I Feel So Much Better Wth - Tumblr Posts

I’ll leave. I’ll leave if you ask because dammit I’m nothing but nice. I’ll do anything you say. But if you want me to be good to myself I can’t. Because I know I don’t deserve it. I’m a terrible person and it sucks to know that but not be able to stop. I hate people. I don’t know how be nice but so many people call me it. They think I’m nice.

Am I nice?

I don’t think so. I call people stupid. I laugh if you fall over and I can’t really comfort people well. If I could I’d punch my friend. My family. If I could run off and never see them all again I would. I hate them all. But I’ll always help you up. Make you laugh at my own expense. I’ll cry and sob alone but the second you see me I’ll be grinning at you. Asking if you’ve seen the latest ——— or trying to get you to watch ——— with me. I love them too much.

I wish I was nice. I wish I liked myself. I like how I look don’t get me wrong. My hair’s nice, my eyes are a gorgeous blue. But I don’t like my personality. My voice. How I talk. I want to be myself. I want to let my accent go free- let my mind run rampant as someone listens.

But instead I have to listen to you.

You rant at me. Rave about some guy you saw that hurt you. I never want to listen. But I have to. Because I’m *nice* and I can’t not be.

Because who am I if you don’t think I’m nice?