Probably Will Delete Later - Tumblr Posts
i fuck you not i just had the worst few hours of my life <3
Hello dear slasher fandom
I hope y’all doing great
Love you╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
<sappy shit. will probably delete later, just venting>
sometimes i wish people wanted to spend more time with me
i ask if people wanna sometimes but usually either don't really get a reply or it's only rare that people are out and seem to wanna meet up, and honestly as far back as i can think, i'm usually the one asking if anyone wants to hang, but then again people have busy lives and i end up feeling bad for feeling bad, which goes around in a horrible guilt cycle
it doesn't much help my already tanked self esteem when i constantly assume people dont like me, and honestly if thats the case i just really want people to say so, and i can sort of just withdraw at that point which would at least make things feel stable
i just wanted to write this down somewhere to try and get it out of my head, even if im worried someone i know will see it and think im angry at them or some shit
i think this is partly why i sort of plan my life around eventually disappearing off everyone's radar, going off the grid and just sort of socially not existing anymore, because being alone with just trees and animals for company would somehow be so much easier than feeling like a spare part
<end of cringe sadposting>
I'm so fucking tired of this. From now on, my existence is TWICE illegal in my country. First, they banned transgenders, and now they declared entire LGBT movement "extremists". I'm so tired of being the invisible and "acceptable" victim of the regime. If you're LGBT, you are basically not even considered a person or a citizen. You're either a scapegoat used for propaganda, or a simple buzzword for earning social credit points. Your so called "rights" are not fundamental nor universal, they exist as long as they are profitable for political elites. They can be taken away at any time and at any place. And this saddens me the most. There is no fucking escape from it. It happens EVERYWHERE. Some people can enjoy life and do whatever the fuck they want. But we, LGBT people, are a subject of political discourse and we HAVE to ASK for a right to just LIVE. Everything in our lives is considered political. We can not just appear in media, just marry and raise children, we can not just walk in public unless we confirm to the "appropriate" gender standards, we can not just participate in sports, just donate blood and do many other things. We can not be your average citizens, because the state itself might label us as "undesirables". And you know what? I'm fucking sick of this. I want to know what it feels like to just be some dude at least for once.