Highschool Art - Tumblr Posts
I think almost 3 years later I finally understand how to interpret my own art.
For my highschool art portfolio you had to submit a concentration. A number of peices all with a theme or at least all in the same medium. I went with ink pen. Specifically, all of my peices were done as a single line drawing, with the pen never leaving the paper, and sometimes dabbling with watercolor as well.
I was in highschool and in pain. I knew I was depressed, diagnosed and medicated. But I didn't understand why. Part of it was purely physical brain chemistry. But another was my perspective.
One single unbroken line. I believe I have firmly overcome my depression. I am still dependent on medication and have come to terms that I probably will be for the rest of this life. But I am now happy, and brimming with hope. And with that has come hightened understanding.
I had come to resent my highschool art. I saw it as proof of my pain and failures. And I thought it perfectly represents my selfishness. In highschool I was looking forward to better days wanting better things, but I wanted them for myself.
I believe I have a pretty good imagination. I seem to have always been good at looking down the road to the future. Knowing whether or not an action will hurt me. But my focus was on my timeline, not others. I was only looking at a single line.
I knew I wanted to be good. But with only the perspective of a single line there was no urgency, no reason. If I was doing this only for me? Well than I'd rather just be lazy.
There are a thousand selfish reasons to never change.
I know that no matter what I do or don't do, I am loved; I know very well my agency, that I am free to subject myself to things that will hurt me. But I do not want anyone to hurt longer than they have to. I want to, am axious and excited to change, to be better for others. I take care of myself, practice self-love, so I can stay longer to help others.
Beware of myopic, singular, or narrow-minded thinking. Look to love others.
one of my first digital paintings
stranger in the thresh hold. A ghost that embodies all your bad karma.
i did this as i was learning to paint on photo shop