I Imagine Death So Much It Feels More Like A Memory - Tumblr Posts
You boy never get satisfied, enjoy the last supper.
Saw a photo of a little lion feeding and getting warm in an animal body… it’s gorgeous and reminds me young Alex 🥹
I always love young Alex🥹 your endless ambition
this is made explicit in the musical but i'd argue it's also very much applicable to the real hamilton. his childhood experiences probably pushed him on and gave him that great thirst and drive, and he channeled that energy into writing.
and of course, honor was always going to be a touchy subject. illegitimate orphan of a woman called a whore is bad enough, but that combined with actually upper-class, noble familial connections? the fact that his father wasn't even dead so alexander probably kept him in his mind constantly? it probably exacerbated hamilton's issues even more so than if he'd just been a poor man's son. because now you've got a sense that you're owed something and have something to be proud of, but you still have to fight for it tooth and nail every step of the way.
"Why do you write like you need it to survive?" because he does he does he does. he wouldn't have survived if he hadn't begun clerking for the landlord or worked in a trading charter, jobs that inherently require skills in writing. he wrote about the hurricane's destruction of his hometown so poignantly that people decided to help him in furthering his education, KEEPING HIM ALIVE. and as much as he wanted to be something else, as much as he wanted a troop of men to command, hamilton as an adult/young man was NOTHING without his writing. he wouldn't have been washington's right hand man, he wouldn't have gone to the winter's ball to meet eliza, he wouldn't have wooed her with his letters or convinced her father, he wouldn't have built his career or been a founding father. he would have died, a bastard, orphan, impoverished. dead. "Why do you write like you need it to survive?" because he DOES. that's why hamilton could never let an insult go, that's why he always needed to write back, that's why he never stopped reaching for more, because without his writing, without his wit, without his rapid responses, he is NOTHING
this is unfair since there's no information on him but in my head, james hamilton jr. definitely screamed "i am the eldest boy!" at alexander at least once.
Hamilton being a youngest son and a Capricorn... Literally pick a struggle
May not look it, but that’s supposed to be a young A.Ham defending his older brother James who I was to lazy too draw, from his half-brother Peter who I was too lazy to draw…. xD
ever yours
Basicaly a short story that reveals my understanding of AHam.
I am so in love with his high sensitivity and low empathy. This whole deal of not trusting crowds makes him partially out from the human society. I love the feeling SOOOO MUUUUUUUCH
And maybe because I was putting in so much genuine emotion, creating this artwork was a blast! I hope this little story manages to pass on some of my feelings to anyone how read!
Here is the full poem I wrote in chinese:
《一只掠食者如何死去》
啃食母亲血肉的幼犬。
用尾巴拖出一条褐色的脐带，
那凹陷的肋骨
和他身下的白骨
如此相称！
咬下最后一口肉块，
它迈步狂奔。
凄厉的狂吠是亲人的丧钟，
脆弱的脚带它走向新的路。
可怜可悲的怪诞生物，
妄图扭成人形？
可他余下罪孽更加可怖！
贪婪的嘴巴吞下每个机会，
急躁的手掌抢夺每份荣耀。
幼犬长成冷血的狼，
却仍然学不会
从奔跑中停歇。
在这时竟吐出人言：
——神圣的天使！
你傲慢的耳
或许听说过
沉默的绵羊
如何任人践踏。
你高贵的眼
或许阅读过
狡猾的老鼠
如何自甘堕落。
你广阔的学识
或许见证过
懦弱的兔子
如何困死病榻。
你苍白的脸上可曾溅上鲜红的血？
从缪斯停留的古典画框里，
自潘神藏身的大理石像中，
我们尊贵的诗人显出真身，
隔着玻璃怜悯无声病逝的宠物，
却厌恶再去多看出逃的猛兽一眼。
虚假的伪君子，冠冕堂皇的大人。
你何必再为注定被遗忘的人铺床？
死亡本是
我们每晚的归宿，
在漫长的奔波中
让不体面的争抢和讥讽
充满天堂。
我们认为以下是真理不言自明
人人生而贪婪，
造物者赋予他们若干不可逃避的欲求，
其中包括：
支配欲
报复欲
永不餍足的野心
怯懦的人跌倒死去，
愚蠢的人骨断筋折。
固执又狡猾的野狗手脚并用着往前爬行，
逐渐被记忆撕碎成载着刻薄和焦躁的幽灵。
只等待
最后一声枪响点燃灵魂上的火药，
烧出人皮下扭曲的苍白骨架，
令围观者欢呼
肮脏的掠食者注定死于非命！