I Dont Have An Explanation For The Sheer Yap I Have Just Spouted - Tumblr Posts

i have an itty bitty headcanon for one sirius orion black iii that i’d like to address if that’s cool?

sirius, as he grows up, fears his mother less and less. she’s awful, absolutely abhorrent, and merlin knows that will never change, but what can she do to him that she hasn’t previously? he’s not naïve enough to believe there isn’t a world of pain out there that he hasn’t experienced, but the weathered corner walburga rules is familiar and unchanging. walburga has never been soft in her discipline, and her anger is predictable as he grows.

if he were to face a boggart, he would see himself. not as he is, of course. sirius has shed blood, sweat and an insurmountable number of tears to be exactly who he is and fuck it if he isn’t comfortable in the skin he’s sewn himself. no, his boggart has succumbed to the black family madness, and that is what sirius fears. that he cannot escape his family, and instead becomes another copy, another mindless clone that thrives off pain and fear and chaos. this inheritance is the only truly unmovable force that could drive him to being just another black.

that is what sirius fears. what is to stop him from hurting his true family and his favoured parents and his brothers, if he is descending into the same spiral of insanity that has taken his mother, his cousin and who knows how many other relatives?

sirius knows, and the odds are not in his favour.

this is what sirius fears.