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Trying to draw Vulpes’s side profile is like flaying myself alive

Modern AU where Vulpes raided the capitol

Bro can’t even pile body upon body 😭😭 wack ass mf

I do like how I can tell when someone is scrolling through the Vulpes tag because I have posted about him enough they like 5 of my posts in a row

Talk about zephyr pretty please she sounds super duper uber cool

Holy shit…. Oh my goodness….

Zephyr is my original courier (named after a Red Hot Chili Peppers song) who I have dedicated 22175 words worth of time to (and soon more). The fic is about a third done.

Minor warning for mentions of violence, s/a, and slavery. nothing graphic though. You have been warned.

Her basic story goes like this.

After helping Caesar’s Legion to take over New Vegas (the reasons for which consists mostly of greed) she decides to mope around the Lucky 38 most of the day. After a couple of months a small group of legionaries are like “you’re married now.”

Lets back up a little. Vulpes Inculta had begun a relationship with an NCR colonel to get access to important information for the war against the NCR. They had children closer to the second battle, and once Hoover Dam had been won he was like “surprise, I’m actually a Frumentarius and our relationship has been a lie.” Gets promoted, shipped off the kids, “married” her (now that he is promoted he is in control of the majority of the Strip, and so has the option to marry) and continues to live like that for a little while. About a month before he purchases the rights to marrying Zephyr, his wife tries to poison him by putting cleaning supplies in his food. He has her tongue cut off and sends her away.

Back to Zephyr, she finds out she has been married to Vulpes Inculta. She doesn’t particularly like him, but he might be more forthcoming with information on what happened to her friends now (spoiler alert, most of them are dead). The marriage is a relatively peaceful one, as far as relationships in the Legion can go (no s/a, I’m a firm believer that Vulpes has no “need” to assault someone because he is a spy and infiltrator and can engage in profligate activities whenever. There is a small amount of domestic abuse but Vulpes is cautious of Zephyr and never bruises her) the marriage is mostly just a bid for even more power on Vulpes’s part. At some point Zephyr learns about Vulpes’s past wife, but that’s more important in the story than in this explanation. She also receives a Fixer perscription due to her smoking addiction, and Inculta absolutely abhors smoking.

Everything comes to a head when one night Zephyr cooks Vulpes dinner. Although it was extremely unusual for Zephyr to cook (Vulpes only cooked food for himself after the poisoning attempt) Vulpes decides “hey, wow, look at that, she’s finally becoming a good wife.” He does not know it, but she has spiked the wine. He drinks a glass and it is enough to affect him. She leads him to the bed where she sits on his stomach and eats him alive.

After spending a couple of nights in the apartment with Inculta’s corpse in the bathtub she decides to escape on a night with no moon out, disguising herself as a vexillarius (asshole’s coyote hat) she makes her way out to the wasteland. Here’s where things get a bit tricky.

She knows that Boone is defending Jacobstown and slaughtering legionaries that get too close, so she heads there, is discovered, and I cannot figure out what happens next. Her and Boone definitely have a conversation since they used to be friends, and I’m leaning towards Zephyr trying to get him to kill her and him saying the equivalent of “you made your bed, lay in it.” So that’s all I have so far.

There’s also a few things I didn’t mention, like Arcade’s death and glasses, Veronica’s death, Raul and Cass’s disappearance, how Boone managed to keep living, the Arizona wives, the tiny statue of Juno Vulpes slipped to Zephyr unbeknownst to her, Vulpes being promoted because he’s actually going to be replaced soon, et cetera. But that’s pretty much Zephyr’s active story! She also has a very lengthy backstory.

IMAGINE IF VULPES INCULTA GOT A LOW TAPER FADE

As much as I hate him I do believe that Vulpes would be one of the few members of the Legion literate in both English and the broken Latin that they use. Unfortunately.

Songs that actually remind me of fallout companions characters in no particular order. The themes vary pretty wildly.

Arcade: Starting off with Danke Schoen (I listen specifically to the Wayne Newton version on Spotify) which is a thank you to an old love for all the good memories. This song fits the general motif of goodbyes to the past that Arcade’s character is struck through with, and it was translated into an English version from a foreign language (like auld lang syne).

Benny: In very Benny fashion, Luck Be A Lady by Frank Sinatra. It starts off slow but quickly speeds up, and of course the lyrics all sound like things he would say. Naturally the song is about gambling and the fickle nature of luck. Also, it is annoyingly catchy.

Vulpes: Basic, I know, but A Well Respected Man by The Kinks is definitely like him. While the song is originally a satire about the middle class in Britain, it speaks of a monotonous life with darker undertones in the background. Understandably, a spy is going to need to live a monotonous life like this in order to maintain his figure as an upstanding member of whatever society he’s infiltrating. Vulpes, right?

Boone: I Don’t Want To See Tomorrow by Nat King Cole (Holy shit fallout show reference). Yeah yeah yeah, sadman deadwife stuff, I get it, but this song really does seem like him. The lyrics are pretty damn depressing, talking about how life without a love is a life not worth living. It’s very slow and deliberately paced, and hauntingly mournful.

Cass: Here’s a surface level song, and I know her only character trait isn’t drinking, but Poor Little Critter on the Road by The Knitters, X, and Dave Alvin fits. Essentially its about having a good time drinking and living life chaotically.

Ulysses: Going back to somber songs, Buffalo Soldier by Bob Marley & The Wailers. The song is about African American cavalry troops fighting in the American Indian Wars and their struggle for survival, and I think it can reflect onto Ulysses very well. Some lyrics that are so, so, so much like him are “If you know your history/Then you would know where you’re coming from” followed by “Then you wouldn’t have to ask me/Who the heck do I think I am?”

I’ll prolly repost with more songs later idk

Is the clap of not twink Vulpes's ass alerting the guards king 🧍‍♂️

His ass is so flat if you slapped it his body would take a screenshot, it’s not alerting anyone

The fact people believe Vulpes Inculta when he says literally anything is astounding

I NEED TO KILL VULPES WITH A BASEBALL BAT SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE SLASH NEGATIVE

Why are so many of my mutuals and the people I follow VULPES FREAKS get me OUT OF HERE

Vulcade shippers were put on this earth to test my mental and emotional strength

I’m so fucking scared right now

Who would win in a fist fight vulpes inculta or arcade gannon

Arcade Gannon mops the floor with wolfpiss

I cannot take this anymore listening to Vulpes Inculta for accurate writing is actually sucking my soul out I can’t handle this man this is torture in the worst way possible

If Vulpes Inculta was a girl she’d be so much more tolerable but since he’s a guy I want him dead

vulpussy incunta

What if vulpes inculta was called vulfreak inculta and she was a woman and was a misandrist.

Vulpes Inculta is 5’4 just so you guys know

See guys even tiktok doesn’t like him