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I like to think they have a special relationship in my head

Putting all my points into science so I can get to know u better

finding time between work and university for my wife

Inspired by this one freaky panel in futurama comic

shoutout 2 this song for making me crazier abt him by association

Imagine your entire dudebro legion getting wiped out by a UPS employee with a traumatic brain injury 🐂💀

Talk about zephyr pretty please she sounds super duper uber cool

Holy shit…. Oh my goodness….

Zephyr is my original courier (named after a Red Hot Chili Peppers song) who I have dedicated 22175 words worth of time to (and soon more). The fic is about a third done.

Minor warning for mentions of violence, s/a, and slavery. nothing graphic though. You have been warned.

Her basic story goes like this.

After helping Caesar’s Legion to take over New Vegas (the reasons for which consists mostly of greed) she decides to mope around the Lucky 38 most of the day. After a couple of months a small group of legionaries are like “you’re married now.”

Lets back up a little. Vulpes Inculta had begun a relationship with an NCR colonel to get access to important information for the war against the NCR. They had children closer to the second battle, and once Hoover Dam had been won he was like “surprise, I’m actually a Frumentarius and our relationship has been a lie.” Gets promoted, shipped off the kids, “married” her (now that he is promoted he is in control of the majority of the Strip, and so has the option to marry) and continues to live like that for a little while. About a month before he purchases the rights to marrying Zephyr, his wife tries to poison him by putting cleaning supplies in his food. He has her tongue cut off and sends her away.

Back to Zephyr, she finds out she has been married to Vulpes Inculta. She doesn’t particularly like him, but he might be more forthcoming with information on what happened to her friends now (spoiler alert, most of them are dead). The marriage is a relatively peaceful one, as far as relationships in the Legion can go (no s/a, I’m a firm believer that Vulpes has no “need” to assault someone because he is a spy and infiltrator and can engage in profligate activities whenever. There is a small amount of domestic abuse but Vulpes is cautious of Zephyr and never bruises her) the marriage is mostly just a bid for even more power on Vulpes’s part. At some point Zephyr learns about Vulpes’s past wife, but that’s more important in the story than in this explanation. She also receives a Fixer perscription due to her smoking addiction, and Inculta absolutely abhors smoking.

Everything comes to a head when one night Zephyr cooks Vulpes dinner. Although it was extremely unusual for Zephyr to cook (Vulpes only cooked food for himself after the poisoning attempt) Vulpes decides “hey, wow, look at that, she’s finally becoming a good wife.” He does not know it, but she has spiked the wine. He drinks a glass and it is enough to affect him. She leads him to the bed where she sits on his stomach and eats him alive.

After spending a couple of nights in the apartment with Inculta’s corpse in the bathtub she decides to escape on a night with no moon out, disguising herself as a vexillarius (asshole’s coyote hat) she makes her way out to the wasteland. Here’s where things get a bit tricky.

She knows that Boone is defending Jacobstown and slaughtering legionaries that get too close, so she heads there, is discovered, and I cannot figure out what happens next. Her and Boone definitely have a conversation since they used to be friends, and I’m leaning towards Zephyr trying to get him to kill her and him saying the equivalent of “you made your bed, lay in it.” So that’s all I have so far.

There’s also a few things I didn’t mention, like Arcade’s death and glasses, Veronica’s death, Raul and Cass’s disappearance, how Boone managed to keep living, the Arizona wives, the tiny statue of Juno Vulpes slipped to Zephyr unbeknownst to her, Vulpes being promoted because he’s actually going to be replaced soon, et cetera. But that’s pretty much Zephyr’s active story! She also has a very lengthy backstory.