Gotta Love It When Antis Take Everything & Anything Out Of Context To Suit Their Narrative - Tumblr Posts

Jon's inadequate tastes :(

Where -- in all of ASOIAF -- has Jon ever expressed that he himself feels inadequate or undeserving? That his skill level isn't up to par? That he's not smart enough? Not worthy enough? Not handsome enough? Not able-bodied enough? Not good enough for a traditionally feminine woman?

As far as I can note, Jon's issues with self-image and identity come from the prejudice and scorn he faces over his bastardy -- scorn and prejudice Catelyn and (to a lesser extent) Sansa participated in against Jon.

When Jon had been a boy at Winterfell, his hero had been the Young Dragon, the boy king who had conquered Dorne at the age of fourteen. Despite his bastard birth, or perhaps because of it, Jon Snow had dreamed of leading men to glory just as King Daeron had, of growing up to be a conqueror. Now he was a man grown and the Wall was his, yet all he had were doubts. He could not even seem to conquer those.

But that doesn't stop Jonsas from dreaming up these little head canons where Jon views himself as "the ogre", the "BEAST", and that he cannot get a girl like Sansa so he must "settle" for action girls like Ygritte and Val :'(

They won't even take Jon's word for it that he's just not looking for a traditionally feminine girl. I think it's notable how this particular part of the fandom tries to re-invent the character of Jon Snow. In this case, they try to remove Jon's taste for unconventional action girls, replace it with a taste for conventionally feminine women, and attempt to invent issues of inadequacy that Jon.... does not have. When has Jon ever thought of himself as an ogre. But no, Jon is definitely not into unconventional action girls. No, really. Jon secretly longs for and is into traditionally feminine girls who are just like Sansa -- you know, the sibling who was too classist to regard Jon as real family.

And then there's this:

??? So it's okay for Jon to be attracted to "softer" qualities like smiling and singing, which is what traditionally feminine women like Sansa do too (and certainly not exclusively), but violence? Done by women?!?!? Human women?!?!

How could he explain Ygritte to them? She's warm and smart and funny and she can kiss a man or slit his throat. "She's with Styr, but she's not . . . she's young, only a girl, in truth, wild, but she . . ." She killed an old man for building a fire. His tongue felt thick and clumsy. The milk of the poppy was clouding his wits. "I broke my vows with her. I never meant to, but..." It was wrong. Wrong to love her, wrong to leave her..." I wasn't strong enough. The Halfhand commanded me, ride with them, watch, I must not balk, I..." His head felt as if it were packed with wet wool.

(ASOS, Jon VI) Jon did not like Ygritte's murder of the old man because that old man was an innocent. He's not against women doing violence. What would GRRM be trying to say if he gave Jon that attitude? "I can do violence and so can my brothers, brothers-at-arms, my father, all the men I've known in my life, but not them womenfolk, nope, hate it."

All the same, the wildling princess was not beloved of her gaolers. She scorned them all as "kneelers," and had thrice attempted to escape. When one man-at-arms grew careless in her presence she had snatched his dagger from its sheath and stabbed him in the neck. Another inch to the left and he might have died. Lonely and lovely and lethal, Jon Snow reflected, and I might have had her. Her, and Winterfell, and my lord father's name. Instead he had chosen a black cloak and a wall of ice. Instead he had chosen honor. A bastard's sort of honor.

(ADWD, Jon III)

"I will take any boy above the age of twelve who knows how to hold a spear or string a bow. I will take your old men, your wounded, and your cripples, even those who can no longer fight. There are other tasks they may be able to perform. Fletching arrows, milking goats, gathering firewood, mucking out our stables … the work is endless. And yes, I will take your women too. I have no need of blushing maidens looking to be protected, but I will take as many spearwives as will come."

(ADWD, Jon V)

"These women have knives and know how to use them." "And the first time one of these spearwives slits the throat of one of our brothers, what then?" "We will have lost a man," said Jon, "but we have just gained sixty-three. You're good at counting, my lord. Correct me if I'm wrong, but my reckoning leaves us sixty-two ahead."

(ADWD, Jon V) Yeah, he's really horrified by women doing violence. I find it strange and a bit fascinating how completely inside out Jon has been turned so they can ship him with their favourite character (Sansa Stark). At the time GRRM conceived ASOIAF in the late 80s-early 90s, unconventional girls like Arya, Dany, Lyanna, Brienne, and others who participated in the action and led armies was uncommon in media. Buffy the Vampire Slayer debuted in 1997, a year after the first ASOIAF book was released, and it was noted for being one of the first of its kind -- featuring an action girl who looks like the typical female victim in a horror film but who, instead, turns around and slays. Jon is one of the very few men in the ASOIAF world who appreciates this kind of woman -- and I think that opens up a whole new facet of Jon. He increasingly becomes more and more unconventional as the story goes on as he breaks from one tradition after the other. Instead of "admiring Sansa from afar" as one Jonsa claims, GRRM points out that it is Arya-like individuals who Jon finds admirable:

"You know, I don't think it's a reference for that [for romance]. It's a reference to a certain physical type, and a certain indication of what Jon finds admirable. It's like someone who reminds you of, you know... Other people might be put off by this, you know, hair that looks like small rodents have been living in there. It doesn't put him off because he is used to that."

GRRM, May 2016

And it's this vision that helps Jon strengthen the Wall and protect other women along the Wall. What on earth would be the point of having Jon be disturbed by women doing violence? What would be the narrative purpose of trying to replace Jon's unconventional taste with entirely conventional tastes? Why can't Jon's type just... not include girls like Sansa?