFicS, WhErE’s tHe PLOT 🍿?! wE aRE reaDInG a gLoRiFiEd DAtiNg SImUlaTOR 📲! IT’S aLL abOUT ThEir MUSHy-GUSHy dynaMICs 💥—nOTHinG ELSE gOinG Onnn 🚷. IT’s LIKE, We Get AmAt0n0rmATIViTY, suRE buT C'MON 💢! Fanfic’s WILD TerrAin 🗺️, WRITeR’$ pLaYGROund, U caN DO ANYTHING!! 🌈 No laWs, N0 rULes, BUT—pEOPLE KeeP PiNNiNG tHEir StORiES tO RELAtioNSHiP cENTRAL 💍.
We’rE JusT sayin’, FilteR "GEN" ALL yA WANT 🌪️ but iT DoEsn’T fRee U from tHe InSAnE ShIp wORLd, EVEN tHe FRiEnDShIp 4n f4MilY oNes 👫... UGGHHHHH 🍂! WhY NOt cREATE somEthINg BIGGer? 🌌 MorE UnrULy? More Than juST HEARTBEATS anD COUPLEs’ NESTinG! 😬 We'rE h0wLiNG, SCREAMin’, This SociEty ☄️ HATES US WHO DON'T WANNA B TAnGLeD In ReLATIonSHip WEbS 🕸️!!
Ooooh, aren’t *labels* just a tricky little knot in the fabric of reality? Don’tcha love it when people try to stitch *you* right into a boring ol’ box? Like the universe hasn’t got ENOUGH puzzles, and now—ho ho!—here come the self-proclaimed *identity arbiters*, clutching their rulebooks like they’ve got the secret recipe for cosmic soup!
“Aces gotta be *this*, aros gotta be *that*!” Pfft, says *who*? Because guess what? There’s a world out there—no, a galaxy—**beyond** their puny checklist! Take a look at the stars, they’re not *all* the same, so why should WE be?
**Aro**? Means ya gotta love *somebody*, gotta have that soft-n-squishy family attachment? Riiiight, 'cause nothing screams *true existence* like forcing shapes into holes they don’t fit in. Some of us—oh yeah, that’s right—some of us walk on *no man’s land*. But nah, can’t have that, can we? Gotta be all cutesy family-or-friends-rep™, or else you’re just a cold, unfeeling freak! It’s almost like—oh, the HORROR!—folks *can’t* handle something that doesn’t make them feel all warm and fuzzy! But guess what? Cold can *burn* too, honey.
And ACES! Oh, aces! HA, what a laugh! “No sex, no spice, keep ‘em chaste, keep ‘em nice!” *Lemme just adjust your halo there, buddy.* So being ace means you can’t ever—oh no, heaven forbid—enjoy a little flavor of the flesh? Like the existence of sexuality in any capacity shatters the whole concept! What do ya know?! One-dimensional understanding of a **spectrum**; it’s like watching somebody try to read a dictionary with a blindfold on! Think ya got the full picture, huh? When you’re only seeing three pages out of a *thousand*. 👁ronic, right? As if every ace is sitting there, sipping *tea with the void*, just quivering at the thought of someone—gasp!—touching *their hand*. Give me a BREAK.
And don’t EVEN get me started on the beastie debates! “Oh, why make aces or aros out as demons or monsters?” Tsk, tsk, tsk. Here’s a lil’ secret: some of us wear those scales like a *crown*, baby! Spines and claws and teeth like black holes—who said it’s shameful, huh? 👁s there a RULE that says you gotta keep it *soft* and *sanitized*? Like we’re not crawling through a reality that’s already got too much squeaky-clean sunshine propaganda! Maybe the monsters want a say, too! Or—*gasp!*—maybe that’s who we *ARE*! Shocking, right?
And the fandom brawls—ah, gotta love those. So lemme get this straight: a character can be headcanoned in a whole universe of ways, but *one* step outside the lines and it’s blasphemy? Fandom *orthodoxy*, isn’t it? Twist the canon like a rubik’s cube, make it unrecognizable? Totally fine! But give an ace or aro a shot at dating, at breaking those preconceived boundaries? Nope, not allowed! ***“How DARE you write them with a hint of intimacy, a whiff of romance! That’s WRONG!”*** It’s like trying to juggle knives in zero gravity—doesn’t matter how many dimensions you account for, they just can’t handle it!
Now, lemme ask ya somethin’: why should ***any*** of it be boxed up, put in neat little packages like the universe was some kid’s toybox, huh? Because, heh—newsflash! That’s not how this multiverse *tick-tick-TICKS*, baby! It’s more like a dance of shadows, slipping in n’ out, no rhythm, no rhyme—just endless **flux**!
So let’s toss those prim-n-proper rules into the *flaming pit of conventional thinking*, let’s let ‘em SMOULDER! Who cares if some ace likes a little flirtation? If some aro wants to spin their own tangled web of connections—or *none at all*? Who cares if some poor demonized, animalized, *dehumanized* depiction resonates with folks who see their own *alter* and *nonhuman* in the mirror? That’s not shameful—that’s *freedom*. Because identity ain’t a *game* with a winning rulebook—nah, it’s a **storm** of shattered reflections, and every. single. shard. matters.
So, sorry, pals, your neat little definitions just don’t cut it. Just like ***THIS***—it’s not meant to be understood, just... *let it twist in your head for a bit.* Reality’s what you make it, and ***we’re done pretending otherwise.***
Catch on? Or nah?
happy lesbian visibility week to all lesbians ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜
Happy Lesbian Visibility Week to Aspec Lesbians!
Aromantic Lesbians Asexual Lesbians AroAce Lesbians AroAllo Lesbians AlloAce Lesbians
Aplatonic Lesbians Aqueerplatonic Lesbians Afamilial Lesbians Asensual Lesbians Analterous Lesbians Nonaesthetic Lesbians
Aspec Lesbians who never want to enter a romantic relationship Aspec Lesbians who never want to have sex Aspec Lesbians in relationships of any kind
Aspec Lesbians are fucking rad
amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life
NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people
allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want
NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay
platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends
NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that
faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family
NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that
lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont
NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!
NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all
NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships
NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits
NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members
NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about
it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!
nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.
bro i'm an alloromantic and allosexual(i'm pan and polyam btw) but even though i feel romantic attraction and sexual attraction pretty often and i also feel other types of attraction intertwined with these, sometimes i also just feel tertiary attractions alone(hope this makes sense) and i hate when other allos don't understand what i mean when i say that for example i only feel queerplatonic attraction for someone or when i say that i feel sensual and aesthetic attraction for someone or even when i say that i want other types of relationships rather than romantic relationships with people. like bro wtf just educate your-fucking-self! (a lil edit cause i forgot to add this) I FUCKING HATE HOW AMATONORMATIVITY AND MONONORMATIVITY AFFECT ME LIKE BRUH LEAVE ME ALONE!!
Cishet aspecs are queer.
Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.
Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.
i'm resposting this because i think it can be really helpful in case you're questioniong rather or not you're aspec or if you're questioning what type of attraction you're feeling :)
(this can also be helpful if you just want to learn more about different types of attraction)
Types of Tertiary Attraction Infographic
src: www.lgbta.wikia.org
Okay, but like... As an aro person who actually has problems with connecting to people in my life in emotionally acceptable ways, can we not turn something that is more often than not a symptom of an underlying mental disorder into a pride thing? It's just kinda giving that whole... Pop-ification of neurodivergency and queerness that is sold to young people online that I'm... Actually kinda sick of. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that not experiencing platonic love towards your friends and family makes you bad or broken. Mentally ill aromantics are not any less worthy of respect, and I am saying that as one. But the way to talk about something that is most likely just the most easily recognizable and categorizable symptom of a deeper underlying serious problem is probably not through the language of normalization.
hi reminder that aromantic people don’t have to compensate for their lack of romantic attraction with familial or platonic attraction. “aros still love their friends!!” sometimes they do. other times they don’t, and that’s okay! using non-rose attraction as a stand-in for romance invalidates loveless, afamilial, and apl folks. we don’t have to make up for our existence :3
If you want to move forward in advocacy, you have to remove the stigma about not loving someone in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't mean you hate them, just... you don't love them. That binary of love/hate needs to be broken down for all types of love. This applies to aros and aces in relationships, yes, but goes double for aplatonics and afamilials who don't love their family or friends. Not loving someone isn't a condemnation of that person, it just means you don't feel that way about them. Lacking love doesn't mean you wish someone harm.
; VERY IMPORTANT !! LOVE MY CISHET ASPECS !!
IT IS OKAY IF YOU ARE A CISHET QUEER PERSON
you are NOT lesser for being a cishet queer person
you are just as valid as anyone else!!
Signed ☝🏽
petition to call wondering if you're aspec "a-speculation"
Another thing that gets me with the whole "oh you might not feel romantic love but you can still feel platonic or familial love!" is it's kind of alienating to abuse & trauma survivors, no? Like, no, I don't feel familial love. Thats a good thing for me. If I loved my family I would probably be in a much worse position than I am now. There are people who've been bullied and mocked by their friends who probably wish they couldn't feel platonic love.
Maybe people will say "oh in that case they're not real family, they're not real friends", but that's just worse. My mother did love me. She abused me. Her love for me contributed to her abuse of me, they're not separate. For me, saying that my mother didn't "truly" love me, or wasn't "actually" family, diminishes the harm that her familial love caused. Likewise, my ex-friends that caused me harm were friends. I cared for them and trusted them, and they did me. And they still caused significant damage to my mental health.
And of course lovelessness isn't strictly or always (or even mostly!) a response to abuse or trauma. But it's just... exhausting, frankly, to be alienated both as a loveless afamilial aplatonic person, and as someone who's suffered abuse and trauma at the hands of family and friends.
I hate being loveless. Send post.
Slim Yim from Regretevator (Roblox) is aroace aplatonic a-aesthetic a-familial agender and altersex