Idk If I Feel Better But Oh Well - Tumblr Posts

<sappy shit. will probably delete later, just venting>

sometimes i wish people wanted to spend more time with me

i ask if people wanna sometimes but usually either don't really get a reply or it's only rare that people are out and seem to wanna meet up, and honestly as far back as i can think, i'm usually the one asking if anyone wants to hang, but then again people have busy lives and i end up feeling bad for feeling bad, which goes around in a horrible guilt cycle

it doesn't much help my already tanked self esteem when i constantly assume people dont like me, and honestly if thats the case i just really want people to say so, and i can sort of just withdraw at that point which would at least make things feel stable

i just wanted to write this down somewhere to try and get it out of my head, even if im worried someone i know will see it and think im angry at them or some shit

i think this is partly why i sort of plan my life around eventually disappearing off everyone's radar, going off the grid and just sort of socially not existing anymore, because being alone with just trees and animals for company would somehow be so much easier than feeling like a spare part

<end of cringe sadposting>