Hate Him So Much - Tumblr Posts
Just found this again and it still hurts the same as when I first read it 😭
Are You Lonesome Tonight? (Floyd, Jade)
The Leech twins are very particular about one thing in specific: anything that's boring is a big no. That includes their dating life.
NOTE: I only write for female reader but everyone is welcome to read it!
There we go, folks, I finally opened my Elvis playlist after resisting for so long. It's like I haven't learned anything in all my past Fandoms. Also... second part, maybe?
The eels call each other "other half" because I think it's cute
ANGST. But not just for Reader ;) With a hopeful ending? Maybe?
This has a SEQUEL!
— (╥﹏╥)
— Floyd
Floyd's relationship is going well. So well that it's a problem. Now Shrimpy is old news, and will willingly show Floyd everything she is and does, taking away the thrill of hunting down that information.
And worse, Floyd has become predictable to her. She can tell what he is feeling and what he'll do just as well as Jade, which takes away the fun of being a wild card, even if most of the time she lets him do whatever he wants.
Differently from Azul, the eels, and specially Floyd, do not enjoying the curse of knowing. The unexpected has always been more interesting.
But now he's bored of this relationship. And Floyd is not one for sticking around to boring things without knowing they'll have interesting results.
"Shrimpy, let's break up," he bluntly tells her as soon as he arrives to their usual lunch spot at the Monstro Lounge. "You're no fun anymore."
The girl stares up to him, and he feels a rush of pleasure at the whirlwind of feelings in her eyes betraying her blank expression. Oh, at least she gave him a last moment of enjoyment! Maybe, if she keeps showing all those feelings, he'll keep her around as a friend–
Then she blinks and the feelings are gone, all replaced by a calm tide of understanding and kindness. She smiles at him, her usual gentle smile back in place, and gets up, leaving her half drank drink and some money on the table.
"I understand, Floyd," she says, and her voice trembles a little before steading. Shrimpy gently takes one of his hands and squeezes between hers. "Thank you so much for all those happy memories. I hope we can still be friends and that you find someone who will keep you entertained."
Then she drops his hand and scurries off. Floyd is left in the middle of Monstro Lounge, silent and frozen, the warmth on his hand slowly fading as time moves on. It takes him another minute to snap out of it, and now he's in a terrible mood and he doesn't even know why. He was supposed to be happy! The boring thing was taken care of! He's free! Free!
Except he spends the rest of the day sulking. Except he ends the day depressingly throwing himself on the bed and clutching his pillow with trembling hands. Except he tosses and turns and dreams of (Y/N). Except he wakes up grumpy. Except he does terribly at classes and gets scolded. Except he works terribly at Monstro Lounge and gets scolded. Except he doesn't even feel like getting annoyed at the scoldings. Except he spends the rest of the day sulking. Except he ends the days staring at his ceiling with a blank expression. Except he starts the days grumpy and tired. Except he skips classes because he feels like breaking something. Except he gets scolded every day for missing class and being late for work. Except
"Floyd, this is enough," Jade appears in his line of view, openly worried as he leans down to look at his twin. "What is bothering you so much? You're tearing up."
Floyd blinks, finally noticing the wetness in his eyes. Jade sits on his bed and Floyd sits up to stare at him. This is not a scolding. This is an intervention, one of Jade's rare moments of care, where he drops all his lies and half-truths.
Much how his Shrimpy used to do.
"Floyd..." Jade murmurs, hands cupping Floyd's face and thumbs catching his tears. "What is the matter, my other half?"
"... I broke up with Shrimpy," Floyd sobs, not holding back his tears or his words. "I thought... I thought she was boring, and she was! There's never anything interesting anymore, so I– I broke up with her, but... Hic...!"
With a wail, he throws himself at his brother's arms, squeezing him with all his might, hiding his face in his neck. He's crying harder than he has in years, the last time being when they were children. Jade only hugs him back, hand soothingly rubbing his back, knowing exactly what his twin needs. Floyd sobs out more words, some he can't even understand himself, but his other half only listens, nodding every now and then to assure him that he's being listened to.
Once he's done crying, he's so tired that he doesn't protest when Jade lays him back on his bed and then takes his place by his side. Sharing a bed comes naturally to them, and so does the cuddling. Usually, Floyd would tease Jade for being a softie, but he doesn't have the strength to muster even a huff.
"It seems, Floyd, that your feelings run deeper than just interest," Jade says after a moment, ungloved fingers running through Floyd's hair. "You probably... no, you definitely like her, romantically. Maybe you even love her."
"I don't love boring things!"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but she is not a thing, brother," Floyd can't believe that mister schemer said that also, but Jade's words are upsettingly making too much sense. "She's a girl you seem to hold dearly."
"But, then, why was she boring?"
"... I can't answer that, my other half. I'm not even sure you were bored. Every time I saw you with her, I thought you were at your happiest."
Floyd deflates even more, cuddling his brother for comfort, wishing he was cuddling his Shrimpy. She'd always let him cuddle and squeeze her, and giggle when he'd knead her sides or nip her shoulder. It was... nice. Not exactly fun, but nice. Made him feel warm. Warm like when she'd bring him food she cooked herself. She'd repeat the dishes he liked, and it was... nice. Warm. Like her kisses, always so gentle and sweet. Expected. Nice.
Not really fun. But really nice.
It didn't make his blood pump, but it warmed him. Made him... satisfied.
"... I wanna my Shrimpy back."
"Fufufu... should we prepare then?"
— (╥﹏╥)
— Jade
"I'd like to talk to you later."
Her eyes widen for a moment before she nods, and Jade relishes in the nervousness creeping up her back. A very rare feeling when it comes to his girlfriend lately.
(Y/N) was the most interesting person when they first met, and in all aspects but teir relationship, she still is, what with her lack of magic, her determination and her pechant for getting in troubro helping others. But months into a relationship, and Jade has found everything there is to find about her. Sure, the shenanigans she brings are always entertaining, but he doesn't need to be more than a friend to be part of those.
Doesn't need to waste effort into maintaining a romantic relationship.
So he won't. Jade loves being efficient, after all.
Which is why there's already a paid drink on the table when she arrives at Monstro Lounge. If he wants in whenever shenanigans happen, he needs to at least be liked and trusted enough to be an option in case things got bad. So a proper, honest break up is the best. He even lets her take a sip of the drink and swallow it before opening his mouth, to avoid her choking.
"I'll be direct, since I don't want to drag such unpleasant moment much longer," he starts, staring right at her eyes, "The truth is... I'm breaking up with you."
Silence.
"C-Can I ask why?" (Y/N) stutters, playing with the drink's straw. "Did I do something?"
"Oh, no, you did nothing. And that's the problem. You see, me and my brother... we don't like boring."
He knows he's being cruel now, but he wants to finish this quickly. Jade is the type of person with much to do and very little time, so every minute is precious.
"Oh..." she mumbles, taking a deep breath before mustering up a smile. It looks a bit crooked, but it is still as kind as always. "Right. I understand. Thank you for being honest, Jade. I hope we can still be friends...?"
"Of course, I'd love that."
"Right... right. I'm gonna- I'm gonna go now, ok? Thanks for the drink."
She runs off, no doubt going to tell her friends about the break up. If it's her usual group, then she'll be fine. Jade takes the glass, finishes the drink in one go and immediately moves to the next task on his long, long list.
Jade does very well the days after the breakup. He excels at work, he excels at school, he excels at keeping his brother from bothering others too much, he excels at taking care of his terrariums. Truly, he's so efficient, one would believe he is the one with either ten limbs or a cloning magic. He's so effficient that he... doesn't have as many tasks as before.
And without tasks to fill in the time, it becomes obvious the holes in his schedule. Without a girlfriend to walk to class, he has to wander the hallways alone. Without a girlfriend to cook with, he has to cook and clean alone. Without a girlfriend to tutor, he doesn't know what to do but sit on the library with his textbooks open, all assignments completed to perfection. Once the amount of tasks went down, his time alone went up, and he has no idea how to feel about it.
He knows even less how to feel when he sees (Y/N) talking with that Savanaclaw first year—what was his name again? Jake? Jack?—animatedly, touching his arm and even leaning on it, sharing with him her pretty giggles and shining smiles while the boy drinks up her attention with a bright blush and a fake scowl. They walk off arm in arm, and Jade stands there, stupefied, feeling something inside him tear like paper.
"Other half, what is it?"
"Floyd?"
Floyd approaches with uncharacteristically worried eyes, hands raising to cup his face. Jade allows him, only to flinch back when he feels a thumb smear something wet on his cheek.
Oh.
"... who did this?" Floyd growls, and Jade is warmed by the knowledge that his brother, his twin, his other half, is always willing to fight in his name.
"I did this to myself," he admits quietly, stepping closer to the other. Floyd is clearly confused, but accepts his brother in his arms nonetheless, understanding that Jade is feeling a bit too vulnerable at the moment. "It seems not even I am safe from stupid mistakes."
"Of course, you silly fishy~" the other pats his back lightly, squeezing him with all his might in an attempt to comfort. "What did you do?"
"... I broke up with (Y/N)."
"Oh, that's stupid."
"Thanks."
"It's the truth," Floyd shrugs, now patting his head. "You really love Shrimpy, though. Always beaming near her, why did you break up? Did she do something? I'll squeeze her for you!"
"No, no, I just... Thought it was boring."
"... Huh. I didn't have that impression at all. If anything, you always look happy near her, like she hung the moon and stars. It's even sappier than when you're looking at mushrooms."
Jade chuckles softly, knowing that he has no way of denying it. Not when he still spends time to wait for her between classes only to remember the two are not together anymore. Not when he cooks for her and then has to eat it because she's not there anymore. Not when he wants to fight that wolf boy for daring to take away her attention, despite knowing he also has no right to it anymore.
Not when he loves her so dearly, and still broke up with her.
He needs to get her back.
"... Floyd. Would you like to join me in my next plan?"
"What's the plan? If it's fun, you can count on me~"
Gege is giving you so much plot armor and protection😡😡
Looks at canon: Mahito is smiling in glee at his crimes
In my fanfic: Oh you are going to enter a world of pain Mahito😈😈😈
He's having such a good time!