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not to start reaching but it’s…suspicious how often dennis has been saying he’s straight this season.

hear me out: as far as i can remember, dennis has never called himself straight before season 13. he didn’t have to, because he was acting on it. he talked about women a lot and openly flirted with them or slept with them, but he never specifically called himself anything.

and it’s just…interesting, that mac’s finally out of the closet and has openly expressed interest in dennis, and it’s already pretty likely that this fear of his shifting relationship toward mac (and how it’s hurtling toward something a whole lot more than platonic) and their feelings for each other is what drove him out of philly in the first place.

and now, suddenly, he’s professed how Totally Straight he is at least three or four times already. but even more interesting is that dennis hasn’t actually slept with any women this season. he hasn’t even hit on any, except for when frank and that high school kid came in and started saying that they thought dennis was supposed to be this big ladies’ man and were challenging his Hetero Cred…and then dennis tried (very badly, mind you) to flirt with a woman who was definitely a lesbian anyway but i digress

and it’s just…suspicious. i know that i certainly never called myself straight that much, and certainly not that voraciously, until it had already become startlingly clear to me that i wasn’t. and only after i was trying desperately to hold onto my last hopes of not being gay, and once i was trying really hard to convince everyone around me of it too, did i start saying it a lot. i’m just saying, it feels like dennis is being so loud about being straight to fill the gap in his conversations where he’s no longer actually talking about or flirting with any women, hoping that if he keeps saying it then no one will notice that his interests have definitively shifted elsewhere.