Halsin Silverbough - Tumblr Posts
Thoughts on Halsin as an "atypical druid"
I've seen a number of excellent metas lately about Halsin's atypical druidism (the fact that he does not abhor the undead, does not have complete control over his wildshape, etc.). While I agree completely with those points, I've also noticed a tendency to sometimes frame this as Halsin being a "bad" druid or never really belonging with the druids in the first place. And I strongly disagree with that. I feel that Halsin's druidism is a core aspect of his character and implying that he is somehow "bad at it" robs him of something essential. The fact that he is a unique, complex character with far more depth than just "typical DnD druid" doesn't mean that he is not still a druid at heart - and a pretty formidable one, at that.
I see him as a character who has something in common with the nature deities and magician-priests of ancient myth and legend: Merlin (a mentor whose teachings are rooted in the natural world; who guides kings rather than wishing to rule himself; who mediates between the kingdom of men and animals; and who changes into an animal) and Dionysus (who celebrates multiplicity, fluidity, nature-based wisdom, carnal pleasure, the subversion of unnatural restraints - and who also shapeshifts, by the way). Druidism informs Halsin's entire belief system, ranging from his view on relationships (Halsin never uses the word 'polyamory'; instead, he speaks of "doing as nature does" and explains all of his preferences with nature metaphors - "the bear partners as its instinct dictates", etc.) to the importance he places on community. Halsin is unhappy as Archdruid not because he is just an incompetent leader or can't get along with other druids, but because he is so in tune with nature that he only thrives in communities with a structure more like the branching network of roots or mycelia - like our group of "weirdos" or his rebuilt community in Reithwin. He does know how to guide, counsel, and mediate - all of which are essential leadership abilities. But he needs to be part of an interconnected organism that grows and learns together, not the sole leader of it. To me, this is connected to his shapeshifting abilities and druidism: Halsin is connected to all other beings by literally becoming them (even if he is most attuned to his bear-shape).
Halsin speaks very highly of the grove as a place of worship (let's not forget how deeply religious Halsin is, too), but he also says that life in the grove made him feel cut off from nature. It's ironic that a druid grove runs on politics and power hierarchies (aspects of civilisation that most druids should despise), but it does. This is also a theme in a sidequest in BG2, if anyone recalls. In my opinion, the fact that Halsin feels out of place in a grove that has grown corrupted with politics and power plays actually makes him more true to core druidic beliefs, not less so.
I think the idea that Halsin doesn't get along with other druids gets taken a little too far at times, too. Members of his grove have issues with him primarily because they have been radicalised by Shadow Druids, not because Halsin is just too good-aligned for other druids in general. Note that every single druid in the grove who expresses strong anti-refugee sentiment also supports Kagha and the Rite of Thorns. Halsin welcomes outcasts into the grove because he is compassionate and empathetic as a person, yes, but also because it is part of his druidic belief in harmony, unity, and the value of life. Compare with Olodan's line:
This is not to say that I think Halsin's would never clash with other druids at all, or that I think his relationship with the grove is without friction. Obviously, part of the blame for the infiltration of the Shadow Druids falls on him. Obviously, there would be more neutral-aligned druids who would disagree with him on principle. But the fact that the previous Archdruid chose Halsin as his successor (we must assume that he did, since Halsin obviously didn't sign up for it) strongly indicates to me that the deceased, much wiser elders of the grove valued him greatly. Jaheira also repeatedly refers to him with the deepest respect.
I think it's also worth noting that there is room for nuance in druidic beliefs in the BG series. Faldorn in BG1, Cernd in BG2 and Jaheira in all three games are all very different. In many ways, Jaheira is more Harper than druid, which I think was indicated by her being a multiclassed fighter/druid in the earlier games. It also comes out in her conversation with Halsin about the Shadow Curse:
And if you tell her (speaking as Halsin) that she doesn't have to explain herself to him:
Of course, Halsin has a personal investment in lifting the Shadow Curse that Jaheira doesn't share, namely Thaniel. Only Halsin has a special connection with the very spirit of the land. This is also why he is completely unable to heal and move on until the Shadow Curse is lifted, unlike Jaheira. If the spirit of the land is wounded, then so is his own spirit. Jaheira, as a Fighter-Druid-Harper, is very much a protector of the realms as a whole (nature and civilisation), while Halsin is referred to over and over again by various NPCs as Nature's Steward, Keeper of Groves, Guardian of the Land, etc.
My argument here is not that Halsin is a more "typical" druid than Jaheira or that one is a "better" druid than the other (I love them both deeply). I'm just saying that all of this demonstrates to me how deeply intertwined Halsin's druidism is with the rest of his character. And I really, really appreciate him as a druid along with everything else he is.
I'm not really sure that I understand Tumblr etiquette regarding discussion (what is the polite way to interact with each other here? Commenting? Reblogs with hashtags? I'm too old for this site lol), but I would love to talk about this more. Please don't hesitate to comment, even if you disagree.
Halsin, Drow and submission
Halsin has a complicated history with Lolth-Sworn Drow to say the least. Three years of his youth have been stolen to satiate the selfish, dehumanizing pleasure of an influent matron and her man. Let’s not disregard Minthara who threatens the Emerald Grove alongside Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin in Act I. Although Minthara now serves the Absolute, she is a member of the ancient and powerful House Baenre of Menzoberranzan, thus first and foremost a Lolth-Sworn Drow. Furthermore, Drow cultists also obey her (e.g. the corpse outside of Waukeen's Rest, Narvass in the Shattered Sanctum and the man who attacked Nettie and him). Consequently, we know with certainty that, canonically, Halsin is exposed twice to the infamous cruelty of Lolth-Sworn Drow through his captors, then Minthara and her minions.
Halsin also states that he has returned to the Underdark many times. I assume that he did so before his unfortunate capture, but also after his daring escape from Menzoberranzan. It isn’t too far-fetched to think he might have encountered more Drow showing their typical Lolth-approved brand of malice. Despite his “misadventure”, as Halsin says himself, he couldn’t stay away from the Underdark’s arguably hottest residents. Why so?
Halsin: Astarion, I am astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from. Astarion: Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby? Halsin: Jest all you will. I believe now in your honest heart.
This is a sweet albeit clumsy banter. Halsin seems to relate to Astarion’s traumas, however his gauche attempt to empathize and bond is not well received by the spawn. Although Halsin says “many”, he may be speaking from experience. After all, he is not one to be the center of attention, unless it is in a self-sacrificing way, thus I can hardly imagine him using I, especially with such a personal topic.
As aforementioned, Halsin has never left the Underdark once and for all. I suspect that he may have had difficulties to be intimate again after three uninterrupted years of torment and abuse at the hands of the Drow couple. His frequent returns to the Underdark may have been a way to claim back what was stolen: his ability to express agency and exercise bodily autonomy, among other things. He is desired by Drow because he is an exotic surface dweller, one of a kind. He can handle them now. They cannot hurt him anymore. He knows better. Yet, at the same time, he is objectified. He exposes himself regularly to lovers who are likely to share the same beliefs and ruthlessness as his captors. In order to deal with his traumas, he sought out Drow, perhaps to his own detriment. He became a legend. Halsin coped as best he could. From my point of view, this banter isn't solely about one shared experience among survivors, it’s also about Halsin sympathizing with Astarion because he too had to go through a similar recovery process.
I would like to preface this paragraph with the following statement: I do not judge players who refuse to be exposed to the foursome and the dialogue the encounter unlocks. We all have our boundaries and our sensibilities. This being said, Halsin’s traumas are often met with horror and compassion, sometimes too much if it makes any sense. His past experiences are discussed in such a way that they become sacrosanct. Too holy to be used and abused with his consent. Meanwhile, because Halsin is a bear of a man and a deeply caring individual, he tends to be the top/dom in the relationship. His traumas are sanctified, yet simultaneously they’re overshadowed by his nurturing disposition and his glorious hairy body. As if he can solely be a top/dom. As if DU/Tav must only show empathy, kindness and care as a bottom/sub. Yet care is multifaceted.
This is the crux of this post and one of my main gripes with the fandom: Halsin shouldn't be a strict top/dom. In fact, I am persuaded submitting would help him a lot.
Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall…? A harmless game, until it becomes real.
While I believe Halsin would relish any flavor of dom, I am also inclined to think he would request scenes that happened with his captors. In other words, his partner can hardly be a gentle dom only. He would willingly explore his traumas in a risk-aware and consensual environment, with the person he has come to love, trust and rely on the most.
Oftentimes, when survivors enjoy anything remotely close to their trauma(s), such as a kink, when they ask for it and like it, when the exploration and the re-enactment of their trauma(s) are positive, then the public opinion is either worried or downright judgmental. There is not a singular way to cope and heal. BDSM is too often pathologized. It can be curative. Consensual slavery to serve a harsh master, especially a Drow DU/Tav, could be healing for Halsin. He hurts himself with the twins (my post), as he oft does, however it may be completely different if he submits to his lover the very same way he has submitted to his captors. This time, his consent will be supreme.
By the way, I don’t aim to enforce a specific hierarchy, however I do believe a Bhaal-made Drow/Drow Tav would play a unique role. Halsin is traumatized by Drow.
Sszazar: You are aware you're asking me to kill a drow? Halsin: You drow relish turning on your own, if there's something to be gained. Don't pretend otherwise.
Sometimes, because of traumas, unfair expectations are placed on certain individuals because they are associated with said traumas. It isn't rational, it just happens. So, a relationship with a Drow could be more intricate than with any other race while Halsin is finally taking care of himself. Thus, curative BDSM (as in re-enacting traumatizing scenes) may be even more intense with a Drow partner.
Sszazar: The mighty bear is an escaped pet, then. I wonder if there is a reward for your return.
It would be a delightful line. To be honest, the [Drow] options available during the dialogue about his past demonstrate the deeper involvement of a Drow DU/Tav. This intricacy is also highly visible thanks to Halsin's lack of rage or sadness when the previous option is selected. Drow DU/Tav look like his captors. He's still trauma-bound to them.
Lastly, it’s okay to favor dom Halsin over sub Halsin. It’s difficult to write about topics we know nothing about or that we simply don’t like. Nevertheless, it’s unfortunate Halsin isn't more written as a sub, let alone as a sub re-enacting voluntarily past traumas to heal and to enjoy himself. I wonder if Halsin would be more often depicted as a sub and/or bottom if he looked like the average wood elf, less manly and huge.
Bears love to be dominated too.
The younger days of Halsin, a druid fueled by curiosity and recklessness (sometimes stubbornness, his mother dotes on him though)
(Skip to 17:58) Here is a video from DanaDuchy, of Halsin flexing his biceps if anyone wants to see!
Yes yes! Don't get me wrong I love the sexy halsin posts very much but need more studying, laughing, meditating and bear Halsin.
Makes me sad to see the difference between pretty and hot and sexual posts of Halsin and the ones where OP sees him primarily as a person.
I just think he's neat!
Halsin's solomanced epilogue devastates me without fail EVERY TIME.
He thought it would be a mistake to go. He was certain that you, connecting with your old friends, would realize you were absolutely miserable with him at the commune, and you would leave. For the first time in his life, Halsin didn't want to roam anymore- he wanted to stay somewhere safe and comforting, and that included you. But he was sure coming was going to change all of that and make you leave him.
But he still went, partly because he missed your friends so much, and partly because he knew, if that was the case, he still needed to let you discover that. That once again, he couldn't "hoard you to himself" and be selfish. So he went, certain that any moment, you'd return to him and say it was over, and you'd found a new adventure to start without him.
It kills me that he doesn't even try to stop you! He lays out his concerns, so vulnerable but so matter-of-fact. Knowing it isn't his place to change your mind.
"You could have done anything. Gone with anyone. Yet you chose me." There's just so much... unspoken pain and confusion in that statement. He doesn't understand how or why you could have chosen him above anyone else. And for that reason alone, his own inability to see how special he is (ironic coming from the one who tells YOU back in your romance scene together that you are too modest, not realizing how special YOU are) he is certain you're about to leave him, but unlike in the act 3 romance scene where he's sure you're about to leave him for accidentally wildshaping, there's no frantically-stammered excuses. Just heartbroken acceptance.
And then, when you reassure him that of course you're staying, of course you're happy with him?
"I am still expecting to... stir from the dream."
"Forgive me. This past while has been so idyllic that I almost fear something must go wrong."
Which is a sign that on top of his insecurities and abandonment issues, this man very much does have trauma/PTSD. Because people with trauma? They're really good at living through a crisis, and really bad at NOT being in one. How do you function when there's nothing to fix? Nothing going wrong? No fires to put out? Too much quiet makes the noise inside of you louder, and that's harder to ignore than external noise. So when that happens, you start worrying about what must be about to go wrong- and for Halsin, that was losing you. He was so sure that his happiness was going to be fleeting at best that he convinced himself that you were only going to be a part of it so long as you weren't reminded of how much you loved adventuring with your friends, that the instant you remembered what the alternatives to him were, you'd take them.
It breaks my damn heart, and it makes me so happy you get to promise him that he is exactly what you want, no more and no less.
This man was made for me
How Halsin’s “once you get to my age” conversation not long after he finally recruited as a party member SHOULD have gone if you were an elf and could call him out on not being old.
Because as a drow my Tav should be allowed to call him out and tease him over it
(My Tav, but written pretty generically and without any gender indicators for Tav so knock yourself out)
————————
“You didn’t answer the part about lovers” you say as you fold your arms. Halsin held a certain level of fascination to you. Maybe it was his sheer size, maybe it was his confidence, or his willingness to just listen. Maybe it was because you truly could not get a read on him.
He had been frustratingly dodging most questions about himself until now, softly smiling and telling you ‘there will be time for questions later. I must keep my focus on the task at hand’ and now somehow managed to tell you an incredible amount and nothing at all at the same time.
“I’m 350 years old. Of course there have been lovers. Just because I love nature doesn’t mean I’m betrothed to it. Though sometimes, nature needs reminding…” he trailed off.
Another redirection, talks of the past while not acknowledging that the question was about the current and offering an interesting tidbit instead. You recognized what he was trying to do, but unfortunately his smirk while speaking about nature alluded to an all too good to pass up story.
“Hold on- nature needs reminding of what exactly?” you ask.
“Well, I didn’t pick this scar up in battle. I was in wildshape, only I forgot it was the season when bears are particularly social. A she-bear claimed me as her own- and did not appreciate being spurned” he said.
Less riveting than you hoped, but still interesting. And certainly not enough to convince you to drop the question.
“Don’t leave me hanging- is there someone in your life right now?” Simple. Direct. Surely no way to dodge it again.
“Right now? I bed down alone, I’m afraid” he answers. There’s a small drop in his voice, not sorrow, but, disappointment?“Perhaps once I talk less of curses and parasites, my fortunes will improve”.
It was not quite the answer you were expecting. A clear answer this time, but something in the way his words hung in the air felt off.
You look over his face, searching for some glimmer of information but are met with the same relaxed but stoic expression he used when he was done talking about a subject.
“Tell me something about yourself that I wouldn’t even think to ask” you change the subject, hoping to find any bit of interesting information from him.
“Hmm, I suppose you wouldn’t be shocked to learn I love animals and nature? I know, I know; well-trodden territory. Well, let’s see… I whittle in my spare time, and I’ve something of a sweet tooth- though everyone’s very amused when I say I like honey”.
A smile plays on your lips, you genuinely could not tell if he was avoiding saying much and choosing to give you obvious answers purposefully or not.
“Whittling? What do you make?” you ask, fishing for anything you could.
“Ornaments, utensils- and ducks. I like ducks”.
New information gained and yet nothing new truly learned.
“So you turn into a bear and you like honey?” you repeat back to him, “A little on the nose”.
“I like what I like. Once you get to my age you realize there’s little point in denying yourself, so long as other’s aren’t affected” Halsin replies.
“Your age?” you laugh, in the grand scheme of elven lives Halsin was young still, only a few decades older than yourself despite speaking as if he was at least 800. “And how old do you think I am?”
Halsin flashed a quick smile, brief but betraying a lot of emotion. The sort guilty smile you offer when you’re caught.
“My apologies. I don’t encounter too many full elves these days” his face relaxes, not his usual careful composure, but a true relaxation. “No, I supposed 350 is young still, and sometimes I need reminding of that too. You get used to seeing life on the scale that the others see. People treat you as old and you start to believe it, or at least you let them make their assumptions about you”.
“So ‘old, wise Halsin’ is an act?” you tease.
“I am wise!” he laughs, a truly deep laugh that rumbled from his chest. A laugh that spreads into a sense of warmth within you. “If I wasn’t then you wouldn’t have come to my grove seeking my knowledge and skills!”
“I was told to seek out the old, wise archdruid of the the grove and imagine my surprise seeing an elf, only decades older than myself acting as if he was as least twice his age!” You laughed back, unable to keep his laughter from spreading to you. “Though I suppose I can keep quiet and let you continue this front, if you can keep up with me, old man, because I very much so am still young” you tease.
“You’ll find I’m more than able to keep up with anything you’ve got, don’t let me fool you into thinking my size is just for show. I think you’ll find I’m more than capable of going all day and night” the tone that crept into his voice let you know that he very much knew why you were asking if he currently had a lover earlier.
I want to ask how you feel about Halsin's ending. Specifically the part where he doesnt invite the player to go with him. Not to give vampire on main, but I sit around wondering if he even wanted the player to come at all since he didnt actually invite them or even hint about it or anything. Which is also kind of weird to me because he's been pretty straight forward and honest with the player up to that point so I cant help but wonder if maybe he was trying to break it off. Roaming free and all that you know?
I don't think it's about roaming or not being committed to you, though of course Halsin does have a different way of defining relationships. If you put the pieces together from the rest of his scenes, especially his solomanced epilogue, you notice a few things.
Halsin has severe abandonment issues; multiple times near the end, you can suggest leaving (whether disbanding your group or dumping him as a partner) and he will sadly lament that it was inevitable. A lot of people with abandonment issues start getting so used to being left behind that they start doing the leaving first, feeling like it might hurt less if they do it.
Similarly, Halsin says in his solomanced epilogue that he never thought the player would want to go with him; "you could have done anything, gone with anyone... yet you chose me." He also looks utterly stunned when you tell him you do want to go with him, but also overjoyed when you assert that yes, that is what you want.
With both of those things taken together? Due to his idolization of you and his abandonment issues, he thought it was impossible that you could ever want to stay with him. He just genuinely never thought it was possible. So he made the step of leaving, of building a future for himself, under the assumption that you, the savior of Baldur's Gate, would want to stay in the city to enjoy the parades and feats in your honor rather than start a brand new life with him. If you tell him you want to part ways, he sadly tells you it was always meant to be, and that he is still grateful for having met you; if you tell him that of course you're coming, he is stunned, but immediately accepts the idea as soon as you reassure him that this is what you want.
So all that to say? He wanted to join you more than anything- he just never dared think you would actually want him, too. ;-;
Your party is gathered...
BALDUR'S GATE 3 COMPANIONS (1/2) | the men insp. by @emblazons
bg3 main characters + major arcana (part 1)
Friend made a joke that needed to be drawn out.
I have a dialogue with my first Tav, Imogen, Circle of the Land druid.
Imogen: Stop doing it, Gale, or I'll bite you!
Gale: I enjoyed it last time *smug smile*
Imogen: In my Wild Shape!
Gale: You set my fantasies wild.
Something about this party banter is just *chef's kiss*
Gale being WAY too interested in wildshape sex, Halsin being all "wait, Mystra WASN'T in animal form when you did the deed?" and Gale being like "nah but having sex without a body was real hot tbh"
Like we got an open freak (/affectionate) and a closeted freak (/affectionate) together and they are fucking stupid and awkward and I love this for them.
Two men hug, one is 35, the other 350.
For everyone, who needs a hug.
Could someone summon Halsin to come give me a hug. I'm ok, I'd just like a hug like that is all.
Baldur's Gate 3 City Game
Practically all the characters of “Baldur's Gate 3” come from different cities: the eponymous Baldur's Gate, Waterdeep or even Menzoberranzan. So, I decided we could imagine how they live and love in different cities.
Choose a city location/situation from the list and make a drabble or headcanon of characters of your choice (and your OCs!). It can also be an ask game.
You can choose any city from Forgotten Realms fandom or even make a modern AU/isekai in an IRL city of your choice. Also you can make it SFW or NSFW.
List of subjects
1. Coffeeshop/bakery
2. Park
3. Main road/highway
4. Market
5. Historical centre/city centre
6. Summer heat in the city
7. Dark alleyway
8. Underground/catacombs
9. Public transport
10. University/academy
11. Administrative building
12. Offices
13. Fun-fair/festivities/parade
14. Vista point high above the city
15. Outskirts
16. Fancy boutique
17. Cafe/tavern
18. Restaurant
19. Cemetery
20. Museum
21. Concert in a big concert hall
22. Castle (surrounded by the city)
23. Cathedral
24. Traffic jams (should be fun with horses and magic)
25. Creative district
26. Rain downpour in the city
27. Big book shop/magic book shop
28. Dumping ground
29. School/kindergarten
30. Hospital
31. Industrial district/docks
There are 31 of them, so you can make a post a day throughout July. Or make it an ask game!
You can ask me about Gale and my Tavs in the city.
It's the first time I make a game on Tumblr, so feel free to drop your advice to me.